My (34F) partner (34M) have been together for 2.5yrs, just got married. Yesterday we got into a fight for the 1st time in 3 months (after a streak of many back to back fights and both of us doing more individual therapy to work on our end of the issues). We otherwise get along really well but there is 1 trigger for me that has been insurmountable in terms of not getting angry about. The short of it is we were at a bar w/friends to celebrate his last day of a dreaded job and I observed him doing a double take at 2 women. When I mentioned it (b/c he asked me to bring things to him right away when I get worried) he very dismissively said "why are we here? to celebrate right?" and turned away to talk to his buddy. The reason I have these insecurities at least in part has to do w/several episodes of him being dishonest to me early on in our dating. He had still had dating apps on his phone 3 months into us being exclusive and was texting girls flirtatiously (inviting them on dates) until I confronted him. We went to couples counseling and there were little moments. In the car on the way to the event he also mentioned that a female coworker had texted him that day and they were going to meet up during the week to discuss his experience at the company over zoom. While the nature of their conversation as he showed me wasn't concerning, it still added to my anxiety at the bar. We argued in the car, and I sat in the car for a while while he went upstairs home. I realized he had gone to bed and being an anxious attached person, I felt like I needed to resolve the conflict or else couldn't sleep so I woke him up to talk about it. Basically I was questioning him a lot, and he kept denying that he did any double takes or that he even recalled seeing any women. I found this hard to believe so i brought up my difficulty trusting him due to past dishonesty, including one I had not unveiled to him about how I discovered he lied about regarding a female friend from years past .. I think I said something like "why is it that there's a discrepancy between what you said and what I read" and he flipped out. He started punching himself in the head really hard, and in the chest, and he grabbed me when I tried to comfort him and forced me to sit back down. I was really scared and reminded him that his therapist advised me him not to do that to himself. He then said "you know what else he told me, that it's really interesting that you have empathy for me in these marathon fights when I start hitting myself" implying that it takes this degree of inflicting pain on him for me to feel satisfied that he too is as upset with me. While this was hurtful to hear, I tried to process whether it was subconsciously true and honestly, I think why I pause from arguing in those moments and focus on calming him down is because i get really scared. Last night was the worst. He has a big bump on his face now, and a few small ones on his forehead. He said its my fault he hits himself and I told him that's manipulative to say and he did it some more. I asked him if I am causing so much pain why are we together and he said "you're the only person that'l l love me" I heard that to mean no one else will bother w/him to which I said "you are worthy f love from anyone and can receive it from others than me" and he said I Was twisting his words and what he meant was that no one has loved him this genuinely and that he loves me. I am scared of future fights like this. I want to promise I'll never get worried about moments involving other women but it is a huge trigger for me due to the past w/him that I am trying to overcome. I told him that this really scares me and he said my verbal arguing with him is just as abusive and i need to acknowledge that it is. I really don't know what to do but I'm scared for him mostly, and then myself. He has a history of depressive mood so idk if this is related. Tl'dr: My parter hits himself during heated fights and it's scaring me

hey there i hope you're doing fine i'll first share configs & .env file so we can be in the same page https://pastecord.com/epicewadac.php so i have an issue when Authenticating my first level spa with sanctum, in the docs they mentioned to firstly make a request to `sanctum/csrf-cookie`, i do that onMounted in vue, 1) i get the csrfCookie and put it in header for the next request with fetch interceptor 2) when i try to login or register, it depends on which routes i call `web.php or api.php` > at first i had everything inside the api.php; the register worked with the csrf and everything, but the login returns an error; ('Session store not set in request'); i understand the difference between stateful & stateless, mainly it has to do with the session cookie; i had the idea to switch to web.php (following GIO's tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPKd3q-iaVs&t=417s&pp=ygUoc2Vzc2lvbiBiYXNlZCBhdXRoZW50aWNhdGlvbiBsYXJhdmVsIHNwYQ%3D%3D) now both the register & login return a csrf mismatch , even when i send the csrf cookie in header as 'X-XSRF-TOKEN' as recommended in the docs here's my repo https://github.com/Hamza-KhiaUptime-Monitotree/main/backEnd

According to a website I found we need 1000 hours of industry plus 120 hours of theory for a total of 1120 hour to climb the first step.
Most places require a class 4 atleast to work there. So knowing this, I guess I need to find a place that does not even require a class 4 or accepts to sponsor me in some way?
Are there any obvious opportunities I might be missing? Note that I am open to relocating or fly in fly out kinda thing. I normally reside on Montreal island.
Thank you for reading.

I'm terrified.
I guess I'm writing this in part to see if anyone has any insight for how the last remaining two months should be addressed and also warning people getting into grad school to ensure they ask their peers the hard questions before starting their grad studies to ensure they have supportive PIs (there are supportive PIs out there, I've seen them).
I feel like I am racing against a ticking bomb that's going to explode. I feel like I am in a race to write (something that takes me a bit longer) my thesis. Along with this I wanted to do a last experiment but my PI ripped apart my procedure and mentioned additional things I should be looking at. They weren't wrong (could have been nicer about it like always) but I wanted to do a more high-level investigation to suggest it was possible, and then my idea was that the next student can do a more detailed investigative approach. The thing is I'm not sure if I have time to carry out those additional things (add on a week more of analysis), so now I'm debating not carrying out the experiment at all due to time (although not sure if that's even an option).
All this anxiety came to a climax, when I had a nightmare last night (don't remember the exact details) but I felt the anxiety of racing against a deadline. I am living every day and now night dreading it, and I'm so tired. These last two years, I've come out of every meeting feeling worse about myself as I sit there and feel like my work/ideas get ripped to shreds. I get that this is an aspect of furthering education, but it's definitely hitting my self-esteem as I feel I am not worthy being here, which in turn over these past few years made it challenging to motivate myself to continue working. But I've gotten through it and I'm still doing my graduate studies. I also pride myself in my ability to read body language (in a way confirmed with guessing my peers feelings about certain situations that was later confirmed) and I feel like my PI does not respect me. The only thing that's been keeping me going are my grad school friends and now the idea that I'm almost done. Also, if you're a PI reading this, please give some positive feedback or at least sandwich approach it. It's depressing to consistently work more than 9 to 5 only to get kicked back down. Apologies for turning this into a rant session.

