Todays final jeopardy

I (21f) and my bf (23m) have been fighting for months now. It’s been made clear to me that a lot of my efforts go unnoticed or my mistakes make my efforts look like they’re for me instead of for us as a couple. He has been complaining to me for a while now that I haven’t been spending a lot of time with him. I feel like I need to work on this too so I took an opportunity of using a hotel booking I was planning to cancel due to me not going to my moms wedding. I planned to go to the hotel, go to a go karting place, and then go to a nice restaurant for dinner. He feels I chose all of this for me since it’s more of my ideal date. Which it is more so my ideal date and I feel I was negligent in thinking about what his ideal date would be. But because of this he doesn’t see this as an effort to spend more time with him. He also complained about our sex life and how I don’t initiate. Ok so let me allow myself to be dominant (because this is something I crave. I just get insecure when I do it in the moment and it makes me freeze up mentally) but he refuses to see how that’s relevant when I tell him this is another effort I’m making. Today he wanted to play a game mode on castle crashes. I love castle crashes but sometimes I don’t want to play it just because it’s not what I feel like playing. I genuinely see nothing wrong with this therefore I told him no. He kept asking about it until finally I said fuck you and fuck off. I can’t say how my tone sounded to him but I can definitely see where it’s hurtful. I’ve apologized for this. It doesn’t entitle me to be excused though. I’ve acknowledged this. But I told him no three times before I said that. Why can’t he respect my consent? And his logic is, “well I play games I don’t like with you all the time. Why can’t you do the same for 10 minutes?” And honestly that’s hurtful. I never expected him to play games with me purely for the fact I’m playing it. And I feel it’s unfair for him to expect me to even though he dies it for me even when I tell him that’s not what I want. But I understand that’s part of his love language is to just spend time with me doing anything. But I’m not the same way. I tell him we’re two different people with two different minds and that’s ok. I genuinely don’t know what to do at this point. Everything I’m doing feels wrong or like it will make him mad.
TLDR: bf and I argued because I told him no to playing a game he wanted to play. What do I do??

Hello everyone, This is my first ever post and I'm seeking advice regarding my experience with the comedown after taking MDMA.
Around three weeks ago, I tried MDMA for the first time at a music festival. I consumed two capsules in total, taking one initially and the second about three hours later. I was later told that each capsule contained approximately 200ug, so my total dosage was around 400ug. The trip itself was amazing, and I had a fantastic night. The following day, I anticipated experiencing some sort of comedown, as I had heard that MDMA comedowns can be quite unpleasant. However, I felt fine. I went about my usual activities, spending time with friends and going to the gym, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
The following day, I began to feel slightly depressed, and the same was true for my friends who had also taken MDMA with me. I wasn't overly concerned at this point because we were all in a similar state, and I believed these feelings would pass. However, on the third day, things took a turn for the worse. I experienced deep feelings of depression and had to force myself to cry in order to feel a bit better. It was an odd sensation to feel so depressed without any specific reason for it, and it left me feeling confused and anxious. I was told that MDMA depletes serotonin levels, and assumed that was the cause of my current state. These feelings of depression persisted throughout the week, and my research indicated that comedowns could last up to a week. So I anxiously waited for the full week to pass, hoping that by the seventh day, I would feel completely normal again. It was challenging for me to gauge my progress on a daily basis, as my mood improvement was not significant from day to day.
Even after a week had passed since taking the capsules, I still didn't feel completely back to normal. I began to question whether I was still experiencing a comedown or if my own overthinking was contributing to my depression. There were days when I woke up feeling extremely anxious, immediately wondering if I would feel normal that day. It wasn't as though I was depressed throughout the entire day; my mood would fluctuate throughout the day. I could be having a great time talking to friends, and suddenly my mood would plummet, causing me to no longer enjoy the moment. This constant anticipation of feeling down when I was feeling normal made it difficult for me to focus on anything. I felt the need to prepare myself for when my mood would inevitably shift.
At this point, one week after taking MDMA, I grew increasingly worried about whether I would ever return to feeling normal. Most people mentioned that the comedown typically settles within a week, but I hadn't experienced any noticeable signs of improvement even after that timeframe. It felt as though I had become accustomed to the feeling of being depressed. However, I decided to persevere and give it more time, after reading some of the experiences shared on Reddit.Fast forward to around two weeks after taking MDMA, and I finally noticed significant improvements in my mood. When friends asked how I was doing, I would tell them that I felt mostly normal. This positive state lasted for a few days, but then I began to experience fluctuations again. I find this confusing, as I'm uncertain whether I'm overthinking and creating problems that don't truly exist. I constantly question whether what I'm experiencing is my new normal and if my previous normal state before taking the capsules was higher (if that makes sense). These thoughts weigh heavily on my mind and burden my life, furthering my feelings of depression. I'm unsure whether these thoughts themselves are causing my depression or if it's still the lingering effects of MDMA.
However, things were bearable until I went out with friends and consumed alcohol during a night out. Drinking seemed to worsen my situation, but I persisted for a few more days. Unfortunately, during an event yesterday where I consumed a significant amount of alcohol, my depression intensified. I had to leave early, and for hours, I cried uncontrollably, desperately longing to reclaim my old life. At this point, I deeply regretted taking the capsules three weeks ago and wished I had never done it. I feel as though I will never regain my previous life, and I'm trapped in this never-ending cycle. I am so exhausted from waking up every morning and being anxious of whether I will feel okay today. After last night I feel like I need to take a long or even permanent break from all sorts of drugs (alcohol, mdma etc). I don't think I will ever touch MDMA again.
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Does anyone have similar experiences or any advice they can offer? I am so worried right now that I do not know what to do or how to go about with my situation. I know 400ug is alot to take for my first time, and a really stupid mistake to make.

