Our name is Murtons. We have made previous accounts on Reddit and made previous posts on this subreddit and others and have deleted them time and again. We have promised information that might relate to some of the experiencers of this subreddit. Now that we have acquired technology which makes such an idea possible, this will be our permanent account and everything we know and WILL know, we will tell to you, if not at the time when that information is acquired or when the event happens, then when it is safe to do so for ourself or when we are allowed.
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An Introduction

As you know, our name is Murtons. Murtons is a pseudonym, not for 2 people but for 2 entities contained within a single body. Our story is long and I will be creating multiple posts on this subreddit and perhaps others if this post is received well, telling our story, making posts that are just information dumps made up of relevant information and maybe update posts on our situation. At no point am I making the claim that I am an authority on the subject but I will say that I know what I know. From this point on, I am referring to myself without plural, unless it is necessary to do otherwise, as it is just me doing the work at the moment and speaking in plural is exhausting.
For context, I do not have MPD nor am I trying to rip off any other users claiming to be "2 People" or "2 Entities". I assure you that my situation is unique. I will not share my own name but the name of the other entity is Carrabelle.
Carrabelle was attached to me in a previous life as a form of sarcastic "Marriage into the family". His "Species" is unique in that, when he is attached biologically, he is attached to your consciousness and will be there in every life after the one that he was attached until detached. The longer that he is attached, the harder it is to remove him. After a certain amount of time, physical removal will not be enough as he will just grow back. My family (Again, non-human) have managed to set up an inhibitor of sorts for the time that I did not have my memories and until they are back that will stop him from making my life difficult...mostly.
As for information on myself if you want it; I have had a fear of Jesters and carnivals for a long time, along with the associated patterns. I have a fear of fictional settings with dark cyberpunk themes such as games like Observer. I have Autism, ADHD, OCD and I heal really quickly. My hair and nails grow quickly as well. I also get cold electric feelings across my body, especially when I am stressed or sick. I am introverted and have only recently begun to learn important life skills, such as being able to talk to people. My home life is terrible as well, which is important to this. Oh yeah and I have survived Meningococcal, Pneumonia, Meningitis and Leukemia twice.
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My Experiences

During the course of the past 2 years, I regained memories from 5 different lives and from 3 key points in this life as well as remembering certain "Dreams" which I can guarantee are more real than I had assumed at the time. I have remembered that 3-4 of those 5 previous lives have interacted with this one and that this life happening was a direct consequence of the choices of my previous incarnation. I have remembered that I would not be who I am today without the non-humans that I call Family.
As there is so much to unpack, I will be making a separate post for each life, excluding this life, which will instead be split into 3 parts. I will also be making a post explaining certain concepts that I have learned, along with things I have learned which relate to the many other experiences of many other experiencers and maybe a Q&A, though the latter probably will not be necessary. In this post, I will be talking about the sudden re-emerging of my memories, dreams and the subsequent events.
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2019

I (Only 15 at the time) woke up to the sound of glass smashing and my mother screaming. I looked around and it was pitch black and it seemed my Mum was asleep. I assumed that she had dropped something in the middle of the night and screamed and I had managed to sleep through it, only waking up to the extremely loud subconscious recollection hours later. I felt strange though, like my body knew something was wrong but I could not figure it out myself.
I got out of bed and walked towards the door. Though it was dark, I could tell that my door was slowly opening on its own and I was frozen with fear. I saw slight movement and a shape but due to how dark it was and my own fear, I started to question if the door was opening or not. In both a curious movement to see if the door was shut or not and the thought that I might be dreaming so what I do doesn't matter, I moved towards the door.
In an instant, I felt myself flying towards my bed with a figure moving towards me and suddenly being forced onto my stomach. I felt 1 hand pushing my face into the bed, another 2 arms holding my arms down and another hand on my back. I tried fighting to see the face of my attacker, thinking that I could gain some small victory if I saw their face (Not that it would matter, as I could not tell anyone) but I fell unconscious.
I awoke slowly, the images blurry in front of me, some kind of colourful effect dancing in my vision, dissipating the longer I was awake, my emotions dull but not dead. There were sand/mud buildings in front of and around me. They did not look made by some primitive civilization but made with the intent to last. I was walking on a footpath of some kind with a road to the right of me. It was humid and felt as though I was wearing thick clothing. I just knew that I was dreaming, this whole situation was absurd.
I looked to the left of me and saw someone walking beside me. I was fairly short for a 15 year old but this person was tall, like 7-8ft tall. I slowly noticed the way that they dressed; overly colourful, a strange hat and 4 sleeves containing 4 different arms. They must have noticed that I was looking in their direction because they looked down at me, opened their mouth and as they did so, what looked like chunks of meat and wires spilled out and I looked away as terrified as I could be. I had a weird feeling that it did not hurt them in any way and that they only did it to scare me.
As we continued walking along this footpath, we came to a crossing in the road and on the other side was some kind of checkpoint. Two tall guards with tight outfits, white masks and guns guarded a metal door that was built into either a wall or a fence. I knew that if this was somehow not a dream, going through that door was the point of no return. If it was a dream, then running or staying has no real world consequence but if it was real, then running was the only option. I slowly backed away, hoping to be out of the vision of that thing before I started running.
As I started running, I turned around and saw whatever that thing was screaming, all 4 arms outstretched, clutching some kind of wand in one hand. I was as scared as my body would allow, running back the way we came, when a vehicle nearly hit me. The car was fairly low to the ground and the driver looked me with confusion. I ran back to the footpath that took me to the checkpoint and I just kept running, not knowing where to go but hoping to figure it out as I went. After a few moments of running, I heard someone yell for me and when I looked, there was someone in an alleyway next to me.
I felt myself being quickly yanked into the alleyway and I though that I had been caught. I was grabbed and made to face the person who I had unknowingly been saved by. My memory is not perfectly clear but she had bluish purplish skin, large yellow eyes and what looked like spikes coming out of her head, not straight out like a porcupine but in a way that looked like a substitute for hair.
"Ahhh, a demon" I said sarcastically, assuming myself to be dreaming.
"I am not a demon" she said bemused.
"Well, this is my dream and you look like a demon, so you are a demon'' I said extremely smugly.
"You are not dreaming".
That went on for about 30 seconds. I asked her who she was and she told me that she was my best friend. I asked her, that if she was my best friend, then how I did not remember her and she told me that I asked to have my memory erased, which made no sense to me. I asked where I was, to which she said that I was currently on Mars. Eventually I heard a voice behind me trying to get my attention. The voice belonged to another girl. She had bleached white skin, large eyes (She is not a grey. She hates being called that.), black hair and black clothes.
"Hey *****, how have you be-..." the previous girl interrupted her and would not let her speak. The first girl seemed to be somewhat... territorial. My memory faltered and I seemed to forget the conversation that had transpired seconds before. The second girl walked off with a scowl across her face, which I without my memory, assumed to be directed at me. My focus was brought back to the first girl with the spikes for hair and I noticed a watch on her wrist which reminded me of the watch the Yautja wear in the "PREDATOR" franchise, with its own differences of course.
After a while, she said that they were taking me home . I was looking forward to going somewhere familiar and less confusing. She walked to my right and I saw movement down the other end of the alleyway, which I scared me but after they didn't react, I assumed that it was more of them, so I calmed down. The girl with the spikes pulled out what looked like a fork like device but in between the middle two prongs was a circular object. She asked me if I was ready and when I said that I was, she placed the object to my right temple and my vision nearly instantly went black, I felt relaxed and I felt my body collapse, along with someone catch me and then the sensation of being dragged.
I woke up restrained and facing someone that I only have the memory of the colour green to associate them with. They simply asked me "Are you sure that you want to go home?" to which I replied with a somewhat confused "Yes", wondering why they would even ask that.
I woke up. My Mum remembered nothing and seemed fine, while my memory of the event was distorted, only remembering the city, the guards, the 4 armed monstrosity and the fact that a conversation of some kind had happened. The only possible evidence of the night prior was found later when we could not lock the front door. My memory of that "Dream" began to fade quick, being gone within 2 weeks.
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2020

I had dropped out of High School due to Covid making things difficult and my School being next to useless. My Mum had begun to leave me alone over a couple of nights to go and talk to her "Just a friend". A couple of nights turned into weeks and weeks turned into 6 months. She would occasionally re stock the fridge and pantry while I was asleep, stay a few hours in the morning so she could say that she tried to see me (My sleep patterns were all over the place) and then she would leave.
I had friends online that I eventually got rid of due to realizing that they were not friends. While I had those friends, I gained memories back of a fight with some girl 2 years beforehand, which I did not realize at the time was a part of something so big. That situation is part of the last of the 3 key events and will be covered in a post.
For 2-3 months during those 6 months, every night to every second night, I would get strange dreams with reoccurring characters, that always felt so real at the time and that I would always either slowly forget or I would forget when I woke up. I will tell you everything that is worth mentioning, though I can guarantee you, everything except for the first "Dream", will not be in chronological order. Sometimes the "Dreams" would have actual dreams before or after them, most of the time related to something I saw during the events of the "Dream" or something I glimpsed before I was fully conscious in said "Dream". Sometimes, the real dreams were unrelated.
Sometimes I had real dreams that I also know were manipulated as they would relate directly to a game I had played or something similar. I will not mention these. Any comparisons I make to fiction after this point is not meant to imply that they are real dreams but merely a comparison to something that one might consider familiar.
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• I Woke up to loud sounds. I was paralyzed and leaning against a wall. A girl ran up to me and knelt down. She had black hair, was wearing black and had large eyes with bleached white skin. She put 2 guns down in front of me. There were people behind her firing down over the railings of the plateau we appeared to be on with a large neon people skyscraper in the far background. The girl said that her name was Kingston and that they will explain everything but first I have to wake up.

It took me a while to wake up and regain control of my body. I heard a girl yelling at me to wake up or else they will kill me themselves (They did not mean it). I woke up, picking up the guns, when I noticed what looked like a humanoid lizard going up behind one of the people with firing. I aimed for it and shot it in the head. I heard someone yell "HOLY SHIT! HIS FIRST KILL AND IT'S A HEADSHOT!".
A girl with spikes instead of hair run up to me and gave me a thumbs up whilst saying "Good Job!". Forgetting that Kingston existed, I assumed that she was the one who threatened to kill me and told her not to patronize me. She seemed hurt and confused. When I woke up, I for some reason went on some rant about how they cannot just kill whoever they want and they told me that they were killing bad people and that I needed to calm down.
What looked like hundreds of those lizard people were running towards the railings. One of the other people firing yelled "I'm out of ammo" and then everyone else did as well. I was terrified and I suddenly got a sudden burst of confidence. I jumped onto the railing and with both guns, started firing on the lizards... and then so did everyone else. They lied to see what I would do.
There was a sudden explosion and the neon pink building exploded. I was grabbed and told to run. They were jumping of a ledge onto a street. The ground looked slippery and I was scared. They told me that I had to jump. They were telling me that it was not a dream and that if I did not jump then I would die. I think someone pushed me and someone else caught me.
We walked along the street in the rain and I started crying. Someone comforted me and I fell unconscious. I woke up in bed
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• I was in what looked like a harbor. There was an ocean to my left and there were market tents and stands on both sides. The architecture was vaguely similar to Feudal Japan. I had 2 people with me, though I was not in enough control of my body to see who they were.
  I saw someone ahead of me running from a group of people. They were holding an oily black sphere. one of the people beside me, Kingston, dressed in a thicker outfit than usual, yelled at me to chase him and the girl on the other side with spikes instead of hair, encouraged me to go after him but in a softer voice.
  

I chased him, pushing past people and sliding under what looked like a cart. He jumped over something large and I had what looked like a burst of confetti hit me in the face. I lost him and I had the 2 girl sitting over me. "Better luck next time!" Kingston said, aiming something towards my face. I fell unconscious. I woke up in bed.
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• I woke up in a jungle. I was behind a vehicle. I felt more awake than usual. Someone was next to me and I could not look at them without activating my fight or flight response. A tall blue guy wearing welding goggles said something about the car while working on it. I assume that we had broken down and he was trying to fix it.