Hello everyone! I spend a lot of time on the internet because of work, so I thought hey, why not try a subreddit like this one! I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I'm a very chill down to earth guy. Everything in life interests me, that's not so good for my focus, but it is nice because that means that there's surely atleast something that we have in common that we can talk about! I love getting to know new people, online and irl. When I'm not behind the computer I'm usually hiking through the woods, or being a couch potato binging the latest show on netflix

My (34F) partner (34M) have been together for 2.5yrs, just got married. Yesterday we got into a fight for the 1st time in 3 months (after a streak of many back to back fights and both of us doing more individual therapy to work on our end of the issues). We otherwise get along really well but there is 1 trigger for me that has been insurmountable in terms of not getting angry about. The short of it is we were at a bar w/friends to celebrate his last day of a dreaded job and I observed him doing a double take at 2 women. When I mentioned it (b/c he asked me to bring things to him right away when I get worried) he very dismissively said "why are we here? to celebrate right?" and turned away to talk to his buddy. The reason I have these insecurities at least in part has to do w/several episodes of him being dishonest to me early on in our dating. He had still had dating apps on his phone 3 months into us being exclusive and was texting girls flirtatiously (inviting them on dates) until I confronted him. We went to couples counseling and there were little moments. In the car on the way to the event he also mentioned that a female coworker had texted him that day and they were going to meet up during the week to discuss his experience at the company over zoom. While the nature of their conversation as he showed me wasn't concerning, it still added to my anxiety at the bar.
We argued in the car, and I sat in the car for a while while he went upstairs home. I realized he had gone to bed and being an anxious attached person, I felt like I needed to resolve the conflict or else couldn't sleep so I woke him up to talk about it. Basically I was questioning him a lot, and he kept denying that he did any double takes or that he even recalled seeing any women. I found this hard to believe so i brought up my difficulty trusting him due to past dishonesty, including one I had not unveiled to him about how I discovered he lied about regarding a female friend from years past .. I think I said something like "why is it that there's a discrepancy between what you said and what I read" and he flipped out.
He started punching himself in the head really hard, and in the chest, and he grabbed me when I tried to comfort him and forced me to sit back down. I was really scared and reminded him that his therapist advised me him not to do that to himself. He then said "you know what else he told me, that it's really interesting that you have empathy for me in these marathon fights when I start hitting myself" implying that it takes this degree of inflicting pain on him for me to feel satisfied that he too is as upset with me. While this was hurtful to hear, I tried to process whether it was subconsciously true and honestly, I think why I pause from arguing in those moments and focus on calming him down is because i get really scared. Last night was the worst. He has a big bump on his face now, and a few small ones on his forehead. He said its my fault he hits himself and I told him that's manipulative to say and he did it some more.
I asked him if I am causing so much pain why are we together and he said "you're the only person that'l l love me" I heard that to mean no one else will bother w/him to which I said "you are worthy f love from anyone and can receive it from others than me" and he said I Was twisting his words and what he meant was that no one has loved him this genuinely and that he loves me.
I am scared of future fights like this. I want to promise I'll never get worried about moments involving other women but it is a huge trigger for me due to the past w/him that I am trying to overcome. I told him that this really scares me and he said my verbal arguing with him is just as abusive and i need to acknowledge that it is. I really don't know what to do but I'm scared for him mostly, and then myself. He has a history of depressive mood so idk if this is related.
Tl'dr: My parter hits himself during heated fights and it's scaring me

I don't give up easily. And I know some will say never say never. But I think the type that says that nothing will convince then except for Bible is someone I can't change and will cut them from my life.
For example I'm bi. If nothing can convince you that I'm not gonna brainwash your kids or that my gay friend isn't a pedo, I definitely don't want you in my life.
You also have a brain rot if you think you don't need the scientific evidence to tell you what's harmful or not.
I've met really stupid people who use Bible to justify hitting their kids. I don't care if you think it's not abuse. All the evidence show spanking doesnt work. personal anecdotes of I spanked my kid and he never did a bad thing again. Good for you. You got lucky.
On a side note, religious parents are one of the most authoritarian parents. "see kids these days! They need the fear of God!" Doesn't matter which god. I've seen the pattern.