Since the start of this year my Q has really been trying to confront his alcoholism. He has gone to meetings and is on the waitlist for therapy. He's gone almost a month without drinking twice and have a few week or two sober stints. I foolishly really believed things were finally going to be different, especially after this past 6 weeks of living what could be without alcohol. He had been his old self again - active, productive, silly, lively, helpful, loving... he truly is so great when sober and we get along so well with the same values and goals in life, it's very hard to walk away from and accept the reality. But the time has come.
Tonight I came home from work to find him passed out on the couch, we are supposed to leave early for our drive to the airport and I can't believe he did this today of all days. Upon asking him about it I was called names and deflected at, told I was crazy and delusional... you know the drill. I couldn't believe it was happening again. We have been together for almost 4 years, he has only been drinking for the last 2 of them. We have lived across the country from family for several years now and were making arrangements to move back. We have appointments to view affordable homes and rental options, his dad invited my family to dinner so everyone could finally meet. This trip was a huge deal and step towards our dreams, but now I am going alone. I have already told my family and his mom, because his mom was going to get us from the airport and arranged a car rental but now I will need to be picked up by my family. So there is no turning back now... everyone knows. I know deep down this is some sort of twisted blessing and the extreme I needed to burst my bubble of hope I have been living in. I am totally devastated and shocked. I can't believe any of it. He was so sincere about recovery and so happy and alive these past weeks of sobriety. This disease sucks. But this is the last time it will upheave my life. I'm really worried about starting over and don't know what I will do, we have plans and goals well into the future and I really believed it was possible. I truly loved this person but I hate the monster that lives inside him. He literally bought me flowers a few days ago and now here we are with him screaming at me for his half of the money for he rv we live in so he can leave before I get back, but of course it's all my fault because I'm crazy and delusional.... this is absolutely surreal. If you read this far thank you for letting me vent

(18m) I’m just curious if other people with better life experience than me have been in situations like this and if it actually gets better and if so, how it would get better.
Today I was being pretty unproductive. Me and my friend were seshing and I broke his brothers 300$ piece that I’m gonna be forced to somehow pay for without my family finding out. I have multiple final exams to worry about, and the entirety of the 11th grade in my school thinks that I stare at women often because I hang out with someone who often gets caught doing that.
I’m constantly walking down the hallway not paying any attention to anybody and all of a sudden I see two girls running away from me until they turn the corner, throughout my entire life I’ve been very socially included but now I’ve been on a constant downward spiral for the past two years.
Will this change when I move schools next year (the schools are relatively close together but not many people from my current school talk to the other school).

My grandma recieved a call today, she has been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, stage 4. She is 74 years old
She had been telling the doctors for about two years she doesn’t feel right and they had been putting her off. Finally because she was in severe pain they decided to take it seriously.
My grandma has never smoked or drank in her life. She is type 2 diabetic, also has had breast cancer maybe 6-8 years ago. She is starting to not know what is going on and has been in lingering pain throughout her body.
This is sick that these doctors had put her off for so long. She now has a year or maybe less who knows, to live. Im sick to my stomach right now. I am going to pray and hope for the best, as a family what can we do for her?
What are her chances to helping her live longer? Is it possible to receive treatment at this stage? I don’t want to bombard her with questions, we are all in shock and are so hurt for my grandma.

Watched Saving Private Ryan on Pluto TV today, Memorial Day, and was reminded that it is truly a great movie. Also thought back to when it came out and old veterans would leave the theater in tears because it brought back memories of serving in WW2. Finally was reminded that Shakespeare in Love won best picture in 1999. Wtf! What a travesty.😭

Danny Trejo talks to Adam about everything from learning disorders to taxes and the border. Danny tells the story of his first armed robbery and explains how he got into drugs at an early age before they discuss the thin line between prisoners and prison guards. Next, Chris reports the news including: the World Health Organization warning of a new pandemic and a Delta passenger going after the airline for serving nuts on the flight. Finally, Jodi Miller joins in as therapist Stephanie Winn comes onto the show to promote the movie ‘Affirmation Generation’ and helps us understand more about one of the hottest issues in America today.
Adam carolla does not manscape.

For context, my bf is away for 3 weeks so I’ve been letting my inner adhd demon run FREE. Mostly harmless things like eating cereal for dinner at 2 am, leaving half finished tasks everywhere, and generally following a few too many whims. Day before he left I finished the first book in a series, so I gave it to him so he could read it on the plane etc. The following few days, all I did was read. A L L I did. I could finally fully indulge my hyper focus. I was literally GIDDY the whole time. I was so excited about the characters and that I sparked that feeling from childhood of loving a book. I finished the WHOLE series before he got halfway through the first book. It was all I could think about. I was losing my mind not being about to talk to someone about it because he’s so far behind!! Every time he called I tried so hard not to, but eventually I’d give in and ask if he read any more and what was happening in the book. At some point I went to some social events and ALL I could think about was the books but it was NOT the setting to talk about faerie smut. Since he was taking so long… I started reading the series again. And researching it. Finding fanfic on it. ANYTHING. Today when I finally pulled myself away from watching fricking TikTok compilations of memes on YouTube about it (wtf), I thought to check my school stuff…. Guys I had an EXAM today. Every two weeks I have an exam on the two weeks of new materials. Only at that moment did I realize: 1. It’s been two weeks. 2. I have not learned a single thing in these two weeks. Why, brain, why… (Its “A Court of Thorns and Roses” btw…read at your own risk)