The person that I was terrified of and I sat down behind the car. She told me that she was my best friend and she wants me to look at her. I tried but I just couldn't. She said it made her sad but she understood. I said that I was sorry and eventually I fell unconscious. I woke up in bed.
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• I woke up to a tight circular metal room with doors. The room was filled with buttons and levers on a round curved bench that lined the walls and it had a very steampunk aesthetic. There was a staircase that lead down. The 2 doors were open and when I went out, I saw a railing that went around the outside of the small room. The only thing that I can compare the obvious water vehicle to, is the life raft at the end of the videogame Bioshock 2.

Someone came up behind me and pulled me inside. He were dressed from head to toe in black. They had a mask/helmet on with big bug eyed lenses. He told me to stay inside because it was dangerous. He started manipulating the dials and levers, using not only his arms but mechanical arms that came off a machine on his back. The mechanical arms were had joints and pivoted on those joints, with clasps at the ends. The only thing that I can compare him to is a mix between Spectre from Resident Evil: Operation Racoon City and the skinny Comic version of Spider-Man but even then, it is not an accurate comparison.
I waited a long time and was bored. He told me to be patient. Eventually a kind of ship arrived and he told me that they are not to see me, as the people on board do not like me because of what I had done. I asked what I did wrong but he refused to tell me. At some point, I fell unconscious. I woke up in bed.
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• I have a small memory of waking up and in doing so, getting a bit behind the people that I was obviously following. I caught up with them and tried getting their attention. They said hello to me and I kept following them. They were the tall blue guy, the girl with spikes, the guy with the mechanical arms and Kingston. I do not remember falling unconscious but I woke up in bed.

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• I woke up to someone pulling me up off the floor. My surroundings were metal. The person pulling me off the floor was tall, blue and wearing a trench coat. They looked at me and asked me if I remembered them. I told them them that I did but not really.

We heard footsteps coming from a nearby doorway. 2 people that I cannot remember the appearance of walked in. They seemed extremely cocky and started telling us how there is no escape, that we were going to be taken and that after they had me, they were going to kill my cats. I love my cats and all I could feel was hate.
I could feel what felt like pure energy running through my hands and when I looked down, my hands were glowing orange. Not having anything else to do, I put my hands out and just thought "hehe, it's like magic in Skyrim" and jokingly put my hands out to "Shoot Flames". Instead, orange energy with sparks started to come out of my hands. I looked at the person who seemed familiar and he nodded with a smile saying "Go ahead!".
I leapt at the two people who were moments ago bullying and tormenting me. I jump on the one on the right, punching him in the face. I fear the one next to me will try to stop me and so I jump, without effort, onto a wall, laughing and the leap back. I continue jumping in and out, throwing various punches and attacks, until all that is left is an unmoving gory mess and by the end I feel unstoppable.
The tall blue man who had obviously come to rescue me says "Okay, that is enough" and I fall unconscious. I wake up in bed.
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• I wake up on the ground. It is concrete, as are my surroundings. Kingston runs up to me and hands me an ear piece, says to listen carefully and then disappears. I do not remember hearing a voice through the ear piece at any time. I walk around for a bit and it reminds me of a building in my school and I think that I am there for a moment but I knew that it could not be because nothing else is familiar and it is far too large.

I see a fat man sitting on a bench, hunched over. He reminds me of one of my mothers ex's and I try to avoid him. He notices me and I rush away but he does not get up.
I see someone tall and they glance at me for a moment before whipping their head around and staring at me. I realized they are not friendly and run away. I did not count the arms.
I walk down a pathway and notice a few public benches in front of a small fenced off decorative public bush with the wood chips beneath it. There are 2 staircases on either side of the fenced off bush, leading to what seemed like an oval and there appeared to be a helicopter or some kind of aerial vehicle, landing on said oval. I was not sure if it was there to save me or not and so I approached the staircase cautiously.
Eventually, what looked like a SWAT member started walking down the stairs. I noticed what looked like metal beams moving very fast behind his back and even before I noticed that, I realized that he was not any kind of SWAT member or cop. I panicked and ran. I heard him yell "WAIT! I'M A FRIEND!" and I responded with "WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD I BELIEVE YOU?!". In a lower voice I heard him say "Good point".
I felt my feet dragged out from under me and myself being dragged away. I tried digging my nails into the concrete and realizing that it was pointless, painful and stereotypical of every B grade horror movie, I stopped. Just as I stopped being a stereotype, my body was picked up and made to face my "Friend". I realized that mechanical arms that came from his back held me up off the ground. I told him to wait desperately, repeating myself over and over before I saw one of his mechanical arms move next to my neck/head and then I fell unconscious. I woke up in bed.
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• I felt wind on my face. I felt something really close to my face. My tiredness disappeared and alertness took over. I opened my eyes and what looked like a shredded face was millimeters from my own. The faces lips moved and I heard them say "Boo!".

I screamed. It moved away quick and I heard laughter. I saw the rest of it as it and others were laughing. It was sitting down on all fours, almost like a quadruped and it looked mechanical. The other people who were laughing were Kingston, the tall blue guy, the man with the mechanical arms and the girl with spikes instead of hair. I was less terrified and more embarrassed. Behind the 5 of them was what looked like the back of a chopper, with the ramp down and behind it, a metal city surrounded by walls.
After they stopped laughing, they told me that they needed me to come with them. I said that I just wanted to go home and they told me that I could, if I came with them. I assumed that they were trying to trick me, so I ran the opposite direction. They yelled after me telling me that I needed to stop doing this.
I reached a cliff and managed to find a few paths down the side of it and get away from my pursuers. I don't remember how but I stumbled up what looked like a military outpost. There were tents, a few temporary looking structures and a strange rounded pyramid shaped tank. The tank had what looked like a pivoting sphere on the top with the barrel attached to one of the sides. When I arrived, the whole place woke up. I started running as people were leaving the tents and structures with guns. The tank woke up.
The 4 people who were pursuing me caught up and managed to save me. They obviously were not happy, as I got them into a gun fight instead of just listening. I do not remember falling unconscious but I woke up in bed.
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Sometimes after remembering one of these dreams, I would tell my mother and I would say how weird it is that I keep having dreams with the same people. This on it's own is strange as I never remembered any key parts of any of the dreams when telling my mother. Either I only remembered the characters within the "Dreams" or I only remembered when thinking about the latest "Dream".
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2021 - Now

One late night, I had the sudden inexplicable urge to research aliens. I had found so many links to various articles and stories but a lot of it seemed ridiculous. After a few hours, I got a strange vision. It lasted less than half a second but it was unmistakable. A pair of eyes in blue sunken sockets.
I went on Reddit, creating my first Reddit Account (As far as I am aware) and going to the appropriate subreddits, asking questions. I started getting memories of a family of blue aliens and being terrified. I had various memories of walking down the corridors of a ship.
The next day was the day I moved in with the family of my mothers previously "Just a friend" . In my new home, I kept getting these memories. I eventually met a Reddit user who seems to have deleted his account. We both helped each other remember something... terrifying.
We remembered cephalopodic beings in suits. They seemed to like crystals and had rings around their fingers attached to strings which attached to computers. I began Calling them pianists. Eventually he started to doubt himself and I never heard from him again. He did however mention glowing orbs that followed him as a child and have since started following his own child. I also remember the orbs following me as a child.
I started to realize that a lot of the previous memories that I had remembered just did not happen. Eventually I started remembering more memories that I eventually realized did not happen. Not all of the memories however were false. Eventually the memories started to become real mixed with fake. What was real and false started to become clearer and eventually certain "Characters" in these memories started to become more consistent and stop being replaced by other fake "Characters".
I started getting memories of meeting a porcupine girl when I was 4-5. She seemed like a mix between a Human and a porcupine. I also remembered a guy with mechanical arms and his face was deformed and repaired with metal. I also started getting memories of Jesters with multiple arms... too many arms.
After enough time, the memories of the Human porcupine and the deformed man with mechanical arms changed. The man with mechanical arms was no longer deformed and was now wearing a mask and due to his similarity to an aforementioned videogame character, I began calling him Spectre. The porcupine girl stopped looking so Human and instead looked more like a girl with spikes instead of hair. I remembered that there indeed was another girl that looked Human. She had bleached white skin, black hair, black clothes and she loved to give everyone attitude.
Eventually, I met another user on Reddit who was and is very useful. He told me about his unique abilities and since he has been given multiple visions, some of which are visions of different people which I eventually learned were my past incarnations. He has also been given visions of the cephalopodic beings and a few details were made clearer. Their appearance is similar enough to the fictional DND species Illithids that I changed the spelling around and began calling them Ithilids and oddly enough, I also started reading it like that too. Eventually the real memories became obvious and very consistent.
After learning some stuff from that user, he told me that he had a vision while he was sleeping. In that vision, a tall ethereal man in a trench coat with a cybernetic arm and welding goggles contacted him. He only said "Say goodbye to your buddy Murtons" before messing around inside his head. I eventually remembered him. He was the tall blue guy. His name is Mason.
I have since remembered previous lives, 5 to be exact. What happened in them will be discussed in future posts, if future posts are wanted. What I have remembered about my current life will also be discussed in future posts if those future posts are wanted. What I will say is this: 3 of those 4 people are from my previous life and all 4 are my family. They have recently started visiting me after I fall asleep and I am certain that they are not dreams. They are also not the abducting kind in the slightest (Even though... yeah... they do technically abduct me). If you got to know them, within less than a week, they would seem like regular people (Because they are) and their physical appearance would no longer bother you. They are supposed to come back in August and I am so excited.
In one of my recent visits from my family, I learned that the girl with spikes for hair is called Piper.
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Something Weird

Upon reading the KGB Secret Alien Races Book, I noticed 3 things in all of the obvious misinformation. 3 things which terrify me and also helped to make some memories clearer.
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1. The Caraveldi mentioned in the book are reported to be about 9 ft tall, have 4 arms and be extremely dangerous. This is an identical description to the Jesters that I remember and the thing that I saw on Mars.
2. At the end of the book are different "Notes". Most are just gibberish or fake quotes. They do however mention something about Putin being chosen to start an avalanche. Before recently, people had assumed that it was referencing one of his other actions, especially due to another quote talking about Medvedev.
3. In the notes section, there is a quote. The quote reads "Why do Australian Humans do not see September 23?". I am Australian and that is my birthday and as far as I am aware, the book was first made in 2008, the year that I met my family for the first time in this life. Creepy.

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Your Choice

It is entirely your choice in what order I make my posts. I can put them all in chronological order and the give the Information Dump. I can do the posts on this life first and then the aforementioned order or whatever order is wanted. It is your choice.
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On a side note, I am well aware that people are going to try to call me out as a LARP or for trying to create an ARG or trying to be a TAA copy cat. I am not trying to do any of that nor am I writing fiction. I am doing this to try to help people and also help myself by actually putting this out there instead of keeping it in. I would actually like to talk with people but if you are going to troll, please do not bother. I get enough ridicule from every other Human that I tell about my memories, so please do not think that your words hurts.
I am also sure that I do not have any medical issues that could be causing delusions or visions. Thank you for your concern in advance.
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Murtons Out...

