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2019.01.02 17:37 onemananswerfactory Car Dealers Near Me
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2023.06.03 16:53 ASTRNAUT_Watney Nickel wound vs other string materials
Hi all! - I’ve got with me two Solar guitars from the same factory with the same hardware. They’re awesome - However, one is strung up with standard Ernie Ball Slinkies (Nickel Wound) - The other has Ernie Ball Cobalts - Even though the guitars have the same neck relief and near identical Evertune action heights, I greatly prefer the one with Nickel strings - Not only are the strings undeniably smoother to pick and fret, but they seem a lot more resonant acoustically which really surprises me. It’s like night and day and it sings - While I have a lot of respect for the Cobalts and their higher output etc… I feel like it’s not worth the trade off in feel and resonance because you can just tighten and louden your tone as much as you like these days with plugins, Precision Drives and all sorts - Does anyone else feel that you just can’t beat nickel strings? I feel like I’ve unearthed the unspoken reason why massive guitarists like John Petrucci and Kirk Hammett stay with nickel wound slinkies after all these years even with all these fancy new materials available. John has tested them all and still uses nickels, as proven by the EB website and Thomann’s setup video with John’s guitar tech - The only guitarist I know of who actually uses Cobalts is Marc Okubo from Veil of Maya. Other than that, it’s either regular nickel EBs or regular nickel Daddarios. Maybe rare cases of DRs like with Meshuggah and Amorphis but nickel all the same
submitted by ASTRNAUT_Watney
to 7String [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:53 spectacular588 Data hoarding out of fear
Sorry if the title is a bit awkward. Couldn't think of how to phrase it.
One of the struggles I've faced due to OCD is digital hoarding. From other people's experiences I have heard that it's usually because they are afraid of forgetting. For me, it's because I keep worrying about my family dying.
Some days I'll be paralyzed by near-constant intrusive thoughts about family members dying horrifically. Because of that I have been hoarding texts since I was at least 14. I keep thinking that I need to keep them, that if something happens then I'll be a bad person for letting go of them.
It feels unhealthy. Text threads with tens of thousands of messages and I don't even look at them. I guess it's just nice to know they're there? But it also stresses me out because I really really want to declutter my phone lol.
submitted by spectacular588
to OCD [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:52 Ordinary-Ebb-1419 Letting go of resentment 27M
I've been bottling up my feelings about my mother for as long as I can remember, but today I’ll try to let some of it go.
Growing up with a single mother and an older sister, my early years were pretty great. Despite my mom barely graduating high school, she always provided for us, and our involvement in the Jehovah's Witnesses congregation provided additional support.
Everything changed after a trip to California.
When we got back, my mom spiraled into heavy drinking, which had been an ongoing struggle for her since before I was born. She had gone through things before I was born that I don’t think she ever had the chance to deal with in a healthy way.
My older sister eventually moved away, leaving me alone with my mom. We stopped going to the congregation, and my mom lost her job.
For nearly two years, we hopped between different houses, with me sharing a room with her. I vividly recall trying to be a carefree child, playing video games, while she drank in front of me. I always believed it was my fault and that I had to be a better son.
Though we eventually found a new place, her drinking got worse, resulting in multiple hospital visits. I even had to drive her to the hospital myself when I was in 7th grade. That memory will forever be etched in my mind.
Eventually not long after I confronted her about her actions and, for two months, ignored her while we still lived together. At that point I was already cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry because I couldn’t count on her to do it for me all the time. We eventually got back on good terms when she finally quit drinking, but the love I once had for her was never quite the same.
In 2016, she suffered a major stroke from the years of alcohol abuse and poor health choices, leaving her disabled for the rest of her life. Today, she's just a shadow of her former self.
Now, I see my mother as a flawed human being who was doing her best, but I can't deny the resentment that lingers within me from those years of hell and the negative patterns I acquired during that time.
Even now, when I talk to her on the phone and hear her slurred voice due to the stroke, it takes me back to all those moments when she was drunk, and I wondered if she would be okay and when it would all end. I'm doing my best to let go of this resentment. It's not easy, but I believe that by acknowledging my feelings and sharing my story, I'm taking a step toward healing.
If anyone else has been through a similar experience or has any advice, I would appreciate your thoughts.
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to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:50 lanaaxox pregnancy scare and im freaking out
me and my bf had sex yesterday and i was bent facing away from him and he came on my ass but i cant tell if it dripped down to my vaginal opening and i went to go check but i cant tell if it was my cum or his and i got up immediately and put my clothes back on and went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up to get it all off but idk if it got in and idk if me putting my clothes on moved it near there and im freaking out about it and idk what to do i cant get pregnant i am so fucking terrified of pregnancy and i wouldn't be able to get it aborted and id seriously kill myself if i was i hate the whole idea of it and im not mentally stable enough to have a kid im not even stable enough to take care of myself let alone a child and i dont know what to do i already have major body image issues and pregnancy would make it so much worse and im just not in that point of my life right now where a having a child would be fit and i dont know what to do
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to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:49 3than24 missing out
I’m feeling a bit of FOMO recently. I’ve seen posts about ConQuest that’s happening near me. However, because I had a cold and exams week’s coming up (not to mention volleyball training, damn responsibilities keep piling up), I can’t meet my favorite oshi irl.
Also, Midjourney v5.1 is being discussed all around. I’ve seen images that come from this AI. THEY’RE SO f***ING INCREDIBLE! Like man, I gotta try it out! But my broke ass just said, you need a subscription to do that. I have so many ideas floating in my head, but all I get is a paywall and 25 free generations (which of course I’ve run out of).
I’m so done with all of this. I wish I could fulfill them both, maybe I’ll be happier when they happen to me. Man, why is everything so hard? I hardly ever write rants without ever saying “I wish I could kill myself” in the end. Even if I don’t, I wish I could do it in silence. But still here I am, writing another vent post no one would care.
submitted by 3than24
to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:49 ASTRNAUT_Watney [QUESTION] Nickel wound vs other string materials
Hi all! - I’ve got with me two Solar guitars from the same factory with the same hardware. They’re awesome - However, one is strung up with standard Ernie Ball Slinkies (Nickel Wound) - The other has Ernie Ball Cobalts - Even though the guitars have the same neck relief and near identical Evertune action heights, I greatly prefer the one with Nickel strings - Not only are the strings undeniably smoother to pick and fret, but they seem a lot more resonant acoustically which really surprises me. It’s like night and day and it sings - While I have a lot of respect for the Cobalts and their higher output etc… I think it’s not worth the trade off in feel and resonance because you can just tighten and louden your tone as much as you like these days with plugins, Precision Drives and all sorts - Does anyone else feel that you just can’t beat nickel strings? It’s like I’ve unearthed the unspoken reason why massive guitarists like John Petrucci and Kirk Hammett stay with nickel wound slinkies after all these years even with all these fancy new materials available. John has tested them all and still uses nickels, as proven by the EB website and Thomann’s setup video with John’s guitar tech - The only guitarist I know of who actually uses Cobalts is Marc Okubo from Veil of Maya. Other than that, it’s either regular nickel EBs or regular nickel Daddarios. Maybe rare cases of DRs like with Meshuggah and Amorphis but nickel all the same
submitted by ASTRNAUT_Watney
to Guitar [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:49 vfxslaver VFX - a little rant
I have had enough.