Chapters 1-3
Chapters 4-7
Chapters 8-10
And we're back on everyone! May has certainly been a busy month so I haven't been able to get around to writing this until just now, but the run continues. Today I finally reap what I've sown & massively blunder while also recruiting two new essential ladies to this run. Without further ado, let's get started!
Chapter 11
This one was actually not the trickiest chapter in the entire series, but I certainly made it worse on myself because I have a need for door keys because I can't always depend on Lara to be around. I take a decent amount of time having Nanna & Karin capture some of these knights while Lara steals Door Keys where she can. Overall this was the slowest point of this streak of chapters where I just loaded up on lances/bows/keys just because I knew I wouldn't have a ton of time to slow down after this point. We kept moving, got to the doors where I burnt 1 key just to keep some of my squishier units out of ballista range & get to Kempf ASAP. Surprisingly Fred refused to be a fool and actually corner camped & used his vulnerary which gave me way more breathing room than I expected. I captured what I could with Big Mac in the throne room & tapped Kempf with Nanna to get him outta there. Overall a smooth chapter for how much I usually struggle with a full team & we're off to 11x!
Chapter 11x
Ok so this chapter was really finnicky because the top half of the map can't actually be cleared by Fred & I really really need to get to Olwen fast. She's my first mage & by god I need to use all these Thunder tomes I've been saving up. So Lara gets warped up & saves the now defenseless Fred with a Paragon Sword & Neir Scroll in hand to get more build levels. Otherwise I had Tanya & Karin in the main hallway because Machuya had to rest up. Selphina certainly chipped through the hallway, but otherwise it was a slow burn through the hallway because I couldn't heal without backing up to Safy. This whole ordeal took a few attempts because of Lara not being a combat unit, Tanya & Karin crawling through the melee, and me waiting out Meteor to make sure it didn't kill Olwen. Once I actually managed to save Olwen the chapter became far more consistent, but the amount of soldiers filing up in the top side meant the children couldn't make it out sadly. Olwen & Lara tried their hardest but with Fred constantly getting captured it was a struggle. Overall it was a difficult chapter, but we made it out with a decent haul of generic loot & a new cornerpiece to my army with a lot of training ahead of her.
I actually want to sidetrack for a minute and talk about how unique of a position Olwen is in. While she has generally bad ranks & pretty mediocre stats she's going to be among the most important units in the run. I've been saving wind & thunder tomes for a good reason, training Olwen is my fast track to getting a good magic unit. Out of all my options, Linoan is good but is stuck at 5 move until Chapter 21, Nanna only gets magic damage on Earth Sword, and frankly I don't know if I'll be getting Miranda. I very well may be stuck with Olwen being the best trained mage for most of the game, especially the more difficult outdoor chapters of the midgame. For as much as Olwen is such a weirdly balanced unit in a normal FE5 run, she's going to rapidly excel because of how rare magic damage is. I'm going to talk about this later, but keep in mind how important Olwen will be & how she grows.
Chapter 12
Hey so remember how I said my actions would bite me later? Yeah here it is, both Karin & Safy are exhausted in this chapter & I didn't kill Fred so I'm stuck with this. After much trial & error I simply fled to the top corridor with my army, let Fred get killed, and ran for the end. Also on a side note we get Mareeta, my 3rd sword unit and one with a really good promo. She's going to be used & hopefully end up decent. I managed to use Mareeta to capture Salem so only Machuya got slept. Captured the boss for a neat Vantage Manual & we made a clean getaway without any unique treasure. It was a surprisingly easier clear when I decided to not train Olwen nor capture more axes for Machuya. No arena grinding & no houses, but hey it was clean & quick.
Chapter 12x
So hey I'm continuing to reap what I sow, Lara is completely exhausted & unable to participate in this chapter! I now don't have a dancer, woo hoo! Otherwise I really don't have much to say, I warped Salem to get Perne out, Tina burned the Thief staff because I couldn't steal it with Perne, and all the treasures + 2 extra dancers were captured. Good loot all around & a terrible result with not getting a dancer. This will become a pretty massive problem later on, but for now I get a real Thief Fighter! I also get Tina, but there will be more words on her in later parts as she will eventually become important.
Thoughts
So with two somehow simple chapters & two more complex as normal chapters we leave behind our little journey & arrive at Tahra next time. Overall I'm getting to the point where max deploy via fatigue isn't an option so I'm going to have to space out my staff users between Tina, Safy, and Nanna. Overall the next few chapters will be a practice in roster management which will be "fun" as the Kaga fans would say. It's only going to get far harder, but overall from a mildly more analytical perspective we're moving our roster into a 2 side split of how I'm going to deploy & make some form of parity between actual units & training projects for lategame. Hopefully it won't be too long until the next part, but for now I'll leave you with the roster stats.
Tanya didn't change much, she's better than Selphina at least
Safy I am once again asking for 10 skill
Machuya my beloved meatwall
Karin isn't too different from the last post, she was out of commission for her important chapters
Level 20 Lara!
Nanna approaching 20/20 cap
Selphina literally didn't level up
Olwen's Minor Progress
On the next episode we'll get our 2nd mage, 2nd flier, and a bunch of Stam Drinks. Hope everyone enjoyed this & if you've got any questions please let me know & I'll try to answer the best I can. Thanks for reading through!

