Tried all pvp servers before MoP and don't like how bare the classes feel to me.
MoP pvp loved. Never tried WoD, Legion, etc.
Part 18 A Delicate Situation (Part 1) (Part 17)
"Aho, Zim, ni je na?" Msko was the first to notice and greet the relatively short, stout, and furry being that just waddled into The Hammer’s Control Center.
"Ah, Administrator Zimuzari, I am honored you could join us." Atxika's eyes quickly shot up from the holographic display being projected from the table she was leaning on and landed on Kyim'ayik colony leader. "Have you had an opportunity to read through the initial report we sent you?"
"Hello there, Mkso, Admiral Atxika. It's…" The reddish-brown ball of fur paused his adorable squeaking, half covered his mouth with one of his paws, and let out such a tremendous yawn that Atxika could see both the massive front incisors as well as the not quite as large, but still impressive, set of canines behind them. "My apologies, I woke up less than half an hour ago. But it is good to see you both, as well as an honor and privilege to join you in your Command Center, Admiral."
"The honor and privilege are mine." Atxika bowed slightly with her pleasant smile still wide. "And I would like to apologize for waking you. It will still be a few days before we arrive at our destination and this strategy meeting could have waited."
"No, no, no, that's alright." Zim quickly replied with his species' high pitch and chirpy version of galactic common while stretching out and flicking his long, shiny whiskers as he approached the military leaders. "I've already gotten about nine hours of sleep. Skipping the last hour or two has killed me yet! And I’d rather get started on this sooner rather than later.”
Admiral Atxika had to put in real effort to prevent herself start cooing at the delightful manner with which Zim made his way over to the holo-table and climbed the stool-like chair designed for his anatomy. The long, wide, and flat tail distinctive of the Kyim'ayik was lifted just off the ground and stretched far back to balance the rest of the being’s body weight while the relatively short hind legs carried him along in an awkward, though comfortable, bipedal gait. With the limited range of motion in the squat, fuzzy man’s leg-like arms as he stretched, it was clear his species was more intended for quadrupedal locomotion. Despite that fact, the posture of the Kyim'ayik Administrator while he walked was far more similar to her own, or a human’s, than what she had remembered from her previous interactions with the species. However, as Zim stretched out his back to its full length, adding good chunk to his overall height, and began climbing the stool so he could have a proper view of holographic display, Atxika was suddenly reminded of a domesticated species of vermin-hunting musteloid from her species’ homeworld that were quite popular pets. Even though she knew this furry little man was a well respected guest on her ship, and a being from an Ascended species, she couldn’t get over how adorable he was.
“I hope you didn’t wake the misses.” Msko commented with a sarcastic tone while shooting the beaver-otter a cheeky wink.
“Nah, that woman could sleep through an atomic detonation.” Hearing the galactic common word for ‘atomic detonation’ be said with such an endearing squeak was pushing the Admiral to the absolute limits of her self control.
“I can have some food and refreshments brought, if you like.” Atxika interjected while doing her best to keep her smile from growing too wide and showing all of her teeth.
“Oh n-” Zim was about to politely decline before Msko interrupted him with a bit too much energy.
“Yes, please!” The War Chief blurted out. “That restaurant Tens took me to in your Amenities Section was amazing! I knew this ship had a huge manufacturing capability, but I didn’t realize you’d have freshly grown food.”
“I’ll have the private command facilities prepare something.” The Admiral quickly replied to ensure that Zim couldn’t refuse. “How does a zetloxoni platter sound?”
“What are-” Zim began to ask before Atxika realized her mistake and explained.
"Zetloxoni are fish fillets, rolled in a semisweet and highly nutrient-rich grain, and occasionally topped with more fish or other ingredients." The Admiral replied while typing into the display to bring up a holographic representation of the sushi-like dish she was describing. "This is what I was thinking."
"That actually looks amazing!" The Kyim'ayik ears suddenly perked up and eyes grew wide with delight.
"Wonderful! It's settled then." Atxika pressed in a few more commands to place the order then tried to redirect the conversation to reason for the meeting. "I find it is often easier to address delicate situations with a clear mind and full stomach."
"Delicate?" The squeaky reply carried a noticeably sarcastic tone as Zim shifted his attention towards the holographic representation of a planet and saucer shaped ship orbiting it. "That looks like Arnehilians. Ain't nothing delicate about the Grays, except maybe their physical forms."