I'm 28M, she is 28F.
I want to vent as objectively as possible about our relationship to help me process through it. Sorry if this comes off as a big ramble.
Hurt does not describe the absolute crushing pain and disrespect I feel from the one person who I thought loved me.
We were together for 10 years from 18 to 28. Highschool sweethearts. So much and so little has happened in those years. We had a far from normal relationship. We were each others first real relationship and first everything basically.
We've gone through highschool together, college, navigating through our 20's moving up in our careers, bought a house, and were planning on getting married next year.
We've had a lot of problems since the beginning.
She was always insecure. Always seeking validation, during our relationship and even before we were together in highschool.
In the first 1-3 years, she was constantly building relationships with co-workers and developing crushes. I've found out one way or another whether it was direct messages she was having with them and hiding or her talking with her friends about them. She's stayed with the same company but has moved to different stores and there was always someone she would start crushing on no matter where she was. There has been about 4-5 different guys this has happened with. I know, dumb of me to stay and give her that many chances but love makes you do stupid things I guess. From what I know she did not do anything physical with any of them and was more so flirting conversations. This is a reoccurring theme of our relationship from year 1 to today.
Sex has also been an issue for us since those early years as we were not having sex or anything as often as I would have like and she never wanted too. We would have sex about once every 1-1.5 months. It was less of me trying to fuck and more so wanting to make love and just overall loving her in that way. It was always pretty basic. Nothing extra spicy. This coupled with her talking to guys hurt because all I wanted was more of her and she was giving time and energy to someone else.
During all these times, she was always projecting onto me, accusing me of talking to someone since that's what she was doing so I must be too apparently. She was wrong at first until I did seek out someone.
Eventually being hurt enough by this, instead of leaving I found a stranger online I was talking too. This went from being just someone to talk and vent about this stuff with to sending nudes etc. I know I'm not perfect here either.
She found out and this put a massive dent in our relationship with the already existing insecurities. I believe all these insecure issues shes always had with me stemmed from her and what she was doing and for some reason nothing she did was ever the issue and she made it known that I was the bad guy and I ruined us. She would hold this against me for years and could never fully trust me. Constant accusations. Always thinking I'm up to something no matter what I was doing.
Years 4-6.
She has a very normal/average typical family life. Nothing crazy, no drama.
My life has been the complete opposite. Very dramatic. My family had a falling out. I got kicked out of my home and her family took me in to live with them. I am so thankful and love her parents/family for taking me in as their own when my parents didn't want. They've done so much for me/us.
We both wanted me to live with them but this "forced" us together. This meant all those insecurities and issues we had basically never got fully address and we were never able to work through them.
We lived with her parents for 1 year, and decided to skip the apartment life and jump into buying a home. This took another year until we were moved into our home together.
Years 6-10.
We lived in this home for 4 years. Navigating living on our own together. Responsibilities of homeownership. This was supposed to be a fresh start for us. All these issues we had were supposed to be left behind us. I suppose that's hard when we never addressed them in the first place.
Im not perfect. I had my issues too. She holds against me cheating, being abusive, and having drinking problems.
I've mentioned my cheating.
The abusive part I am torn on. I am not defending myself because what I did was wrong. I was half asleep and she came angrily waking me up again accusing me of something. I woke up confused and became black out angry with how built up these accusations were and i realzied thats what this was about. I got so mad I pushed her and had my hands pushing on her on the floor. We've talked about this and she realized I was wrong for that but understood my reaction after realizing how the situation played out. I've never put my hands on her again since.
Drinking. I like to come home and have 1 beer. When I'm out with my friends, I do drink too much. I've passed out before at friends houses. I've never done anything wrong while drunk imo other than being too drunk with my friends and passing out or not texting her the whole time. Enjoying my time with them she would be upset when I'm not constantly talking/texting her.
I'm having so much trouble believing whether what I am/was doing was so wrong or if she's putting the blame of our failing relationship on me and ignoring everything she has done that has gotten us here while she continues to entertain other men.
She also did not have a lot of friends. She left her highscool friends when we got together. She has one girl friend from year 1 that was a coworker. That friend was also cheating on her bf at the time. So they were playing this game together.
She felt like she lost herself and who she was because we lived through my life, my friends, my family.
2 years into living together I thought things were going well. She started therapy and is still going for a year now today. I couldn't handle spiraling whether she was still doing things with guys at work or not and speculating. I decided to trust her and I genuinely did. She stopped seeing her original girl friend for a while once we moved in but reconnected and started hanging out with more Coworkers too. Whatever, I trusted her and thought we were past all those things.
Even through all of this, I proposed to her 2 years ago. We were supposed to get married next year.
6 months ago our house caught on fire.
We're in the middle of rebuilding. I work in the building industry so I've been managing all of it. We lost everything, all of our stuff, and our cat weve had forever. We moved back into her parents house together.
You can imagine how stressful this has been.
Since being at her parents, I now realize she was projecting her own actions again. She kept saying how she was worried about me "falling back into old ways" when in reality she has been developing a crush and building a relationship with intent to fuck this new coworker. She told me February is when she started talking about this extensively in therapy so this has been going on for months now.
She broke up with me 1 month ago.
We went on a trip to NY. Me not knowing this would be our last everything and she knew she was leaving.
The second we got home she told me to pack my stuff and leave because she "needed space".
In less than 10 minutes my life fell apart.
We officially broke up a few days after.
The next week we were supposed to take engagement photos on her birthday. Instead she went on a date with her new coworker interest.
She officially told me about her crush for him last night that was developing. This breakup was supposed to be her "learning about herself" "being on her own, being by herself". Yet she's been brewing and building this relationship with this guy. This guy is 10 years older. Her original girlfriend also has a man that is older and I firmly believe her flying monkeys contributed to this.
He's broken, suicidal, has a kid, and a whole lot more baggage. All of the guys shes talked to including me are broke. She bonded over his trauma while I was trying to rebuild our life. She was so stressed about our living situation being back at her parents, one day she came home and said she'd rather be at work than home with me and i realize now shed rather be at work with him than trying to be there for me when I'm also struggling.
The wedding is canceled. We're fully broken up. I thought we were past all of this and never thought we'd go through this same scenario at this point in our lives. I thought we were better. After 10 years and everything, she ended this the same way it started.
She kicked me out with no where to go in no time. While living at her parents. While I work on rebuilding our home and life. While working on our wedding. A week before our engagement photos. All to go through the same exact cheattling scenario that got us here and idk why I'm surprised.
She doesn't believe she was cheating but she was building this relationship with intention.
There's no right way to breakup but this was absolutely wrong and seeing everything as a whole, is so completely fucked, I'm so disrespected, beyond hurt. After 10 years idk who she is anymore. I should have left a while ago but our life events put us together.
I never thought someone who loved you and wanted to get married could do something so evil.
Idk how to end this but thank you for reading if you did. I hope it makes sense and not just a ramble. Owning the house together makes moving on harder and I'm afraid once we get closer to finishing, she might realize by then how fucked this situation is. Maybe the grass isn't greener. And she knows the house is tying us together and might come back. But I can't after how this unfolded.
I hope she finds what she's looking for in him. Or she is actually able to work in herself. Part of me doesn't think she's capable of actually owning up to anything and actually being self aware enough to evaluate our 10 years.
Idk. I'm working through it. Thank you.

June 2023 ningenisu Subreddit User's Guide

Lyric excerpt (machine-translated) from this month's featured song, Nijuuisseiki no Fu-chi-ku (二十一世紀の瘋痴狂; The 21st Century Hoochie Koo)

(via DeepL.com translation)

We ride by the fields in the moonlit night Ask the horse where we're going Into the shadow of a windmill Wielding a noble spear
From the land of dreams I came to spread my dream
The insane man of the 21st century Insane man of the 21st century The insane man of the 21st century Take the world in your stride, insanity

 

Excerpt from a review: More Pleasant Than Any Dove's Coo. - 80%

 

The title track "Nijuuichi Seiki No Hoochie Koo" definitely sets you up for what you're going to experience for most of this album. The entire song has a swinging groove to it, which Shinji Wajima's vocal rhythms help pump into a cool rhythm. The track, like much of this album, has some REALLY spectacular harmonies and backing vocals to help enhance the overall feeling and mood of it. Even though Wajima has lead vocals on the song, it's really Kenichi Suzuki and Nobu Nakajima that harmonize to make the chorus so catchy. The song also ends with a really old school sounding solo from Wajima that hearkens to a style long gone.