Ridiculous, I know, 27 should be somewhere near the beginning and I am very ready for my time in VFX to end. The more time goes on you realize you are either a slave driver or a slave being driven in this industry. And for what? So we can release another half baked marvel show? So we can remake a disney film in live action that looks worse, feels worse and is far less enjoyable than the animated original? Someone tell me, because as far as I have been feeling the film industry is in its death throes. Each time we release another half finished movie/show that wasn’t given the time or love the artists could give it, I can hear the agonal breathing through the screen. And hell now we don’t even have to pay western rates, we can outsource it all to india! CHEAP, FAST, and above all without the conditions we are forced to give western artists. If you think the love and labor they put out is any less, you could not be more mistaken, but take the hellish overtime you find commonly in VFX in all places and crank it up to 11.
And is this right? How can this be right? We always want the latest season of our favourite show sooner than it can air but at what cost? The fact that major VFX companies have to put anti slavery statements on their websites says it all really.
When I worked in production in VFX I was the slave driver for all the artists under me, regardless of where they were based. You are the enemy of everyone, the client wants it faster and the artists need more time to finish the work. So you’re in a game of tug of war. But hell who the fuck is going to tell the clients they are wrong? How can you object to anything they say or do when they can always take the work away? When a bid brief is entirely turned on its head, and the client has already agreed to pay one amount, but they’ve entirely changed the work needed for the brief. Who’s going to tell them? The answer is no one, and this can often be caused by their complete lack of understanding of VFX. Or on the other hand they just aren’t willing to pay for what the work is worth. If you refuse to pay for a product’s worth in any other industry, you do not receive the product. Why is it then that big studios think they can throw this whole concept out in VFX? Because someone else can do it, because you are considered replaceable, not as a person even, but as a whole studio. If you aren’t willing to create ant-man 6 on a shoestring budget, someone else will. They prey on an employee’s love for the franchise and a studio’s need to find work.
Moving into tech and away from prod, it becomes apparent that you are now a slave to be driven. Chronic overtime? Check. Passive aggression from stressed out overworked production teams? Check. Every single piece of work appended with - URGENT, NEEDED RIGHT NOW - CHECKMATE.
When you work in an industry that screams fire every time there’s a new ticket, or download, or turnover you start to see that none of it is urgent. No one is coding, no one needs to stress out this much over a tv show or film. And honestly at this point I don’t fucking care how the show ends, because I’ve quit watching.
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to vfx [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:47 throwaway-quitter-AB Advice on quitting a job held for 9 yrs (AB)
Throwaway as my other account may be a tip off.
I work in the oil and gas industry in welding inspection. I moved to AB for work but am originally from out of province. I recently moved back to my home province and have been commuting back and forth to AB for work. It is a construction based job so I will take on a project, usually 2-6 months long, and then work roughly 2 or 3 weeks on with 1 week off.
It has been taxing for me to do all of this commuting. On top of this the company has come under new ownership recently and they have reduced certain parts of our compensation. The general manager has also become quite toxic. I am a by the hour employee.
I am nearing the end of a project where I intend to submit a written resignation. This will leave them with about 8-14 days notice before another project they have me scheduled for.
I fully expect my managers and supervisors to become extremely toxic once I resign and thats why I want to do it this way. They will have to scramble a bit to fill my role but I am not critical to the company. There are around 8 other employees that all do the same task as me. I am also worried about getting screwed around on my last pay. Ideally I would give them notice now but I have a few weeks left on the project I am currently on and if I resign now these last few weeks would suck.
Its so toxic the reason I am writing this is i wouldn’t be surprised if they came after me for damages if they cant fill my role before the next project starts. Im not sure what the possibilities are here and im not experienced with legal issues.
I have never quit in this fashion before and am looking for advice people are willing to offer
Thank you very much in advance
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to legaladvicecanada [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:47 MrW_7286 What do you think is their relation?
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I have two headcanons about their relation maybe three so behold my magnificent brain process. submitted by MrW_7286 to lookismcomic [link] [comments]
1 - James was just some random kid that Charles took in at a young age and turned him into absolute best with harsh training i would say
But this one only explain his Fighting poweress cuz You can train to be stronger but you can't train to be talented.
Therefore James is not some randome kid.
2 - James is Charles bastard son that he 'accidentally' had with some woman before Crystal.
Now hear me out why i am using the word bastard son instead of just son cuz they seem pretty close.
So go understand me you need to go back to the chapter where Daniel went to James's old school and he found Charles and his family's old photo.
But notice Charles was with his wife and Crystal was in the picture and they had a small house and it was a nice happy picture for Charles.
We even see how mad he was when Daniel took that picture which Means Charles does care about his family.
Well not family actually.
Just his wife.
We have seen he doesn't give a shit about Crystal maybe he changed after his wife's death and became absuive and neglectant towards Crystal.
Now James part,
I believe that like other gangsters during pre gen, Charles being the bad boy also slept around a lot and ended up getting some woman other than his wife pregnant with James.
But his wife was probably not supportive or He just never told her about James and kept him hidden cuz He probably didn't wanted to lose his wife i guess.
Also i think James mother probably died too and Charles HAD to take him in and when growing up James showed talent even more impressive than Charles himself and Charles ended up deciding to raise him to be his Gemstone.
And mind you Charles is known as Elite, Elite means a certain group of people who are better and more competent than others which alone means he is one of most talented people in verse and James proved to be even more talented than him.
3 - James is Charles's failed clone
For this theory we have just some evidence that probably wouldn't even count as one but lemme cook.
I believe that the heart problem Charles have had been with him since a young age yet it didn't stopped him from achieving anything but that was before he met Gapryoung kim.