"Well, they're definitely Arnehilians but…" Msko interjected with a hesitant tone that caught his Kyim'ayik friend off guard. "We don't think they're Grays."
There was a second of confused silence as Zim stared into the War Chief's eyes to see if this was a joke. Before Nishnabe could bring himself to explain, however, Atxika chimed in to give the proper explanation.
"What I am about to say is Level 8 classified information from Military Command and should be treated with the appropriate amount of secrecy. Do you understand?" After an incredibly professional and understanding nod from the Administrator, the Admiral continued. "We have confirmed the existence of a non-aligned, neutral-standing collective of decentralized Arnehilian groups who refer to themselves as, quote, 'the Greens', or the Free People of Sundered Arnehil. According to all reports, they are an ecologically-minded, nomadic, agricultural society who regularly travel in such a way as to avoid any means of tracking or detection by their… less peaceful cousins. However, there are a few who regularly check in with Military Command to avoid potential confrontations. There have been no indications that any of their groups discovered so far are violent, nor even capable of galactic standard levels of self-defense."
"I thought those rumors were just misinformation or propaganda." Zim was now much more earnest as gazed upon the holographic saucer floating above the planet. "And you say they're even ecologically-minded?"
"Our drones haven't detected any significant environmental disruptions." Msko sounded far more nonchalant about this situation than his long-time friend was expecting. There was no aggression or anger in his movements as he indicated towards a highlight portion of the holographic planet floating above the table and prompted the display to project a new hologram. "Their settlement is using solar and wind energy to operate their infrastructure and accumulate power reserves. From what we can tell, they're only a week away from finishing their agricultural harvest and two weeks away from their power reserves being fully recharged. If we had been delayed a month, there's a good chance we would have missed them completely."
“What kind of resource impacts would I have to account for?” The Administrator quickly followed up.
“Maybe a couple hundred tons worth of basic elements and organic matter.” It was clear Msko had already scoured everything and couldn’t find any reason to be concerned. “But the drones' sensors can’t detect any real difference between now and six months ago. Like I said, if we were delayed a month, we might not have even known they were ever there.”
"I see…" There was a moment of pause as Zim stared at the highly detailed holographic representation of a temporary settlement located only a couple dozen kilometers from where he had been planning his own colony.
The two military officers remained silent to give the Kyim'ayik Administrator all the time he needed to think about what he had just been told. Each species, without exception, had some unique form of architectural design and aesthetic, and the variety of buildings Zim was looking at were no different. The extensive use of cheap, easy to produce polymers, the simple, module construction, and rounded, nearly circular, aesthetic to all of the building were all clearly Arnehilian. However, there was something humble, almost intentionally so, about the lack of silver-metal detailing combined with the way the structures simply flowed into the untouched trees around them. Rather than a budding slaver-colony run by beings who thought themselves entitled everyone and everything, this looked like the respectfully maintained dwelling of a temporary guest who wished to remain discreet. Though the Administrator knew his duty to his people would normally demand he evict these uninvited squatters from his land, he couldn’t help but feel something almost kindred in what he was seeing.
"Have you made contact with them yet?" Zim flatly asked, though he could already guess the answer. "Do they know we're coming?"
"No and no." Atxika promptly answered, while letting her smile fall into a more professional expression. "Their ship is inactive, seems to be in a state of disrepair, and is currently in a free-floating, low orbit. According to our scans, their ground-based sensor systems are incapable of detecting our reconnaissance drones. However, they would absolutely notice our fleet entering the system."
"Well, we don't wanna scare them." Zim finally squeaked out with a slightly giggle that sounded more like a chirp. "Reptiles always freak out when you startle them."
It had been nine hours of working in the greenhouse when Mayor Harideth noticed the young dark gray-skinned, olive-drab clad messenger running towards him at full speed. Though he had known this young woman her entire life, she was a member of her community after all, he had never seen her running this fast. It wasn't the speed of her approach that made him stop what he was doing, rather it was the unadulterated fear plastered across her face. As Nalhilum sprinted down the path between the vertical hydroponic racks, a few of the Arnehilians in the greenhouse took notice, though didn't stop their work. When the young woman came to a sliding halt just in front of the Mayor, it looked like she was about to keel over from exhaustion and stress.