 

Some tips on finding information in the subreddit:

The Ningen Isu Listening Club kicked off in January 2022

A project to listen to the Ningen Isu discography, in order.
Ningen Isu Listening Club Project

You may find these Meta-threads useful

Thread	Description
Hidoi Buta no Jigoku (ひどい豚の地獄) Album Threads Compilation (v2)	First Pass Album Threads Compilation
For Fans Of (FFO) Threads Compilation	Compilation of the 'For Fans Of' posts (Searching using the "For Fans Of" flair may provide current results)

 

You can search for specific types of threads by Post Flair

You can search for posts with a specific Post Flair several ways:

• By adding 'flair:(flair name)' to the search terms in the search window.
• By clicking on the desired Post Flair found on a thread or on the Post Flair list in the sidebar (New Reddit and Mobile Reddit only).
• Or you can use some of the pre-configured search links below.

Post Flair	Description
Discover	Search for posts that will help Discover things about the band
Top 10	Search for member-contributed Top 10 Song lists
For Fans Of	Search for member-contributed posts recommending songs "For Fans of" ... something.
Fan Art	Search for Fan Art posts

 
List of available Post Flairs
 

Some other threads that may be of interest

Thread	Description
Lyrics Translations - All Albums	Thread for all things lyrics
Ningen Isu full concerts	Some Ningen Isu full shows found online
EU TOUR 2020 Thread	Thread for 2020 EU tour discussion
NINGEN ISU 101	Primer on Ningen Isu
Reactions Compilation Thread #5	Link to last Reactions to Ningen Isu thread (Approach to Reactions currently being revisited)
March 2023 Subreddit User's Guide	Last month's Subreddit User's Guide post

 

You can also explore the subreddit wiki (a work-in-progress) which contains a mish-mash of Ningen Isu information gathered over time.

 

Subreddit Stats

When	Subscribers
1st of last month	820
1st of this month	834
Last month	+14

 

Housekeeping

• Add any threads you think should be included in the comments. They may not be added to the main section, but will be easily accessible for anyone visiting this thread. Bonus virtual karma if you explain why you think it stands out.
  
• Also, if you come across Ningen Isu relevant threads in other subreddits, feel free to link them here in the comments or link them in a dedicated thread if you think it is warranted.
  

So I have a 10 month old baby and a SD 9. I’ve had her all week while SO is at work. I have pool passes for us so pretty much all week we’ve been going to the pool. I always go up there after noon because I don’t want my baby baking in the sun and he’s happiest after his first nap of the day. So I’m putting him down for his morning nap, SD is chilling in the living room. I asked her multiple times to turn the tv down. The baby kept crawling to the edge of the bed trying to see what she was doing because it was so loud. I got up 3 separate times to turn the tv down. Eventually I gave up on trying to give the baby a nap because I was only trying to get his nap in for SDs sake so she could swim. Went out to the living room asked for the remote and saw she turned it up once again once I left the room (I knew she did because I heard it i was just giving her the benefit of the doub). For reference to how loud she likes the tv…SO and I left her inside while out back one day and I came inside to my tv at a max 100 volume. So yeah her and volume is an issue. Anyway, I told her since she couldn’t be respectful that we were not going to the pool anymore and she ruined it for everyone(maybe harsh but shit I told her 3 times to keep it down and even set it where I wanted). BM calls at exactly that moment in time while SD is crying hysterically because I took the pool away. Here comes BM texting SO saying I’m bullying their daughter and she said daddy will protect you from SM. Apparently she was crying so hard that it couldn’t possibly be because I said no pool and that it was her own fault. First off it’s cringey to me to keep calling him daddy in first person I can’t stand that. Second offffff no I’m not bullying her it’s consequences for not listening to keep the tv down. I’m so done I don’t want to baby sit her anymore. I literally still ended up taking her simply because I still wanted to go to the pool 🙄

Christian organizations are calling on pastors across the country to stand up against the rise of Christian nationalism during their church services next weekend.
"Toxic Christian nationalism is the single biggest threat to both democracy and the church, and we pastors have a moral obligation to loudly oppose it as a dangerous hijacking of our faith," Reverend Nathan Empsall , Director of ‘Faithful America’ preached. "Unless we as Christians challenge this dangerous political ideology, its leaders will continue to twist our faith as they try to justify an agenda that is in actuality the antithesis of what Jesus taught: To love our neighbor and to care for the least among us.”
As reported in LGBQTNation, The "Preach and Pray to Confront Christian Nationalism" initiative is the latest event sponsored by Faithful America, an online community of progressive Christians that aim to combat the use of their faith being "hijacked" by the political right. The group recently protested a high-profile conservative speaker event in Miami, Florida, and has taken a public stand against several Republican politicians, including Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, who previously defended Christian nationalism, and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.
DeSantis’ own religious counselor, Tom Ascoll, of Grace Baptist Church, has preached the depravity of Leviticus by calling for the murder of gays.
(In that the Southern Baptist Convention has not condemned he and his words; one can only speculate they are in accord.)
White nationalism has been embraced by American fascists to appeal to the least among us. Street trash talking so-called pastors, hate-filled dullards so low on the social totem pole of polite society they will grasp at any message that makes them feel better about being the failures they’ve become, pandering politicians who are able stir up hatred among the loners and losers because of the prejudice and ignorance of the streets and back alleys, and hypocritical evangelicals who profess to love Jesus, but do the work of the devil, are all looking for validation of their hatred, and under the guise of patriotism spew their venom -- mostly for personal gain.
It been said, when tyranny comes it will be marching behind a cross.
Faithful America's newest initiative is aimed at taking a stand within the church, calling on pastors to "warn against effort to conflate Christian and American identities" while leading service on June 11.
What will your Priest, Pastor, or Reverend, have to say about the subject? Will the message be one of tolerance and love, or the gleeful acceptance of the sins of heresy and denial of true Christian belief?
While contemplating this, consider exactly which message you want to hear.

