Dark night halloween trail long island

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---
The return trip to Madhyam somehow felt a great deal faster than the initial voyage to Rājadhānī. Tristan chalked it up to a combination of things—Encroachers seemed to stay out of their way, the winds and sands moving in their favor, and everyone received at least one full night’s rest. With so many bodies, it was easier to split the night watch between all of them.
Tristan shared his gigashank with Zahra, and they filled the time with idle chatter. His thoughts were consumed by the immense amount of work that lay before him, not allowing for anything deeper than brief observations and inquiries.
Cailu had asked him to essentially resolve the same issues on San Island that plagued San Francisco; homelessness and orphaned kittens. Battling Encroachers and Defiled were one thing, but resurrecting a broken economy? That was a task that could take years of designing and implementing. Just how long did Cailu want him to stay on San?
When they did reach Madhyam, the group made a point to visit Ishani at Tristan’s suggestion. It was the least he could do for Zahra after all of her help. They were welcomed just as warmly as their first visit with Zahra’s mother.
“Three men in my house! What an honor!” Ishani fussed between them, her eyes glittering with wonder. “Please, allow me to serve you a small meal before you continue on.” She rested her hands over her stomach and performed the traditional bow.
Tristan returned it, and Cailu was nearly in sync with his movements. Tristan cleared his throat to catch Matt’s attention and was glad when he followed suit.
“It would be our pleasure,” Cailu replied. “Your daughter has been a tremendous help.”
Ishani straightened her back and clutched her hands to her chest. “You bless us both. Sands walk with you, sir.”
There was an unspoken rule on Ichi when someone invited you to stay. The guests were meant to relax and let the members of the household do all the work. But even with Zahra’s help, preparing anything for thirteen people would be no easy feat.
“Ishani, if you’d permit me to, I’d love to help you prepare everything.” Tristan smiled. “I know there are a lot of us.”
“Oh! Me, too!” Cannoli said. She’d been far more chipper during their journey back than Tristan had seen her in a long time. He hoped it was a good sign.
Ishani studied them for a time, eyes flickering to the full group as her tail rocked back and forth in thought. At last, she nodded. “Yes, I would be glad to have your assistance.”
“And mine, of course,” Zahra chimed in. “It is still my house after all.”
Ishani swept an arm over Zahra’s shoulders and hugged her daughter close. “Of course, my sweet. This will always be your home.”
They moved to the modest kitchen while the rest of the group made their way outside. Cannoli set to work on passing out drinks and preparing small plates while Ishani gave Tristan and Zahra instructions for cutting and seasoning meats. While they worked, Ishani’s questions began to roll in like the tide.
“We heard of Magni’s death a little over two days after it happened,” Ishani began. “An Ejderha arrived begging for Sanctuary. How did it happen?”
Zahra pursed her lips. “The Ejderha didn’t say?”
“It is best to hear a tale from a tongue you trust,” Ishani replied.
“Cailu challenged Magni to a sanctioned duel and won,” Tristan said. “He left the throne to Naeemah.”
“Then it is true. That is wonderful news!” Ishani stoked the flames at the stove, hooking a large pot over the coal. “And what of Sanrai?”
Tristan looked up from his diced onyans and over at Zahra.
Zahra’s expression softened. “Sanrai returned to the sands, Mother,” she said softly. “She refused to see reason.”
Ishani froze, her hand hovering over a ladle. A string of expressions passed over her face, her eyes searching into an abyss they could not see.
Even after the hell Sanrai had put them through, Tristan’s heart broke for her mother. He couldn’t imagine how receiving news like that felt, and he desperately searched for the right thing to say. Sanrai was powerful, intense, calculating. She’d driven them out of the city not once, but twice, and very nearly killed Ceres.
“Zahra did everything she could to bring her sister home.” Tristan was careful to keep his words even. “You raised two incredible daughters, Ishani.”
Ishani’s lower lip quivered, and a string of tears trickled from the corners of her eyes.
Zahra stepped forward and embraced her mother in a tight hug.
Tristan quietly set the knife down beside the cutting board and stepped into the hallway. He was surprised to find Cannoli on the other side of the threshold, hugging the doorframe and peeking inside.
Cannoli’s cheeks pinked, and she rapidly blinked her bright ruby eyes. “I-I just didn’t want to interrupt anything,” she whispered.
“I know. You’re not the type to eavesdrop.” Tristan grinned.
“Tristan… how do you do that?”
He blinked. “Do what?”
“You always know just what to say to make someone feel better,” Cannoli murmured. She looked into the kitchen and back at him. “Not just to me, but what you said to Ishani about Sanrai was so kind. Even though Sanrai was never nice to us. Not once.”
It was Tristan’s turn to blush. He ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms, realizing only a second later that it was a gesture he’d picked up from Matt. He sighed and shook his head. “I just try to put myself in their shoes.”
Cannoli cocked her head to the side and touched her chin. “Why would you want to wear their shoes?”
“No, not actually wear their shoes.” Tristan covered a laugh behind his hand. “What I mean is, I think about what I would want to hear in their situation. Like finding you here. You wouldn’t want me to call you a spy, right?”
“No. I would have felt awful if you thought that.”
“Exactly. It’s important to see things from the other person’s perspective, I think. No real magic to it.”
Cannoli rocked on the balls of her feet. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It takes a lot of practice.” He leaned to the side, seeing if he could catch Zahra’s eye.
Zahra locked his gaze and waved him into the kitchen. Ishani dabbed at her eyes with a cloth and inhaled a deep breath.
“Back to work, then?” Tristan asked Cannoli.
“Yes.” She touched his shoulder and flashed him a brilliant smile. “Thank you, Tristan. For the advice.”
“You’re welcome.” He cupped a hand over hers. “Though, a smile like that will make anyone feel better, Cannoli.”
Cannoli giggled and ducked into the kitchen.
“Apologies for my poor manners, Tristan,” Ishani said as he returned.
“Please, you have nothing to apologize for.” He shook his head. “Besides, cutting onyans makes everyone cry, right?”
Ishani laughed, her mood brightened, and they continued to prepare the afternoon meal.
They were able to serve it in good time, and the conversation was light-hearted and cordial. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits and laughed easily. Tristan was happy to enjoy a meal outside of the citadel. The experience was a lot closer to an intimate family gathering rather than the battle strategy style meetings that every meal in Rājadhānī brought with it.
Tristan finished eating before the others and procured his sketchbook from his [Cat Pack]. With the enchanted pen, he sketched a smiling Zahra. Something about her had changed since they first met. She now carried herself with a grace Tristan recognized in Naeemah, and the determined spark in her eyes had changed to one of excitement. She’d succeeded in her mission, and it showed.
Flipping the page, he made one more drawing. A piercing, ruthless gaze. Lips slanted in a dry, knowing smile. Dark tattoos carved into umber skin. Sanrai looked as alive in his sketch as she did in the shadow of the citadel.
As the others readied to leave, he handed the sketches to Ishani. “These are for you.”
Ishani accepted both pieces of parchment, her lips parting in a silent ‘o.’ Eyes wide, she looked at Tristan. “You protected my daughter, and now you grant me such beautiful gifts. Tristan, I have no way of repaying you.”
“You already have, Ishani.” Tristan touched her wrist. “May the wind carry your desires—”
“And the sun warm your back,” she finished for him, clutching the drawings to her chest. “You are truly Saoirse’s gift to this world, child.”
As they departed Madhyam, Tristan let himself believe Ishani’s words, just a little. He knew he’d need them in the coming weeks.
​
Zahra Pro Tip: Thank you, Tristan, for all you have done for my mother and for me. I will pay your kindness forward.
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Tired of proving worth, tired of endless fight,
The whispers and the doubts, like daggers in the night.
But amidst this bleakness, a truth he must see,
The path to liberation starts from within, key by key.
​
Oh, wanderer of sorrows, listen to my voice,
For within your struggle lies a chance to rejoice.
It's natural to desire trust, to yearn for a clean slate,
But dwelling on the past will only seal your fate.
​
Embrace self-improvement, let your spirit bloom,
Seek the light within, dispel the sense of gloom.
For in gratitude lies the power to heal,
To let the scars of the past gently reveal.
​
Acknowledge the good, the blessings in disguise,
For life holds beauty that can soothe weary eyes.
And as time's river flows, people may start to see,
The strength in your journey, the soul that longs to be free.
​
But hold not onto judgments, others' wary gaze,
For even without a registry, trust has its own maze.
Accept that some may falter, question or doubt,
And let it not define you, your worth shining throughout.
​
In moments of darkness, seek solace in peace,
Find solace in yoga, deep breaths, and release.
Meditate, be mindful, find the calm within,
Nurture your spirit, let your true self begin.
​
Open the door to knowledge, expand your horizons wide,
Through online courses, wisdom's wings you'll ride.
Find work from home, a chance to rebuild,
To rediscover purpose, a passion to be fulfilled.
​
In helping others, in a volunteer's embrace,
You'll find connections anew, love's radiant grace.
And within a sacred haven, a church where you belong,
Community's embrace can heal wounds, make you strong.
​
So, registered soul, let not despair take hold,
For your path to freedom is within, bold and untold.
Stay strong, keep moving, with a positive mind,
And watch as trust blossoms, with patience, you'll find.
​
Remember, the journey is one of self-discovery,
To rise above the stigma, to reclaim your story.
In time, with resilience, your spirit will shine,
A beacon of redemption, a life redefined.

I beg for kindness. I've been in a dark place for a long time.
TL;DR: Promotions at work over the years + being an individual contributor on the team has led to my 3rd (and worst) burnout at the same company over the course of about 11 years. I feel unhappy with every role change for different reasons. What can I do to accept being overwhelmed at work with the volume of work expected and stress with what I'm doing? Will I just always be unhappy no matter what?
If youre still here, this is super long, so please bear with me. It all leads to my question at the end. I have an MSW. I graduated back in 2012 and couldn't find a job since I didn't have post grad work experience. I took the first job I was interviewed for and offered - at a temp healthcare staffing company. I started in August 2012 as a Recruiter...then less than a year later, all within 2 months of each other, 3 of the 5 of the team members left. I took on more work willingly, but my role changed since I was promoted, etc. Additional duties included a phone sales kind of role which I hated, since I'm an introvert, plus I was managing people while being an individual contributor on the team with screening and hiring temps. We had a huge project May-August 2014 where I worked all the time and was on-call for the Temps I'd hired 24/7. I was burnt out by August 2014. I got an opportunity to switch roles at the same company as a Contracts administrator in August 2014. I switched and have been in the same department since, save for a brief hiatus at the end of 2021. In this role, I put together our company contract template for clients, reviewed and negotiated terms to Client agreements, etc. It was more analytical and not at all sales-y which was perfect for me. As time went on, my original Manager left, and she was replaced by the Assistant Manager at the time (who is now over me and a bunch of other people). She's still my boss to this day, and you cannot find a better boss. She's wonderful, supportive, fights for her team, she's easy to talk to, great to work for. She and I are very close. She is also my opposite - she's very extroverted, outspoken, and quick to think on her feet. She handles things being thrown on her plate with grace, although she may complain to me privately. 😉 COVID hit our company HARD - but in a good way. We grew exponentially due to helping staff soooo many nurses throughout the country. Things also changed drastically. 3 of the 4 of our executives - who I was close to and worked closely with - left, and they were replaced by baby VPs so that our executive team dynamic changed a lot. Now, the days of being able to review and negotiate contracts are gone (the goal is to sign sign sign so the salespeople can close their sales), as is the support we received at the exec level. Since COVID, we've been so much more busy, to the point that I have been overwhelmed at my job since sometime in 2020. I would regularly work 8a-9p, weekends, holidays. I would break down in tears regularly also. I crashed and burned in Oct and Nov 2021. I decided I wanted a complete career change, so I landed a job at an ABA clinic working with autistic kids and studied for and obtained an RBT certification. I resigned from my job in Contracts, although they begged me to stay. They offered me a promotion and more money, and they offered for me to take the last couple of months of the year off paid, but I was tired of always being super stressed and having no support from the execs, who we work very closely with. When I say no support, I mean nonresponsive to emails, requests for help, lack of knowledge and accountability, never being available etc. (When COVID hit all the executives were allowed to work completely remotely, and most of them moved out of state.) After I resigned, I started working at the ABA clinic, BUT - within 2 weeks I realized I hated it. I liked the kids, but the job was so monotonous and did not challenge my brain enough to keep me interested. I had to be over the top enthusiastic and extroverted with the kids which was draining to me. I also had no flexibility whatsoever- if my kid was sick, my husband had to be the one to work at home and I realized I'd never be able to get off work to attend any of her school functions, which is very important to me. I let the ABA clinic know that I was sorry, but the job was not the right fit. I also asked my old boss if I could possibly come back. She told me in confidence that the executives had a meeting and agreed they needed to be more supportive to our department and be available, so that made it more positive to go back. I'd also have occasional remote work flexibility, able to attend kid's school stuff, and I could use my brain. It just seemed like the grass was greener on that side. I was welcomed back with the promotion and pay raise offered when I'd resigned. Well...since I returned at the beginning of 2022, I've managed a team of 5. I remain an individual contributor on the team as well, so I do the same job as several others + Manager duties, tons of meetings, etc. If COVID seemed bad, how I feel now is no comparison. I need about 16 hours in each workday to get done everything I need to do in between meetings now. I have started having to work most nights from about 10pm-1am just to keep up with my day to day stuff. As a disclaimer, I don't like working outside of work hours when my kid is around. I get too focused and I'm only half focused on her, and I get grouchy due to stress. I still break down in tears regularly, but usually on the way home from work. When I walk up to the building each morning, I feel like a heavy weight settles on my chest and I have to mentally prepare myself for the crap I'm going to have to deal with that day. I work with a lot of salespeople now, and I hate being a prime factor in them closing their sale (because they promise the client they'll get a contract over to them same day). When I can sleep at night, I've started having nightmares about work, where I freak out because I forgot something and wake up panicked. There are days I just want to get up from my desk chair, walk out, and never return. I also had something personal happen in my family in December that has affected my mental health drastically. I did seek therapy for a while for it, but I just didn't have the time to spend a couple of hours in session each week or text with my therapist....it became something else I fell behind on which made things worse for me, so I terminated the relationship. I did talk to my wonderful boss about how I feel overwhelmed all the time, and she wants to keep me, so we set a plan in motion to restructure duties in our department. It's been needed for a long time anyway. We'd talked about it in 2022 but didn't follow through with it. But now, I don't know if I'll be happy JUST managing people! OH MY GOODNESS....ALL of that to say...am I just destined to be unhappy, no matter what my job is? What in the heck is wrong with me? Why do I let the work stress get to me so badly? I know everyone has stress about work, how do you not want to leave your jobs and find something different? How can I do better?