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.
Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian, lord and serf, guild-master and journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes.
In the earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement of society into various orders, a manifold gradation of social rank. In ancient Rome we have patricians, knights, plebeians, slaves; in the Middle Ages, feudal lords, vassals, guild-masters, journeymen, apprentices, serfs; in almost all of these classes, again, subordinate gradations.
The modern bourgeois society that has sprouted from the ruins of feudal society has not done away with class antagonisms. It has but established new classes, new conditions of oppression, new forms of struggle in place of the old ones.
Our epoch, the epoch of the bourgeoisie, possesses, however, this distinct feature: it has simplified class antagonisms. Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great hostile camps, into two great classes directly facing each other — Bourgeoisie and Proletariat.
From the serfs of the Middle Ages sprang the chartered burghers of the earliest towns. From these burgesses the first elements of the bourgeoisie were developed.
The discovery of America, the rounding of the Cape, opened up fresh ground for the rising bourgeoisie. The East-Indian and Chinese markets, the colonisation of America, trade with the colonies, the increase in the means of exchange and in commodities generally, gave to commerce, to navigation, to industry, an impulse never before known, and thereby, to the revolutionary element in the tottering feudal society, a rapid development.
The feudal system of industry, in which industrial production was monopolised by closed guilds, now no longer sufficed for the growing wants of the new markets. The manufacturing system took its place. The guild-masters were pushed on one side by the manufacturing middle class; division of labour between the different corporate guilds vanished in the face of division of labour in each single workshop.
Meantime the markets kept ever growing, the demand ever rising. Even manufacturer no longer sufficed. Thereupon, steam and machinery revolutionised industrial production. The place of manufacture was taken by the giant, Modern Industry; the place of the industrial middle class by industrial millionaires, the leaders of the whole industrial armies, the modern bourgeois.
Modern industry has established the world market, for which the discovery of America paved the way. This market has given an immense development to commerce, to navigation, to communication by land. This development has, in its turn, reacted on the extension of industry; and in proportion as industry, commerce, navigation, railways extended, in the same proportion the bourgeoisie developed, increased its capital, and pushed into the background every class handed down from the Middle Ages.
We see, therefore, how the modern bourgeoisie is itself the product of a long course of development, of a series of revolutions in the modes of production and of exchange.
Each step in the development of the bourgeoisie was accompanied by a corresponding political advance of that class. An oppressed class under the sway of the feudal nobility, an armed and self-governing association in the medieval commune(4): here independent urban republic (as in Italy and Germany); there taxable “third estate” of the monarchy (as in France); afterwards, in the period of manufacturing proper, serving either the semi-feudal or the absolute monarchy as a counterpoise against the nobility, and, in fact, cornerstone of the great monarchies in general, the bourgeoisie has at last, since the establishment of Modern Industry and of the world market, conquered for itself, in the modern representative State, exclusive political sway. The executive of the modern state is but a committee for managing the common affairs of the whole bourgeoisie.
The bourgeoisie, historically, has played a most revolutionary part.
The bourgeoisie, wherever it has got the upper hand, has put an end to all feudal, patriarchal, idyllic relations. It has pitilessly torn asunder the motley feudal ties that bound man to his “natural superiors”, and has left remaining no other nexus between man and man than naked self-interest, than callous “cash payment”. It has drowned the most heavenly ecstasies of religious fervour, of chivalrous enthusiasm, of philistine sentimentalism, in the icy water of egotistical calculation. It has resolved personal worth into exchange value, and in place of the numberless indefeasible chartered freedoms, has set up that single, unconscionable freedom — Free Trade. In one word, for exploitation, veiled by religious and political illusions, it has substituted naked, shameless, direct, brutal exploitation.
The bourgeoisie has stripped of its halo every occupation hitherto honoured and looked up to with reverent awe. It has converted the physician, the lawyer, the priest, the poet, the man of science, into its paid wage labourers.
The bourgeoisie has torn away from the family its sentimental veil, and has reduced the family relation to a mere money relation.
The bourgeoisie has disclosed how it came to pass that the brutal display of vigour in the Middle Ages, which reactionaries so much admire, found its fitting complement in the most slothful indolence. It has been the first to show what man’s activity can bring about. It has accomplished wonders far surpassing Egyptian pyramids, Roman aqueducts, and Gothic cathedrals; it has conducted expeditions that put in the shade all former Exoduses of nations and crusades.
The bourgeoisie cannot exist without constantly revolutionising the instruments of production, and thereby the relations of production, and with them the whole relations of society. Conservation of the old modes of production in unaltered form, was, on the contrary, the first condition of existence for all earlier industrial classes. Constant revolutionising of production, uninterrupted disturbance of all social conditions, everlasting uncertainty and agitation distinguish the bourgeois epoch from all earlier ones. All fixed, fast-frozen relations, with their train of ancient and venerable prejudices and opinions, are swept away, all new-formed ones become antiquated before they can ossify. All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man is at last compelled to face with sober senses his real conditions of life, and his relations with his kind.
The need of a constantly expanding market for its products chases the bourgeoisie over the entire surface of the globe. It must nestle everywhere, settle everywhere, establish connexions everywhere.
The bourgeoisie has through its exploitation of the world market given a cosmopolitan character to production and consumption in every country. To the great chagrin of Reactionists, it has drawn from under the feet of industry the national ground on which it stood. All old-established national industries have been destroyed or are daily being destroyed. They are dislodged by new industries, whose introduction becomes a life and death question for all civilised nations, by industries that no longer work up indigenous raw material, but raw material drawn from the remotest zones; industries whose products are consumed, not only at home, but in every quarter of the globe. In place of the old wants, satisfied by the production of the country, we find new wants, requiring for their satisfaction the products of distant lands and climes. In place of the old local and national seclusion and self-sufficiency, we have intercourse in every direction, universal inter-dependence of nations. And as in material, so also in intellectual production. The intellectual creations of individual nations become common property. National one-sidedness and narrow-mindedness become more and more impossible, and from the numerous national and local literatures, there arises a world literature.
The bourgeoisie, by the rapid improvement of all instruments of production, by the immensely facilitated means of communication, draws all, even the most barbarian, nations into civilisation. The cheap prices of commodities are the heavy artillery with which it batters down all Chinese walls, with which it forces the barbarians’ intensely obstinate hatred of foreigners to capitulate. It compels all nations, on pain of extinction, to adopt the bourgeois mode of production; it compels them to introduce what it calls civilisation into their midst, i.e., to become bourgeois themselves. In one word, it creates a world after its own image.
The bourgeoisie has subjected the country to the rule of the towns. It has created enormous cities, has greatly increased the urban population as compared with the rural, and has thus rescued a considerable part of the population from the idiocy of rural life. Just as it has made the country dependent on the towns, so it has made barbarian and semi-barbarian countries dependent on the civilised ones, nations of peasants on nations of bourgeois, the East on the West.
The bourgeoisie keeps more and more doing away with the scattered state of the population, of the means of production, and of property. It has agglomerated population, centralised the means of production, and has concentrated property in a few hands. The necessary consequence of this was political centralisation. Independent, or but loosely connected provinces, with separate interests, laws, governments, and systems of taxation, became lumped together into one nation, with one government, one code of laws, one national class-interest, one frontier, and one customs-tariff.
The bourgeoisie, during its rule of scarce one hundred years, has created more massive and more colossal productive forces than have all preceding generations together. Subjection of Nature’s forces to man, machinery, application of chemistry to industry and agriculture, steam-navigation, railways, electric telegraphs, clearing of whole continents for cultivation, canalisation of rivers, whole populations conjured out of the ground — what earlier century had even a presentiment that such productive forces slumbered in the lap of social labour?
We see then: the means of production and of exchange, on whose foundation the bourgeoisie built itself up, were generated in feudal society. At a certain stage in the development of these means of production and of exchange, the conditions under which feudal society produced and exchanged, the feudal organisation of agriculture and manufacturing industry, in one word, the feudal relations of property became no longer compatible with the already developed productive forces; they became so many fetters. They had to be burst asunder; they were burst asunder.
Into their place stepped free competition, accompanied by a social and political constitution adapted in it, and the economic and political sway of the bourgeois class.
A similar movement is going on before our own eyes. Modern bourgeois society, with its relations of production, of exchange and of property, a society that has conjured up such gigantic means of production and of exchange, is like the sorcerer who is no longer able to control the powers of the nether world whom he has called up by his spells. For many a decade past the history of industry and commerce is but the history of the revolt of modern productive forces against modern conditions of production, against the property relations that are the conditions for the existence of the bourgeois and of its rule. It is enough to mention the commercial crises that by their periodical return put the existence of the entire bourgeois society on its trial, each time more threateningly. In these crises, a great part not only of the existing products, but also of the previously created productive forces, are periodically destroyed. In these crises, there breaks out an epidemic that, in all earlier epochs, would have seemed an absurdity — the epidemic of over-production. Society suddenly finds itself put back into a state of momentary barbarism; it appears as if a famine, a universal war of devastation, had cut off the supply of every means of subsistence; industry and commerce seem to be destroyed; and why? Because there is too much civilisation, too much means of subsistence, too much industry, too much commerce. The productive forces at the disposal of society no longer tend to further the development of the conditions of bourgeois property; on the contrary, they have become too powerful for these conditions, by which they are fettered, and so soon as they overcome these fetters, they bring disorder into the whole of bourgeois society, endanger the existence of bourgeois property. The conditions of bourgeois society are too narrow to comprise the wealth created by them. And how does the bourgeoisie get over these crises? On the one hand by enforced destruction of a mass of productive forces; on the other, by the conquest of new markets, and by the more thorough exploitation of the old ones. That is to say, by paving the way for more extensive and more destructive crises, and by diminishing the means whereby crises are prevented.
The weapons with which the bourgeoisie felled feudalism to the ground are now turned against the bourgeoisie itself.
But not only has the bourgeoisie forged the weapons that bring death to itself; it has also called into existence the men who are to wield those weapons — the modern working class — the proletarians.