"My dear, please." Harideth had a genuinely concerned expression on his scaly face as he quickly moved to brace the young woman and prevent her from falling over. "You are too young to give yourself a heart attack running like that. Whatever is happening, you don't need t-"
"Mayor, we've been detected." The dread that came out of Nalhilum's voice and the tears in her eyes as she looked up at her community leader shattered the man's soul.
"Do not fear, Nalhilum, my dear. Please sit and rest. We will be fine. I promise." Harideth helped the young woman slowly lower herself into a seated position, plucked a just-ripe fruit from a vine he had been tending, and handed it to her before turning towards the closest other people in the greenhouse. "Maricha, please see to Nalhilum and ensure she recovers. I am needed in my mayoral duties immediately."
In the few seconds it took for the worker to be at the young woman's side, she had already begun nibbling on the sweet treat, savoring it as this was her last opportunity, and the Mayor had given her a gentle kiss on the forehead then began running out of the greenhouse. Though Harideth felt he had a personal duty to stay at his messenger's side until she had fully recovered and ensured she wouldn't need further assistance, he had a greater duty to his community as a whole. Despite feeling the same fear that he saw in Nalhilum’s eyes, and wanting to ball up and hide with every fiber of his body, he charged as fast as he could towards the town hall building. Though he knew running this fast was not good for his health, especially in his old age and after working all day, the only thing on the Mayor’s mind was the safety and future of the people who trusted him with their lives.
“Please don’t let it be the Oppressors.” Harideth muttered to himself as he ran as fast as his legs could take him. “By the Gods of Old, please don’t let it be them.”
For nearly a millennium now, his people had been free of those who flew the red and gray flag and, despite the many hurdles and setbacks, they had found their own form of happiness. After the Dynastic family who had kept his working-class ancestors in literal chains had been dealt a devastating blow when their capital ship was overrun by a group of abducted, pre-Ascension beings, it sparked a revival of the Free People’s ideology in the slave population. Stories of people living together in mutual aid, love, and respect once only told in hushed whispers were shouted from the rooftops as most of the surviving members of the Dynasty were thrown from them. Once all of the slaves of the other species were freed and on their way back to their respective homes, the budding groups of Greens scattered into the interstellar winds to avoid reprisal from other Dynasties which were sure to want revenge. There was even a dream that they would find other groups of Free Arnehilians living among the stars.
It was a blessing that their rebellion had initially gone unnoticed by the rest of the Arnehilian Dynasties and the greater community as that gave his ancestors time to disperse beyond the ability to be completely tracked down. Even if a few scattered communities eventually met their death or worse, the end of their freedom, there would be some who were able to survive and thrive. Though Harideth had assumed his nomadic village may eventually run into someone, he put a great deal of effort into minimizing that potential. In fact, he chose this very planet as their temporary stopping grounds specifically because it was far out of the way of most civilizations and people. After spending nearly a full season on this beautiful world, he had even started to grow attached to it and was looking for an excuse to postpone their migration in order to facilitate repairs to their ship. Being detected after so long, and with only a few weeks until they would have been ready to leave on their own, was something the Mayor could have never been prepared for.
“Make a hole!” A person wearing a dull green cap shouted down a rather cramped corridor that Harideth was barreling towards at full speed before quickly pulling back and nodding towards the man as he passed.
“Thank you, Chuzikum.” Harideth faintly mouthed while darting past the person and into the now cleared passageway that led outdoors.
Finally outside, the man only slowed his sprint to turn a few corners and avoid running into the few unwary people who had failed to notice him coming. He was less than a hundred meters away from the town hall building housing his destination, the command and control room, and he couldn’t stop now. Regardless of how hard his heart was beating, how much he felt his body overheating from the strain, and how much he wanted to just collapse, he couldn’t fail his people. As the building got closer and closer, Harideth tried to think through all of the possibilities of who it could be that had detected them. Though none of the options that came to his mind were particularly pleasant, from Bendari pirates to Qui’ztar law enforcement or even the Oppressors themselves, he was already trying to work out contingency plans as he finally approached the already open door and his assistant waiting for him beside it.
“Please close the door behind us, Marlati.” Harideth’s request was just barely audible as he crossed the threshold of the door and was quickly followed by his assistant who did as she was asked. “Who is it and what do they want?”
“The communication signal we are receiving registers as the Qui’ztar Third Matriarchy, Mayor Harideth.” Marlati quickly and quietly replied as she followed the man towards the command and control room.
