Made&in

Hi all. I’ve posted in this thread before regarding my partner adopting a sick cane corso which we have been dealing with for about a year now, and I have told him multiple times I am at my wits end and ready to rehome the dog because he just will not help me at all with anything. I’ve expressed to him multiple times, I do not feel comfortable with the dog in our small already house because he pisses out of spite, throws up, now randomly has diarrhea, and farts nonstop which my partner has made no effort to clean up its always me. The last time it made a huge mess in the house I told my partner I was done and the dog needed to be rehomed, so I went and put the dog up for adoption and am taking control of the rehoming. He is acting like I am the biggest piece of shit for doing this and I just don’t even know how to handle this anymore. It’s either put up with this and deal with this animal for the 8 years it has left on this planet or I find it a better home where people don’t mind caring for him or his medical/behavioral issues. This is just becoming too much with a toddler and another newborn on the way (I know I’m an idiot)

It’s been just over 2 months since we ended. I dont know how to put into words how much i miss you. The emotions i feel for you are overwhelming.
Neither of us were perfect during our relationship, we both made mistakes in our own ways and i am sorry for mine. The amount of love we had for each other made the mistakes hurt even more. Love is the most painful and beautiful thing I’ve ever been able to experience and regardless of the way i was treated at times it still felt so right to be in love with you. I thought you were my person, i thought we would be together forever like we always said.
You told me not to contact you again and i really did want to wait for you. I wasn’t lying when i said that, even now here i am, still waiting for some reason. For something that will probably never be. You always said you wanted to have things right away and i knew you didn’t like waiting for things. I wonder if you told me not to contact you because you have a new boyfriend. Maybe you do, at first it was hard to come to terms with. But its gotten better.if that is the case, I truly hope you find happiness with him. No one on this earth is perfect and i hope he has the ability to grow with you and alongside you, to do the things that i could no longer do for you.
I want for nothing more than to talk to you again. To have my best friend back in my life. But i can’t do that to you. I want you to be free. Free from the pain we both felt being together. Free from any guilt you may feel for moving on when you know i may still be struggling. I hope that no matter where your life takes you, you can grow and move past your traumas and be the amazing person i know you are. I hope you dont just try and distract yourself from the pain you feel, but confront it so you dont put it on your future partners the way you did to me. If you dont confront it. This cycle will never end. That’s something i wish i could have told you. I think i think its important for you to know that.
You never said anything back to me about the letters i sent you. I dont know why. One of your biggest fears was me not responding to your letters and you didn’t say anything to mine. It feels like i poured my heart out to you just so you could ghost me. Even though it hurts, the rational side of me understands that it’s probably for the best.
I dont want to drag you down to the same feelings i feel. So here i am, putting these words out into a void that i know you will never see. I wanted nothing less than a lifetime with you and it really hurts to not even know how you are doing, even if it may be for the better. I hope from the bottom of my heart that you are doing well. Unfortunately, i know you are probably doing a whole lot better without me… I wish you all the best from the shadows, because i know that is the best thing i can do. Even if you never see this or never see me again. You will always have a silent supporter in me. I’m tremendously proud of you for the growth you’ve made and i want you to live your life to the fullest, whatever that may mean to you. I hope you are safe, happy and healthy.
Maybe, if we would have met at a different time, we could be together forever just like i had hoped. But whats done is done, and i must grasp that reality.
Im grateful to you for everything. The good the bad and everything in between. I love you even though i dont think we should be together right now. If you still have larbear, tell him i love him too.

