I made a marble cake. Unfortunately, I accidentally over baked it and it’s already too sweet due to a recipe error so I can’t add a sugawater syrup cake soak
My options so far: 1. Soy milk soak (just what I have on hand, I don’t have any other milks) 2. Espresso soak (hoping the bitterness of espresso will cut the sweetness, but I don’t want it to taste too much like coffee. Do you think I can add an espresso soak without it tasting too coffee-y?) 3. Can I add…. oil? Is an oil soak a thing? 4. Can I soak it with just a bit of water? 5. I’ve also thought of a mix of these, like maybe soy milk with espresso powder, or those two plus a bit of oil?
What would you do?
Other things I’ve considered: Some fruit filling (cake recipient is not a fan), alcohol (cake recipient doesn’t drink)

hopefully this is the correct flair!! just sharing my current samples i'm rotating, if anyone has tried these lmk what you think!
Ex Idolo - Love & Crime
Indult - Tihota
Lamar - Kajal
Fragrance du Bois - Santal Complet, Oud Jaune Intense
Mancera - Melody of the Sun
Thameen - Peregrina
DS&Durga - Debaser
Tiziana Terenzi - Kirke, Cassiopeia
Sospiro - Bel Canto, Vibrato, Contralto
BORNTOSTANDOUT - Drunk Saffron, Fig Porn
Xerjoff - Torino21, Cruz del Sur II, Apollonia, Accento Overdose, Nio
M. Micallef - Ylang in Gold
Memo - Inlé, Sherwood, Sintra, Lalibela
Initio - Atomic Rose
Van Cleef & Arpels - Santal Blanc
Alghabra - Sweet Reflection
Maison Crivelli - Hibiscus Mahajad
Akro - Bake
Giardini di Toscana - Bianco Latte
Comme des Garcons - Odeur Du Theatre Du Chatelet Acte 1
Liquide Imaginaires - Blanche Bête
Nishane - Ani
Matiere Premiere - Parisian Musc
Marissa Zappas - Annabel's Birthday Cake
Penhaligons - Changing Constance
Perris Monte Carlo - Ylang Ylang Nosy Be

I have a 7 month old baby boy, I'm breastfeeding but baby is currently weaning.
I'm convinced that my FIL is being weird about my breastfeeding and not in a "that makes me uncomfortable" way.
I made the baby popsicles from my boob milk a few months ago and FIL put in the group chat that "I'd love to try one of those" with a hearts as eyes emoji. I said "WTF they're made from breast milk" and he said he didn't notice that caption.
Today I baked the baby some muffins. It's a recipe that called for a half cup of breast milk so I made them per recipe. FIL came over unannounced and said "oh yum, someone's been baking" so I told him "those muffins are for the baby, they're just fruit, flour and breast milk. I have a normal cake we can have".
I then left the room to wash my hands, came back and one of the muffins was missing. I asked husband and he had no idea so I asked FIL and he said that he ate it. I said that's disgusting, I told him they were the babies and contained breast milk. He doubled down and said it's ok because "breast milk is vegan" (note, no one in this story is vegan). I told him he's a creepy pervert and to get the fuck out my house.
Husband is baffled by the whole thing and was convinced it was a misunderstanding even though I explicitly said they're made with breast milk.
FIL said I'm a dick because I'd made loads and the baby wouldn't miss out.
MIL was blowing up my phone until I asked her if she was really ok with FIL drinking milk that came direct from my breast, I think she didn't get the whole story.
My sisters say it's fucking gross and FIL is a weirdo.
UPDATE
I asked my husband what he thought I was mad about (he was in the room but on the other side and occupied with the baby) and he said he didn't realise that his dad actually ate the muffin, he thought I was pissed because he was messing with them. He also didn't remember the group chat incident but agreed that both incidents together is creepy.
I called MIL to "clear the air" and she revealed that FIL has always been "very interested" in lactation and she actually only fed husband for 4 months and always behind a locked door! Apparently he moved jobs after a woman complained that he kept intruding on her pumping in a designated space in the office.
I've told them FIL is not welcome around me and have asked for the key to our house back.
I shared the concerns about him tampering with my milk (and contaminating it) and also that if his own wife wanted him locked out then I'm entitled to that too.
The comment that hit my husband was the one about FIL getting off for years on the memory of eating the gross AF baby muffin. Husband said he won't be able to look FIL in the eye again.

Judges: Aarón Sánchez, Alex Guarnaschelli, Chris Santos
Chefs: Chris Coleman, Cindi Avila, Lucas Manteca, Robert Burmeister
Appetizer Ingredients: Asparagus, Chorizo, Button Mushrooms, Canned Peaches
Entrée Ingredients: Rice Cakes, Chicken Thighs, Yellow Plantains, Fruit Punch, Cocktail Onions
Dessert Ingredients: Beets, Goat Cheese, Oatmeal, Crystalized Ginger

Has anyone heard of a dessert called sunshine, I remember having it as a child in a restaurant in Iran, I think it had jelly, fruits, cream, ice cream and maybe cake in it, I tried finding a recipe online but there wasn't anything about it.

I run social groups for my work, for a specific group of people. The two ladies in question are both able minded and able bodied. They're both nightmares, constant complainers and have caused 3 staff to quit because they can't put up with their stuff anymore.
Last week, I organised a high tea party. I spent the entire day before baking stuff for it. Different flavours of cupcakes, scones, little pastries, sandwiches etc. One of the ladies has some allergies, so I found a recipe for a gluten free, nut free and dairy free cake and was so proud to make it for her.
I go into work an hour early, setting everything up and it looks beautiful. They arrive and Karen 1 says "well this looks like crap" upon entering into the room. My jaw dropped. Then she says "it's a lot of sugar here, I won't eat this shit". I pretend to not hear these comments and go into my office. Then I hear Karen 2 say that she can't eat anything here due to her allergies. So I come in and I show her the cake I made for her. That's when she tells me she can't eat it because she's allergic to icing. The icing being sugar and water I know this isn't true, I watch her put very normal average sugar in her cups of tea every day she's in. I explain this to her but she's insistent that all of a sudden she's allergic to icing. So I give up and leave.
When some of the other members come in I go in to greet them as I normally do. Karen 1 then questions why there are teacups on the table (you know, for the high tea party which has been planned for months now) then asks me if I'm going to control what she drinks out of and how dare I take away the mugs she usually uses. I point out that the mugs are still in the regular position, she can use whatever, it was just for the theme of the party. Karen 2 then states very angrily that she's annoyed she can't have a dessert due to me not caring about her icing allergy. She says all this while she has a half eaten cupcake on her plate. Both Karen 1 and 2 then complain that every single thing on the table to eat was "crap". From the sandwiches, desserts, iced tea and fresh fruit. They also complained about the movie I put on in the background which was Alice in Wonderland, asking me if I thought they were kids.
When I went back into my office Karen 1 stated to one of the workers that I should have personally consulted with her on the menu. Something I did 2 weeks before. Also consulted Karen 2 on what her allergies was and icing never came up.
On a normal day, they get a few cheap biscuits and coffee/tea for their morning tea because they don't pay for it and it's complimentary. But this big event was so thought out and they still didn't pay a cent and yet I have never heard someone complain about a free event or the food that comes with it. I love my job but holy fuck days like this make me not want to put in any effort. I continue to do so for the other members but it gets me really down.

