Call of duty mega construx sets
Call Of Duty 2: Games, Maps, Mods
2016.03.02 09:47 nibbio1990 Call Of Duty 2: Games, Maps, Mods
Custom Maps and Mods for Call of Duty 2 (Mac/PC). If you find some not-working link or not-working map/mod/other write us. Do you have some cool stuff to share? Share it on main sub-reddit page!If it's good stuff we'll be glad to add it to our sidebar.
2010.12.10 04:27 halberdier25 Reserve Officers' Training Corps
2023.05.30 12:46 gemdv 34[F4M] Painitin natin ang maulan na gabi.
Libog ka din ba nowadays? Let me know if you want to avail of SOP/VC with me. Message me if you're into big breasted ladies with a dirty mouth. We'll schedule a call.
About me: -A tita, who's chubby in all the right places. - Maungol ako kaya I close my doors and windows here in my place - I can be your sub or dom. I'm quite kinky and can jump on board most fantasy scenarios... Just like ass eating. (Kasi in reality mahilig ako kumain ng masarap na pwet! Ahaha) - i love to dirty talk and make my man moan in pleasure (tang*na! I love it when a guy moans esp when he's about to cum na) - For VC set up, you'll be able to see my whole body... Plus me playing with my toy š§š§š§ - If turned on din ako sayo... You might even see me squirt
So yeah, just contact me if you're interested! I can be your mommy or baby! šā„ļø
P.S.
Thank you for the overwhelming response. ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø If I'm not able to accommodate you tonight. Just contact me and we can set a schedule.
submitted by
gemdv to
phR4R30 [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:45 Far-Ad-331 FPS increase in Squad!
Good afternoon from Russia! I found a way to increase FPS in Squad! Up to 5 units! What do we need for this? Go to the local files of the squad in steam, run SquadGame.exe as administrator, and then wait for it to start. Then, open the task manager, right-click on the squad process -> details -> look for the SquadGame.exe process -> right-click -> set affinity, and leave only even threads -> click OK. All! + 5 FPS on my system: R5 2600, RTX 3050, DDR4 DIMM 16Gb (2x8Gb), 3200MHz. For your convenience, I have recorded a short video showing what, where and where to click. To be honest, I don't know how this method will work on your systems. Therefore, I ask you to try it, and share your tests and PC configurations. It is worth noting that this method has to be repeated after each restart of the game. I hope I could help at least someone improve the quality of the game. Thank you!P.S. My knowledge of english is very poor, so this text was simply translated through google translator. I apologize if some words or sentences are terrible. It's just that I considered it my duty to share this method with our English-speaking friends. GLHF!
https://reddit.com/link/13vmuew/video/oqno8ez2pz2b1/player submitted by
Far-Ad-331 to
joinsquad [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:44 Mental_Candy_2785 Beach Wedding Attire: What to Wear to a Beach Wedding - Shoppersstop
| Everyone wants to look distinctive, irrespective of the event and occasion. If you have an invitation to a beach wedding shortly, what to wear could be the question popping into your mind. With the market offering an endless range of dresses, suits, shirts, shoes, sandals, and wedding wear, deciding what to wear is even more confusing. When shopping for such weddings, you may think about buying a little more comfy and casual attire. Your choice will depend on the venue and the look you want to achieve on the day you have been eagerly waiting for. Here is what you can and should wear to a beach wedding to rock the party hard. Understand beach wedding attire Your beach wedding attire may vary depending on the formality of the event. However, generally, it requires casual and comfortable fabrics and accessories instead of formal and traditional ones. Such events typically call for wearing bright colours. Dress pants and printed shirts are more common beach wedding attire for men. Women may prefer suits, dresses, and frocks . And for these dresses, look no further than Shoppers Stop wedding wear. https://preview.redd.it/g8ydarxpoz2b1.png?width=374&format=png&auto=webp&s=0b5d35f96fa6a4b2bb5eb62d2bcaf5fc9e34481d Consider the venue - The selection of your wedding attire depends a lot on the venue. If it is a typical outdoor wedding event at a sandy beach, casual attire will work best. And if the ceremony is being hosted on a rooftop or patio at a seaside location, you may look for semi-formal or formal wedding wear, such as a dress, dressy romper, or jumpsuit. Prints are fine, but not ones that are too obnoxious. Pair your outfit with wedge heels or chunky sandals for semi-formal attire.