After he lost to Gapryong kim (A man who's no way near as talented as him yet beated him and mind you Charles is insanely egoistic) so after losing to Gapryong, Charles did initially respected him for his guts yet wanted to be the boss around.
So he decided to fix his medical condition and ended up with Jinyoung who wanted to help him at despite thier odds cuz he was a good man and two of them ended up coming across the secret of second body.
Charles found a way to get his health fixed but Jinyoung wasn't completely sure if he should help Charles gain a perfect body or not yet he helped Charles.
The process happened and Charles got a second body but it was a failed second body who had its own consciousness.
Not exactly a new soul but just Charles as a kid in a new body that Charles raised with name of James lee
We even know that James was supposed to live with his dad and that dad is probably James from the chapter where Daniel went to his old school.
Btw Jinyoung made another second body as a safety measure against Charles and it was a perfect experiment but Jinyoung couldn't use it himself.
And that perfect body ended up being with Daniel instead of Jinyoung.
And James is Charles's biological clone and Big Daniel is Jinyoung's biological clone if you ask.
Now i rest my headcanons, Which one makes more sense to you?
2023.06.03 16:46 EpicSaberCat7771 I'd like to get into babysitting but I don't know where to start.
I (17f) would like to get into babysitting, but online resources are failing me. all babysitter websites require you to be 18 years or older to apply. I'd like babysitting to be a summer job for me, as well as my first "real" job. I haven't worked anywhere else before, save for a few dog sitting jobs I did where I established my own rates, but I only got two customers over a year's time. when I did dog sitting/walking, I made business cards and passed them out to every house in my neighborhood. At the time I was 14, so I limited my clients to those within walking distance of me.
now I am 17, have my driver's license and my own car, and am actively searching for a job so I can start saving up for college ideally. I know that teens usually get paid less for babysitting, but "less" is still generally more than what a lot of "first job" positions near me pay. I'm thinking a minimum of $15 an hour for one kid, and tack on another $5 for each additional child. I am CPR and first aid certified for both adults and kids, so I'm hoping that will give me a boost in qualifications. I can also prepare basic meals (eggs, box Mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, etc) and can learn to prepare things with the children's dietary requirements, and my hours are pretty flexible. my issue is that I don't know where I should start looking for clients. should I post an ad on Facebook for my area? and how would I even go about doing that? as I mentioned previously, the websites that operate in my area don't allow you to apply as a babysitter until you are 18 (I understand why, it's probably an insurance thing). also, I don't know if it's better to put out an ad for myself, or look for someone who posted an ad asking for a babysitter, or both. I could do the business card thing again, but that seems difficult to distribute effectively. I figure, with the internet, people who need a sitter will search for one online, meaning that by posting an ad I can avoid the issue that I would have with business cards, where I might give one to someone who isn't in need of my services.
any advice, especially regarding my rates and where I should start looking for a client, would be appreciated greatly. also, "my area" refers to, generally, the Richmond, VA area and surrounding counties, in case anyone knows of resources that operate in that area that I could use.
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2023.06.03 16:45 truci Dupe makes the game better
Full time job and family. 2 hours a day playtime max.
I love the dupe. It allows me to select the parts I want whenever I want and auto build. See something far away?. Hold 3 fans, control stick, glider, rocket and battery. Push those 2 magic buttons and bam. I can autobuild my flyer.
I feel like there should be an option for time constraint gamers. The no grind option.
Where armor upgrades are free(only need 1 of each item to upgrade not many) and you have unlimited zonai devices. Because that’s what I dupe for. If I didn’t have that I would not be enjoying the game nearly as much. Zonai freedom dupe for me!!
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to tearsofthekingdom [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:45 Novel-Secretary3388 She ended things and now she’s mad at me for assuming I’m back with the girl I was with before her
The girl I was seeing ended things abruptly after talking forever a few days before hand. She was coming off her meds so was extremely angry at the time. I was completely blindsided
I still had some stuff stored at her house and after nearly 2 months of no contact I get a message asking for me to come get it and I’ve got a week.
When I asked why she was being so cold she said it’s because I had run straight back to my previous ex (she assumed from a profile picture I had added with 5% of that exes face in it)
Big question is why does she care? Does she still have feelings for me or does she just not want me to be with anyone else ?
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to dating [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:45 LetsGetReal_mx Help me get this girl
Help, I don’t know how to proceed with this lady
For context, I am a 23 male whom met this lady in New Year’s Eve, at the time she had beautiful dreadlocks and red lips which blew my mind, I knew I had to get close so I talked to her and it went good, as the night passed by we were at the dance floor and after some dance moves I decided to go for the kiss, she rejected and proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend. I was a little bummed out but I still managed to get her instagram. I was on vacation so I had to leave 2 days later but I thought “whatever, never seeing this lady again”. Time went by and since I have a house around that area I returned and posted an instagram story. She responded to me “hey, you should come by!, im single now”. I was thankful for that message since I really thought she was cute and texted her back that someday we should get together. That same day some hours later I was swimming in my pool and saw a siluetee of a girl that looked similar to her. I approached her and it turned out to be her. We vibed for some time and we had a great time. The day after she came by for some afternoon drinks and met my brother and her girlfriend. She lived near so she came by the next day and the day after. When she came around for the third time I knew I had to do something or I’d lose her (when I like a girl I tend to be somewhat shy). I went for the kiss and it was amazing, we bonded and had some good times together sometimes after, my family got to know her and she became my “summer love”. We had sx once in my 6 or 7 day trip (we did do other stuff going on before the day we had sx). I had to leave but we promised we would stay in contact and we did. It wasn’t the best contact but we would keep ourselves informed of what happened in each others lives for about 2 or 3 months. Now, I decided to come back and visit because I really do care for this girl and I’m staying about 20 days here. I saw her yesterday a little late at night so she couldn’t stay a long time tho we kissed. Today, I saw her and she looked beautiful. She came by to eat and stayed to take a nap, I was somewhat h*rny but decided not try to do a lot of moves since she is somewhat conservative and I didn’t want to appear as desperate. We played some games for a while with my brother and she took off to dinner with her family (zoom call, her parents are not here). While she was at dinner I got high on mushrooms with my brother and his invites. We decided to go out and I invited this lady to come with us. She came and pretty much I tripped out the first hour since the place was really crowded. I told her and she seemed to have taken it alright. We danced a lot and had a good time. I have to confess that before that I asked her to stay the night and she said no. I was sure that after my moves, our shared kisses and our history I would’ve been able to convince her to stay the night but as it turns out she will not and I am bummed out. I am positive I did not say anything to upset her (I really did think everything I said and could not find an answer as to why she might’ve gotten mad). I then proceded to take her home when she asked me and I later left her a goodnight message. Should I just give her some time and see how it goes or should I ask were her heads at since I am crazy about this girl. Help please :(
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2023.06.03 16:44 TinyTurtleOne Everything is going to shit
Been diagnosed with CPTSD a few weeks ago and in that time whilst I've still been in hospital, my controlling mysogynistic stepdad (recently split from my mum) has asked me to move back in with him and started hounding my mum for information about me. Meanwhile my abusive biological father died after only three years in prison and denied everything until the very end. My flatmate is moving back home because she'd been on her own over 5 weeks and it wasn't what she wanted so now I'm homeless. I tried to kill myself last night with a razor blade i snuck in but went into shock after the cut only got 1/4 of the way deep enough and nearly vomited, my legs gave out etc. so I just got medicated and patched up off the back of that. Thought I had an epiphany then, and I could get my life back together while I was sobbing and just didn't want to hurt anymore. So tried to call a close friend, who then cut me out of his life because he says he's tried for years and has too much self respect to continue to deal my with my pain. I'm now completely apathetic to everything and pissed at myself because I don't even have the guts to kill myself properly apparently. Genuinely figured everyone would be better off without me and I could finally stop hurting the people I love even though I don't mean to. I am what my father made me, because like him, I can't even kill myself before I fuck everything up. I'm never having children because at least by isolating myself, I can protect both myself and the few people left that I love
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to CPTSD [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:44 rmumford Toddler nearly drowns in Cultus Lake, GoFundMe launched for family
submitted by rmumford to vancouver [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:43 Shut_the_fuck_up_d Fingerprint check by police
A policeman stopped me and my friend near ikea(Hyderabad) and asked to scan our fingerprint to check our previous crime record. Now my question is do they store our biometric in database.