So I’ve recently started working and although this doesn’t really apply to me yet I want to start to get an understanding of the basics as in my head there’s two ways I’m sort of thinking of how it works
The first way is theoretically you have a 40k annual salary which according to the money smart tax calculator you’ll pay $4142 in tax which gets deducted from the pay slip every week. Then let’s say you have 3 grand in tax deductible expenses (don’t know if that’s a lot or not) when you lodge that does mean you get that 3 grand back as ur tax refund
or is it the second way where that 3 grand is deducted from ur 40k salary to make it theoretically 37k annual salary which the calculator says u pay 3572 in taxes then the refund is the difference between 4142 and 3572 which is 570.
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense but thought this sub could help me get a better understanding of the basics.

Hello everyone! I spend a lot of time on the internet because of work, so I thought hey, why not try a subreddit like this one! I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I'm a very chill down to earth guy. Everything in life interests me, that's not so good for my focus, but it is nice because that means that there's surely atleast something that we have in common that we can talk about! I love getting to know new people, online and irl. When I'm not behind the computer I'm usually hiking through the woods, or being a couch potato binging the latest show on netflix

I've been using my Bolt for years and never had as much problems as I'm having now.
Live Track is completely unusable, it stops to update the location mid-ride. After the ride, auto-upload does not work anymore. The iOS companion app does not recognize the completed ride until it's restarted.
The latest firmware update did delete the last routes I've created on Komoot. (They were there yesterday, gone today after the update. Older Komoot routes still showed up). Sadly, I noticed this only a few minutes into my ride. Now, I was unable to get the companion app to transfer the route to the Bolt ("Unable to create route"). Only thing that did work was exporting the .gpx from Komoot and import using the ELEMNT app. Did loose all navigation hints however. In addition to that, the Bolt failed to find my iPhone hotspot, even after restart. (Hotspot compatibility enabled).
Pretty disappointing experience the last two days. Thought about upgrading to Bolt v2 or Roam multiple times - But not anymore.

Hey everyone , I am a student from dubai who has just finished the icse curriculum . I am undecided as to a 3rd HL to take in the IBDP . I am sure of taking math aa and economics however I am not sure of my 3rd HL . Both my parents and I are keen on me taking computer science HL however I did not do CS in grade 9 and grade 10 . Would it still be possible for me to take computer science hl if I catch up over the summer by doing JAVA ? , in general what is the difficulty of comp sci hl and would a beginner be able to do it .
PS:I am a good hard working student , I am interested in finance and love mathematics :)

I am active duty and have a retirement decision to make. I have the choice of “retiring” in 2 years, or accepting a promotion and retiring in 4-5 years. The promotion and additional 2-3 years of service would increase the lifetime cumulative value of my pension by roughly 350k in today's dollars. That starts at about $1,400 more per month and will also increase with cost of living adjustments over time. I will be in my late 40s and will probably pursue a second career for 5-10 years. But maybe even part time or one that does not pay a high income.
I have never owned a home, and after years of renting and moving from duty station to duty station we are anxious to finally settle somewhere and purchase a home upon retirement. For 20+ years we diligently saved and invested, but have watched the purchasing power of the down payment we've accumulated be destroyed by housing inflation. Our goal is to pay mostly cash for a house in a medium to high cost of living area and have a very small 15 year mortgage while retired.
I'm concerned that by staying in longer, housing will only get more expensive and the end result is us being further from our goal of purchasing a home. Basically working and saving more to only end up paying more. For example; if homes that are worth $600k appreciate by 3.5% per year over 3 years, those homes could be priced at almost $700k when it's time for us to purchase. It's scary to think they could be close to $1.0 million with another round of QE or a prolonged inflationary period similar to the 1970s. Even with 3.5% per year home appreciation, if we aren't saving/investing 20k per year the cost of housing is outpacing our saving/investing rate, and we are even further behind. (33k at 5.0%, and 45k at 7%). Our housing fund is a conservative allocation of broad market index funds, precious metals, REITs, T-Bills, I-Bonds, CDs, and cash. What asset allocation should be used for either time horizon?
Any recommendations on how to think about this decision or how to tackle this are appreciated. I would love to retire sooner rather than later to settle and buy a house, but in the big scheme of things this may be “tripping over dollars to pick up pennies”.