Can someone help read my crash log idk where to even begin
[00:00:00]:
System Memory:

Memory Load: 59% Available Physical Memory: 3273m/8121m Available Page File: 7786m/17337m Available Virtual Memory: 134213455m/134217727m Available Extended Virtual Memory: 0m 

[00:00:00]:
Process Memory:

Peak Working Set Size: 32m Working Set Size: 32m Quota Peak Page Pool Usage: 252k Quota Page Pool Usage: 250k Quota Peak Non Paged Pool Usage:17k Quota Non Paged Pool Usage: 17k Page File Usage: 6m Peak Page File Usage: 6m 

[00:00:00]: PersistRootStorage is now APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe
[00:00:00]: Starting Up
[00:00:00]: Version: 556225
[00:00:00]: Current time: Mon May 29 23:10:21 2023
​
[00:00:00]: Don't Starve Together: 556225 WIN32_STEAM
[00:00:00]: Build Date: 1984
[00:00:00]: Mode: 64-bit
[00:00:00]: Parsing command line
[00:00:00]: Command Line Arguments:
[00:00:00]: Initializing distribution platform
[00:00:00]: Initializing Minidump handler
[00:00:00]: ....Done
[00:00:00]: Steam AppBuildID: 11192167
[00:00:00]: ....Done
[00:00:00]: PersistUserStorage is now APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe188664448/
[00:00:00]: Fixing DPI
[00:00:00]: ...Done
[00:00:00]: THREAD - started 'GAClient' (7104)
[00:00:00]: CurlRequestManager::ClientThread::Main()
[00:00:00]: ProfileIndex:2.88
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/klump.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/shaders.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/fonts.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/anim_dynamic.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/bigportraits.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/images.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: Mounting file system databundles/scripts.zip successful.
[00:00:00]: THREAD - started 'IC' (3404)
[00:00:00]: Texture Streaming: DISABLED
[00:00:00]: Texture Streaming: DISABLED
[00:00:00]: Threaded Renderer: DISABLED
[00:00:00]: [Connect] PendingConnection::Reset(true)
[00:00:00]: Platform: 1
[00:00:00]: Network tick rate: U=15(2), D=0
[00:00:00]: Authorized application D:\Steam\steamapps\common\Don't Starve Together\bin64\dontstarve_steam_x64.exe is enabled in the firewall.
[00:00:00]: WindowsFirewall - Application already authorized
[00:00:00]: could not load ping_cache
[00:00:00]: THREAD - started 'StreamInput' (7232)
[00:00:00]: Offline user ID: OU_76561198148930176
[00:00:00]: Cached userid loaded:
[00:00:00]: SteamID: 76561198148930176
[00:00:00]: HardwareStats:
OS
name Microsoft Windows 10 Home
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platformSpecific SP 0.0
architecture 64-bit
CPU
clockSpeed 2904
name Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-10400F CPU @ 2.90GHz
manufacturer GenuineIntel
numCores 6
features SSE,SSE2,SSE3,SSSE3,SSE41,SSE42,AVX
RAM
megsOfRam 8192
GPU
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videoModeDescription 1920 x 1080 x 4294967296 colors
name NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 SUPER
driverVersion 31.0.15.1694
driverDate 20220721000000.000000-000
refreshRate 60
​
[00:00:00]: cGame::InitializeOnMainThread
[00:00:00]: WindowManager::Initialize
[00:00:00]: CreateWindow: Requesting 1920,1080 - 5/6/5 - -1/-1/-1 - 0
[00:00:00]: CreateEGLContext: 12 configs found
[00:00:00]: 0: 8/8/8 - 0/ 0/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 1: 8/8/8 - 0/16/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 2: 8/8/8 - 0/24/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 3: 8/8/8 - 0/24/ 8 - 0
[00:00:00]: 4: 5/5/5 - 0/ 0/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 5: 5/5/5 - 0/16/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 6: 5/5/5 - 0/24/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 7: 5/5/5 - 0/24/ 8 - 0
[00:00:00]: 8: 8/8/8 - 8/ 0/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 9: 8/8/8 - 8/16/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 10: 8/8/8 - 8/24/ 0 - 0
[00:00:00]: 11: 8/8/8 - 8/24/ 8 - 0
[00:00:00]: WindowManager::SetFullscreen(0, 1920, 1080, 60)
[00:00:00]: GLInfo
[00:00:00]: ~~~~~~
[00:00:00]: GL_VENDOR: Google Inc.
[00:00:00]: GL_RENDERER: ANGLE (NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 SUPER)
[00:00:00]: GL_VERSION: OpenGL ES 2.0 (ANGLE 1.0.0.2249)
[00:00:00]: GL_SHADING_LANGUAGE_VERSION: OpenGL ES GLSL ES 1.00 (ANGLE 1.0.0.2249)
[00:00:00]: OpenGL extensions (19, 19):
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_depth_texture
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_framebuffer_blit
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_framebuffer_multisample
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_instanced_arrays
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_pack_reverse_row_order
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_texture_compression_dxt3
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_texture_compression_dxt5
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_texture_usage
[00:00:00]: GL_ANGLE_translated_shader_source
[00:00:00]: GL_EXT_read_format_bgra
[00:00:00]: GL_EXT_robustness
[00:00:00]: GL_EXT_texture_compression_dxt1
[00:00:00]: GL_EXT_texture_format_BGRA8888
[00:00:00]: GL_EXT_texture_storage
[00:00:00]: GL_OES_get_program_binary
[00:00:00]: GL_OES_packed_depth_stencil
[00:00:00]: GL_OES_rgb8_rgba8
[00:00:00]: GL_OES_standard_derivatives
[00:00:00]: GL_OES_texture_npot
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_TEXTURE_SIZE = 16384
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_TEXTURE_IMAGE_UNITS = 16
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_RENDERBUFFER_SIZE = 16384
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_VIEWPORT_DIMS = 16384, 16384
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_VARYING_VECTORS = 10
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_VERTEX_ATTRIBS = 16
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_VERTEX_UNIFORM_VECTORS = 254
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_VERTEX_TEXTURE_IMAGE_UNITS = 4
[00:00:00]: GL_MAX_FRAGMENT_UNIFORM_VECTORS = 221
[00:00:00]: THREAD - started 'WindowsInputManager' (13776)
[00:00:00]: 4 compressed texture formats
[00:00:00]: texture format 0x83f0
[00:00:00]: texture format 0x83f1
[00:00:00]: texture format 0x83f2
[00:00:00]: texture format 0x83f3
[00:00:01]: Renderer initialize: Okay
[00:00:01]: AnimManager initialize: Okay
[00:00:01]: Buffers initialize: Okay
[00:00:01]: cDontStarveGame::DoGameSpecificInitialize()
[00:00:01]: GameSpecific initialize: Okay
[00:00:01]: cGame::StartPlaying
[00:00:01]: AppVersion::GetArchitecture() x64
[00:00:01]: LOADING LUA
[00:00:01]: DoLuaFile scripts/main.lua
[00:00:01]: DoLuaFile loading buffer scripts/main.lua
[00:00:02]: taskgrouplist: default Together
[00:00:02]: taskgrouplist: classic Classic
[00:00:02]: taskgrouplist: cave_default Underground
[00:00:02]: taskgrouplist: lavaarena_taskset The Forge
[00:00:02]: taskgrouplist: quagmire_taskset The Gorge
[00:00:02]: Running main.lua
[00:00:02]: loaded modindex
[00:00:02]: Event data unavailable: lavaarena_event_servelavaarena_achievement_quest_defs
[00:00:14]: LOADING LUA SUCCESS
[00:00:14]: PlayerDeaths could not load morgue
[00:00:14]: PlayerHistory could not load player_history
[00:00:14]: ServerPreferences could not load server_preferences
[00:00:14]: ConsoleScreenSettings could not load consolescreen
[00:00:14]: bloom_enabled true
[00:00:14]: EnableShadeRenderer: true
[00:00:14]: loaded shardsaveindex
[00:00:14]: OnFilesLoaded()
[00:00:14]: OnUpdatePurchaseStateComplete
[00:00:14]: Klump load on boot started.
[00:00:14]: Klump files loaded: 0
[00:00:16]: Load FE
[00:00:20]: Load FE: done
[00:00:20]: THREAD - started 'FilesExistAsyncThread' (14432)
[00:00:20]: FilesExistAsyncThread started (22365 files)...
[00:00:20]: OnLoadPermissionList: APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe188664448/client_save/blocklist.txt (Failure)
[00:00:20]: OnLoadPermissionList: APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe188664448/client_save/adminlist.txt (Failure)
[00:00:20]: OnLoadUserIdList: APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe188664448/client_save/whitelist.txt (Failure)
[00:00:20]: [MOTD] Downloading info from https://motd.klei.com/motd.json/?game=dst&platform=STEAM&locale=US&lang=english&version=556225
[00:00:20]: Check for write access: TRUE
[00:00:20]: Check for read access: TRUE
[00:00:20]: Available disk space for save files: 12404 MB
[00:00:20]: ModIndex: Load sequence finished successfully.
[00:00:20]: Reset() returning
[00:00:21]: FMOD detected a new audio device and set audio to the current default device.
[00:00:22]: [MOTD] Done Loading.
[00:00:22]: Do AutoLogin
[00:00:22]: [Steam] Auth Session Ticket requested...
[00:00:22]: [Steam] Got Auth Session Ticket
[00:00:23]: [200] Account Communication Success (3)
[00:00:23]: Logging in as KU_NPndrG5T
[00:00:24]: There is no active event to get the status of.
[00:00:24]: could not load pending_keyvalues_prod
[00:00:25]: loaded inventory_cache_prod
[00:00:25]: using inventory state token from cached file
[00:00:25]: saved APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe188664448/client_save/inventory_cache_prod
[00:00:25]: saved APP:Klei//DoNotStarveTogethe188664448/client_save/inventory_cache_prod_sig
[00:00:25]: ... FilesExistAsyncThread complete
[00:00:25]: [Workshop] ItemQuery got this many results: 0, matching: 0
[00:00:25]: [Workshop] ModQuery got 0 results
[00:00:25]: [Workshop] ItemQuery finished all queries, moving to download phase
[00:00:25]: [Workshop] ItemQuery finished downloading everything
[00:00:45]: Getting top mod details...
[00:00:45]: Frontend-Unloading mod 'all'.
[00:00:45]: GOT top mod details...50
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ItemQuery got this many results: 0, matching: 0
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ModQuery got 0 results
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ItemQuery finished all queries, moving to download phase
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ItemQuery finished downloading everything
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ItemQuery got this many results: 0, matching: 0
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ModQuery got 0 results
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ItemQuery finished all queries, moving to download phase
[00:00:45]: [Workshop] ItemQuery finished downloading everything
[00:00:51]: Network tick rate: U=15(2), D=0
[00:00:51]: [Workshop] CancelDownloads for all pending downloads
[00:00:51]: About to start a server with the following settings:
[00:00:51]: Dedicated: false
[00:00:51]: Online: true
[00:00:51]: Passworded: true
[00:00:51]: ServerPort: 10999
[00:00:51]: SteamAuthPort: 8766
[00:00:51]: SteamMasterServerPort: 27016
[00:00:51]: ClanID: false
[00:00:51]: ClanOnly: false
[00:00:51]: ClanAdmin: false
[00:00:51]: LanOnly: false
[00:00:51]: FriendsOnly: true
[00:00:51]: EnableAutosaver: true
[00:00:51]: EncodeUserPath: true
[00:00:51]: PVP: false
[00:00:51]: MaxPlayers: 2
[00:00:51]: GameMode: survival
[00:00:51]: OverridenDNS:
[00:00:51]: PauseWhenEmpty: true
[00:00:51]: IdleTimeout: 1800s
[00:00:51]: VoteEnabled: false
[00:00:51]: InternetBroadcasting: true
[00:00:51]: [Warning] Could not confirm port 10999 is open in the firewall.
[00:00:51]: Online Server Started on port: 10999
[00:00:51]: SUCCESS: Loaded modoverrides.lua
[00:00:51]: Found a level data override file with these contents:
[00:00:51]: K: desc V: The standard Don't Starve experience.
[00:00:51]: K: hideminimap V: false
[00:00:51]: K: id V: SURVIVAL_TOGETHER
[00:00:51]: K: location V: forest
[00:00:51]: K: max_playlist_position V: 999
[00:00:51]: K: min_playlist_position V: 0
[00:00:51]: K: name V: Survival
[00:00:51]: K: numrandom_set_pieces V: 4
[00:00:51]: K: override_level_string V: false
[00:00:51]: K: overrides V: table: 000000005DD66B50
[00:00:51]: K: alternatehunt V: default
[00:00:51]: K: angrybees V: default
[00:00:51]: K: antliontribute V: default
[00:00:51]: K: autumn V: default
[00:00:51]: K: bananabush_portalrate V: default
[00:00:51]: K: basicresource_regrowth V: none
[00:00:51]: K: bats_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: bearger V: default
[00:00:51]: K: beefalo V: default
[00:00:51]: K: beefaloheat V: default
[00:00:51]: K: beequeen V: default
[00:00:51]: K: bees V: default
[00:00:51]: K: bees_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: berrybush V: default
[00:00:51]: K: birds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: boons V: default
[00:00:51]: K: branching V: default
[00:00:51]: K: brightmarecreatures V: default
[00:00:51]: K: bunnymen_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: butterfly V: default
[00:00:51]: K: buzzard V: default
[00:00:51]: K: cactus V: default
[00:00:51]: K: cactus_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: carrot V: default
[00:00:51]: K: carrots_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: catcoon V: default
[00:00:51]: K: catcoons V: default
[00:00:51]: K: chess V: default
[00:00:51]: K: cookiecutters V: default
[00:00:51]: K: crabking V: default
[00:00:51]: K: crow_carnival V: default
[00:00:51]: K: darkness V: default
[00:00:51]: K: day V: default
[00:00:51]: K: deciduousmonster V: default
[00:00:51]: K: deciduoustree_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: deerclops V: default
[00:00:51]: K: dragonfly V: default
[00:00:51]: K: dropeverythingondespawn V: default
[00:00:51]: K: evergreen_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: extrastartingitems V: default
[00:00:51]: K: eyeofterror V: default
[00:00:51]: K: fishschools V: default
[00:00:51]: K: flint V: default
[00:00:51]: K: flowers V: default
[00:00:51]: K: flowers_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: frograin V: default
[00:00:51]: K: frogs V: default
[00:00:51]: K: fruitfly V: default
[00:00:51]: K: ghostenabled V: always
[00:00:51]: K: ghostsanitydrain V: always
[00:00:51]: K: gnarwail V: default
[00:00:51]: K: goosemoose V: default
[00:00:51]: K: grass V: default
[00:00:51]: K: grassgekkos V: default
[00:00:51]: K: hallowed_nights V: default
[00:00:51]: K: has_ocean V: true
[00:00:51]: K: healthpenalty V: always
[00:00:51]: K: hound_mounds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: houndmound V: default
[00:00:51]: K: hounds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: hunger V: default
[00:00:51]: K: hunt V: default
[00:00:51]: K: keep_disconnected_tiles V: true
[00:00:51]: K: klaus V: default
[00:00:51]: K: krampus V: default
[00:00:51]: K: layout_mode V: LinkNodesByKeys
[00:00:51]: K: lessdamagetaken V: none
[00:00:51]: K: liefs V: default
[00:00:51]: K: lightcrab_portalrate V: default
[00:00:51]: K: lightning V: default
[00:00:51]: K: lightninggoat V: default
[00:00:51]: K: loop V: default
[00:00:51]: K: lureplants V: default
[00:00:51]: K: malbatross V: default
[00:00:51]: K: marshbush V: default
[00:00:51]: K: merm V: default
[00:00:51]: K: merms V: default
[00:00:51]: K: meteorshowers V: default
[00:00:51]: K: meteorspawner V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moles V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moles_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: monkeytail_portalrate V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_berrybush V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_bullkelp V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_carrot V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_fissure V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_fruitdragon V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_hotspring V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_rock V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_sapling V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_spider V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_spiders V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_starfish V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_tree V: default
[00:00:51]: K: moon_tree_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: mosquitos V: default
[00:00:51]: K: mushroom V: default
[00:00:51]: K: mutated_hounds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: no_joining_islands V: true
[00:00:51]: K: no_wormholes_to_disconnected_tiles V: true
[00:00:51]: K: ocean_bullkelp V: default
[00:00:51]: K: ocean_seastack V: ocean_default
[00:00:51]: K: ocean_shoal V: default
[00:00:51]: K: ocean_waterplant V: ocean_default
[00:00:51]: K: ocean_wobsterden V: default
[00:00:51]: K: palmcone_seed_portalrate V: default
[00:00:51]: K: palmconetree V: default
[00:00:51]: K: palmconetree_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: penguins V: default
[00:00:51]: K: penguins_moon V: default
[00:00:51]: K: perd V: default
[00:00:51]: K: petrification V: default
[00:00:51]: K: pigs V: default
[00:00:51]: K: pigs_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: pirateraids V: default
[00:00:51]: K: ponds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: portal_spawnrate V: default
[00:00:51]: K: portalresurection V: none
[00:00:51]: K: powder_monkey_portalrate V: default
[00:00:51]: K: prefabswaps_start V: default
[00:00:51]: K: rabbits V: default
[00:00:51]: K: rabbits_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: reeds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: reeds_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: resettime V: default
[00:00:51]: K: rifts_enabled V: default
[00:00:51]: K: rifts_frequency V: default
[00:00:51]: K: roads V: default
[00:00:51]: K: rock V: default
[00:00:51]: K: rock_ice V: default
[00:00:51]: K: saltstack_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: sapling V: default
[00:00:51]: K: season_start V: default
[00:00:51]: K: seasonalstartingitems V: default
[00:00:51]: K: shadowcreatures V: default
[00:00:51]: K: sharks V: default
[00:00:51]: K: spawnmode V: fixed
[00:00:51]: K: spawnprotection V: default
[00:00:51]: K: specialevent V: default
[00:00:51]: K: spider_warriors V: default
[00:00:51]: K: spiderqueen V: default
[00:00:51]: K: spiders V: default
[00:00:51]: K: spiders_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: spring V: default
[00:00:51]: K: squid V: default
[00:00:51]: K: stageplays V: default
[00:00:51]: K: start_location V: default
[00:00:51]: K: summer V: default
[00:00:51]: K: summerhounds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: tallbirds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: task_set V: default
[00:00:51]: K: temperaturedamage V: default
[00:00:51]: K: tentacles V: default
[00:00:51]: K: terrariumchest V: default
[00:00:51]: K: touchstone V: default
[00:00:51]: K: trees V: default
[00:00:51]: K: tumbleweed V: default
[00:00:51]: K: twiggytrees_regrowth V: default
[00:00:51]: K: walrus V: default
[00:00:51]: K: walrus_setting V: default
[00:00:51]: K: wasps V: default
[00:00:51]: K: weather V: default
[00:00:51]: K: wildfires V: default
[00:00:51]: K: winter V: default
[00:00:51]: K: winterhounds V: default
[00:00:51]: K: winters_feast V: default
[00:00:51]: K: wobsters V: default
[00:00:51]: K: world_size V: default
[00:00:51]: K: wormhole_prefab V: wormhole
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_beefalo V: default
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_bunnyman V: default
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_carrat V: default
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_catcoon V: default
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_gobbler V: default
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_pig V: default
[00:00:51]: K: year_of_the_varg V: default
[00:00:51]: K: playstyle V: survival
[00:00:51]: K: random_set_pieces V: table: 000000005DD66380
[00:00:51]: K: 1 V: Sculptures_2
[00:00:51]: K: 2 V: Sculptures_3
[00:00:51]: K: 3 V: Sculptures_4
[00:00:51]: K: 4 V: Sculptures_5
[00:00:51]: K: 5 V: Chessy_1
[00:00:51]: K: 6 V: Chessy_2
[00:00:51]: K: 7 V: Chessy_3
[00:00:51]: K: 8 V: Chessy_4
[00:00:51]: K: 9 V: Chessy_5
[00:00:51]: K: 10 V: Chessy_6
[00:00:51]: K: 11 V: Maxwell1
[00:00:51]: K: 12 V: Maxwell2
[00:00:51]: K: 13 V: Maxwell3
[00:00:51]: K: 14 V: Maxwell4
[00:00:51]: K: 15 V: Maxwell6
[00:00:51]: K: 16 V: Maxwell7
[00:00:51]: K: 17 V: Warzone_1
[00:00:51]: K: 18 V: Warzone_2
[00:00:51]: K: 19 V: Warzone_3
[00:00:51]: K: required_prefabs V: table: 000000005DD66BA0
[00:00:51]: K: 1 V: multiplayer_portal
[00:00:51]: K: required_setpieces V: table: 000000005DD66BF0
[00:00:51]: K: 1 V: Sculptures_1
[00:00:51]: K: 2 V: Maxwell5
[00:00:51]: K: settings_desc V: The standard Don't Starve experience.
[00:00:51]: K: settings_id V: SURVIVAL_TOGETHER
[00:00:51]: K: settings_name V: Survival
[00:00:51]: K: substitutes V: table: 000000005DD66C40
[00:00:51]: K: version V: 4
[00:00:51]: K: worldgen_desc V: The standard Don't Starve experience.
[00:00:51]: K: worldgen_id V: SURVIVAL_TOGETHER
[00:00:51]: K: worldgen_name V: Survival
[00:00:51]: Loaded and applied level data override from ../leveldataoverride.lua
[00:00:51]: Overwriting savedata with level data file.
[00:00:51]: Not applying world gen overrides.
[00:00:51]: Collecting garbage...
[00:00:51]: lua_gc took 0.06 seconds
[00:00:51]: ~ShardLuaProxy()
[00:00:51]: ~cEventLeaderboardProxy()
[00:00:51]: ~ItemServerLuaProxy()
[00:00:51]: ~InventoryLuaProxy()
[00:00:51]: ~NetworkLuaProxy()
[00:00:51]: ~SimLuaProxy()
[00:00:51]: [Workshop] CancelDownloads for all pending downloads
[00:00:51]: lua_close took 0.06 seconds
[00:00:51]: ReleaseAll
[00:00:51]: ReleaseAll Finished
[00:00:51]: cGame::StartPlaying
[00:00:51]: AppVersion::GetArchitecture() x64
[00:00:51]: LOADING LUA
[00:00:51]: DoLuaFile scripts/main.lua
[00:00:51]: DoLuaFile loading buffer scripts/main.lua
[00:00:51]: taskgrouplist: default Together
[00:00:51]: taskgrouplist: classic Classic
[00:00:51]: taskgrouplist: cave_default Underground
[00:00:51]: taskgrouplist: lavaarena_taskset The Forge
[00:00:51]: taskgrouplist: quagmire_taskset The Gorge
[00:00:51]: Running main.lua
[00:00:51]: loaded modindex
[00:00:51]: ModIndex: Beginning normal load sequence.
[00:00:51]: SUCCESS: Loaded modoverrides.lua
[00:00:52]: Event data unavailable: lavaarena_event_servelavaarena_achievement_quest_defs
[00:00:52]: LOADING LUA SUCCESS
[00:00:52]: PlayerDeaths could not load morgue
[00:00:52]: PlayerHistory could not load player_history
[00:00:52]: ServerPreferences could not load server_preferences
[00:00:52]: ConsoleScreenSettings could not load consolescreen
[00:00:52]: bloom_enabled true
[00:00:52]: EnableShadeRenderer: true
[00:00:52]: OnFilesLoaded()
[00:00:52]: OnUpdatePurchaseStateComplete
[00:00:52]: Loading world: session/4C1A51003C00F8E0/0000000002
[00:00:52]: Save file is at version 5.141
[00:00:52]: Klump load on boot started.
[00:00:52]: Klump files loaded: 0
[00:00:52]: Unload FE
[00:00:52]: Unload FE done
[00:00:54]: LOAD BE