I made a text transcription of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TS3hEEoD2vc youtube video for the recipes to upgrade your horse at malanya. It has all of the recipes for each upgrade (under stars), followed by the list of ingredients to make each recipe (under recipes). I find it much easier to read recipes from a list rather than replay 3 second long segments of a video so thought this might be useful for others too.
To upgrade your horse you need to go to Malanya who now lives just southwest of the Akkala tech lab. Give them an Endura carrot and they will let you upgrade horses if you bring him specific food. The food needed varies depending on what level you're upgrading from and what stat.
The star rating below is to 'get' that stat. So if you have a horse with 2 star strength you want the '3 star - strength' recipe. You have to do each numbered stat upgrade in order. You can't instantly make a 2 strength horse a 5 strength horse, you need to upgrade to 3 then 4 then 5 stars.
3 star

strength - 1 copious fried wild greens speed - 1 salt-grilled greens stamina - 1 herb saute pull - 1 veggie rice balls 

​
4 star

strength - 3 veggie rice balls, 3 copious fried wild greens speed - 3 glazed veggies, 3 steamed tomatoes stamina - 3 honeyed apple, 3 veggie porridge pull - 3 copious fried wild greens, 3 veggie porridge 

​
5 star

strength - 3 vegetable curry, 3 hot buttered apple, 3 carrot cake speed - 3 vegetable omelet, 3 veggie cream soup, 3 apple pie stamina - 3 vegetable risotto, 3 carrot stew, 3 cream of vegetable soup pull - 3 hot buttered apple, 3 carrot stew, 3 veggie cream soup 

​
recipes
​
(3 star)
copius fried wild greens - 4 or more distinct vegetables not mushrooms or fruit (between radish and stambulb)
salt grilled greens - vegetable + rock salt
herb saute - vegetable + goron spice
veggie rice balls - hylian rice + vegetable
​
(4 star)
glaxed veggies - courser bee honey + vegetable
steamed tomatoes - hylian tomato + flower (i.e. silent princess)
honeyed apple - courser bee honey + apple
veggie porridge - vegetable + rice + milk
​
(5 star)
vegetable curry - carrot + hylian rice + goron spice
hot buttered apple - goat butter + apple
carrot cake - tabantha wheat + cane sugar + goat butter + carrot
vegetable omelet - herb/veg/glour + bird egg + goat butter + rock salt
veggie cream soup - carrot + fresh milk + rock salt
apple pie - apple + goat butter + cane sugar + tabantha wheat
vegetable risotto - carrot + hylian rice + goat butter + rock salt
carrot stew - carrot + tabantha wheat + fresh milk + goat butter
cream of vegetable soup - milk + rock salt + vegetable
hot buttered apple - butter + apple
carrot stew - swift carrot + tabantha wheat + fresh milk + goat butter
veggie cream soup - carrot + fresh milk + rock salt

Week 22 will run from May 27th to June 2nd. This week’s theme is summer cocktails. Summer is finally upon us in the northern hemisphere. The weather is hot and the plants that were sown in spring have sprouted and are growing in earnest. What’s more, schools are or will soon be out on summer break and people who have been waiting for the chill of winter to go away are going out for sports, hiking, camping, swimming, and all manner of activities under the summer sun. With all this activity, a delicious cocktail is the perfect pairing.
Your challenge this week is to make a cocktail inspired by the summer season. This is a freeform theme and you are encouraged to interpret the theme as you see fit. Cocktails featuring a lot of fruits would be appropriate, as would your favorite boat drinks or frozen drinks. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• https://www.bonappetit.com/drinks/slideshow/summer-drinks-recipes
• https://www.liquor.com/summer-cocktails-5496392

I am so grateful to be part of this community. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about that this past week because I've had the house to myself (which means I can take up ALL the space with my carding supplies) and with all the meetup talks going on over on the meta sub. You are all so thoughtful and caring, please don't ever change! :) Anywho.. on to the official and specific thank-yous.
u/Jdoodle7 - I AM DYING! You sent me a towel!! Like, not only is that hilarious but also super thoughtful. Thank you so much! I had to send a picture to my boyfriend as he is also a Hitchhiker's nerd and he got a kick out of it, too. I am ashamed to admit that I didn't realize yesterday was Towel Day. I'm gonna have to put it on my calendar so I don't forget in the future. Can't forget rule #1! hahah Thank you again!!
u/ScoobySquads - OMG, I do believe this is my first fancy postmark! I'm so excited about it! I tried to explain how neat some postmarks are to someone last week so it's especially cool to now see one up close. Thank you for the book recommendation, as well. That sounds like something right up my alley. I'll look it up and add it to my TBR pile! Unfortunately, I'm not on IG atm or else I would follow you but if I ever reactivate then I'll look up your account!
u/yetanotherblankface - Wow, thank you so much for the reading and the drink recipe. Within the first sentence, I felt connected with what you said. I had to sit with the reading as whole for awhile and read it a over a few times to really grasp it, I think. It was powerful and exactly what I needed to hear, thank you. The cocktail recipe also sounds delicious! I had no idea there was such a thing as brown butter syrup but I am here for it. Big fan of brown butter, huge hahah Oh, and the stickers and the homemade card, too! My goodness, everything! It was an amazing card and I truly appreciate you taking the time to create it and send it to me :)
u/feellikebeingajerk - Thank you for the vintage kid-in-hats card and thank you for sharing the memory of your birthday party with me, too! I love looking back at old pictures, some of my favorites are of birthday parties from long ago. This might sound obtuse, but I never realized pie could be a birthday food until I started dating my boyfriend. He hates cake so we always do a pie for his birthday and at first, I was like.. who does that? Now I know but it's cool that you also had pie for your birthday! Anywho, thanks for the card and the little goodies inside! Oh, and cute washi tape! The strawberries are adorable!
u/DianaPenPal - Thank you for the abstract art postcard and the haiku to match! It took me a second to realize the two were connected but I got it eventually hahah Your haiku immediately made me think of my local farmer's market. There's always so many stalls with bundles upon bundles of beautiful bouquets for sale!
u/PMmeifyourepooping - Okay, where to start?! Let's start on the outside and work our way in. I LOVE the guinea pig stickers you put on the envelope. Do you remember where you found them? One of my best friends had piggies and she would get such a kick out of them. Really, all of your stickers are so darn cute -- teeny tiny little bears and piggies! I love it! And the Winnie the Pooh washi tape? *chefs kiss* perfection. The card is amazing, as well! I got a good chuckle from the pun on the front but then I turned it around and saw that the makers of it donate a portion to aid in the education of women and children. I'm going to check out their website after I'm done with this post. I had no idea that Bill Martin Jr. was near illiterate until college age. That is astounding! And then to go on and get his PhD? Mind-blowing! Last but not least, I can't believe you sent me some Strega Nona stamps! I just tried to buy some from my post office today buy they were sold out. Thank you x1million! Sorry for the novel but I just needed to let you know how much I appreciated it all!
u/melhen16 - Thank you for the giant postcard! The little western post office on the front is super cute! I also did not know that about USPS stamps. I'd love to see a stamp from way back in 1860 -- I'll have to look it up after this.