Hey, please help me out. I feel like a different person once I've hit 21yrs and I hope it's not due to hormones and it won't stick with me for good. I hope it's due to a rlly dark time that caused my mental health to suffer.
I've always been a tomboy kind of girl, not quite by appearance (tall girl, long blonde hair, no big tidd*s but overall I've never looked like a boy. I don't wear make up and fancy clothes tho, just not my thing, too expensive and uncomfortable. And I am a powerlifter so I'm pretty muscular), but rather by character and way of approaching things. I've always been a mixture of a well-calculated, logical thinker, had some ballz I gotta admit xd, and in general I used to spend time with my male-friends, was really driven by studies, career, gym... I have a lovely boyfriend, we were like a copy of each other, just with different genitals. We used to listen to the same podcasts, share the same opinions. I have to say I freaking LOVED my life. It was the best adventure I could've ever lived. I've learnt Spanish and English as an 11-yrs old girl, I've once escaped to Spain to my friends (from PL) without my parents knowing (was 15), I've got a homeschooling so I can move on my own and work (was 18), travelled through Greek islands with my 2 bf (one was gay, other was an awesome girl), I freaking learnt academic math on my own cuz I suddenly wanted to change my studies from Finance to Engineering AND I DID IT. And I did it to DENMARK from PL. I freaking made it! And I loved that. And all of this with my amazing boyfriend by my side.
But now, as I'm 21 this year, I feel so terrible I can't even describe it and I can't tell if that's temporary, caused by hard time I've gone through, or hormones and this changes will keep getting bigger.
I suddenly start thinking about having a baby (I would NEVER want to be a mother, you can criticize all you want, it won't change a thing). Now I suddenly don't feel I'm driven and motivated by my goals I normally used to have (career, studies, gym, I feel nothing makes sense, what's the point etc).
I don't enjoy watching or listening to the same podstasts I used to enjoy (Joe Rogan, some comentary yts, some engineering channels...), my point of view on political and sociology issues has changed too. I've normally struggled with being overworked, striving to be respected and earn a lot. Now I still want to be successfull, but I don't feel like I HAVE TO earn this and that amount of money or have this and that position so I'm respected and loved. And on one hand, it sounds like a healthy approach, but on the other - the truth is, extraordinary things aren't healthy. You either want to be healthy and live a calm life, or you are willing to risk it all and work ur $ss off to achieve the best of the best, and that's where I've always been to. So, I normally shared these struggles and difficulties with my boyfriend, we were both really goal-oriented especially in our future career and financial life. So, idk... I always tell him I will NEVER judge him by his income, I want him to do what makes him happy, I want him to enjoy life and be proud of himself. But at the same time, when I apply this mindset to myself, it feels weird, almost as if I got lazy. Kinda like I don't deserve it.
So Idk what to think about it, could be hormonal thing that will stick with me? Or is it due to this:
I've gone through many terrible things this year and I think my mental health couldn't handle it despite my predictions. I've moved to a different city far from everyone just to get through courses that'd let me get into the university abroad so I can be with my bf abroad. It was a really dark time for me, because I don't do well living isolated for such a long time (5 months). Also, my mom almost became blind (eyes problem), I felt helpless af. I went through abortion this year (yeah, it happened) and as I can't imagine myself with a baby, I was terrified I'd end up with ongoing pregnancy. I had dental problems that cost me like $4k (here it's a lot). I had family problems (my brother acts toxic due to his mental problems and my mom can't handle him well, neither do I) and more family problems (child support trial, had seen my dad, I wish it didn't happen).
So I guess I can feel tired, overwhelmed and I'm sicking comfort and relax for a while, and my passion and the feeling of "woah life is so cool, look what I've done with it" will be back once my mental health is better.
Also, no hate on women. I don't think having a baby or being feminine is bad. It's not about my hating on them, it's about me losing losing the will to live and losing my self. Now I feel empty and unhappy, It feels like losing the only thing nobody could ever take from you - my mindset and goals.

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My Dad died nearly two years ago, and we just buried him today.
Dad was a writer, though you've probably never heard of him. He was known in small circles, celebrated by the community where he lived, but his books will likely never grace the shelves of Barnes and Noble. I say that like it's a fact, but that may not be the case anymore. Dad, like one of those old painters from the 1800s, became infinitely more famous in his death than he ever did in life. People who wouldn't return his calls and wouldn't even think of publishing his work now come to see him from miles away. This probably seems strange, given I just told you he's dead, so let me start at the beginning.
Dad died as he lived, at his keyboard.
He's been writing the same book for as long as I can remember. It's a massive seven or eight-volume series. In one of my earliest memories, I can remember tottling into his office and looking up at him as he smiled at me, his fingers never leaving the keyboard as he plinked away. Dad wrote other things for magazines or freelance work, but the books were his magnum opus. He would tell anyone who would listen, usually interested friends of mine who were aspiring writers themselves, how the book would be his greatest work once it was done. He had envisioned ten books and all, detailing the hero's journey of his main character as he attempted to find his father's murderer across several continents, meeting people and finding clues along the way. I've heard him talk about that book almost every day since I was old enough to understand what he was talking about, but I couldn't tell you much about it. He never let anybody read it, he was so protective of it, and I don't know if more than a dozen people were aware of its existence. That being said, he was always in his study when he had time, tapping away at the keys and refining his manuscript for the day it would be picked up by an editor.
I was the one who found him, and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I was getting ready for college, packing up my things, and moving out, and I came to see if he would help me move some furniture onto the truck. He had been in his office all day, and I thought maybe he was mad at me. I knew he didn't want me to leave, he was sad to see me go, but he had to understand that I had to go to college. I had a full-ride scholarship I'd be a fool not to use, and living on campus would give me access to resources I wouldn't have at home. It seemed like the best choice to move out, and I couldn't believe he couldn't see that.
So when I stuck my head in and asked him, I was surprised when he didn't turn around. That only seemed to cement in my head the idea that he was mad at me. He had his back to the door as he always did, fingers tapping away, and when he didn't say anything, I just stood there and looked at the back of his head for a moment. He had a bald spot forming, the hair receding away from the center, and I thought it a little sad to watch my Dad aging in such an obvious way.
I asked him again, his fingers never slowing, but when he didn't say anything, I went downstairs and managed to manhandle the desk down into the u-haul. I decided I wouldn't bother him if he wanted to act like this. He would fold when it came time for me to leave, apologizing for acting like this, and we would have a hug before I drove off into the sunset.
Around lunchtime, I looked at my now-empty room and realized I was finished packing.
Mom was at work at the post office, and I had planned to swing in and say bye on my way out of town. We had said our goodbyes that morning, with lots of tears and hugs over breakfast, and Dad was the only one I felt I still needed to say goodbye to. So, I went upstairs again, saying I needed to leave and wondering if he'd come to give me a hug?
His fingers just kept tapping away uninterrupted.
"Come on, Dad," I said, stepping inside as he continued to ignore me, "I know you're bummed about this, but it's time for me to get out there and make it on my own. It's not like I'll never be back again. You'll see me on Thanksgiving. That's less than," but when I put my hand on his shoulder, I noticed how cold it was.
Dad had been up here for three days writing, and Mom said she didn't think he'd come to bed at all in that time. This wasn't uncommon for Dad. He would hyper-fixate on a project or revisions and lose days at a time. His office was towards the back of the house on the second floor, so without foot traffic or noise, he could lose himself for days as he worked. He usually came down for food after everyone was asleep, but I couldn't remember hearing him stumbling around lately.
I turned him towards me, his hands moving comically in front of him as he swung away from the desk, and as he came away, he began to scream as if someone were stabbing him.
I stumbled away, taking in his long face and sunken eyes, and found myself running from the room as I grabbed the phone out of my pocket.
Mom said she'd be home immediately, and as I waited downstairs, I could still hear him screaming from his office.
Mom came home in a rush, going up the stairs two at a time, and when the screaming finally stopped, I breathed a sigh of relief.
When she came downstairs, she asked me to come to his office.
"I need to talk to you about something, and I think this should be a family decision."
I came back up to see that Dad was still staring into the screen of his MacBook, tapping away like we weren't even there.
"I don't know how to explain this, but I think your father has died."
Looking at his fingers as they went about their tireless typing, I asked her if she was kidding? Dad was clearly alive. His hands were moving, and I could see words on the screen forming coherent sentences. Were they playing a joke or something? None of what she was saying made any sense.
"I checked his pulse. He has no pulse, no vitals, he's just gone, sweety. But, it appears that he's not quite gone."
She tried to move him, and as she turned him away, I could see his lifeless face as it turned to regard me. His jaw had been hanging slack, his eyes open and staring, and as his hands came away from the keyboard, he started screaming all over again. It was a deep and tortured noise, similar to the one he'd made before, and without even meaning to, I turned him back to the keyboard, where his hands started typing again.
I asked her what was going on, and Mom shrugged as she tried to come up with a reason for all this.
"His book was important to him, you know that. I think, maybe, once he finishes it, he might stop on his own. I can't explain what's happening here, but I don't want him to die with his work unfinished. Your father kept saying it wasn't ready, but I'm going to send the first manuscript to his editor. Maybe once he sees it and someone puts it in print, he'll finally be able to rest, but either way, let's keep this between us, okay? I want your father to pass on without regrets, don't you?"
I nodded, telling her that, of course, I wanted Dad to die at peace.
"Then do him this last favor, and don't tell anyone what you've seen here. Promise?"
I didn't know how to feel about this, but I told her I wouldn't tell anyone, and she thanked me as she hugged me goodbye.
I left in my Uhaul, unsure how to feel about the situation, but I kept the secret.
I didn't come home much for the next year.
I came home for Thanksgiving as promised, but the whole thing felt uncomfortable.
Mom and I sat downstairs eating, her curious about how school was going and me filling her in on my studies. As I ate turnkey and tried to have a normal conversation over stuffing, all I could focus on was the tapping from upstairs. Mom had closed the door to Dad's office, something that I could never remember happening at any time in my life, but despite her best efforts, the tapping was still audible. There was also a smell from the room at the end of the hall, and I was worried about her living in a house with a decomposing body. She said he hadn't decomposed much, but I think she might have been trying to spare my feelings. Worse than the smell, though, was the tapping. It never stopped and sounded too loud to be from whole fingers.
Despite this, Mom was in pretty good spirits. She said Dad's first book was being edited, and his publicist thought it would likely be ready for the shelves next year. He couldn't believe my Dad had been keeping this gem to himself for so long, and I think that was when I realized how few people Dad had shared his books with. She said the initial payment on the book had allowed her to pay some overdue bills, and she would send him the second book sometime next year.
"If I release them slowly, it won't seem so odd when he finishes, and I let them know he's passed."
I asked if his writing had slowed at all, and she said he was still typing night and day.
"He never rests, and I've had to start sleeping in my noise-canceling headphones. The sound takes some getting used to, but I think I can almost put it out of my mind."
I had meant to stay for the week, but I ended up making excuses and leaving the day after Thanksgiving.
The sound of the keys as they clicked away was becoming too much for me to handle.
After that, I made excuses to not come home. I told Mom I had a paper due during Christmas and stayed on campus over the holiday. I took extra classes, so I didn't have to come home on semesters I would have been able to take a break from. I still called her on the phone, but our conversations became shorter and shorter as time went on. The longer I was on the line with her, the more pervasive the clicking became, and it felt like I could hear it over the phone no matter where she was.
My mother's mental state began to deteriorate as well.
She had sent the second book to his publicist, and he had fast-tracked it after the first one had done so well. She deflected any sort of interviews or phone calls for Dad, telling them how shy and anxious he was, but people really seemed to want to pick his brain about the direction of the book, and they were becoming harder and harder to put off. She didn't sound like her usual self, either. It was clear that she wasn't sleeping, and she said the clicking was getting louder and louder the longer it went on.
"I tried to do some soundproofing in his office, but it never seems to help. I can't stand to be in there for very long. Even though he's looking at the screen, I can feel him watching me when I'm in there. I think," Mom took a breath, and I could almost see her looking in the direction of his office as she pitched her voice low, "I think I can hear something moving around at night."
I asked what she meant, afraid that maybe animals had gotten in to try and get at Dad's body, but she said it was just little sounds.
"You remember how he used to leave his office late at night to get food? Sometimes, I feel like I can hear someone coming down the stairs in the wee hours of the morning. While I was listening to it the other night, I realized that I couldn't hear the keyboard anymore, and that scared me even more."
She started crying then, and I think I had already decided to come home that weekend so we could sort this out.
I hadn't come home in a long time and found a very different woman than I had over Thanksgiving the year before.
And why not?
It had to be nerve-wracking knowing you were sharing a house with a corpse.
Mom looked like she had aged twenty years. Her hair, light blond the last time I'd been home, was threaded with gray and looked thinner than ever. Her skin sagged, and her eyes looked bruised from the bags under them. She was thin to the point of emaciation, and I wondered if she had been eating? When she hugged me, I could feel her ribs pressing against me, and I decided then that something had to be done before I lost both my parents.
I told her that we had to end this, I told her that we had to put him to rest, but she feebly resisted.
"He isn't done yet. He's still typing up there. I can't lay him to rest until he finishes."
I asked her how long that would be, but she didn't seem to have the answer.
I told her I was tired and wanted to rest, but after I heard her door close and the sound of her springs grumbling as she went to bed, I got up and went downstairs. I wanted to see what this thing was that was moving around after dark, and I knew just the place to hide. There was a small closet in the living room, a place for wrapping paper and old crafts Mom hadn't gotten around to yet, and after sliding some things around, I made myself comfortable and cracked the door. It took some time, and I wished I had some coffee to keep me from dozing in the small, warm space.
I was just starting to nod off, my phone showing half past three in the morning, when the landing at the top of the stairs creaked.
Something glided down almost soundlessly, its body light, and I pressed my eye to the slit in the door to see what it was. It was dark in the living room, the curtains drawn, but I didn't dare turn on a light. If it knew I was here, it might flee, and then I'd have nothing to report to Mom in the morning. Luckily for me, it jostled right by the closet door, and the creature was impossible to miss. It was thin, almost lacking dimension, creaking as it ambled into the kitchen. I held my breath as it disappeared into the dim space, but the pale head was hard to miss.
When it turned to look at the closet from the kitchen doorway, I feared I had made a noise.
When those empty sockets fixed on the door, I covered my mouth with my hand.
When the creature creaked its way into the kitchen and disappeared from sight, I tripped out of the closet and made my way less than gracefully back up the stairs and into my old room.
If it heard me, it didn't stop at the door to comment.
Only then did I come to the same conclusion that Mom had, realizing what was missing from the silent house.
The tapping had stopped.
We called the police the next day, me threatening to call them myself if mom didn't. I didn't know what the thing I'd seen was doing in the kitchen, but I couldn't very well leave her alone with it. She just nodded and picked up the phone, and I think she was ready to call them. She had lived with Dad's corpse for two years, and even she had to agree that it was time to end it.
The paramedics weren't sure what to make of him, but he was definitely what I had seen the night before as it went into the kitchen. He had mostly rotted, but his bones had moldering flesh still attached in places. His scalp had some hairs clinging to it, the bald spot I had noticed was still visible, but we had taken his hands off the keyboard before they got there.
When we had taken him from the computer, his scream was little more than a wheeze of protest.
He had no vocal cords to scream with, but still, he protested.
The police had questions, but I think my mother managed to convince them that it was harmless. She said that when he died, she had gone a little crazy. She couldn't cope with him being gone, so she had just pretended he was in his office, typing away on his novel. I told them that was what she had told me for months, and I think they believed me. Dad's remains were taken to the funeral home, and it goes without saying that his funeral was a closed-casket affair.
As we sat on the front row, though, I heard something that would haunt me until I went into the ground myself.
Dad may not have been able to scream, but it seemed his work went on regardless.
As I sat there with Mom, my mother sobbing as she heard the all too familiar sound, we both heard the low tapping as those bony fingers smacked against the lid of the coffin.
I can only assume that they still press against the lid even now, my father's last story worn into the wood of his coffin.