By cursed, I mean whenever you have these items/gear, nothing goes well for you for no discernable reason
For example, for me and my mate its been a long running thing that orange and red boonie hats a cursed, because when we have them, we die, sometimes immediately, sometimes after long stretches of time without finding anyone, sometimes we equip the hats, then round a corner and get shot, other times we put them on and then slowly starve to death, its almost like the devs pulled a prank and hotfixed out all sources of food except fishing, but heres the kicker, suddenly, we cant find the stuff we need in order to fish
More recently, I have added the USG to this list, because its one of my fav guns simply for looks, I cant speak for its performance, because the second I pick it up, it curses me so that the very next person I see, is going to kill me, I could be having the best run, lots of kills, even with crappy guns, surviving hordes of angry zeds, but I pick up that USG, all over, I dont even think its just me, another player just beat me to the prison, he'd cleared out the bunkers, I spotted him and scared him off with a couple poorly placed shots (Middle of the night and the SSG scope is ass in the dark), I look for him breifly but decide to just run to the main building, I finish looting and start making my way out, I hear him and set up an ambush, I manage to gun him down with my suppressed M-lock despite him having a pump and a blaze, what do I find in his bag, a badly damaged Usg with no ammo or mag, I take it, log on next day, find a gun cleaning kit, mag and ammo for USG, I clean it up, feeling right chuffed, I meander over to the bunkers, night time again, crouch walk into bunker when suddenly "You are dead", I done got got by a bloody corner goblin, minutes after getting a working Usg...
Anyone else have a list of items they refuse to pick up after a string of shitty situations?

It’s been months now I’ve cautiously been entertaining a correlation of nights I take Advil (usually every 6 hours during the first few days of my period) and really solid sleep.
Well, the past 3 nights, I purposefully took 1 extra strength liquid gel before bed and sure enough, fell asleep and woke up, no lie, exactly 8 hours feeling, like, ready to get up?? (Normally mornings are really hard for me, very fatigued, even if I get a good sleep via some other supplement/medication.)
This is not good in a way… I can’t take Advil every day.
But is it good in the sense that it directs me in the realm of brain inflammation?
I quit sugar a few years ago because it was causing my chronic back pain to flare, more so when stressed. I do consume it in 78%+ dark chocolate, fruit, low cal yogurt, pasta, etc. I try to keep a serving under 10g of sugar. So it’s there but in small quantities.
What does this mean now? Ways I’ve looked at reducing inflammation over the years including consuming more anti-oxidants don’t seem to help but maybe I didn’t consume enough over a long enough period of time?
Cutting out out fried foods etc?
Open to ideas. Thanks!

All you people saying Maddie was the target because 1. Knife sheath was found beside her 2. He went to her room first 3. Could have potentially seen her at a Mad Greek and started stalking from then on
I would like to offer a different theory on why Kaylee could have been the target

1. If in fact he was stalking the girls, he would be obsessing over them everyday, checking their social media couple times everyday. He would know Kaylee would have moved out. He would know Kaylee was back in town by her social media posts. And thought this was the best opportunity to attack her and that’s why chose that night. Otherwise he could have picked any other night if it was Maddie. Infact there were 4 cars parked outside, which means there was higher chances of running into more people, yet he took the chance. Otherwise he could have picked other day where there was only Maddie’s car or fewer cars. Probably thought this was his last opportunity to attack Kaylee and went for it even though he knew there would be other people inside.
   
2. He could have very well gone to Kaylee’s room first, but found it empty, and then decided to check Maddie’s room and found her there. Maybe he did find Murphy in Kaylee’s room and woke him up, that’s why the barking.
   
3. Once he found them in the bed - either he couldn’t see who was who because of the darkness Or, he could have decided to get Maddie out of the way before attaching Kaylee brutally, Or he could have still attacked Kaylee first but just threw away the sheath, one of them kicked it over to Maddie’s side. We know Kaylee had significantly worse wounds compared to Maddie. My point is, we won’t know the order until the trial, when the reports will be released that can check blood trails and know the order of murder.
   

But BK picking this specific day when Kaylee was infact in town makes me believe she was the primary target.

