Takeshi Hongo, Kamen Rider Ichigo

"Rider… Henshin!"

♫ Let's Go!!! Rider Kick ♫ - ♫ Kamen Rider no Uta ♫
Takeshi Hongo was a genius biochemist and motorcycle racer working at Johnan University in Tokyo when he was kidnapped by the evil secret organization Shocker. Hongo was transformed into a cyborg intended to serve Shocker as a super soldier in their quest for world dominance. Rebelling against his would-be masters, Hongo takes the moniker of Kamen Rider and vows to fight for justice, a promise that takes him across the world and inspires generations of successors to follow in his footsteps.
Feats will be marked with the source.
Note for scaling: Shocker Combatmen are humans who have been enhanced by Shocker cybernetics, though not to the extent of the elite Shocker cyborgs like Kamen Rider or the various kaijin he fights. The Kamen Rider Official Zukan says that they have several times the physical ability of regular humans.

Untransformed

While superhuman thanks to Shocker's cybernetics, Hongo can't access his full power without transforming.

Strength

• Breaks a stone pillar^V33
• Seemingly breaks a headstone^E78
• Snaps out of chains
• Tears out of manacles^E53
• Accidentally rips off a sink knob^E1
• Breaks out of restraints^V34
• Swiftly takes down two Shocker Combatmen^E53

Durability/Resistance

Blunt

• Takes several hits from Ambassador Hell who can swing and throw a cyborg and damage the ground
• Takes hits from Canarycobra's Cobra Hand, which breaks an I-beam and reinforced concrete in half^E89
• Takes hits from Spiderond, who can burrow through the ground^E57
• Takes a long fall off of a cable car^E71
• Shrugs off getting hit by a car^E95

Other

• Immobilized but otherwise unaffected by a Gel Shocker trap that lowers his temperature to absolute zero^E97
• Hardly slowed down by nerve gas^E4
• Recovers from sleeping gas 10x faster than a normal human^E6
• Withstands soundwaves that damage his apartment and blow apart a Shocker Combatman^E64
• Has his blood sucked by Mosquilas, who can drain a normal man down to a skeleton, and is still in fighting shape^E72
• Unaffected by Roseranga's rose, which contains a potent poison that knocks out and mind controls its victims^E75
• Unharmed after being shocked with 100,000 volts by Jellywolf^E82

Speed/Agility

• Dodges Cicadaminga's soundwaves^E64
• Dodges Spider Man's dart^E1
• Ducks Gilliera's dart^E56
• Dodges finger-mounted darts from a group of Shocker Combatmen^E1
• Swats away a thrown knife^E4
• Swats away a thrown sword^E83
• Dodges a knife thrown by an unseen foe^E78
• Dodges a ring thrown by Worm Man^E59
• Dodges Fiddler Crabking's explosive foam^E73
• Dodges Ratcondor's attacks with damaged eyes^E90
• Dodges attacks from Namazuguiller^E61
• Dodges attacks from Guilgaras^E52
• Dodges Sea Dragon I's lashes^E76
• Dodges a whip strike from Ambassador Hell then jumps up to a balcony^E56
• Avoids Shocker Combatmen trying to hit him with motorcycles then jumps to the top of a hill^E53
• Jumps to the top of a hill^E93
• Jumps over Cockroach Man onto a car^E55
• Jumps from his motorcycle to the canopy of a truck he's chasing^E64

Skill/Misc

Combat

• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen armed with swords^E83
  • Gel Shocker Combatmen are much stronger than Shocker Combatmen^E80
• Defeats Destron Combatmen armed with spears^V33
• Defeats Gel Shocker Combatmen^E95
• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen on motorcycles^E83
• Even while he's sick and in his 60s he can throw down with human goons and Shocker Combatmen^KO
• Throws a sword into a Gel Shocker Combatman's heart^E83

Biochemistry/Science

• Performs surgery on Shiro Kazami to turn him into the cyborg Kamen Rider V3^V1
• Analyzes a mysterious powder and identifies it as scales from a foreign butterfly^E56
• Analyzes a thorn of Roseranga's rose and creates an antidote for the poison it contains^E75
• Creates a vaccine for a plague engineered by Gel Shocker^E90
• Analyzes coffee to determine what kind of poison was in it^V1

General

• Has 600 IQ and superb athleticism according to Shocker^E1
• Decodes a Shocker message^E54
• Correctly deduces that a man was killed with a lightning bolt after examining a piece of his clothes that was left behind^E82
• Sennin says that his spiritual presence complete dwarfs Kamen Rider Ghost's and he is able to instantly tell that Ghost is dead^KO
• Hears an electric current emanating from a man^E82
• Uses his lighter and some money to destroy a cache of poison capsules while stuck in a cell^E56
• Sneaks up on a Shocker Combatman, takes him out, then infiltrates the group while disguised as him^E6
• Sneaks up on a Gel Shocker Combatman ^E86
• Somehow escapes a room filled with poison gas^JT
• Escapes a Gel Shocker trap^E80
• Stops his breathing to play dead^E82
• Climbs Mount Fuji^JT
• Prepared landmines in a dune just in case Shocker planned to ambush him^E79

Original Form

Kamen Rider's original form from early in the series.
Stats Page (Kamen Rider Official Zukan)

Strength

Rider Kick

• Kills Spider Man with his first Rider Kick^E1
• Kicks a hillside, knocking down rocks^E13
• Breaks rock with a kick^E3
• Kills Sarracenian^E4
• Kills Mantis Man^E5
• Kills Bee Woman^E8
• Kills Cobra Man^E9
• [Lightning Rider Kick] Kicking with both feet, which he says should double the power, shatters a rock^E13
• [Lightning Rider Kick] Kicks the bomb Tokageron kicked back at him^E13
• Kills Rider World alongside Kamen Rider Blades' finisher^SZ

Throwing

• Throws Shocker Combatmen off of buildings^E2
• [Rider Throw] Kills Bat Man^E2
• [Rider Throw] Kills Cobra Man^E10
• [Rider Scissors] Kills Scorpion Man^E3

Other

• [Rider Chop] Kills Chameleon Man after hitting him with a Rider Kick^E7
• Tears out of iron chains^E1
• Runs straight through a wall in a Shocker base^E13
• Leaps through the ceiling of Shocker's laboratory^E1
• Leaps through the ceiling of a Shocker cell^E7

Durability

• Hit by a rock kicked at him by Tokageron^E13
• A revolver bullet bounces off his chest^E7
• Unharmed by a bomb set off next to him^E5
• Unharmed after stepping on a landmine^E9
• Tumbles down a hill untransformed and reappears at the top unscathed and transformed^E3
• A large amount of electricity is channeled through his body with no damage^E1
• Heals a wound on his hand quickly^E8

Speed/Agility

Dodging/Movement

• Dodges multiple shots from the Danger Light, a laser weapon^E12
• Ducks a thrown knife^E4
• Catches a boomerang thrown by a Shocker Combatman^E12
• Dodges a rock kicked at him by Tokageron^E13
• Dodges a snake arm strike from Cobra Man^E9
• Dodges Cobra Man's fire breath^E10
• Dodges attacks from Shocker Combatmen
• Runs towards a group of Shocker Combatmen, who then lose sight of him before he reappears behind them^E3

Agility

• Leaps a very far distance to engage Shocker minions^E1
• Leaps up to a platform to cut off Man Spider's escape^E1
• Leaps to the roof of an apartment building from the street^E2
• While training, leaps ~49 m^E3
• Leaps up and down a hill^E3
• Jumps up to grab a tree branch^E7
• Jumps up several stories of a building^E9

Skill/Misc

Combat

• Defeats the Revived Monster Corps, made up of 13 revived Shocker cyborgs he had previously killed, all at once^E13
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen^E1
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen all armed with bladed boomerangs^E12
• Beats Bee Woman in a swordfight^E8
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen with a sword
• Leaps onto the shoulders of a Shocker Combatman then takes him down^E3

Accuracy

• Throws a sword to pin a man's arm to a tree^E7
• Throws a sword to cut off Bee Woman's wing^E8
• Throws a sword to hit a Shocker Combatman in the stomach^E8

Senses

• His hearing is many times better than a normal human's^E6
• He can hear sounds from 4 km in all directions, which he uses to track an enemy moving underground^E9
• Hears a conversation inside a hospital from outside^E6
• Tracks the sound a device is emitting back to its source^E8
• He can hear higher frequencies than humans^E8

General

• The transformation into Kamen Rider occurs so quickly that a bomb going off in front of him activates his belt before the explosion can hit him in his untransformed state^E5
• Accurately takes down Shocker Combatmen who are hiding beneath the sand^E3
• Figures out where Chameleon Man is standing while he's invisible in order to hit him^E7
• Dug up Hitler's secret treasure, emptied it into the ocean, then hid himself in the box and somehow buried it again in order to ambush Shocker^E7

Sakurajima

Kamen Rider's upgraded form that he used temporarily, named after the region of Japan it first appeared in. From this form on, Kamen Rider no longer required a wind source to transform and could do so at will.

Strength

Rider Double Kick

All performed with Kamen Rider Nigo

• Kills Snowman^E40
• Kills Ghostar^E41
• Kills Isoguinchack^E49
• Kills Unicornos^E51
• Kills Zanjioh^VS
• Kills Guilgaras^E52

Other

• Beats Arigabari to death^VS
• [Rider Hammer Kick] Kills Pranodon^VS
• Punches out Shocker Combatmen^E52

Durability

• Takes several hits from Kamen Rider Nigo during their fight, including his Rider Kick^E41
• Takes several hits from Ghostar, who's strong enough to lift and throw a large rock^E41
• Takes hits from Dokugander^VS

Speed/Agility

• Dodges blasts from Dokugander^VS
• Dodges attacks from Isoguinchack^E49
• Jumps to the top of a hill^E40
• Jumps into and out of a ravine^VS
• Performs the Rider Wheel with Kamen Rider Nigo^E49

Skill/Misc

• Defeats groups of Shocker Combatmen with a sword^E41
• Has a telepathic link with Kamen Rider Nigo, which Nigo uses to free him of Shocker's mind control^E41
• Disguises himself as a professor^VS

New Kamen Rider Ichigo

Kamen Rider's most used and most iconic form, an upgrade over his previous forms.
Stats Page (Kamen Rider Official Zukan)

Strength

Rider Kick

• Album of killing monsters and making them explode but not causing any significant collateral damage
• Rhinogang says that the Rider Kick is 10x stronger than his own imitation^E66
• Defeats Kamen Rider Kiva^HS
• Hits Kamen Rider Gaim, pushing him back and breaking the rock beneath him until his guard is broken^HS
• Kills the Nazca Dopant L3^FO
• Kills Spiderond, causing an explosion that destroys a nearby building^E57
• Breaks Bearded Dragon's tongue, which broke steel bars^E58
• Kills Worm Man, causing an explosion that destroys Shocker's underwater base^E59
  • Worm Man was given the characteristics of a creature that survived hydrogen bomb testing^E59 (personally, I believe this is in reference to an ability to withstand radiation rather than meaning it's durable enough to survive a nuclear explosion but I would be remiss not to include it)
• Kills Namazuguiller, causing an explosion that destroys a large mirror array and causes Shocker's underground base to cave in^E61
• Kills Gillercricket with a knee, causing an explosion that destroys a nearby building^E69
• Kills Armadig, who withstood Skyrider ramming him with his motorcycle, which can drive through metal doors^GO
• Kills Spiderbaban and Golden Jaguar at the same time^SO
• Destroys a group of Badan Combatroids^HS
• Breaks off Franken Bat's wing^FR
• Kicks Eaglemantis' blade back at him, cutting him in half^E86
• Kicks Catgecko, somehow curing him of the brainwashing/cyborg surgery Gel Shocker performed on him^E88
  • Does it to Cactusbat as well^E96
• [Rider Screw Kick] Breaks through a barred window^E69
• [Rider Lunar Kick] Kills Crowox who withstood a mine^E95
• [Rider Double Kick] Kills Rattlander, launching him back hard enough to carve two small trenches in the ground^DS
• [Rider Double Kick] Overpowers Shocker Greed's blasts, launching him hard enough to damage stone and killing him^LG
• With the other Seven Legendary Riders, knocks over a giant monster^K54
• Joins all Kamen Riders up to Decade in performing a barrage of Rider Kicks that destroy Dai-Shocker's castle^DS

Rider Punch

• Album of killing monsters and making them explode but not causing significant collateral damage
• Shatters a window that can withstand a bazooka blast^E65
• Punches Rattlander into a cave wall hard enough to make a crater^LG
• Punches through a concrete wall^E85
• Overpowers Moreyurtle's shell attack, which broke a tree^E85
• Breaks off Mantiskid's horn^JT

Misc Striking

• Destroys a box truck with Nigo^BT
• Punches the ground, blowing away the Shocker Combatmen surrounding him^BG
• Punches out Gel Shocker Combatmen, when one is still conscious after an explosion that destroys his motorcycle^E80
• Punches Moreyurtle's head, causing it to explode^E85
• Breaks Canarycobra's cobra arm^E89
• Breaks a machine^E54
  • 2^V1
• Breaks manacles^E58
• Breaks a bear trap Taki was caught in^E86
• Breaks chain^E66
• Breaks Crowox's horns^E95
• Chops off Cactusbat's fingers^E96
• Sends a Shocker Combatman flying with a kick^E56
• [Rider Crush] Stomps through the roof of a Shocker base^E60
• [Rider Chop] Breaks the remote control in Squidevil's head^E68
• [Rider Flying Chop] Kills Spiderlion^E87

Throwing

• Album of killing monsters and making them explode but not causing significant collateral damage
• [Rider Head Crusher] Throws Jaguarman over a hill, causing him to explode^E53
• [Rider Hammer] Throws Owl Man to the top of a hill^E60
• [Rider Drill Shoot] Throws Mantiskid, causing an explosion that destroys the Shocker graveyard^E66
• Throws Hedgehozuras up a hill^E62
• Throws Mosquilas a great distance onto a bridge from the river below^E72
• Throws off the Shocker monsters and Combatmen that dog pile him^E66

Other

• Pushes a bus uphill against Rhinobeetron pushing it^E65
• Kills Crabbat by jumping into him^E80
  • Crabbat no sold a collision with New Cyclone^E79
• Overpowers Canarycobra's Cobra Hand^E89
• Catches and pushes back Gaim's sword^HS
• With Kamen Rider Nigo, runs through a door that withstood their punches^E98
• [Rider Head Crusher] Slams Bearded Dragon's head to the ground and causes him to explode^E58
• Jumps off of a cliff with Centigerpede, slamming him to the ground and killing him^E91
• Says that he can easily break metal spikes as he rips two out of the floor^E87
• Swings a stake attached to a rope into a cliffside^E70
• Cuts off Moreyurtle's head with a sword^E85
• With Nigo, tears a metal door out of its frame^S38
• Contributes to the [X Rider Super Five Kick], which results in Franken Bat being kicked onto a pile of monsters that all blow up^FR

Durability

Blunt

• Takes hits from Neo-Shocker's Great Leader, whose strikes make earthquakes that affect Tokyo^K54
• Takes hits from Centigerpede, who overpowers the Rider Kick with a punch^E91
• Takes hits from Shocker Rider 1, who matches him in strength^E92
  • Takes hits from other Shocker Riders who are his physical equals^E94
• Takes hits from Rattlander, who downed Kamen Rider DiEnd with one strike^DS
• Takes hits from Rhinobeetron, who is strong enough to push a bus^E65
• Takes hits from Kamen Rider Sango, who punched a hole in a shipping container and a concrete wall^GP
• Takes hits from Sawsharkus, who can punch through a stone wall, while suffering the effects of a gas designed to destroy cyborgs^E67
• Takes hits from Mantiskid, who punches through a concrete floor^JT
• Takes hits from Bearded Dragon, who breaks through a wall^E66
• Gets thrown down a hill and kicked by Squidevil, who burst through the ground^E68
• Tanks punches from Sea Snake Man^E54
• Takes some blows from Spiderond^E57

Piercing

• Slashed by Kamen Rider Gaim^HS
• Gilliera's dart bounces off his chest^E56
• Uncut by Sea Dragon II's sword arm^E76

Energy

• Blasted by Shocker's Great Leader^LG
• Blasted by giant Ackdos Gill and Warz Gill^SH
• Blasted by Grand Zairus' eye beams that destroy fighter jets^R44
• Blasted by Shocker Greed, who destroyed a wood tower^LG
• Takes Owl Man's x-ray attack which reduces normal humans to skeletons^E60

Heat

• Designed to withstand temperatures of several thousand degrees^E60
• Hit by OOO's Latorahta combo heat blast^LG
• Unharmed by Urchidogma's flamethrower^E78

Explosives

• Withstands Turtle Bazooka blowing up Destron's base with him inside^V1
• Takes a bomb that blows up a bridge and is fine^S38
• Gets blasted by Kingdark^DS
• Tanks a barrage of bombs from Taiho Buffalo that kills all of the cyborgs he was fighting^DM
• Takes one of Hegehozuras' needles which completely destroys a man^E62
• Either escapes or withstands a Shocker building exploding^JT
• Either escapes or withstands Gel Shocker's underwater base exploding^E98

Other

• Takes a point blank nuclear explosion,^V2 then contacts V3 to tell him that he's fine and in Australia^V21 and shows up perfectly fine later^DM
• Hit by Grand Zairus in fireball form, which is over 1000º and destroyed an artificial island
• Fine after being hit by meteorites called down by Shocker, which blew up an observatory and burned a man to death^E68
• Gets shocked by Namazuguiller, who was enhanced from his base electrical charge of 100,000 volts^E61
• Shocked by Jellywolf^E82
• Withstands Badan's Space Break System, which obliterates people and buildings^BT
• Bearded Dragon's venom only makes his body numb where it melts normal people^E58
• Takes extended soundwaves from Gillercricket, which can blow up Combatmen^E69
• Withstands Newtgeth's tongue, which reduced a woman to ash^E77
• Jumps off of a cliff and reappears unharmed^E62
• Jumps off a cliff with Centigerpede, causing it to explode, then shows up fine later
• Falls from a great height inside an ambulance that explodes and emerges some time later stunned but otherwise unharmed^E95

Speed/Agility

Reaction/Dodging

• Dodges Owl Man's x-ray attack^E60
• Jumps out of the blast zone of an explosion as the bomb goes off in front of him^E84
• Dodges gunfire on Cyclone^GP
• Dodges Cicadaminga's soundwaves^E64
• Dodges Gillercricket's soundwaves^E69
• Dodges attacks from Kamen Rider Gaim^HS
• Dodges Moreyurtle's smog while chained to a cross, somehow freeing himself and jumping to the top of a nearby cliff without being seen^E85
• Dodges Turtle Bazooka's missiles^V1
• Dodges Crowox's finger missiles^E95
• Intercepts Shocker Greed's blasts before they can hit Den-O^LG
• Dodges Hedgehozuras' needles^E62
• Dodges Rinhogang's flamethrower^E63
• Dodges Sawsharkus' flamethrower and appears on a ledge above him^E67
• Dodges Anemonaguar's poison^E84
• Dodges Squidevil's attacks^E68
• Dodges Rattlander's attacks^E79
• Dodges an attack from Sea Snake Man^E54
• Dodges Jellywolf's attacks^E82
• Dodges Bearded Dragon's tongue attacks^E58
• Swats away Worm Man's rings^E59
• Catches a grenade thrown by a Shocker Combatman and throws it back^E59
• Dodges Rhinobeetron's foam spray^E65
• Dodges Louscule's acid spray^E74
• Dodges lasers and electricity in order to prepare for a fight^R42

Movement

• Jumps across a rooftop to kick a knife out of Cockroach Man's hand before he can cut a rope^E55
• Jumps to catch a poison capsule thrown by Gilliera before it can hit the water^E56
• Appears from out of nowhere to stop Bosgun mid-swing before he can kill RX^R44