submitted by Shut_the_fuck_up_d
to hyderabad [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:43 LlamaLlamaTwo Stockholm Syndrome - Unemployment (Season Five Review)
Stockholm Syndrome (Football Manager 2022) Reymersholms IK - Division 2 Södra Svealand - Sweden …Unemployment…
Welcome back any and all returning readers as I attempt to recap the season just gone in our Scandinavian journeyman. I’d like to wish a warm welcome to any newcomers to the write-ups as we still find ourselves in Sweden, the land of meatballs and lovely landscapes. I found myself in need of a long desired vacation following the decision to leave Bergnäsets in the previous post. Following some time away (about a month in game) vacationing with the missus in the lovely city of Stockholm, I returned refreshed and rejuvenated to jump back into management. I knew that heading into the new year there wouldn’t be many first team managerial posts left following the usual coaching carousel that goes on in early December. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I didn’t see the lack of available jobs as an issue as we looked to follow up on a tumultuous relegation in the season prior.
At this point in the save I view myself as a project building manager. One that grows with a team over a period of multiple seasons in hopes of achieving sustained success. I also want to find my way out of the rigors of lower league management at some point in the hopes of quitting my day job. To do this we’ll need to rebuild our managerial reputation post relegation, as you’re unfortunately only remembered for the way your last job ended. With these points in mind, I was immediately drawn to a job opening in smack dab center of Stockholm of all places. …Employment…
Was the coincidentally timed vacation taken to Stockholm all a ploy to conjure up interest in our managerial services? I will neither confirm nor deny any and all questions related to the matter. Regardless, welcome to Reymersholms! Freshly promoted out of the fifth tier, Reymersholms are located in the heart of Stockholm with ambitions to not only stay up, but push for additional promotions in the seasons to come. This job seemed too good to pass up as it will hopefully prove to be mutually beneficial for both the club and myself as we look to leave a lasting legacy. Board expectations for the upcoming season are to only remain the Södra Svealand, but I think we have the potential to take the club a step further and look to push for promotion. With all current members of the squad on non-contracts we have full reign to completely reforge this side into one capable of challenging in the league. …Squad Building…
I wanted to build upon the system that we played in our four years at Bergnäsets. My goal here at Reymersholms would be to build upon a style of play that in the short term would keep us in the division. However, with greater aspirations than divisional stability our playstyle needs to be principally malleable as we look to add in player depth and quality. Our principles at Bergnäsets AIK were established with an underdog mentality heading into a majority of league fixtures. I want to abolish any sense of that mentality here as we will look to impose our game on the opposition. I would however like to carry over the hard working pressing mentality and higher defensive line as well. I think this shift in mentality will serve us well as the rest of the clubs in the Södra Svealand don’t seem to be filled with a large amount of quality. Hopefully that won’t come back to bite me. I’ll look to go over each individual position group role by role with the squad as we head into the first game of the season. Let’s start at the back and work our way forward as I’ll start between the sticks. Sweeper Keeper
- I was less than impressed with our options in goal upon joining the club in early January. Despite keeping an eye out for an experienced keeper capable of commanding the area, I was unable to settle on a potential signing between the sticks. Gustav Lindström will get the starting nod in goal for the first half of the season before I look to reevaluate the position in the summer window. Full Backs
- Recently signed Max Petersson and Elise Wetshikoy were brought in to start and provide depth in wide areas respectfully. I have high expectations for Petersson particularly as he offers incredible athletic ability having come out of the IFK Norrköping academy. Felix Rierstam will man the right side of our defense as he appears to be nothing flashy, but very reliable if his preseason performances are to be believed. Central Defenders
- Right off the bat I was able to identify Hugo Anderberg as one of our most talented players in the squad. Well rounded across the board in terms of technical, mental and physical attributes he immediately became one of the first names on the team sheet in the right side of central defense. Finding a left sided partner for Anderberg proved to be a less straightforward endeavor. I settled on a platoon pairing of new signing Jonathan Petersson and loanee Wilgot Rydborg. I had my eye on an experienced left footed central defender, but his wages proved to be too much for the club. Definitely another area to keep an eye on and circle back around to come the summer window. Central Midfielders
- Prior to my arrival, six foot seven inch behemoth of a man Max Wahlman made ninety appearances in midfield throughout his first five seasons for the club. Safe to say I was pleased to see a competent player in central midfield upon my arrival. Despite possessing the attributes suited for a role higher up the pitch, I was confident in my ability to fit Wahlman into our newly developed system. Furthermore, I looked to supplement him in midfield with two additional signings. The first being the permanent transfer of Adam Fägerhag, a competent and reliable left footer capable of slotting right into our starting eleven. Filip Halilovic became the last player to join the club on deadline day following a season long loan agreement with his parent club, IK Sirius. I was quite pleased with the acquisition as Halilovic displayed exceptional creative attributes for the level. Given the need to control the center of the pitch with our desired style of play, I quickly envisioned our added squad depth coming in handy. Inverted Wingers
- Miraculously, I somehow stumbled upon Franjo Ivančić playing in the Swedish non-leagues prior to securing his signature. The miniature magician, standing at only five foot three inches, burst onto the scene in preseason despite often getting lost in the shadows cast by larger players. The young Croatian would slot in on the right side of our front three. Finding a player on the opposing side proved to be a difficult task. Ultimately, I decided to entrust the position to fellow newcomer Elliot Nilsson. The left sided player showed impressive athleticism paired with impressive jumping reach despite a slight frame. With any luck, a deep cross or two aimed toward the back post would find its way to him throughout the year. Advanced Forward