“Oh, thank the Gods.” The Mayor stopped mid step and placed a hand on the wall next to lean and catch his breath for a moment. “This could still be very bad, but it could have also been so much worse.”
“Um, sir?” The Mayor’s assistant watched him with a hint of concern as she could see how much he was overheating. “Would you like me to get you a cooling pack?”
“Oh, no, that’s alright.” Harideth stood back up straight and continued towards his final destination, though a bit slower than before. As he turned back to his assistant, he gave a compassionate nod of approval. “You are too kind, my dear. This is just a…” The man’s voice trailed off as his thoughts began to concentrate on a plan of action.
“A what, sir?” Marlati nervously in a manner which caused the Mayor to look back at her. “I’m sorry sir, but this is the first time this has ever happened in my entire life.”
“First time for me too, Marlati.” Harideth admitted with a hit of nervous laughter. “But I do know enough about the Qui'ztar to not be issuing an immediate emergency evacuation order.”
“That’s not very reassuring.” Though the whine that just came his assistant would have been grating in any other circumstance, she was right and the Mayor knew it.
“That is the name of the game you help some of the children play, something of the magical planets?” Harideth stopped at the door to the room which separated him from his responsibilities as a Mayor.
“Adventures of the Magical Worlds, sir?”
“Yes! I believe there is a moral alignment chart in the rules somewhere.” Though it was clear that his assistant didn’t quite know what he was getting, it became incredibly obvious as he explained. “If I remember correctly, everything I’ve read about the Qui’ztar would put them roughly in the ‘hierarchical neutral’ category.”
“Ah…” The assistance was quite hesitant as she knew what that actually implied. “That still isn’t very reassuring.”
“They’re here to do a job. And as long as we comply and don’t get in their way, we’ll be fine.” The Mayor was doing his best to hold up his mask of confidence and not let this young feel what he felt.
“And what if their job is to kill us?”
“Then they wouldn’t have made their presence known. They would have simply shown up and sent us all to the next life.” However morbid that statement was, it actually did give the Marlati a small sense of real relief in the fact they weren't already dead as the door to the command and control room opened and the pair slowly walked in.
"Sir! Thank the Gods you're here!" A communications specialist shouted from his seat in front of a terminal towards the Mayor as he quickly approached.
"Of course, Telucima, I wouldn’t make you talk to them all by yourself." Harideth tried to crack a joke to the young woman behind the terminal in a vain attempt to calm her obviously flustered nerves. Though Telucima’s dark gray skin was never as shiny as a royal's, her face was especially dull and pale at the moment and the Mayor couldn’t help but empathize with her. “Now, please, give me your report. What do we know?”
“Well…” Telucima made a gulping sound as she swallowed some of the semi-poisonous saliva that had been building up in her mouth as a fear response. “There is a fairly substantial colony fleet headed our way being escorted by the First Independent Fleet of the Third Qui'ztar Matriarchy. They have stated that we are inhabiting an unregistered settlement on a planet that has already been claimed by the Kyim'ayik. However, they have not yet made any demands, claimed our settlement is in violation of any laws, or even made any threats. I am absolutely sure they know who we are, but they didn’t explicitly identify us in their message. I’m not exactly sure what it is going on, but the signal strength and delay indicate they are still a day or two away.”
“Interesting…” The Mayor commented with a more curious than scared tone while rubbing the top of his head in contemplation. “No demands, threats, or attempts to justify the use of force through galactic law… Is there any way we could get a real-time communications link established?”
“Sir? You want to talk to them?” Marlati could barely contain her fear as she interjected. “I thought every species hated us, and you want to talk to them?”
“They hate the bastard Oppressors, Marlati, though maybe not as much as we do.” Harideth knew this would be his one and only chance to make a good impression on what could otherwise be their impending doom and he was doing everything in his power to muster the inner courage needed for this conversation. “They may not know the difference between us and… them… yet. But something tells me they might.”
“Sir,” Telucima had redirected her attention back to her terminal and was running through the system to facilitate the Mayor’s request, “I can establish a quantum link, though it would require me to activate the relay on the ship. If there are any oppressors nearby, there’s a chance they could detect our presence and attempt to use the trace to track us down.”
“Do it.” The Mayor ordered with a tone that implied he knew the risks. “I want to see if these Qui’ztar would be willing to allow us to stay for the few weeks required to complete our harvest. Worst comes to worst, we’ll have to start packing everything up early and delay the repairs for another season.”