Love the idea of finding a girl to hold hands with on dates. I hope you love to do your makeup and dress up all cute. I love when a woman takes the time to get her nails done and feel really pretty. I love the dynamic of a girly girl with a bearded rocker look. It’s fun to turn heads and be that couple that likes to show off.
Little more about me: 6ft 2, blue eyes, long brown hair, athletic/ in shape, beard, tattoos. I work out and hike a lot. I look like I either play bass in a metal band or a burly woodsman with a flannel. I have a bunch of pics if you want to trade. Willing to travel if you like adventure! Lets go somewhere and show off as really clingy couple. Hope we can build this together and really experience some fun times.

Love the idea of finding a girl to hold hands with on dates. I hope you love to do your makeup and dress up all cute. I love when a woman takes the time to get her nails done and feel really pretty. I love the dynamic of a girly girl with a bearded rocker look. It’s fun to turn heads and be that couple that likes to show off.
Little more about me: 6ft 2, blue eyes, long brown hair, athletic/ in shape, beard, tattoos. I work out and hike a lot. I look like I either play bass in a metal band or a burly woodsman with a flannel. I have a bunch of pics if you want to trade. Willing to travel if you like adventure! Lets go somewhere and show off as really clingy couple. Hope we can build this together and really experience some fun times.

I stepped out into the night, bent on my quest, the smell smoke and urine filling my nostrils. I narrowly avoided stepping on one of the sacks of brown pestilence left by one who had come before me. Still reeling from my near miss, I breathed in sharply when a vile creature skittered out of a shadow. My body shuddered as it loosed its foul mating call at me. "Five dolla, make ya holla," fell out of its wrinkled lips as its bloodshot gaze fell upon me. Quickly, I uttered the incantation my trainer taught me to repel these vile harpies. "No thank you, ma'am." It slithered off into the dark, seeking prey elsewhere.
Not being feint of heart, and not turning aside form my quest so easily, I continued on. Not long upon my road I met a sotted traveler gibbering in riddles. "I'mtryingtogetmypregnantwifetothehospitalandIranoutofgasandIreallyjustneedafewbuckstomakeitIthinksheshavingthebabyrightnowandI'vegottogettothehospitalIfyoucouldjustspareafewdollars.." The stream of babble wandered on and on like a brook through a green valley. None of this making any sense, I called again upon the words of my trainer. "Sorry, I don't carry cash." No one knows how these travelers came to this state, or what their endless stream of nonsense means. They seem to be under a curse which causes them to eat money. Black magic sorcery.
Finally, the door lay in sight and the path to the treasure unfolded. A light shimmered from inside. The quest may be nearly over, but something told me the adventure had only just begun. I opened the door, upon which an enchantment lay, so that a chime might ring upon it's opening, destroying the stealth of any who would venture therein. "WELCOME TO LOVE'S!!!!!!!!!" A shrill voice rang out to my right as I stepped into the sanctum. Oh god, the demon at the door! My heart quailed and seemed to die within my chest. I made the sign of the cross at the guardian siren and continued on my way, determined not to show fear. This worked, for she seemed not to follow.
At last, my gaze fell upon that which I most desired. Golden with a beauty to outshine any earth-delved gold, brighter than the sun, more dear than life itself. Strange glyphs adorned its alcove, proclaiming for all who had made it so far, "Corn Dogs, 2/$3.00". I stretch out my arm. I could feel the warmth they gave off on my outstretched hand. Slowly, my grasp closed about them. They were mine!
Like with Charon in his ferry boat, in the scrolls of Ohio Statute Law it is written that any who would ferry treasure from this trove of wonders must surrender coin. This is the price of returning to the living lands. I threw the money over my left shoulder and bolted for the door as if the hounds of hell were at my heels. If I could only make it past the siren at the door I might just have a chance. "THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT LOVE'S!!!!!!" she screamed as I ran, but her words had no hold on me. I was out, once more amidst the wreak of urine and burning oil.
All that remained was to eat my corn dogs and go home. Home. The hairs on the back of my neck seemed to stand on end. My head swam and darkness fell about me. Something was wrong. The veil fell from the world, revealing the nightmare that was swallowing me. My corn dogs fell from my clammy hand as I realized... this was home.

My bf and I will be in Tampa for a wedding next week. He wants a haircut but he has long hair so I need a salon that does walk-ins. I'd love any recommendations.

Last night I had a weird dream that I can't tell if it actually happened or it's my imagination but here it is. I had a dream where my alter, Lilith had gotten really upset, she got angry and stated yelling to me on how a friend of ours lied (he told her that Lilith isn't a version of me since she thinks she's not real and hates being an alter) And walked away, before I could even say anything she closed a door and I didn't see her again. I'm not sure how I can help her, she's a persecutor alter and that was the first time she talked to me directly.
Another dream had also happened which is unrelated but I'll say it anyway, I had a dream that I had a tually confirmed it had actually happened, when the weird things started happening it was when I noticed I was in a third person view of another alter that I haven't seen before, I didn't know this alter's actual gender yet since the dream was fuzzy but I do know this alter started to "hit" on Lilith, like trying to go on a date or something, she didn't like this however and kicked them threw a wall. Now that you know context, I can say the current dream, I saw him laying down for a few seconds and I got to confirmed that he was a guy, he just had really long yellow hair and bright greenish eyes and that's when it ended. I'm not sure if this is an actual alter or not which is really confusing me.
But anyway, I mostly mode this post because of the Lilith situation so some answers would be great.