Agility

• Jumps a far distance inland from the coast^E61
• Jumps to the top of a dam^E56
• Jumps to the top of a waterfall after being thrown off^E54
• Jumps onto a helicopter in mid flight
• Jumps around the giant Delzer Great Leader's mountain body^S39
• Jumps from the bottom of a ravine to a bridge^E58
• Jumps from a bridge to a boat in the river below^E72
• Jumps to the top of a hill^E61
• Jumps on top of a building^E69
• Jumps a fair distance to the top of a mansion^E75
• Jumps up a few stories
• Jumps up to a platform^E70
• Jumps off of a building then backflips back up a few stories as soon as he hits the ground^E76
• Flips out of the grasp of some Shocker Combatmen^E54
• Jumps onto Sea Snake Man's shoulders, then jumps both of them into the air, transitioning into suplexing him^E54
• Leaps into the air after Gilliera, transitioning into a rider kick to hit her^E56
• Jumps while being constrained by Anemonaguar's tentacles, kicking off of him to free himself^E84
• Jumps between motorcycles while fighting a group of Shocker Combatmen^E63
• Jumps out of the way while tangled up in rope from Gel Shocker Combatmen, causing them to crash into and kill each other^E84
• Jumps over a fence out of the way of a car^E55
• Jumps to grab a balloon that's floating away^E55
• Leaps to grab Taki after he's thrown^E90
• Leaps to grab a vial thrown by Shocker Rider 1^E92
• Leaps onto a car that's driving away from him
• Jumps onto a roller coaster^E98
• Catches a man that fell from the sky^E95

Skill/Misc

Combat Skill

• Defeats 6 revived monsters he previously killed, all at once^E66
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen with a staff^E55
  • With a sword^E56
• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen with a sword^E83
  • With a staff^E96
• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen^E87
• Beats up some Dustards^FO
• Fights off a group of Shocker Combatmen on horseback^JT
• Defeats Ratcondor while not being able to see^E90
• With Kamen Rider Nigo, tricks the Shocker Riders into destroying each other^E94

Stealth

• Escapes a Shocker trap without being seen by the Shocker forces present^E62
• Either escapes or withstands a Shocker building exploding^JT
• Either escapes or withstands Gel Shocker's underwater base exploding^E98
• Sneaks behind Marshal Machine and frees Kamen Rider Stronger without being seen^S38
• Sneaks into Gel Shocker's school and switches out the drug they were going to feed some kids with flour without being caught^E91
• Sneaks up on Destron Combatmen^V1

General

• Claims that he is always growing stronger^E88
• Has 20x better vision that humans, allowing him to see the footprints left behind by Spiderond, which were invisible to humans^E57
• Throws a sword precisely to destroy a transmitter in Gillercricket's head^E69
• Throws a stake to stab into a monster that he threw into the air^E70
• Uses his scarf to grab onto a window and pull himself up to kick it^E69
• Hits Leechameleon after he turns invisible^E98
• Can make his eyes glow^E79
• Speaks telepathically with V3 alongside Nigo, giving V3 advice in a fight^V2
  • Calls V3 on a radio^BT
• Has a secret base in Arizona^R41
• His and Nigo's presence clears the other Kamen Riders of Shocker's brainwashing^GP
• Once he used something called Rider Power to break a ring he was not able to break with his regular strength^E59

Rider Combinations

Kamen Rider can join his power with other Showa Riders to do whatever the plot calls for perform techniques

• Performs some kind of move with Nigo to paralyze Turtle Bazooka^V2
• Joins power with the other Seven Legendary Riders to enter into the giant Delzer Great Leader's mountain body^S39
• Joins power with the other Seven Legendary Riders and Skyrider to carry a giant monster and a bomb into space^K54
• Performs Rider Synchro with the other Seven Legendary Riders, Skyrider, Super-1, and ZX to stun Ambassador Darkness and destroy Badan's Space Break System^BT
• Performs Rider Synchro with the Showa Riders to change a picture and let a ghost visit his parents before returning to the land of the dead^HS

"As long as evil exists in this world… Kamen Rider will be there to fight for justice!"

Part 3
The landscape changed as Gary prowled through it. It started as the farmland he remembered so well. Small copses of trees began to appear as he moved around, hunting. Between them, individual trees began to appear. The buildings, small houses and sheds, mostly, thinned out as the trees grew thicker. The ground grew steeper and mountains rose around him.
Before long, he was prowling the slopes of a narrow wooded valley. He could see ixlets darting through the woods around him. He glanced down the slope and saw a mix of greasers and Taliban, moving through the trees.
He moved further down the valley, towards the Taliban and greasers. They ignored him, except to keep their distance. That suited Gary just fine, as he was after a different prey.
Down below the greasers, the landscape changed again. The trees thinned out and vanished, replaced by rocky, windswept tundra, dotted by small lakes. He found a ruin there, massive gray stones emerging from the ground.
He moved past the ruin. Trees appeared again, but instead of oak and ceder and ash, he found mangroves and pines and huge ceibos. They came together, getting denser and denser until he stepped out onto a large rock and could see the town of Esteli spread out before him.
He continued on, into the narrow streets. The buildings crowded together, wall to wall. There were signs everywhere; for the shops that dotted the streets, for American companies that selflessly graced the slums of Nicaragua with their business, for local brands, for strip clubs and bars.
The people crowded the streets, competing with the tiny cars and occasional donkey. Gary moved on.
The streets changed. The crowds changed, too. They had darker skin and wore less clothes. Trikes began to appear, enclosed three-wheeled ramblers built around a motorcycle frame. A sign pointed him to Clara Town in English.
This time, Gary paused. He remembered this place. Monrovia, Liberia. On the west coast of Africa. His first contract for the Agency had brought him here. The spook he was here to protect had been a stupid little shit that had ruined his own operation and gotten them into a gunfight. He'd met Drake here, as well. The younger man's bright pink hair had stood out to Gary, a massive cross-section on his gaydar.
He remembered being holed up in a run-down hovel following the fight. Everybody was injured, but nobody had died. Gary was down to two mags, one of them in his rifle and the other half-empty in a pouch on his chest. Drake had offered him a blowjob for the half-empty mag, confirming Gary's suspicions about which way he swung. Gary had handed it over without a word, but as they rode away in a beat up minivan driven by one of their assets, he'd leaned over and asked Drake to pay up, half jokingly.
Well, maybe a quarter jokingly.
That had been a bad day, but far from the worst he'd seen. And not someplace he would find the bugbear.
"Where the fuck are you, ya foggy little goblin?" Gary muttered. This place felt wrong. He remembered what Inanna had said, somewhere else.
"...They're not intelligent, though they can speak."
Gary glanced around. This place... This was not a place of fear. This was a place of a curious, entertaining memory. Frustrating, at the time, and painful as well. But not frightening. Not like those fields where he'd killed the boys.
The bugbear wasn't here, he realized. It hadn't been any of the places he'd been. Instead, it had been sending him away from it. Sending him to places where he'd hunt the thing, while it...
Gary knew where to go.
He pictured the park and began to walk.
He tried to work it out. He was in his own head. He needed to get out, to get back to the real world. He reached out with his magical senses, feeling the world around him. It felt... Delicate. As if it would fall apart at a simple touch. Experimentally, he reached out with a bit of magic. The buildings on one side of the street crumbled.
He pushed out harder, reaching out all around him, tearing the world apart with magic, until he floated in a deep void. From here, he could feel the real world. It was up. He turned his face in that direction and flew.
----
Inanna Williams, Fucking Shit Balls, Motherfucking Cock Sucker
She would not call Jerry. Or Yarm, or Sookie, or anyone else who might be awake right now. But she was getting pretty fucking disgusted with this thing. Suzanne crouched below one of the picnic tables as Inanna held her sword in her hands and kept herself between the bugbear and the girl.
Her sword blazed with fire, of course. Drawing flame from metal was one of the simplest acts of magic, an effect easily imbued into any artifact. And the weapons forged by Grandfather were works of art, pristinely forged and crafted and eager to soak up any enchantments they could. The flames were good, they helped. They weren't the problem.
Keeping magic suffused through her body was the problem.
She'd already moved around more magic today than she had in the last week. The effort had exhausted her. She barely had the strength to hoist her sword. And she was making a continuing effort to keep enough magic in her body to actually hurt the bugbear.
She didn't know how long she could keep this up.
The bugbear lunged again and she whipped her blade up, tip menacing the thing. It growled and hissed and spat, but it had already learned what pain that weapon could inflict.
Inanna glanced over to where Gary had collapsed, only to realize he was not there. His sword and shield lay on the ground, but Gary was gone. She carefully flicked her eyes from the bugbear to different areas of the park, searching for him. She saw no sign of him whatsoever. Gary had vanished.
A grin split her features.
"You are in for a world of hurt, you ugly motherfucker," she said menacingly. The bugbear ignored her, of course. It was a beast, after all.
----
Gary Johnson, Fucking Pissed
He didn't even bother with his weapons. He remembered Inanna's words, and the effect Percy's punches had on the thing. He pulled in his shield, burying it just below his skin. He poured more magic into it, thickening it, strengthening it.
He could feel the tension of the shield as he crept off into the shadows. The bugbear was menacing Inanna, who menaced it right back with her big ass sword. She looked exhausted, like she might fall over at any minute. Too much magic use, Gary thought. The rituals had each taken a toll on her, and he knew how difficult teleporting someone who wasn't touching him was.
He snuck around behind the thing as Inanna said something he didn't catch. He idly wondered why she hadn't called Jerry, but the answer presented itself before the question had even been formed. It was pride, of course. She could not bring herself to ask for assistance defeating something she'd dismissed as 'not particularly tough'.
Gary got to within tackling distance and then brought his wet blanket back up and threw it over the monster. Its blurry form solidified, the pale white face and dark body coming into focus. Its limbs were long, with long claws on each finger. Its elbows and shoulders were bulbous, its chest sunken, its hips protruding. It noticed, of course. It snarled at Inanna, but before it could strike, Gary rushed it, his temper cheering at the thought of getting his hands on the thing.
It spun at the sound of his feet pounding on the grass, so Gary swung a textbook perfect punch right between its eyes. The blow clotheslined the beast, flipping its feet forward, tossing it on its own head and neck with a sickening crack that would have killed any mortal.
Razor sharp claws lashed out at him as he threw himself on top of the thrashing monster. They scratched at the top layers of his skin, but the wounds closed and they couldn't penetrate past his shield.
He used his left hand to interfere with the claws, getting his forearm onto the bugbear's and pressing down. With his right hand, he pounded at the beast's face, over and over. Each blow crunched into the thing with the force of a freight train, the unfocused magic in his body turning itself into raw physical power.
The bugbear roared in pain and rage, so Gary opened his mouth and roared right back. The beast slipped its arms free and jammed them into Gary's sides, but he ignored them and got his left hook working the thing as well.
Snarling in rage, he snatched his knife off his chest and brought it down into the thing's throat. Its roars turned into a wet, gurgling sound. Gary pulled the knife out, then thrust it into its belly and ripping up, the force of the move shattering ribs and spraying Gary with a black ichor.
He growled deep in his chest, pulling the knife back out and slamming it into the bugbear's neck again, this time from the side. He left it there and resumed punching it, slamming his fists down with enough force to shatter the bones in his hands, leaving them just enough time to heal between blows.
He struck the beast over and over and over, ignoring the pain in his hands, focused only on hurting the thing. He kept going long after it stopped fighting back, stopping only when he felt a small hand on his back. He spun, his eyes wild and angry, but it was only Inanna there.
"You got him, Yarm," she said wryly. Gary stared, uncomprehending at her for a moment. Then it clicked. He barked a short laugh out and rolled off the thing, sitting on the grass next to the unmoving body.
"Is it dead?" he asked, his chest heaving from the exertion.
Inanna held a hand out towards the bugbear. "Yeah, it's dead."
"Good," Gary said. They sat in silence for a moment.
"The girl all right?" he asked.
Inanna nodded. "Yup." She looked over her shoulder and called out, "It's okay, hun. You can come out, now." A tiny figure moved hesitatingly towards them, stopping at the dead body of the bugbear and looking down at it.
"It's dead, darlin'," Gary said. "Nothing but a bag o ectoplasm, or whatever that black stuff is."
"Ectoplasm," the girl said quietly. Gary nodded and looked back at Inanna.
"Did you just call me Yarm?" he asked. She chuckled. "You reminded me of him just then. You were fighting like him."
"Heh," Gary said. "Balls to the wall, unchecked aggression."
"Yup," Inanna agreed.
"Don't tell nobody, but I gave a bit of thought to dropping trou and squeezing out a stink pickle on the thing's face. Just for a second, mind."
Inanna laughed. "Why didn't you?" she asked. Gary shrugged. "No point. It's long past caring what I do to it."
"Now there's the Gary I know," she said. Then she looked at Suzanne and frowned. "The Washingtons are dead. She's got nowhere to go."
"I might have a lead on that," Gary said. "In the meantime, she can come stay with me."
Inanna scoffed. "You'll adopt her within a month," she said. Gary just shrugged. "Maybe. Like I said, I got a lead."
----
Liam MacReady, On His Day Off
Liam answered the door to reveal an older guy standing there. He had a big, bushy beard that was mostly gray, a leathery face, and a figure that suggested a lot of time in the gym. He had a veteran's air about him, too, Liam noticed. It was in the the insouciant sloop of his shoulders, the stiffness of his lower back, the way he stood with his hands on his hips.
"Can I help you?" he rumbled.
"Liam MacReady?" the man asked, his voice tinged with a backwoods twang. Liam nodded, so the man held out a leather mitt. "My name's Gary Johnson. I'm with the Divine Crisis Management Group. I have some records here that say you applied to become a foster parent about two years ago, is that right?"
Liam frowned even as he shook the man's hand. He had a firm grip, but he didn't try to crush Liam's hand. Which was good, because Liam had mastered that particular show of dominance long ago.
Still, he didn't like this. "Why you looking into me, bro?" he asked.
"There's a little girl, goes by the name of Suzanne," Johnson said. Liam's hard look evaporated at the mention of the little girl he'd tried to take in.
"I know that look," Johnson said in a softer voice. "I got a daughter of my own. Can I come in?"
Liam thought about it. A cop would ask him to step out, not ask to come in. Unless he wanted to search for something. But Liam could kick him out if he started poking around. He pushed the door open wider and stood to the side.
Johnson walked in. He didn't poke around, but went straight to the living room and waited for Liam to join him. Liam closed the door and walked into the room, taking his favorite chair and gesturing at the couch for Johnson to sit. He did.
"So what's this about Suzanne?" Liam asked.
"Can you tell me how you know her?" Johnson asked.
Liam threw up his hands. "Brother, can we just get to the point?"
"This is the point, Mister MacReady," Johnson said. "I need to ask you some questions about her."
"When'd you serve?" Liam asked.
"Eighty-seven to oh-seven," Johnson answered without hesitation. "You?"
"Oh three to twenty-ten," Liam answered. "Second Ranger Battalion."
"Fifth Group," Johnson said. Liam quirked an eyebrow. "Green berets. Choice gig, that."
"Kinda sucked, to be honest." Lian chuckled at his answer.
"So how did you meet Suzanne?"
Liam rubbed his chin, thinking. After organizing his thoughts a bit, he spoke.
"Dated a girl a couple years ago. Suzanne's mom. She was a train wreck, but it took me a while to realize it. The girl..." Liam chuckled again.
"She was scared of me at first. I got these burns," he gestured to the side of his face, "In Kandahar. Don't do a lot to make me pretty, you know? But she warmed up to me in time. Sweetest little thing, she was. I never really thought of myself as a parent, you know? Always had too much going on, what with work and the club. But I loved spending time with that girl.
"I'd have dumped her mom's druggie ass much sooner, if not for her. When I finally had enough of her shit, I called CPH. Left an anonymous tip. I put in my application to be a foster parent, knowing that they'd rather her go with someone she knows. But they denied me. The club, me being single... I guess I can't blame them."
Johnson had been carefully watching Liam's face as he spoke, and Liam felt a strange sensation in the air. The temperature had dropped, and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up.
"You gotta good heart, Mister MacReady," Johnson said.
"Uh, thanks, I guess," Liam responded. Johnson pointed at Liam's kutte. "What's the missing rocker?" he asked.
Liam looked down, noticing the threads still hanging out. "Master-at-arms," he said, touching it with one blunt finger. "I stepped down back when I was trying to become a foster parent. Freed up more of my time, you know?"
"Would you like to see Suzanne? Spend the afternoon with her?"
Liam leaned forward, his interest thoroughly captured. "Yeah. You can make that happen?"
Johnson raised a finger. A few seconds later, Liam heard a knock on the front door. He stood and walked out there, to find a bookish-looking man in a suit and bowtie standing there. He was flanked by two more figures. One was a short, brunette knockout. She had a middle-eastern cast about her, curves like a scenic railroad track and tits that could stop all conversations within a dozen yards. But she wasn't the one who caught his eye.
"Mister Liam?" Suzanne asked. Liam's face lit up in a wide grin as he knelt down and threw his arms out.
"Hey punkin!" he cried as she rushed into them. He hugged her carefully for a long moment.
"Mister MacReady," the nerdy guy said. "I know about the troubles you had applying to become a foster parent. There's nothing we can really do about that, it's a state matter. But we have lawyers in all specialties, including family law. I'm confident we can arrange a private adoption. We've already contacted her mother at the MCI women's facility, and she's agreed to relinquish custody."
Liam stood, still clinging to Suzanne, who gripped him tightly.
"Why?" he asked.
"We want her to be with someone who loves her. And Gary is quite sure that's you."
"Uh..." Liam wasn't good with this kind of stuff. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, that's me." Johnson stepped past him and all three of them stepped off the stoop.
"I'll be back around nine," Johnson said. He handed Liam a pair of cards, which he took and carefully examined over Suzanne's shoulder. Both were for the same company he'd mentioned earlier. One had his name on it, and the other had a woman's name.
"Call the woman, Astrid, when you're ready to move forward on the adoption," Johnson said.
"And the other?" Liam asked.
"Call me if you ever find yourself willing to give up the outlaw life and work a steady, good paying job," Johnson told him. He met Liam's eyes and then nodded.
"I missed you so much," Suzanne said as Johnson followed the other two out to a black Humvee parked by the curb. Liam grinned so wide his face hurt.
"I missed you too, punkin," he said.
The End.

TARDIS

The TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions in Space) is a Type 40 time capsule the Doctor nicked many years and regenerations ago. It travels throughout space and time by passing through a space-time vortex and is dimensionally-transcendental (bigger on the inside than the outside).
Space Travel

• Lands underground.
• Smashes Graham's wooden chair when she lands in his living room.
• Crosses the Judoon's enforcement field surrounding Gloucester by syncing the TARDIS within its refresh rate and slipping in unnoticed.
• Lands inside a plastic trash structure that's located deep in the Indian Ocean .
• Rescues a man trapped in a deteriorating space shuttle by materializing around him the moment before its total destruction then dematerializing away.
• Lands inside the Passenger-form, a pocket universe concealed in a humanoid which the TARDIS doesn't like being inside.
• Dematerializes away in time to avoid the pull of a magnetically-charged implosion.
• Lands safely inside a volcano.
• Saves Ace from falling to her death by materializing side-up to catch her.
• Travel is not always instantaneous as it takes 4 minutes to get to Japan from the UK.
• Cannot access the alternate dimensions.
• The temporal residue covering Karvanista's ship makes it difficult but not impossible for the TARDIS to materialize inside it.
• The strength of the Flux's pull prevents the TARDIS from landing inside a Sontaran spaceship about to be consumed by it.
• The CyberMasters use a blocking field to keep the TARDIS from materializing inside the space train their hijacking.

Time Travel & Manipulation

• After separating from the Doctor, TARDIS starts phasing in and out of time in the exact same location which made it a legend to the settlers of Desolation because it only appears every thousand rotations in a ghostly form.
• Returns her companions to Sheffield only half an hour after they left Earth.
• Takes her companions to 19 News Years Eve displays in a row, across different centuries and planets.
• Not all points in history are fixed. After visiting an undesirable future for Earth and the human race, the Doctor assures her companions that it's just one of several possible futures that can be averted.
• Inadvertently creates a time loop at a storage facility when put into reset-mode.
• Travels two centuries in the future in the exact same spot.
• Brings Dan from the future back in time for his date.
• Has a tendency to land earlier or farther than the intended time, ranging from a matter of minutes, hours, months, decades and even centuries
• The Doctor cannot prevent a man's death in the past because it led to Yaz's birth who brought them there in the first place. On the other hand, it's imperative to keep a historical figure from prematurely dying as it would have great ramifications for the human race.
• The Doctor warns her companions not to interfere with the fabric of history before doing exactly that.
• Can't get too close to a past version of itself because it might cause a temporal feedback loop.
• A geo-magnetic disturbance pulls the TARDIS off course by several centuries.