Fruit Juice Cocktails
Servings: 4 Source: Choice Recipes and Menus using Canned Foods
INGREDIENTS
1 cup juice drained from canned fruit (peaches, pears, apricots, etc.), up to 1 1/4 cups total
1 cup ginger ale
2 teaspoons lemon juice
DIRECTIONS
Chill fruit juice and ginger ale thoroughly. When ready to serve, mix together; add lemon juice and serve in chilled cocktail glasses. Garnish with lemon slices, mint and cherries.
Metropolitan Cook Book, 1964

I need some suggestions for late night food options.
The evening will be pretty typical. The cocktail hour starts around 5:30pm and we will be providing cheeses, meats, fruits and vegetables, pretty basic cocktail hour food. Then we will have a catered buffet dinner around 6:30-7 and the reception is supposed to go on until 11. We will not be having a dessert table and are only serving cake.
Well my sister said that my guests will be hungry later in the evening and I should provide some type of late night food. As someone who loves to eat, I am perfectly fine with this idea and would love to provide some type of late night food. However, we don't have much wiggle room in the budget since we are 4 months out and hadn't factored in this specific expense. So as much as I love the "rent a food truck" idea, we don't have that much to splurge on it unfortunately.
My fiance suggested pizzas, but I myself don't eat dairy (and am not a fan of pizza in general) and I have some vegan guests attending that I would also like to feed. So without breaking the bank, what are some good late night food suggestions that might make everyone happy?