Thanks for reading, and for any and all comments!
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Just One Drop
CH 77 – The Man in Who these Marvels Can Do
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It was the day before Shel, and lunch was becoming a more crowded affair.
Since Melondi’s secret had come out, the girls had taken to favoring a mid-sized table that seated twelve – a sensible number. A small affair no more than twenty feet long, the table was well situated, away from the center of the floor and off to one side. That had been useful, as the layout of the cafeteria put the table near the kitchen freezer. There was an awkward chill in that corner of the room which made it unpopular, and without other students about, the table offered relative privacy.
Of course, twelve was ideal, as it conformed to the needs of their class. The girls of the Practical Humanity class had faced more than their share of scrutiny since the term began, and privacy had become a cherished commodity. Whether it was from curious girls wanting to know what the Human was like, to its current, more immediate needs, the isolation of the spot had made the table a welcome retreat.
That said, today it was getting a bit crowded, and with everyone there, an additional three seats had been needed, with girls shoving in from the sides.
Khe’lark’s attachment to Gun’brei… or more accurately, Brei’s attachment to Lark… had started things, of course. There was usually room for one more, certainly if one of the girls was off somewhere else and missing lunch. Since Melondi’s secret had become a shared one, the table had become a place where Mel could, on occasion, talk less circumspectly. While she’d never slipped up otherwise, she could relax and enjoy her friends without being quite so guarded.
Things had been different before, when Brei hadn’t been cleared by Agent Duvari.
Melondi had never resented Brei as an intrusion, but it was a fact of life that she hadn’t noticed before. The ability to talk with her friends, even in the most circumspect way, had replaced her utter secrecy – or worse, the crafted lies about her history. When Brei joined them for lunch, Melondi had to go back into hiding… and Brei’s presence brought with her a visceral feeling of the loss.
When Kzintshki arrived, the twelve and sometimes thirteen turned to thirteen and sometimes fourteen.
The Pesrin girl’s presence was unmistakable. Kzintshkil was… different. It wasn’t only the matter of her being alien – another species entirely, with her own loyalties and agenda. It was more that Kzintshki kept her own counsel, and while Melondi knew how to read people - even people from other races - the Pesrin girl was largely a closed book. It wasn't something she was used to. She was good with reading people, no matter the species. Generally.
…That carrion incident with the Rakiri delegate could have happened to anybody!...
Of course, while it wasn’t always a full table, fourteen was manageable. Today there were fifteen people crowding in for lunch, which was pushing it.
Not that Prindi Ama’dis was unwelcome. The IOTC girl was another friend of Lark’s by way of the campus vblog; thankfully the question of who knew her secret had largely been settled – both by her request, and the actions of her handler, Agent Duvari. Now her friends knew, which was a greater relief than she’d imagined it could be. Professor Warrick knew, and he’d be allowed to tell Professor Pel’avon. He was holding off until they were back from the ‘honeymoon’. It was an odd term for the usual getaway after a wedding, and he’d explained it as something to do with newly wed couples slipping away for a month and drinking a lot of something called mead. Melondi figured she should have a word of quiet thanks to Professor Pel’avon for taking up so much of Professor Warrick’s time… but it would wait until they were back.
Gun’brei had been oddly muted after finding out. While Brei was a baroness’ daughter, Agent Duvari had opted to lay things out to her in private, as ‘she had an abiding interest in the news’. That probably meant several threats behind closed doors, a reading of general order 24, and signing waivers that didn’t mention words like ‘frozen tundra’. They didn’t need to - Duvari tended to make herself clear enough. It was hard to believe the same bubbly music professor could be so frigid as an Agent, but Duvari had no problems with being convincing.
Melondi looked over at Lark and pursed her lips thoughtfully.
…I still need to make things up to her. I don’t know if clearing Brei counts…
That left the IOTC girls, and as she looked up the table at Prindi, it was hard to believe the world she’d crafted here at the Academy had changed so dramatically. As Lark’s friend, Prindi made an easy liaison with the IOTC girls. Even so, it was tight with her here, and if more of them showed up, something would have to give.
She’d planned to tell her friends, someday… After graduation, when she was off on her own, she’d hoped that some of them might still be in reach… and understanding. They’d all be off starting their own lives, working in their House companies, starting careers, or managing the family holdings. Everyone would go their different ways. But her sister Khelandri’s death had changed everything. She could enjoy her friends now, instead of later, wondering if they would still be hers when she revealed herself as a princess.
It was a bright note in a dark situation, and she cherished it for what it was. She had friends. Real friends that had come to know her outside of the Palace, without any agendas… and she had the time – over two more years – before adult life sent them off on their own paths.
…At least, if I live that long…
That was a gloomy thought, and it was hard to hold onto it. She’d only just hung up on a call from Vedeem. Whenever she talked to him, the future didn’t seem so dark. He’d accepted her for who and what she was as a person… and then he’d done it all over again for who and what she was as a Princess.
…Screw Kamaud’re! I want to live!...
“That was Vedeem. He says they’re putting up a sign and closing the restaurant for a week to ‘celebrate the birth of a boy in the family.'Everything’s ready to start the training tomorrow at 9.” She raised her voice over the animated conversations going on. It was lunch, after all, and with all the jockeying of plates and trays and dishes and whatnot, it was a scramble. If any more girls showed up from the IOTC, they’d have to do something… or at least get a round table. No one could reach anything. “Prindi, can you let your cadre know?”
It was bad timing, since the girl just took a bite, but she nodded quickly, chewing frantically.
“Just take it easy…” Mel looked around past the table with an exaggerated glance. “The nod’s all I need, and you’ll like Vedeem… Hands off, though!”
As a young girl, she’d never expected that she’d need to warn anyone away from her boyfriend… when she finally got one, no one would dare. Just now? If all of this felt new to her, it must be like a bucket of icy surf landing on the IOTC girls… and Vedeem was hers!
Prindi finally cleared her throat and nodded again. “Yes, ummm…”
“Melondi,” she offered helpfully. While the IOTC girl had been giving her curious looks now and then, she’d tried her best to hide them. She still looked like she was struggling. “Remember, it’s just Melondi.”
“Yes…” The idea of calling a Princess something informal looked like it was sticking in the girl’s throat, and she took a way out. “I’ll let them know after lunch.”
“Thank you!” Mel called back. It was something Mother had always insisted on and Lady Wicama had taught her well. Good manners were for everyone. It had even seen her through that carrion incident, though she hadn’t even been five at the time…
…Come to think of it, it was Kamaud’re who ‘helped me out’… and was laughing the loudest…
She felt an ugly blush start to rise, but it faded just as quickly. She’d never known her elder sister except as a distant figure, not a part of her life, really. Even without the attempt on her life, It had grown a lot easier in the last few months not to care for Kamaud’re at all.
The table didn’t take much notice. Jax was in an animated conversation with Nestha about business, while the twins were actually giggling about something. Most of the talk had been about class, though Belda was getting a lot of ribbing and good natured pokes from the others. Tonight was the big night, after all. Even Kzintshki was quietly talking to Desi about the weekend. As the outsider, Prindi seemed to be struggling to fit in, though she hid it well.
“I’m glad you could join us, Prindi,” Melondi offered brightly, trying to keep the girl from feeling too isolated. “I know we sort of keep to ourselves; there was a lot of attention after we got into Professor Warrick’s class. It was a little rough after registration, and you wouldn’t believe some of the questions we got after he did the Marriage Fundamentals seminar.”
“That was rough.” Sephir nodded. “I had one girl ask me if he had any boys in his family, and when they’d be coming. That was pretty embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing?” Prindi blinked doubtfully as she reoriented on Sephir. At 6’11, it seemed impossible to miss the girl. Sephir was a star of the Academy diving team with muscles like titanium cables, but she was so polite and unassuming that it often came as a surprise when she spoke up in conversation. She’d been a lot happier since her future in her House had been sorted, though, and at the moment she was grinning cheerfully at the bewildered look on Prindi’s face.
Prindi cocked her head uncertainly. “How was it embarrassing?”
“Oh… It's just… his wife and his daughter were killed when the Imperium arrived on Earth.”
Belda winced, but still looked relieved at no longer being the center of attention; at least she’d finally stopped blushing.
“Professor Pel’avon asked us not to talk about it at first,” said Sephir with a nod. Even if she looked like a recruiting poster for the Marines, she was a caregiver at heart, and had always shied away from talking about what Warrick called ‘the landings.' “Professor Warrick… Well, you can tell it still hurts him.”
“Yeah,” Nestha chipped in. “He’s smart… and a lot tougher than you’d expect. You just can't think of him as a male.”
“Human male.” Desi broke off her conversation with Kzintshki. “There’s a whole lot going on with him that even the rest of you don’t see. He and I talk a lot at the museum.”
“Is it true he adopted both of you?” Prindi asked, looking from Desi to Kzintshki and back, Melondi forgotten for the first time. “We all heard things and there were a lot of questions after the wedding… I mean, like the dancers! Where did they even come fr-“
“Yes, it's true! Both of us!” Desi broke in abruptly, interrupting Prindi’s train of thought, and Mel started breathing again. If word got out about the Tide Pool, it would probably need more than a General Order and a very angry Interior Agent to keep quiet. Desi was nodding frantically as she enthusiastically changed the subject. “We don’t talk about the wedding, but it's true! It became official when Professor Pel’avon married him. They’re my mothers and father, now.”
“Wow, that’s…” Prindi’s brows knitted a bit as she struggled with the whole wedding. Sure, the whole school had seen it, but the response had been more of a collective silence from around the table. Prindi took the hint and offered a smile. “So… What do you talk about, then? I mean, if not the wedding? What about this war sim? The rest of the cadre couldn’t believe it! I hope we weren’t whispering too loud. Most of us were glued to our omni-pads, gossiping on our Discuss channel. Everybody wants to know more… I can't wait to go through these files!”
“We don’t talk about the war sim. We have team meetings, but aside from those, we don’t. There’s a lot of extra credit on the line,” Dihsala said firmly, giving her a solid nod. “None of us know what’s on those files, though we had an exchange professor that… well, I don’t think she understood the material.”
“Careful, Dihsala, you’re in danger of being kind,” Pris muttered, though there wasn’t any heat in it.
Dihsala sniffed, but said nothing.
Pris pressed on, waving her fork-full of pickled jawaa like a baton. “She’s right, though. None of us know what's in the files, and we probably shouldn’t. Professor Warrick uses this method of teaching… It’s sort of like discovering the material a bit at a time and figuring it out as we go.”
“That sounds… really odd.” Prindi was canting her head fully now, and Mel could just imagine what the girl was thinking. It had been an adjustment. The IOTC girl looked back at Desi, “Sorry. It just does.”
“You don’t have to convince me.” Desi nodded sympathetically, wearing an easy smile. “Once you get used to muppets and furbys-”
“Oh! And ALF!” Jax’mi, broke in, laughing.
“And his music, though that’s really good,” offered one of the twins, as the other nodded. “And we get free movies - things that haven't made it here from Earth yet!”
“It’s a lot, but after a while nothing phases you.” Desi grinned infectiously. “Oh! Mel! Do we know if Aku is going to make it to… you know… the event?”
“I’ll have to ask.” Melondi shook herself out of the reverie of listening. “I know the invitation is getting sent. We can find out tomorrow.”
“Oh…Right.” Desi nodded, but looked back at her plate, subdued. No one knew they were going to the Palace tomorrow except Agent Duvari, who was going to escort them, and Desi was still looking pretty shy about the prospect. Still, everybody else had practice at Human Food…
“There was something we’re all kind of curious about, from the sim… I mean, it's not to do with the sim.” Prindi bit her lip, looking around as the table went suddenly quiet. “We all knew about Earth - I mean, he’s Human. Not about his family, but… things. Anyway, some of us were wondering, and now I guess I really am… umm… why doesn’t he hate us like we're some sort of enemy? There are stories, you know?”
“Desi?” One of the twins looked over at her seriously, setting aside whatever they’d been laughing about. Her sister sniffed, a beat behind. “You know him best.”
“Well, obviously he doesn’t. Hate us, I mean. I think he really means it about the Imperium making Humans citizens. Something he said once kind of stuck with me.” Desi grimaced in thought. “He said he didn’t think of the Imperium as his enemy, because the enemy is someone that tells you to hate that which is different from you, because sooner or later that hate comes back to you… and he said the Imperium hasn't done that.”
“We have kind of messed up there,” Jax’mi sighed unhappily. “I mean, all the news I get back from my family on Earth is great! I had the best letter from my Uncle… but my mothers told me stories. Some of the Houses first gifted with business grants on Earth abused them pretty badly. Not a lot, but the ones that did… Well, it wasn’t just one mess. A couple of the Houses got really carried away, and it took a while to sort out.”
“That sounds like a job for the Interior! The Imperium doesn’t tolerate… umm… that is…” Prindi sat a little taller, and her eyes shone with conviction before she stuttered to a halt, blushing as she glanced back to Melondi. “We’re supposed to stop that sort of thing.”
Mel watched as an awkward silence fell around the table, broken only by Kzintshki slicing away bits of her turox with another of her occasional mutters of “Ick”. It wasn't like she could entirely blame them.
The Empire needed the Interior. There were the boisterous and splashy ones, like House Reshay. There were the quietly dutiful ones, like Belda’s House So’sona and the pharmacological company run by Sephir’s House. There were the quietly powerful ones in the background like House Chel’xa… All of them working at what they did best… but sometimes there were incidents. Bad matrons who lost control of their ambitions. The Empire was vast, and when the Houses couldn't police themselves, it was time for the Empress to do it. That's where the Interior came in.
Mother had been working to rein the Interior in, over time… to bring it back to its core mission. She didn’t talk about it very much, but growing up she’d seen it happen. She could still remember the rumblings in court when she named Opimea Potac - an Edixi - to run the Ministry of Justice. People had said things around a six-year-old they didn’t think would be understood - or remembered - even by a six-year-old Princess. As for her cousin Yn’dara and Prince Adam… It had taken time, but Mother had gotten things under control.
…If only she were here now… but she isn't. I have to handle this myself…
That meant she needed the Interior… someday. Right now, she needed these cadets. Glancing down the table, Desi caught her eye and suddenly snorted. “Seriously, Kzintshki!? What is it with ‘ick’ all the time? You were ready to eat my father alive only a month ago. Now you turn your nose up at anything sweet or fatty? When did you turn into a picky eater, for goddess’ sake!”
“You do not understand. Food is plentiful here. That is understood…” The dusky Pesrin set aside her cutlery and eyed Desi coolly. “You have never seen a fat Pesrin.”
“No…” Desi rocked her head to one side, in exasperation. Kzintshki had a way of making statements out of questions. “But I’d never seen a Pesrin at all, until we met you. What's that got to do with it?”
“Shil and its worlds live without scarcity. Pesh does not. You will never will see a fat Pesrin.” Kzintshki replied cooly, blinking at Desi once. Melindi couldn't decide if the Pesrin girl was exasperated or amused without seeing her tail… her asiak. It was hidden under the table, but it seemed like it conveyed a lot of Pesrin body language - or maybe it was just Kzintshki. “Wasting food when it is plentiful is as much of a sin as wasting food when it is scarce.”
“I suppose…” Desi chewed over the idea while the rest of the girls thought it over.
“Besides, I have my figure to consider.”
“Hey, that’s true. I’ve been worried about everything for tonight!” Belda grinned suddenly. “So, are there any cute Pesrin guys around?”
“Perhaps... though I would not impress him if I were slow and fat.”
Mel thought over the reply. The pause was longer than the Pesrin girl usually took to answer, and she wasn't blinking. Sooner or later she’d figure her out. For the moment she watched as Kzintshki picked up her knife and fork, and cut away another bit of turox with particular deliberation. “Ick…”
“So… you girls get free movies, too?” Prindi asked the twins, looking between the pair tentatively, “Stuff that hasn't come out yet? What’s that like?”