In proportion as the bourgeoisie, i.e., capital, is developed, in the same proportion is the proletariat, the modern working class, developed — a class of labourers, who live only so long as they find work, and who find work only so long as their labour increases capital. These labourers, who must sell themselves piecemeal, are a commodity, like every other article of commerce, and are consequently exposed to all the vicissitudes of competition, to all the fluctuations of the market.
Owing to the extensive use of machinery, and to the division of labour, the work of the proletarians has lost all individual character, and, consequently, all charm for the workman. He becomes an appendage of the machine, and it is only the most simple, most monotonous, and most easily acquired knack, that is required of him. Hence, the cost of production of a workman is restricted, almost entirely, to the means of subsistence that he requires for maintenance, and for the propagation of his race. But the price of a commodity, and therefore also of labour, is equal to its cost of production. In proportion, therefore, as the repulsiveness of the work increases, the wage decreases. Nay more, in proportion as the use of machinery and division of labour increases, in the same proportion the burden of toil also increases, whether by prolongation of the working hours, by the increase of the work exacted in a given time or by increased speed of machinery, etc.
Modern Industry has converted the little workshop of the patriarchal master into the great factory of the industrial capitalist. Masses of labourers, crowded into the factory, are organised like soldiers. As privates of the industrial army they are placed under the command of a perfect hierarchy of officers and sergeants. Not only are they slaves of the bourgeois class, and of the bourgeois State; they are daily and hourly enslaved by the machine, by the overlooker, and, above all, by the individual bourgeois manufacturer himself. The more openly this despotism proclaims gain to be its end and aim, the more petty, the more hateful and the more embittering it is.
The less the skill and exertion of strength implied in manual labour, in other words, the more modern industry becomes developed, the more is the labour of men superseded by that of women. Differences of age and sex have no longer any distinctive social validity for the working class. All are instruments of labour, more or less expensive to use, according to their age and sex.
No sooner is the exploitation of the labourer by the manufacturer, so far, at an end, that he receives his wages in cash, than he is set upon by the other portions of the bourgeoisie, the landlord, the shopkeeper, the pawnbroker, etc.
The lower strata of the middle class — the small tradespeople, shopkeepers, and retired tradesmen generally, the handicraftsmen and peasants — all these sink gradually into the proletariat, partly because their diminutive capital does not suffice for the scale on which Modern Industry is carried on, and is swamped in the competition with the large capitalists, partly because their specialised skill is rendered worthless by new methods of production. Thus the proletariat is recruited from all classes of the population.
The proletariat goes through various stages of development. With its birth begins its struggle with the bourgeoisie. At first the contest is carried on by individual labourers, then by the workpeople of a factory, then by the operative of one trade, in one locality, against the individual bourgeois who directly exploits them. They direct their attacks not against the bourgeois conditions of production, but against the instruments of production themselves; they destroy imported wares that compete with their labour, they smash to pieces machinery, they set factories ablaze, they seek to restore by force the vanished status of the workman of the Middle Ages.
At this stage, the labourers still form an incoherent mass scattered over the whole country, and broken up by their mutual competition. If anywhere they unite to form more compact bodies, this is not yet the consequence of their own active union, but of the union of the bourgeoisie, which class, in order to attain its own political ends, is compelled to set the whole proletariat in motion, and is moreover yet, for a time, able to do so. At this stage, therefore, the proletarians do not fight their enemies, but the enemies of their enemies, the remnants of absolute monarchy, the landowners, the non-industrial bourgeois, the petty bourgeois. Thus, the whole historical movement is concentrated in the hands of the bourgeoisie; every victory so obtained is a victory for the bourgeoisie.
But with the development of industry, the proletariat not only increases in number; it becomes concentrated in greater masses, its strength grows, and it feels that strength more. The various interests and conditions of life within the ranks of the proletariat are more and more equalised, in proportion as machinery obliterates all distinctions of labour, and nearly everywhere reduces wages to the same low level. The growing competition among the bourgeois, and the resulting commercial crises, make the wages of the workers ever more fluctuating. The increasing improvement of machinery, ever more rapidly developing, makes their livelihood more and more precarious; the collisions between individual workmen and individual bourgeois take more and more the character of collisions between two classes. Thereupon, the workers begin to form combinations (Trades’ Unions) against the bourgeois; they club together in order to keep up the rate of wages; they found permanent associations in order to make provision beforehand for these occasional revolts. Here and there, the contest breaks out into riots.
Now and then the workers are victorious, but only for a time. The real fruit of their battles lies, not in the immediate result, but in the ever expanding union of the workers. This union is helped on by the improved means of communication that are created by modern industry, and that place the workers of different localities in contact with one another. It was just this contact that was needed to centralise the numerous local struggles, all of the same character, into one national struggle between classes. But every class struggle is a political struggle. And that union, to attain which the burghers of the Middle Ages, with their miserable highways, required centuries, the modern proletarian, thanks to railways, achieve in a few years.
This organisation of the proletarians into a class, and, consequently into a political party, is continually being upset again by the competition between the workers themselves. But it ever rises up again, stronger, firmer, mightier. It compels legislative recognition of particular interests of the workers, by taking advantage of the divisions among the bourgeoisie itself. Thus, the ten-hours’ bill in England was carried.
Altogether collisions between the classes of the old society further, in many ways, the course of development of the proletariat. The bourgeoisie finds itself involved in a constant battle. At first with the aristocracy; later on, with those portions of the bourgeoisie itself, whose interests have become antagonistic to the progress of industry; at all time with the bourgeoisie of foreign countries. In all these battles, it sees itself compelled to appeal to the proletariat, to ask for help, and thus, to drag it into the political arena. The bourgeoisie itself, therefore, supplies the proletariat with its own elements of political and general education, in other words, it furnishes the proletariat with weapons for fighting the bourgeoisie.
Further, as we have already seen, entire sections of the ruling class are, by the advance of industry, precipitated into the proletariat, or are at least threatened in their conditions of existence. These also supply the proletariat with fresh elements of enlightenment and progress.
Finally, in times when the class struggle nears the decisive hour, the progress of dissolution going on within the ruling class, in fact within the whole range of old society, assumes such a violent, glaring character, that a small section of the ruling class cuts itself adrift, and joins the revolutionary class, the class that holds the future in its hands. Just as, therefore, at an earlier period, a section of the nobility went over to the bourgeoisie, so now a portion of the bourgeoisie goes over to the proletariat, and in particular, a portion of the bourgeois ideologists, who have raised themselves to the level of comprehending theoretically the historical movement as a whole.
Of all the classes that stand face to face with the bourgeoisie today, the proletariat alone is a really revolutionary class. The other classes decay and finally disappear in the face of Modern Industry; the proletariat is its special and essential product.
The lower middle class, the small manufacturer, the shopkeeper, the artisan, the peasant, all these fight against the bourgeoisie, to save from extinction their existence as fractions of the middle class. They are therefore not revolutionary, but conservative. Nay more, they are reactionary, for they try to roll back the wheel of history. If by chance, they are revolutionary, they are only so in view of their impending transfer into the proletariat; they thus defend not their present, but their future interests, they desert their own standpoint to place themselves at that of the proletariat.
The “dangerous class”, [lumpenproletariat] the social scum, that passively rotting mass thrown off by the lowest layers of the old society, may, here and there, be swept into the movement by a proletarian revolution; its conditions of life, however, prepare it far more for the part of a bribed tool of reactionary intrigue.
In the condition of the proletariat, those of old society at large are already virtually swamped. The proletarian is without property; his relation to his wife and children has no longer anything in common with the bourgeois family relations; modern industry labour, modern subjection to capital, the same in England as in France, in America as in Germany, has stripped him of every trace of national character. Law, morality, religion, are to him so many bourgeois prejudices, behind which lurk in ambush just as many bourgeois interests.
All the preceding classes that got the upper hand sought to fortify their already acquired status by subjecting society at large to their conditions of appropriation. The proletarians cannot become masters of the productive forces of society, except by abolishing their own previous mode of appropriation, and thereby also every other previous mode of appropriation. They have nothing of their own to secure and to fortify; their mission is to destroy all previous securities for, and insurances of, individual property.
All previous historical movements were movements of minorities, or in the interest of minorities. The proletarian movement is the self-conscious, independent movement of the immense majority, in the interest of the immense majority. The proletariat, the lowest stratum of our present society, cannot stir, cannot raise itself up, without the whole superincumbent strata of official society being sprung into the air.
Though not in substance, yet in form, the struggle of the proletariat with the bourgeoisie is at first a national struggle. The proletariat of each country must, of course, first of all settle matters with its own bourgeoisie.
In depicting the most general phases of the development of the proletariat, we traced the more or less veiled civil war, raging within existing society, up to the point where that war breaks out into open revolution, and where the violent overthrow of the bourgeoisie lays the foundation for the sway of the proletariat.
Hitherto, every form of society has been based, as we have already seen, on the antagonism of oppressing and oppressed classes. But in order to oppress a class, certain conditions must be assured to it under which it can, at least, continue its slavish existence. The serf, in the period of serfdom, raised himself to membership in the commune, just as the petty bourgeois, under the yoke of the feudal absolutism, managed to develop into a bourgeois. The modern labourer, on the contrary, instead of rising with the process of industry, sinks deeper and deeper below the conditions of existence of his own class. He becomes a pauper, and pauperism develops more rapidly than population and wealth. And here it becomes evident, that the bourgeoisie is unfit any longer to be the ruling class in society, and to impose its conditions of existence upon society as an over-riding law. It is unfit to rule because it is incompetent to assure an existence to its slave within his slavery, because it cannot help letting him sink into such a state, that it has to feed him, instead of being fed by him. Society can no longer live under this bourgeoisie, in other words, its existence is no longer compatible with society.
The essential conditions for the existence and for the sway of the bourgeois class is the formation and augmentation of capital; the condition for capital is wage-labour. Wage-labour rests exclusively on competition between the labourers. The advance of industry, whose involuntary promoter is the bourgeoisie, replaces the isolation of the labourers, due to competition, by the revolutionary combination, due to association. The development of Modern Industry, therefore, cuts from under its feet the very foundation on which the bourgeoisie produces and appropriates products. What the bourgeoisie therefore produces, above all, are its own grave-diggers. Its fall and the victory of the proletariat are equally inevitable.