- Now this is where the fun begins. Without further ado, I would like to wish the warmest of welcome to our new number nine, Mattias Lennartsson. Brought in the lead the line, Lennartsson has absolutely no business playing at this level given his attributes. Upon learning of his existence, I signed him faster than the time it takes the babysitter’s boyfriend to disappear once the parents come home. I was over the moon with the possibility of Mattias (first name basis) being the tip of our attacking spear in the season to come. Giddy up! …Season Review… April 2025
- Unfortunately, our season didn’t kick off to the best of starts as we crept to a three- nil defeat to Värmbols in our first game in charge. Not the start I had envisioned, but Värmbols are tough opposition in this league nonetheless. Despite this, we were able to then rip off three wins on the bounce. Eight goals scored with zero conceded is a pretty good return for a newly promoted side if you ask me. May 2025
- Our run of good form continued into the second month of the league season. The next three games saw us score twelve while only chipping three at the back. Upon checking preseason predictions, our schedule to this point has been relatively weak in comparison to other teams at the top end of the division. But, as Sol Campbell once said, “you can only play what's in front of you,” as we look to push on and continue our free scoring ways. We proceed to lose any and all momentum following a draw and defeat in our next two matches. The defeat coming to the hands of top of the table Enskede IK in a game that saw multiple red cards issued to both sides. Fortunately, we still sit near the top of the league table as we tick over into the month of June. June
- Our free flowing attack kicked back into high gear in a topsy-turvy game against upstart United IK that ended in a four-three victory. We proceeded to finish out the month taking a reasonable seven points out of the next available nine. I began to have serious concerns over the state of our defensive structure though as we conceded seven over the course of the month. An ill timed hamstring injury to star man Hugo Anderberg did nothing to ease my concerns. Lucky for us the summer window was just around the corner. July
- This is the month that we hit the proverbial wall. We kicked off the month with another defeat to Värmbols, this time two-nil, before dropping points in two of our next three matches. The only win of the month came following the Värmbols match in an away win at struggling Arameiska-Syrianska courtesy of a goal from the man himself Mattias Lennartsson. The month as a whole saw us score just four goals across four games while allowing five. Hugo Anderberg did return to the starting eleven following his spell out with a hamstring injury. However, we traded one injury for another, losing left sided winger Elliot Nilsson to a sprained ankle for a large chunk of the remaining season. Reinforcements anyone? …Summer Transfer Window (Help?)…
- Center Back - I had a single goal in mind before looking to strengthen the squad heading into the window. Our defense needed help. Central defenders Jonahan Petersson and Wilgot Rydborg have been largely ineffectual to this point. Coming out of the window with a quality left-footed central defender was the sole focus. Fortunately, I had kept an eye on Pontus Johansson since the summer, despite him wanting nothing to do with a lowly club of our stature at the time. Thankfully, desperation to play made him change his mind and Johansson was signed to help fix our defensive woes.
- Goalkeeper - Part of me feels bad for this as Gustav Lindström has been goodish, maybe more good adjacent. He reminds me a lot of Jordan Pickford in that he’s a quality keeper most of the time… but my gosh the guy has a mistake in him. Lindström just doesn’t fill me with the confidence I like to have in keeper between the sticks. So… I dipped into the market once again to at least bring in someone to provide competition for the number one shirt. That player wound up being the unusually short in stature (5 '10") Samet Burgaj. I’ve mentioned this prior, but I normally don’t like keepers of a shorter height due to their usual lack of jumping reach and struggles commanding the area. However, Burgaj possesses strong reflexes and consistency that I am very much hoping to tap into throughout the remainder of the season.
- The new signings proceeded to make an immediate impact as we resumed league play. We snagged nine points in our next three games before once again facing league leaders Enskede. Despite playing exceptionally well, we fell to the league leading side by a scoreline of one-nil. I think we’re unfortunate to come away with nothing in the reverse fixture as we’ve played them exceedingly well in both matches this season. Following the defeat, we were able to bounce back with a three-nil win at Nyköpings BIS as we head into the final four league fixtures. September
- We come into the final month of the campaign with a realistic shot of finishing in second in the league. This would grant us a shot at promotion through the playoff, which is all I can ask for at this stage. Despite still being mathematically eligible to win the title, I think Enskede have all, but locked down the top spot with their impeccable form. Seven points from the first three games of the month saw us enter the final game week needing a win to gain playoff qualification. Fortunately, our destiny rested in our own hands as we played second place Smedby AIS. A win in our final league game would see us achieve the goal we set at the start of the year. Unfortunately, we came out completely flat conceding within the first minute of the game. An equalizer through Mattias Lennartsson thirty minutes later leveled the scoreline, but come full time we couldn’t find a match winner. …League Retrospection…
Our season concluded with Reymersholms finishing in fourth place in the Division 2 Södra Svealand. Despite not ending the year on a high by finishing in the second place playoff position, I still consider the season as a whole to be an overwhelming success. There were several notable improvements made throughout the course of the season and as a manager that is often all I ask to see. We went on to post very solid team statistics as well…
- Second in goals scored (53)
- Second in chances created (90)
- Third in goals conceded (25)
- Third in average possession (54%)
Individual honors can also be credited as well with none other than Mattias Lennartsson leading the division in goals scored with twenty two. Coincidentally his goal tally also set the record for most goals scored by a player in a league season. Surprisingly, full back Felix Rierstam made quite the impression in our debut season notching seven goals and four assists. Deployed at right back throughout the year, Rierstam managed to put away all three of his attempted kicks from the penalty spot.