and they basically need me for their parasite and I am falling for the same trap or creating a new trap for me buhahhaha
buhahahahahhaha
facts don't care about your feelings bro. They will torture me otherwise fuck you because they own this place. They are just paying me money to pay for my funeral or the houses I will own so that they can recycle me buhahaha because they now have the means to.
They injected this virus because curing people is not profitable it doesn't interest them why would they? They brought me here and had me so that it benefits them and not me...
Thanks mom and daddy for bringing me to aucschwitz and that I am my own worst enemy buhahaha the goal was to silence me so that they can take note and treat me as their pet.
Because I believe that i am special fucker I am their pet dog and they need me for their dirty work and they are torturing me from all angles. Whoever made this matrix did it to fuck with me and they will torture me because of my name otherwise turn me into AI or kill me off...
They deleted me and even stole my money buhahahhahaha buhahahhahaha so it make them feel good. They'll just steal money or make it worthless.
They are stronger than me anyway...the goal was to kill my sex drive because facts don't care about your feelings bro and feelings don't care about facts
I am falling for the same trap or a similar trap and this will come back to haunt me in one shape or form. A slave to a higher power that is stronger than me. Forever slaves to science and god.
Otherwise die...Only women and girls will get the utopia they are after and they just need me to die or kill my sex drive and continue to torture me like this....
buhahhahahahahahahah ahahahhahahaha Women were given more and my stupidity costs me my free will because I am a dumbass.. IF not then other men will get in the way...
I am already getting sloppy and lazy as it is...to limit my freedom because they own this place...They purposely injected this virus so that they can change me at the biological level and play bio warfare and music does the same thing...
They can de-evolve me and torture me from behind but he loves me bullshit the goal of torturing me was to fund their organization so that I can't get beauty sleep and get addicted to a drug of hope.
I won't know the long term damage of the comments i post here or the music I listen to either because this bullshit matrix.
Even if you did create it they'll just steal it or shove us back into the dark ages. The goal of this matrix is that they want me to self destruct or continue to torture me and control my life and my destiny buhahahhaa otherwise send the crazies after me because she has done it all and seen it all and rightfully so women and girls and gay men are stronger as are my parents. The goal is that you are the slave to your parents and society buhahahhaha
ahahahahhahahaha
They will kill me and silence me otherwise you wil obey by our rules and laws buhahhahahahaha
this so that the jews and nazis and other sciences and religion can recycle me otherwise take privileges away and they will because they own and rule this place. Even if I make something someone else will steal it away...or copy it or corrupt it.

Our LO is 14 weeks and in the 35% for weight, 60% for height (basically a smedium sized baby). I'm learning the hard way that not all baby clothes brands are made for her body shape, and feeling stressed about buying summer clothes that im not sure will fit since we currently don't have a lot of time to drop off donations.
We've tried burts bees (too big), goumi (too small), carters little planet (actually, just right, but there's so few options for basics), hanna andersson (fits well but everything we have is suuuper heavy-weight cotton), Little Co (the legs were weirdly tight), and h&m (also fits pretty good, but waaaay less soft than all other options).
Seeing that list makes me feel like I seem really picky, but I swear I'm not, I'm just looking for one freaking goldilocks brand.
Has anyone shopped with Primary or Monica and Andy? Do their clothes fit "true to size"? Do you have any other recommendations? I feel like I'm grasping at straws just trying to get a freaking onesie.

New user here. I've had my Gaggia Classic Pro for a few months. It works great for the most part, but it pulls water too quickly. It extracts a double espresso shot (or 42 grams) in only 3-4 seconds.
According to Gaggia's docs, this process should take 20-25 seconds.
Is this normal?
The only mods I've made is to change the portafilter with a bottomless portafilter. Could that be the reason?
Appreciate any help!

Whassup everybody!! So I made this account literally just to ask how to properly lucid dream bc i habe sum troubled everytime i try it. So, yesterday night i told myself i was dreaming and woke up in my dream and almost had an outter body experience, however, that seemed like it wasnt the right way to lucid dream so it scared me a lil and i woke up. Also there were a lot of colours going on so that was smth. Also, everytime i tell myself in a dream, thag im just dreaming, nothing happens and i mostly just wake up. I tried the Meditation videos on yt for lucid dreaming too but they never seem to work. Like when they tell u to imagine a door or smth i just cant do it the way they tell u to. That makes me super frustrated and idk what to do anymore. Did anyone have similar experiences and how did u change it? Also how can i change it?
Thank u for readin through allat!!!