I've found these super useful while planning my wedding (5/19/23- a week wed tomorrow!) so I thought I'd give back and share some of our thoughts, figures, regrets, etc!
So we started with a budget of 20k. We tried to allot it towards the stuff that was going to be expensive no matter what (venue, food) and to the stuff we cared about (photos, flowers), moreso than to "wedding stuff" that was traditional. I think we for the most part succeeded, however we did end up overbudget by far. I knew there would be surprise expenses but I underestimated them.
Overall goals: we both wrote down some dream goals for the wedding when we started to plan. It is a bit bittersweet to look back on those notes now because the wedding definitely took on a bit of a life of its own, and I think our goals did get a bit lost along the way. I wrote: Cinderella (2015) garden party wildflowers, black cat motifs, Taylor Swift, Mamma Mia vibes, delicate, whimsical, floral. He wrote: live band, ice cream cake, food truck, vibey, lowkey, fun.
Venue: (ceremony): $750. We got married at our church which could have been even cheaper but we added a few hundred for a donation to the general fund. The breakdown was a $100 cleaning fee, $300 musician fee (would have been lower but we asked the music director to learn a few new pieces for the service and wanted to compensate him for the extra work). The church is a gorgeous old Chicago church that we've been attending just over a year. We loved getting married there- the religious element was important to us, and our church community was so happy for us to get married there. It was a pretty church so we didn't really need to decorate it, which saved money as well.
Venue (reception): Firehouse Chicago ($6k). link. We looked for venues for a while and toured a few. Our guest count was sort of in between the cozy dinner party vibe we wanted, and the giant repurposed warehouse/ballrooms that most of the venues felt like. Smaller spaces that were still beautiful were wildly costly. But we liked Firehouse- it was pretty/unique enough looking that we wouldn't have to cover the place with decor to make it look halfway decent. My only regret about the venue is that it rained on our wedding morning, so they set up these big white tents outside, covering up the courtyard- and the tents were not very cute- the tops of them all stained from tree debris, etc. The courtyard was beautiful- fairy lights, flowers, Chicago brick buildings surrounding it, old trees- it felt like a little secret garden. But with the tents up... you are just in a white tent with stains on the top. I wish I'd made a better plan for rain or thought seriously about what to do and if I still liked the venue in rain mode. And it wasn't even raining by the evening! D: The tents weren't even necessary. But they were up and everything in them setup so there was no taking them down. Oh well. The venue also could have been cheaper - we added their candles for $150 (they strew a bunch of candles around for you) and their getting ready room ($500) for my bridesmaids and me to get ready in. We also took a bunch of pictures up there- it's a beautiful getting ready space. Very vintage feeling. The staff was very helpful to work with, though there were a few restrictions on vendors which we didn't love. They wanted us to use a catering vendor off their approved vendors list, and literally every single caterer would have been over 10k. We ended up going off the list (which would have incurred a small charge- not greater than the difference between that and 10k!) and since they had worked with that caterer before, they didn't charge us the fee- but still. Approved vendor lists sometimes are just a list of pricey people you can't opt out of. The staff of Firehouse was great, and the cost included people to set up your decor for you in the morning, a drop off time the day before with someone to listen to how you wanted things set up, and someone at the event all day to handle any emergencies / guide the staff for the room flip. Dinner is one setup of tables, and then you go outside for a toast/cake cutting, and the staff changes the floor around / takes away some tables to clear space for a dance floor, which was nice optimization of the space. The staff was awesome- they listened to my thoughts about what should go where, took my hampers of table numbers and a giant crossword and a guestbook tablecloth and card box and favors and 50 plus vases of flowers- all this stuff- and set it up beautifully. Prettier than I could have. I didn't have to fix a single thing. When I came downstairs in my wedding dress to go to the church, the place looked incredible. Husband wants me to add that we might have gone with a different reception space if we had known when we started planning that we were going to do the ceremony elsewhere. Part of the appeal of Firehouse was it had the pretty outdoor space where we could have a ceremony. But if we'd gone with a restaurant elsewhere, it would have been probably half the cost (since it would have combined food and venue).
Catering: City BBQ ($4,728, this is with gratuity included.) We had barbecue catering and it was delicious- we got a lot of compliments on the food. Brisket, turkey, mac n cheese, green beans, corn bread, potato salad, buns, and chocolate cake for dessert. They also did some fruit and cheese trays during cocktail hour. It took us weeks of searching last fall to find a caterer that wouldn't be over 10k for our number of guests but it was so worth the search. Chicago ups the cost on sooo many things but there are still some places you can find something cost effective if you put in a lot of time looking. We had wanted to do a food truck, particularly a taco truck, but they were all super expensive. We talked to three of them and it was going to be over 12k, some closer to 15k. We decided we didn't care that much abt the food truck and just wanted something tasty- ideally not the plated classic wedding dinners. So we had the buffet from City BBQ, and it was lovely. They were super nice to work with, and their head caterer came to our walkthrough at the venue a month prior and worked out the timeline etc with the venue coordinator. They did all the serving, setup, clean up, behind the scenes- they were awesome. So worth the money. I saw a lot of recommendations of just get some big tin trays of food and have family / friends manage the serving, but to me it was sooo worth it to have people working the event. I wanted my family and friends to be enjoying themselves.
Bar: Drinks On Us ($2k, gratuity included). The drinks were good. They provided two bartenders (one for the inside bar, one for the outside), and all the alcohol. I went with the package that had one red wine, one white wine, three kinds of beers, all sodas and such, and one custom cocktail (grapefruit fizz and vodka). The going back and forths with this vendor was a little frustrating- they have a faulty system, so as soon as I made a payment, the next day they send an email with vaguely grim language about a payment being over due- "take the easy way out and pay now before incurring 15% fees". The first time (initial deposit in December) I emailed them all alarmed. They said oh don't worry it just does that. The second time (paying the full balance in early May), I was more irritated. I'd just paid $1400, I'm managing giant payments to vendors left and right, and it's telling me I'm overdue and need to PAY NOW. It was unprofessional and a little menacing. The people were great, but the email system they have in place really soured me on them. They were very apologetic. I think I'd still recommend them, but know that you might get faulty emails warning you about late payments and fees.
Cake: Bittersweet Pastry, $140 (link we got this cake in pink and white for the cake cutting picture. Guests had chocolate cake from the caterer. The cake was beautiful, but not that good lol. But still worth it I think. This was a semi last minute addition as I realized we didn't have anything to cut for a picture.
Rehearsal dinner: A restaurant near our church. I believe this was around 2k, but my husband's parents paid for this. We had sliders and french fries and an open bar. The rehearsal was a lot of fun- the format of the room was a little restrictive, but it felt private to just our group, and it was super close to our church so we could walk right over after the rehearsal.
Marriage license: $60
Officiant: $0 (our priest officiated, she did not take a fee since our church considers marriage a sacrament and part of the duties of the church. We do donate to the church regularly though so you could consider that to be part of the fee.)
Ceremony music: see above church fee- it was about $300 but tied into the church fee
Photographer: Artbelka (Mariya Byelikova) Photography, $3,800. link. This got us seven hours of shooting, and we will have a gallery of pix as soon as she is done editing them. Photos were very important to me and I loved her style. We did engagement pictures with her, and both my husband and I are a little nervous in front of the camera. She set us at ease and got great movement pictures of us- very natural and candid and documentary style, while still having that stylish cinematic sort of feeling. We loved working with her- I'm hoping to do yearly pics with her or something. She was incredible. She also came to our rehearsal the day before because our church is in the round and is a slightly awkward space to photograph. And we last minute added an hour (we were originally set to do six hours) because we were either going to miss getting ready pics for me, or the special dances on the other end of the day, and she added an hour like 3 days prior to the wedding, no problem. Highly recommend her!
Videographer: Initially, Birch Films (James Birch Eiesland), for what was supposed to be $750 for a local Chicago videographer. It turned out he was from Minneapolis and finishing up school so he'd have to travel to Chicago and added a $200 travel fee. ok... well why are you listing yourself as local? Anyway... 12 days before the wedding he cancelled and refunded our money due to a family emergency. We scrambled and a friend of a friend who has a photography business was able to jump in. Paige Evans photography. This cost about $1200 but they also were doing it SUPER last minute, and they in general seemed more professional than James. (When we asked him how he was going to capture audio during the ceremony since vows are usually kind of quiet, and the videographer is standing a ways away, he said "his camera will pick up the audio". When we asked Paige how they would get the audio, she said they have a mic for the officiant and one for my husband. Just a glimpse into - you get what you pay for sort of thing.) They shot video of the entire ceremony, entire set of speeches/toasts, first dances- and caught highlights of other moments like dancing, guests, etc. They'll be sending me a 1 minute highlight reel in the next week or so I believe for social media, and the full videos will come later. Husband's parents paid for video, so I am not counting it towards our total.
Flowers: Romee Willow Floral, ($2k) link. Flowers were one of the most important things to me- I wanted a wildflower sort of feeling, a garden party vibe even though our wedding is in the city. I got quotes from a few florists and I really liked Romee Willow. I sent them my Pinterest board of flower inspo and they made a mood board and we talked through which flowers would be available right now, and the most important colors to me (yellow, light pink, light blue) and the shape of the bouquet, etc. They provided one bridal bouquet, 4 bridesmaids bouquets, 10 boutonnieres, 2 mom wrist corsages, a flower crown and basket of petals for the flower girl, and 54 bud vases of flowers for the tables at the reception. We originally were going to rent the vases and return them, but we wanted people to be able to take the flowers home (we couldn't, since we have cats) so we ended up getting vases off amazon link and everyone was able to take the flowers home in their cute vases. LOVED our florals. She beyond delivered. It would have been cheaper if we hadn't had the rental vases in our original contract, but she added more flowers to make up for the difference of not having the rentals. She perfectly caught the vision of what I wanted, and even though some of the flowers I wanted weren't in season (rip black eyed susans, queen anne's lace, etc) she made great substitutes. link to some pics we snapped of the flowers
Flower preservation: Bloom and Make ($600) link This was a last minute addition as I panicked two weeks prior to the wedding and realized I would want to preserve the bouquet. I wanted it pressed into a flat picture frame to hang on the wall, and I also added a pair of flower earrings. We'll be working together on this as the flowers come out of the press to see which ones look nice still and how I want to do it. I kept my bouquet in water overnight and we drove it to her house the day after the wedding. Very excited to work with her- I love her stuff on her website. She had great insight about colors too- apparently white flowers don't press that well, and reds turn brownish? She was excited to press my bouquet because it was so colorful. I can't wait to see how it turns out!