Hello, I've been working on revising an old magic system to fit with a new story, and I wanted to get some feedback on if my system works well or not. It's a long one, but feel free to hit me with any questions/comments/criticisms about it! Please excuse the inconstent capitalization though, I'm working on it.
​
An Occultists’ Guide to Boundaries
All of reality is built on boundaries. A boundary is a metaphysical container for both the physical matter and the concepts defining an object. For example, imagine for a moment a ball sitting on a table. Now imagine an invisible skin, wrapped tightly around the entire surface area of the ball, encapsulating all the information and properties of the ball. Now imagine that invisible skin suddenly disappeared, leading the concepts that once filled it to just drift away. They might be infused into the table, making it ‘bright red’, or ‘round’. They could get into the air making it ‘bouncy’ or ‘safe for children ages 2+’. The stuff that makes the ball would still be around, but the ball itself wouldn't. For an object to exist, it must be distinct from the things around it. Without boundaries separating ‘thing’ from ‘thing’, the whole universe would be just one big ‘thing’.
This is the basis of Occult practices. Being an occultist starts with the manipulation of boundaries, as the space within them is where magic is performed. That is why, when an occultist begins their studies, the first power they gain is usually simple telekinesis, as manipulating the position of a boundary is good practice. We tend to call those who never move past that stage ‘espers’ or ‘psychics’ or something of the same effect, and even though they are just scratching the surface of what the occult can do, they can get to be fairly powerful.
A basic, widespread (but not universally applicable) law of boundaries is that they have a natural resistance to being manipulated, which is in most cases tied to the surface area of the object. An interesting application of this is that there is functionally no difference in trying to telekinetically move a cardboard box and a solid steel cube of the same size. However, when it comes to destroying a boundary, the difficulty of doing so is all in the ‘complexity’ (this is hard to define, but it will make more sense later) of the object. Stronger occultists will be able to destroy or create more complex phenomena at larger scales.
Since the creation, destruction, and manipulation of boundaries is a fundamental skill for occultists, many different exercises have been devised to help expand a beginning practitioner's skill in doing so. One popular one is trying to destroy the boundaries of small objects, such as playing cards or snack foods, and quickly capturing all the escaped concepts by creating a spherical boundary around them. This can lead to some delightfully non-euclidean objects, especially when you destroy and re-capture the concepts of two different objects into one boundary, but it is a very dangerous way to practice. One could end up not capturing the concepts in time and end up turning themselves ‘easily tearable’ or ‘appetizing to ants’ without the knowledge of how to reverse that.
The analogy of a weightlifter in training may be the most appropriate since an occultist’s ability will grow like a muscle over time, only one that doesn’t plateau in strength. But like any muscle, they will get tired if they go on too long, which will greatly increase their chances of causing an accident.
​
Reality and You
Reality is everything that is real. Every object, entity, or phenomenon that exists and is not fictional is a part of reality. If you can measure it, it's real. There aren’t very many other ways to describe this, but humans generally have a solid grasp of what is real and what is not due to being real themselves. However, not all parts of reality are equal.
All magic happens inside a boundary wherein reality is measurably degraded. There is a special, magical, and incredibly complex machine that can measure the ‘level’ of reality within a boundary. The baseline level, the level wherein everything that isn't the occult takes place, was set to be 10 on the Non-Reality Scale (the NRS for short), and anything below that is magic.
But why would one want to degrade reality? Hypothetically, when someone is pouring themselves a cup of water, they would prefer a fresh, clean glass, to one that hasn’t been washed in years. This is because they want to avoid contamination. Spellwork has the same idea, where to pour what they want into a boundary, the occultist first has to ‘wash’ everything they don’t want out.
That is not to say that less reality is always better. A reality that is too low level can mess with spellwork, or cause a dangerous accident if the boundary is flawed. This is because to complete the final step of the casting, one must reintegrate their degraded reality back to the baseline (that is, if they want anything more than an intangible illusion). The extent to which one would want to degrade reality fully depends on what they want to do with the boundary they are creating. For example, one did not want to use it for drinking, but it would be perfectly fine to use it to water a houseplant. And most people would not be bleaching out a clean cup before drinking from it, even if it has a bit of dust in it. In the same way, in most cases, an occultist does not need to purge absolutely everything from their boundary, and will instead want to selectively degrade reality to a certain level.
​
Mana, the Soul, and Concepts
A Concept is the abstract idea of the matter within a boundary. For example, the boundary of the ball I described earlier contains the physical matter of the ball, but it also contains the Concept of the ball. The Concept can be imagined as an index of every piece of information about the ball, with each piece being called an Attribute. Attributes of the ball’s Concept could include its weight, size, bounciness, flammability, or any other property that one could measure from the ball. Being a Concept and being an Attribute are not mutually exclusive, and it is relative to what the caster is referring to at the moment. Technically, all Concepts are Attributes of the Universe, which contains everything, so it's best to think of each Concept as a part of a greater whole, which is in turn made of smaller parts. With this comes the idea that a concept cannot be created or destroyed (of course, there are those annoying exceptions), only constructed and deconstructed.
The basis of spellwork is simple. Create a boundary, degrade its reality, fill it with a bunch of Attributes to form the Concept of the phenomena you want to create, reintegrate reality, and presto, you have a spell. This process is fundamentally the same for most spellcraft, making a well-practiced occultist very versatile. However, it is the complexity within each of these steps that requires research to understand, skill to navigate, and training to pull off.
Every living thing has a boundary, and every living thing has a Concept. Except for living things, we tend to call the Concept a ‘soul’. There is no real difference, and there is a constant debate over what has a soul. Bacteria are generally deemed soulless, robots and magically animated constructs have been rhetorically argued to have souls, and there is debate around what stage of birth or death does the soul of a corpse become just a Concept. But it is generally agreed that living humans have a soul, and within the soul, there is an Attribute called mana. Mana is the fuel that is required to perform anything to do with the occult. Manipulating boundaries, degrading and reintegrating reality, and working with concepts all require mana.
Almost everyone starts with a very low amount of mana. Most humans only have enough to perform small miracles in moments of great stress, such as a parent being able to lift a car to save their child or a firefighter obtaining enhanced perception in a burning building. Mana, however, can be grown over time like a muscle. After continuous depletion of one's mana reserves, the maximum amount that can be ‘refilled’ during rest increases.
There is a widespread standard for measuring how much mana one has. It requires a half-inch diameter, clear glass marble enchanted with a Concept that causes it to output light in a manner directly proportional to the amount of mana poured into it. An occultist can push as much mana as they can into it and measure the irradiance of the light produced by the marble with a photometer to find their maximum output.
Besides mana, the soul also contains Attributes for one's familiarity with other Concepts. Concept familiarity determines how well an occultist can summon, read, or build a concept. Familiarity is gained in several different ways. For example, an occultist skilled in the art of pyromancy may be a grad student who’s spent many sleepless nights studying thermodynamics and exothermic reactions, a person from an icy village who spent a lot of time near the fireplace as a child, or a serial arsonist who thinks fire is incredibly beautiful. All of these people would be familiar with the Concept of fire. In other words, research, experience, and passion are all equally valid ways to gain familiarity with a concept.
There are three ways to get a concept into a boundary. The first way is to summon it, using one's will to draw in a concept and use it directly during spellwork. This is generally considered the best method for any occult performance for various reasons, as its only real downside is that it requires a very high level of familiarity with the Concept one is trying to summon. However, it requires no material components to pull off and does not produce any backlash (an important idea that will be explained later). This is why most mages choose to spend their life within one field of similar Concepts, increasing their familiarity with a small group of Concepts, trading some versatility to be able to pull off Concept summoning efficiently.
On a side note, there is the popular idea of the ‘four elements’ system of magic. While the idea of earth, air, fire, and water being base elements of the universe has no real truth to it, the fact that they are things one commonly interacts with and are fairly visual makes them perfect for summoning.
The next way to obtain a Concept is through reading. This method takes an object that has a desired Concept or Attributes, destroys its boundary, and adds said Concept or Attributes into the spell. Reading allows an occultist to work with a Concept that they aren’t familiar with, although they should have some level of familiarity if they want to work with it safely. Unfortunately, reading requires you to destroy a material component and leads to backlash. The result is that spellwork done with Concept reading needs more preparation than summoning, and may require rare or expensive materials. The amount of material destroyed, however, does not matter when trying to read a Concept, so long as it is enough that the occultist can reasonably focus on it. For example, if one was trying to read the Concept of gold, the casting will be the same with a few specks of the stuff as with an entire bar.
The final method, Concept building, is the least. Building requires a mage to take several different Concepts and use them as Attributes to construct an entirely new Concept. For example, the Concept of ‘the superpower of human flight’, which doesn’t exist naturally, could be built using the Concepts of ‘weightlessness’ and ‘propulsion’ and ‘human will’. Building has all the drawbacks of reading compounded, so it is very rarely used and requires great skill. But the power to make fiction reality, even more so than any other type of magic, is incredibly appealing, and many occultists spend their entire life trying to bring a permanent concept into the world.
Concepts are not completely objective. For example, a modern person likely associates the color black with things like death, darkness, or despair. In ancient Egypt, however, the color had a more positive connotation, being associated with fertility and festival, since black soil, not white, is where one could grow the crops. Concepts work similarly, and different ones can have different meanings to different people from different cultures and backgrounds. It is completely unknown how modern magic continues to work with so many different ways of looking at the same Concept.
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And Now for the Bad: Backlash
Once again, imagine a ball sitting on a table. Remember how I said destroying its boundary could lead to the table and air around it lead to the table and air around it obtaining some of its properties, or as we now know to call them, Attributes? This is also how I described some of the side effects of improperly doing the ill-advised boundary exercise from the boundary section.
Both of those are simplified examples of backlash.
When an occultist performs a Concept reading, they are picking out the Attributes they want and exposing the rest to outside reality. If left uncontained, the rest of the Attributes will diffuse into other nearby boundaries, giving the caster’s surroundings (and likely the caster themself) properties that they likely do not want. This is a backlash. Worse, as the free Attributes look for a new boundary, they randomly and chaotically deconstruct themselves into simpler Attributes (for example, the attribute ‘fire’ may deconstruct into ‘heat’ and ‘light’), multiplying the number of Concepts diffusing over time, increasing the scale and chaos of the event.
The resistance of an object's boundary to being destroyed scales somewhat on the complexity of the Concept it contains, and therefore, more complex objects that would cause bigger backlashes are naturally harder (as in they require more mana) to destroy. This acts as a sort of natural safeguard for the occult, stopping just any aspiring wizard from accidentally rending cities uninhabitable or wiping large swaths of land off the map.
Be they geometric shapes or runes in an unknown language, the main purpose of a magic circle (or any shape for that matter) is to contain and safely dispose of backlash. Over time, occultists have found ways to take common aspects and successfully break them down into their most harmless components, allowing them to be dissipated safely, and history has provided a good base for the backlash of just about any spell to be properly contained, with a bit of research. A very skilled occultist will be able to properly command backlash to harness it and enhance their spells, controlling the decay of Concepts to find simpler Attributes needed for the main spell or to set off smaller secondary spells to support the original.
Another way of dissipating backlash is with somatic action, or using one’s body in the same fashion as a magic circle. The danger of this should be clear, but it allows the caster to dissipate backlash without having to prepare a magic circle.
​
Reintegration and Types
The last part of any occult spellwork is normally the easiest. You just have to stop trying. For sorceries and rituals, firing off a spell is just like firing a bow. If creating a spell boundary is notching the arrow, and gathering Concepts is pulling back and aiming, then the final casting is simply letting the arrow fly as it will. There is some skill involved with the speed and grace of an occultist's mental disengagement, but for the most part, reality itself will do most of the job as it brings one's Concepts back to a level 10 NRS and makes the phenomenon ‘real’. This means that after one creates their fireball, all they have to do is bring it into existence and define its parameters, and throwing it costs no extra mana on your part. That also means that a fireball, once thrown, cannot be altered or taken back unless one creates a completely new boundary to counter it.
I mentioned sorceries and rituals. Those are two of the three ‘types’ (not to be confused with ‘schools’) of the occult.
The first is sorcery, the stereotypical form of magic. Sorceries use summoned Concepts and don't require materials or magic circles or somatic actions. If you see a wizard concentrate for a moment, and something weird happens afterward, you saw a sorcery.
Next are rituals. Magic circles, material components, somatic gestures, and multiple casters are all hallmarks of this type, and it includes anything that creates a new boundary but isn't sorcery.
Lastly, there is enchantment. Enchantment either creates an instant phenomenon on another material, or a permanent artifact meant to be used repeatedly. The idea is, that the spellwork one does is not within a completely new boundary, but is done by adding or removing Concepts from a pre-existing boundary. For example, an occultist could permanently add an ‘unbearably cold’ concept to the blade of a sword, or instantly change the enemy's skeletal system to be ‘highly combustible when submerged in blood’.
​
Schools and Applications
There are quite a few ‘schools’ of the occult, general categories occultists put spellwork into. Schools can include things like ‘divination’, ‘necromancy’, or ‘war artifice’.
An example of a specific school of magic is called ‘name sympathy’. Almost all human souls have a ‘name’ Attribute, as it is standard practice to name your children in modern times. One’s name generally is one of their most prominent Attributes, so it is not a difficult task to target a person by using just their name. This is where the school of name sympathy shines, using traces of one’s person to find out their name and affect their soul directly. Sometimes this is used for good and is especially effective when used in conjunction with the ‘healing’ school of magic. Most times, though, it's used for magical murder.
Immortality is not a school of magic per se, since it is just one Concept, but that concept is so hard to build that it takes as much research and effort as any real school. The thing about immortality is that it is very hard to balance. The human body is made up of millions of small parts, all of them living and reproducing and dying constantly. Sure, one could just enchant themselves with the Concept of ‘life’ and apply their mana, but that would immediately give them cancer in every organ. And since there are no real immortal creatures to read the Concept from, in practice, an occultist seeking immortality has to build the Concept from the ground up, and doing so has taken so long and has been failed by so many that most believe that it's completely impossible.
An occultist may completely copy a concept into another boundary. That is called conjuration, one of the other greatly researched struggles of the occult. In most spells, the physical material attached to the Concept within the boundary is left out. When an occultist tries to completely recreate an object with mass or energy, (for example, if you were trying to use gold to make more gold), they are trying to add more matter to the universe than there originally was. And they will accomplish this, thoroughly breaking the law of conservation of mass. However, reality hates when its laws are broken, and it will attack the conjured object, destroying it completely within moments. The whole problem with conjuration is trying to make it work long enough to be applicable for anything more than its primary use for split seconds of attack or defense in the middle of battle, especially given how mana intensive it is. A promising line of study has involved trying to create an equal amount of ‘dark matter’ at the same time as the actual conjuration, balancing out reality.
​
All About Artifice
Artificing is another application of the occult, but it is an expansive field that warrants a section of its own. It is generally defined as using enchantment to permanently imbue an item with a Concept.
Artifacts are the most accessible way to use magic. Unlike sorceries and rituals, which require magical knowledge and practice to use, the only real requirement for activating an artifact is to push mana into it yourself. And since everyone with a soul has at least a small amount of mana, anyone can pick up an artifact and use it with minimal training. A good example of this was the ancient Greek phalanx, which was not only the name of the military formation, but also what they called the combined magical gear used by the people in it, comprised of animated spears that automatically targeted vital points, shields that inflicted magical fear, and helmets that stopped arrows in their tracks.
Potions are another example of artifice, though technically they belong to its subschool, alchemy. A potion is any ingestible, magical liquid that gives a beneficial effect to the drinker when they apply mana to the unmetabolized quantity of it within their bloodstream. Solids versions of this concept are called boluses, and gasses are generally deemed too hard to work with. Potions can only be activated by the drinker, meaning there are not many ways to create alchemical poison without convincing one's victim to course mana through their own bloodstream.

I'm from Northwest Iowa. Been on every dating site known to man and l just seeing if I can maybe hit gold on here. Looking for someone to grow old with as I'm tired of always coming home to an empty apartment, there is only so much Mass Effect games once can play (PS4). I'm 6' tall, Brown hair and brown eyes, I am overweight but have decided I need to change that otherwise I'm going to have a short life and I don't want that. I want to have kids and grow old with someone.
Hmm favorite things/hobbies
-Going to concerts
-Going to Movies (I'm a movie whore)
-Star Wars geek and Marvel Geek.
-I listen to mostly hard rock/heavy metal, not country too much
-Favorite bands are Seether (seen and met them multiple times), Killswitch Engage (Howard Jones fronted is the best imo), Disturbed, In This Moment, Halestorm, Lacuna Coil, Metallica (of course who doesn't like Metallica and call themselves a metal head), and many more.
-Kansas City Chiefs Football fan
-Sci-fi geek (star wars (know trivia upon trivia), star trek to a certain point, Stargate movie and series, Supernatural, Arrowverse shows, etc) -vampire mythology and ghost hunting
-Bonfires
-Long talks that go long into the nights about nothing and everything at once
-Like the seasons of Halloween to Christmas
-Like to sit in front of the window and watch it snow during the holiday season, if there isn't snow it just doesn't feel like the holiday season
-I'm a gamer PS4 mostly. Don't do much online play, haven't found a game that I like yet do that.
-Love the Mass Effect series (yes even Andromeda, once the bugs were fixed it was a really good game) Madden, Tomb Raider games, Star Wars: Fallen Jedi Order. I'm one that will play for a little bit to relax and then go about everyday life.
-My ideal job would be to be in radio as that is what one of my college degree's are in.
-There is a lot more stuff and if you're interested please ask as I am an open book.
As for what I'm looking for, I'm not picky. Of age obviously, Redheads are my kryptonite, someone that isn't looking for a sugar daddy or depend on someone to get them through life, Independent, would be happy cuddling on the couch instead of going out every night (once in a while is fine), if you have kids not problem (kids seem to like me).
If the right person comes along I can do a long distance relationship as long as we close the distance. Just looking for a connection and maybe even if I don't find that I can at least fine someone to talk to.
I'm easy to get a hold of, either through here or kik or if there are other chatting programs I would do that.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Not the best pic but I have more if you'd like https://imgur.com/a/2H6a1F9

I work nights in downtown and there’s a pretty decent court nearby. I thought it would be a good idea since we get very long breaks that I could go and practice late at night like 2 or 3am and it’s pretty isolated aswell so I doubt I would be waking anyone up. The only problem is that it’s dark. The nearby street lights help a bit so it’s not pitch black but I can still barely see the rim from 3. Are there any solutions for this? A flash light would probably burn out if it’s on for extended periods of time. Practicing in the dark may be beneficial since it will increase my awareness and aim when playing in a well lit environment, but I don’t really feel that comfortable playing in a dark isolated area in downtown late at night.