The next few moments were nearly silent aside from the sounds of a tapping keyboard and the occasional digitized ping from the terminal. Telucima had begun the task of awakening the ship, configuring the communications channel, and activating the relay through text-based commands on a simple, monochromatic screen, while the other two people clad in simple olive-drab clothing could do nothing but fester in their thoughts. While Harideth was busy planning out how he was going to grovel and beg for permission to finish his people’s desperately needed harvest of fresh food, Marlati was simply doing everything in her power not to shake in fear. When the final confirmation ping came from the terminal and Telucima began pressing her headset tightly to her ears, the faint whispers of a translated voice could be heard.
“Yes I can understand you…" The communications specialist, though lacking much previous experience in speaking with a member of another species, seemed to be focused solely on her job and not her fear. "Oh no, I'm sorry, this terminal doesn't have that function. It's… Yes, I can absolutely do that. Just give me one moment to set up the connection and I'll be right back with you."
In a flash, Telucima had taken off her headset, stood from her console, and was moving to a nearby bag resting on a table, much to the shock of the other Arnehilians. Before either the Mayor or his assistant could question the young woman, she was triumphantly holding up her personal data-tablet and was returning to her seat.
"What-" Harideth began before the young woman cut him off while pulling her tablet into the terminal.
"Ope, sorry about that, sir." The specialist cut off her mayor and began to explain in a rush. "I was speaking to a communications officer and she wanted an audio-visual feed to link to her commanding officer. This terminal doesn't haven't that functionality, but I can just just patch a link through my tablet. It's got a mic and camera and we can use it as the display."
“Good thinking, Telucima.” The Mayor laid a gentle, compassionate hand on the woman’s shoulder after she had placed the tablet at a good angle and sat back into her chair to type in the commands. “I knew you were the right person for this job.”
“It was the communications officer’s idea, sir.” Telucima couldn’t help herself but to be honest regardless of the praise. “I’m just glad there were instructions for this kind of patch in the training manual. It should just take a moment to load.”
When the relatively small screen came to life in front of the Mayor’s face, he saw three faces looking back at him with expectant eyes, and he froze in shock. Though none of the expressions looked out right hostile, he could tell none of those individuals would tolerate anything less than submission. Despite only ever seen descriptions of the being he was now looking at, all three could easily be identified. Even without his tail being visible, the furry, large-toothed person on the right was clearly a Kyim'ayik. The large, mostly-hairless, blue primate with pronounced tusks in the middle was, without a doubt, a Qui'ztar of particularly high rank. However, the not-as-large, similarly hairless, but copper-brown primate on the left was a species Harideth had a special fear, and particular reverence, for.
“Are… Are you a Nishnabe?” Harideth stammered out before even introducing himself or allowing these beings to introduce themselves, which prompted the Qui’ztar and Kyim'ayik to turn to the now confused human.
“Yes…” Msko replied hesitantly. “I take it you are aware of my people?”
“Aware…” Harideth couldn't stop the heartfelt smile from forming across his scaly face. “You… Your people… the Vanquishers of Tyrants, the Bane of Oppressors, the Unstoppable Rage, and the Saviors of the Oppressed… Your people are the reason my people have been blessed with a thousand years of freedom!”
I met someone this year who I was really clicking with. We dated for a couple months. She has a lot of the things I've been looking for (able to communicate honestly even in tough situations, sensitive like myself, very deep, open and transparent). We connected deeply very quickly (in fact, too deeply and too quickly).
I am going through a very tough time at the moment as I have Multiple Sclerosis and it has been rapidly worsening, taking away the things I love, and leaving me in significant pain around the clock. I have significant depression given the pain and loss. I am about to get high dose chemo and a bone marrow transplant which will eat up most of my summer.
The intensity of what I am going through was hard for her to handle. I noticed her avoiding some of the realities of what I was going through medically and brought it up since it made me uncomfortable. This was triggering for her. She disappeared on me one morning without saying anything or leaving a note for the better part of a day. I thought she was gone. Then she called and was extremely worried that I was "distancing myself" from her, which was frustrating since it felt to me like she was the one distancing herself. We talked through it and she mentioned that she has a disorganized attachment style - elements of anxious and avoidant. I think after that we understood each other, repaired things, and got to a better place.
As my depression and pain got worse though, she told me she was noticing herself getting sad/depressed from it and that she had to end things with me.