Keep the attire casual When dressing up for beach weddings, casual attire looks more tasteful and gets you more attention. Choosing casual attires over traditional ones will be more comfortable and stylish. And if the day is too hot, a printed shirt for men and a light-coloured suit for girls can set the tone for the event, making everyone notice them. Since it will keep you cool in the sun, you will enjoy every moment at the wedding. https://preview.redd.it/wpsqcg2soz2b1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=66f1978a1df3c1e7ecaa2347ade8b2311d76edd4 Select fabrics and colours Avoid wearing heavy knits and dull colours, as beach weddings require you to pick bright, vibrant colours. As for fabrics, look for lightweight, breathable ones that will blow in the breeze. Anything that makes you feel comfy is appropriate to perfect your beach wedding looks. Chiffon, organza, and natural fibres are a few options for women looking for beach wedding attire. Match the accessories appropriately Have more fun with accessories. If you wear muted colours for your dress, jewellery and accessories should be vibrant in colours. This combination can add a celebratory vibe to your looks, making you perfectly dressed up for the beach wedding. A belt and a watch are preferable for such events. On a sunny day, men can also wear sunglasses to add refinement to their styles and avoid looking too formal. Avoid them if it is a formal setting. Women should pick a statement piece of jewellery or a fun clutch to add a pop of colour to their looks. Jewellery and accessories should fall in line with the formality and the theme of the event. Give your look the final touch with the right pair of footwear You should pay equal attention to footwear when dressing for a beach wedding. A few options you may go for include sandals, wedges, flats, and heels. Choose a fabulous pair of footwear, depending on the wedding venue. For example, at an outdoor sandy beach, you had better wear flat sandals or have fun barefoot. On a platform or at an indoor wedding ceremony, you may wear strappy sandals in whatever heel height. In conclusion The key to dressing for a beach wedding is to look for something that feels more casual yet stylish than traditional. A few options include printed shirts, suits, dresses, and frocks. Since you want to feel comfy throughout the event, the fabric should be lightweight and breathable. While the colour should be bright instead of dull or dark, the selection of footwear depends on the venue. As for accessories, beach weddings are where you can pull out your sunglasses and watches. You may explore the Shoppers Stop wedding wear collection to perfect your beach wedding look. submitted by Mental_Candy_2785 to u/Mental_Candy_2785 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 12:44 alexprobst The Call of Duty Multiverse (P1: The Numbers Mason! )
2023.05.30 12:40 ooomastrology1 Best Exercises to Predict my Future Love Life
| Life predictions by date of birth Predicting oneās future love life solely based on exercises is not scientifically supported. Love life is influenced by various factors, including personal choices, compatibility, communication, and chance encounters. An old astrological practise called ā love life prediction by date of birthā examines the specifics of your birth to examine the planetary positions and their effects on your love life. Astrologers can offer insightful predictions about your love life, including prospective opportunities. love life prediction by date of birth free An ancient astrological practice that utilizes your birth details to analyze the planetary positions and their influences on your love life. By love life prediction by date of birth free understanding the unique combinations and alignments of the celestial bodies at the time of your birth, astrologers can provide personalized predictions about your romantic prospects. With the availability of online platforms, you can now access free love life predictions by simply entering your birth details. These platforms use advanced algorithms and astrological calculations to generate accurate predictions based on your date of birth. What Is Love Life Prediction by Name and How to Use It ? The love life prediction by name is based on the belief that every name carries its own unique vibrations that can influence various aspects of your life, including love and relationships. By understanding the numerological significance of your name, astrologers can offer personalized predictions about your love life you can visit facebook pages for any more update information on astrology related. To receive predict my love life by name, all you need to do is provide your full name to an experienced astrologer or use online platforms that offer name-based predictions. Using the principles of numerology and astrology, these experts can assess the compatibility between your nameās vibrations and the vibrations associated with love and relationships. Predict My Future Love Life Predict my future love life refers to the desire to gain insights or information about oneās romantic future. Many individuals are curious about their future love life, including aspects such as finding a compatible partner, experiencing true love, and the overall trajectory of their romantic relationships. The practice based on the belief that the positions of celestial bodies at the time of birth can provide insights into an individualās romantic life. love life prediction by date of birth free in hindi Online platforms and horoscope websites may offer free love life predictions based on date of birth.However, itās important to note that predicting specific events or outcomes in oneās love life with complete accuracy is not guaranteed. Marriage Prediction by Date of Birth Marriage is a significant milestone in oneās life, and many individuals are curious about their future life partner and marital bliss. Through the fascinating realm of astrology, you can gain insights into your marriage prediction by date of birth. Astrology believes that the positions of celestial bodies at the time of your birth can reveal valuable information about your love life and marital journey. There are numerous online platforms that offer free marriage prediction by date of birth. By simply providing your birth details, you can receive personalized marriage predictions that offer guidance and valuable information about your future union. However, itās important to remember that these predictions are not set in stone and should be viewed as a tool for self-reflection rather than absolute certainty. submitted by ooomastrology1 to u/ooomastrology1 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 12:40 highbornkilla So what's the current strategy for capitulating the US early? (Before 1939)
I'm talking about the most up to date strategy that takes all of the recent changes and updates into consideration. Because nothing I do seems to be working.