Security & Defenses

• The cloister bells signal events of an extreme nature, such as the the Flux's approach and the Doctor's upcoming regeneration.
• A protective air bubble surrounds the TARDIS so the Doctor and her companions can safely peer outside with the doors open into space or underwater. The Doctor and Yaz could even safely sit on top of the TARDIS while eating ice cream. The Doctor once opened a "vacuum corridor" small enough that only a Kaled mutant would be affected by a supernova without harming anyone else onboard (that is until the corridor started expanding so they had to hurry things up).
• The Doctor implies the TARDIS has an intruder alert that sounds similar to a doorbell.
• All TARDISes can blend in with their surroundings through a Chameleon Circuit. The Doctor's TARDIS is permanently stuck as a 1960's police box after its circuit malfunctioned long ago.
• Has a net and mattress catch the Doctor and Yaz when they fall inside.
• The Doctor reboots the TARDIS to expel a Weeping Angel from it.
• UNIT are unable to open it.
• Several entities have managed to breach the TARDIS in different ways:
  • A Kerblam! teleport pulse enters the TARDIS without the Doctor's approval.
  • A Kasaavin nearly breaches the TARDIS before the Doctor sends it into flight.
  • The Eternal Zellin teleports inside the TARDIS.
  • The Judoon not only transport themselves into the TARDIS but also transport her into a prison cell.
  • A Weeping Angel enters the TARDIS and seizes control of it.
  • A Dalek traitor managed to bypass the TARDIS firewall to communicate with the Doctor via hologram.
• The instability of time due to the Mouri's weakened condition causes adverse effects on the TARDIS such as navigational issues, leakage, webbing, and structural irregularities in its interior and on its exterior. All these issues were cleared up when the Doctor set the TARDIS to self-reset.
• The Ravagers psychically hijack the TARDIS and force it to land in the Temple of Atropos.

Navigation

• The TARDIS' telepathic circuits can locate destinations of psychic and psychological relevance.
  • Connects with an old wristwatch to pinpoint the time and place it broke.
  • Gets the coordinates of several displaced planets from the Ux, reading their minds as well as harnessing their psychic abilities.
  • Finds the source of psychic power that's been communicating with Graham in his dreams.
  • The Doctor intends on using it to check her mind.
• Answers the call of the Doctor's sonic.
• Links Yaz's phone to the TARDIS to locate a woman whose number is on it.
• After the Recon Scout Dalek blocks her navigation system, the Doctor establishes a biofix on it using its DNA sample and forces it to communicate with her through a hologram (though the Dalek ends up blocking that too).
• Accesses CCTV, GPS and number plate tracking to keep up with the Recon Scout Dalek. When those methods fail, she switches to satellite monitoring which brings her to its eventual destination.
• Tracks the Recon Scout Dalek from the huge heat signature resulting from its massacre of an army.
• Locks onto Yaz's commdot signal to land at her location.
• Traces Dalek DNA to a facility in Japan.
• Locates Karvanista's spaceship.
• Locates Vinder through his phone signal.
• Locates the planet where a "child" was teleported to.
• Finds where the Master is keeping the Doctor through his transmission signal.
• Can't track the Sea Devils' vessel because they masked their route.

Durability

• Has a forcefield capable of blocking a shot from a temporal displacer. and a Dalek's blast. This shield can also be extended to protect a larger structure, like Wardenclyffe tower.
• Stands beside a supernova long enough for it to disintegrate a Dalek mutant.
• Gets pulled into the heart of the Flux - a massive space hurricane that can disintegrate entire planets in its path - which merely displaces the TARDIS to the past. The collision also disrupted the Flux and impeded its path of destruction.
• Withstands the destruction of a multi-story building without any visible damage.
• Ends up inbetween the jaws of a giant sea monster.
• The Master threatens to trap the TARDIS in a blackhole for eternity, implying it would not be destroyed by one.
• The Twelfth Doctor's explosive regeneration energy causes significant damage to the TARDIS interior, which forcibly ejects the Thirteenth Doctor in response.

Communication

• Contains a microphone that has connected with a Dalek out of its casing, Captain Jack's vortex manipulator and Vinder's emergency communicator.
• A holographic interface receives calls from other spaceships and places like Madagascar and UNIT HQ.

Observation

• Can view outside activity through a wall screen.
• Views Earth's outer atmosphere through a sort of periscope.

Scanning

• Reveals that a sample of alien residue is from a Kaled mutant.
• Scans a sewer for non-terrestrial life.
• Deciphers an image containing Agent O's location and sets the coordinates.
• Scans a building for life signals to make sure its safe, but didn't register a hostile hazmat alien.
• Claims that a strand of hair doesn't exist, because it belongs to a creature brought to life from a woman's nightmares.

Detection

• Senses traces of altron energy in 1955 Alabama.
• Receives multiple distress signals and senses psychotrophic waves from the planet Ranskoor Av Kolos.
• Keeps an alarm ready for incidents happening on Earth.
• Detects the heat of an explosion caused by the Recon Scout Dalek and the alien itself flying away from it.
• Reports a Dalek absorbing the UK's power and shutting off everyone's internet connection.
• Receives alerts across three continents on Earth.
• Senses the Flux approaching which it signals with the Cloister Bell.

Interfering with Technology

• Blocks the phone lines to prevent Robertson from calling security.
• Jams Karvanista's radio.

Remote Transportation

• Sends a group of displaced planets back to their original position by extending and splitting the TARDIS' dematerialization field.
• Teleports the Passenger-form in front of the TARDIS to absorb the rest of the Flux.

Addtional Console Functions

• Provides a visual aid for the Doctor's presentation on Rosa Parks.
• Has a custard cream dispenser.
• Synthesizes an antidote to Praxeus without the Doctor's supervision.
• Contains a recess where the Doctor stores her biomodule deep in the TARDIS.
• Rolls out a high-tech ladder that straightens itself so they can climb down onto a high speed space train.

Intelligence & Sentience

• Argues with the Doctor.
• Decodes a Quantum Flux Lock that goes through a hundred billion combinations per millisecond.
• Tends to bring the Doctor not where she wants but where she's needed.
• Deciphers a psychic transmission of data.
• Contains a databank with historical records which the Doctor can get a destination from based on an input of citeria.
• Protests when the Master tries to fly it.

Other

• The TARDIS exploding could mean the end of the world.
• Changes its outer and inner appearance after the Doctor's regeneration damaged it.
• Translates local languages for TARDIS inhabitants wherever or whenever they land.
• Has clap-activated lights.
• Houses a wardrobe hall in case Team TARDIS need to blend in.
• In a last ditch effort to stop the Flux, the Doctor sics a beam of Time Vortex energy at it to no avail.
• Uses her TARDIS's power to jump start the Master's TARDIS.

Sonic Screwdriver

The Doctor's version of a Swiss Army knife but without the knives or Swiss Army. The trusty Sonic Screwdriver functions as a scanner, door opener, machine operator and whatever ridiculous need arises.
Scanning
Temporal-Spatial

• Scans the recall circuit of Tzim-Sha's transport device to map the distance it traveled the universe.
• Determines the year.
• Tells the Doctor that they have not entered another world, which is correct because they're in the zone between worlds.
• Reveals that an ornate box is not from Earth.
• Finds a worrying lack of spacial-temporal readings at the Temple of Atropos.
• Detects retro-temporal manifestations in a tunnel system caused by the Flux and determines that a particular door is a safe passage out.
• Tells the city, year and time of the place the TARDIS wasn't meant to land on.
• Confirms that an empty seafloor is the exact coordinates of a pirate ship they intended to land on.

Classifying

• Reveals the function and biomechanic nature of the Gathering Coil.
• Confirms the Doctor's suspicion that Ilin is just a hologram being projected from far away.
• Reveals that armed guards are robots instead of organic lifeforms and what kind of robot they are.
• Shows the components of an alien dust as a combination of various, densely-compacted chemicals and billions of DNA fragments.
• Shows that an alien in human form is, in fact, not human.
• Explains the meaning of a Judoon alarm.
• Shows that Commander Gatt is Gallifreyan.
• Determines that an underwater structure of plastic trash is an alien construct, but not an alien colony.
• Shows the composition of bone powder.
• Reveals that a mist cloud is not natural mist.

Technology

• Shows the number of seconds before a mine detonates.
• Scans a decapitated Kerb!am man head then a computer to learn that the company's system directed all its control into that one robot.
• Scans a room to find teleportation hardware that's been building up huge amounts of power for one big transmat.
• Confirms that the Recon Scout Dalek's transmission didn't send.
• Discovers that an Orb of Thassor has been repurposed but can't determine what for.
• Learns that a spaceship is powered by organic fuel cells.
• Reveals the type of malfunction affecting an unstable spaceship.
• Finds the power source of a spaceship and that it's secured by a quantum fluctuation lock.
• Gets contradictory information from a super-dense container.

Microscopic

• Discovers flesh-eating microbes living in the waters of Desolation.
• Reveals Krasko's neural restrictor in his brain.
• Reveals microscopic bombs within sheets of bubble wraps.
• Scans the Lone Cyberman's compressed corpse to find the Death Particle still active within it.

Life Forms

• Can detect for life forms in an area.
• Shows the exact number of living humans in an area.

Energy

• Finds traces of altron energy on Rosa Parks.
• Finds a psychic signal being emanated from a bunch of detached fingers towards an orb.
• Scans the Flux from a distance to find that it disobeys every law of time and space.
• Finds alien pulse fields in 17th century China.

Other

• Gets nothing unusual from scanning the residue of hostile alien mud.
• Scans a girl suspected of witchcraft to find nothing unusual.
• Can reveal how somebody was killed and the type of weapon used.

Limits

• Gets a disorganized series of readings from scanning a ruin on Desolation.
• A dense compound overloads the sonic with too many inputs when she tries to scan it.
• Doesn't get a reading from a Thasaavin.
• Fails to decrypt the bioshield the Fugitive Doctor used to appear human.
• The cloaking technology used to hide Percy Shelley is so large it interferes with the sonic's readings while at Villa Diodati.
• The Cybermen use a jamming signal to prevent her from getting intel on them.

Manipulating Technology
Activation

• Opens up a holographic projection of Tzim-Sha's next victim through his Gathering Coil.
• Activates her homemade transporter.
• Unlocks the Thijarian's infobank.
• Activates the Thijarians' transmat technology to leave their base and to send them away.
• Takes Twirly the Robot off sleep mode.
• Readies grenades to explode if she's threatened.
• Turns her neck communicator on and off.
• Turns on the Ux prisoners' neural balancers.
• Inadvertently beams herself and her team up into an alien temple.
• Triggers the Silver Lady to draw the Kasaavin's attention.
• Activates her Braxium Bouncer.
• Inadvertently reveals the power source of Zellin's ship.
• Unintentionally triggers Karvanista's trap.
• Turns on the Mouri's pedestal.
• Switches on her makeshift CCTV with an added slap.
• Plays a Sontaran transmission recorded on Bel's baby monitor.
• Turns on the Sea Devil's base to set sail.
• Activates her companions' nano-implants.

Manipulation

• Removes the DNA bombs from her friends and herself then puts them back in the Gathering Coil that implanted them in the first place, causing Tzim-Sha to detonate them on his own body when he absorbs the Coil's data.
• Stabilizes the TARDIS when it's stuck phasing in and out of time and space.
• Syncs the digital map on a handheld device to a building's computer.
• Accesses the Tsuranga's computer systems that patients are restricted from.
• Sets the timer of a bomb.
• Edits an electronic clipboard so her arrival to Kerblam appears scheduled.
• Swaps the settings on her and Graham's ankle braces designating their jobs.
• Hijacks a delivery bot's teleportation circuit and later does the same with the company's prototype robot.
• Modifies a piece of the Morax's tree so she can reactivate their prison.
• Summons the TARDIS using power from Tzim-Sha's technology.
• Accelerates the decoding process on the Vor website.
• Accesses the databanks on the Master's TARDIS.
• Accelerates the charge time of a teleporter from 1 minute to 10 seconds.
• Turns the Orb of Thassor into a communicator between her and the Skithra Queen.
• Transfers the readings from a blood sample onto a laptop.
• Merges three different phone calls into one so she can address all her companions at once.
• Projects a laptop's display onto a TV and controls it.
• Accesses the data from Dan's phone not only threw computer screens but also across a different century.
• Keeps a flashlight shining on Weeping Angel when they start draining its power.
• Reverses the polarity of the neutron flower of a brain scan device to stun some Weeping Angels.
• Disengages Karvanista's ship from the rest of the Lupari fleet.
• Sonics a Sea Devil's high-tech sword out of his hand.
• Steadies a space train.

Deactivation

• Removes the perception filter cloaking Krasko's gear.
• Temporarily jams a Dalek's gunstick. She attempted this a second time, but it failed because the Daleks adapted.
• Deactivates the TARDIS' shield.
• Turns off the alarm sensors on Barton's plane.
• Removes the Master's perception filter making him appear Aryan to the Nazis.
• Partially shuts down Karvinsta's ship and deactivates his weapon then reactivates the former.
• Remotely damages a building's circuit box to kill the lights.
• Removes the consciousness shield disguising the Qurunx as a human child.
• Fails to prevent a sonic mine from detonating.
• Seemingly unable to stop the Kerblam man from assaulting Charlie.
• Fails to stop a hostile Sat Nav.
• The Master sonic-proofed his bomb to keep her from disabling it.

Detection & Tracking

• Tracks the source of altron energy over miles.
• Tracks the Thijarians after they teleported away and where their base is.
• Follows an unusual energy reading that leads her to Nikola Tesla.
• Points to the Fugitive Doctor's buried TARDIS when scanned cover a large area.
• Detects two nearby Cybershuttles landing in the area.
• Finds traces of non-terrestrial weapon dispersals at Dan's flat.
• Senses the Lupari fleet approaching.
• Reacts to nearby psychic readings and leads her to them.
• Detects a temporal disturbance on another floor.
• Detects a second Dalek in the building.

Locks

• Manipulates doors from the past, present and future.
• Opens a "big lock door".
• Turns the wheel of a hatch.
• Opens and closes electronic sliding doors.
• Unlocks a row of padlocks.
• Fries an electronic keypad to access a restricted section.
• Unlocks a filing cabinet.
• Releases Twirly from his exhibit.
• Unbolts a door.
• Opens the doors of an airplane hangar.
• Opens and closes an airplane's cargo hatch.
• Forces an auto-locked door open.
• Unlocks an electronic cage and locks it when the Alpha Dreg is contained.
• Locks a hatch door.
• Frees herself from futuristic cuffs.
• Opens up a Cyberfighter from a distance.
• Opens an unmanned TARDIS.
• Unshackles a Sontaran.
• Opens the hatch on a train.

Physical Manipulation

• Unties a piece of rope.
• Freezes the mirror gateway to the Anti-zone during a movement, seals it to stop its inhabitants from pursuing them further, opens it up again by reversing the polarity of the neutron flow and finally blocks it for good by smashing the mirror.
• Lowers a glass cage on a Kasaavin.
• Drops a grate on a Skithra.
• Puppeteers Zellin's fingers to use them against him and Rakaya.
• Removes a circuit panel.
• Incapacitates the Grand Serpent.
• Stabilizes her earring when its pulled by a strong geomagnetic force.
• Doesn't affect the Remnants.

Unveiling

• Hides the notes she wrote in marker pen and reveals it when the coast is clear.
• Reveals the mechanical inner workings of an alien tree.
• Reveals an invisible forcefield.

Other

• Capable of automatic self-repair, a feature which surprised even the Doctor.
• Audio records the Master's planned double-crossing of the Thasaavins.
• Sounds an alarm that can be heard over great distances.
• Doubles as a flashlight.
• Messes with her and some humans' life signals the Daleks use to track them in order to mislead them.

Respect the Doctor

🎵

"Bit of adrenaline, dash of outrage, and a hint of panic knitted my brain back together. I know exactly who I am. I'm the Doctor. Sorting out fair play across the universe. Now please. Get off this planet while you still have a choice."

So you've come to see my respect thread? mmmm I love respect threads. In fact, I invented them right after 4 slice toasters. So... where was I? Oh, that's right. Me. Doctor, the Doctor. I was born on this little planet on the Constellation of Kasterborous... or was I? Things get a bit complicated there... where I came from or who I am. I've been lots of people, some of them I don't even remember. The person reading this might be the Doctor too (?)... Anyway, back on point. The person who I am now is an easy-going travelehigh-speed engineebiscuit-lover. Me and my fam explore the universe in muh good old TARDIS, righting wrongs and chilling like there's no tomorrow (which is a possibility wink-wink). I'm happy to be your bezzie mate if you play nicely, but if not --- well, you'll get an idea if you keep reading. (scronch)

Source Key

Hover over a feat to view its source.

• Doctor Who (2005) series # episode # = S#E#
• Twice Upon A Time = TUAT
• Resolution = R
• Revolution of the Daleks = RotD
• Eve of the Daleks = EotD
• Legend of the Sea Devils = LotSD
• The Power of the Doctor = PotD

Intelligence

Technological Aptitude
Understanding Technology

• Assures the "safe" crash-landing of a spaceship.
• Identifies the futuristic technology used by Krasko as well as their limitations.
• Identifies the various technology stolen by the Skithra.
• Makes correct conclusions about a spacecraft beyond even her level of technology and puts the techno jargon involved into understable terms.
• Identifies the technology at the Sea Devils' base and how it keeps the place airtight under the sea.

Using/Operating Technology

• Works the Tsuranga's touchscreen controls.
• Uses the Thijarians' own transmat locks to keep them out of Umbreen's farm.
• Uses Kerb!am's prototype robot to hack into the system and prevent an act of terrorism.
• Uses an alien space shuttle to distribute the antidote to Praxeus all over Earth.
• Operates a ship's computer using harp controls.
• Pilots a cyberfighter which uses an unothrodox control scheme.
• Uses a 1960's brain scan device to stun some Weeping Angels.
• Pilots a Lupari ship.
• Uses the Master's TARDIS to bring his cyber-conversion planet to 2022 and thwart his plan to erupt all of Earth's volcanos by converting the lava into steel.

Building Technology

• Crafts her own sonic screwdriver out of Stenza technology and spoons.
• Builds a transport pod out of various electronics to send her to the TARDIS, only to end up sending her companions and herself into outer space because the TARDIS had relocated to a planet out of orbit.
• Builds an ionic membrane from scratch and claims she could make a human out of crayons and half a can of spam.
• Rigs up a cloaking bypass in a minute to access to the Orb of Thassor's data.
• Helps Nikola Tesla finish Wardenclyffe Tower so they could use it to banish the Skithra from Earth.
• Rigs up a CCTV out of a 1960's television and some odds and ends found in her pockets.

Modifying Technology

• Reboots Ryan's phone into a tracking device.
• Reprograms the Master's Kasaarvin-summoning device to shut down when it detects the Kasaarvin.
• Thwarts the Sea Devils by rigging their power core to implode.

Disabling Technology

• Stuns the Gathering Coil with a loose cable upon first seeing it then stuns it again later by overloading its sockets with a more elaborate setup.
• Deactivates a group of self-rebooting sniperbots using an EMP found inside of the destroyed bots.
• Disables the security system inside Karvanista's ship using the Hopper virus.
• Teaches Victorian soldiers to sabotage the Sontarans' life support systems.
• Deactivates a space train's electromagnets to make a group of CyberMasters float away.

Repairing Technology

• Tunes up the TARDIS' wiring in her spare time.
• Figures out how to repair a transport pod by mutating a necessary fuel source.
• Fixes Vinder's ship in a hurry.

Computing

• Decrypts an obscure alien code from an interdimensional species.
• Hacks the guest list of Daniel Barton's party to get invites.
• Types up a debug script in an alien dialect to neutralize the Hopper virus.

Observation

• Recognizes that a tent is holographic upon first glance.
• Recognizes that a building's life support systems have been disabled from the noises heard.
• Can tell what setting Krasko's temporal displacer is on from behind her back.
• Identifies Krasko as a former prisoner of the Stormcage Containment Facility from a wrist tattoo.
• Sees the connection between a series of spider-related incidents occuring all over Sheffield.
• Realizes that the hospital she's being treated at is a spaceship from the vibrations present. Though her wooziness causes her to take a while to figure this out.
• Reaches multiple conclusions about the mud zombies from observing one.
• Notices that something is up with a random house seen from afar.
• Notices that there's another person present with Erik when he claims otherwise.
• Roughly guesses the century she's been transported to while recovering from a daze.
• Points out that a "linen cupboard" is not really a linen cupbard.
• Discovers a secret tunnel that the current homeowner was not aware of.