Feedback is appreciated!
https://responsive-signin-page-9btbi.ondigitalocean.app

Hi everyone. I posted in this thread awhile ago but things got better, and I was happy again and feeling connected to my partner again for awhile. Back in December, I moved away. Only an hour and a half from my partner, so he came to see me on the weekends until he planned to move in a few months later (he was finishing college stuff up). Our sex life had finally reinvigorated. It was wonderful. He made the time for us to have intimacy and be connected to one another. (Previously, we had a DB for about 6 months to a year off and on).
Now, he’s been living with me for almost 2 months. And we’re back to nothing again. He’s happy, working out, feeling good, and acts like he wants me sexually but will never follow through. I will say I have grown in my confidence more and I’m looking / feeling better than I ever have.
But the last couple weeks, I’ve had to have a conversation with him every week because I’d be so confused as to what he wants. He’s basically all talk. He told me he wanted me to “ask when I want sex”, but he’s literally sitting there scrolling on his phone paying me no mind at night when we would usually do it. He’s made me feel guilty for having a sexual need in the past, and so if he doesn’t seem enthused or happy about sleeping with me, or showing NO desire, why would I want to ask?? That makes me feel like a disgusting human being. And the times I have tried to initiate by literally giving him a handjob in the shower he just laughed at me. Then when I mentioned that in the conversation, he said “I don’t see that as sexual” what?! When he’s literally started sex with me tons of times in the shower 2 years ago when we were often.
The last couple times I have very kindly asked him how we could fix things or if I could help in any way (very respectfully, calmly), he just yelled at me. Got worked up and his answer to everything was maybe I should just leave? Do you want me to leave? It makes me really upset so then he calms down and tries to comfort me. But I don’t want his comfort if that’s how I have to get it.
Now he’s says he hasn’t been in the mood any. But for the last few weeks since he moved he told me several times that his libido was a lot better and he wanted sex a lot more. So I’m just confused as to what I should do. I am very communicative, but he just gets upset. I put a lot of effort into looking nice for him, shaving, and making that effort. But I get nothing except an occasional ass slap.
Any advice here? Men, what is your perspective on how he could be feeling? I care a lot about him.
any DMs attempting sexual communication will be blocked

This shouldn’t be necessary to say but just to get it out of the way in case, I’m black, Puerto-Rican and gay. Anyway, the original rainbow pride flag 🏳️‍🌈 in my opinion was fine. The reason the creator made it a rainbow was because he wanted to represent everyone, so he thought a flag of all the colors would make sense. It’s a little tacky but I’ve gotten used to it and have grown to really like it.
Then, someone said black and brown LGBT people need to be represented too. Which…why did anyone think they weren’t represented before? It was a rainbow meant to be all colors. Yes I understand it’s only 6 colors and didn’t literally have every color in existence in it but that was the point. So anyway they added a black and brown strip to the flag. Which, I’m not like offended or anything, but it’s just, me being black and “brown” it just doesn’t have anything to do with being gay. Being black is not a sexual identity. It just feels inappropriate.
For example NOW (National Organization for Women) is a women’s rights organization. If they said, “We need to be more inclusive so we are changing our name to NOWBW “National Organization for Women and also black women” wouldn’t that make you scratch your head, like I assumed you included black women when you said women??
If BLM changed their name to BLMAABWABGLM “Black Lives Matter And Also Black Women And Black Gay Lives Matter” wouldn’t that make you think “Well I assumed that was implied when you made the first slogan?”
The trans triangle being added to the flag, I mean, I guess. It’s less objectionable to me because its at least in the same ballpark but I still feel the original rainbow represented all including trans and black or brown LGBT people.
Setting my rant aside, even if you disagree with me can you agree that the new flag is ugly? New flag

During the pandemic I worked as a FoH supervisor for a successful local chain of counter service restaurants. FoH employees were paid $2.50+tips, supervisors were paid $5+tips and the tip pool was aggregated daily. Anytime I was the closing manager I studied the financials for the day.
There were two things that really bothered me. The first was the widespread adoption of Ubereats and Doordash. Every night I would calculate the percentage of revenue that went through delivery apps since they tipped exactly $0.0 to us even though these orders still needed a lot of our attention (making espresso drinks, packing up pastries, packaging orders from the kitchen). On average delivery apps averaged 20% of our revenue daily, which means on any given day 20% of the work we did paid at our base rate. I was always vocal with upper management about this problem, reminding them that for 2hr out of my 8hr shift I was making $5/hr and my people were making $2.50/hr. But as long as we were making above minimum wage when they write our weekly paycheck they couldn’t care less.
The second problem with the tips came from the POS itself. We used a POS system that one might spread butter on in the morning. We phased out cash payments at the beginning of the pandemic but still accepted cash tips. No one took the cash home at the end of the night. I had to log it and send it to the main office once a week. Why did this matter? Because this POS system has a %2 fee on all credit/debit card tips which your employer can legally pull from YOUR tips without telling you. So in 2021 the $24,000 I made in tips had $480 subtracted without my consent or knowledge. The company could do this legally because they weren’t profiting from the tips or the tip fee. But it’s shady AF to silently pass on costs of doing business to your lowest paid employees.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1048bwd8eEWv0zKkH3yWhk?si=Z44Oo-dzRR2FXZhFgUEj5w
made this playlist before, bpd playlist i suppose... i have more "mood" playlists in my profile