“A lot, yes. The Ministry of Relations closed down on a lot of entertainment from Earth. It’s opening back up, but Professor Warrick has a lot of things no one has seen,” offered one of the K’herbhal sisters. Her twin nodded in sync. “Even with things opening up, they’re still screening for, you know…”
“Treason?” Prindi nodded understandingly.
“Porn!” The twins said in unison, giggling. “Not that we mind, though you could ask Belda for all the details. She’s seen Liam with his shirt off!”
“Goddess damn-it!” Belda started turning blue all over again. “It was only almost off! Almost!”
“You know, we could put off movie night until tomorrow. We can bring food back after training in the morning. Take over the room, have a movie marathon and celebrate,” Pris spoke up. “That way Belda can watch, too!”
“Hey, could you?” Belda grinned. “That would be great!”
“Sure… aaaaand that way we get to drag all the juicy details out of you, too!” Pris smiled back serenely. Melondi watched as Belda started blushing again, and muttered as the others laughed. Goddess love her, Bel was such a farmgirl.
“Ummm… what kind of movies?” Prindi asked, brushing her hair back. “Could I come?”
_ _ _
“You know, this is going to sound odd, but I kind of miss driving," Tom said, leaning back in his seat between Miv and Lea.
It was a comfortable way to ride, and the company was the best. Even with an alien landscape speeding by, it was the oddest feeling. Until he’d come to Shil, he’d always been the one doing the driving. Autocabs were quick and efficient, and other than his regular trip out to Human Food, it wasn't like he knew where things were on Shil… but it felt odd.
“You don't have a license.” Miv tousled his hair, looking at him indulgently while Lea curled in tight on the other side. She was happy as a clam they were all together, but she cocked her head, looking at Miv. “It's only a few weeks of study, if you want to get one.”
“Nah. It was just a stray thought. I’m good with being able to pay attention to you two, and it’s nice actually seeing the world go by.” He pulled them both closer, which Miv enjoyed, and made Lea squeak in pleasure. Lea had been a real princess about the lack of attention and she loved sharing with Miv, but with her work out in Creantauri, what could you do? He smiled and leaned in, kissing her lightly on the neck. This weekend would be all about making it up to them both.
Speaking of which, they were just about there…
The drive had given him ample time to cuddle up with Miv and Lea, which had been a lot of fun - but also just the distraction he’d needed. He’d tossed a jacket over the seatback showing the map display, but as the autocab turned into their destination, there was nothing for it…
“Miv, what’s this?” Lea was the first to notice, and she stared out the window as the cab turned in. Jets of brightly lit water began fountaining up on either side of the cab as it made its way up the long drive, the highway quickly out of sight.
Miv’eire pulled his coat off the seat to peer at the map and frowned in consternation as she looked at the display, “This is all wrong.”
“Actually, no, it isn't.” Tom grinned, pulling her back. “We’re exactly where we need to be.”
“But Tom, this isn’t our hotel!” Miv stared at him blankly, “Oh, love, you must have put the directions in wrong.”
“I canceled us there. Ladies, remember when you were going to take me on a holiday for a weekend? The one we missed thanks to my unscheduled trip to the hospital?” He grinned, enjoying their confusion. Lea was still looking out the window as the view turned from ‘impressive’ to ‘luxurious’ and was quickly heading for ‘‘opulent’. “When I was in recovery, I asked Prince Adam for three favors. Pushing through Desi’s adoption was one… looking into Olea was another… and a weekend somewhere nice to make it up to you both was number three.”
Tom drew Miv back into the seat beside him and slipped his arm back around Lea as she pressed to the window, the drive opening out on the broad vista and the hotel beyond. “Ladies, welcome to the Imperial Ocean Reserve.”
_ _ _
Following at a covert distance, and it had still been an easy drive. With an hour or two left to go, Sgt. Jel’ke had done the driving, leaving Captain Ce’lani to do the sensible thing and get some sleep. Honestly, it was kind of a relief. The Captain had been keyed up over Warrick, and after finally getting out of the bunker it was nice not to make small talk.
Thank the goddess the woman was sensible, but even so, she still had it bad…
…At least I haven’t had to make small talk along the… waitaminute…
Jel’ke frowned as the autocab turned in off the highway and pulled slowly on to the median. There was no doubt about it, the cab had diverted off the drive and was heading out of sight into…
…Well, fuck me…
Being a Deathshead Commando meant being down in the blood and the mud, deployed to some of the worst situations known to woman… but, every so often, it also put you in the way of protecting the great and the powerful.
Jel’ke knew Big Money when she saw it.
“Captain? You need to wake up.” Jel’ke pulled to a stop on the shoulder of the road, “I think we have a problem.”
_ _ _
It was early afternoon when Aku closed the file on his omni-pad.
The end of his tour had passed. He’d survived… at least on the outside. It wouldn't do to look anything less than your best, after all.
On the inside was another matter. His mistress, the Cliffsinger Tranja, had torn apart his every performance from the time he stepped on stage until the final note. Nothing was right. Nothing was good enough. While she hadn’t said he was an embarrassment as an initiate, she hadn’t needed to. The words had hung in the air - tangible, if unspoken.
This was his life.
Sitting in the dark of the enclave’s library, he thought about the tour. It had been an abject misery. If not for Kas’lin and Ka’mara, he’d probably have lost his mind under the pressure.
…If only things were different. I could be a regular guy. Maybe I could have met them instead, or someone like them! Started a family and lived a normal life…
His eyes crept back to his omni-pad. As miserable as he was at that moment, he knew he was telling himself a lie. Even if it had all been different, there was still the music. It burned inside, begging to be let out, and he yearned to make it happen. Even though his mistress seemed determined to sink his hopes into the Deeps, there was still the music. It could not be denied.
He’d kept away from the other initiates after returning to the enclave. They were his competition. He couldn’t see them as anything else, now… but inside it felt like a losing battle. Only one of them would inherit their mistress’ position and title, and it didn't seem likely that it would be him.
In desperation, he’d turned to the archives.
Cliffsinging was old. It was respected. Revered. Generations upon generations of Singers had practiced their art, handing down their names. Over time, the art had become codified… the Singers had become living treasures… but the original works survived. Every generation had added something of their own.
He’d delved deep into the stacks, diving through the recordings, searching the early works. There were files and archives and even printed records… He’d torn through all of them, not knowing what he was looking for until he’d found it.
The song was old - ancient, even - and written by one of the Singers whose name had not become selected as the final Twelve of Shil. The music was haunting, and it burned with a vibrancy that he didn't see in the more modern works - the kind of thing so often in demand now. There was almost no music - the singer's voice rang out alone, echoing off the cliffs accompanied only by a single steel arecha… but the song spoke to him.
The language was stilted with age, but as he’d translated it into more modern terms, it felt comfortable… it had the yearning that he felt inside, and which almost seemed Human in its power as he transcribed and updated it for his presentation.
It was traditional. It was very traditional. If he was going to reclaim his Mistress’ approval, this was what he needed.
He’d give his performance tonight, in front of his Mistress and the others. Show them he was good enough. Show her that he was better than the rest.
The music called and he had to answer.
Aku sighed again, wondering what the twins were doing at school right now. It had to be better than here.
_ _ _
“You are being such a bitch!” Kas’lin said hotly, scowling over the table at Dihsala. Ka’mara scowled over at the girl before joining in. “She’s right. There’s no call for this kind of behavior!”
“You two brought it on yourselves!” Dihsala crossed her arms defiantly, while Desi slumped the chair, resting her head on one fist, and steadfastly refused to join in.
“What are you talking about!? You’re twisting our arms… and… AND! you’re sucking up to Jax’mi!” Kas’lin was on her feet now, pointing at Dihsala, and Kas’lin rose in defense. There wasn't much more she could add to that.
“I don’t suck up to anyone!” Dihsala snapped coldly, though Jaxmi sat back, preening. It was the first happy look on the Chel’xa girl's face, as she’d been left desperately trying to keep the Japanese out of some city called Mecca. “You two brought it on yourselves, sucking up to England with that marriage proposal. You didn't want to join in, so this is what you get for coming late!”
“There’s nothing to get.” Kas’lin swept a hand up at the map on the screen. “They’ve completely swept everything out of Africa!”
“Well, that’s what you get for joining late. Anything you want to take, you can take out of France,” Dihsala said with finality. “Isn't that right, Lark?”
Khe’lark was looking at her omni-pad unhappily, saying nothing. Dihsala turned to look at her this time. “Lark?”
“It’s fine… Really…” Lark said unhappily.
“What?” Dihsala started to frown, and Desi sat up taking notice. “What’s ‘fine’?”
“Well, I didn't want to tell you this… but I think the Czechs are going to declare independence and revolt…”
Kas’lin closed her eyes and settled back in her chair.
The casualties for everyone along the French front lines had been catastrophic, the Spanish were useless, and now things were going to the Deeps with Austria…
…The things I do for extra credit…
_ _ _
“Well, I think the points we spent working on the Czechs and the Slovenes are paying off handsomely,” Let’zi said confidently, though the look around the table wasn’t encouraging.
“At least something is.” Pris grimaced, gesturing up at the map. “I hate to say it, but I don’t think France can last much longer.”
“She’s right. Rotating units up from the South kept the Germans out of Paris,” Sephir sighed gloomily. “But morale was shot with the units we rotated back South. We hoped they’d recover, but with Spain and Italy attacking? Unless we catch a break, I think our whole army will mutiny soon.”
“They can’t keep it up. They’ve lost all their colonies, now they have to fight in every direction at once.” Let’zi shook her head and tried sounding confident, though it was dimmed. “They can't do it. No one could!”
“She’s right, and England is mobilized now.” Melondi studied the map carefully, “Japan is all over the Ottomans in the South. Russia is… well… holding their own…”
“I’m doing the best I can…” Nestha huffed, crossing her arms. “Though yeah, the Ottomans are turning around and sending troops back South.”
“That’s right,” Melondi said brightly. “Besides, now we have Belda on our side!”
The girls looked over at Belda… who was staring off into space in a world of her own.
“Look, let’s call it a day. Bel has to go get dressed.” Mel grinned as Belda looked up, utterly lost. “She’s got a big evening.”
_ _ _
“Lieutenant, you aren't going to believe this…”
Lt. Peheli Tala looked over from the control board warily to where Sgt Diani was sitting in the right seat at observation. The bunker pods were all jumbled up with Captain Ton’is and Sgt. Jel’ke out on their trip, leaving Tala to fill in. It was a nice change of pace from running checks in the service corridors and updating the gear in the bunker.
Diani had been running the boards while telling long war stories to Sgt Vaeko, who was busily running the odds on that morning’s ‘wargame’ while monitoring the girls’ strategy sessions.
Words like that out of nowhere were not what she’d wanted to hear.
Diani and Vaeko had been keeping up a constant stream of conversation, both talking and only mostly listening to the other. It was enough to make her miss the quiet of the tunnels, and she’d started to tune out the idle chatter. Diani’s words snapped her back to reality in an instant, her heart pounding.
“Report Sgt!” Tala snapped the words out, but she was already pulling up the campus map on the main board, checking frantically for any sitreps from the ground team. No alarms had gone off yet, but it was probably only seconds away.
…Where's the alarm? Why hasn't anyone punched the alarm!? I’ll have to call Agent Duvari, and…
“It’s Captain Ton’is and Jel’ke.” Diani had a cheesy grin plastered over her wide features. “They need us to make some calls and get em a hotel room… You aren’t gonna believe where.”
Tala could feel her heart thudding in her chest. No alarms had gone off. There was no intrusion along the perimeter…
“A… a what?”
_ _ _
The Imperial Ocean Reserve was everything that Tom could have hoped for. It was old by Shil’vati standards, but that didn't mean tired. It meant historic, and walking into the lobby conjured up images only found in history books. The Reserve was a place where parasols graced the lawns in Summer and moonlight walks on the open beach were the norm. On Earth, it was the sort of place you could envision steamer trunks and top hats.
There were three restaurants along the veranda, and a bar, shops, and sumptuous indoor pool that served guests all year long. The hotel was vast. Not in the sense of catering to all comers, but spacious. It occupied its grounds like a crowning jewel.
As for their room?
It had a luxurious bed he could get lost in, more than capable of sleeping six Shil’vati. While he usually wasn’t big on the details, even he noticed the richly embroidered linens, what seemed like down pillows, the plush towels in the marble bathroom, well-stocked bar, and an in-room omni-pad to call for room service and requests.
That the whole suite lay beneath the ocean, with a glass roof and walls looking out from their bedroom at the surrounding coral reef, didn’t hurt either.
It was quite a place, but as the girls got started with the unpacking, he slipped out. It had always been his habit to poke around, and finding the best place for dinner reservations seemed like a good idea. A few minutes scouting out the restaurants would save time later…
At least, that had been the idea. The verandah surrounding the hotel proper had a lovely view directly off the beach, and as anyone would expect, it drew admiring guests… One of which happened to be Lady Vonde, the Duchess of House Jo’lare.
Tom hadn't seen the woman since Pre-term, when she’d attached herself to him in the tour, insistently tried to get him to ‘come for a visit,' and pinched his ass while showing her daughter around the campus. She’d been noteworthy in managing to do it more discreetly than most, but still…
Just at the moment Lady Vonde was in a shouting match against someone named Duchess Pyanfar, who’d swarmed down on him only a minute before Vonde. Pyanfar had started in on him with her retinue, breathlessly cooing about how charmed she was to meet him and wanting to hear all the details about Human marriages, and of course, she’d seen the captivating video on the news. It was just sooo rustic, positively enthralling, going native like that!
But Vonde spotted him and wasn’t having any of it, loudly insisting that he’d agreed to visit, and did Pyanfar know who she was!? Then her retinue started pushing Vonde’s retinue, while a crowd started to gather around the scene…
Tom was the only non-Shil in the room, and being 6’2 and pink, it wasn't easy to make himself invisible. He still did his best, though it was more a testament to the crowd of angry retainers around Vonde and Pyanfar that he got as far as the door of the bar. He kept his eyes behind him on the crowd as he made a break for it, barging first into a glass followed by a massive pair of breasts…
“Oh! Geeze…” Tom stepped back, “I’m terribly sorry Miss…”
A meaty hand clamped down on his arm painfully, and Tom looked up into the ruddy face of Tirola Reshay, Nestha’s kho-mother.
Disheveled and stinking of alcohol,Tirola wasn't in good shape. She’d emerged from the bar with her own crowd of hangers-on, including a Shil’vati guy hanging on her arm, and while she’d somehow managed to hang on to her glass, the collision had drenched her top in Blue Grail. Her eyes widened as she looked down at him and she growled, “You!!!”
…Alright, she isn’t in a good mood, though the last time I saw her she’d been unconscious in a pool of her own vomit…
Tirola made the mistake of clamping down harder, and Tom cried out in pained surprise. “Hey, get your damn hand off me!”
“Oh, you’re coming with me." Tirola tugged him closer…
Tom’s fingers spread and he jabbed. The strike was clumsy and he was off balance, but as eye-pokes went, it did the job.
Tirola let go of him and bellowed, her hand flying to one eye. The skinny guy thrown off her arm shrieked in bantam fury as he was thrown to the ground.
Then things got a little crazy.
_ _ _
Sgt. Jel’ke knew Big Money. She also knew when Big Money was fobbing her off. Thus far, they’d made it to the lobby and the reservation staff.
The ‘request’ had come down through official channels, but the Manager wasn't happy about it. Despite some ever-so-polite words, it seemed another call eventually came through and did the trick. The Manager accepted their story, and started offering over a room key with only a trace of disdain…
Out in the lobby, there was a scream.
It was followed a minute later by the sight of Tom Warrick pelting up the hall at a dead run and ducking into one of the gift shops, pursued by several mobs of women caught up in fighting each other as much as chasing after him.
“Captain, I-”
It was no use. Ce’lani Ton’is had already charged, and was racing across the lobby in hot pursuit. Glancing down at their meager baggage, she had the presence of mind to snatch the key from the Manager’s hand before she could take it back.
Somewhere up the hall Ce’lani bellowed.
Moments later a thunderous crash rumbled from somewhere up the hall. It was followed by the sound of delicate things breaking, considerably more shouting, and a soft cloud of plaster dust that gently wafted around the corner.
Jel’ke turned to the wide-eyed receptionist behind the counter and gave him a rakish smile. “So, what time is dinner?”