Deduction

• Exposes Tzim-Sha as a cheat.
• Figures out why Krasko uses non-hostile means to prevent the Montgomery bus boycott.
• Realizes what the P'ting's intention is by hijacking Tsuranga.
• Figures out that Becka Savage is infected with an alien creature.
• Discovers that a ducking stool is a piece of alien technology.
• Realizes that the dimension she entered is a Solitract by remembering a bedtime story from childhood.
• Realizes that the Recon Dalek mutant is revived by ultraviolet light and recalls this fact when it's used again to send a bunch of them into their casings.
• Forces the Master to give up his ruse when she notices a discrepancy between his words and the information she read about the man he's impersonating.
• Works out the Kasaavin's grand scheme.
• Learns about the Dreg's capabilities from the measures taken against them.
• Discovers the key to destroying the CyberMasters from something uttered by the Lone Cyberman.
• Deduces that they have ended up in the middle of the Crimean War.
• Gets interrogated by the Grand Serpent and manages to learn more about him than he does about her.
• Figures out the Sontaran's strategy against the Daleks and Cybermen.
• Deduces what the Sea Devils' ultimate goal is.

Persuasion, Trickery & Manipulation

• Gives Ryan some moral support to overcome his dyspraxia.
• Gets information from Rosa Parks by pretending to be a market researcher.
• Negotiates with an untrustworthy alien.
• Encourages her companions to reject the Solitract's allure before convincing the Solitract itself to release her.
• Coaxes Paltraki into trusting her after his mind was disturbed by psychotropic waves.
• Uses Noor Inayat Khan to frame the Master as a double agent to the Nazis.
• Forces the Alpha Dreg to let her and Bella go using its dependency on carbon dioxide.
• Tricks the Skithra Queen into holding a teleportation device.
• Posing as an imperial regulator, she negotiates with a Judoon captain using both real and made-up legal jargon.
• Helps Tahira conquer her fear so she can control her nightmare monster.
• Defeats the Death Squad Daleks by luring them into what appears to be her TARDIS, only to reveal that it's another TARDIS which she has rigged to self-destruct with them inside.
• Persuades an Ood to go against his superior's wishes and help her.
• Uses a Sontaran commander's obsession with human snacks to get two allies onto the Sontaran ship.
• Lures a Sea Devil into a trap.
• Fails to convince King James that she's not a witch, but likely sows enough doubt in his mind to prematurely end her trial.

Resourcefulness

• Destroys the Remnants by igniting a cigar in a field of acetylene.
• Isolates a giant spider using vinegar and garlic.
• Alleges she used spider web to stop a plane in flight with Amelia Earheart.
• Contains a swarm of giant spiders by luring them into a panic room using the vibrations of loud music.
• Kills two birds with one stone by feeding the P'ting the Tsuranga's bomb, thereby sating its hunger for energy and containing the explosion.
• Puts together a chemistry set on a Punjabi farm in the 1940's to analyze a sample her sonic couldn't.
• Uses peanut butter as a mechanical lubricant.
• Uses a car's rear-view mirror to reflect a deadly laser.
• Forms a circle of fire out of the chemicals in Thomas Edison's factory.

Medical

• Diagnoses General Cicero with Pilot's Heart.
• Can identify the exact cause of death of victims of alien attacks through a quick examination.
• Treats Ryan for the Hopper virus the moment he contracts it.
• Leads a team to develop a cure for Praxeus.
• Can't help Graham with his cancer worries because of... um, social awkwardness(?).

Planning & Strategy

• Places instructions onto Barton's plane in the past to help her companions pilot it in the present when it almost crashes. Her prediction of their responses is so accurate it makes the recording she left resemble a live conversation.
• Gets rid of the Defense Drone Daleks by summoning the Death Squad Daleks to wipe them out, knowing they would prioritize eradicating "impure" Daleks over harming humans.
• Quickly devises a formation for the Lupari ships to successfully defend Earth from the Flux.
• Hijacks the Sontarans' plot to eliminate the Daleks and the Cybermen using the Flux to get rid of all three forces at once.
• Comes up with a plan to break a time loop and dispose of the Daleks pursuing them at the same time.

Miscellaneous Skills

• Uses Venusian Aikido to temporarily paralyze or render humanoids unconscious.
• Translates an alien language without the TARDIS.
• Claims she is a doctor of many things.
• Thanks to Harry Houdini, she single-handedly escapes when chained to a ducking stool and submerged in cold water.
• Impractically summons her sonic screwdriver from her coat pocket into her hand with both arms tied.
• Tails a Sontaran without being spotted.
• Thinks at such a fast rate her surroundings appear slowed while inner-monologuing.
• Sword-fights handedly with a Sea Devil.

Mental Abilities

Mental Resistance & Willpower

• Quickly overcomes of the nightmare-inducing power of Zellin.
• Identifies a perception filter and instructs a group of humans to move past it.
• Breaks out of the Matrix by overloading it with the memories (stock footage) of her past lives.

Mind Reading & Communication

• Communicates with the Master over a long distance.
• Looks into a Dreg's mind to learn their origin.
• Shows Commander Gatt the future of Gallifrey.
• Looks into Percy Shelley's mind so she can learn something his mental state prevents him from telling her.
• Attempts to locate the Master by linking with his mind, however he senses this and misleads her in response.
• Enters Claire's mental space to communicate with the Weeping Angel inhabiting her mind.
• After being split thrice, the three Doctors network with each other.

Mind Manipulation

• Wipes Noor Inayat Khan's and Ada Lovelace's memories of her.
• Performs an "Old Time Lord Trick" on Percy Shelley to extract the Cyberium from him; mentally simulating his death to trick the Cyberium into leaving its host.

Sensing & Feeling

• Receives the Thijarians' telepathic message, though it is painful for her.
• Senses the Kasaavin approaching even though the sonic can't detect them.
• Gets a vibe of unrelenting evil in Villa Diodati.
• Sees and feels the universe breaking down from the Flux.
• Finds her biomodule from hearing it reach out to her - a noise that an Ood (a telepathic being) could not hear.
• Feels that the time loop they're trapped in is shortening with each loop.

Other

• Like all Time Lords, the secret of the Timeless Child hides deep in her memories.
• When made to relive a past event as the Fugitive Doctor, she converses with her past self after seeing the physical difference in the mirror.
• After the Master hijacks her regenerations, the Doctor's mind enters a subconscious plane where she is met by manifestations of her past incarnations. They inform her that even though her body has changed, the forced regeneration has not yet passed its threshold and can still be reversed.

Physical Attributes

Strength

• Frees an elderly woman chained to a ducking stool then drags her out of the water.
• Pushes one end of a ducking stool from a lake.
• Keeps a Skithran from busting through a door.
• Keeps both her companions from drifting away in space.

Speed & Agility

• Leaps from one crane to another.
• Strategically avoids being shot by robot drones as she flees the area.
• Avoids Dalek blasts at point-blank range and rolls into cover.
• Draws that same Dalek's fire so her companions can close in on it.
• Ducks under a close-range laser blast.
• Sidesteps a shot from a Silurian blaster.
• Ducks under a trio of swarming Cyberdrones.
• Flips herself upside-down to right-side up onto a gravity bar, utilizing tricks she learnt at a high-gravity workshop.
• Moves fast enough to pull her companions and herself into the center of the Time Force before Swarm could vaporize Yaz.
• Dodges lasers from behind the moment she enters the area.
• Ducks under sudden Dalek blasts from behind.
• Does a front-flip while avoiding a Sea Devil's sword swipes.
• Steps away from the energy blast of a CyberMaster that just transmatted in.
• Avoids blasts from multiple CyberMasters as she flees into the TARDIS.
• Dodges a close-range Dalek blast.

Durability

• Remains in good spirits when an electric shock violently shoves her backwards (thought this likely due to her post-regeneration rush).
• Recovers from the vacuum of space faster than her human companions.
• Tries to hold back an explosion big enough to take out an airplane's cockpit with only its door to shield her.
• Travels in warp drive without adverse effects.
• Her biology can withstand the Time Force that would be overwhelming for humans, allowing her to briefly jump into Dan and Yaz's timestreams. However, the pressure would eventually kill her.

Senses

• Feels the DNA bombs in her collarbone that none of her companions notice.
• Determines that they've landed in Norway by tasting the grass.
• Discovers an alpaca farm 25 miles away by tasting the soil.
• Determines the century a skeleton originates from by tasting its boney powder.
• Tastes the residue of a stun cube used by the Lupari.
• Incorrectly deduces the decade from sniffing a man's coat, noting he must have owned it for a while.

Regeneration
Time Lords can survive fatal injuries through the process of regeneration whereupon every cell in their body is rewritten, radically transforming their appearance and personality. This regeneration produced some interesting changes...

• This ability is restricted to 12 regenerations across 13 incarnations. Due to the Doctor gaining a second regeneration cycle and the whole Timeless Children revelation, this limit might no longer be in play.
• Excess regeneration energy affords a Time Lord a degree of invulnerability within the first few hours of their regeneration. The newly-regenerated Thirteenth Doctor fell from her airbourne TARDIS in the stratosphere down to a nearby train, crashing through its roof and getting up completely fine.
• Side-effects following regeneraiton include memory loss, fainting and slowed movement.
• The Master uses a machine to force her to regenerate into him so he could go around the universe causing destruction in the Doctor's name. This process was reversed shortly after using the regeneration energy from his CyberMasters.
• Regeneration can be temporarily delayed without suffering negative effects, which the Thirteenth Doctor did for a little while to eat ice cream.
• The Thirteenth Doctor's regeneration into the Fourteenth Doctor was unique from past regenerations in two respects; firstly being that this form strongely resembled her Tenth incarnation instead of a totally new body and secondly in that it also changed the Doctor's clothing (the only other time this happened was the First Doctor's regeneration into the Second).

Miscellaneous Time Lord Biology

• Has two hearts and therefore two pulses.
• Has a much longer lifespan than humans. In this body, she spent several decades imprisoned without visibly aging.
• The Cyberium chooses her as a host over the Lone Cyberman.

Equipment

Get the full rundown of the TARDIS and Sonic Screwdriver in the comments

Psychic Paper
The psychic paper is a blank piece of paper that telepathically projects the Doctor's thoughts into the eyes of whom she presents it to.

• Poses as a crisis investigator to get answers from Jack Robertson.
• Gains employment at Kerb!am by presenting fake references.
• Seizes control of a witch hunt by posing as a Witchfinder General.
• Gain access to Tranquility Spa's command centre by posing as a Pan-Galactic Standards and Practices officer with several areas of expertise under her belt.
• Claims to be part of the Institute of Psychic Investigation to intervene in Professor Jericho's psychic experiments.
• Claims to be members of the local council when investigating a storage facility.
• Gives Ryan and Graham their own psychic papers so they can continue investigating strange goings-ons without her.
• Fails to pass her off as the Witchfinder General to King James due to his sexism so she is instead designated the Witchfinder's Assistant.
• Doesn't work when wet.

Futuristic Technology

• Makes her companions scour a junk planet for spare part using modified metal detectors.
• Gains a comm dot at Tsuranga which she and her companions use on another occasion.
• Uses neural balancers so she and her companions can enter the planet Ranskoor Av Kolos without succumbing to its psychotrophic waves. She later uses them to block the Ux's psychic signal.
• Prepares communicators, codebreakers, trackers, grenades and a remote-detonated bomb during their visit of Ranskoor Av Kolos.
• Gives a woman some medicine to help her recover from Dalek possession.
• Wears an O2 cannister when forced to brave Orphan 55's hostile environment.
• Uses a Braxium Bouncer Mk III to teleport herself, Yaz and Nikola Tesla out of the Skithra's spaceship and then later to send the Skithra Queen back inside the ship.
• Uses a device to take an instant blood sample from a Praxeus patient.
• Carries a flip phone (presumably boosted by the sonic) to contact her companions across time and space.
• In their fight against the Cyberman, she equips her companions with technology that unsuppress the Cybermen's emotions, project gold particles which Cybermen are allergic to and generate forcefields.
• Attacks the Lone Cyberman with a grenade.
• Owns a pair of voice-activated handcuffs, but they aren't very responsive as they were likely set up by a past incarnation.
• Hands Vinder a communicator with a direct line to the TARDIS.
• Owns at few copies of the orange spacesuit she acquired in her Tenth incarnation.
• Places a small device on a Dalek traitor's casing to extract the information about its race's plans.
• Leaves Yaz a device which projects a recorded adaptive hologram of the Doctor to give her guidance after two weeks of no contact. The hologram was later upgraded into a fully-interactive AI made from the Doctor's data collected over thousands of years which only activates during the gravest of emergencies. The Doctor imprinted this AI onto Yaz, Tegan and Ace via sonically-triggered nano-implants resembling static electricity.
  • This hologram can perceive its surroundings through the ocular nerves of the Doctor's companions.
  • The hologram is predictably intangible so lasers harmlessly pass through it. The CyberMasters were also unable to recognize it as a hologram.
  • The hologram's interface will inadvertently change according to the emotional memory of who it's addressing in the moment, causing it to resemble past Doctors to past companions like the Fifth to Tegan Jovanka and the Seventh to Ace. It also willingly assumed the form of the Fugitive Doctor to fool the Master even though her history is shrouded in mystery.

Mundane Items

• Lends Graham a pair of sunglasses she got from either Audrey Hepburn or Pythagoras.
• Writes with a special marker pen that can be concealed by the sonic.
• Uses a stethoscope to auscultate people and places.
• Uses chalk to write up a message for her companions without letting a blind girl know.
• Unravels some string so they don't get lost in the Anti-zone.
• Gives Ryan a ginger humbug to help him recover from motion sickness.
• Hits a Sontaran's probic vent with a slingshot.

Miscellaneous

• Opposes the use of firearms, even against robots and mutant spiders, but is fine with using explosives to take out structures.
• Has Elvis' phone number.
• Strongly implied that she's the mysterious street artist Banksy.
• Featured in a whole chapter or volume in the Book of Celebrants.
• Officiated Albert Einstein's wedding and Yaz's grandmother's first wedding.
• Claims to have invented wellies.
• Keeps companions around to show off.
• Lord Byron fancied her.
• Was arrested and imprisoned by the Judoon for at least seven thousand offenses. In that time, she recited Harry Potter to entertain herself which really shows how out of the loop she was with human affairs.
• The very notion of meeting the Doctor is enough to convince a stubborn Sontaran to agree to her terms.
• Bit narcissistic.

"She was the universe."

​

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase: up to 1000 EUR / Europe
• Are you open to refurbs/used? No
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? performance, quality, battery
• How important is weight and thinness to you? not important
• Do you have a preferred screen size? anything between 14 and 16 inch
• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. No.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? N/A
• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? reliable build quality (metal chassis)
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. Not a plastic chassis. Something that works smoothly with Android Studio, Multiple Visual Studio Code windows opened.

"Be excellent to each other... and party on dudes!"

He is Bill S. Preston, Esq.! And he is Ted "Theodore" Logan! And together, they are Wyld Stallyns!
To everyone else in late-80s/early-90s San Dimas, California, Wyld Stallyns may look like the impossible dream of two slackers with no skill in anything else. But in truth, the music of Wyld Stallyns is so bodacious, so non-heinous, so excellent that it brings about an era of prosperity, both across the earth and to the stars beyond, and technological advancement so advanced that even time can be accessed as freely as a 10-digit phone number from the nearest payphone. Because of this, agents from the future utopia have sent back a time-travelling phone booth as well as information about the future to make sure that Bill and Ted are able to continue having most excellent adventures and fulfill the destiny of Wyld Stallyns.

Key

Movies:
^EA = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
^BJ = Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
^FtM - Bill & Ted Face the Music
Shows:
^CSxEy = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures (DiC Animated Series); Season X Episode Y
^LAEx = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures (Fox Live Action Series); Episode X
Comics:
^M#X = Bill & Ted's Excellent Comic Book (Marvel Comics) Issue #X
^BVx#y = Boom! Studios Comics; Volume X, Issue #Y

Vol. 1 = Bill & Ted's Triumphant Return
Vol. 2 = Bill & Ted Go To Hell
Vol. 3 = Bill & Ted Save the Universe
BV1#xS = Boom! Studios Comics; Side Story

^DH#X = Dark Horse Comics (Face the Music Compliant) Issue #X
Games:
^AL = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (Atari Lynx)
^NES = Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure (NES)
^WS = Wyld Stallyns (Mobile Game)
Live Show:
^EHAyy = Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure; 19YY/20YY

Bill and Ted

Strength

• Twist around several amps while running as a blur. ^CS1E7
  
• Run straight through several tentpoles. ^CS1E7
  
• Hold themselves against the winds created by a giant monster that toss around buses and tanks. ^CS2E5
  
• Push around large stone slabs. ^AL
  
• A version of Bill and Ted from a bad future become super jacked and help curbstomp a robot. ^FtM
  
• [Limitation] Struggle to do push-ups. ^BJ
  

Speed/Agility

• Dodge a stone discus launched hard enough to embed into a marble pillar, and a falling chandelier. ^CS1E2
  
• Dodge around weapons swung by Roman gladiators. ^CS1E3
  
• Dodge a speeding horse and a flying coffin. ^CS1E9
  
• Able to dodge a frog mid-jump. ^CS1E11
  
• Run off fast enough to kick up a trail of dust. ^CS2E1
  
• Intercept a cannon shot. ^CS2E1
  
• Dodge a cannon shot just before it hits. ^CS2E3
  
• As babies, able to run off hidden behind a cloud of baby powder. ^CS2E7
  
• Duck underneath a swinging pendulum. ^AL
  
• Very good at jumping really high. ^NES
  
• Dodge a booth as it falls from time jump. ^LAE2
  
• Disguise themselves as a doctor and a cadaver in the time it takes for a woman to leave a room. ^LAE3
  
• Scale up the snout of a large, metal dragon. ^BJ
  
• Attempt and almost succeed at intercepting a bullet, moving a good distance in the time it takes to go from a gun to a person feet away. ^EHA08
  
• Outrun several species of dinosaur. ^M#2
  
  • Outrun a T-Rex running fast enough to kick up large rocks in its wake. ^BV1#3S
• Dodge a superhero sent flying hard enough to leave a comet trail behind him. ^M#10
  
• Dodge around machine gun fire. ^M#11
  
  • Again. ^BV1#5
• Able to see the two drivers in a high speed chase. ^BV1#2S
  
• Hit a button that causes the spaceship they're in to lurch forward fast enough to send everyone inside tumbling, then run off before anyone else can catch their bearings. ^BV3#1
  

Durability

• Get tossed across a bar, their heads smashing through a thin wood wall. ^EA
  
• Fall from a second floor balcony into some bushes and walk it off. ^FtM
  
• Has Death thrown at them bodily and get back up. ^DH#3
  
• Crushed under a mountain of falling china. ^CS1E1
  
• Are sent flying back by their amplifier's exploding to little ill effect. ^CS1E1
  
• Have a stove dropped on their heads. ^CS1E2
  
• Launched through a window and fall a story down into a stone fountain. ^CS1E2
  
• Fall from the top of a three-story building into some bushes. ^CS1E4
  
• Get slammed into a brick wall hard enough to indent. ^CS1E7
  
• Get launched into the air by their inflatable shoes and then fall back down. ^CS1E9
  
• Get kicked out of a stadium hard enough to send them flying, toppling a food cart. ^CS1E9
  
• Get blasted high into the air by a jet of water strong enough to blow away a stone statue, then land in a river. ^AL
  
• Get blasted back by the explosion from this huge gun. ^M#8
  
• Punch themselves. ^M#11
  
• Get zapped in a clash between Darth Vader and Gandalf and walk it off. ^EHA02
  
• Fall down a trap door a dozen feet and get up fine. ^BV3#1
  
• Hit a button that causes the spaceship they're in to lurch forward fast enough to send everyone inside tumbling, then run off before anyone else can catch their bearings. ^BV3#1
  
• Take hits from the Death Quills of Koloko IV, the Lightning Web, the Fire Bones of Kykartian Dragodon, the Cyberwasps of the Robot Zoo Planet, and the Lavaspin of Sector 487. ^BV3#2
  
• Roll into a snowball then crash into a building hard enough to demolish it. ^DH#3
  
• [Limitation] A long fall from the top of this cliff is enough to instantly kill them. ^BJ
  

Skill

• Easily bat in a baseball game one-handed while focusing on other things. Ted even throws the bat so that it spins hard enough to hit the ball without him holding it. ^CS2E3
  
• Jump from an upper banister and swing down on ropes, knocking out two guys and stealing their weapons in the process. ^LAE6
  
• Briefly hold their own in a duel, despite neither having any dueling experience. ^M#1
  

Intelligence
Yes, really.