Other Decosignage/DIYs: $600ish. This was all very random stuff. Little gold wire stands to put the table numbers on. Templates to make the seating chart and name cards and table number cards. I got the templates off of etsy and made them on templett, and printed them at Staples. We did a custom crossword from etsy which was about $40 (on sale!) so we provided about 40 questions and answers, and this lady assembled it into a gorgeous "sip n solve" crossword for us. We printed it on laminated paper and got expo markers and a big poster board on an easel for cocktail hour. We also had little paper ones I printed at home if people wanted to try the crossword themselves. Probably about $60 to get the poster printed. I got a tablecloth off of ebay (still in package) for $20- super nice linen hemstitched tablecloth- and we had that set up almost like a blank canvas, for people to sign as a guest book. We also had a board of family wedding pics from our parents and grandparents' wedding days, and had that leaning on the wall behind the card box and matchboxes. All this stuff was super fiddly and time consuming- nothing individually that expensive, but just took time to make and think through what I wanted. I think they all turned out really nice though- especially the tablecloth. I plan to embroider on everyone's messages, and bring it out for holidays and have whoever attends the holiday sign it and date it- trace kids' hands, etc. A living heirloom. :) Our card box was a big yellow bread box from Michaels for $12- I didn't want a "card box" I'd literally never use again, so I got something I think is cute (I love yellow) and I'll use it as decofun storage. We also had an embroidered guest book from Rifle Paper co that was an impulse purchase in the last cpl weeks- I got worried that older guests might not sign the tablecloth and would be looking for a traditional "guest book". That did in fact happen. I'm going to try and transfer their signatures over to the guest tablecloth if I can. I made the matchbook design on my ipad and sent it to someone who had them made into matchboxes for me- about $100 for 100 matchboxes as our wedding favors. I was briefly worried no one would take any but MIL marched around with the basket and gave everybody a matchbox so we only have about 30 left which is a true miracle. Bless her heart. link to tablecloth results / inspo, and some other DIY stuff.
Invitations, Save the dates, postage: $400. I used a template on canva for the save the dates, and those were prob about $60. I found a template on Etsy and made the invitations on templett for the wedding- it's a beautiful art nouveau Mucha green frame. Those were also probably about $60-70. Most of the money here went to stamps. I love stamps. I made envelopes that match the garden party / floral vibe, but also that sort of corresponded to each guest's personality a bit. My sister who likes turtles, got a turtle stamp. My friend from ballet class got a ballerina stamp. I just really like stamps. This was an excellent excuse to get a lot of MNH stamps off of ebay I'd been eyeing for years and use them on my stationery. stationery pics
DJ: Just Press Play Productions (originally $550, but we had $9.60 added on). Very mixed feelings on this vendor. I think you get what you pay for. Most DJs were like 2k and we were reaaaally looking to save money by this time. This one was on the preferred vendors list, and they were super cheap, and brought the speakers / microphone themselves, and all we had to do (in theory) was provide the playlists and a device for the music to be played on. When I paid them, I got an irritated email about the fact that I turned on purchase protection (they requested we pay thru venmo, to avoid the credit card fees.) They requested I pay the extra nine dollars and sixty cents, and said it didn't benefit them to have the protection on, and that "they have never not shown up for their customers". I was like ...... but I paid the nine dollars, and decided to reserve judgment. They told us to make a couple of playlist- one of fast songs, one of slow songs, and one with the special music for the first dances, anniversary dance, last dance, etc. We did so. We had a call with the DJ a few days pre wedding and went over his script/transitions. He was going to announce tables for dinner, announce the speeches/transition between them, announce the dances, etc. He did some of those things. We had to do some of the transitions ourselves- everyone gave their toasts and speeches, and then we had to kind of say "that's all the speeches, thank you" and he was just standing there. The music was way too loud. We asked him a few times to turn it down, but if he did, it never took. It was super super loud during dinner, and during dancing. He texted me during the ceremony (I didn't see it till i got home that night lol) "where is the cocktail hour playlist". I didn't know we needed to make one of those- we made a slow song playlist and a fast/dance song playlist, as they had said most people do. It wasn't that he was bad... it just wasn't ideal. We should have looked into it a little more and realized we needed a cocktail hour playlist. And the email chiding us for the purchase protection thing and requesting the nine dollars really made me laugh.
Attire (groom): Husband got his suit made from scratch from an online try on place called Lords of Wool. I'm not sure if we would do it again. It was a lot of hassle to take the measurements and try and figure out what was going to be the closest fit, and when the suit arrived (cost abt $500) he still had to go to a tailor to get it altered. I think it would be easier to just go to someone to get a suit made for you locally. The suit was a light blue linen- really pretty- which was why we didn't go with a bigger name brand - nobody had that specific color. His parents paid for his suit, so I am not counting it towards our total.
Attire (bride): Here's where I really would do stuff different. I got my dress ($2k originally, more like 3.5 with alterations) from Diana's Bridal (not to be confused with David's Bridal!). The alterations cost a lot- even though there really wasn't much that needed to be altered. It fit me pretty well. They took the bust and waist in a little bit, and hemmed the dress, and added a bustle. I think we got "wedding charged" a bit. And then the real reason I am a bit bummed about this aspect is I ultimately decided to wear my mom's wedding dress for the ceremony. 3 grand later- I'm wearing a dress I had all along. So fricking silly. I wore my Diana's bridal dress to the reception, but it was a very full ballgown on little spaghetti straps. Beautiful (I still love it!) but super super heavy. Not very danceable. And I still have welts on my shoulders from those beaded spaghetti straps chopping into my shoulders with the weight of the giant ballgown all night. The bustle failed bc of course it did- it is a super heavy skirt- and my mom had to safety pin it up. I never ended up wearing the veil I got for this dress (it was this one but it was only $100 when i purchased it because the veil was for the ceremony. And by the week of the wedding I was eyeing stuff like this on ebay and just wishing I'd been more true to myself and gotten some vintage dress for less than a thousand dollars, a little more danceable, maybe even rewearable- and not felt like I had to get a "wedding dress". Oh well. You live and you learn. dresses
Hair and makeup: Nika Vaughan ($1430) link. This cost included hair and makeup for me and for two of my bridesmaids- so six hours and six services. My stylist was Lia. She did a great job for the most part! When we did the trial in March, I thought I was going to be wearing the ballgown for the ceremony. So we did loose curls and a little braid for the veil to sit in, and it was beautiful! Get to the wedding day and I'm wearing my mom's dress which has this Edwardian like high collar. I have long hair- curls/down is going to fight with the collar of the dress. But I knew I was going to switch to the ballgown later. So I said what can we do hairwise that's still sort of Rapunzely, that I can take out later and it's still curly and pretty down. So she had to sort of improvise on the day of, and she did a french braid, which isn't my favorite. Oh well. And the flowers she wove into my hair looked sort of straggly- there were daisies and things but she picked these little evergreen looking things that didn't go that great in my hair in my opinion. Oh well. The makeup was beautiful! And the hair came down post ceremony and had gorgeous curls still. I would definitely recommend them- I didn't like "bridal makeup" and wanted something more natural and modern, and they definitely delivered.
Rings: I just used my engagement ring as the wedding band again- it doesn't stack well- ($140 off of etsy, can't find the link anymore but here it is on me) and he got this ring from Ethereal Bloom for $55.
Other outfits (mostly bride): $350. I got a dress from Asos link for the bridal shower and somehow have no pictures in it. It's a great dress though, I will wear it again! Got a little clip in veil from Lulus for $30 for the rehearsal dinner, and a dress from Anthropologie for $176 for the rehearsal dinner, and shoes from Target for $26. rehearsal dinner dress.
Bridesmaid and groomsman and flower girl/ring bearer attire: I wanted each bridesmaid in a different color- we did lavender, light blue, light pink, and light green. I wanted yellow originally but they all begged me not to make them wear yellow. So I put the flowers girls in yellow lol. I did a survey of each girl's size, budget for a dress, and requested color of (pink lavender green blue yellow), and once each had a color, I looked online and found 5 dresses for each girl within the price range they listed, with their size available, in the sort of garden party fairy vibe I wanted. They then picked the dress they liked best from the 5 options. Somehow, all four bridesmaids ended up picking dresses in almost the same cut and fabric, so it looks like I told them "this dress!" but it all worked out. They looked great. two of the bridesmaids. I had a flower girl and ring bearer who were kids, and two babies to be "jr" flower girl and ring bearers. I put the girls in adorable yellow dresses, and the boys had kids / baby versions of what the groomsmen wore. I did not care about the groomsmen attire at all- they did khaki vests because they all had khaki pants already, over a white shirt. I sent each of them a link to a tie in a color matching the bridesmaids- pink, green, blue, lavender. They looked great too.
Other costs: Thankful registry ($30). Definitely recommend registering with Thankful! So convenient to use different websites across the internet- can do literally any store you want, and can attach your paypal/stripe accounts for people to send cash. They also compile a thank you note list with who gave what and when, and little notes from the gift-givers. Other random costs... we used Minted for the wedding website which was free. Definitely recommend! Our website is beautiful and looks like us, and has my lily of the valley motif which I love. We also did both digital and physical RSVPs which worked really well. Plenty of people mailed their RSVPs but a lot of the younger ppl did online. And we could just go in and enter the online stuff for people who lost their card in the mail and/or weren't tech savvy. We had a bridesmaid suite for us to stay in night before the wedding: $218. Half of us ended up not even staying there lol- one of my bridesmaids brought a plus one and she was going to be staying there with us without us knowing that ahead of time... so me and one friend just slept at our own houses (we live in Chicago) and the bridesmaid suite became moreso this one girl and her plus one, and one of my sisters. Oh well lol. For the wedding night we thought abt a hotel room but it never happened and we were happy to just come home to our cute cats and our nice apartment.
total cost: $26,524
tldr; we had a beautiful wedding. We were 6k over budget... some of that was stuff I would definitely change (skip the Diana's bridal dress and get something 3k cheaper), some of that was stuff we forgot to include (we added tip into the totals on things and hadn't had that factored into the original budget, that was definitely over a grand across all the vendors), and some of it was just stuff you don't know you need until you're buying gold wire table number holders on amazon two weeks before the wedding. If I did it again I'd do it different in some ways, but most of the things came out great. And I am SO relieved and happy to be done. Thank goodness we are married and it's done and it was beautiful. Despite the rain.
If you have any questions about anything let me know! I hope this helps other Chicago brides/grooms on a budget. It's expensive out here but we did our best to keep costs low.