Additional honors should also be doled out to Franjo Ivančić, the miniature Croatian magician, who started every game on the right contributing to nine goals and five assists. Quick aside as he is so fun to watch in the match engine being able to glide past defenders in spite of a slight frame. Shifting back to defense, Hugo Anderberg was immense at the back. He concluded the year by formulating a strong partnership with summer signing Pontus Johansson. I’m looking forward to seeing their partnership on display for an entire season next year. Unfortunately, we didn’t receive much production from anyone playing in our system’s number ten space. I am going to look to see if maybe the role or player instructions should be tweaked to facilitate better results. …Looking Ahead…
I’m intrigued to see if I can instigate a change out of future player performances in the creative midfield role. However, I am not opposed to dropping the player back into defensive midfield to then share midfield attacking responsibility between the central midfield pair. Usually, I try to steer clear of implementing a (4-3-3) in a majority of saves as I feel it exploits elements of the match engine. There are definitely tactical tweaks I will look to mull over in the offseason as we look to bring in a number of new faces. I’m open to suggestions, so feel free to share any tactical or player recommendations in the comments below. It will be nice heading into the winter months for the first time in a few years not eyeing the job market as well. I’m really excited to see what we can build at Reymersholms. Thanks again as always for the support, see you next time!
submitted by LlamaLlamaTwo
to footballmanagergames [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:43 Cisco9 Is everyone else getting gear drops way below your level?
First of all, I'm loving the game. Just wanted to get that out of the way before I post about my gear-level gripe.
Starting around level 20ish it seems like all the drops I get are several levels below my level. At 20 I was getting a lot of level 11 drops and even below 10 sometimes and never, ever any drops that were within 2 levels of my level.
I'm level 49 now and the highest level world drop I've had is level 41.
That just seems messed up to me in a level-scaled game and depending on the builds it will slow you down especially when the highest level weapon you can get is 8 levels below you but the monsters are all scaled to be either at your level or +2 for strongholds.
I'm also not a level-scaling hater. I like it in fact when it's done right. I hate to give ESO too much praise but at least they handle that part of level scaling the right way: every single world drop there is at your exact level when it drops.
I realize that at or near max level this won't be as big of a deal but I can't think of any reason why drops can't match your level, especially under level 50. The RNG on the quality of drops and tiers feels just fine but we don't need extra RNG on the gear level especially when it seems to be set at minus 8-10 levels at level 49.
submitted by Cisco9
to diablo4 [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:42 ThatGuyBob0101 You Lose. Part 1 - Pilot
Evan heard a ping on his phone. Huh? Who was messaging him at this hour?
He pressed the power button on his phone, watching through bleary eyes as the screen came to life. It was… an mp4 file. Sent through an unknown caller ID, with no callback number.
Tired, but curious, he hit the play button… seeing himself on screen. The background was pitch black, but he still got the sense that something was moving in it for some reason.
"So, one message to the me of the past?" the Evan on camera asked an offscreen individual. He chuckled. Evan looked at his video counterpart with confusion. Everything was the same. The dark-brown hair, the slim build, the not-quite-a-bowl-cut… There was also a look in his eyes. Of contemplation, deep thought… and despair… Eventually, the Evan in the video turned back to the camera.
"... You lose."
And then the video looped back around to the start.
What... the Hell?
Evan sat up straight in his bed, looking at the video play over again. 'I lose'? What the fuck does that mean??? More importantly, who sent this? He kind of doubted that this was 'me from the future'. A deepfake? Some kind of malware scam? Whatever it was, it felt like he was about to be in for a bumpy fucking ride. Full of calls to the bank, and to his lawyer, if he had to guess.
Evan stood up as he ran through his phone, checking his banking app, email, google accounts, everything. But… nothing seemed out of place.
Except for the bright flash outside.
He turned to look out the window, seeing purple light engulf the entire town of Harmony, and then as much of the surrounding woods as he could see. And, just as soon as it appeared, the light was gone.
As his eyes readjusted, all that remained were thin purple wisps in the distance, and a glowing purple orb, surrounded by a thin disc in the sky.
What the Hell!? What is happening!?
"... Fuck this." Evan walked back to his room with intent, unlocking the gun safe and retrieving his Colt 1911. He didn't have any idea what was going on, and he wasn't leaving his fate to chance.
Maybe the news has something. Almost as an afterthought, he turned the TV on as he hurried to put on clothes.
"- and we are working to figure out the situation as we speak. Whatever you do, do not attempt to leave more than two miles from town, as the barrier is an unknown at the moment of which we cannot discern the properties-..."
The news anchor stopped mid-sentence, looking off to the side. His expression grew horrified. The man took a gulp, turning back to the camera.
"... I've… just received news that the barrier turns anything it comes in contact with into shreds and chunks, before shooting the chunks back from the barrier... Whatever you do, do not approach it. I know you're scared, but we have to figure this out before it's safe to cross. I'll be staying on the news all day as this situation progresses, so keep-... Oh, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing!"
Shrill screams of panic sounded off behind the camera, as the news anchor jumped out of his chair. The sounds of meat and flesh being torn, alongside screams of pain, could be heard out of view, as the anchor tried to run. Before he could even get past the feed, though, a massive abomination just appeared out of nowhere. Three thick, spindly limbs, with muscle taut against the bones of the monster carried it forward with a casual, terrifying gait as its damp, pale skin reflected the set lights. One of two tails, the one that was noticeably shorter than the other, though still long enough to reach almost four yards in front of the creature, shot forward in an instant, stabbing its bony, knife-like protrusion into the news anchor's shoulder and pinning him to the table. The man yelled in pain as red blood stained his gray jacket, before the creature loomed forwards, grabbing him by the chest with one limb and throwing him into the chair. The news anchor was visibly terrified… but alive.
"You, are… mine," the thing ordered, its throat reverberating with each word. As its face lowered into the camera view, Evan got a good look at it. Three eyes, one of which was replaced with a blocky, blue cybernetic, and the other two on the same side of its unnatural face, rested atop its almost crocodilian head. Teeth that seemed almost too thin for such a creature glistened like metal from its jaws as it spoke, turning to the camera.
"... You… all… are… mine…"
Its longer tail fired off behind the camera, sinking into flesh. No screams were heard, as the limp corpse of a woman in casual wear was dragged over the table by the monster's tail.
"Remember, that, as you, report." It sank its fangs into the girl's corpse, before ripping nearly the entire left half of her torso off, and guzzling the torn flesh down its loose, baggy throat. The news anchor looked to be on the edge of vomit as the creature walked off.