• Can comprehend and utilize stable time loops. ^EA
  
  • Leave a recording device hidden in the corner of a room with a timer to use as a distraction. ^EA
  • Leave a typed message for themselves at a printer with instructions to duck at just the perfect time. ^EA
  • Sets up a trash can to fall at the right time to trap Ted's father. ^EA
  • Outwit De Nomolos, setting up not only a sandbag and cage to fall at just the right time and place to disarm and trap him, but also set up a key for the cage and fake gun to trick him into believing that he would win the encounter. ^BJ
  • When they don't have access to a booth, they go back in time to ask Station to build one so that he's done in time for them to go back and ask. ^BV1#1
  • Loosen a chandelier just so that it falls on Vlad the Impaler's head while he's cornered them. ^BV3#1
• When they're being pursued by versions of them from a bad future, who remember everything they're about to do, they do something they can't possibly remember doing to escape. ^FtM
  
• Able to somewhat fix the booth's broken antennae with some fudge cans and a large wad of chewed gum. ^EA
  
  • Able to somewhat fix the booth's broken antennae with a magazine and a shoelace. ^LAE1
  • Able to more or less fix the booth's broken numpad by copying what they remember Station doing to fix it. ^BV1#3S
• Survive a long fall from within the booth by jumping at the last second. ^CS1E8
  
• Rig up a lever to launch Dracula out of the booth and onto a bed. ^CS1E9
  
• Make functional guitars out of laundry and string. ^CS1E12
  
• Make a castle display out of water sealant cans and boxes. ^LAE2
  
• Rewire a jukebox to play music from a walkman. ^LAE5
  
• Their advice helps their music teacher move on from heartbreak and live peacefully where before she was bitter and angry at everyone. ^LAE7
  
• Outwit Einstein, tricking him into delivering his speech about the Theory of Relativity instead of his bad stand up routine. ^LAE8
  
• Able to escape from Death with a Melvin. ^BJ
  
• Trick Evil Robot Bill and Ted into thinking they're the real good Bill and Ted. ^M#7
  
• Escape from a future prison by starting a fire to set off the fire alarm. ^M#8
  
• Impress Socrates with their philosophizing. ^EA
  
• Are able to convince Hyper-World, a planet who's entire society is predicated on comic book violence, to stop fighting... for a few seconds. ^M#10
  

Rockitude
Skill

• Wyld Stallyns' music eventually becomes good enough that it ushers in interplanetary peace. ^EA
  
  • Their music apparently brings about post-scarcity, or at least post-the need for money. ^CS1E12 ...NOT! ^M#8
  • Post-training and with full band backing, a televized broadcast of their performance is able to cause people of multiple different cultures around the world to jam. The newspapers of the following years also state that their touring schedule causes crops to grow in the American midwest and peace to come to the Middle East, that rumors of their split cause the stock market to plummet and when those rumors are disproven the stock market surges. ^BJ
• Seduce a pair of medieval babes with some off the cuff lyrics. ^EA
  
• Jam with Little Richard and a young Mozart. ^CS1E2
  
• Rock with Angus Young. ^EHA01
  
• Shred with James Hetfield. ^EHA06
  
• Tear it up with Fall Out Boy. ^EHA13
  
• Demolish with Axl Rose and Slash. ^EHA14
  
• Fuck it up with Kurt Kobain. ^EHA15
  
• Play the guitar very well with Freddy Mercury. ^EHA17
  
• Play a pocket organ well enough that the surrounding Roman guards are too busy dancing to notice them. ^AL
  
• Can play basically any instrument placed in front of them. ^FtM
  
• Calm an agitated baby dinosaur. ^BV1#3S
  
• Able to build guitars out of random debris in a gladiatorial death pit in a matter of seconds, then play well enough to pacify a rampaging alien monster who is also the most esteemed music critic in the galaxy. ^BV3#3
  
• Able to rouse a crowd of people from a society so downtrodden that the ability to smile has atrophied out of the gene pool. ^BV1#5
  
  • Writing one song is enough to uproot the entirety of said society and motivate Death to bring them back after dying even though he had lost the ability to do so. ^BV1#6
• Even God and Satan are fans. ^BV2#4
  
• Alien cultures that don't even speak English and who's entire cultures are predicated around war are brought to peace by hearing their music. ^BV3#1
  

Power

• Consistently blow out their amps while playing. ^EA
  
  • Blow out an amp and cause it to catch fire. ^LAE1
• Defeather a bird. ^CS1E1
  
• Shatter a porcelain cup. ^CS1E1
  
• Knock dozens of objects off of a nearby shelf and shatter windows. ^CS1E7
  
• A single resonant note is enough to knock out the Black Knight. ^CS1E7
  
• Even when hooked up to a boombox, are able to blow away people and tables. ^CS2E5
  
• After Bill rewires the amp, it causes Ted's guitar to melt through the floor. ^CS2E7
  
• After Station alters the amps a little, cause any avalanche. ^DH#4
  
• Destroy robots with their riffs alone. ^WS
  

Ghost Bill and Ted

• People can pass right through them, though it causes some unnerving (though not totally unpleasant) sensations. ^BJ
  
• Can possess the bodies of the living. ^BJ
  

Other

• Build the Great Wall of China in a couple days. Although not particularly well. ^CS1E1
  
  • They arrive in China on Saturday and have finished and leave before Monday. ^CS1E1
• Summon rain with an Incan rain dance. ^CS1E3
  
• Play a single player game co-op and one-handed. ^CS2E7
  
• Are able to beat Death at Battleship, Clue, Electronic Football, and Twister. ^BJ
  
  • And Monopoly. ^M#5
  • And Rock, Paper, Scissors. ^EHA17
• Can fly after being zapped by the F-Ray, which only convinces the brain that it is capable of flying, thus allowing it to fly. ^M#10
  
• Spend a week without sleeping and only eating snack foods trying to devise a plan to save Abraham Lincoln. ^M#11
  
• Are temporarily given God's divine enlightenment, able to see everything past and future, and on a micro and macro scale. ^BV2#4
  
• Surf on a black hole. ^BV3#3 They're obviously going through some form of spaghettification, but also given the size of the black hole, the audience, and the official helping them do it, it's likely that this black hole has been altered to be safe to surf.
  
• Have sex. ^BV1#1
  
• Do drugs. ^EHA00
  

Bill

Strength

• Knocks over the Liberty Bell with an elbow. ^CS1E5 The Liberty Bell weighs over 2000 lbs.
  
• Easily pitches and bats cannon balls that Ted had difficulty handling. ^CS1E9
  
• Knocks Ted into the air with an accidental headbutt. ^CS1E9
  
• Floors Monomonop with a yo-yo. ^M#8
  

Speed/Agility

• Pulls Ted out of the way of a flail. ^CS1E3
  
• Snatches a flying chip bag out of the air. ^CS2E2
  
• Bats a baseball pitched hard enough to leave a trail of flames. ^CS2E3
  
• Escapes from being grappled by swinging on a noose while the floor is dropped from under him. ^EHA92
  
• Ducks a bullet at close range. ^EHA08
  

Durability

• Takes a punch from Evil Robot Bill. ^M#7
  
• Takes a punch from Ronda Rousey. ^EHA16
  

Skill

• Spars with Joan of Arc. ^EA

Other

• Strong poker face. ^EA
  
• Folds a paper hat into a to-go box. ^CS1E1
  
• Rewires an amp which causes it to melt Ted's guitar through the floor. ^CS2E7
  
• Beats up the Invisible Woman using dark force powers gained as Darth Bogus. ^EHA05
  
  • Force chokes a man to the ground in an instant. ^EHA05
• Save nearly 70 people from being used as a virgin sacrifice. ^EHA13
  

Ted

Strength

• Knocks out a man in a leather helm with one strike. ^EA
  
• Accidentally sends Marco Polo flying with the swing of a broom. ^CS1E1
  
• Flicks a paper football hard enough to knock an apple into the air. ^CS1E2
  
• Breaks a wooden plank off on the T-800 Terminator, then knocks him into a well using a skateboard. ^EHA92
  

Speed/Agility

• Takes a tumble down the stairs hard enough to knock him out of his metalplate suit and somehow hides before anyone notices. ^EA
  
• Flip jumps to the top of the booth. ^CS1E5
  
• Dodges a swipe from behind from Vlad the Impaler. ^BV3#1
  

Durability

• Takes a tumble down the stairs hard enough to knock him out of his metalplate suit. ^EA
  
• Takes a headbutt to the chin that knocks him off of his feet and into the air. ^CS1E9
  
• Takes a full punch to the gut from Officer T. J. Hooker and brushes it off. ^EHA98
  
• Gets tackled to the ground and waled on by General Thade. ^EHA01
  
• Doesn't seem bothered touching a lightsaber with his bare skin. ^EHA05
  
• Gets smashed over the head with a guitar hard enough to crack it in half. ^BV1#4
  
• Thrown across the room onto the coffee table and is back on his feet shortly. ^BV2#1
  

Skill

• Flicks a paper football in such a way so that it flies around and knocks an apple off of Bill's head from the side. ^CS1E2
  
• Lassos the Black Knight while he's riding a horse full speed. But then forgets to keep a hold on the other end of the rope. ^CS1E7
  
• Briefly holds his own against an Italian fencer. ^LAE6
  

Other

• Reads the time and place text. ^CS1E1
  
• Starts a fire by rubbing George Washington's wooden teeth. ^M#8
  
• In a bad future where Ted was sent to military academy, he was able to double bust a corrupt cop by posing as a drug dealer. ^LAE4
  
• Kicks the Sith out of Darth Bogus. ^EHA05
  
• Gets with Taylor Swift. ^EHA13
  

Good Robot Bill and Ted

Robots created by the most brilliant mind in the universe, Station, to combat the powerful Evil Robot Bill and Ted. ^BJ

• The can be controlled via remote control but also seem to be capable of autonomous movement. ^BJ

Strength

• Punch through a brick wall. ^BJ
  
• Decapitate Evil Robot Bill and Ted with a punch, then cause their bodies to explode with a second punch. ^BJ
  
  • Evil Robot Bill and Ted no sell a punch to the chin from Bill and walk off crashing through a window and into a brick chimney. ^BJ
• Chew up a phone reciever. ^M#3
  
• Punch out the demonic Colonel Oats when the princesses couldn't faze him with their strikes. ^BV2#1
  
  • The princesses were smashing up musical equipment and sending other women flying with their strikes. ^BV1#6S
• High five each other hard enough to destroy each others' hands. Keep the Evil Robot Bill and Ted scaling in mind. ^DH#1
  
• Walk through a wall. ^DH#4
  

Durability

• Still functioning while demolished down to just their heads. ^M#7
  
  • Or arms. ^BV2#3
• Robot Ted gets blasted through several brick walls. ^BV3#4
  

They Run On Car Batteries

• They do. ^BV1#1S
  
• Electrocute two men to death when they try to stab them with rapiers. ^M#1
  
• Cause the booth to randomly jump when they electrocute it after touching some slushie material. ^M#12
  

Other

• Have tape recorders built in. ^M#3
  
• Can receive temporal emails, and promptly get a virus from this. ^BV1#1S
  
• Their code is written in a form of binary compose of "Bill"s and "Ted"s. With a source code constructed entirely of Van Halen references. ^BV1#1S
  
• Become presidents of the United States. ^BV1#2
  

Mecha Bill & Ted

• Rocket away from San Dimas to Scandinavia. ^DH#4
  
• Transforms from houses into humanoids form, piloted by Good Robot Bill & Ted. ^DH#4
  
• Beat up and send flying giant mountain trolls. ^DH#4
  

Mobile Suit Bill & Giganto-Ted

• Burst out of the sewers and through the streets, creating a massive tremor that could be felt from blocks away. ^BV1#6
  
• Disarm an entire crowd of guards with powerful magnets. ^BV1#6
  

The Time Booth

Time Travel

• A time machine that can travel to any place and time on earth after dialing a specific number. The number for each time and place is listed in an attached directory which catalogues most important points in history. ^EA
  
  • If Bill and Ted don't know what time or place they're looking for, they can ask the operator for help identifying a landmark. ^CS2E1
  • Can travel all the way back to the big bang. ^M#2
  • Is able to travel to and from "the center of time" which seems to exist outside of the regular timeline. ^M#6/7
• It is stressed multiple times throughout the series that even while time travelling, the clock in San Dimas is running, so Bill and Ted still have a limited amount of time to accomplish their goals while time travelling. ^EA This isn't well supported by other events and usages of the booth in the series, but it is a consistent concern regardless.
  
• Bill and Ted can use the Phone Booth to interact with themselves in the past, giving themselves needed equipment or advice. ^EA
  
  • Find a note of advice from themselves and then go back and leave the same note without having to even write it. ^AL
  • Get called to go forward from a few minutes beforehand to help out their future selves. ^EHA06
• Allow Bill and Ted to leave and then return to the exact same point in time, with 16 months of training in between. ^BJ
  
  • Further emphasizing that they can return to any point they want and San Dimas time doesn't matter. ^CS2E1
• A trip through spacetime can be cut short and will cause the booth to reappear at a median point. ^CS1E2
  
• A trip can also be reversed, allowing the booth to return to from where it just came. ^CS1E9
  
• A trip can be rerouted mid-stream without too much issue. ^CS1E10
  
• While this is not usually the case, as most time travel trips result in loops, drastically changing past events can lead to alternate present timelines. ^CS2E5
  
  • Bill and Ted use the booth to go back 15 minutes and redo a botched conversation resulting in a different outcome. ^LAE1
  • A closer to canon example. ^M#11
• Time travel 2 seconds into the future to catch an evil robot off guard. ^BV1#3
  
• Falling into the wormhole behind the phone booth can let someone travel through the circuits of time with it. ^EA
  
  • Rufus is able to follow a different phone booth using a grapple electric guitar, despite not being anywhere close to it when it time travels. ^BJ
  • The black knight and his horse are able to follow the booth. ^CS1E7
• Able to travel and be gone in the time it takes for a killer robot to aim and fire a vaporization beam. ^FtM
  
• Can travel to a point in time and space selected by an actual phone number in use at the time. ^CS1E8
  
• Can travel to a different point in space without changing time. ^CS2E8
  
• Elizabeth and Joanna apparently use the booth to travel to alternate timelines, though this mostly happens off screen. ^FtM
  
• Can travel to alternate dimensions entirely. ^M#10
  
• Travels to heaven. ^M#11
  
  • And hell. ^BV2#1
• Teleports from heaven to the earthly timeline, all the way to the Boomerang Nebula, and back in a matter of seconds. ^BV2#4
  
• Using the infinity button, allows the occupants to be multiplied infinitely to interact with all points in space and time simultaneously. ^FtM
  
• The booth can't travel if all of the circuits of time are currently occupied. ^CS2E5
  
• Travelers through the circuits of time can see other travelers in the same area. ^M#2
  
• The booth can seemingly track individuals in a specific time frame as shown by the fact that the future Bill and Ted were able to trick Bill and Ted into thinking they were rich and successful by being in the right place at the right time. ^FtM
  
• Rufus gives Bill and Ted a new booth that can trace the calls of other booths, though it tends to show up a little late. Also it's a rotary phone. ^M#2
  
• Rufus gives Bill a mobile phone which can call back the booth with the correct number. The first time its used however, it calls Doc Brown's Delorean instead. ^EHA92
  
  • Shown here actually working. ^EHA96
• When Ted uses a magazine to try and fix the antennae Bill and Ted end up going inside of the world of the magazine by accident. ^LAE1
  
  • By connecting the booth to a cable box, they're able to enter the worlds of television broadcasts, though it's entirely dependent on what the tv is currently turned to. ^LAE3

The Squint System
An upgraded directory that allows the booth to travel to fictional settings, including books, CDs, movies, and games. ^CS2E2

• Use the booth to enter an episode of Leave It to Badger. ^CS2E4
  
  • Can also use the booth to skip around within the episode. ^CS2E4
  • Once the episode ends, every person in it, including Bill and Ted, disappear. It looks like this. ^CS2E4
  • Foreign objects can persist between episodes, if they're plot relevant. ^CS2E4
• Can bring characters from the fictional world to the real world. ^CS2E4
  
• Characters in the fictional world are fully aware that they're fictional. ^CS2E4
  
• Altering the interior of the fiction does change how the fiction appears in the real world. Also might cause that fiction to become unavoidable? ^CS2E4
  
• Showing places that aren't supposed to be there reveals static. ^CS2E4
  
• Shrinks Bill and Ted down to smaller than a bottlecap when they forget to put the 1 in front. To reverse this effect, they simply dial 9. ^CS2E2
  

Durability

• [Limitation] When the booth's antennae get smashed by a knight's flail it can still travel fine but where and when it lands becomes uncontrollable. ^EA
  
  • [Limitation] A thrown frisbee knocks out the antennae, preventing the booth from time travelling. Ted is able to partially fix this with a magazine and a shoelace, though it causes the jumps to become uncontrollable again. ^LAE1
• Crash lands upside down and works perfectly fine. ^CS1E2
  
  • Tears through the roof of a tent, crash lands upside-down, and then falls onto its side. ^CS1E5
• Slides along the ground, crashing into a horse hard enough to launch it into the air, taking no damage. ^CS1E2
  
• Gets knocked off a crow's nest with a cannonball and tumbles to the deck of the ship without damage. ^CS1E4
  
• Gets run over by a train. ^CS1E8
  
• Tanks a fall from the top of Big Ben's clock face. ^CS1E8
  
• In a cabin as its demolished by a cannon, and protects the people within. ^CS1E9
  
• Smashes up the wooden walls of a log flume. ^CS1E11
  
• Takes several blasts of energy weapon fire and isn't damaged until one hits the antennae. ^LAE4
  
• Gets shot up by Billted 1.0's machine gun arm and has enough in it to make a trip before collapsing. ^BV1#4
  
• Vlad the Impaler has trouble breaking the glass with the hilt of his sword. ^BV3#1
  
• [Limitation] The floor breaks falling onto a bear's head. ^CS1E13
  
• [Limitation] Destroyed by a large boulder falling on it. ^BV2#3
  

Landing Strength

• [Limitation] While operating normally, it doesn't land hard enough to seriously harm an old man. ^CS1E5
  
  • But it did harm this guy. ^LAE1
• While malfunctioning however, digs a hole into the earth in a second. ^CS1E5
  
• Still while malfunctioning, crashes up through some wooden floorboards, knocking aside a dresser. ^CS1E5
  
• Demolishes a small kennel. ^CS1E6
  
• Smashes through a thick wooden roof. ^CS1E10
  
• Smashes through the deck of a ship. ^CS2E3
  
• Sends Columbus ricocheting around the Santa Maria. ^CS2E5
  
• Sends two cowboys a distance away flying from the shockwave. ^EHA92
  
• Smashes Billted 1.0 which is capable of flying straight through walls and windows without damage. ^BV1#3
  
• While malfunctioning, lands hard enough to crater concrete. ^BV1#4
  
• Smooshes a pair of demon spawn. ^BV2#4
  

Other

• Can still make a trip while on its side and is able to land normally. ^CS1E11
  
• It also works while water-logged. ^CS1E1
  
• Sideways AND waterlogged. ^S1E12
  
• It hovers in the air for unsaid reasons while malfunctioning. ^CS1E4
  
• Has some video recording and playback functions, though seemingly a preset one for display purposes. ^FtM
  
• When their regular booth gets blown up, Rufus lets them use a payphone on a stand to much the same effect. ^EHA02
  
• Can sometimes require coins to make calls with. ^NES
  
• It can also make regular calls. ^EA
  

"Catch ya later Bill and Ted!"