Note: where applicable I converted from CAD to USD because I am American
Section One: Bio
Age: 25 (as of Sunday!)
Occupation: Market Development in the EV space – this and my salary are new since my last diary
Hometown: Hudson County, NJ, but left from my parents’ house in the Hudson Valley because it shortened the drive and I used my dad’s car
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: 10 days of PTO, plus 2 personal days, plus you can buy up to 5.5 additional days out of your paycheck which I did, plus I get every other Friday off and can move my Fridays around for trips. So for this I moved my Friday and took my two personal days.
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Retirement Balance (and how you got there): like 3k in my account at my old job because I left before matching vested, nothing in my new account yet because I set it up a couple weeks ago but the withdrawing hasn’t started yet. If I stay at this job two years I will be eligible for a pension.
Equity if you're a homeowner (and how much you put down & how you accumulated that payment): N/A
Savings account balance: 11,000
Checking account balance: 35,000 I know this is super high but my housing situation is about to drastically change – my roommate who owns all the furniture is moving out and I’ll be staying in the apartment myself, so I want to keep the liquidity for now
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): none, I pay off every month
Student loan debt (for what degree): none, I have a bachelor’s and master’s from SUNY schools and the low in-state tuition and upstate COL + merit scholarships + parents covered it
Anything else that's applicable to you: I took this trip with my twin who makes $55,000
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: still normalizing as my deductions start getting processed, but roughly 6,000. I’ve only gotten two paychecks so far.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: none
Any Other Monthly Income Here: none but I am an authorized user on my parents’ CC and because this was a birthday trip they covered misc expenses
Section Four: Travel Expenses
Transportation: nothing except gas costs because I drove my dad’s car. And the emotional toll of the drive, of course.
Accommodations: $1167 for four nights in a nice hotel with a pool and hot tub in downtown Montreal. This is the total and my sister and I split it half and half. It includes an additional charge for garage parking.
Pre-Vacation Spending: nothing specific to this trip
Please include the spending for each category as well as the total.
Food + Drink: $243
Fun / Entertainment: $146 – I included gift shop souvenirs in this category
Home + Health: $0
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $46
Section Five Use this section to share how you afforded this trip.
I did not save specifically for this trip, I recently got a large raise and had a decent chunk in savings regardless. Parts of the trip were also subsidized by my parents because it was a birthday trip with my twin.
Thursday 5/18:
Morning: woke my sister up at 8:30 and we hit the road by 10, we met at my parents’ house on Wednesday night. My dad generously filled up the car before we left so I don’t need to worry about that for at least a couple more hours.
Afternoon: stop in Lake George for a nice, leisurely lunch to stretch our legs and walk around the lake a bit. We pay $27 for okay food at the slowest pizzeria I’ve ever been to in my life as well as $2 for lot parking because I refuse to parallel park, ever. I should add here that this vacation is on “hard mode” because my sister and I do not do indoor dining and unfortunately many places have gotten rid of outdoor dining that was set up earlier in the pandemic, so at points our options were limited. Back in the car after spending an hour in the town. I hadn’t been to Lake George in over a decade so it was a nice if brief visit. Stop and spend $30 on gas because I can’t emotionally handle having less than a half tank. The gas is on my parents’ card and won’t be counted in the total.
Getting through customs is mercifully easy and we check in to the hotel a little after 4. I only cry once, while trying to drive through downtown Montreal.
Evening: we venture out to find some dinner and walk a mile to a restaurant we went to when we were last in Montreal in 2017, only to find that their outdoor dining is not in fact open. It is a tiny bit chilly out so we run into this issue two more times before finding a place whose patio is available. I get a rack of lamb with polenta (delicious!) and some sort of whiskey sour. $52 including 20% tip, I love the exchange rate. We go back to the hotel and spend some time in the pool before heading out to a dispensary. My sister gets two joints and a weed seltzer, but I don’t do weed so have no idea how much she spent.
After dinner my sister and I REALLY wanted to go to a rooftop bar and we find a place with a fun looking cocktail menu on top of a hotel. I get a weird cocktail that mixes tequila, absinthe, and some other stuff that I’m not sure of. It’s really good! My sister manages to spill her frozen drink all over herself, the table, and the floor after only having 3 sips of it, so I buy her another drink because she is obviously so defeated. I do not drop this event for the rest of the trip and change her name in my phone to “banana colada.” $53 for three cocktails and tip, but my sister reimburses me for tip because she insisted I tip a full 20% to try and compensate for the cleanup that will be needed from her drink
Daily total: $134
Friday 5/19:
Morning: Our first day! We start with online ordering takeout bagel sandwiches and iced coffees from a nearby local chain, $22 which we split between the two of us. Our first plan for today is the botanical garden so I buy tickets for both of us on my phone for $25 while we walk to the metro stop. We each get a 3 day metro pass for $16/each. The garden is lovely although we are a bit too early in the season for the roses. After a beautiful and only slightly sunburnt couple of hours at the garden, my sister books us tickets for the fine arts museum on her phone and we go to the gift shop. Nothing really impresses me but I get an insectarium themed reusable bag because we don’t have one and my sister got a bunch of stuff that needs carrying $17
Afternoon: Museum of fine arts was maybe a mistake because we are both already so, so tired, but we persevere and make it through the entire Canadian art pavilion. We breeze through the international art pavilion because neither of us particularly care for the pre-modernism sections and also it’s basically the same as it was in 2017. The gift shop here is somewhat more gratifying and I get a polar bear keychain designed by an indigenous artist as well as a magnet for my parents. $11
Evening: We didn’t have lunch because we went right from the botanical garden to the museum so decide to head right to yesterday’s failed restaurant for an early dinner. Their patio is open today and we split an order of calamari, each get our own order of moules frites, and each get a strawberry daiquiri. $70 including tip but my sister pays with the agreement that I’ll get our next big meal
Daily total: $80
Saturday 5/20
Morning: same routine and breakfast as yesterday, $22 again. Today is my personal highlight, the national rail museum! My sister paid for the tickets as a thanks for me driving us to and from Montreal. I drive us to the museum because it’s basically a suburban train yard and there is no good public transit option.
Afternoon: I have an absolute blast, take a million photos, and we spend $3 paid for by my sister to add a vintage trolley ride to our visit. I go absolutely ham at the gift shop and spend $31 on a shot glass, a wind-up train car, an Exporail tote bag, and a silly little keychain that says “trains!” on it. I drive us back to the hotel and we have a late and heavy lunch. We each get a burger and fries, my sister gets a whiskey lemonade, and I get a raspberry mojito. I pay, $65. We go to the temporary exhibit the contemporary art museum has set up, $15 split between us. It’s a quick visit and then we walk over to Barbie Expo, which is free and delightful. Twilight Barbies! Celebrity Barbies! After the Barbie Expo we walk up to Mont Royal Park and just sit there a bit.
Evening: Because our lunch was so late and heavy we pick up premade charcuterie boards at a grocery store, $22. Spend the rest of the evening in the hotel and book tickets to the Biodome in the morning, $25.
Daily total: $138
Sunday 5/21
Morning: Birthday birthday birthday! Open the cards from our parents which they sent us with, they also tell us to put everything on their card for today. I will therefore note how much things cost but not include them in a total, except for my sister’s present and museum tickets. Breakfast from a different place, bagel sandwiches and mochas $22. We then head to the metro for the Biodome. It’s not really my thing but my sister is utterly enchanted, particularly by the penguins. At the gift shop I cover her stuff, which is a couple of penguin things, as a birthday present $30
Afternoon: My sister really wanted to go to the geology museum but didn’t actually check their hours, and they’re closed on weekends. The next best options is the archeology museum which is conveniently also at the old port, so we head there on the metro and I book the museum tickets on our way, $25. The layout of the museum is a little confusing but they have a really cool exhibit on pirates! We speed through the ancient Egypt exhibit because it’s really crowded and impossible to get close to most of the displays. Gift shop is a bust so we head out for a late lunch. My sister presciently chooses a restaurant with an awning which pays off when the sky opens for a 15 minute torrential downpour that was not in the forecast. Lunch is a charcuterie board, ricotta on crostini, and a peach bellini for each of us. I remember it cost a premium because it was by the waterfront but I did not record the cost.
Sister really wanted to go to a particular bagel store which is really out of our way and I am less than gracious about it, particularly when the store is so popular that we need to wait outside just to go in and order. The store also does not accept international debit or credit cards so I run to an ATM that is mercifully on the corner and take out 20CAD, 9CAD/$7ish goes to her half dozen bagels. We take a bus that gets us within a mile of our hotel and walk the rest because the weekend buses apparently only run once an hour?
Evening: After decompressing in the hotel room for a bit we head back to the old port and just explore the waterfront for a while. There’s a refreshing breeze and the river is beautiful. We wander until we get hungry and wind up getting a birthday dinner at the first place with outdoor dining that has a decent looking menu. It’s a tapas (style?) meal of duck breast cooked with figs, calamari, and a spicy sausage with some sort of cauliflower thing. Plus a side salad because we’ve been neglecting our vegetables on this trip. I get a margarita but my sister who has stomach problems sticks to the tap water. $89 after tip.
Instead of getting dessert at the restaurant we walk to a bakery to get a “birthday cake,” aka she gets a chocolatine and I get a chocolate caramel…cronut? That’s not what they call it but that’s what it feels like. She also gets a bottle of water because she wants to stop and smoke the last of her joint on the walk back to the hotel. $12 paid by sister
Daily total: $62
Monday 5/22:
Morning: I get up before my sister because I am experiencing severe driving anxiety and I go out and get us the same breakfast as yesterday, $22. We manage to get checked out and leave the hotel a little after 10 and the drive is smooth until the US-Canada border. I remembered that US customs is slower than Canadian but they only have three lanes open and it takes two hours to go basically 1000 meters. People keep trying to cut the lines and it’s making an even bigger snarl. We got to the border a little past 11 and do not make it to the actual customs until 1:30.
Afternoon: tiktok voice it got worse but I think it’s about to get worser. After finally getting to customs and answering the questions they tell me to pull my car over for a search, I’m then told to leave everything in my car and go in the building. We go in and wait until two agents pull us into one of the questioning rooms. They keep asking us where we went and what we bought and my sister and I get increasingly confused until the guy finally informs us that we set off the weed-sniffing K-9 and we need to admit whether we have weed before they find it. But we have no weed! Our dirty laundry probably reeks because I was sitting downwind of my sister every time she smoked but there is no actual weed in the car because we’re not idiots who would take a federally illegal drug through a federal border. Tip: I am so fucking mad. The customs agent has the nerve to wish us a happy birthday after they go through all our stuff and find nothing.
Burned a crazy amount of gas just waiting on the line so I stop at the first station on the US side of the border, $30 while my sister goes in and gets us gas station hot dogs and a bottle of Diet Coke. The next 4 hours unfold uneventfully and we make it to our parents’ house at around 6.
Daily total: $52