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The blade forging left Sorore exhausted, the failure left her frustrated, and the cold gave way to fear as the night drew closer. As day faded into dusk, she reflected on a morning that had been as full of ups and downs as the mountain paths they’d travelled. The very fact that she had been able to use magic, that it had crashed from the realm of fairy tales and church warnings into the very real everyday occurrence was already an earth shattering experience.
Then she’d moved water with a thought, seen monsters fall from the sky, and watched the paladins cleaving them in two. Her head spun with the strangeness of it all, the sheer onset of fanciful things blurring and mixing together with reality. She began to wonder what else might be true, of the fairy tales in the myth she had heard on the seas in her father’s ship. Of the old folk stories of Erratz, often dismissed as nothing more than old wive’s tales.
A new world had opened up before her, and she wasn't sure to be fascinated or terrified of it. Certainly the paladins didn't want any part of it, and they certainly didn't want her to be involved. And from everything she knew of the church scripture, they were absolutely right. She felt the danger, the power of the matter, and knew that it was only a small fraction of what it could do. She even felt a certain degree of fear towards the masked man in the black robes, as respectful as he had been as a tutor.
At least he didn't use a switch to reminder of when she had failed.
But even in the murk of her disquiet in that moment, she also felt a smouldering frustration underlying it. The knife had been hers, her project, her duty, and she had resolutely failed to craft it. Part of her shifted the blame elsewhere - it was a new technique she had picked up over the course of an afternoon. Efrain himself had said as much, even going as far to say that he hadn’t expected her to do it.
Now that was something she didn’t like at all. When people expected her to fail, despite all her efforts.
However, that resolution meant little now, given that she had been excused from the effort. At least now the mage had the basic shape to work on. She let her hand drift on the rough stone walls of the church. Thousands of individual perfections, many thousands of years old, the stone functioning despite it. Perhaps it would be enough, the basic, overall function, but she recalled all the pittances and channels carved in her vision of the knife.
She knew what was driving the doubt. It was curiosity, that sticking bug that clung to her, despite all her prayers to the contrary. She just couldn’t seem to shake it, despite the ‘assistance’ of church teachers when it reared its head particularly high. She had expected the snap across the palms from Efrain when he drew that piece of wood. It had been a relief when he’d tossed it over his shoulder.
The thought was an unworthy one, she immediately considered. She should’ve been grateful to the various priests and scholars who’d spent years teaching the twins. Some had even prepared their entire lives, just on the chance they’d meet the beloved Bequeathed. If they were strict, then so be it, it was for the sake of preparing her and Frare for their duties.
The church was once more a buzz of activity as people prepared for the night ahead. She and Lillian found their way to the altar, attracting only minor glances. The villagers clearly had gotten used to their presence, although some offered a respectful and perhaps wary gaze for Lillian. One of Frare’s eyes opened as they approached, but he quickly returned to his half-rest leaning on a pillar. Aya was still very much asleep, chest gently rising and falling under the furs where Sorore had left her.
Sorore sat on the wide steps, put her chins on her hands, and began to think. It was a rather dangerous proposition, considering her recent failure. She had a tendency to ruminate on them, and often her twin would find her staring plaintively before loudly disrupting it. This time was no different, as before anything but impotent frustration could boil over, he plopped down behind her back.
“Stop that,” he said, “I can hear your teeth beginning to grind.”
She leaned back to lie upon his lap, despite the admonishment she heard in her head about proper sitting position. His eyes were closed again, and she followed suit, letting the minutes wile away as night crept into the word. She was shaken out of this reverie by a loud pop and Aya’s yelp. The girl was both mid yawn and bright red as both the paladins and the twins turned to look at her. She insisted that she was fine, and took to straightening her clothes subconsciously.
It was a mere temporary distraction for Sorore, who was largely engrossed in considering the knife. Rather than merely wallowing in her problems, she was invested in its function. She could almost see the stone parting before her, revealing the source of that smothering cold behind the door. Maybe if she had tried one more time, maybe if she reduced the complexity of the form, then increased when she got the basic shape. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
It was all of very little use. She was inside her head once again, at a complete loss of what to do. Maybe, within the grand archives of Angorrah, the answer was contained in a dusty scroll. Some offhand fact or technique of forging, long forgotten in the darkness of the shelves. But these were several weeks of travel away, and she wasn’t sure that she’d see the next sunrise. So then, what could she do to get them to bridge that gap? Just one more day, that’s all they needed, to hold out until the next sunrise.
Nothing. That was the simple truth of it - she was a lost little girl in a small village surrounded by terrible things. The thought was not a comforting one, and she wriggled, trying to nestle deeper into the legs of her twin. Aya by that point had come to sit down beside them, looking greyer as the dark came on. No wonder, for she knew she all felt the chill roll forward as the fog waxed in the night.
Another meal of common fare came and went, though Sorore noted that many soldiers were taking care with it. Perhaps it was common practice, to relish what very well may be your last meal. For her part she found it rather difficult to keep it down, the coming dread of the hours ahead offsetting her appetite.
The faces of the paladins had settled into that implacable, stoney cast once more. They quietly rebandaged their injuries, readjusted their armour, and set to sharpening their great blades with long deliberate strokes. Sorore idly thought that their sleeping faces were significantly more pleasant, if rarer to see. Thus it was that they crossed over into the late afternoon, where the light was quickly fading.
“I would like to take one last little walk,” Aya spoke up, “before… you know.”
The paladins looked up, their eyes twisting with barely veiled misapprehension at the request.
“My lady…” Lillian began.
“We can’t,” Niche said, “Not now. Not so close to dark.”
“Just barely outside the door,” said Aya, “Just so I can see something other than the church. Just to stretch my legs.”
The paladins looked at each other, looked back, and set their faces.
“Well, I suppose it can be accommodated,” Lillian said, “only just outside the church, and only for a few minutes.”
Her tone warned of dire consequences if these conditions should not be strictly adhered to. The children all collectively nodded and the party of five set out past the doors. The barricades within the church had grown in size and strength, at least as far as Sorore could judge. The villagers, under the supervision of the soldiers, had proven diligent in the daylight hours. She could only hope that it would be enough for the onset of the creatures, should they breach the church.
She had a dread certainty that it would indeed be breached, sooner or later. Though she hadn’t heard of any specifics, whispers of just how many of the things lurked outside were passed around. It was a small stroke of fortune that the windows were narrow and ensconced in stone. The last thing they needed was one of the flying beasts to crash through the glass.
The faint red-pink cast to the grey outside was beginning to fade into blackness as the sun shrank. Occasionally, the banks of fog would strip away, revealing the abominable silhouettes standing still past the wall. They would close just as quickly, removing any clarity, and leaving only the icy fear in its place. The remaining soldiers and villagers watched them with anxiety and exhaustion.
The garden around the front of the church was almost non-existent. Most of the flowers had been trampled either in preparation for or during the course of the battle. The only things left relatively untouched were the central beds around the side of the church, which grew produce for its tenants. Some trees still stood, showing minimal damage from the fog and its creatures.
The five ducked under the boughs of the closest one to the doors. The additional chill brought by its shade was a trifling concern at the present. The green, muted as it was by the overcast sky beyond, was a lively anchor in the cold, dead mists. Such was the comfort of the place that Soroe let herself lean back onto the bark of the tree and eyes drift closed.
The trunk was solid, a comforting sensation that seemed to offset the malevolence of the fog.
Enough so that Sorore began to wander the netherworld of half-sounds and sights that characterised pre-sleep. They all wandered with her, some staying, some peeling off, guided by their own demented logic. Little and less was coherent, but it took her away from the horrible reality of what lurked a few hundred steps away all the same.
She fell deeper into this other-state, letting the visions wash over her as the real world slipped away. Time became a mercurial concept, which led her to question when exactly everything had settled. But settled it had, into a hazy blackness which the eye could not pierce. There, in the distance, a bright ribbon of twisting warm color glowed. A piece of fresh-forged metal perhaps, the day’s task going straight to her head. Or maybe it was the remnants of another dream that day, one that was already a blurry memory.
From a great distance, she heard a crash, unmistakable in its ringing clarity. A forge hammer singing out a song of its own, for now merely a rhythm. It shifted in tone as it rang out through the abyss once more, adding progression, then melody, all written in singing steel. Sorore’s fingers began to drum out the sequence on her thighs as she felt it reverberate through her. Then, with a sliding screech, she was left alone in the half-dream, with nothing but darkness remaining.
Still, the bright memory of the song remained, and in the darkness another voice took shape. It was a deep, rich, and handsome sound, that spoke of a confidence of such immensity that you were convinced its wielder could do anything. Sorore had never heard the likes of it before, either on the docks, or in cities, or on the open waves.
“Come now,” it said, “this little thing is giving you trouble?”
Sorore’s eyes slowly open, pulling her from the dreamscape back into the dreariness of the real. Aya had her knees pulled to her chest, leaning back into the trunk. The paladins, tired but alert, scanned the endlessly shifting banks of fog.
Sorore had a fleeting impression that the answers were just beyond the pale mists. Maybe something would come through, parting it like thin curtains, and impart the inspiration she needed. Or maybe a whole set of schematics will drop into my lap from the sky, she thought with dark irony.
The vision was quickly fading into the abyss of forgetfulness. Perhaps Aya had shared it once more with her, but she was in conversation with the paladins. Not wanting to interrupt, Sorore looked at her outstretched legs. Past them were a handful of leaves that had fallen despite the summer of the valley, with a couple long decomposed to nothing but their skeletons.
She reached out to grasp at the leaves, looking at the yellow-grey veins that raced across its surface. The large ones spread from the central stem and the hundreds of smaller capillaries that interconnected them. Holding up to the sky, she screwed her face, trying to discern the details of this piece of nature. After a few moments of tepid stillness, the clouds parted for just a moment, letting a ray of sunlight lance down to catch their hill in its beam.
For a second, the leaf seemed to glow, shimmering like metal catching glare.
And Sorore had her inspiration.
With that, she sprang to her feat so fast that one of the paladins almost jumped. Both looked around with questioning and slightly alarmed expressions. Sorore didn’t have much of an answer - in fact her mind was going so fast that she could hardly even articulate the solution that had been revealed to her.
“The- the- the-” she said, snapping her fingers, trying to put words to the idea, “I know what to do. I need to find him.”
“Find who? The mage?” asked Lillian.
The fiery certainty of the thought sent Sorore tramping out onto the grass, leading to calls from the paladins to slow down. She didn’t bother to wait for them, consumed by this need to find the mage, the knife, to try again.
The forge was more or less empty, save for the few labourers packing up the tools and ferrying them into the church proper. With a furious set of questions, she gleaned that he’d vacated the premises some time ago. The paladins called for her to stop as she doubled back, but she couldn’, not now.
The scenery seemed to blur as she rushed through the church doors, past the bustling barricades, and to the captain’s tables. A somewhat perturbed Damafelce told the young girl that Efrain had been seen entering the door at the end of the church. With that, Sorore broke out into a run, past the altar, through the door and down into the darkness of the Catacombs.
She stepped out onto the sand floor, the members of her party at her heels as she tried to seek out the path to the black wall. She stumbled more than once as she felt her way along in the darkness, fortunately with no skeletal interruptions this time. Down the stairs and into the long corridor she came, the smothering cold increasing as she pushed forward.
As she had surmised, Efrain was there, just about to start whatever process pried apart the stone. The tip of the blade was raised, pressed into the stone above his head. He turned at the approaching footsteps, cocking his head at the lack of isolation. Sorore didn’t even wait for him to say something, instead thrusting out her head for the crude metal knife.
“ I know- I can- I can do it now,” she said, breathless from the long run from the surface.
Delicately, Efrain removed the metal from the stone, and looked down at her. There seemed to be a questioning quality to the look, at least as far as she could read the emotionless mask. He looked at the cat, then back to the girl, and then to the rest of her party.
“How?” he said, “ If I let you undo this, we may not have enough time to recreate it before the attacks begin.”
“Leaves,” she said, putting a hand on the wall to steady herself as her lungs complained, “it- was the leaves.”
“The… leaves?” he said, “ All right. Stop, take a few breaths, and start from the beginning.”
And so she did, explaining how she sat under the bows of the trees, the half-awake dreaming, and the skeleton of the leaf.
“I got it. I was trying to build the whole thing out myself, all at once,” she said, stumbling over her words, “instead of letting nature do what it wants. The metal wants to come together - I don’t need to force it into its final shape. I just need to build a- a-”
She snapped her fingers at the air, trying to reach past this new blank as Efrain regarded the knife.
“You want to build a frame,” he said, “and let the metal fill in the rest of the empty space.”
After a moment’s hesitation, he turned over the knife, hilt first, to the girl.
“Well then,” he said, “let’s hope you know what you’re doing.”
She did, or at least she hoped she did this time. Within moments, the metal was flowing over her hands like a cold stream, but instead of trying to sculpt it, she began to spin filaments outwards. Like the skeleton of the leaf, little veins of metal stretched outwards, stopping abruptly, and folding back into themselves. If it had been hard before, it was now brutal, the smothering cold dragging at every attempt to shape the material.
Hands trembling, sweat beginning to bead on her forehead, she managed to split the metal into dark fingers. All she had to do was resist gravity and prevent it spilling over the imaginary bounds of the shape. From those dark fingers, snaking vines spread out and connected with each other. Slowly, slowly, branching and arcing, they filled in the skeleton she’d created and fused.
The final product wasn’t altogether too different from what they’d created during the afternoon. The shape, a heavy chisel tip, tapering out to twin furls like a plough, a longer tang. Sorore, half blind by stinging salt, didn’t fail to notice swirling furrows spreading across its surface. She had no idea how she’d managed to etch those designs, or perhaps the metal remembered, just as the stone did.
“Well,” said the mage at last, “suffice to say, I am impressed. Now, hold it up.”
She did so, despite the exhaustion of her arms, the tip wavering as his finger touched its point.
There was a rush of something, extending over the surface of the blade, stopping just short of her hand. It was like a coat of mail had been pulled taught, the links aligning at the same time, snapping together in a regular structure. From the tip of the chisel, down to the tang, the metal shuddered and settled. By the time it disappeared under her grip, it was rigid as any steel tool.
The mage gently took it from her, holding the blade up to that little flickering light above his head. Flicking it this way and that, he seemed to find whatever he was looking for, and pressed the tip to the wall. Sorore, despite her fatigue, was practically exploding with excitement. She’d done it, not only conquering the task, but she was about to see what was behind those dark walls.
Then, before he pressed the blade into the stone and drew it down, he paused.
“Paladins,” he said, voice quiet, “it would be best to take the children back into the church.”
Lillian frowned and put a hand onto her hilt as she stared at the door.
“What?” said Sorore, aghast, “ But I-”
“No buts,” said Efrain, “we don’t know what’s behind this door. It may be dangerous, it may not. But I strongly suspect it’s not something you would want to see. Very well done, little one, but this is something I should deal with on my own.”
The tone of academic authority was not an unfamiliar one to Sorore. But unlike in virtually all other occasions in her life, she attempted to object. Before she could speak more than a few words, Lillian took her by the shoulders, her mind apparently made up. All three of them were carted up the stairs as barely contained rage began to bubble up inside her.
“Do you think we should…?” said Niche, gesturing to the surrounding stone.
“No, not yet,” Lillian said, “putting aside everything else, we still might need him.”
Niche nodded and said no more.
They had made a steady pace, overtaking half the hallway as the scream of metal on stone echoed out. It was followed by a grating rumble as presumably the doors opened. If the temperature below the surface was cold when they came, the resulting drop was freezing. The mist that rose up behind them whispered things in long mournful sighs as the surroundings began to buzz with what must’ve been magic.
Then, from up the stairs there was a long, terrible wail.
[←Chapter 47] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 49→]