Hello all,
Just completed 4 days of in-person visits in New York City (Manhattan NYC) shopping for an engagement ring and thought I'd share my experience (as many of your posts helped me). Please know I am not an expert so just sharing my personal experience.
I met with 6 companies and learned a lot. In addition I also shopped at numerous online retailers. All the companies showed me eye-clean sparkly looking mined diamonds. However, I learned the industry does not provide enough information for us to truly make an informed decision to compare and contrast the diamonds and to ensure we're getting good value for the diamond we end up purchasing. The reality is, most consumers don't seem to care. They buy based on carat size, setting type, price, and sparkle. For those that care more, internet research discusses the 4 C's (usually described in a report from a grading company like GIA or similar). But sadly, this report does not provide all the information required to identify a sparkly mined diamond.
They allow you to compare and contrast in a controlled setting (in-store with fancy lighting), against a few other diamonds (also controlled). If you have a favorite diamond from one store and want to contrast it against another (or against one online), you are unable to do so. Only seeing diamonds side by side, without the controlled lighting, would we be able to truly see the possible difference in color tint and sparkle.
However, there are add'l reports and tools that allow you to ascertain how sparkly your diamond will perform - but almost none of the stores provide these reports. Some of the online retailers do - but they only provide some, not all, of these reports.
Finally, because consumers only care about carat size, setting type, price, and sparkle the cutters (who cut the raw diamonds) are incentivized not to create perfect sparkly cuts without inclusions, but to keep as much of the raw material as possible, which results in many of these diamonds have inclusions, clouds, and angles that do not optimize the sparkle of the diamond (but do leave them a higher carat size) which is what consumers (and retailers want). Retailers want this because they know 2 things... they can charge more for larger stones, and they can sell stones that aren't perfect to consumers since they don't provide us with enough info to make an informed decision. The result is what I found when shopping. Almost every retailer trots out diamonds that appear sparkly and pretty - but have significant flaws (which are not generally noticeable to the naked eye - but do reduce the shine nonetheless and would be more apparent if shown side by side in natural light).
At a bare minimum, the reports one should look at are GIA Report, Holloway Cut Report, and the Gemex Light Performance Report. Most retailers do not provide these reports unless asked. One must ask, if the diamonds they are showing rank as good on these reports, why would they withhold this information? It seems obvious to me they withhold it because the diamonds we are shown do not rank well on the reports. And without data, one is left to choose a diamond solely based on their "eye" and budget, which will not get you the highest quality diamond at the price you can afford.
When in store, optimally, you also want to do 3 things.
1- Look at the diamond through am (Idealscope) hearts and arrows viewer to make sure the hearts and arrows are clean and present (one can be purchased for ~$15 if you want to bring your own). But, imo, any retailer who doesn't have one sitting there for you to use, is obviously showing you diamonds that will not pass this visual inspection.
2- Use an ASET Scope or other light scope viewer to identify how much "bleed" the diamond has. That is, how much light is refracted back to the eye - vs how much light passes through the diamond (and not back to the eye). This will help you ascertain the brilliance/sparkle of the diamond. You can buy/bring your own, but again, any retailer not offering this knows the diamonds they are showing you won't allow their diamond to grade high.
3- Look at the diamonds side by side, over something white, in natural light (put your hand over the bright lights the store has). See from the top if the sparkle differs and see from the side if you can see a yellow looking tint. This may prove difficult if you cannot sufficiently block their bright light and use natural light (which is how you'll be looking at the diamond through your life when it's on your finger.
If you use all the tools above you'll be more equipped to make an informed decision. Now, sadly, after doing all the above, I'm still not 100% confident I received the best diamond at the best price. I am however, more confident I received an excellent cut, sparkly diamond, in the largest size for my budget. In fact of the 24+ diamonds I saw, only 3 passed the tests above - and odds are I would've ended up with one of those rather than the one I bought. So at the very least I ended up with one of the 3 and put the odds in my favor that I wasn't as ripped off as I would've been.
Another thing to consider is your setting. Setting prices (for the exact same setting) were all over the place (from a low of $850 to a high of $3,800). Again, these were for near identical settings. This is another trick... a store may appear to be giving you a deal on a diamond - but once you include the setting price - you end up not saving at all (or vice versa).
On to the reviews. Budget was $20k all in, incl setting, taxes, and shipping/insurance. Round brilliant natural mined diamond. Setting 14k yellow gold 4 prong pave, and thus my color grade to optimize size was ~I (for an excellent stone any of the near colorless options (G-J) will look white next to yellow gold so figured no need to pay more for a colorless grade. Based on my budget, stones I were shown were in the 1.8-2.2 carat range.
Lauren B Jewelry:
(i) Showed 4 eye clean diamonds within my budget. Did not provide any reports alongside the diamonds. However, upon request, did provide the GIA reports. Did not offer any add'l reports and did not provide me with a hearts/arrows ideal-scope or ASET viewer in store.
(ii) Setting price was $2,100 (14k)
My take: Excellent friendly in-store service. Diamonds shown were the lowest quality of any I saw during my visit (as it appears to stay within my budget and size request they had to drop down to SI level) GIA reports and loupe confirmed a variety of inclusions and clouds. Settings were some of the most beautiful however and were priced on the lower end of the setting prices I received.
Jangmi Jewelry:
(i) Showed me 3 eye clean diamonds with GIA reports provided without asking. Showed me stones through hearts and arrows viewer without asking. Provided Holloway Cut reports after meeting upon request. Claimed Gemex reports are redundant and not required once someone has seen the HCA Cut report.
(ii) Setting price quoted at $2,800 (14k, but quote includes adding pave to prongs which may have increased price slightly).
My take: Friendly service, although English was 2nd language. Diamonds were priced competitively however GIA and Holloway showed only average stones (with the better GIA report having a worse Holloway score and the worse GIA report having a better Holloway score). They had a hearts and arrows viewer in-store and the stones did have them (to my untrained eye). However. without a Gemex and ASET viewer it was impossible for me to truly identify the sparkle/brilliance of their stones. It is ultimately possible the stones are above average, however, I was not provided the tools to corroborate this.
Soho Gem:
(i) Showed me 5 eye clean diamonds with GIA reports alongside (without asking). Would not provide Holloway Cut or Gemex reports but did offer to have me come back to the store to view the diamonds through their ASET viewer as well as through an Ideal-Scope. This was not offered to me while I was in-store.
(ii) Setting quoted at $3,400 (18k). 18k increased setting price slightly as well as pave around basket.
My take: Friendly in-store service. The specs of the diamond I liked the most were similar to the stone I ultimately chose. It is possible had I been willing to trek back to the store to see the stones through the ASET viewer and Ideal-Scope the stone may have proved excellent in terms of light leakage and hearts and arrows. But without the add'l HCA and Gemex reports, I'd have lacked the information to truly make an informed decision. Further their diamond was $1,300 higher - so it seemed a waste to go through the effort only to see a diamond that matched the specs of the diamond I bought. Plus their setting was significantly more expensive (even when taking 18k into consideration) and they required a 50% deposit to begin.
Ring Concierge:
(i) Showed me 3 eye clean diamonds. Included GIA reports but would not offer add'l reports calling them "unnecessary as GIA certified diamonds with a cut grade of triple excellent... will have maximum brilliance". She claimed any add'l reports function as a "sales/marketing technique".
(ii) Setting quoted at $3,600 (14k). They do however offer the thinnest band at 1.5mm which no other retailer would build (thinnest anyone else would go was 1.8mm).
My take: Friendly in-store service. However, setting prices were the highest of any retailer and when a customer asks for reports on physics/facts only to be told these are sales/marketing techniques, my antenna go way up. She knows (or should know) that not all of GIA's excellent cut diamonds are optimal in terms of brilliance/fire/scintillation and light leakage. Alongside their high setting prices this store was a hard pass. But ahhh, those beautiful settings.
Frank Darling:
(i) created a 4 diamond flight for me to see in store.
My take: Prior to the meeting I called to ask if they would provide any of the reports described herein and they said they do not provide any of the reports, or ASET or hearts/diamond viewers, so I cancelled the meeting. No point in wasting everyone's time if I will not be provided with enough data to make an informed decision.
I.D. Jewelers (Yekutiel Davidov):
(i) showed me 1 stone in-store (and had another queued up for the following day). Provided GIA report alongside the stone and walked me through minimum specs of the GIA report (i.e., showed me how to weed out certain stones immediately, such as what depth % is optimal, what fluorescence is acceptable, etc). Provided Holloway Cut Report and Gemex report via request.
(ii) Setting quoted at $850-$1,100 depending on 14k or 18k gold preference.
My take: Super friendly and knowledgeable service. The diamond graded very well on all 3 reports but the diamond price was on the higher side. However, with the lowest setting price of all the retailers, the total net price was the same as the others and within budget. Only required $1k down. Ultimately was my 2nd favorite diamond. Would've been great to see the diamond through an ASET or Light Scope Viewer but decided not to as I found another slightly larger diamond that passed all the tests.
David S Diamonds:
(i) showed me 2 in-store diamonds. Provided all the reports and viewers described herein. Also provided training as to why I needed all the reports and viewers (full disclosure - this is the store that explained why I needed all the reports and viewers described herein). So obviously he'd provide everything.
(ii) Setting quoted at $950 (14k).
My take: Very friendly and patient in-store service generous with their time. Provided training on how to buy a diamond and implored me to go back out and to the retailers and shop with my new knowledge (before buying). Showed me a diamond I ultimately bought (2.03 carat, J, VVS2, GIA certified, excellent Gemex scores, excellent under light scope, clean hearts and arrows). Saved me ~$2,200-$3,500 vs the other stores with excellent confidence that the stone I bought is as good as it can get within my budget and specs.
James Allen:
Also shopped online at James Allen and even looked at the "competitor" diamonds that the Holloway Report showed once I ran that report. James Allen's True Hearts competitive diamond (with similar specs and grades) was over $5,000 more than the diamond I purchased. And this from the "low cost" online retailer without a storefront.
Other retailers: Kamni, R&R Jewelry and NYC Wholesale Diamonds could not accommodate in-person meetings the week I was in town so I couldn't asses them.
To sum up, if someone wanted me to recommend them a place to start, I'd start with David S Diamonds to get the learning he provides. Then once you have a diamond and price you like from him - go to Yekutiel at I.D. Jewelers and see if he can source something similar at a similar (or better) price. This way you'll have a few options to choose from. You can also double check either of the diamonds you found vs James Allen (or Blue Nile) once you pull the Holloway Cut Report (or have David So or Yekutiel Davidov provide you the Rapport pricing for the diamonds they are showing). This may give you some confidence that you're getting a decent value/price.
If I had to start this process over again, I would not visit any of the diamond stores that have storefronts and significant overhead - I discovered many of them are Instagram stores - selling much lower quality diamonds for the same price because they are popular among the IG crowd . Further, from my limited experience, their settings are way overpriced in comparison and their deposit policies (generally 50% down) are absurd. After all they haven't given you the diamond yet... all you should be required to pay for is the setting.
Finally, please know I am not a diamond expert, and am just a noob who is sharing their learnings over a very small period and very small sample size. I'm simply sharing what I learned and if it helps someone, great. If not - feel free to ignore.

Look, I was your average poison swamp raider ganking any and all who entered The Road of Sacrifices in DS3, the odds were almost always favouring the invader and I get why people sometimes straight up disconnected their internet connection just to ruin my fun, but at the end of the day embers only lasts until you die. You could still summon people without an ember with very low faith.
In Elden Ring I hop in with my bandit outfit and shortsword ready to whack some terrified swamp enthusiasts like I did in DS3, but all I end up seeing is full gank squads, completely twinked out with the most disgusting setups imaginable. Just a straight up bukkake mosh pit of AoWs and nuke spells, you don't stand a chance unless you decide to make your own cancerous nuke build, and even then the odds are against you.
I don't understand why FromSoft didn't stick to Embers/Greatrunes being the determining factor for whether or not you could get invaded, I understand that people don't want to be invaded whenever they coop, but if Rune Arcs was what counted people could just wait until the boss fight if they so desperately needed those extra stats.
Don't get me wrong, I love regular 1v1 dueling and it's perfectly fine even when you're up against a toxic build or when they don't follow the rules, it still feels like you stand a chance and when you do take someone out it feels all the more rewarding. But there's just something about using mimic veils and sneaking about in a fairly open environment that feels way more entertaining, but 9 times out of 10 you've lost before you've even begun fighting.
Idk, it feels like everyone who ever got invaded in DS is now getting some long overdue payback and taking full advantage of it, I suppose I can't really complain since the old argument was: "JuSt DoN'T usE eMbErS!" And the new argument is: "ThAt'S wHaT yOu GeT fOr InVadInG!"
​
How do you feel about the invasion system in ER? Better or worse than DS?

I (m15) am not a social person. My idea of a good time is to sit alone, blasting death metal, coding, and shutting out the world. But there's a girl in my grade, I'll call her A, who I've gotten to know a little bit just from general interactions, even though I usually have headphones on and am on my laptop during school, who is everything I would want out of a partner. She's pretty, nice, and doesn't do any of the popular kid BS like being an asshole for sport, even though she's adjacent at least to that crowd, and is generally just a great person. I have pretty bad ADHD and have to take meds during the school day, which i don't try and hide or anything, will stutter or trip up when I talk, especially when I'm mad or talking to girls, and I'm generally seen as the weird kid, which is made worse by how awkward I've been the few times I've tried to be social and talk to people, and my few friends are nowhere near A's social group. A's always been super nice to me, and we've had a few longer conversations, most notably when i sat next to her on the plane for a school trip, but she's nice to EVERYONE, and when I see her having conversations with the special needs kids, being just as nice as ever, I can't help but wonder how genuine she was being to me. I want to at least try to interact with her more, as we have a couple classes together, but I have no idea how, or even who she thinks of me as. Any advice on any of this?

I'm not new in this type of games since I've platinumed Bloodborne, Demon's Souls, Sekiro, and I'm playing Elden Ring for the first time right now. However, I haven't played any Dark Souls game. I feel very excited because of this discount so I want to buy at least one. I only have a budget of $50 to spend on them. Which of them would you suggest me to buy? Thanks beforehand
DS1: $20 DS2: $20 DS3: $30

Finally finished my next Holiday Script. But you can fill it whenever you want, if you're interested. No rush.
Word Processor file available upon request. Any SFX included are just suggestions for reference. If you want to use the script, then you can change whatever you want, and post it wherever you want. Monetization OK. Please just let me see the finished product. Credit me by putting「Script by The Mousou Koujou https://www.youtube.com/@TheMousouKoujou 」in your description, and if possible, placing this image at some point in the video, like an outro: Business Card
My commissions are open! If you like my style and want a specific script, don't hesitate to ask! https://ko-fi.com/themousoukoujou/commissions
START
[Excited] Hey dad~, I'm home! I had the craziest day at work. I can't wait to tell you all about it, and…
[Calming down] …Whoa, what's with you, dad? Why are you all dressed up?
(Pause)
Special night? What are you talking about? You didn't tell me anything.
(Pause)
[Annoyed] Well you know how much I hate surprises, so that was a dumb idea. Just explain it already. What kind of "special night" is this supposed to be?
[Confused] Are you…going to a party or something?
(Pause)
[Annoyed] …huh? Is that some kind of joke? Your Girlfriend is coming over? The very same girlfriend who you conveniently forgot to mention before this very moment? This isn't even a surprise anymore. It's an ambush! Why didn't you say anything!?
(Pause)
No no no, don't try to blame me. I'm reacting this way Because you kept quiet. You’re the one who messed up here.
(Pause) Yeah, you told me you would start dating again. And I supported you, ‘cause I didn't think Mom would want you to stay alone forever. But that was a while ago, and you haven't said anything since. Now all of a sudden you’re close enough with some random woman to bring her home? (Pause) Well she’s random to me. You haven't even told me her name. (Pause)
Alice, huh. Makes sense, since she's clearly driven you insane! (Sigh)
Fine, whatever. What time is she supposed to get here anyway? (Door bell rings) …You have got to be kidding me.
(Pause)
"My best behavior?" You think I can promise something like that in this situation?
(Pause)
Ugh, fine. I promise. Let's just get this over with.
(Front Door opens)
[Polite] Hello, pleasure to finally meet you~. I've heard so~ much about you. All good things, of course. (Giggle)
Oh, can I take your coat?
(pause)
It's not a hassle at all. Please let me…oh.
[Nervous] Oh wow. Wh-what a lovely dress. Wh-where did you, um, buy it.
(Pause)
A gift from my father, hmm? And did he happen to mention where he got it?
(Pause)
Well it actually belonged to my mother. It's been collecting dust ever since she…
Well the point is, no one has worn it in a while. So he must have decided to give it a fresh start with you.
[Whisper to yourself] it's like he's trying to replace her…
[Normal volume] Hmm? Oh I was just thinking…"This is the place for her". (Giggle)
You belong here with us, and it's nice to finally have you over for dinner. Come on, let's go to the dining room and enjoy whatever dad tried to cook.
(Glasses clang, and various cutlery sounds as they ear together)
(Heavy sigh)
[exhausted] She's finally~ gone. I used up all of my energy for the month. I never want to put on a show like that ever again.
(Pause)
What do you mean? You told me to be on my best behavior. So what else was I supposed to do?
(Pause)
Well if I didn't put on a show, then I wouldn't have been able to hide how much I wanted her to leave.
(Pause)
No, I did not like her. For the record, I tried. I really did. But everything she talked about was so stupid and pointless. And did you really not mind how much she talked about her exes? Would it have killed her to focus more on you?
(Pause)
[Annoyed] Of course I'm upset!
I told you. I'm like this because you kept it a secret. We're supposed to tell each other everything, but you kept this from me. I'm sorry dad, but I don't think I can trust you.
(Pause)
No, I mean it. You went about this all wrong, and I don't know how to deal with this.
[Curious] …Hmm? Can you…say that again?
(Pause)
You mean that? You'll really do anything I say?
(Pause)
Hmmmm~
Well a new car, or some jewelry would definitely help me forgive you~ (giggle)
But really, I don't need anything fancy. If you're that serious about making things work out with her, then I also have to try my best. I mean Look at me, being all selfish after telling you to put yourself out there. it doesn't get any more childish than that. So all I really want from you, is her contact info.
(Pause)
Yes, I need to go meet with her, and be honest. Like I said, I definitely can't put on this act again. So I need her to see the real me, and hear all of my real concerns. After that, I think the 3 of us will he able to move on. What do you say?
(Pause)
Aww, thanks dad. You won't regret this. I love you! Good night~
(Long pause)
(Front door opes)
Dad, I'm home~. Da~d? Where are…oh. There you are. What are you doing all curled up on the couch like that. Are you…are you watching the news again? You hate watching the news. You always say it's too much negativity.
(Pause)
Huh? What do you mean you "want to be negative"?
Wait…is this still about Alice? Ugh, dad I told you; you have to get over her. I mean, clearly she's over you. Otherwise she wouldn't have ghosted you for the past week. Please look at me, dad.
(Pause)
Dad, come on. Just forget about her. And if losing her makes you feel this bad, then maybe we were wrong.
(Pause)
I'm saying…maybe you don't need to get back out there. I mean, between me, and mom's spirit, don't you have enough overbearing women to deal with? (Giggle)
You don't really need to add Alice to the list. Maybe one day you'll find someone new. But you don't have to rush it. For now, the 3 of us…we're still a family. Isn't that why we keep her pictures around? So come on. Show your real family some appreciation. Get off the couch and give me a hug.
(Pause)
(Couch squeak sfx)
Finally ~, thanks dad, it's nice to…hey, what's wrong? Why are you giving me that look?
(Pause)
What do you mean? What's wrong with what I'm wearing? I think it looks very nice. And it fits me perfectly.
(Pause)
Hmm? Oh yeah~ I remember now. I guess you did give this fancy dress to Alice. Well she, um, decided to return it when I went to visit her.
(Pause)
Yeah, Alice uh, remembered what I said about the dress belonging to mom. She practically begged me to take it back. In retrospect, maybe that was her way of saying she was done with us.
I'm sorry, I, uh, really thought I mentioned this when I got back from her place. It must have slipped my mind somehow.
(Pause)
"Not that kind of woman", huh…
And that's why you'll believe her over your own daughter?
She put you through hell this past week, and you'll still side with her? I can't believe you.
(Pause)
Wh-what do you mean? Of course she's the one who put you through hell. That's why you need to stop focusing on her.
(Pause)
N-no that's not what I meant. You don't need to interrogate me. What do I have to do with any of this?
(Pause)
I have not been acting weird!
Dad, please stop with all these questions!
Dad! You're wrong!
(pause)
[Yelling] No! I didn't do anything to her! She did it to herself!
(Deep breath and long exhale)
[Eerily calm] …Fine, dad. Since you can't let sleeping whores lie, I'll spell it out for you.
Alice won't be returning your calls.
She won't be speaking to any one anymore. I made sure of that.
I swear, I really did go over there just to talk. To make an effort, for your sake. You were so head over heels in love. What kind of daughter would I be if I didn't support that. But when I got there, all of that crumbled away. I rang the bell, and the door opened. But she wasn't on the other side. No, it was her other boyfriend. I don't want to go into the messy details, but let's just say that by the look and smell of the place, there was no other explanation for what was going on in there. And believe me, I looked for one. I tried so~ hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. But it was all true. She was sleeping with another guy, the day after you brought her to your home. That's the kind of woman she was.
(Pause)
Yes, that's right. Was.
(Pause)
"What did I do? "
I did what I had to do. To protect you from her and her lies.
I told the boyfriend that I had the wrong apartment, and left. I hid, and waited for him to leave. Even got a clear picture of him leaving, since you wouldn't believe me otherwise. Here, see for yourself.
(Pause)
Anyway, after that, I went back and rang the bell again. When she opened the door for me like an idiot, I pushed her back inside to…confront her.
I remember wanting to convince her to break things off with you. She said something about having needs. After that, I got a little…upset.
It's weird. People usually justify it by saying they "lost control".
But in that moment, I had Never. Felt. More in control. It's like I knew exactly what to do, and how to do it.
And when it was all over, I felt a peace, something unlike anything I had ever felt before. Then it was just a matter of cleaning up. By the time I left, it was like I was never there in the first place. The remaining evidence only pointed to the last guy who was in her apartment. I'm sure the detectives enjoyed such an open-shut case. I'm surprised you didn't see the story since you've been obsessively watching the news all week.
And you know what the best part is? I got away with it! (Laugh)
It's been a week since then, and all they've done is arrest the other guy. Makes sense of course. Her social media presence was mysteriously erased, so there was no way to connect her to you. And this dress, which never should have been in her apartment in the first place, is finally back home where it belongs.
Everything worked out perfectly!
That's why I'm sure of it. I'm sure this had to have been a blessing from mom. She's still looking after us, keeping us safe. Even after all this time, she hasn't abandoned us. She showed me what to do, and protected me from the consequences because it was the right thing to do. And that's why I'm certain that we'll be okay. Just the 3 of us. Forever.
(Pause)
Oh dad, I know you don't feel it now. But you will. I'll make sure of it.
(Pause)
You'll what? Turn me in? You would have your own daughter arrested for helping you out? Does that really make sense?
(Pause)
Of course I helped you. Now that woman won't cheat on you ever again. And she can't distract you from your real family. This is a good thing. Why can't you focus on that?
I don't think calling me names is going to change anything. But it's okay, I know you're stressed. We can talk more about this in the morning. Lemme give you a hug.
Hey, don't flinch away from me. Just let your daughter hug you.
[Whispering in ear slowly until the end] Oh wow. Your pulse is racing. You really are stressed. Or could it be…you're scared? I wonder what you could be scared of. (Giggle)
But it doesn't really matter.
I promise, from now on, mom and I will be sure to protect you, so you don't need to be afraid.
Not now.
Not ever.
I love you dad. We~ love you.
Good night.
END