In my first, second and third try, I rushed the Hawaiian port Honolulu in 1937 and naval invaded Mexico.
The terrain and supply was so terrible that my marines got encircled at the port and completely destroyed all three times
Mind you at this time and on my fourth try I was using an army that is more than sufficient to conquer China
Which is
18 ~ 9/1 Infantry divisions with support artillery and a engineer company
48 ~ 6/0 fodder Infantry divisions with no support companies
24 ~ 6/0 calvary divisions with no support companies
2 ~ 12/0 motorized divisions with support artillery, motorized recon and an engineer company
4 ~ 7/0 Marine divisions with support artillery and an engineer company
I'm always told that the US has next to no divisions and is very weak during 1937 yet my units couldn't set a foothold. I chalked it up to it being bad terrain and supply. So on my fourth try I aimed for the US mainland itself.
I did this by justifying on Panama (Only takes 10 days) after storming Honolulu and asking El Salvador for docking rights (Which they always grant.)
Getting naval supremacy to get to Panama is always a tricky gamble and the incessant convoy raiding by the US is very annoying but I managed that by blocking sea access all around Japan whenever I'm not using my convoys to move troops around. Since my entire fleet is busy keeping naval supremacy.
Landing in the US was easy and I'm even able to take most of Texas with my calvary and hold it. And oddly enough I don't really have any supply issues at all dispite my convoys being locked to the ports
The first issue tho is that getting here took me from mid 1937 to around February-ish of 1938 so I'm quickly running out of time already and I just got here.
I land a second naval invasion near Florida and reinforce it with a mix 9/1 Infantry, motorized and fodder divisions. I put them on aggressive and battle planned them to push north HARD
I needed to cap the US fast at this point because I need to cap Mexico right after without England getting involved.
Not to mention China kept annoying me with their stupid sabotage events.
I got pretty far north. And even executed several encirclements.
But fuck issues started to come up. I made it to Washington and tried desperately to take that tile and get the momentum to also take Philadelphia and New York. But despite dedicating 4 ~ 9/1's and 2 motorized divisions to the attack with the addition of a force attack. I was still stopped at Washington without any chance of surpassing it.
And because of desperate my rush to Washington my eastern coast front line was a complete disaster. And my western one was even worse.
More than have of my calvary divisions were obliterated. Wiped out. I still had a handful of calvary divisions along with some fodder units left but not nearly enough to cover the western front line.
At this point it was 1939 and Germany had just declared on Poland. So this attempt was another failure.
On my fifth try I wanted to avoid the disaster that happened so I decided a radical overhaul to my army was needed. Even if it took me a bit longer to invade the US.
By march in 1938 this is what I had
24 ~ 10/2 Infantry divisions with support artillery and a engineer company
24 ~ 10/0 calvary divisions with support artillery and a engineer company
24 ~ 6/0 Fodder Infantry divisions with a engineer company.
I swear to God what happened next was some bullshit that I should've seen coming.
Despite how fast I made it to Honolulu. By the time I took Panama and invaded the US mainland it was already 1939.
Not to mention the constant convoy raiding by the US and China's incessant poking and prodding at me to get me to go to war with them with these stupid pop up events was Really Fucking Annoying.
Due to my strengthen divisions I had some success in the US. But it was limited because the US also had time to beef up. It was so limited in fact that I call off the entire attempt as a failure because there was no way I was gonna cap the US And Mexico before WW2 started. Not at the pace it was going.
Right now I'm on my sixth attempt and I'm going non historical. At this point just I'm hoping that a opportunity presents itself to me. That's the entirety of my plan rn. Lmfao
Please guys I need some help, tips or advice if you have any. Thanks
submitted by
highbornkilla to
hoi4 [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:39 Fit-Comfortable-6031 Easy way to track Samsung phone location? Can I track a Samsung phone that is powered off? Can I track a Samsung phone with another Samsung phone?
When you need to know where someone is right now, tracking their location should be your top priority. There are a variety of reasons why you might want to locate someone. For their protection and your own sanity, you may want to keep an eye on your kids and loved one Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location?