I saw that one post of the dude who posted a picture of all monkeys whose t5s could pop 999 ceramics but that post was not good so I decided to do it better.
Each tower will (for the most part) have the same buffs. 999 ceramics will be sent out on Logs (Hard) and the round will be set to 100. Unless otherwise specified, all towers will have pbrew and 250 village. Oh, and I have maxed MK.
Take this with a grain of salt. Results may be different depending on placement/better micro. I'm doing this on a trackpad so....
Dart Monkey: Ultra Juggernaut did it. Nothing much to say. It didn't need Homeland ability. I used 520. Plasma Monkey Fan Club did terribly. It could barely pop ceramics fully unless the ability was activated, in which case it shredded through them, but the ability didn't come off cooldown fast enough to take care of the bloons. I tried both 250 and 052. When I added a Primary Expertise, it did more than the PMFC. Crossbow Master did.. alright? It popped all 999 ceramics. I used Homeland once when bloons got a bit far, but I don't think I needed to. Probably would have done better with better placement. I used 025.
Boomerang Monkey: Glaive Lord did amazing. Nothing needs to be said. I used 520. Perma-Charge also did really well. I used 052. I also didn't need to use the ability. I thought Moab Domination would do really badly considering the name, but I was pleasantly surprised. The bloons got a bit far but considering the tower is meant for moabs, it did perfectly fine. I used 025.
Bomb Shooter: I swear the bloons despawned. I did not see Bomb Crush pop a single one but apparently it popped all 999. I used 520. Both crosspaths barely did anything. The Moab Eliminator can't do anything to ceramics. Bomb Blitz did fine. Nothing to say. I used 205.
Tack Shooter: Inferno Ring did well. Nothing to say. I used 502. Super Maelstrom did fine. I just needed to spam the ability, no Homeland needed. I used 250. If Tack Zone didn't pop them on the first bend, it did on the second. I used 205.
Ice Monkey: With the help of Homeland, Super Brittle popped all of the ceramics. I used 520. It took a LONG time, but Absolute Zero popped them all, no ability needed. I used 052. Icicle Impale did fine. I used 025. Honestly, I didn't expect Ice Monkey to do so well.
Glue Gunner: Bloon Solver was the only one that did anything. I used 502.
Sniper Monkey: Cripple Moab couldn't do it with either crosspath. Elite Sniper did it with ease. I used 250. Elite Defender did it with ease. I used 025.
Monkey Sub: Energizer did fine. I used 502. Pre-emptive Strike did fine. I used 052. Sub Commander did fine. I used 025.
Monkey Buccaneer: Carrier Flagship did fine. I used 520. Pirate Lord did fine. I used 250. Trade Empire, surprisingly, cleared all of the ceramics with the help of Homeland. I used 025.
Monkey Ace: *Keep in mind I'm not microing this tower for 2 reasons. 1. I am not a sweat and 2. I don't even know how to efficiently micro ace yet. Sky Shredder, as the name implies, shredded the bloons. I used 502. I don't think anyone is surprised that Tsar Bomba didn't clear all 999 ceramics with either crosspath. Flying Fortress cleared all 999 ceramics with ease. I used 205.
Heli Pilot: Apache Prime popped all 999 with ease. I used 502. I knew the marine was decent, but I didn't expect it to clear all 999 ceramics. I used 250. Comanche Commander cleared them all. I used 205.
Mortar Monkey: Biggest One cleared them all, no micro needed. I used 520. Pop and Awe needed no micro. I used 250. Blooncineration needed no micro. I used 025.
Dartling Gunner: Ray of Doom obliterated all ceramics. I used 520. I couldn't do it with MAD, but it's definitely possible (and very easy). The thing is, I'm on a trackpad and didn't care about placement. I used 052. Bloon Exclusion Zone popped them with ease. I used 205.
I'm getting really tired so there's gonna be less effort starting now.
Wizard Monkey: Archmage popped them all. I used 520. Wizard Lord Phoenix popped them all. I used 250. Prince of Darkness popped them all. I used 025.
Super Monkey: TSG is going to have no sacrifices at all (does it REALLY need them for this?). It popped them all. I used 520. The Anti-Bloon popped them all. I used 250. Legend of the Night aka batman popped them all. I used 205.
Ninja Monkey: Grandmaster Ninja popped them all. I used 502. Neither Grand Saboteur crosspath could pop all of the ceramics, even after using the ability + Homeland. With better placement and micro, Master Bomber might be possible, but I couldn't do it with either crosspath.
Alchemist: Busted out the multiple t5s mod for this one. Permabrew didn't pop them all. Total Transformation didn't pop them all. I didn't add extra towers though. Bloon Master Alchemist didn't pop them all.
Druid: Superstorm popped them all. I used 502. Druid of the Forest popped them all. I used 250. Avatar of Wrath popped them all. I needed to use Homeland, BUT I didn't add any extra druids. I used 205.
Banana Farm: As we all know, each tier of the banana farm completely obliterated the bloons.
Spike Factory: Super Mines popped them all. I used 520. Carpet of Spikes popped them all. I used 250. I let the spikes build up for a bit before sending out the ceramics. Permaspike popped all the bloons.
Monkey Village: Primary Expertise is the only one that can deal damage, and it cleared them all. I used 500.
Engineer Monkey: Sentry Champion popped all the bloons. I used 502. Ultraboost did not. Neither crosspath did. Neither did XXL Trap. Neither crosspath did.
Beast Handler: Since all of the t5s need multiple Beast Handlers, I used multiple. Megalodon popped them all. Gigantosaurus popped them all with its ability. Pouakai popped them all.
I'm going to sleep. I'll answer more questions in the morning.

BACKSTORY: tldr
Sootsprinkle (now known as Inkle), a bird with mottled black and grey feathers, embarks on a journey beyond his home forest. Armed with a map from his father, he quickly becomes lost due to the forest's uniformity. As night falls, he encounters strange luminescent blobs that captivate him. Following one of them, he discovers another blob trailing behind him. Intrigued, he observes multiple processions of these blobs converging towards a distant point.
Reaching a clearing, Sootsprinkle finds himself surrounded by an impenetrable darkness. When he attempts to land, he realizes there is no ground beneath him and starts falling into a seemingly endless void. As he plummets, he contemplates his father, the sign he made, and the creatures he encountered. Eventually, he loses consciousness due to his ever increasing velocity.
Upon waking, Sootsprinkle is greeted by an elf and an old man who rescued him from their well. Confused but relieved, he introduces himself as "Sootpinkie Sprinkle." They inquire about his origins, and he tells them about his forest, his father, and the peculiar journey that led him to their location. The elf lady, named Zindi, decides to help him and invites him inside their dwelling.
They tell Sootsprinkle they are in The Vastlands, main continent of Arcavios and that they can help him become acquainted with their ways, history and educational requirements.
Long months of studying ensue, but Sootsprinkle proves his worth with an excellent memory despite subpar recitations. He learns how to write in common and begins to learn elvish under Zindi's tutelage.
During his studies, he takes an interest in the magic Zindi and the old man perform on a daily basis, seemingly effortlessly. He asks questions tirelessly and without the usual stuttering.
They mention that the University of Strixhaven, the most elite school of mages in the multiverse, is only a few days journey from their home and encourage him to apply. He wonders desperately about his father and the forest village he left behind, but decides his dad is too busy being rich and applies to Strixhaven in the end. Still, he vows to return not only literate but as a wizard and a scholar.
He is accepted swiftly by the college of Lorehold, despite being just around their average standards, once he mentions the odd void that brought him to their lands. This college of scholars set their motto "Leave no stone unturned" deep into young Sootsprinkle. He adventured often, despite his small size. On one expedition he found a shiny green pebble and took it back to his professors who laughed and told him it was just a regular rock that was shiny and green. Sootsprinkle kept it anyway.
Later, he found a feather trapped in fossilized resin and excavated it with great care. It was in near pristine condition, blacker than his own and twice as big. When he made his way back, he decided to do independent research in the library to avoid being laughed at again. A blackish ink sprang forth from the tip, staining countless books before he stuck it in his mouth swallowing nearly a bucket full of the rancid liquid. Sootsprinkle was swiftly brought to the infirmary where he made a full recovery and gained a new nickname "Inkwell". He liked it, but decided to pay homage to his old name and family by changing the ending to "le".
Worried about getting kicked out, he explained the entire situation, without stuttering and was granted leniency. This was partially due to his discovery of the unique feather, which was confiscated until head scholars had learned everything they could about it and deemed it safe for him to retain. It was his pride and joy, he wrote many flawless papers with it and about it.
He spent nearly zero time eating, sleeping or making friends. He loved listening to his peers speak and learning from them and always tried his best to reply when they talked to him first, but never went out on his own to seek them out.
In his 3rd year there, he decided to start researching the black void more closely. No one had heard of such a thing although many theories were thrown about here and there. The old man's well was studied day and night one year, under almost permanent surveillance. Nothing but water ever came out again. There was nothing odd about the well.
Inkle decided to take his research to the Biblioplex, supposedly the most massive collection of knowledge in all of the known multiverse. He had been before but the sheer size of the place left him a little upset, knowing he could never possibly read everything in there. He returned sparingly over the previous 2 years.
The librarian and codex proved invaluable to his research although the anomaly had never been seen in the form it took that fateful day, the effects resembled those of the creature known as Vormox, an enormous, worm-shaped anomaly with iridescent scales and a serpentine body.
It possesses the ability to teleport matter by consuming it. When it devours something, it absorbs its energy and essence. The consumed matter is transformed into energy, and "defected", intact, at another location (Usually somewhere random in the vacuum of space or mashed inside another object. In this case, it seems it was the old man's well.
The futility of his situation hit him then, there was absolutely no way to locate this creature in all the infinite locations it could be in and no way to manipulate it to take him back to the right home in the right timeline in the right reality.
Inkle was not worried that he would never see his father again, that was a near certainty. Distraught, he sought comfort in both learning and psychedelic substances, many of which he modified at random. His 108th trial was on an unremarkable evening with an unremarkable substance that he already knew through and through. An odd fungus boiled down, mixed with any alcohol, and magically flavored with a new taste he came up with called "pitch". It was a heavy flavor, it tasted like the top of your mouth, only more. Or like nothing, only less.
Too lazy to grab a cup tonight, he conjured a health potion and dumped in the pitch flavored liquid, filling it to the brim before downing the whole concoction at once. He went to lay down in his bed but substance kicked in nearly immediately.
Vibrant colors danced before his eyes, swirling and merging in an ethereal symphony of hues. Reality twisted and contorted, shifting like a mirage in the desert. His bed seemed miles away, but he made a lunge for it and felt something soft before closing his eyes. And yet, something was wrong.
In this altered state, he felt a profound disconnection with the universe, as if he could touch the very essence of creation but never be a part of it. He floated through cascading patterns of geometric shapes, each one unfolding with intricate precision. Fear led him into a small pocket of a reality in a corner of his mind left untouched since childhood. The air here calmed him and the room faded. Time and space became malleable, merging and folding in on themselves. The sharp points of the fractals were gone.
The journey reached its crescendo. He emerged from the undulating abyss into a realm not unlike his own. He saw grass so green it almost looked real. In fact it felt pretty real too, although the substance has never given him tactile hallucinations before. Unconcerned, he took a bite of probably the most grass flavored grass he'd even encountered.
The air crackled with energy, and the atmosphere hummed with an otherworldly resonance, promising endless adventures and profound revelations. No sooner than one flap of his wings and Inkle smashed into the ground, and blacked out, head throbbing all the while.
Unbeknownst to him, Inkle had crossed a threshold in his own mind entering a reality in some space and time entirely different than his own. He had in fact, not landed on his bed and instead fell through one of those tiny cracks in reality that are only visible when you close your eyes.
He dreamed of the nothingness, discovering his entire self in the absence of a mind. The pain of losing his home dimension felt so insignificant compared to the nothingness. He wondered about love and companionship but realized he wouldn't care to experience it again, but rather would like to know and catalogue it along with as many other things as possible. He looked around and saw his quill and then his body and willed himself towards them.
When he woke up to the sound of birds, he was on a patch of grass on a beach staring at a vast and dark ocean.

Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for allowing fanfiction and giving us Tilfish. The man gave us a canon art of the bugs, and they're rad!
I'm surprised I got this motivation in my to write this part so quickly. I think the fine comments I got motivated me pretty well. Now, I'd appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this. If its flow is smooth and feels right, let me know, I'm not usually good with dialogue.
Also, Feenstra, thank you for your kindness and support. I don't know how to respond to it, honestly, but you're a cool cat.
[First] [Prior] [Next]
.*~*.
Memory Transcription Subject: Marullo, Tilfish agricultural practitioner.
Date: December 2, 2136
.~*~.
I gripped the fabric over the side window and pushed it aside, spotting a Tilfish on the other side of the door instead of a cluster of predators. He appears rather calm, even though he's alone out in the open. My grip tightened on the blind before I tugged the door open.
"Visiting hours are closed." I stated curtly, my antennae twitching outside of my control. Formi I'm still riled up, and I want this man gone so I can dig a hole in peace. I eye the visitor sharply, not seeing any garment or air to him that would tip me off if this was a visiting politician. He's too soft to be a farmer, and I know for a fact there's no appointments he could be attending.
"Oh, uh, is this a business?" I don't even bother with a reply and give the stranger a long look, waiting for him to either acknowledge the massive emblem on the wall right above us or get on with it. He fidgets in awkward silence for a long few seconds. "Uhhh... okay, okay. Off on the wrong feeler here. I'm concerned, is all. I could hear you yelling for the past hour."
My antennae dropped slightly. "What?"
"You uh, your window was open." The stranger explained, mandibles clicking slightly in concern as I shut the door behind me and scuttled down the steps into the yard. I felt my chitin warm around my skull as I looked at the aforementioned window.
Don't tell me I broadcasted that entire conversation to the world.
Stupid sand spitters. Stupid sand spitters!
"I... am sorry for disturbing the peace." I hissed. "I had to wrangle some insubordinates into line. How much did you hear?"
"Not much. Just a lot of yelling. We could hear you from the apartments."
I dipped my head at the mention of the living block. The Regional Agriculture Advisory building was on the edge of the business and government district, and down the road was the start of a residential area. Towering buildings loomed over there, and on occasion they provided a nice view from my old office window with the setting sun reflecting off their many windows.
I was lucky that the masses were too nervous to be out and about in this sector. There was an infestation of predators in and around the capitol building, and even more outposts spread through the surrounding sectors. Being on the streets wasn't popular any more, so the normally lively road we were on was all but abandoned the past several days.
Oddly, I noticed that this stranger was very much alone. There was no swarm to keep him safe, and no vehicle in sight. On the far end of the road leading into the residential sector was a hastily erected barricade that still stood untouched by the predator's roving patrols, comprised mostly of furniture and scrap wood and metal. Looking towards the other end of the road leading towards the capitol building was a more firm barricade that surprisingly still stood, but the filthy tire tracks that cut over the sidewalk and through carefully maintained gardens and lawns told me how the predators got by. There was still nobody else in sight.
"It won't happen again. I had to enforce who's the new boss."
"The predators?"
My mandibles clacked and the stranger flinched at my snap, but stood his ground as I side eyed him intently. "No, me. I'm in charge of this operation."
"Did the predators tell you that yesterday?"
You tar sucking wretch.
The airy accusation made me clench my mandibles and feelers, and my antennae grew still. It must've encouraged the stranger to keep going.
"Because replacing our leaders with more traitorous Tilfish won't work. We're not the Venlil."
So that was what this was really about. Okay.
"You're mistaken," I began smoothly, ready to cut down this wretch with words alone. "My daughter got into trouble while I was working, and was returned to me. I've been terribly busy as you've heard in the old Advisor's place, with everything ongoing. Their visit yesterday did not pertain to my office, and any insinuation to the contrary will not be taken lightly."
"There was a boy as well. He seemed unnaturally comfortable with the beasts."
I will bury you underneath my garden.
"Your vision must be failing, because I assure you I saw no such thing under my roof."
"Good, good. We cannot have the diseased among us, no matter the times. I was wary of calling the exterminators prematurely, so I'm glad I checked in."
"The dead Exterminators?" I asked sharply, cocking my head. "Or the ones leashed to the predators?"
"..." The wretch stared at me for a long moment. "The dead ones, I suppose."
"What a shame about them, really." I drawled. "Anyways, did you have anything else on your mind you felt worth coming over this way to ask?"
"What happened to the old Advisor?"
"Dereliction of duty and cowardice. He's fled to a different system by now. For all the good that'll do him." The wretch's antennae flicked in irritation. "Now, the office is closed and I have work to do yet. Admittance is by appointment only. Good day."
The wretch didn't leave, apparently unsatisfied. We stared at each other a moment more.
"Is something else the matter?" I buzzed firmly.
"The swarm is more than capable of defending itself without the Exterminators. Don't think yourself above it's reach."
Something cold settled in my carapace. My claws itched. "Be very careful; threatening the Agricultural office is a high crime. I'm more than capable of protecting myself without the Exterminators."
A twitch from the wretch. "Is that so?"
"Don't come around my office again. Bounders are not welcome here, same as any predator."
His antennae lowered and he remained quiet, and I felt a faint trill in my chest. "Enjoy your day..."
"Eat sod." I responded sharply. I eyed the wretch as he retreated down the sidewalk, and something clicked in my mind.
Twenty paces. In twenty paces I could retrieve the gun in the lobby. You won't even see it coming.
A flicker of movement, and another Tilfish stepped out from some ornamental carvings in front of the filing office down the way, joining the wretch. I waited until the two were out of sight and long gone, arms crossed and feelers clenching my chitin as I waited even longer, before turning back to my abode and striding around to the garden.
.*~*.
"Marullo?" The voice above me is hesitant, and I bury my tool into the soil and look up. Tugal is above me at the lip of the hole, and I realize that I've dug way too far down. My arms hurt. My legs hurt. I don't feel like stopping, but I might hit a gas line if I keep going. I feel a flash of pity at my brother's distressed state.
"What... what happened while I was asleep? Holywood and Aegan are fighting over burning the last of our food- those Nectar Pods the predator touched. I thought we threw those out, but somehow they're back. Muttart climbed up the wall and left tracks everywhere, and he won't come down because he's still mad about last night. Cleo's locked herself in the bathroom and won't stop crying and vomiting. She searched the net for something and nobody can get through to her now. She mentioned the predator wanted something terrible from you, but that's all I could understand through the door. And you're out here destroying the gardens?"
"I was in my office all day. Food distribution is back on track for now, but who knows how long that'll last. It was stressful, and this is how I'm handling it." I began. I clacked my mandibles and ran my feelers over my antennae.
Formi, I'm filthy.
"Why destroy the gardens? And the hole?"
"The old boss's taste in décor was tacky. I'm sprucing it up. Oh! The Head of Agriculture is still with us. He approved my promotion, so I'm now the new Regional Agricultural Advisor." I rubbed at my face, my antennae twitching aggressively once more now that I'm not putting my entire focus onto tearing asunder this pathetic excuse of a garden.
"I'm making a burrow in case we need to hide the kids outside the building. I've already made two others in case we need to retreat through the back and into the next property."
"What did the predator do? Are you okay?"
I kicked at some loose soil before stretching my legs and scuttling out of the hole. I pulled myself up and fruitlessly wiped at the filth coating my carapace. "I'm not okay. Nobody is okay, or we wouldn't be here Tugal. We wouldn't need to worry about predators, or pests, or starving, or the humans, or each other if we were okay. For once, our predator didn't do anything wrong."
Tugal became alert, his mandibles clicking quietly as he waited for me to continue.
"There was a Tilfish that left the swarm. He went into one of the predator nests to talk. They didn't hurt him- the humans are too patient to eat the first ones that come to them, but after he left some witnesses told the swarm about it." How I really felt about the matter was slipping through with every single errant twitch I couldn't control. We were not supposed to be the monsters in this story. We were not supposed to be so susceptible to our wicked past. We were civilized!
I lowered my voice. "A group took him away from the city and tore him apart while he was still alive. They tried to feed him to Bark Saws, Tugal."
"Are you certain the story wasn't deception?" Tugal whispered back. "It's what they're known for."
I flicked my antennae in confirmation.
"Maybe... maybe they were defending themselves. Don't look at me like that, how they did it was sick. I hope they're screened and dealt with properly; we can't have people doing that in these times. It's no excuse. I'm just trying to understand it." Tugal stated, making my innards twist. "But these predators we're facing hunt through social deception. They're tricky, and the more of us they corrupt the more susceptible the swarm gets. That man, he could've done untellable damage. I just... I'm sorry you had to hear that. We have to stand strong against them, but we can't lose ourselves doing so."
Tugal watched me for a moment more, then gently prodded me: "...now, why the burrows? What else happened?"
I swallowed, my mandibles clicking repeatedly as I tried to reign in my thoughts. It was hard to speak suddenly, and I gripped my feelers until my claws started scraping into my chitin. "Where does that leave Muttart?"
Tugal flinched and his mandibles flexed. "No. Marullo, no."
"He's not afraid of them, Tugal!" I hissed quietly, feelers trembling. "He isn't! How do I help him? How long can I keep him here before he's too curious and sneaks out? What if someone sees him? What if Cleo finds out? He's not a threat: he's still a child!"
"Marullo, he'll be fine." My brother stated firmly, gripping my arms. "Nobody's going to touch him. We just need to talk to him- he doesn't understand what predators are capable of."
"And what about us?" I buzzed back. "What are we capable of? How can normal people do that?"
"It's fear, Marullo. Fear breaks us. You freeze when you're terrified. Others abandon the ones they love. Some... some fight back. Everyone goes crazy when threatened, and those people will pay for what they did."
Too many things flashed through my head at once. It felt like I was boiling.
"It's not just them, Tugal. Someone down in the residential area was watching the predators last night. He asked about him." My brother's feelers tightened on my arms, and he grew still. "They asked about me as well, and I think they believe I'm a threat. They're no different than the people that mutilated that poor man."
"How many? What did you say?"
"Two, at least. They didn't give their names. I didn't tell them anything about us. We can't trust anyone else to keep quiet. One word to the wrong person and we're all dead. Our chance at making this right dies. I told them off, but I don't think it'll be enough."
"They might come back because of that."
"What was I to say? Was I supposed to advertise that we're one of the last resistance networks left?"
My brother's grip loosened and he stepped away, antennae flicking with concern. "I can figure this out. We'll... I'll set up a watch throughout the day with the exterminators. If they're on hand if a mob shows up, one of them in their gear should dissuade any further action. They won't get to you or Muttart. You did good. Can you- please rest. Go clean up, you'll scare Holywood and Muttart."
I twitched my mandibles a few times, looking at the ruins of a once barely acceptable garden. "Let me tidy up back here. I have to order flowers and a few trees, and work on other gardens in the public view. I guess that part can wait." I tacked on quickly, trying not to flinch under Tugal's sharp gaze.
"I'll go out to the market and pick up food afterwards. We shouldn't need to worry about basic necessities."
"If you're up for it. Be watchful out there" Tugal warned softly. I appreciated his concern, and bobbed my head wordlessly. He paused a moment, and asked quietly: "How did the predator come across that crime?"
"I... I don't know."
Tugal sighed quietly. "How did it affect it?"
I paused, wondering why Tugal cared. Absently, I ducked my head in thought. "It's furious. I... I almost want to say bitter. We got into a fight over the Bark Saws, and it escalated. It's angry with me, and I need to figure out how to fix that before we lose it."
"We can try and-""
"No." I interrupt, surprising my brother. His antennae raise, and I continue. "Because I've been handing off the conversation to you and the others, we accidentally crossed it. If I had been the one to talk to it first instead of you, I could've avoided starting the argument with the Bark Saw. Cleo, Aegan, Zoil- they're hostile towards it and it believes I talk like that now. It feels threatened. I need to do this on my own and try and fix it. I can bring it back to us."
Tugal buzzed quietly, thinking. "Okay. Get yourself cleaned up first. Give it some time to calm down and go bring back some groceries. I'll talk with the others and get them back on track. I think our window to do this is closing, Marullo. If we can't get this human the risks we took will be for naught. Every other option will be riskier if this falls apart."
"I know. I won't let you down."

I am selling my entire personal collection. 95% of these were purchased new by me. Immediately after purchase I put them into the plastic protectors and haven't removed them since. None are heavily damaged (bending, major dents, multiple large scratches, etc.). There may be tiny dents, scratches, and the odd spine slash here and there. When you are ready to purchase I will let you know if I see any noticeable damage, however minor or major.
 
These are all used and opened and none contain the digital code or j-card. The vast majority contain all the original discs but a few might be missing the regular blu-ray. Most discs have never been played but I have watched a few once or twice. No issues while playing any of them.
 
I will ship for free via Media Mail. If you would prefer I ship using First Class or something else we can work out an extra fee. I would prefer to use PayPal F&F but will accept G&S if you insist. I will ship with the plastic protector (or with the slipcover that originally came with the SteelBook) and I will ship securely in a box with lots of bubble wrap (see picture below).
(https://imgur.com/a/tfyky1A)
 
Prices are somewhat firm but it's hard to say what a lot of these are worth so feel free to make an offer. The more you buy the better deal I can give you. 10% off (possibly more) if you buy 2 and it only goes up from there. I would prefer to keep most of the collections together for now but could sell individually for the right price.
 
Proof (https://imgur.com/a/UOAZ2UL). If you want more assurance I have 224 transactions in DigitalCodeSELL (check my post history). I can also link you my eBay page if that is allowed. 3.6K items sold with 100% positive feedback.
 

Metal Tin SteelBook Collections (https://imgur.com/a/tzS3F1q)

Title	Retailer	Price
Game of Thrones Complete Collection (4K)		SOLD
The Hobbit Trilogy (4K)	Best Buy	$100
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (4K)	Best Buy	$125
Mad Max Complete Collection (4K)	Zavvi	$100
Monsterverse 4 Film Collection (Empty Tin)		SOLD

 

4K SteelBooks (Collections) (https://imgur.com/a/3J3XUjU)

Title	Retailer	Total SteelBooks	Price
Bad Boys 1-3	Best Buy	2	$45
Back to the Future 1-3	Best Buy	3	$100
Bond 1-5 (Craig)	Best Buy, FNAC	5	$140
Cars 1-2	Best Buy	2	$40
Dark Knight Trilogy	Zavvi	3	$130
DCEU 1-12	Best Buy + Amazon.es + Zavvi	12	$450
Equalizer 1-2	Best Buy	2	$45
Finding Nemo/Dory			SOLD
Frozen 1-2	Best Buy	2	$75
Godfather 1-3	Best Buy	3	$60
Godzilla + Godzilla vs Kong	Best Buy	2	$60
Halloween (78, 18, 21, 22)	Best Buy	4	$165
The Hitman's Bodyguard 1-2	Best Buy	2	$40
How to Train Your Dragon 1-3			SOLD
The Hunger Games 1-4	Best Buy	4	$70
The Incredibles	Best Buy	2	$90
Indiana Jones 1-3	Best Buy	3	$70
Indiana Jones 1-4	Best Buy	4	$55
Jack Reacher 1-2	Best Buy	2	$75
John Wick 1-3	Best Buy	2	$60
Jumanji 1-3	Best Buy	3	$55
Jurassic World 1-6	Best Buy	2	$70
Kingsman 1-3	Best Buy	3	$50
The Lion King (94,19)	Best Buy	2	$50
Maleficent 1-2	Best Buy + Zavvi	2	$45
MCU 1-30	Best Buy	30	$1200
Matrix 1-4	Best Buy	2	$95
Men in Black 1-4	Best Buy	2	$40
Monster's Inc/University			SOLD
Mulan (98, 20)	Best Buy	2	$70
A Quiet Place 1-2	Best Buy	2	$50
Scream (96, 22)	Best Buy	2	$40
Sherlock Holmes 1-2			SOLD
The Shining/Doctor Sleep	Best Buy	2	$150
Sicario 1-2	Best Buy	2	$70
Sonic the Hedgehog 1-2	Best Buy	2	$40
Space Jam 1-2	Best Buy	2	$35
Star Wars 1-9 + Solo & Rogue One	Best Buy + Zavvi + FNAC	11	$500
Terminator (91, 19)	Best Buy	2	$35
Top Gun 1-2	Best Buy	2	$75
Toy Story 1-4	Best Buy	4	$100
Trolls 1-2	Best Buy	2	$35
Venom 1-2	Best Buy	2	$40
Wreck-It-Ralph 1-2	Best Buy	2	$45
Zombieland 1-2	Best Buy	2	$30

 

Mondo X SteelBooks (https://imgur.com/a/76drd4b)

Title	Retailer	Mondo #	Price
Boyhood (HD)	Best Buy Canada	#002	$25
Nightcrawler (HD)			SOLD
Ghost in the Shell (HD)	Best Buy	#018	$15
It (HD)	Amazon.it	#022	$30
Friday the 13th (HD)	Amazon.it	#023	$25
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (HD)	Amazon.it	#025	$50
Justice League (HD)	Amazon.it	#026	$25
300 (HD)	Amazon.it	#028	$25
Wreck-It-Ralph (HD)	Zavvi	#034	$30
Avengers (4K)	FNAC	#039	$35
Doctor Strange (4K)	Zavvi	#041	$45
Black Panther (4K)	FNAC	#042	$40
Captain America: The First Avenger (4K)	Zavvi	#043	$40
Thor (4K)	Zavvi	#045	$40
Ant-Man (4K)	Zavvi	#047	$40
Iron Man 2 (4K)			SOLD
Blade Runner: 2049 (4K)	FNAC	#049	$100
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (4K)	Zavvi	#050	$40
Thor: The Dark World (4K)	Zavvi	#051	$40
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (4K)	Zavvi	#052	$40
Avengers: Age of Ultron (4K)	Zavvi	#053	$40
Avengers: Infinity War (4K)			SOLD
Avengers: Endgame (4K)			SOLD

 

4K SteelBooks (Individual Movies) (https://imgur.com/a/RvIWYiY)

Title	Retailer	Price
21 & 22 Jump Street	Best Buy	$30
300	Best Buy	$65
3:10 to Yuma	Best Buy	$20
Air Force One	Best Buy	$25
Alien Covenant	Best Buy	$20
Almost Famous	Best Buy	$45
Animal House	Best Buy	$25
Apollo 13	Best Buy	$40
Baby Driver	Best Buy	$30
Babylon	Best Buy	$30
Beauty and the Beast (1991)	Best Buy	$50
Beetlejuice	Best Buy	$40
Blade Runner: The Final Cut		SOLD
Bloodshot	Best Buy	$30
The Blues Brothers	Best Buy	$45
The Bourne Complete Collection	Best Buy	$60
Boyz N the Hood	Best Buy	$60
Brave	Best Buy	$25
A Bug's Life	Best Buy	$45
Bullet Train	Best Buy	$30
Bumblebee	Best Buy	$30
Carlito's Way	Best Buy	$30
Cinderella (2017)		SOLD
A Clockwork Orange	Best Buy	$30
Cold Pursuit	Zavvi	$50
Coming to America	Best Buy	$15
The Dark Tower	Best Buy	$15
Deadpool 2	Best Buy	$20
The Deer Hunter		SOLD
District 9	Best Buy	$45
Downton Abbey	Best Buy	$15
Dracula	Best Buy	$25
Dune (1984)	Zavvi	$35
Dune (2021)	Best Buy	$35
Edge of Tomorrow	Best Buy	$55
Encanto	Best Buy	$40
Ex Machina	Zavvi	$40
Frankenstein	Best Buy	$30
Free Guy		SOLD
Forrest Gump	Best Buy	$40
Gattaca	Best Buy	$25
Gemini Man	Best Buy	$15
Ghost in the Shell (1995)	Best Buy	$20
Gladiator	Best Buy	$100
Godzilla (1998)	Best Buy	$25
The Good Dinosaur		SOLD
Goodfellas	Best Buy	$70
The Goonies	Best Buy	$50
Grease	Best Buy	$45
The Green Mile	Best Buy	$30
Groundhog Day		SOLD
Hacksaw Ridge		SOLD
Heat	Best Buy	$50
Home Alone	Best Buy	$40
Howard the Duck	Best Buy	$35
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)	Best Buy	$80
The Hurt Locker	Best Buy	$30
I Am Legend	Zavvi	$45
Inception	Best Buy	$80
Inglorious Basterds	Best Buy	$25
Inside Out	Best Buy	$35
Interstellar	Best Buy	$65
The Invisible Man (1933)	Zavvi	$25
The Invisible Man (2020)	Best Buy	$25
It (2017)	Best Buy	$25
It's a Wonderful Life	Best Buy	$20
Jaws	Best Buy	$35
Joker	Best Buy	$40
The Jungle Book (2016)		SOLD
Jungle Cruise	Best Buy	$25
Kick-Ass	Best Buy	$35
King Kong (2005)	Best Buy	$30
Knives Out	Best Buy	$50
La La Land	Best Buy	$20
Last Action Hero	Best Buy	$25
The Last Duel	FNAC	$85
Lawrence of Arabia		SOLD
Léon: The Professional	Best Buy	$65
Lightyear	Best Buy	$25
The Little Mermaid	Zavvi	$45
Logan	Zavvi	$50
Looper	Zavvi	$45
Luca	Best Buy	$55
Mad Max: Fury Road	Best Buy	$55
Mary Poppins Returns	Best Buy	$20
The Meg	Best Buy	$15
Mission Impossible: Fallout	Best Buy	$20
Moana	Best Buy	$30
Moonfall	Best Buy	$25
Morbius	Best Buy	$25
Mortal Engines	Zavvi	$20
The New Mutants	Zavvi	$40
Nightmare Alley	Best Buy	$35
Nope	Best Buy	$25
The Northman	Zavvi	$55
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms	Best Buy	$15
Oblivion	Amazon.fr	$75
Ocean's 8	Best Buy	$15
Old	Best Buy	$15
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood	Best Buy	$20
Onward	Best Buy	$60
Parasite	Zavvi	$35
Passengers	Best Buy	$35
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales	Best Buy	$15
Pokémon Detective Pikachu	Best Buy	$30
Pulp Fiction (Brand New)	Best Buy	$35
The Princess and the Frog	Best Buy	$30
The Punisher	Best Buy	$40
Ratatouille	Best Buy	$70
Raya and the Last Dragon	Best Buy	$50
Rear Window	Best Buy	$35
Red Sparrow	Best Buy	$30
Requiem For a Dream	Best Buy	$40
Reservoir Dogs	Best Buy	$20
Robocop (1987)	Best Buy	$45
Rocketman	Best Buy	$15
Saving Private Ryan		SOLD
Saw (2004)	Best Buy	$30
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World		SOLD
The Secret Life of Pets 2	Best Buy	$15
The Shape of Water	Best Buy	$55
The Shawshank Redemption	Best Buy	$45
Schindler's List	Best Buy	$40
Shooter	Best Buy	$15
Shrek	Best Buy	$40
Shutter Island	Best Buy	$35
Sing	Best Buy	$20
Skyscraper	Best Buy	$20
Soul	Best Buy	$60
Spartacus	Best Buy	$65
Speed	Best Buy	$60
Spies in Disguise	Best Buy	$20
The Spine of Night	Best Buy	$15
A Star is Born	Best Buy	$40
The Sting	Best Buy	$25
Super 8	Best Buy	$25
Tangled	Best Buy	$65
The Ten Commandments	Best Buy	$25
Tenet	Best Buy	$20
The Thing	Amazon.it	$50
Total Recall	Best Buy	$35
The Town	Best Buy	$70
True Romance	Best Buy	$20
Turning Red	Best Buy	$20
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent	Best Buy	$35
Unbreakable	Best Buy	$40
Uncharted	Best Buy	$25
Unforgiven	Zavvi	$40
Universal Soldier	Best Buy	$20
Us	Best Buy	$20
Vertigo	Best Buy	$35
Wall-E	Best Buy	$100
War of the Worlds		SOLD
Warrior	Best Buy	$20
West Side Story	Best Buy	$25
Who Framed Roger Rabbit	Zavvi	$40
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory	Amazon.it	$35
The Wizard of Oz	Best Buy	$70
The Wolf Man (1941)	Best Buy	$15
The Wolf of Wall Street	Best Buy	$15
Zootopia	Best Buy	$25