I am not the Original Poster. That is u/Melodic_Swordfish_27. They posted in AmItheAsshole.
Trigger Warning: transphobia, misgendering
Original Post: May 17, 2023
I [27NB] have a best friend [33M] who's getting married. He asked me to be a groomsperson, I told him I didn't feel comfortable taking a spot from his brothers (he has six brothers, all adopted, all of which he's pretty close to and I felt like he should ask them first) and he agreed. So he proposed to his fiancée [29F] that I be a bridesmaid. She asked if I would be interested and I asked if I had to wear a dress or not. She got kinda snippy with me saying "I'm doing this because he wants you in the wedding" and "just be a normal girl for a single night" so I told her I was uninterested in being a bridesmaid. I was actually pretty hurt and considered not even going to the wedding.
Best friend texts me asking why I said no to being a bridesmaid and I told him exactly why. He said she's been stressed with planning and to just give her a chance. So I decide to suck it up and work with her to find an outfit that I can at least wear. We find a few nice dresses and I'm going to just grin and bear it until fiancée asks if we can shorten the dress. I tell her I'm not comfortable going any shorter (it was already above my knees) and she made a comment about me needing to show off "my girlish ways" more to which I respond "I'm not a girl, I don't want to look hyper feminine."
We get into an argument to which she eventually just says "this is the issue with lesbians" (I'm not a lesbian). So I leave and text my best friend "sorry but I'm not going to be attending your wedding. Your fiancée is making really uncomfortable at this point and I think it best I just not be there."
He thinks I'm being an asshole and that I should just put up with her for a single night but this isn't a one night thing. I'm likely losing a friend if he marries her because I don't ever want to be around her.
Relevant Comments:
Can the bridal parties just be uneven on one side?
"Because she "needs" it to be a "lucky" number or something like that. Idk she's wiccan or something so I guess it's a religious thing but 🤷‍♂️
Also we met in high school and I was very much so not the embodiment of traditional femininity. I was actually much more masc in my teen years (ah yes, going to extremes to rebel against societal expectations haha)"
Can't you just suck it up and wear the dress?
"I was fine with sucking it up and wearing the dress. I'm not fine with wearing a minidress.
Let's also add I still get confused for a high schooler and get carded at bars because of how young I look (drinking age is 19 here) because of puberty blockers."
OOP is voted NTA
Update (Same Post): May 20, 2023 (3 days later)
So I took your guys' advice and text my best friend earlier the other day saying "ik I've been weird lately, can we just talk? Just us."
He agreed and we went out for lunch. I told him why I couldn't attend his wedding and that, as much as I love him, I can't be around his fiancée and that he had a decision to make. He told me he wasn't aware she was being so toxic and that he'd talk to her because it "didn't sound like her." I told him to do what he needed to.
About three hours later I get a text from fiancée telling me I'm a homewrecker and that I need to stay out of their relationship. I block her number so idk if she continued after.
Eventually, best friend asks if we can all get dinner. I agree and we get dinner at a local chain. He tries to sort out what happened, she doesn't deny it at all. Eventually he asks his fiancée why she never brought up her views on LGBTQ people knowing I was in the picture and she says something like "other women shouldn't be in your life" to which he corrects her that I'm not a woman and she says "she is though!"
I try to excuse myself and she makes a comment about me having an emotional affair with her fiancée to which I respond "no, I just don't want to be around you anymore."
Best friend offers to drive me home and I tell him to sort things out with his fiancée and I'll have my bf pick me up and that he clearly needs to have a conversation with the woman he's about to marry. He walks me to the curb and waits with me until my bf gets there (it was pretty late and not a great area of town) and asks what I'd do. I tell him "if our positions were reversed I would've left her without needing to drag this out like this." To which he tells me I'm being a bit unfair and I apologise and tell him to lmk if I still have a best friend.
Bf asks if he wants me to have him go over to their place the next day and pick up my belongings and I tell him no.
Got a text this morning from best friend telling me he needs time to consider things but that he appreciates me coming to him. I apologise again. We haven't talked since. I'm honestly just emotionally numb at this point.
Update Post 2: May 23, 2023 (6 days from OG post)
So final update. Doing it here to avoid creating more of a wall of text on my original post.
Best friend text me earlier today asking me if I'd let him stay with me and my bf. I ran it past my bf, he agreed so we moved him into the guest room. He called out of work, used up his sick leave and is not with fiancée anymore.
He's pretty broken up about the whole thing and honestly I briefly questioned whether or not I should've just let him live in ignorance but I'm glad I told him. If he ever has kids or his siblings come out or anything I'd hate for them to need to be around fiancée.
He's agreed to watch my kids (2F, 2M, and 5F) and help out around the house so we're not gonna make him pay rent, especially after breaking up with his fiancée. Babysitting twin toddlers is rent enough.
So overall a happy ending but I'm not sure really where we stand. I think it'll take some time but I'm not gonna drop my best friend of over a decade if he's not gonna marry a transphobe. So hopefully no major issues with our relationship going forward.