Fourth and final part at the same time tomorrow.
Previous Chapter - Read 10 weeks ahead on Patreon - Read the story so far on Royal Road
*
Chapter Twelve - The Blacksmith's Boy (Part Three)
​
Clouds. Black, moving, twisting like rope. His head ached. His blood was hot as flame. Fire flashed in the clouds, and the old stormtower gleamed. The Old Man stared back at him from the gloom, eyes carving at his skin. You could have warned me. He taunted him. Smoke bled around his shoulders, and his skin melted away. Cal tried to look away, but it was too late. The fire was on him, and the sky filled his eyes with black water, smothering his breath.
*
He gasped, pain searing down his spine, and choked on his own breath, spluttering.
‘Get him up.’
‘I’ve got him.’
Lokk’s voice. Cal felt a hand curling underneath one of his arms, lifting his aching jaw off the floorboards. Pain shot down his back again, and he cried out, eyes spinning. Then there was another hand beneath him, and he was lifted groaning away from the floor. They lowered him carefully into a chair, and he fell against it, skin stinging, panting through gritted teeth.
‘What happened to him?’
‘Had a wolf at ‘im, by the looks of it!’
‘Don’t be a fool! No wolves in these woods.’
‘Believe in magic, but not in wolves?’
Cal groaned again.
‘Shut it, all of you!’
Cal blinked again, and the Innkeep’s rosy cheeks coalesced into the air before his eyes, looking down at him worriedly. Lokk was at his shoulder, wide-eyed, his mop of lank hair hanging loosely over his forehead. Someone had put the door to, and it was suddenly very quiet. Cal took a breath.
‘What happened, boy?’ The Innkeep asked him. Beyond his shoulders, Cal could see the faces of a half-dozen patrons, blinking back at him with wide eyes. All except Old Godry, who looked mildly irritated. Outside, the storm wailed helplessly against the thatching, and thunder rumbled against the hills, more distant, now. Cal held his breath, craning his ears. But the footsteps were gone. He swallowed.
‘There were…’ He hesitated, glancing towards the door. ‘I… fell.’
‘Down half the Teeth by the looks of it!’ Lokk pointed at his arms. ‘What were you doing out in this?’
Cal blinked, looking down. His arms were crisscrossed with dozens of bloody cuts, and his shirt was hanging off him in strings. He frowned, shrugging, and then winced as fire raced over his skin, and fell back against the chair, gasping.
‘Thought… Thought I had time to get back.’
‘Damned fool.’ Carel told him, appearing beside her father. She had a pail of steaming water under one arm, and a bundle of rags in the other. ‘Got to clean those before they rot.’
‘I’m fi-’
‘That’s enough talking.’ The Innkeep told him. ‘Or I’ll want coin for the cloth.’
Cal thought better of arguing.
‘Saw a fair few mugs go over.’ The Innkeep turned towards the rest of the room, smiling reassuringly. ‘I’ll fetch a new barrel. This one’s on the house.’
A few grumbles of approval from the assembled regulars. They were all watching him. He could feel their eyes on him, prying, poking. Sensible boys know better than to go wandering in a storm. They’d always thought the Blacksmith’s stray was cracked. Same as his master. Godry seemed to have let his irritation go at the promise of free ale, but Cal spotted the butcher’s brute of a son, Petr, sneering back at him over the rim of his mug. He lowered his eyes. They thought him mad. Maybe they were right. Behind his eyes, the shadows were still chasing him through endless trees, clawing at his heels. But the door stayed closed, and there was no sound beyond it but the storm. Maybe he was losing his mind.
‘Quite the show, that was.’ Lokk grinned as his father went off to find the barrel. Carel rolled her eyes, pulling up another chair and setting about dampening the cloth. ‘Barely seen you in weeks, then you show up all bloody an’ panting like a wolf that’s got in with the chickens? You always knew how to make an entrance.’
Cal grunted. He didn’t feel like explaining himself. Wasn’t sure he could, even if he did.
‘Scared off the new folk, too.’ Lokk nodded towards an empty table in the far corner of the room, scattered with discarded mugs.
Cal blinked. ‘What?’
‘Had some of Solen’s new hands in tonight.’ Lokk told him offhandedly, scratching his chin. ‘Quiet lot. Must have given them quite the fright. Saw themselves out sharpish.’
‘What did… hnngg.’ Cal clamped his teeth together with a groan as Carel pressed one of the rags against his bloody forearm.
‘Stay still.’ She told him, wiping the cloth slowly across his skin. It felt like someone was stripping his flesh with a wood plane. Cal clenched his jaw, forcing himself not to yelp. Lokk lounged idly against the bar beside him, sweeping his loose hair back from his forehead untidily.
‘Interrupted Godry, too.’ His friend went on, clearly unperturbed by his suffering. ‘Old goat hates being interrupted.’
Cal grunted again. The little clump of patrons seemed to have lost interest in him, now, turning back to their mugs as the Innkeep moved deftly through the tables, a little cask under his arm. Petr and his father were sitting glowering at no one in particular. Forley and his young wife Priss looked taken aback, and not the least bit shaken, by the unexpected turn of events the evening had taken, but the dour-faced miners beside them (whose names Cal did not know) seemed to have paid Cal’s entrance no heed at all. Old Godry was sitting patiently, firelight knotting over his scarred cheeks, waiting for his cue. Soon their mugs were full again, and the foolishness of the Blacksmith’s stray was quite forgotten. The Innkeep set the empty cask down somewhere behind the bar, and went off to find another barrel. Cal gritted his teeth as Carel went on with her work, eyes watering, and watched the villagers blur indifferently by the fire.
‘You weren’t finished, Godry.’ Albin, the butcher began, taking a long swig from his mug. ‘’bout to tell us how the wizard farted out his storm to save the savages.’
Cal saw Forley roll his eyes. ‘You know damned well where we were! Tell us about Arolf!’
Albin scowled, opening his mouth to retort, but Godry regained his composure in time to step in.
‘Aerolf, Forley.’ He corrected patiently.
‘Aerolf, then.’ The young shepherd agreed, rolling his eyes. ‘What happened next?’
‘Well, like I was saying, old King Talor’s already met his end, but them Northmen weren’t done yet. That beast Aerolf most of all.’ Godry began, lowering his voice and eyeing his audience conspiratorially. ‘He had a score to settle, see. This weren’t the kind of man to let a woman run from him, you understand.’
‘Serves him right.’ Albin grumbled. ‘Couldn’t keep her in his bed, even with a sword on her.’
The two miners snorted in agreement, and Petr just kept scowling. Cal flinched as Carel drew her rag over a particularly deep cut. He caught her eye reproachfully, and she smiled slyly.
‘Oops.’
She was very close, he realised, and he could feel the heat of her against his cut-thread skin. Another night, he might even have enjoyed it.
‘So there they was, dead King and all. Could of had the throne for hisself, right then.’ The old miner continued gravely. ‘But he was more animal than man. Mad as a beast, they say, big as a bear, covered head to toe in blood, cut up like an old buck. And this beast had a taste for blood.’
The little circle of villagers leaned a little closer in their seats, eyeing Godry eagerly. Cal realised he was listening along with them.
‘So off he goes, bloody magic blade in hand.’ Godry held out his hand like a blade, scowling at them over the fire. ‘He finds that place where old King Talor locked up his pretty young daughter. And what’d’you think he does when he finds it?’
‘Kills her.’ Forley whispered.
‘That’s right, boy.’ Godry nodded, dropping his arm. ‘Heard it said he clawed the tower door open with his bare hands. Dragged her out into that garden, butchered her right there in the grass, threw her off that big rock of theirs like an old ham. This weren’t a man you run from. If he couldn’t have her, no one could.’
‘How’d they kill him, then?’ Albin asked, frowning.
‘Well, see now. Northmen ain’t the only one with monsters.’ Godry said craftily, raising one patchwork brow. ‘Dekar’s a sharp one. He’d realised what was afoot, by now. Rallied the King’s Men, drove the scum back out of the King’s hall. Weren’t a man amongst them left standing, save the ones in the garden. But for Aerolf and them, he saved his best killer.’
‘The Bloodless.’ Forley murmured.
‘The Bloodless.’ Godry agreed. ‘Biggest woman you’ve ever seen. Big as a wagon, skin like blue snow. They say there’s nought but ice in them veins, and if you cut her, she don’t bleed.’
‘And I’ve got rocks for balls.’ Albin snorted.
‘Might as well, for all the good they do you.’ Godry snapped back at him. ‘But the Bloodless finds the traitor. Right there in that garden, all covered in the Princess’s blood. Cuts Aerolf down, throws him from the walls after her, him and his magic sword. Almost killed that Stonesplitter dog, too, whilst she were at it. Weren’t no easy thing though; gets her head cut open like a peach for its trouble. Should’ve died, right there. Would’ve, if not for those… other types Dekar had took up with.’
‘‘Least the traitor was dead.’
‘Aye, that he was. That Heartspire’s taller than a mountain. Say there weren’t nothing left of him but mulch, once he got to the bottom. Him and the princess both.’
‘Makers have mercy.’ Forley murmured, making the sign of the Nine over his breast. Even Albin took another mouthful of ale.
‘Weren’t no mercy. A beast don’t deserve none.’ Godry said soberly, following Forley and drawing a circle over his chest. ‘If he couldn’t ‘ave her, no one could.’