I do think we were too intensely connected too fast and spending too much time together, and that we would have been better spending a little less time together as it's hard in the first few months of dating to go through something intense with someone. She said she wished she had better boundaries and it sounded like she felt the same way. I was sad and disappointed that she chose to just end it with me rather than talking through those better boundaries.
Anyways, I got a call from her this week and wasn't sure if it was an accidental dial or if she was trying to reconnect. I didn't call back, then got a message from her today saying how much she misses me and that the reasons she was struggling/sad/depressed didn't have anything to do with me. And that she wanted to take a risk on sharing how she felt and reconnecting.
I am a little conflicted here because on some level she seems to have a lot of the things I'm looking for in a partner, she's open and honest with me in a refreshing way, and with respect to areas that she has work to do she seems to be taking ownership of them (albeit sometimes taking some time to come to do so, which can leave me hanging in bad situations). She told me she hasn't had partners who are open/expressive in the past and that with me being more emotionally open she is learning and being challenged to grow. On some level it sounds like she is learning from these experiences. Hopefully I'm not being naïve there.
On the other hand, I am feeling protective of myself. I know that I've now been hurt by her twice and feel nervous that we'll get into a situation like one of the above again where she disappears on me because something gets too intense, and then suddenly wants to reconnect. I am also aware that our time together was very short and repairing this sort of rupture is challenging in a longer-lived relationship, let alone a one of a few months.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. I think writing this helped me clarify my own thoughts but I still feel somewhat conflicted here.
I've completed the companions quest but i still wanted to get the vampire/werewolf hybrid. I had beastform equipped then i talked to Serena to transform me into a vampire and activated beastform at the same time. I'm now just a werewolf that can't run, jump, open my inventory and magic, or revert back. People don't get scared of me either, i can fast travel if i use the quest to appear on the map but it doesn't change anything. Skyrim has deleted all my recent saves up until i was a prisoner and I don't know what else to do. It doesn't look like anyone else has had this problem either and Iv'e been trying to fix it for a few hours. I play on ps4 so I can't use console commands to try and fix it either, no mtter how long i wait, or reload my saves, it doesn't get fixed.Please help:(
Well, technically yun na yung post pero for further context. So papaikliin ko lang to kasi galit ako eh, may crush ako na babae tas kwento ko muna yung, in my head, na very romantic way ng pag-amin ko na sobrang proud pa ako kasi pumayag. So, alam niyo yung parang anonymous shit sa fb? Yung may messages tas anonymous, nagconfess ako dun sabi paenglish english pa some wattpad level shit. So sabi ko sa message, "may bf or gf ka na ba? Would you be interested in a coffee date?" Tapos nagreply siya in a form of a story na, "Chat ka pag-isipan ko" then nagreply ako sa personal account sa mess so sabi ko, "How does Starbucks sa [Location] sound?".Tas di nagreply for like 5 hours which was a very torturous 5 hours tapos pumayag.
Fast forward nasa Starbucks na kami tas bumili ng coffee tapos nag-uusap kami. Initially maganda yung takbo ng usapan, tapos sinasabi ko na nagulat ako na pumayag siya and then tinanong ko siya kung para san yung isang cryptic story ng kaibigan niya tungkol sa kanya (Before confession to probably a stalker era, not in a creepy way) and then badabing badaboong nasa usapan na ng crush niya na
please read in the most sarcastic way possible
na; mayaman, responsible, nakapundar ng condo sa ganoong edad, kung gaano kamature. Tas nireject daw siya nun initially kasi long distance raw pero somehow somewhat my feelings parin daw sa kanya. Minsan na lang magkacompetition sa ganun pa fucking hell.
After that nainis na ako tapos made every attempts na matapos yung date kasi clearly wala siyang interes for another person in her life and I was friendzoned , crazy my time pa nun na minsan mixed signal siya after this pero di ko na kukwento. We are still good "conversation people" every now and then pero all forms of interest flew out the window that day.
I've tried googling this and not gotten many answers, just how to prevent it in the future, not immediately after.
Here's my example: let's say I eat some fast food. McDonald's combo meal, a big drink. I crash hard after, feeling very tired. What do I do after to help get my energy levels back to normal? Is there a food I should eat, should I chug water, etc?