... Yeah, fuck that.
Evans began unloading his truck. In the forest, just half a mile away from the wall of the town-encompassing 'dome', (which was the source of that purple 'mist' he had seen from his window) there was a clearing for campsites. It was dark. And far away. Which, in his eyes, made it perfect. He wasn't sure what this thing wanted, or what resources it had at its disposal, but he intended to find out. He checked the mag for his handgun again, still seeing eight rounds loaded. Same as the last time. With a sigh, Evan loaded the mag back in, holstering it before he pulled out a tent from the back of the truck.
As the wireframe came loose… he felt uneasy. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. There was no noise in the forest. No birds. No wolves. No owls. Nothing. And Evan swore he could feel the ground shaking… more and more each passing second.
Some forgotten reflex kicked in, as he dropped to the floor and scuttled under his truck. He barely got under the carframe in time, as the footsteps that shook the ground grew closer and closer.
As soon as he managed to fully pull underneath the car, the shaking revealed itself to be footsteps, as something launched at the truck at a missile-like speed. It slammed into the chevy's side, nearly tilting the automobile completely over, before giving out a shrill, ear-shattering screech. Evan held his hands to his ears, trying to block out the deafening noise as the monster continued attacking his truck. The sound of claws against metal echoed through the air as Evan saw a brief glimpse of the monster.
It had three bony tails, and a thick coat of feathers on its side. As one claw raked against his car, the creature's other long, lanky arm rested its knuckles on the floor as a third support for a moment, before the creature renewed its assault with both hands. He watched as the door was ripped off of its hinges, and the monster began ripping apart the dash and the passenger's seat. The shredding of pleather was easily audible, as its raptor-like foot grabbed ahold of a tire. It quickly kicked the wheel completely off of its hinges, sending it rolling off into the woods as it hissed out air. The tire seemed to grab the creature's attention, and it sprinted off into the woods after it.
... Jesus Christ…
A.N.:So, trying my hand at an original story again. Going for a horror vibe :P
But, yeah, comment all ideas you have for this story, bc the it's pretty blank at the moment aside from the broad strokes, beginning, and end right now, so any ideas are greatly appreciated!
Also, dw, Life of a Predator, Idiot Aliens, and Survival of the Fittest are all still being worked on!
submitted by ThatGuyBob0101
to HFY [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:40 silkylychee Is it wrong to stay with my partner (22M) even if i (22F) trying to suicide on his birthday?
If this post by any chance triggering or maybe uncomfortable to read, please do just scroll. [ English isn't my first language, i will try my best to elaborate it ]
Hello! This is my first time on Reddit and also my first time telling this story. I didn't tell anyone about this story in case i put the bad on his name.
So, I (22) and my bf (22) currently in a complicated situation about our relationship. We were started dating a year ago (April). He confessed to me that he likes me, after 3 years i've been secretly have a crush on him. So this relationship started with me being his secret admirer and finally got noticed.
We were happy go lucky couple before it started. But since beginning, i was an 'edgy' person. Maybe, i still am. I realize that i have very bad mental condition and bad coping mechanism. It happen because of my past event that affect me this much. I put some part of it here [it will be rellevant]
On 2014 (i was 13 back then), i get many traumatic events. - I was getting s3xu4l 455ault (r4p3 attempt, groping, touching, and many nasty thing without my consent). The perpetrator also terrorize me and often go to my home. This sexual assult making me lose my virginity. In my religion, and country, losing virginity means that you are no longer worthy. And i have no control over it nor a consent. - My father got stroke. The reason is hypertension. But a week before my father got the stroke, he slap me twice, because i went home from school 1 hour late. I was pushed by my mom to beg for his forgiveness, but until now my father never even feel sorry for it or even say he is sorry. - My mom nearly suicide because my father is flirting with his own colleagues.
But all of the events is repressed. So i have a bad coping mechanism. I am very secretive to those information because i'm afraid people will no longer accept me as who i am.
Those events also take a toll on me. I have very bad self esteem, high insecurity, often feels lonely because i'd rather cut every each friends i have so they don't have to know me, unworthy, and feel depressed. My bf and i are friend at college, we were in the same field of study and classes. I had a crush on him for a whole 3 years, and suddenly he confessed that he has feelings for me and we were dating. At first, we were happy. We were connected to every opinion we have, hobbies, likes and dislikes, even imaginary things.
At first, i was afraid to tell him that i'm not a virgin. But he is very reassuring. So i told him anyway, and he seems accepting it. But i have a very low insecurity, low self esteem, etc. So i often disbelief him, and at some point i often getting too obsessive with him and scared that he will leave.
On his birthday, i was going to his apartment to celebrate it. But i was unemployed, and broke. So i feel guilty not preparing anything for him. I just create a Carrd (website) and some cheesy text. But my feeling that day is off. I feel sad, anxious, and very guilty that i dont have anything to gave to him. At first, it was all good because i know i can spending time with him. But, no. I was lonely.
We have this agreement that it is okay for us to just chilling, stay silent, and just enjoy each others compant. But that night i feel so miserable and i just want him to spending time with me. But he's watching Youtube Shorts in the room while i feel lonely on the livingroom.
And then my thoughts is telling me that i'm not worthy, he's not even bats an eye even when i am with him right now, am i really need to be here?, it's better if he's celebrating his birthday with family.
So i storm into the room while being sulky, but he still watch Youtube Shorts. I was mad, i tell him that he should just celebrate his birthday with his family. For a proper celebration. I also almost text my friend to judge if my feeling is caused by me or him.
And then finally i get his attention, but he burst into tears. He's saying that i was being unfair to him, to be judge by my friend (that will eventually be biased), to say that he should celebrate the birthday with his family (because he told his family that he's celebrating with the bois). He then curling up and refused to be touched.
But i feel like it was also unfair that i was the one who come to him but he doesn't even attentive to me. It takes my money and hours to get into him (we live in different city). So, there was destructive thoughts. It feels suffocating that when i was open up my feelings, i also get blamed.
It feels suffocating and i have the urge to rushed into the balcony to get some air. Maybe at some part of my brain, telling me to just suicide. But, i really feel suffocated.
I run to the balcony, he chased me, and yell 'what are you doing?'
and i just answer with 'i should've just die'
We argued, and then he slapped me. It's not a hard slap, but sure bring those bad memories about my father.
I was scared that eventually he will treat me like my father's did to me. And i screaming crying.
So much happened that night, and i regret it every single day. We try to discussed it but at first, and i admit that my feeling of loneliss is just me gaslight him into my own problem.