You might have a bizarre purpose for following someoneās phone location. Whatever your motive for wanting to track someoneās position, you now have various possibilities. There are also numerous tools available that allow you to track a personās position via their cell phone. In this article, we will discuss simple ways to track a Samsung Phone Location?
Did you know that Samsung is the world leader in digital technology, especially in terms of mobile phone sales in 2021? In the first two quarters, the business sold around
112.5 million units to end-users Itās no surprise, then, that your
kids and loved one use their Samsung phones to socialize at all hours of the day and night.
- Why and How to Track Your Childās Samsung Phone
- Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location?
- Track a Samsung Phone Location
- Track a Samsung Phone Location
- Samsungās Find My Phone
- Androidās Find My Device
Mobile technologies have brought convenience to peopleās lives, but they have also become a source of considerable danger. Cyberbullying, hidden death squads, perilous challenges, and online predators are all issues that thousands of
kids and loved one face on a regular basis.
Why and How to Track Your Childās Samsung Phone
As previously said,
kids and loved one can get into mischief even if they are in the room next door to you. Online predators utilize Tinder, Snapchat, Kik, and other apps to befriend young people because they enjoy spending time on social media and adding new friends to their accounts.
In most circumstances, maniacs donāt even need to pretend to be teenagers because
kids and loved one are happy to engage with people of various ages.
Furthermore, if a new āfriendā request it, they can sext strangers and share private content. When predators reveal their genuine identities and begin pushing
kids and loved one to send more sexual images and videos, the pleasure comes to an end. Predators might pressure adolescents to meet up in person, so the online explosion frequently turns physical.
As a parent, you must be aware of what is going on in your
kids and loved one life, both in the real world and online. If your
kids and loved one is depressed but refuses to tell you about it, itās a sign that theyāre being bullied. Pressuring a
kid and loved one to answer your inquiries can exacerbate the situation. As a result, youāll need to use a different method to discover the truth, such as monitoring your
kids and loved one online activity and tracing their locations.
Track a Samsung Phone Location Using
NERDHACK SPY You now know how to trace the position of your Samsung phone using
NERDHACK. However, all techniques necessitate knowledge of your
kids and loved one account details. That isnāt always possible, especially if your
kids and loved one is the secretive type.
If you use a parental control app like
NERDHACK SPY. Though, you wonāt have to worry about accessing your
kids and loved one personal account. With
NERDHACK SPY, you can track your
kids and loved one phone from your smartphone and establish geofencing if youāre worried about them going to locations they shouldnāt.
Contact us at [
[email protected]](mailto:
[email protected]) for technical problems about your task or issue regarding hacking services.
You can receive access to a variety of valuable monitoring capabilities depending on your
NERDHACK SPY, including:
- Keeping track of incoming and outgoing calls
- Receiving, sending, and deleting text messages
- Snapchat, Facebook, Tinder, Kik, and other apps are being watched.
- Examining media files that have been delivered and received
- Viewing bookmarks and surfing history
- Seeing events and making notes on a calendar
If you have any questions regarding installing or utilizing
NERDHACK SPY, please mail us on [
[email protected]](mailto:
[email protected])
Track a Samsung Phone Location Using
NERDHACK SPY Is there a faster way to locate your
kids and loved one phone and learn where he is? There is, fortunately, so you might want to try
NERDHACK SPY. Itās a useful application that allows you to track your
kids and loved one location in just a few steps. What makes this one unique is that it will just take you two minutes!
Because this service works with all mobile network carriers,
NERDHACK SPY is a phone tracker by number capable of tracking any phoneās position by its number.
Are you looking for a more feature-rich option to remotely track a Samsung Phone? Then you should consider using a parental control app like
NERDHACK SPY to feel even safer
Samsungās Find My Phone
If your
kids and loved one possesses a Samsung and you need to locate them, you can use a Samsung-specific service. In the event that a phone is stolen,
NERDHACK can help find it and secure the data on it. Furthermore, you can utilize the service to remotely unlock the phone.
Make sure the data backup feature on the target Samsung device is turned on before utilizing the service. If youāre not sure if your
kids and loved one has switched it on, go to Settings, Lock Screen & Security, and Find My Mobile on their phone. If necessary, sign in and enable all of the options displayed on the screen.
Find My Mobile allows you to lock and unlock your
kids and loved one cellphone remotely, erase and back up data, and retrieve calls and messages, in addition to discovering their whereabouts. The list of available interactions is determined by the Samsung phone model used by your
kids and loved one.
Androidās Find My Device
Despite the fact that the majority of smartphone users use Samsung phones that run on Android, there are times when a device operates on a different operating system. Keep in mind that the Find My Device service only works for Android handsets if you wish to trace a Samsung.