I am looking to be impregnated again. I'm 33, white, hazel eyes, have light brown hair, very busty, and have produced 4 kids from hookups. I am chubby (185 lbs), 5'3".
I am married but he is aware about the kids and is infertile. I am not looking for long term commitment beyond breeding.

I have a cocker spaniel/poodle mix.
I noticed originally that groomers would keep her hair fairly long when grooming her, but as I just figured in the 'i could become allergic ' reasoning into getting a non shedding dog and not the 'brush her regularly or suffer' part so she would get some mats in-between grooming appointments.
I've been shaving her for a while now and I generally keep her hair pretty short. It doesn't get matted, it's easier to maintain, trims take a little less time which she seems to like.
But I hear things about 'messing up their coat' and want to know if there is a reason I shouldn't keep her hair short, or if there's a specific minimum length that it should be kept at?

I had to take my 7 month old to the emergency room yesterday for a hair tourniquet around her middle toe. I had read online that this could happen but never imagined it would actually happen to my baby. She was acting totally normal and I didn't suspect anything was wrong. During a routine diaper change I noticed that half of her toe looked painfully swollen and just immediately recognized it must be a hair tourniquet. This was totally out of nowhere. She had just taken a long nap and was smiling with me!
I wasn't sure what to do bc I couldn't get the hair out immediately, so I called the pediatrician for advice, thinking maybe they'd tell me to bring her into the office. To my shock and horror they told me I needed to take her to the emergency room straight away! That wasn't what I wanted to hear at all, but I just immediately put her in the car and headed that way. It was awful. Fortunately the hospital was able to treat it and we were discharged without any need for follow up care or anything. The doctors confirmed it was the right thing to do bringing her in and basically told me this is a freak thing that happens to babies sometimes, and there's nothing you can really do to prevent it. 🫤
Anyway I'm wondering if anyone else has been thru this and had a similar experience or if you received any different advice? The doctors simply applied Nair and it dissolved the hair. TBH it looked like something I could have done myself, but I just wanted to follow the instructions from my pediatrician to have baby seen in a hospital bc they were very straightforward about telling me to go to the ER.
A second issue is my husband's reaction to all of this. He had to leave work to go get our toddler from school. I called him immediately after the pediatrician told me to take baby to the ER, and he just acted pissed off and tried to convince me it wasn't necessary to take baby to the hospital (he told me to just wait a few hours until he got home). But how could I disregard the pediatrician's instructions? I told him it was a medical emergency and could not wait. He had never previously heard of a hair tourniquet but he Googled it and decided that he knew better than the doctor. I'm creeped out by his reaction and seriously questioning his judgment at this point.
The whole hospital incident took about 4 hours and I felt very exhausted and upset by the time I got home. My husband downplayed the whole thing and told me I just need to "chill out" more. He was acting strange and goofy when I got home and when I confronted him he said he smoked "a huge joint" on the way home from work, aka on his way to pick our toddler up from school. I'm at a loss for words on how disappointed I am in his behavior during a time that was extremely stressful for me.
WTF.

I wanted to cut layers in my hair as I always do, but this time, I messed up big time! I feel so stupid and sad.
My hair is hip length and a big chunk in the front is not even chin length, it's like a bob with hip length hair at the back, man I loved my hair! Everyone loved my hair and now I feel so embarrassed because everyone is asking me, what happened? I feel so sad, I'm constantly Googling how long does hair take to grow out but it's so uneven, and that bothers me so much!
That's why I cut it in the first place because it was slightly uneven and it triggered my OCD, do people who have both bipolar and OCD, know what I mean? Sometimes, my OCD triggers a manic episode, and it's so hard to ignore these silly and persistent thoughts.
Any advice?

I've been using black box dye on my auburn /reddish brown hair for a couple of years. I want to switch to getting it professionally colored. I still want it black. I'm curious how much processing will need to be done to my hair. Will the old black box color need to be lifted out? Also, how long should I wait after dying to have it colored? Thanks!
P.s. I have never had my hair professionally colored before.

A quick fill-in for some context. I started a DnD campaign a little while ago, and the DM asked us for ideas for mounts that we could eventually ride. I asked if I could ride a purple and white Yoshi since that's the color scheme of my character, and she said that was fine. I asked if it could be wearing shoes of my choice, so long as they were aesthetics and not a magic item, and she said yes. So that might be needed info if you read the story. If you want an explanation for the tax fraud, I think it's probably just better left unsaid. I haven't really shared my writing online since it's mainly for fun, but if you wanted to give some critique, I'm always down. Otherwise, this was just something fun I wanted to share with everyone. Anyway, here's my mount's introduction into the Dnd campaign:
​
It was his first day on the job. Steven Career stood like a marble statue in the courtyard of the enormous stone prison. That morning, he had polished his black leather boots, shaved his balding head, and oiled his thick, brown, handlebar mustache. It wasn't a protocol, but all the guards stood in the same position on the front line of the property: Legs spread at shoulder width, eyes straight ahead, and thumbs hooked into their belt buckles. The day was peaceful. A light drizzle of chilled autumn rain lightly coated the yard, and a soft breeze blew dried leaves across Cheshire Prison's paved walkway. The sky was a cool gray as the rainclouds overhead preserved the calm atmosphere below.
"Man, this job is such a breeze," Steven said to himself beneath his breath. "I could get real used to this."
No sooner did the words leave his hair-lined lip before he heard it.
Behind him, from deeper within the prison, the crack of a massive explosion sent a shockwave rippling through the air. It was so powerful that Steven was knocked forward onto the ground. He didn't even have enough time to turn around before the screams of men could be heard echoing through the halls of the prison lobby.
His ears were still ringing when he gathered the strength to turn around. Through his daze, the next thing he noticed was the smell. Then he saw the smoke.
The entire main hall of the prison was on fire. Bright flames tossed embers in every direction, as if commanded by a chaotic god to spread the seeds of hellfire. The sight sent a shudder of terror that started at the base of his neck and pulsated through each vertebrae. He was not equipped to deal with this. The confidence that he felt just moments prior had been completely replaced with a primal fear. His life was at stake, and he knew it.
Everything was happening so quickly. The explosion, the smell, the smoke, then the second explosion. This time, however, it was from the main hall. Molten debris filled the air yet again, and a pressure roared through the entrance so great it pushed him backwards ten feet, flinging him like a helpless ragdoll.
Steven, still prone, looked up from the dirt with tears in his eyes. Through the flames, he could see a figure. A man. He was running at full speed towards him. His arms were raised over his head, and a blue cloak (worn only by commanders) flapped in the air, on fire, behind him.
In the brief moment when their eyes met, another explosion erupted from the prison, and the man was launched forward, landing him within an arm's reach of Steven. His face was covered in blood. Half of his thick handlebar mustache was seared off. A single lense of his aviator glasses had been shattered, letting a single green eye peer through and look with a stern intensity at Steven.
He could only muster one word in that moment. "Run."
But Steven could not run. Reality simply gave him no time to do anything more than peer into the flame as the creature emerged.
It sauntered. The slow, rhythmic ticks of footfall seemed to be the only sound that cut through the fire, which gently crackled in the background. Blazing, crimson flames obscured the features, and cast a dark shadow upon the figure, revealing only its bulbous outline at first. As it walked, the finer details emerged.
It was a lizard, but it walked upright on two legs. It's scales were a grotesque, milky mixture of white and purple. It's features were indeed bulbous, including its eyes, head, and snout. Below the head, a long, thick neck connected to a round torso, which was covered with a slimy purple shell. It was wearing red air force ones.
Side to side, the eyes moved. Across the charred debris, over the black grass, and finally onto Steven and the commander.
For a moment they stopped, as if thinking of what to do next. The self awareness in its expression hinted that this was an intelligent creature. It gazed at them, planning, coming to a decision. Ultimately, it shrugged them off with a dismissive glance, and lurched into the tree line with an agility usually displayed by large cats.
The men were saved. There was no way they could defend themselves if the monster chose to attack. Steven was badly bloodied and bruised from the falls. It was the commander who mustered the strength to stand.
From the ground, Steven looked up at him and managed to speak. "What," he coughed, "What was that thing?"
The commander slowly shook his head. He raised a shaking hand, removed the aviators, and tossed them aside.
Steven could only manage to ask one more question.
"Why... Why was it here?"
To that, the commander shook his head knowingly. He began to walk, the burning prison at his back. He reached into his cloak and pulled out a second pair of aviators. Slowly, he began to lower them onto his face, and moments before the final explosion, which decimated all life within a mile of the prison, he answered Steven's question.
"Tax fraud."