We’re at it again! For those who might be new or reading one of these for the first time, this is a series where I have my unsuspecting best friend take a sniff of my latest batch of indie perfume vials, and we find out how different our impressions are. He has no experience with perfume or cologne outside of this series, but has a pretty different palate from me and the life experience to recognize a whole bunch of things I totally wouldn’t. Like a Hefeweizen. (IYKYK.) Since this post is pretty huge (these were sniffed over the course of a few weeks!), I will be posting our thoughts on my Hagroot order later, perhaps in a few days.
Alkemia Baccante (High bush blueberries, wild ivy, Spanish lavender, aged oakmoss, tonka, decaying bark, and forest fungi.)

• What I smell: Blueberry and a mix of earthy notes that keep it from turning to blueberry candy. Earthy notes come out more on skin.
• What he smells: He’s anosmic to the blueberry and says this reminded him of gym socks. Alas.

Astrid Acorns (Oakwood absolute, oakmoss, knotted sticks and branches, and amaretti cookie crumbs.)

• What I smell: Amaretti cookies in the vial. Combination of wood, cookies, and what I assume are oak tannins on skin. If forest fairies made cookies, this is what they would smell like.
• What he smells: Cookies! He guessed coffee cakes first, which is damn well close enough.
• Author’s note: This is one of my favorite scents I’ve tried so far, and Astrid seems to agree with my skin chemistry too!

Black Baccara London Fog Latte (Black tea, warm vanilla, and lavender.)

• What I smell: Tea, herbal lavender, a little vanilla but not enough to sweeten it up.
• What he smells: “Oof! That’s really astringent. Almost like tile cleaner.” I think that’s down to a combination of BB’s black tea and the very herbal lavender.

Black Hearted Tart Let Me Sleep (Lavender intertwined with sprigs of rosemary and stems of sage. Balsamic amyris oil. Lilac and geranium florals. Leather bound books on teakwood shelves. A dark musk base of cedar and sandalwood.)

• What I smell: Lilac soap.
• What he smells: Confused at first, but thinks he gets the sandalwood, lilac, lavender, and soapy impression.
• Author’s note: While we both think the name Peonile is hilarious, unfortunately we think that’s what goes soapy to both our noses (thanks again to Joelle at Poesie for the lead on that). For my part, I think I’ll be avoiding geranium in the future unless I know the component used is either natural or a different synthetic. Additionally, BHT’s base is not a good fit for me so I won’t be trying more from this house.

Black Hearted Tart Paris Is Burning (Crème brûlée accord comprised of creamy vanilla bean custard with a caramelized sugar top. A sweet, milky, vanilla musk fragrance.)

• What I smell: Slightly sour crème brulee. Not very strong.
• What he smells: Not much. “Something vaguely sweet.”
• Author’s note: I LOVE crème brulee, but my friend here has only had it approximately once, so he probably wouldn’t recognize it.

BPAL Chanukiyyah (Olive oil, olive blossom, beeswax, glowing amber, sweet sufganiyot, pomegranate, and fig.)

• What I smell: after a cloyingly sweet first impression that lasts about 30-60 seconds, all I get is olive blossom, which is pleasant but also disappointing.
• What he smells: Out of the vial, “whoa, that smells like how cherry cordials taste!” (Going to guess this is the mystery cloying sweetness plus pomegranate and fig.) On a tester Post-It after letting it dry for a minute, he made a very confused face and had to think about it for a while. “I’m getting some wood, I can’t place what type though.” (Amber?) “…there is something very specific that I’m getting and I CANNOT place it.” After reading off the notes list: “There is something in here that’s bringing back deeply buried memories. Oh my god. I know what it is, and this is so weird…” He’s thinking of green floral foam, which is apparently made from phenol plastic and formaldehyde - except like, a better version of it. I am pretty sure something in here is going plasticky for him, but not in a way he hates!

Cocoapink Sigh (Whispers of sweet, European lavender and weeping apple blossoms cuddled in pillows of marshmallow clouds and vanilla cream.)

• What I smell: Vanilla, marshmallow, a hint of soap.
• What he smells: “Ooh. This is almost entirely vanilla, which is nice because I really like vanilla. … The best perfumes you've shown me so far are the ones that just smell tasty.”

Fantome Duende (The smell of being lost in an enchanted forest—with oakmoss, cedar, fir, resinous labdanum, benzoin, tree sap, wild violets, and lilac.)