This is a forgotten PS1 Konami game that takes a bit of inspiration from RE but with much more action-focused design. It stars two routes featuring a male ronin and a female ninja fighting through a demon-infested town while also pursuing their own personal goals.
There’s limited healing supplies, fixed cameras and a map to explore like in RE, but the inventory management and tank controls give way to a much more varied and in-depth combat system (you even have a fighting game-like meter that lets you pull off super moves), to the point that it ends up feeling more like a 3D beat ‘em up. The ronin, Kotaro Hiba, focuses on straight-up sword-fighting and has a pretty good selection of supers, while the ninja, Lin, wields a smaller sword but has also access to a great variety of throwable items. I don't mind Lin, but I do think Kotaro is a decent bit more fun. The game does still make good use of the exploration it allows, allowing you to find healing items and even secret weapons if you go out of your way to look around.
Overall, Soul of the Samurai is surprisingly fun, relatively simple but punchy and well-paced, and while the story isn’t really anything special, it’s still enjoyable and I like how you learn half of it in each playthrough, and then finally get the true ending once you’ve done both. I'm surprised at how this game that received an official translation and came from a pretty popular studio hasn't really seemed to gain any attention, not even as a "cult classic" of sorts. I think it's quite good.
My full playthrough of Soul of the Samurai up to the true ending took me 3.5/4 hours, and while there isn't much (or any) side content, I would definitely recommend checking it out.

I’ve been struggling with appetite loss for a while and over the past month it seems to have gotten worse. I smoke and sometimes use edibles to get myself to eat enough, but lately it doesn’t seem to matter how much I eat; my stomach will hurt in the morning and I’ll often throw up and feel nauseous and dizzy, making it harder for me to eat anything for the rest of the day. Sometimes eating in the morning seems to trigger this, but after I am able to get a good amount of food in me, I’m usually fine and can eat for the rest of the day normally.
Yesterday I ate a lot, hoping to skip breakfast and any nauseous feelings eating would cause. This morning I woke up, felt normal, and went to the bathroom. I pooped and immediately started feeling faint, sweating, and had a ringing in my ears. I started coughing, feeling the urge to vomit; it felt like I was going to die. I coughed up yellow bile and started feeling better after a minute or so, but at work this morning I felt nauseous and at one point so dizzy and weak again I had to go home. I found this sub this morning and it seemed a lot like the episodes I’ve been having; was this a vasovagal response? I didn’t faint but I’ve experienced a similar feeling a few times, and more and more often lately.
I haven’t seen a doctor for any of this but I’m planning on it. Without the whole nearly-fainting feeling I’d likely be able to get enough to eat, but sometimes it seems like eating in the morning is what causes that feeling. Anyway thanks for reading, if anyone has advice or similar experiences I’d love to hear them because I’m struggling to put the pieces together myself.

I work as a manager for a large sports betting company and my role has me in contact and speaking with other managers from the largest sports books in the world. I have good relationships with all of these people but wasn't sure if it would be strange if I added them on Linkedin? Just looking at my future career and opportunities I think having connections with these people on Linkedin could be quite valuable but wasn't sure if it was breaking any unspoken code/roles connecting outside of your company.

10th- 73%
12th- 69%
Btech(till 6th sem)- 7.87cgpa
Category - OBC NCL
Will start preparing for CAT from 7th semester. What percentile should I target? Can I get any good colleges with this profile?
I hate coding.