Today marks a very special age milestone for me as Ive turned 16. For it being such a special milestone in life, I don't feel very special. I feel like people around me treated it so normally and casually. Most interactions felt like it mattered less than previous birthdays with less special numbers attached. All I've done today was babysit and eat a bowl of week old chilli (which has already come back to haunt me.) My family didn't even wish me happy birthday. Only 2 of my friends wished me a happy birthday. Now that the final minutes are ticking until the day is over, it makes me wonder, is today really even that special? So far, it hasnt really felt special. It felt normal, like any other day. I'm sitting in bed just contemplating the why's.

Hey y'all I'm a new rider, just today put my first 100 miles on my MT03!
Regrettably, I haven't gotten insurance yet and now that I'm finally riding more, I'm looking for suggestions and how much y'all are paying so that I know I'm getting a good deal.
I was interested in looking at this Voom insurance that had a sponsored ad on Fortnine's channel. But so far as I can tell it's the exact opposite of "low cost." I like the idea of the pay per mile because I live in Ohio and I wouldn't be riding more than 4 or 5 months at a time, but when the baseline they're quoting me is $200 + another $1.50 per mile, that seemed completely outrageous to me.
Geico came back at around 90 ish a month. Still working my way through the usual suspects but I'd like a little advice from more seasoned riders before I pull the trigger on anything.