Even though this post is about weed, I just want to point out that I finally found the amount that I need to smoke to get the same feeling that 1g of cubes give me. I want you to compare the perfect high from weed to the zone you reach with shrooms. Could there be a level, for both, where your brain is activated in the same way to have thoughts freely entering like an unstoppable train into your mind?
I'm a hallucinogen guy, but I've never been a fan of marijuana, and I've never understood what the hype was all about. So every once in a blue moon, I try some in an attempt to understand it all. Tonight just hit different and now I know.
I feel like these words in my head are profound, but I guess we'll see for sure tomorrow when I look at this post again.
So, here are all the thoughts that stood out enough to type out while I'm high:
Most of my problems are because I go too far. Squeezing pimples? No, I have too squeeze extra hard to make sure and end up ruining my skin. Argument? No, I have to hang on to my stance even when I realise I may be wrong, at least till the argument is over. Smoking a joint? No, I have to smoke till I'm fried. What have I been doing?
Also, why do I have to be medicated to feel more empathetic?
Found my own answer: then I can more easily confront my mistakes, since the ego has been temporarily contained. I don't need to go that fabe so intense.
Most skills are so easily theoretically acquired that they seem obvious once a demonstration has been shown. Yet, a skill has not truly been learnt unless application of it becomes the default. It is in the application of skills by the student that the master should show pride in his student, not by simple recall of instructions.
Dad: to teach a toddler how to speak, teach them how to read you. Model correct behavior and then narrate what the child is doing as they repeat the behavior.
If tonight goes well, I should know that 3 puffs is the magic number where I have creative thought, but still enough memory to regale it long enough to pen it down. (Without too much editing or embellishing)
This mind is sharper than its default/normal state, because it is still clear.
People underestimate the importance of standard dosage. Everyone thinks they should go higher.
When you feel that you have just enough reflexes to correct your erroneous movements fast enough to immitate sobriety, you are on the standard dosage.
At the right dosage, none of your movements are gratuitous. You are also more willing to admit errors.
If you use your substance to the point where you become too lazy or incapable to do chores, you overdid it.
What is your purpose? To get in the right headspace or to show off? The standard gets you there, but you still feel in control. So, the question is really, do you want a good trip (where creative thoughts flow freely) or do you want to lose control?
Do you want to get wasted or enlightened?
To be enlightened means to experience ego death. For me, that is 3 deep tokes.
Chips is the poor man's lettuce.
That plumbing issue in the bathroom is just trapped air in the pipes.
Why do you think so many if the shamans, sages and gurus used substances? It was the trusty way to get to ego-death.
Do you want to reach ecstacy, reach Nirvana, or get severely anxious (body out of homeostasis, which literally means you have disease)?
Lord Buddha attained the level of Nirvana in Bodh Gaya while meditating under the Bodhi Tree ...that was no fig tree...
I am experiencing Nirvana. I just looked up the four stages of Nirvana and it all makes so much sense. Stage 1, Stream Enterer.
"The first stage is Stream Enterer or Sotappana . Sotappana means “ one who enters the streams ”. One who entered this stage are said to open the eye of the Dharma . When you become a stream enterer , you became free from the desire and rituals, and don’t have identity issues and can become one with the mind and the eye.
The second stage of Enlightenment is Once-Returner or Sakadagami . Sakadagami literally means one who once comes . Once-Returner and Stream Enterer are said to be free from the 3 fetters of Enlightenment . The three fetters are self-illusion, doubt, and attachment to rituals and rule . Once-Returner have weakened the other three fetters of Enlightenment i.e. lust, ill will , and desire of fine material ."
After that quote, it's all that stuff abour karma and rebirth which does not appeal to me as a believer in science. Just realized that, not only did I reach Nirvana tonight, I basically discovered what it means in my head without ever having read about it before.
Is any of this stuff resonating with any of you guys?
What are stoned, fried and baked? You're just putting yourself in a diseased state. You may also cause psychosis.
Whatever state you choose, and whichever substance you like to use, I'm telling you, Buddha was high on his own stuff.
My stuff I'm on tonight: 3 deep tokes of medicinal weed, a shot of whiskey and a beer, residual caffeine, aripiprazole, fluvoxamine, and lamotragine.
Is this just a manic episode or did I really reach ego death with weed? omfg
Any else feel like they are leveling crazy fast in the beginning? I'm on WT1, just trying to do the stuff in Fractured Peaks and I'm already level 23 with no dungeons cleared, 15/35 side quests, and only the story part of the Black Lake completed.