• What I smell: First impression is more heavily floral, but fades out to a beautiful mix of woods, resins, and floral sweetness.
• What he smells: “Okay, this is gonna be weird… I’m getting the impression of an old book. Like, the smell of a book that’s been sitting on a shelf for 80 years.” You know, that’s not far off, especially when you’re putting this scent on a tissue thanks to the rollerball. After listing the notes: “Okay, yeah. I thought the cedar would be more upfront than it is but it’s buried. I think I get a little bit of the sap(/resins) and a little bit of the lilac.” There is a massive lilac bush at his childhood home, so that’s something he likes and will have a tendency to notice.
• Author’s note: I love this one but I need to get an EDP of it to make it last at all.

Fantome Finist the Falcon (Bulgarian rose married with dewy Russian rose, swirled in strawberry, currant, & peach kissel with cream.)

• What I smell: Dizzyingly sweet fruit with an extra punch from the roses. Reminiscent of Jello.
• What he smells: “WHOA. Oof. Yeah, I’m getting solvent. Alcohol base, right?” It’s not impossible that there’s also anisyl acetone in here, which we believe was the culprit in a few past sniff tests going uncomfortably wrong on his end. It’s more likely to pop up in raspberries and cherries as opposed to strawberries, but it could be added to the roses as well.

Fantome One White Crow (A soft, classic fougère with creamy white tea, airy vanilla, violets, and honeysuckle over a bed of moss and ivy.)

• What I smell: White tea, florals. Weirdly sweet and un-earthy. Dries down to be less intense but still very conventionally perfumey.
• What he smells: “You know all those other ones that I described as smelling like fruit? Yeah, this is more of that. This is like a Jolly Rancher.” Cue a digression about the fact that I have actually never had a Jolly Rancher, the reasons for which are a long story. After listing the notes, he told me “yeah, I get how there’s white tea in here." Even though this didn’t happen with Duende, I wonder if he’s also one of the people who tends to get a candy impression from violet notes.

Fantome Vasilisa (Clover honey (vegan accord), neroli, chamomile, dry hay, rich tonka, vanilla, a flower crown of marigolds & sunflowers.)

• What I smell: Difficult to identify, but I think it’s the honey accord that isn’t very honeylike, chamomile, and maybe a floral note or two. Again, heavy on the sweet notes, nothing grassy at all, very conventionally perfumey.
• What he smells: “Yeah, no clue what’s going on here. You could convince me that a couple of these things are in here, but not most of them.” It could be worse; he is really not a fan of marigolds, and knowing how they smell I am surprised anyone tried putting a marigold note in a perfume.

Haus of Gloi Lavender Sugar

• What I smell: Wildly herbal lavender, no sugar to speak of.
• What he smells: The same. He reads herbal lavender as citrusy.

NAVA RS Lavan (Dummy version of the notes: two lavenders, two vanilla absolutes, mallow root extract, and four different sandalwoods blended with vanilla beans.)

• What I smell: Mostly lavender and sandalwood. Vanilla apparently disappears on my skin.
• What he smells: “Ooh, I really like this. Lots of vanilla but it’s more complex than [Cocoapink Sigh]. Something reminds me of baby powder though. This is a weird one where a smell brings back memories I’d forgotten about for decades, but my grandma used to have this scented face powder and this reminds me of some of the ones she used to use.”
• Author’s note: Still annoyed at NAVA for being so goddamn wordy about everything. But I’m going to keep what remains of this decant because friend likes it :) (which is not surprising because he loves everything in it!) I’m surprised that this is the first time either of us has run into a powdery impression.

Poesie Cozy (spicy cardamom + rich vanilla)

• What I smell: Very faint but the notes are definitely there.
• What he smells: The same. “If you put a gun to my head I could tell you there’s vanilla in here, buuuut…”

Poesie Habibi (cardamom, amber honey in the comb, cinnamon + ginger, an opulent amber blended of precious resins and dark vanilla, henna flower, sandalwood incense)

• What I smell: A stick of sandalwood incense that has been dipped in honey and spices. There may be vanilla in the background but I can’t pick it or the few other notes out.
• What he smells: “Oh wow, this one’s pretty intense for me! Kind of a musky smell. More of a cologne than a perfume. Masculine and reminiscent of a stiff cocktail, like an Old Fashioned or something, or whiskey. But like, in a good way, not like someone who’s been drinking all day.” We think this is the wombo combo of ginger, resins, vanilla, and incense at work. “Come to think of it, a lot of liquors have honey too.”
• Author’s note: Yeah, it’s too dark and intense for me, but this is one of the most exciting things I’ve tried so far. I want a lighter, slightly sweeter version of this.

Possets Adagio for Strings (Rose, soft honey, and pink pepper with white musk and a small amount of saffron.)

• What I smell: Rose and pepper. Mostly pepper in the vial.
• What he smells: “Whoa. It’s subtle but intense at the same time. There’s something in here that punches me in the nose the same way gasoline does.” (after mentioning the notes) “Oh. Yeah. That’s why.” (It’s the pepper.) I had earlier mentioned this perfume by name thanks to its musical origins, so we had a good laugh at his “subtle but intense” description after I told him that this was it. Spot on for the music, certainly!

Solstice Scents Lavender Vanilla

• What I smell: It’s what it says on the tin. Faint but mostly lavender on skin.
• What he smells: I let him know that I’m predictable and he immediately figured there must be lavender in here, lol. “Yup! That’s a lot of lavender.” He didn’t notice the vanilla initially. “Oh. I guess the combination made it not smell like vanilla.”

Solstice Scents Rose Mallow Cream (Moroccan Rose absolute, Bulgarian Rose absolute, marshmallow fluff, strawberry nectar, white chocolate, vanilla, white musk)

• What I smell: Rose, marshmallow, and strawberry in the vial. Fades instantly to a faint aura of sweetness on skin.
• What he smells: “…sarsaparilla? Yeah, root beer.” I noticed at this point that the contents of the vial had settled (which seems to most often happen with vanilla), so I shook it. “Okay, now it’s more floral. cue friend racking his brain a bit It’s a dark flower, like rose.” (after listing notes) “Yeah, I definitely get the vanilla too.”

Sorcellerie Good at Being Bad (Dark, salted vanilla, buttercream, a swirl of honey, and a whisper of jasmine.)

• What I smell: Vanilla cake in the vial. Fades to near-nothing on skin.
• What he smells: “Vanilla cake was my first impression, but then I realized it reminds me more of a cinnamon roll from this one shop [it’s near his hometown] that makes them the size of your face!” I wonder where he’s getting that; probably the honey.
• Author’s note: It would seem that neither of us can pick up the jasmine.

Hi everyone,
I've been baking cakes for a while now, but I recently had some tooth problems so I really would like to try baking cakes with less sugar or ideally with some kind of substitute. I have started researching this and found a lot of sugar substitutes, but most of them are very toxic to dogs (I have a small dog who is very keen on licking any particles that fall down when baking/cooking) so that's not really something I would like to risk. I heard about monk fruit but it's not really available in my country. Overall, I was thinking of using honey instead of sugar (I know honey can still be bad for teeth, but since it's much sweeter I would need to use less, plus I have some really good honey made by people that I know). So here comes the question: Do you have any cake recipes that include honey in the recipe and don't need me trying to make sugar to honey conversions (or other substitutes - I'm open for suggestions as long as I can have it around my overly and always hungry pet) I would really love to have some basics like chocolate, vanilla, red velvet etc. cake recipes that taste well and have a nice texture.
Thanks in advance :)