But since then, every time i feel lonely and try to communicate with him, he turns cold. It's been 5 months since then, and i try my best to fix myself so i dont do any destructive behavior again. I've been go to therapy, try self love and forgiving myself, and many things so i don't ever relapsed again.
I promised myself not to suicide again because now i know how it affects other people. But, i think he feel burdened being with me.
So, any advice to this?
submitted by silkylychee
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:40 Buff_Knurttt A rambling introduction...what a community
I saw a lot of therapists over the years, got a few different diagnoses at different times: depression, ADHD, borderline, but the one that stuck most prominently was Autism. I didn't really agree with the autism when I was diagnosed. I'm not bad at reading people, in fact I am very good; I had to be. My mom was partial to that label though. To her it meant I was broken from the start, that I was incapable and that I should simply be locked away.
Stopped going to therapy, felt useless dwelling on myself like that, trying to fit into the prescribed boxes doctors told me I checked. For a while I did okay. I was constantly, glaringly, aware of the fact that I couldn't connect with other people, but I told myself that was a good thing. I never felt human and I didn't want to because I thought that made me stronger, less tied to "petty things" like empathy, but I couldn't always pretend.
I especially couldn't pretend once I started to use drugs more heavily. At first it was a great time with weed, actually letting go and feeling like I could be myself around people. Then, the tolerance started to creep in. Instead of losing control I would teeter on the edge, with too many mental faculties to let go of the walls, but too few to keep them standing; it started to be a terrifying experience. What was the solution, more harder drugs of course.
The first time I did mushrooms was mind blowing, finally I felt a real connection to people and the world, and through this connection I realized that I was afraid of the people I was around. I had built my home in this world out of eggshells. I cut them off and retreated into myself. It was something I'd done many times before, but this time was different. I could no longer lie to myself about not wanting connection, now I knew the truth that I was utterly afraid of it.
I spent the next couple years sinking deep into a pit of drug-induced half lucidity and isolation. There's a lot to tell there, a story of choosing not to die, but right now I don't think it's germane to the point of this already very long post; it's just a lot of suffering. Believe it or not this post is supposed to express the hope that I feel right now, so, on with the climbing out.
Eventually I started trying to pull myself together. Part of that was moving far away for a fresh start. Not my healthiest coping mechanism but one I needed to employ at the time. I kicked the drugs, started working again, and got myself back in school. I should have felt better, but the harder I tried to connect with people, the more hopeless I felt. I couldn't justify, to myself, any interaction with people when I "knew" that interaction with me only led to misery. It was maddening to want, more than anything, only to be a person, but still not deem myself worthy of such things.
In what I considered a last ditch effort before once again throwing in the towel, I tried to go back to therapy. This time I had a different goal though. I went in there brandishing my autism diagnosis, begging them to tell me that I was inherently broken and worthless, that I could never be human. I want to clarify that I don't think this about autism. My autistic friends are the only people I've ever really felt connected to, they're wonderful. I just really wanted to be able to justify giving up on being human, and I had been trained me that this was a good excuse.
Much to my dismay however, I got a wonderful therapist, a true healer. I went in there talking about how "because of autism I was this way" and "because of autism I feel like that", and she told me she didn't think I was autistic. I was mad. I had never really connected with the diagnosis, but now it was my justification; I was clinging to it. I very nearly didn't go back after that first session, not sure why I did.
As time progressed, she refused to diagnose me with anything, though we did discuss borderline quite a bit. She thought it was unhelpful to give people labels if they were just going to use them to box themselves in; I came to agree. Instead we just worked.
It took a long time before I accepted that the what was done to me was abuse and even longer for me to accept that I didn't have to be okay with it. She helped me to simply sit and feel, to be present; with that came the validation of my own emotions. She helped me to set boundaries and act on my own behalf rather than becoming whatever person I needed to be for someone else. She helped me find and accept as okay the desire to have human connection, even though my skills need work.
We worked together for a few years, then one day, I felt like I was done. I didn't feel "fixed" or anything like that, but I did feel like I had the capability to continue on my own. I will be eternally grateful to her for the incredible help she provided, and for the fact that in all that time, never once did she provide me a diagnosis.
It's been almost two years since then, and I am still doing better each day. I still struggle with a lot of typical social interactions, feeling of utter and worthless emptiness, and maintaining connections, but damn-it I keep trying. In many ways I am happy, though I'm still not really sure what that means.
Anyways, why did I stop lurking after seven years and feel the need to write all of this? I want to just say I don't know and leave it at that, but that's not true. The truth behind the reason for this rambling is threefold.
The Actually Relevant Part
1) A few months ago I reached back out to an old friend (I'm traveling halfway across the world to see her next week now) and I remembered a show recommendation she gave me the last time we were together; she said I reminded her of the main character. I finally watched it, and she was on the money, I really do relate to him. That made me have a pretty uncomfortable realization that there is a very specific type of character that I actually relate to in media: someone desperately trying to connect with others but unable to because of childhood trauma (usually CSA).
2) I now live in another country and am trying to set up a doctor here, that means manually requesting and transferring records. In the process I found that while my therapist never diagnosed me to me (still maintain that was a good call), for insurance purposes, she was treating me for PTSD. I was a little shocked by this, we never directly discussed PTSD but I felt like that was farther off base than many of the things we did discuss, so I put it out of my mind.
3) I wrote a poem today, one that I really like, which is rare. I don't share my poetry for reasons I think you all can probably guess at, but I really wanted this one to be out there. I went to OCPoetry, but they require you to critique others poems before posting. I like that policy, but I got stuck because I didn't feel like I have a valid opinion on anyone else's art.
For some reason all three of these things kind of just clicked together in brain and staring at reddit on my desktop (which I never do), I wondered if there was a CPTSD subreddit. I expected it to be like when I browse the subreddits for the different diagnoses I've received over the years: some moderately relatable content, some stuff that I cannot possibly understand, nothing that makes me feel seen.
Everything here, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. All of it made me feel real. like it was possible for people to know who I was. For the first time ever, I felt compelled to share with a community. I guess I wanted you all to know that: that you made me feel seen. I chose to share this story specifically because it is the broad strokes story of how I have always looked for that.
tldr I am introducing myself with a long rambling story about searching for answers as to my lack of humanity. I think I wrote it entirely for me, and I think that's okay.
submitted by Buff_Knurttt
to CPTSD [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 16:40 Erosion_jack I really wished daro drew ohma's scars when he fights. It would look so cool