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​
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
​
Chapter 90: Death Of Death
The frozen chamber became a blur as I performed a beautiful, if involuntary roll in the air, before promptly finding myself engulfed in the familiar cushions which were Coppelia's arms.
It wasn't the softest of catches. But it wasn't the softest of landings, either. Because my arrival caused her–and me–to be driven right into the deep snow beneath us.
Poof!
A concerning sound greeted our combined impact … and yet that was little compared to the almighty noise of the Snow Dancer's embarrassing demise!
An echoing crescendo like no other filled my ears. And no wonder.
Falling before me had been a shower of sharpened hailstones, clattering viciously against the spot where she’d stood. The chamber groaned as the weight of so much frozen snow hurtled back down meant an eruption which blanketed the air in a veil thicker than any fog or steam.
Even so, one noise rose above the din like an ocean wave amidst a storm.
“Ahahahahaha … hahahahah … aahaahahahahah!~”
Coppelia's muffled laughter greeted me before my head even popped out of the snow.
The only joy was I couldn't see anything. And yet I could still all too easily imagine her slapping the snow in rabid amusement even as she lay buried in it.
“Ahahaha … hahahahaah … ahahahaha~”
I pursed my lips as the laughter washed over me.
Perhaps I should remain buried in the snow? At least then I wouldn't have to witness her expression as the fog cleared.
“Uff … hrrghh … ughhh ...”
I put the temptation aside as I slowly rose from the snow, using Starlight Grace as a guiding star as I dug myself out. Still, it clung to me like vines entangled around a branch as I released myself piecemeal, arms and torso first, followed lastly by my legs as I slowly extracted myself.
Finally, I pulled my foot out.
A bare foot.
Horrified, I crawled back into the hole and retrieved my boot. Then, after ensuring my footwear was back where it belonged, I shook my head to remove the white hat that'd formed atop my hair.
To … To think that I'd almost been sighted without my boot of authority!
My soles symbolised my power!
Without it, I'd be nothing but an extremely beautiful maiden!
Quietly thanking the mist which engulfed the chamber, I rose to my feet and assessed the state of the chamber. There was nothing to see other than a thick shroud of white. And so it fell to my expert foot poking technique to draw out any pertinent information.
All I felt were holes. Many, many holes.
“Hm hm hm hm hmm ♫.”
Yes, I was in a very good mood.
And why not?
I'd just sent a finely crafted hailstorm crashing down onto the Snow Dancer! And judging by the many pits I could feel with the tip of my boot, the A-rank sword saint had become an A-rank emmental!
“Ohohohoho! Behold! My ability to cut snow as I would my award winning clay busts! Foolish woman! No matter how many centuries you live, you can never hope to use the elements to defeat me!”
I filled the chamber with my mocking laughter, allowing it to echo throughout the mist. And rightfully so!
To think that my [Winter Snow Shovel] could so readily counterattack an ability with such a frightful name as [Gravity Reversal]! Why, this not only proved that naming conventions were utterly irrelevant, but that Starlight Grace proved the superior weapon!
An elven sword with a sapphire pommel? An impressive thing. But compared to the splendour of ruby, there was no contest! Not only was the gemstone I sported costlier on every market, but my sword was a thing of stories!
True, I may not remember any … but that hardly matters! Even an elven sword was pedestrian compared to Starlight Grace's long history! And as soon as I returned to the Royal Villa, I would inquire as to what they were … in order to add my own!
Ohohohoho!
Yes, my own place in my family's proud legacy was now secure.
With only a gardening technique, I had defeated a sword saint. Such a humiliating loss for her needed to be sung by minstrels the world over. Did it matter if I hadn't actually struck her with my blade? No, of course not. That only made my victory even more worthy of applause.
But just in case it did matter, well–
“Oooph … that was close!”
The Snow Dancer was willing to provide me another opportunity.
Instantly, all the mist was swept aside to the sound of a blade singing through the air.
In its place, I saw an elven woman standing upon the precipice of a thousand tiny craters in the floor.
“I mean, seriously,” said Ophelia, wiping a bead of non-existent sweat from her brows. “I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel there, and let me tell you, it was a lot whiter than I thought it'd be!”
I was outraged.
“Why are you still standing?!” I demanded. “I just magnificently sent your own attack back into you! How dare you still be conscious! It wasn't just beautiful, it was poetic! Do … Do you have no sense for theatre?!”
I pointed below me.
There, peeking out from the snow, was the top of Coppelia's fluffy golden hair. A pair of turquoise eyes clearly blinked at the sight of the Snow Dancer still very much on her feet.
“Even my future handmaiden was mocking your demise! How do you think she feels knowing that her laughter is now wasted?! The embarrassment is palpable!”
Ophelia shrugged, wiping a smattering of snow from her shoulders. The only harm to come to her.
“I'm good at dancing. Especially on snow.”
“You danced out of the way?”
“Name's the game. Granted, I never knew I was good at dancing out of the way of my own [Gravity Reversal], but it's good to know that's a thing I can do now. You know, the next time absolutely nobody is going to turn my own technique into an ice storm. How did you do that?”
I raised Starlight Grace.
“Through effort and countless hours dedicated to my craft,” I replied, incensed that she lacked the common decency to even feign being deceased. “And if you enjoyed the spectacle, then I'll be delighted to demonstrate it to you once again!”
The elven woman wore a look of academic curiosity on her face.
“Oh? With your ice technique ... or perhaps your wind one? Gotta admit, that one almost hit me. Good thing I'm also fast, huh? A variable speed skill. It's more like a spell. That's impressive. I'm guessing it's your signature ability?”
“Quite so. I favour it for the removal of insects without the harming of leaves.”
The Snow Dancer smiled.
Then, she adjusted her feet, adopting a ready posture while sheathing her blade once more.
“I like you. It's been a long time since anybody's stopped my attacks. It's great! It's even enough to make me forget the boredom. And I've been so, so bored.”
I raised an eyebrow.
Yes, my gardening techniques were somewhat becoming more akin to Clarise's wild experiments than ways to shoo away caterpillars these days. I wouldn't deny that. But a sword saint should also be able to cut faster than the eye could follow.
This is not the impression I had so far. Had her foes been so poor that they'd simply accepted their fates without so much as a look of indignation?
“I believe the quality of your opponents have been severely lacking,” I said, quite honestly.
She beamed.
“I think so, too.”
Fwishhh.
Brimming with joyful, murderous intent, a newly made circle of pure golden flames suddenly erupted around the Snow Dancer's figure. Snow melted around her in a blazing ring, and yet the newly billowing smoke failed to hide the smile keener than any blade.
This, I knew, was not [Gravity Reversal].
“I mean, I'm pretty sure the boredom's driven me insane. Actually insane. Do you know how long it's been since I've actually spoken this much with someone? Actually spoken, that is. And not whatever weird stuff I say when I'm speaking out loud. This is definitely the reason I'm still single.”
Suddenly, I felt my bangs rustling against my forehead as an unknown breeze swept through the chamber. It fell across the elven woman, lifting her own silver hair as though she were stood upon a clifftop.
“So, I'm feeling flashy! And since you've used your own signature ability, I'm going to do something special and use mine. I mean, I haven't done it for a while, so I hope you don't mind if I lose my footwork slightly. But well, I'm also not looking forward to being bored again, so maybe it's okay to miss just once.”
The Snow Dancer let out a short breath, her eyes closing.
When she opened them again, nothing could be seen of the blue irises.
Instead, they blazed with a golden light.
“Eh, who am I kidding,” said Ophelia, slowly drawing her sword, now glimmering with a light to match her eyes. “I never miss. After all ... mine is the sword to pierce the void, cutting a path through boundless infinity.”
The elven woman pushed back on her heel.
“Snow Helix Form, 10th Stance … [Yuleblade Dance].”
And then–she skipped.
In that moment, the very air between us shattered.
As if reality itself made way for her oncoming attack, everything between us cracked into a thousand fragments as viscerally as broken glass. The pieces floated with the grace of dandelion seeds, each shard a kaleidoscope of colour and dazzling light as hints of pure darkness appeared between the cracks.
As she skipped, she danced, the fragments of reality collected around her drawn sword as she spun. The shards gathered and coalesced around her blade, before trailing behind her as an exact mirror copy. And not just one.
They were endless.
I blinked.
In that moment, she had covered the distance between us. And I understood why Ophelia was more than a sword saint.
She was the Snow Dancer. And this was her ballroom.
Because as she approached, only the snow was undisturbed.
She glided upon it like a swan in a lake as behind her, countless copies of her sword trailing in her wake as she spun like a dancer with a ribbon.
Ophelia danced with footwork lighter than air.
And this time, there was no quelling with my scowl.
Innumerable swords twisted and ripped from reality followed her like deadly marionettes upon strings, each poised in an executing attack. Even if one blade was stopped, those that followed would continue unhindered. Her [Yuleblade Dance] was not a strike, but an ode to death as she elegantly skipped and twirled towards me.
Yes.
This was indeed a problem.
For her.
Because if the Snow Dancer wished to dance, then she needed an invitation.
My …. was what I was seeing true?
A mere titled commoner, lower than the lowest of nobility, daring to assume she could dance with me?
The … The sheer nerve! The cheek! The absolute disrespect!
I could put up with holes in the ceiling! Minotaurs robbing me! Rusty traps trying to murder me!
But for the Snow Dancer to not know dancing etiquette was an absolute travesty to common decency! Who did she bribe to attain her title?!
There was protocol! Heaps of it! More than could be written in any rulebook!
To do away with social convention with such callous disregard was an insult to my status and time! Inquiries needed to be made! Courtesies exchanged! Gifts rendered! Did she not realise how staggeringly popular I was?!
Why, the waiting list to dance with me stretched longer than the walls of the Royal Villa! During a soirée, the queue stretched so far that a sign denoting waiting time needed to be utilised!
No … were this a clash of swordsmanship, then I'd have no answer.
But if this was a dance, then I was peerless.
Because while snow was this woman's ballroom, this entire kingdom was my court. And upon it, I chose who to dance with.
As the sword saint neared and reality bent to her will, I refused to humour her request.
With Starlight Grace raised, I adopted a pose in readiness. The Snow Dancer smiled in response, skipping towards me as her silver sword stood poised to meet my heart.
And then–
I turned and stuck my leg out.
“...... Huh?”
The Snow Dancer blinked.
The next moment, all I saw of the elven woman was her bewildered expression as my foot caught her ankle.
Ohohohohhhohohoho!
Here it was! My ultimate ability! … Again!
[Princess Rejection]!!
Absolute refusal of all uninvited solicitations without first having adhered to correct social formalities!
Faced with instincts hardened through years of declining the ungracefulness of lesser nobility at our soirées, I turned as I would should a mere baroness seek to catch me unawares–before inconspicuously sending her toppling, publicly maintaining deniability while also leaving no doubt as to what I'd done!
But for the Snow Dancer, it wasn't the smooth marble floor of the Royal Villa which met her tumbling fall.
Instead–the sword saint flew uncontrollably forwards, crashing violently face first into a very large and very hard pillar.
As she met the ancient stonework to an eruption of snow, dust and rubble, a crack worthy of a wince sounded throughout the chamber.
Then came the swords waltzing in her wake.
They smashed into and through the pillar. A groan of broken masonry sounded as the elven-woman shaped indent in the pillar fully shattered and broke. Chunks of rubble collapsed atop the prone sword saint, burying her in a mound worthy of a tombstone.
A dollop of snow fell as the dust cleared. And after a long moment, all that could be spied within the mess of broken stone was a small bed of silver hair covered in a blanket of misery.
I peered, waiting for the movement.
The reprisal.
The obstinacy of an A-rank sword saint who escaped shattering hailstorms and blasts of wind as easily as a cat leaping from fence to fence.
Instead, all I received was a pitiful groan.
“...... Uuuuhhhhh …...”
I waited.
And then–
“Ohhohohohohohoho!”
I raised my hand to my lips.
Indeed, the soirée was a battleground of sabotage as nobility warred with a deftness of feet to put even the Snow Dancer to shame!
And I danced greater than them all!
“Aaahhahaahaahahhaahah!”
Off to the side, an extremely unhelpful clockwork doll stole my laughter.
At some point, she'd extracted herself from the snow and was now a white barrel, rolling to and fro as she occasionally slapped her palms down around her.
“Ahhahahahaha … ahahhahahah … ahhahaahhaahh ...”
I pursed my lips, considered waiting for her amusement to subside … then decided to continue laughing as well.
“Ohohohohohohoho!”
Why, if I intended to mock my fallen opponent regardless, then I may as well do so while my future handmaiden could join me in a derisive chorus!
“Behold, Coppelia! See how the inelegant fall to their own naïvety! The woman may be a sword saint, but in the end, she possessed the oafishness of countryside nobility! Against my fleet footwork, she had as much hope of victory as she did against the stars!”
“Ahahaha … I can … I can see that … ahahah … it was … it was … just as I expected … ahahahahha~”
I winced.
N-Naturally, her confidence in me was well placed!
Even so, I preferred that she endeavour to rush to my assistance whenever I was faced with mortal peril. Clearly, work was needed. While a handmaiden who knew not to take away from my limelight was a valuable asset, there was also ample opportunity to demonstrate unerring loyalty by wilfully throwing herself against foes.
But like all things, there was a queue to my time.
And so–to matters at hand.
“Come, Coppelia!” I said, turning from the bundle of silver hair as a fresh heap of snow landed on her groaning form. “Aquina's treasury awaits! Only a single door now seeks to stand between us and our rightfully owed taxes!”
Suddenly, Coppelia looked up from her freshly rolled bed of snow.
The smile she wore elevated upwards by several degrees. Her eyes glittered with the promise of revelry. And for me, that was more worrisome than any sword saint.
“Actually, I don't think the door's going to be a problem.”
I blinked.
Then, I turned fully around–only to witness the arched door to Aquina's vault parting, its great weight shovelling snow out of its path as easily as a dragon's tail.
Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
As it opened, a fluffy white duck waddled in through the gap.
A moment later, the vault fully revealed itself, and then I saw to whom its allegiance was sworn.
Because basking beneath streams of moonlight was the figure of someone I'd never seen before. A woman whose beautiful appearance elicited no recognition from me.
Still, I knew who she was without question.
After all, I was royalty.
And I could sense when another of my stature was present. Especially when she sat on a makeshift throne of snow and coins, possessed dazzling wings of mirror-like beauty, and wielded a fine crystal teacup in her hand.
The Winter Queen, it seems, had come to the Kingdom of Tirea.
​
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“Three years to build a mech with specs that only a year ago I would have called impossible within this century? Would you like any other miracles while I’m preying to every deity I know of?” – [CLASSIFIED] Head of [CLASSIFIED] development, after being presented with the project’s requirements.
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First, Previous, Next.
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‘Diagnostics complete. Error zero-zero, reactor output is nil. No other errors detected. Unit 0012 is unable to perform upcoming operation. I am sorry Sustain. You will be scratched from the roster.’
Anna ‘Sustain’ Finand started swearing, first in United Earth common, then English and lastly in Arabic. Fortunately for her career and general standing among her peers, her mech’s cockpit was still sealed tight, preventing the small army of engineers and maintenance personal swarming her mech from hearing.
She swore about the ridiculousness of a reactor design that could fail with no discernible reason at the drop of a hat. She cursed about the mountain of corners which had been piled up at the feet of the killing machine that refused to power on. Lastly, she just screamed as three years of built-up frustration poured out of her lanky body.
Sustain had been a mech pilot for far longer than she cared to admit, having began by piloting her Dad’s farming mech during planting season. She would start her shift in the mech-tractor after schooled finished, and work until midnight while her Dad slept. Then she would catch some much-needed rest, only to wake up early the next morning for school and do it all over again. She never resented her Dad for the strain the season would place on the two of them, but curiously she had always found herself angry at her mother; who had left when she was only five.
When she had signed up for the military, she had told the interviewing officer that she could pilot a mech in her sleep. She hadn’t been bragging. They’d thrown her into a simulator to see what she could do, and when she told her father that she’d barely passed the exam, she’d been lying. She hadn’t wanted him to worry about the possibility of her being hand picked for the special forces, which is exactly what had happened a few months later. Sustain remembered the fight between herself and her father after that, it had been legendary, and was still something they joked about to this very day.
Still, Sustain was as stubborn as her dad, and when her special forces service had paid for his space flight to and apartment on Earth he’d admitted that he was glad to have lost that fight. Thinking about her father, and Earth, only intensified the extreme frustration Sustain was currently experiencing.
The Algeen’s had pulled in as many species as they possibly could to fight off the Tide, but they hadn’t seen fit to give humanity the same offer. It was only five years ago that humanity had learnt about the existence of the Tide, as the inter-galactic wall that had been the Algeen republic, exhausted beyond all measures, crumbled away.
It still pissed her off to think about. Had the Algeen’s included humanity and it’s six hundred worlds at the start of the war, hell even halfway through it, they would have been able to fight with the numerical advantage. But instead, the Algeen’s had kept the Tide and their war from them a secret. No one knew why but Sustain could sure as hell guess: In the past Humanity and the Algeen’s had their fair share of conflicts.
No doubt the Algeen’s had wanted to present a facade of strength, out of fear that humanity would seek to capitalise on their weakened state.
Sustain could easily see humanity negotiating favourable terms for their aid, terms which may very well have seen them rise as the dominate power in the galactic region. Much like America in comparison to England after WWII. However, by seeking to prevent this from happening, the Algeen’s may have doomed humanity in the process.
Once they knew of their existence Humanity had tried to open diplomatic talks with the Tide and had been violently rebuked. With the Algeen’s crashing down before their very eyes humanity’s leadership had realised with horror that they now had to fight a considerably more powerful enemy, and only had five years to prepare for it.
Three years ago, that same leadership had finally convinced the Algeen’s to share their technology with their new allies of circumstance, and the flood gates had poured open. That’s when Sustain had gotten involved in the cluster fuck.
Humanity knew from their past that their technology was a few years behind that of the Algeen’s. However, they also knew that their tactics and general understanding of warfare was significantly greater. But now they had to compete with the Tide, who’s technology surpassed even that of the Algeen’s, and half measures weren’t going to cut it. Humanity had set out to build a brand new mech, one which could match the Tide machines (even if it wouldn’t beat them) by combining human and Algeen technology.
Sustain had signed on as a test pilot for the project, one of a thousand such pilots. Calling them the best of the best was considered an insult to many of the test pilots. While Sustain didn’t agree with such an arrogant attitude she wasn’t so humble as to be unable to admit the truth: They weren’t the best. Or the best of the best. They were one thousand out of a billion such pilots. They were Elite in the truest meaning of the word.
But none of that would mean anything if they didn’t have any machines to pilot.
Having taken a moment to calm herself, Sustain popped the seals on her cockpit, and opened the heavy door to the clammer of voices and machinery that was the drop hanger of the Swan. The Swan was a orbital insertion carrier, designed to launch its cargo onto a planet without succumbing to gravity or weapons fire alongside them. In just two short hours they would be deploying onto Algeen Prime, one battle which made up the many overseen by operation “Sucker Punch”.
For humanity to survive it needed to push the Tide back as quickly as possible while they were still dealing with the many losses, they had suffered during the Algeen war. For humanity to survive it needed to bloody the nose of those who dared to threaten the continued existence of mankind, and countless others. What better place to do that then where the most noses were located?
Algeen Prime and its surrounding systems were swarming with Tide ships and mechs, as their long conflicted was slowly ground to a pulp. Human intelligence suggested that the Tide in these locations would be running low on supplies, manpower and equipment. It was into this exhausted army that operation sucker punch would strike. It was up to Sustain and the Algeen-Human experimental mech program to be the tip of that spear. No pressure.
Sustain’s maintenance chief cut through both the volume of the hanger and her anxious recount of the events leading up to this situation.
“Sorry Captain, this one’s given up the ghost. I don’t know what is so cursed about this reactor design but when I find whoever made the mistake that causes this headache, I’ll throw the unlucky sod your way eh?”
Despite the situation the Chief’s gruff voice and jokes were enough to force the ghost of a smile onto Sustain’s face. The old, balding man reminded her of a friend of her fathers. The one who’d help occasionally with odd maintenance jobs around the house that her father was too busy to attend to. Only instead of repainting the living room he was fine tuning the most advanced fighting machine currently known to mankind. An odd idiosyncrasy to be sure, but like her the Chief was Elite.
“You’d deprive yourself of that satisfying revenge for me Tomlinson?” Sustain replied.
“Well better you go to prison then me, and I trust you to really twist the knife while you gut the fella.”
“Ah, fair.”
An awkward silence stretched between the two of them. A deep dark abyss that neither really wanted to descend into. Sustain took the plunge first.
“How many others like mine?”
Tomlinson’s eyes said all she needed to know. But he spoke anyway.
“About half of em. We’re hoping to get that down to a quarter but the timing ain’t looking so great. I hope you don’t mind me saying I’m glad yours isn’t showing any signs of life, if we got her started now we’d have to skip so many safety procedures to be ready in time that it ain’t funny… Well, it’d be a little funny. But only if you didn’t explode.”
Sustain grimaced. The constant issue with the experimental mechs was their power source. Everything else had been shaped up over the frantic past three years, but the reactors were a hurtle that seemingly couldn’t be overcome. Once they were running, they were fine. In fact, they were better than fine. Once running the reactors were a considerable improvement to their Algeen basis. It was getting them started that was the hard part.
Three years of Elite scientists and engineers working on the problem, and still it was a crapshoot as to whether the reactors would startup properly or destroy itself in doing so. This problem was exacerbated by the fact that the reactors were only designed to be run for a month before needing to be powered down for a maintenance once over.
Sustain’s mech had its maintenance once over a week ago. She would have preferred delaying the operation to ensure that all the one thousand Elite had operational machines, but replacing the reactor in the experimental mechs took weeks to do. Apparently command just didn’t have that kind of time.
Sustain spook to Tomlinson again.
“Alright, well good effort team. Looks like the training machine’s up.”
The training machines were highly customised but otherwise unmodified Algeen machines. With the experimental one’s being so finicky the Elite had needed reliable machines to hone their skills in. The trainers had never been intended to be taken into battle, however the situation left little room for anything else. They were capable machines, and the Elite pilots were very familiar with them. Tomlinson helped her down with an odd look on his face. After a moment Sustain realised: it was a potent mix of apprehension and guilt.
“I-I” The usually steadfast chief choked on his words. Pausing to take a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry it had to be this way ma’am. I didn’t want to let you down.”
Sustain was surprised by the words, but a cocky smile soon found it’s way to her face.
“Don’t worry Chief, I like a challenge. I thought you would have known that about me by now.” She said with a wink.
That same smile danced on her face once more, as two hours and one Tide mech later she was on the battlefield in her trainer mech. The taste of victory like Ambrose in her mouth. The ranged heavy Tide mech was fighting its salvo at her, but rather then attempted to doge the incoming missile or deploy her energy shield, Sustain kept her mech perfectly still. Closing her eyes and increasing the rating on her neural lace; merging her mind closer and closer to the heart of the machine.
When she opened them again everything was slowed to a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second. She concentrated on the first missile, its trajectory appearing on her HUD, and lined up a trajectory of her own. The spikes the Algeen had noted on her mechs shoulders were indeed grenade launchers – not designed for offensive operation and most certainly not designed to be used as anti-missile fire. But Sustain had been training against the Elite for over three years now, most of them in this very machine, together they had all learnt more then a few tricks.
With the overclocking ability of her neural lace, (a development that neither the Algeen’s nor the Tide had access to), Sustain was able to launch the smoke canisters with unnerving accuracy directly into the path of the oncoming Tide fire. To Churk, who was watching the fight take place in real time, it appeared as though every canister had fired at the same moment. But to Sustain each and every canister had been individually targeted and fired.
The massive shockwave of so many missile denotating at once pounded into the surrounding area, causing the ground to shake, trees to shiver and Churk and his team to grab their helmets and take cover. One moment Sustain’s Algeen mech had been charging across the grassy field towards the Tide heavy, the next the entire field and some of the forest the Tide heavy was taking cover in was filled with smoke.
At first both Churk and the Tide pilot believed the smoke to be coming from the destroyed carcass of Sustain’s mech. Both were equally surprised then when with the quick flash of a blade the smoke, (and the Tide’s missile launcher,) were spilt in two.
The smoke in question was electro chemical in nature and caused odd pixelation and glitches to flare up in Sustain’s mechs sensors, as the scrambling effects of the smoke began to hit full force. Of course, Sustain’s mech was programmed with these effects in mind, and so was shielded from the worse of the interference. The same cannot be said for the Tide mech, who’s pilot now had to battle one insanely capable human and their own systems in order to survive. It was a battle that the mech pilot would not be able to win, however that doesn’t mean they were going to go down without a fight.
The Tide mech swung the ruined launcher at Sustain’s mech, and she used her left shoulder to block the blow, causing the frame of her machine to shake with the force of the heavy blow. In return she struck with her sword, finding the elbow joint on the Tide machine’s left arm, and slicing for everything her mech was worth. Her sword ran up the length of the Tide mech’s arm, under the heavy armour, and into the shoulder joint, whereupon (with a flick of her wrist) Sustain was able to deprive the Tide mech of its entire arm.
The Tide mech swung again with the now very pulped launcher, Sustain ducked the blow and thrust forward with her blade, intending to skewer the Tide machine on her sword. She was partially successful in doing so, creating a large and jagged rent in the chest armour of her enemy. The enemy (who was not unskilled) twisted away, preventing Sustain from penetrating the top-quality armour and causing her mech to overbalance. Instead of stepping forward to overt her fall Sustain sent her mech’s anti-gravity pods into overdrive and activated her jump jets. The mech rolled forward smoothly, in a movement that would have shredded a machine of its size and weight if not for the advanced technology of the pods.
As Sustain rolled free from her opponent’s follow up strike (an overhead blow that would have caught her on the back of her machine) smashed into empty air and then dirt. Not letting the sudden evasion get the better of them however, the Tide pilot dropped the useless and crushed launcher remains and pulled their mech’s coil gun from its thigh holster. The coil gun looked like a pistol in the mechs hand, but was powerful enough at this range to punch directly through the chest of Sustain’s mech.
The Tide pilot never got the chance to fire it.
Sustain bounced back from her roll with a speed that, even with the gravity pods maxed out, sent creaks throughout her entire machine. Her jump jets were still firing, and she leapt towards the Tide mech as it pulled its coil gun from its holster. Facing a weapon, she could not deflect with smoke grenades or armour, her only defence was speed and accuracy.
Like a shark about to earn a round of drinks by throwing their last dart, Sustain hit the bullseye at the last possible second. The Tide machine’s armour, already comprised by her previous pass, finally failed as the full weight of Sustain’s mech was forcefully shoved against it. The force concentrated through the point of her brutally simple sword and sliced deep into vulnerable inners of the machine to hit the only thing that truly mattered onboard a mech: The pilot.
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I have not seen much discussion about Forge Anew yet, but I think its really neat as a signpost for cubes with Equipment archetypes and it seems to me like exactly what they want in cube. I think they got a lot of help with [[Sigarda's Aid]], but this seems great for a ton of different equipment, even at varying power levels of cube, as the reanimate, instant equip, and 0 equip are all only as strong as your best equipment. 1. The equipment reanimate pack is something I'm not sure I've really seen before. Its also the sort of white color pie development I like to see. It can either just provide value with whatever you have in the bin or allows combo with quick discard of stuff like [[Batterskull]] or [[Kaldra Compleat]] to just reanimate on t3. Definitely nicely cocomplementary to the more optimal t2 [[Stoneforge Mystic]] to fetch Batterskull or Kaldra and play from hand on t3 in higher power levels. More of a corner case: while Reconfigure doesn't play nice with the rest of the abilities on Forge Anew, the reanimate does let you hit an Artifact Creature - Equipment in your yard, which is nice as more targets similiar to Living Weapon targets. Doesn't mean much since all the ones you usually care about are 3 mana or less, but still there and maybe relevant for lower power cubes. 2. I absolutely love the idea of instant speed equip abilities. This works really well in combat oriented decks since all you need is more than one creature, especially with some of the equipment you can have and it just makes combat for Equipment archetypes so more more interesting. Being able to re-equip a Kaldra at instant speed does some disgusting things for combat math. As long as I understand this correctly, First Strike at instant speed means you can have Kaldra assign combat damage in the first combat damage step with the Trample and exile ability in effect, then re-equip Kaldra to give another creature +5/+5, Trample, and the exile ability, and since they did not have First Strike during the first combat damage step, they assign damage in the second combat damage instead, even though they now have First Strike. Obviously, I'm sure others could see how this could be great with certain creatures and Equipment. Being able to re-equip [[Skullclamp]] to an optimal attacker helps guarantee draw and pressure or even sac all the small blockers that would die anyway. Swords of X and Y make it so you can have a creature be unblocked and then re-equip to another creature to protect them from damage from the relevant color source. Jitte can be combined with First Strike to get double the counters or to even give different creatures +2/+2 or even make sure that Jitte does damage to get counters by switching it after OP blocks, then sacs their creature. [[Lightning Greaves]] at instant speed means that you can essentially prevent your OP from ever targeting any of your creatures on your turn. There's also the good old re-equip to optimize combat math and save more creatures while killing your OP's creatures. It just opens a lot of options for making combat way more engaging for Equipment decks. Even purely the threat of being able to switch around Equipment at instant speed can change the way your OP will block and usually allows for you to be much more aggressive. Lastly, if your OP does anything on your end step to affect your creatures, you have the capability to re-equip at instant speed in response, either to try and save them or benefit from their death. 3. Having the ability to equip an Equipment for 0 once on your turn is obviously a huge part of the Equipment strategy. Reanimating a Kaldra and then equipping a [[Colossus Hammer]] is the dream play in higher power magic, but even just being able to not have to pay for equipping a [[Swords of Fire and Ice]] or something with colored mana for equipping, like [[Embercleave]] or [[Maul of the Skyclave]] is extremely useful for a combat oriented archetype, and is especially nice with the second ability of this card. Its also great that it fills a place that mostly only [[Puresteel Paladin]] has filled so far, while being a little more annoying to remove. And even if it does get removed, flickering it or returning it to hand and casting it again still gets you the benefit of reanimating another Equipment. All in all, I really like this design space for the white color pie and I hope it gets explored more in the future. What are your thoughts on this card?

Since this is my first cosplay ever, I'm not sure what to buy or where to buy it.
The only thing I know is that I will probably buy the cosplay from miccostumes because I've read a lot of good things about it.
However, I'm unsure about everything else: the wig, the sword, shoes, a blackbox, and the blindfold.
Every wig I found online didn't have many great reviews. The one from miccostumes seems to have a weird shape that fits 2B more than 9S.
But I will admit that I have no clue how you're supposed to style a wig. So maybe it's the case that there aren't any good 9S wigs out there, and I will have to buy a white wig with a similiar look and style/cut it myself.
I havent looked that much into swords but I assume that most swords you can find online are fine but maybe someone can recommend me a specific one (which is not too expensive X)
The same goes for a pair of shoes. I'm not really sure where I can find good ones.
And when it comes to the blindfold or the blackbox I also have no idea whatoever. (the blindfold which comes with the miccostumes cosplay seems to be pretty bad)
It would be awesome if anyone has good recommendations when it comes to above mentioned parts.
Thanks :)

I am a good coder, and into coding video games. While being a big time tau player, and I was thinking about coding a video game around the Tau empire. Any ideas what it should be based around including what type of game would best suit(get it) the tau, all advice is welcomed.

Edit: I've added a new link to the form that should work :D
(Hi, I'm Ben! I'm posting this for my friend and DM, K (she/they) and I'll be helping a bit in the process of finding players)
Welcome to Fold The Deck! It's a campaign in a homebrewed world that I began to design...somewhat recently? But due to my hyperfixation, I already have a ton of it done (most of it, really). In this world, you'll be playing as somebody of high social standing, someone that has to weave their way through the delicate nature of high society while also keeping your allies close and your enemies closer. In addition to this, there's a sinister plot going on in the background that you, and your newly found companions, just might have to stop in order to save your own skin.
We have two players currently! Each player is using one of the archetypes from Good Society as the launch point of their character; so far, the Heir and the Cornerstone have both been picked! Other than that, any of the archetypes are available as a starting point (again, that is as I'm writing up this message, so keep 1-3 in mind that you might want to play as! Your options, just in case you're unaware, include the following; The Socialite, The Dowager, The Dependant, The New Arrival, The first code word is Gambit, The Meddler, The Hedonist, The Tutor, and The Careerist).
The whole base concept of this is similar to the base concept for Dimension 20's 'A Crown of Candy', though I can promise that this will be nowhere near that brutal (at least, in terms of combat)! Except instead of Candy Land, this world (or at least, the society you're all playing in) is based on playing cards; more specifically, the game War (in which Aces are the most powerful (those are the gods of this realm), and 2s are the least powerful (the poorest of commoners)). So the social hierarchy is Aces (again, the gods of this realm; deity is the second code word), then the royal families (Kings, Queens, Jacks, and 10s), the nobility (9s, 8s, and 7s), the middle class (6s and 5s), and then the lower class (4s, 3s, and 2s). Your character will end up being a 6 at the very lowest!
The campaign will be beginning on the day before the most important event of the year, for commonfolk and royalty alike; The Festival, which is a one-month-long huge holiday event that happens during the exact middle of the year! I plan to have the campaign run through two separate festivals, so for at least a year and a month. And years last for 15 months in this world, so for at least 16 in-game months! Though we can certainly do more if the party wants to! I've had a lot of fun developing this world so far, and I can definitely find ways to expand upon the plot!
The day will be alternating Saturdays, and time is not decided yet. The time zone is EST but as long as you can make it to session your time zone doesn't matter. The reason for the rating is due to mature themes; also, myself and the current players are all adults, and we have an adult sense of humor. Also, there are themes that I don't feel comfortable exploring with minors, so if you're not 18 or older, please don't apply! Also, please don't apply if you're over 30; this is just a personal preference, I don't want to play with people that are more than a decade older than me, you know? Oh! Also! The final code phrase is 'The Horror, The Cat, and The Crow'. Thank you so much for reading my little posting! Oh, and here's the link to the Google application form! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe_UNjzhVxuHGqiUilztlK18Xf5_gC7qlBPbcMhV8YSgDgXPQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
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(If the long link doesn't work try this one)
https://forms.gle/pwDyyiH2hbQMe3AFA