I have been overweight since I could remember being conscious about my body, appearance, and my size compared to others. Seeing other girls who were skinny/a normal size for their age in grade school always made me frustrated for myself. I could never shop in the clothes section that matched my age. I was always self-conscious trying to partake in the same physical activities as the other girls. And of course, my weight also impacted how I was treated as a person.
Fast forward to today, I am in my early twenties and finally able to understand how to lose weight and take care of myself. Over the last year I have slimmed down significantly and I am more comfortable with my body (most days) than I have ever been in my entire life.
I cannot help but love it when I see the same girls I grew up with losing their figure, plumping up in the face, and gaining weight. Seeing myself lose weight, and seeing them gain weight makes me even more confident and I don’t know why. It feels like a “Haha” moment. Has anyone else experienced this?

I'm a mildly autistic 24-year-old M and I feel like I haven't achieved much since graduating from high school over 6 years ago. I'm still in my hometown, which I hate because I know none of the people here and have no interest in making new connections here because they're going to be a blur to me when I finally get out of here. I have no direction in what I want to do as a career because I've been put down and underestimated by most people in my life, especially teachers. I've built up an emotional firewall to repress my emotions so to speak, and people tell me I come off as cold to some of them. Last night, I cried myself to sleep because I realized how unlovable I am right now, and barely ate anything today. The sad thing is I have no one to confide in other than my therapist, no close friends, or anything because they're all gone. The only good week I had this month was the week of the 6th because it was my birthday. Other than that it's been pretty crappy.