Cal barely heard them. He felt drained, as though the cuts had bled the weight from his bones. He floated just above his chair in a haze, and the roomed blurred and swayed as if through shallow water. Carel went about her work quietly, carefully, and the pain of it washed over him in raw waves, until the pail of water at her feet was stained an ugly pink.
‘Dekar had a plan though!’ Forley whispered excitedly, his reverence forgotten. ‘Tell ‘em, Godry!’
‘That he did, Forley.’ Godry smiled, his scarred face contorting grotesquely. ‘See, that Dekar’s sharp as a carving knife. Took up Taylor’s magic sword, led the King’s Men himself. But that weren’t all. Had some of his men kept back, from down West. Big men. Hard men. Came on the Northmen camp in the dead of night. Surrounded ‘em.’
‘Weren’t just any men, I hears it.’ Albin grumbled.
‘Here we go!’ Forley snorted.
‘Said it yourself, Godry. Dekar took up with them religious types.’ Albin shot back, frowning indignantly. ‘Everyone knows it.’
‘Religious? Masks don’t keep the Makers.’ Forley spat. ‘Ain’t nothing but bandits dressed up like monks.’
Cal blinked.
*‘*Brothers ain’t got no Gods save the Darkness.’ Priss murmured quietly. ‘You say Nine, I say eight.’
‘All the same.’ Albin was saying, folding his arms over his mug. ‘Brothers are useful, and good old Dekar didn’t sniff at them like you do.’
‘That’s enough, Alb.’ Godry interrupted. ‘He’s still our King, even all the way out here.’
Cal opened his mouth, straightening in his seat, but Carel pushed him back down again tutting.
‘Sit still.’
‘But-’
‘Hardly our King anymore, anyways.’ Albin spat. ‘Not like it used to be. Valia’s for the lowlanders.’
‘You sounds like a Northman.’ Forley scowled.
‘Or one of the Elahi.’ Priss added. Albin bristled, and Godry jumped in just in time.
‘Doesn’t matter. All Dekar’s hard men never got to the Northmen camp.’ The grizzled old smelter went on. ‘Seems old Isandur weren’t done yet.
Cal gritted his teeth. His head ached, and his mouth tasted like smoke.
Albin spat at his feet, sneering. ‘Isandur my arse.’
‘Let him be, Alb.’ Forley told him.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as the butcher and his son fixed Forley with their most angry of looks. Then Godry cleared his throat noisily, and Petr shoved himself to his feet and stalked off towards the bar, snatching up their empty mugs as he went.
‘But Isandur is a crafty one, and no mistake. Showed up just in time, as always. What he wanted from it, no man can say. Them Chosen are scheming sorts, what ones is left. Us mortals couldn’t guess what they’s thinkin’.’ He paused, nodding knowingly. ‘Storm-tamers, they call ‘em. He spoke the words, and the sky opened. Biggest storm you’ve ever seen. Caught Dekar’s men as they came. Scattered ‘em like wheat in a gale.’
Petr aimed a crooked smile at Carel as he passed, and she lowered her eyes. Cal barely noticed. He no longer heard Godry. The room around him seemed very far away. Was he awake? Or was he dreaming?
‘Northerners took the chance. Fled faster than the wind what chased them. Them that were still on the rock, them what murdered and killed our King?’ Godry went on, shaking his head sadly. ‘Them he called the wind itself for, and carried them away before Dekar could get at them. Aerolf’s brother, among them. King of the North, he goes by now. Couple of other Northmen, too. Stonesplitter cut almost in half by the Bloodless’ blade.’
Albin spat on the floor, and the miners scowled. No right-minded Valian liked this part, magic or not. Cal ground his teeth.
‘That Chosen bastard let the King get his throat slit, then shows up to save his killers.’ Albin cursed.
‘Makers know why. Not been seen since.’ Godry agreed. ‘Back they went, anyway, back to the rest of the savages as they fled like dogs. Storm was so heavy, river banks burst behind them, flooded half the valley.’
Cal’s heart was pounding in his ears, and his skull was ringing. Outside, the wind whined over the thatching, howling at the broken clouds.
‘Don’t matter how many men Dekar had. Or how many Brothers. Ain’t no one swimming in mail.’
Cal forced his eyes shut. Black Ones. A storm. Falling.
‘Cal?’
He opened his eyes, blinking into the firelight, and found Carel looking down at him worriedly.
‘Does it hurt?’ She was asking softly.
‘What… no, I’m fine.’ He told her, blinking again. ‘I need to…’
‘Stay here.’ She told him, lifting up the bloody pail. ‘I need more cloth.’
She turned on her heel and disappeared. Cal’s head spun.
‘… already scared off the new folk with all these tall stories.’ Albin was saying. ‘Storm’s just a storm. Forge boy knows.’
Cal blinked, lurching unsteadily to his feet. Asking questions, the Innkeep had said. His vision blurred unsteadily, and the room stared back at him, wobbling like a top.
‘Cal, you need to sit down.’ Lokk told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Cal blinked. His eyes stopped spinning, and the ache in his head had vanished. The wind had moved on overhead, and the air was thick with smoke and heat. The little group of patrons were eyeing him curiously. All save the butcher.
‘Listen to him boy, before you hurt yourself.’ Albin sneered back at him.
‘Come on, Cal. Ignore him.’ Lokk murmured in his ear.
Cal swallowed, meeting the swarthy butcher’s eye for a moment. Then he let himself be steered backward, slumping into his seat like an empty sack.
‘Must have lost more blood than I thought.’ Lokk told him, pulling up a chair beside him and tutting. ‘Want to pick a fight with Albin as well as that storm?’
‘What?’ Cal mumbled, blinking. The butcher had gone back to his drink, and the other villagers had gone with him, grumbling amongst themselves about the practicalities of storm-tamers and treacherous, magical old men. He took a breath. ‘I wasn’t. I-’
‘Sure looked like you were. You know Alb. Just his way. Didn’t mean anything by it.’
‘Lokk, when did the new folk leave?’
‘What? Oh… I told you. Right after you turned up. Spooked ‘em good, you did, all bloody like a fresh ham…’
‘Where did they go?’
‘How should I know? Had my hands full peeling you off the floor. Why d’you care, anyway?’
‘Lokk, I need to…’
‘Oh, no you don’t! You aren’t going anywhere. Need to rest.’ His friend told him, pinning him to his chair by his shoulders. ‘Look like you fell down half the Teeth face first.’
‘I…’ Cal began, lowering his voice. His head was clearing, and the room was no longer spinning like a leaf. Beside the fire, the other patrons were still bickering emptily. The storm had passed, and the ache of it was clearing from his battered skull. ‘I didn’t just fall. Something was chasing me.’
‘What are you talking about? You crack your head, too?’
‘Lokk, listen. There were…’
‘Let go!’
They both looked up at the sudden commotion from beside the bar. Carel had just made it out from behind it with a fresh pail of steaming water before Petr had cornered her, bulky shoulders blocking the way forward like a stubborn bullock. He had one meaty hand curled around Carel’s wrist, and she had her eyes fixed on the floor. Cal was on his feet before Lokk could say anything.
‘Let go of her.’
The big youth let go of Carel’s wrist, and the pail fell abruptly back to her side, spilling steaming water across the floor. She looked at it distantly, frowning.
‘Or what, you little shit?’ The butcher’s son grumbled throatily, turning slowly around to facing Cal, glaring down at him with rheumy-eyes. His words had the imprecise edge of drink to them, and his breath smelled of sour ale. ‘Gonna throw yourself down a fucking hill at me?’
‘Just leave her be, Petr.’ Lokk added from Cal’s shoulder.
‘Mind your own business.’ The big youth snorted, still glaring at Cal darkly. ‘Sit down before you hurt yourself, stray.’
He began to turn back to Carel. Lokk put a hand on Cal’s shoulder, and Cal ignored him.
‘Leave her be.’ He said again.
‘Or what?’ Petr snarled back, lurching around again, wiping spittle from the corner of his mouth. ‘Going to bleed on me?’
‘It’s fine, Cal. No harm done.’ Carel said quietly from beside the bar, eyes still on the ground. ‘Sit down, let me finish with your cuts.’
‘You heard her. Be a good little foundling and sit down like she says.’
Cal swallowed. Petr was nearly a head taller than he was, and his arms were thick, corded with miner’s work. But there would be no avoiding it now, and he didn’t have the patience to let it be, that night. The big youth was drunk, and spoiling for a fight. Cal glanced back over his shoulder, but the other patrons were bickering loudly beside the fire, oblivious, or indifferent, or both. The Innkeep was still in the back somewhere, tapping a new barrel. Strike first. Strike hard. Cal shifted his feet slightly, readying himself. His head had cleared, and his pain was far away. The moment of calm was on him. A blink in time. The room faded away, vibrating with stillness. There was only his breath. In, and out. He waited.
‘Nothing to say? Suppose a dead whore can’t teach her cunt son any manners.’
Cal moved quickly, uncoiling like a bowstring. He burst forward off his hind leg, bunching his fist towards Petr’s slab of a jaw. The butcher’s son had no chance to react. How could he? Cal moved with the ease of a seasoned brawler, hard limbs whipping like clubs. Lokk’s arm slipped from his shoulder. He was already halfway across the distance between them before Petr could even blink.
His boot splashed, skidded, slid. The water. Cal blinked, lost balance, and slid wildly into Petr’s chest. His head thudded into the other boy, and he staggered back, confused, dazed. Petr blinked down at him, cogs turning slowly in his ale-slowed mind. Then a broad grin spread across the big youth’s jaw.
‘Should’ve listened, stray.’