 

Regular Blu-ray SteelBooks (https://imgur.com/a/i8u4gnU)

Title	Retailer	Price
The Breakfast Club	Best Buy	$15
Cinderella	Best Buy	$15
Django Unchained	Best Buy	$15
Ex Machina	Zavvi	$45
Plaines, Trains, and Automobiles	Best Buy	$15

 

TV Show SteelBooks (https://imgur.com/a/CR27Ciu)

Title	Retailer	Price
Chernobyl (4K)	Best Buy	$70
House of the Dragon S1 (4K)	Best Buy	$35
Westworld S2 (4K)	Best Buy	$55
Westworld S3 (4K)	Best Buy	$55

Hello there people. Hope you all are making it through life ok. Been rough around here for a while now, and I'm just really wishing I had that someone to experience it with. Doesn't help when the last few relationships have had major red flags I should have avoided 😂
A little about me: I'm 30, live in NC but born in Virginia. Been in too many long distance relationships to want another one, so I'd prefer someone within a state away. I'm a metal head, but dabble into other genres. I'm a big nerd too (Disney, Marvel, Star Wars, Anime, DBZ). I'm a pretty unique one 😂😂
Dark sense of humor, cuss like a sailor too. Not one to get offended. I'm also a conservative, so if you're really big into politics and what not, just know that's the side I'm on with all that. I'm also a Christian man and that won't be swayed either. Not looking for a party, bar girl. Definitely want someone ready for settling down and a lifelong commitment.
I'm tall, long black hair with an undercut, rocking a dad bod out here 😂😂 green eyes, a few tattoos. There is Scandinavian in my blood line, so think nerdy Viking and we're there lol.
Not looking for a certain person in particular. The only things I can't work with are being addicted to any drugs, including 420 (it gives me major migraines to even smell anymore), being an alcoholic, party scene goer, or someone who would be against my religion.
I guess I've talked on enough, so hopefully this will reach someone! Have a great night!

As the night settled in, casting its eerie shadows across the room, a sense of unease gripped me. It was the kind of night that seemed pregnant with secrets, where every creak and whisper held a sinister undertone. I sat alone in my dimly lit study, surrounded by stacks of books and the faint scent of musty pages, contemplating the stories I had heard—the tales of horror and the supernatural that had haunted the very fabric of my being. Little did I know that on this particular night, I would become a protagonist in a story that defied explanation.
It began innocently enough, with a peculiar dream that invaded my slumber. In this dream, I found myself wandering through a desolate forest, a thick mist obscuring my vision. The silence was deafening, broken only by the distant howl of a lone wolf. As I walked deeper into the woods, an unsettling feeling washed over me—a sensation of being watched, of unseen eyes peering into my soul. It was a presence I could not shake, even as I awakened in my bed, drenched in a cold sweat.
Shaken but determined to dismiss it as a mere figment of my imagination, I rose from my bed and made my way to the kitchen for a glass of water. The floorboards creaked under my weight, adding an unnerving soundtrack to the darkened house. As I reached the kitchen, I froze, my hand poised above the faucet. There, in the dim glow of moonlight filtering through the window, I saw it—a figure standing in the corner, shrouded in darkness.
My heart raced as I fumbled for the light switch, illuminating the room. But as the warm light flooded the space, the figure vanished, leaving nothing but an eerie echo in the air. The encounter left me unnerved, questioning my own sanity. Had my mind conjured this apparition, or was something more sinister at play?
Days turned into nights, and with each passing moment, the supernatural occurrences intensified. Objects inexplicably moved from their resting places, whispers echoed through empty hallways, and the temperature plummeted in certain areas of the house, despite the absence of drafts. My nights became sleepless, fraught with a sense of impending doom that no amount of logical reasoning could dispel.
Seeking answers, I delved deep into research, poring over books that chronicled the occult, searching for clues to the malevolent force that had invaded my life. The more I learned, the more I realized that I was not alone in my plight. Countless tales from across the ages told of similar hauntings, of unseen forces that fed on fear and misery, tormenting their victims until their very souls withered away.
In my quest for understanding, I reached out to paranormal experts, hoping they could shed light on my torment. They arrived armed with equipment, their faces etched with skepticism and curiosity. As we ventured through the labyrinthine corridors of my haunted home, their devices flickered and beeped, detecting unusual energy fluctuations that defied scientific explanation. Yet, their presence seemed to stoke the ire of the supernatural entity that plagued me, as if it resented our intrusion into its domain.
Night after night, I confronted the malevolent force, engaging in a psychological battle that wore away at my sanity. Sleep eluded me as the entity whispered its macabre promises, each word dripping with malice. I saw shadows dance along the walls, contorted figures lurking just beyond the periphery of my vision, and heard disembodied voices urging me to surrender to the darkness. It was a relentless assault on my psyche, eroding the barriers between reality and nightmare.
But even in the depths of despair, a flicker of determination burned within
me. I refused to succumb to the clutches of this otherworldly evil. Armed with ancient rituals and incantations, I sought to banish the entity back to the abyss from which it had emerged.
The night of the final confrontation arrived, a storm raging outside my home, mirroring the turmoil within. Armed with salt, sage, and my unwavering will, I ventured into the heart of the darkness that plagued me. Chanting the ancient words, I confronted the malevolent force head-on, challenging its dominance over my life.
An indescribable battle ensued—a battle of wills and of faith. With each incantation, the air crackled with energy, and the walls trembled with fury. I could feel the entity's desperation, its grip on reality slipping as my resolve strengthened. And then, in one climactic moment, the room exploded with blinding light, banishing the darkness that had haunted me for so long.
As the light faded, I stood alone, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. The house, once a den of horrors, now basked in tranquility. The entity, defeated, had retreated to the realm from which it came, leaving me scarred but victorious.
That night, I slept soundly for the first time in months, knowing that I had conquered the unexplainable. But in the darkest corners of my mind, I wondered if my victory was truly complete, or if another horror awaited its turn to grip my soul. Only time would tell.

I'm a bartender. I work on the night shift at our local bar, the Barracuda.
Work for me was never dull, it was always an odd customer with an even more odd drink followed by some time completely alone, perfect to work on my stories. The more strange a person was, the more inspired I felt.
The door opened, it's little bell signaling me that a new customer was waiting.
"Welcome to the Barracuda, what is it going to be?" I said, turning to face the stranger I was going to serve that night.
"Irish Coffee." The stranger in question was a woman. She was wearing a coat that looked too large for her and below a dark hoodie.
"Long night?" I asked, preparing the coffee.
"Something like that." Was her answer. "Do you have a radio or a TV in here?"
I pointed at the radio at the far right of the counter while looking for the whiskey.
She goes to the radio and starts messing a little with it. The result was one of those true crime shows filled with the craziest stories.
"The artist is the name the internet gave to this mysterious killer. The crime scenes left by this monster are something that lingers between the horror and beauty, with its victims being placed as some sort of sick and twisted sculpture. Yesterday, a new victim was found. This time, the body copied the Venus de Milo." The radio lady talked with a stern voice.
"The world is really fucked up, you should be careful." I said, placing the drink in front of her.
"Should I? I think I'm pretty safe." She starts drinking while fixating her eyes on the radio.
"The cops found both missing arms and the left hand, but the right hand of the victim is still missing." The lady on the radio said.
"I love when my work is recognized." She played with her now empty cup. "And you, Ian. Do you like it when your work gets recognized?"
"I prefer to stay without fame, honestly." I said, while keeping my eyes on the dishes that I had to clean.
"Really? But your stories are great. You need more attention. Can you keep a secret Ian?" She says, getting up from her chair.
"What happens in the Barracuda stays at the Barracuda."
"Good, cause I didn't want to hurt you. Here's a little tip for your silence." She places a bloodied newspaper on the counter and leaves through the main door.
Are you reading this story?

edit: 3-4 *months* of finasteride use.
I know I'm a responder because about a decade ago, i used minox on my face and had great results. Back then no one was really talking about derma rolling so it was just minox twice a day. Significant growth at the 3-4 month mark like many people experience. I kept it short but I grew it out a little bit and it looked nice. But i ended up only using it for about 10 months due to a long hospital stay and lost a lot of my gains. I decided to not keep going with it after and just kept my facial hair short.
I decided about 2 years ago to give it another try, along with dermarolling. Again, explosion of growth at the 3-4 month mark, steady gains, all looking good. But then I went through a significant shed on my scalp that freaked me out. Even though I knew minox could cause some shedding on the head, this was pretty severe. I'm also in my thirties and was worried it was MPD. After seeing some guys say they use fin and still get results from minox on their beards, I figured I would give it a try at a low dose.
Long story short, fin nuked my sex drive even at .5mg twice a week. I was only on it for about 3-4 months and stopped taking it. My sex drive bounced back 100% after about 2 months, but I lost my beard gains. That was over a year ago. I've been on minox ever since. Not militant about it but usually 2x a day and always at least once a day. Dermarolling twice a week religiously at first but now probably once a week. BJCO after rolling.
My facial hair looks like shit. Terribly uneven thick/bare spots, gaps and patches that had previously filled in. It's also made both my head and facial hair significantly darker to the point 3 different family members independently asked me about it, so it's having *some* effect. When I clean shave, I still have 5'oclock shadow like a dude who has a massively thick beard/dark hair but I don't. It's only in uneven spots. It just looks weird. I've always had decent side/cheek coverage and have been able to grow chops since I was a teenager. It's my goatee that has always sucked.
I've had some new growth, like my mustache has never connected and the right side of my chin has started to grow a handle bar up towards it that looks pretty natural, but the left side is making a pathetic attempt in comparison lmao. Underlip sides are bare, mustache is weak, and my chin only grows on the sides and underneath. The center chin is pretty much bare where I used to be getting solid gains with it climbing up towards the center under my bottom lip.
Is it possible finasteride somehow did this? I don't know what else would be the cause, but like I said, my sex drive bounced back so I don't think it would be permanently nuked DHT from the fin. At first I just thought it was a shed but it's been multiple months now. I've considered the possibility of having fake minox so I've tried different brands. I'm in the US and usually use the Kirkland brand off of Amazon but recently I've also been using the Regoxidine 5% foam, too - usually the foam in the morning because it dries faster and the liquid at night.
Anyone have an idea of why this is happening? Has anyone had a similar experience?
tl;dr known responder been using minox for at least 2 years, used fin for 3-4 months and lost gains over a year ago and haven't bounced back, trying to figure out why.

^{11th Moon, 200 AC Blackwater Bay The Devil in I}

You and I can't decide which of us was taken for granted
Make amends
Some of us are destined to be outlived

The brine sang for sacrifice, waves cut into rock like razors carving into supple flesh. The spears of the merling king jutted high from the murky depths. A fog laid over the waters, the mist blurring where the sea ended and the long horizon began. The gentle caress of the sea upon the landscape was accompanied by the solemn whisper of wind, crisp and clear. The air hung heavy with humidity, pregnant with the promise of a storm. Salt and tide-kissed rock brought the scent of the waves up into the skies, the scent of Blackwater, of Dragonstone, of home. Today though, this high up, a new smell wafted up and got caught in the thinner air above the world. Decay. Rot. Death.
Atop her dragon, Aerea almost felt pity for the Carons. And yet, how could she? They had brought this upon themselves with their foolishness: their desire to appease, their willingness to send good innocent men to their deaths. And now, it would send them to their own deaths. She would see to it that they would be reduced to ash, a death far more kind than the ones they deserved.
The monstrous she-dragon's descent brought the wind with her and surged the tempo of the waves to a fever pitch. A deep breath in, and Lightweaver's fiery breath illuminated the gloomy skies, her form ever clearer in the sky as the mist turned to steam. A torrent of searing flames erupted from the queen's gaping mouth, streaking through the air like a comet, leaving a trail of scorching destruction in her wake as the breath collided with the force of one hundred battering rams. The ship that lay before Aerea found its sails and masts catching fire, wood cracking, splintering, and buckling under the intense heat. Men were crushed under the weight of a banner they had just been paid to carry. They had not killed her son. But they would burn all the same.
Each ship reduced to ashes brought a measure of solace, a sense of justice served. The crackling of flames and the agonized cries of those responsible for her son's murder were a twisted melody to her ears—a symphony of vengeance. Her heart sang with delight, aflame with glee as the power to end life rest in her hands. It was a dizzying thing, this feeling. Aerea had never been drunk a day in her life, but it felt almost intoxicating to behold the destruction that she had wrought.
Even as her fleet filled the greedy ocean's gullet, their oaken, hulking vessels lost to the Caron's lot, her ships surged on despite every loss. They surrounded, they captured, and she burned. The Bay became a stage for her revenge, and she would take her bows as its lead performer in this act of wrath. Full of ravenous hatred, Aerea found no peace, scouring the waters for any survivors who may have spared themselves from her ire. They would burn anew had she found any.
Upon seeing that none survived her fury, Aerea was most pleased. That sickening plague upon her eyes, that Caron fleet, teetered upon the edge of oblivion before succumbing to the inescapable pull of the dark waters below. The abyss consumed, her hunger for vengeance satiated.
Until she saw Urrax, rising high from above Dragonstone. And then she was pleased no longer.