My little brother and I are seven years apart and we had some major differences in our upbringings but still grew up spending a lot of quality time watching movies, playing video games, etc. As I have entered my 30s and he is establishing his adult life more it has become increasingly difficult to get him to interact with me.
The last few years have been difficult in both of our lives.
At the beginning of the pandemic I had a mental breakdown after the death of a friend and cut my parents out of my life due to some extreme trauma that they caused in my childhood and teen years that related to this friend. I discussed it a lot with my brother as he also has issues with them though not the same ones because they parented him significantly different than they patented me.
The disconnect between us started at this time. He was angry with me that I was blowing up the family and told me to just make sure I knew what I was really doing. Around the time of one of the last fights with my parents, my dad had gotten violent with my brother in the the presence of my brother’s girlfriend and I freaked out on my parents for it. My mother sent a screenshot of my texts to my brother and told him to stop lying to me about the situation to turn me against them. He responded to that by telling me to stay out of his business and not talk to my parents about him.
This all eventually got squashed. I went to therapy and my mother hounded me until I talked to them again. It kind of worked out because my parents really worked on shit and talked it out with me and things with them have been better than ever.
During this time it’s relevant to note that my brother’s dog got very sick in old age and my brother’s girlfriend was not supportive at all. She has sensory issues and an old sick dog that affected her allergies made her have some breakdowns. My brother seemed to adopt this ready for this shit to end attitude about his dog that was really weird and tried to get me to babysit the dog while they were on vacation but I didn’t feel comfortable because he was dying and I lost an important dog to me a couple years before to bad illness and just couldn’t handle it. I told him exactly that. He guilted me a lot about that at the time and seemed angry. I did help out with money for vet bills and try to do what I could. Took him to lunch to get his mind off things and stuff like that cause I felt bad I couldn’t take his dog. But it still seemed like when I couldn’t babysit that was another hit to our relationship.
Last year I got very sick with a chronic illness that blew up my life. He took me to my initial hospital visit when I had a weird test result that they sent me to the hospital for. I really appreciate that as no one else seemed to care at the time and I couldn’t drive myself because they told me I might have to have an emergency spinal tap, but I think maybe this was too much for him because it seemed to distance us yet again.
I had a mental hospital stay because the neurological condition I had caused some severe mental issues. I let him know I was in there and would be okay but didn’t call him while I was in because it was hard to get phone time and I was trying to focus on treatment. I think this was another hit that i caused cause who wants to waste energy on their crazy sister that doesn’t even call them with updates while she’s in the hospital.
He’s also now started dealing with his trauma with my parents and tried to get me on board with confronting them with him but I went through that already and like where I’m at with them so I’ve told him I’ll support him with whatever he does but don’t want involved in the conversations. I think that was another hit to our relationship.
I’ve sent him some ranty upset texts in regards to being sick and not being able to handle things while I’ve been in treatment for physical and mental stuff now and he usually ignores me and never asks me how I am doing. I think maybe me being sick and stuff is too much for him to put energy towards and maybe he thinks of me as a burden and doesn’t want to talk to me.
I see him at family game nights every couple months, but there is a tension I don’t understand. I also don’t know how to be friends with his girlfriend because I am socially awkward with women and she is also socially awkward so we don’t bind much and I think maybe he thinks I don’t like her and that also causes tension. Like her though we are both just weird and don’t know how to talk to each other.
He will be moving a few hours away soon and I can’t help but feel like I just won’t ever see him again now.
I try to text and ask how he is doing and how he’s feeling about all the big things in his life and I send him memes and stuff and he just ignores it most of the time. Sometimes we have plans and he cancels last minute. Sometimes even family game nights are planned weeks in advance and he’ll suddenly have a party or something to go to a night before. It all just feels weird and like he doesn’t like me anymore.
I think that’s all the details. Advice I’m looking for is like how can we maybe move past all these things that have happened the last few years? Should I try to talk to him about all this or just come to terms with growing older and growing apart and get over myself?
I’m fully ready to accept that I am just too self absorbed. I have lost all of my friends to death, prison or me just being too much from being sick and I am chronically lonely so maybe I am putting too much on this relationship with him.