Hi everyone,
I’m about to start my training in radiology. I’m trying to survive my last ward-based rotation. I apologise if everything below doesn’t make sense or isn’t coherent but I’m not in a good place and am very burnt out.
Lately I have been struggling with stress around making big decisions. I recently was involved in a very traumatic death where I have to make a statement and possibly be interviewed as a witness (I received reassurances that the medical team’s decisions were not being investigated). I’m going to get MDU input anyway.
The event has made me really anxious around making decisions and the risks involved. Firstly, I’m worried that if I actually make a big mistake I won’t be able to forgive myself. I’m worried about making erroneous reports that result in a team taking the wrong action etc. and the toll this would have on the patient. Then I’m worried about medicolegal ramifications and the fact that my only source of income would be at risk.
Secondly, I’m wondering if this level of stress is really worth it - I’m fairly young and work to live, and I value my life outside of work very highly. I’m not sure if I want to have that stress permeate into my personal life. I’ve read about burnout in radiology and there must be some truth to this. I know ST1 is fairly protected without on calls but it can’t surely be like that, especially once on-calls start in ST2?

I'm not very social at work, but I'll make small talk with people around me or when someone approaches me to talk or ask for help or whatever.
The other day a girl I work with approached me and made small talk then called me cute. In response I laughed and went back to working.
I'm not comfortable with compliments so I didn't really know what to say. Looking back now surely I should have just said thanks, but hindsight.
Now she has been avoiding me and asking anyone else around for help (literally working a few feet away from her and she asked someone who was a bit further away for help; this has happened twice now).
I assumed she was just being nice and it was no big thing, but now with the weird avoidance I'm wondering if I hurt her feelings/offended her. Should I confront her and apologize? Or just continue to ignore? She's cute herself, but I don't want any sort of romantic relationship with her (plus she has a boyfriend). I barely want to be friends with co-workers in the first place.