Some people like their dating to be clean and romantic, others like it dirty. Click on which you prefer (or both)
Clean Version
I'm looking for a young woman who would like a relationship involving having children. I want someone who would like children soon because I'm not getting any younger, but its fine if you use birth control until you make your mind up. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm having sex with you, you have my permission to get pregnant or not as you choose. You can live with me or visit often before and after conception. I'd like a long term relationship and ideally would like at least two children
Dirty Version
I'm a much older man looking for a young woman/women who will let me fill her juicy fertile pussy as often as possible with my cum with the aim of knocking you up, so I can enjoy your belly growing and I can share your nice full milky tits. I want to knock you up as soon as possible, so please stop birth control and remove any implants if you have them. After you get pregnant I want you to live with me or at least visit often so I can enjoy and explore your growing body, and so I can breed you again after you've pushed the first child out.
I realise what I'm looking for may be hard to find, so I won't be surprised to be reposting this in 6 months, but its enjoyable talking to people whilst looking. 😀
Unlike many on here, I'm not just looking to talk about doing this (although that's fun) I'm looking to meet up with someone and actually do it. Ideally you will be in the UK or a short plane journey away. Willing to talk to people further away but will be upfront and say the closer you are the more likely this will happen.
You:

• any legal age under 25 ^{For some reason I am often asked 'is my age okay' and the answer is yes if you are under the age limit}
• want to have children early
• live in England or able to get there!
• any religion as long as you don't mind me being agnostic
• any ethnicity

Me:

• white, 5'11" blue eyes, brown hair
• professional, work remotely but I have to be in England to work.
• needs exercise - New Years Resolution to do cycling!
• enjoys musicals and theatre
• not rich but high income. I'd be paying all living costs
• married but have lived separately for 15 years or so
• 3 adult children

I live in a large village but it has a railway station just 5 mins away on a direct line to London.
I believe that in a relationship I should help you achieve your goal in life, whether it's a career or being a stay at home parent, but I'm there to be a partner, not baby you 24/7. Similarly, although I want someone younger, you're not my slave (except in fun roleplay!).
Sex
I believe in spontaneity so after agreeing to have sex the first time, you don't have to ask to start things next time, however "Stop" and "Not Right Now" are valid!
I'm not a great believer in sexual extremes, but have no objection to fun. I will mainly be turned on by the fact that someone beautiful is happy to be with me.
​
^{As people decide they just want online fun or not to go for this at all stages, I'll probably repost this until someone is in a committed real life relationship with me !}

Night. Starlight Night. The golden city plunged into the kingdom of Martheus. Myriads of bright stars shine in the sky.

Standing on the balcony of his chambers is a white-clad guy with long drip-white hair. In blue eyes, like lapis lazuli, heavenly diamonds are reflected, and tears have accumulated in their corners. He stay alone. Again. As in those times when he was a small, useless boy, those days when his mind was not struck by that cancer spell that changed his life once and for all. He dreamed..... He imagined in his imagination how he stands not alone. There are two on the balcony. A light breeze flutters their hair. Blue eyes stare into the red rubies opposite. And both know or hope that they will never be alone. That they will share the eternity of their immortal lives for two. In his thoughts, he did not notice how another person entered the chambers. Behind the blond, like a shadow, stood a brown-haired man, dressed in the same way, but in all black. Like a cat, he quietly crept up to the pharaoh and covered his eyes with his palms, blocking the view of the night sky of Egyptus. “Guess who,” a painfully familiar voice suddenly sounded in the lingering silence of the chambers, which made the blue-eyed one shudder. In front of his eyes were the palms of the person closest to his heart. A man whom he personally betrayed, breaking his life. A man who once could still love... The blond couldn't believe his ears when he heard that voice. Streams of tears ran down her cheeks. With his hands, he grabbed the brown-haired wrists in the hope of not losing him again. Palms with only two rings wandered over the so familiar, native hands of the one standing behind. - Sun..., - the blonde said in a slightly trembling voice, - I'm sorry ... “Forgive me, no matter how stupid it sounds at the time of the current situation,” an incredible tenderness was heard in the voice of the speaker, “I can’t watch you suffer alone. Pressing even closer to the blue-eyed man, his interlocutor removed his palms from his eyes and put them on his shoulders, which did not suit the blond. Turning, the elder put his arm around the brown-haired woman's waist and buried his face in his chest, where he gave vent to the surging emotions. - Now I know what it was like for you ... I was left alone ... - through sobs, the blond uttered, raising his head and fixing his bottomless blue eyes on the brown-haired man. - That's why I'm here now, - he smiled, contradicting his own emotions and feelings, red-eyed, stroking his hair with his palm and twisting it between his fingers. Then, leaning towards the blond's face, he gently kissed his wet cheek. - I love you, honey, - looking into the pupils widening in surprise and stroking his cheekbone with his thumb, the brown-haired man said. - R-really? - quietly sounded in the viscous silence of the chambers. - Is it true. *** Night. Starlight Night. The golden city plunged into the kingdom of Martheus. Myriads of bright stars shine in the sky. There were two people on the balcony. A light breeze ruffled their hair. Blue eyes stared at the red rubies opposite. And now both knew - now they will never be alone. Now they will share eternity for two. 

Some people like their dating to be clean and romantic, others like it dirty. Click on which you prefer (or both)
Clean Version
I'm looking for a young woman who would like a relationship involving having children. I want someone who would like children soon because I'm not getting any younger, but its fine if you use birth control until you make your mind up. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm having sex with you, you have my permission to get pregnant or not as you choose. You can live with me or visit often before and after conception. I'd like a long term relationship and ideally would like at least two children
Dirty Version
I'm a much older man looking for a young woman/women who will let me fill her juicy fertile pussy as often as possible with my cum with the aim of knocking you up, so I can enjoy your belly growing and I can share your nice full milky tits. I want to knock you up as soon as possible, so please stop birth control and remove any implants if you have them. After you get pregnant I want you to live with me or at least visit often so I can enjoy and explore your growing body, and so I can breed you again after you've pushed the first child out.
I realise what I'm looking for may be hard to find, so I won't be surprised to be reposting this in 6 months, but its enjoyable talking to people whilst looking. 😀
Unlike many on here, I'm not just looking to talk about doing this (although that's fun) I'm looking to meet up with someone and actually do it. Ideally you will be in the UK or a short plane journey away. Willing to talk to people further away but will be upfront and say the closer you are the more likely this will happen.
You:

• any legal age under 25 ^{For some reason I am often asked 'is my age okay' and the answer is yes if you are under the age limit}
• want to have children early
• live in England or able to get there!
• any religion as long as you don't mind me being agnostic
• any ethnicity

Me:

• white, 5'11" blue eyes, brown hair
• professional, work remotely but I have to be in England to work.
• needs exercise - New Years Resolution to do cycling!
• enjoys musicals and theatre
• not rich but high income. I'd be paying all living costs
• married but have lived separately for 15 years or so
• 3 adult children

I live in a large village but it has a railway station just 5 mins away on a direct line to London.
I believe that in a relationship I should help you achieve your goal in life, whether it's a career or being a stay at home parent, but I'm there to be a partner, not baby you 24/7. Similarly, although I want someone younger, you're not my slave (except in fun roleplay!).
Sex
I believe in spontaneity so after agreeing to have sex the first time, you don't have to ask to start things next time, however "Stop" and "Not Right Now" are valid!
I'm not a great believer in sexual extremes, but have no objection to fun. I will mainly be turned on by the fact that someone beautiful is happy to be with me.
Messaging links:

Wickr
vampyrebite
Session
058a5ad97c9663d08654e64d8e5702b548e617e37ab059688ec14b1bfb0ba17770
Telegram
@biteyVampyre

​
^{I apologise if this is a deal breaker, but due to the prevalence of people who are fake 👎 or just looking for fun {fine 👍}, I will have to keep this post live until I am in a committed physical relationship with someone!}

Real name: Amelia renske Difficulty: very hard Height: medium Terror radius: 32 meters Move speed: 4.4 Lullaby (wailing): 40 meters Weapon: hand when attacking tears will form to make her nails longer Appearance: she wears a much to long white dress that is very dirty near the bottom and drags behind her, her hair is long and black but it never covers her face
Power: cry: press active ability button 1 to cry for 1 second this will apply a 10% hinderd affect for you and anyone in chase with you for 10 seconds this ability has a 10 seconds cooldown. (This affect stacks)
Power: wailing: press active ability button 2 to enter a wailing state (takes 2 seconds). In this state you cannot move as you collapse onto the ground and cry, you become undectable, your lullaby size is doubled, and you can no longer discern which direction it comes from, additionally when in this state you have a third person camera like a survivor and are able to look around like one. (Takes 2 seconds to exit)
Perks:
Absolute agony: you hate that your here and what you have to do. Whenever you miss a basic attack in chase you are stunned for 3/2.5/2 seconds. (this will also count as a stun for the survivor and will activate any perks that requires one) "why?" -amelia renske
Thick skull: you usually break whatever hits you, before it can break you. Whenever you are stunned by a pallet increase the stun by 2/1.5/1 seconds but instantly destroy the pallet. "Your tough but you can't do stuff like that all the time" -juliana renske
Hex: dragged down: you may be going down but not alone. while this hex is lit up you suffer from a 25% reduction speed in breaking actions and killer interactions, survivors also received a 25% speed reduction to healing and unhooking speeds until this hex is cleansed. "Hey let go of me!"
Add ons: brown:
Used handkerchief: increase the hinderd affect of cry by 2%.
Soggy pillow: Cry now only affects the witch increase points in deviousness by 100%.
Scary story: wailing now dosen't make you undetectable and no longer makes survivors unable to discern were your lullaby comes from increase points in deviousness by 100%
Old tissue box: Increase the speed that you enter wailing by 25%
Yellow:
Tear cup: Decrease cooldown of cry by 10%
Clean handkerchief: Increase the hinderd affect of cry by 3%
Childrens book: Increase the lullaby size by 4 meters
Sad photogragh: If you use wailing in chase all survivors will scream revealing their location
Mothers old telescope: Using wailing will increase any aura reading indefinitely until you exit wailing.
Green:
Mothers star map: any survivor affected by cry will have their aura revealed to you.
Bowl of tears: cry can now store up to 2 charges.
Letter of resignation: If you exit chase with a hindered survivor you gain a 10% haste affect for 10 seconds and will remove any hinderd affect.
Slow dance instructions: Cry will now also decrease vault speed by 10% for 10 seconds for any one affected.
Personal handkerchief: Decrease cooldown of cry by 25%
Purple:
Mothers bedtime story: Cry is now a 10 meter aoe around the witch which will also make survivors scream.
Your terror radius and lullaby sizes are swapped and wailing will now increase the size of your terror radius.
Tub of tears: cry is now map wide you can now hold the button to constantly cry and apply a 10% repair slowdown on top of the regular hindered.
Mothers concerned letter: You can now move while wailing at a majorly reduced speed (1.0 mps) you can now instantly exit wailing.
Iridescent:
Photograghs of the past: Cry now has the range of your lullaby and it can be used while wailing cry now makes survivors scream (overtakes mother bedtime story) "... and now it's gone ... never coming back." -Amelia renske
Mothers record player: When wailing is used in chase you release a earsplitting shriek (not actually that would be annoying) all survivors recieve a hard skill check if they fail they stop and cry for 10 seconds or until they are damaged (adrenaline buff: adrenaline will now make survivors stop crying) wailing now has a 120 second cooldown. (This will not affect survivors who are deafened by flashbang or are in a locker). "OH come on you used to love this one." -Juliana renske
Lore: Amelia lived quite the quiet life she did not leave the house often instead she liked to read, her mother however was quite adventurous and would often drag her along to wherever she wanted to, Amelia was always reluctant to go unless they went upto the roof and looked up at the stars that one was always her favorite. One day while waiting for her mother to return home with new books Amelia herself got a little adventurous and took a look upto the attic to snoop around for something new to read she found mostly old photos and letters but did find a big black leather bound book she opened it and started flipping through it, it talked about someone's experience with murder and how they felt about it "they liked it?" Amelia asked herself she kept reading and soon the actions and feelings written within the book began to feel like her own, as she continued to read she felt a swirling within themselves like her own emotions and the ones from the book were fighting eachother for control it worsened and worsened with each flip of the page. She could take it no longer she closed the books and began downstairs to confront her mother about this book but as soon as she took a step down the attic stairs she tripped. she closed her eyes and braced for impact, but when she landed she felt completely fine she opened her eyes and noticed she was no longer in her house instead in some sort of unfamiliar forest. a voice called out it was In a language she didn't know of but she understood perfectly "kill them or suffer yourself" she didn't want to but she knew that she couldn't disobey she knew where she was the book told her that much.
Extras:
stun: she drops and begins sobbing this animation dosen't slow down with longer stuns but instead loops more times
Wall break: she puts her back against it and sits down it breaks behind her and she falls with it(dosen't turn her around)
Pallet/generator break: she places a hand on it and tears cover it breaking it
Weapon clean: she raises a hand in front of her and the tears drip off
Load in: starts with her crying on the floor then she stands up
Pick up: she looks at the survivor then tear tendrils grab at the survivor and begin holding them next to the witch
Hook: she backs up and the tear tendrils hook the survivor cleanly
Notes: this pretty much just a joke killer like a hard mode similar to using no mither all of this is in the same vain looks like it is useful but it's not supposed to be except for the add ons I kinda made them useful, feedback appreciated.