Follow these steps to begin tracking a Samsung phone using this method:
Keep in mind that the Samsung phone youāre targeting should be turned on. Otherwise, you wonāt be able to see any information about your location.
Conclusion
As you can see, there are four safe and legal ways to keep an eye on your
kids and loved one device as well as track down your Galaxy phone if it is lost or stolen. However, if you want to add a slew of useful monitoring tools to your parenting toolkit, we recommend [
[email protected]](mailto:
[email protected]) Your
kids and loved one is unlikely to notice the app because it operates in stealth mode. Even if they do, youāll know straight away and be able to reinstall it with ease.
For further information about Simple Ways to Track a Samsung Phone Location and other related hacking services, mail us on [
[email protected]](mailto:
[email protected])
submitted by
Fit-Comfortable-6031 to
u/Fit-Comfortable-6031 [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:38 suny2000 Bullet engine optimizations techniques
| A list of things I did to optimize my C++ Shoot 'em up Bullet engine: BULLETS MANAGEMENT I knew that creating and destructing a lot of objects every frame was bad, so I created a pool of bullet objects at runtime. It worked better. What was bad was the way to manage the active and free bullets in an efficient way. I was iterating on all the bullets to find an inactive object before spawning it and to update the alive bullets and so on. Not very efficient with 6000 bullets. So I wrote a bullet manager which keeps tabs on all this. I still create a pool of bullet objects but also 2 lists of bullet IDs: one of actives bullets and one of free bullets. Those IDs are references to the poolās bullet objects. If I want to spawn a new bullet, I can take the last free bullets ID and set this bullet from the pool to āactiveā. I then remove this ID from the free bullets list and add it to the active bullets ID list. This active bullets list allows me to only update the active bullets and also to maintain an ordered bullets list, which I need for rendering (more details in the next section). When a bullet is dead, I set its state to āDEADā and I erase his ID from the alive bullets vector (I know itās not the most efficient thing in the world, butā¦) and add it to the free bullets vector. Also, keeping the active bullets ordered in memory helps the CPU and avoid cache misses, which is really important. DRAWING the BULLETS and DRAW CALLS The most terrible thing I was doing was to draw individually each bullet. It was working well enough on my laptop, so what the heck? But with a lot of bullets, I began to see some performance drop. On top of this, ordering the rendering of thousands of objects was not easy with the graphic engine (Ogre) and was slowing down the game a lot. So, I wrote my own bullet renderer. For each bullet type, I create a polygons list using all the current bullets' positions and orientations and draw it with its own material. Thanks to the active bullets list Iām able to draw each bullet in the right order. So, if I have 1000 bullets of the same type, I'm only drawing one object only. At the end, I have only one draw call for each bullet type, instead of 3000 draw calls for 3000 bullets. ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT Do you have more ideas and techniques to optimize more and gain some performance? S. https://i.redd.it/fgh13xp56y2b1.gif submitted by suny2000 to IndieDev [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 12:36 BasicSith2 Journey to the Treetop
Where memories fade, love's essence ignites.
A car crash into a pine tree shatters the facade of a once seemingly blissful marriage. Jack's desperate attempts to bring down the tree with a chainsaw leave his wife, Hazel, wondering what has become of their bond. Is he still the same man she fell in love with three decades ago? As Hazel battles her fears, "Journey to the Treetop" invites readers on an emotional ride through the tumultuous landscape of a mind affected by memory loss.
CABIN ROAD is the gateway to paradise.
But why does this feel like a path to hell?
I smash into a tall pine tree that stands in the middle of the otherwise straight gravel road. I've gone around it hundreds of times before. But now, my fingers are firmly gripped on the steering wheel, disregarding all my commands. Have I become paralyzed?
A potato is wobbling on the dashboard, having obviously leaped out of the potato crates in the back seat. Jack gets out and strides to the front bumper. His lips press into a thin line as he appraises the destruction and cost of fixing it. Nothing should hold him back from swearing. But he maintains his composure, anger simmering just beneath the surface.
The memory of thirty years of marriage fills my mind. I question whether this man has drugged me. A fleeting thought that he might have crashed the car surfaces, but it seems too much of a stretch. I take a deep breath and try to clear my head.
In the rear-view mirror, Jack gets an axe from the trunk. He comes and gazes at me from my window, his eyes looking heavy and wearyālike two precious pearls inside their oyster-like shells. I straighten and open the window:
āThank goodness it wasn't worse.ā
āI'll chop it down.ā
āThatās a pretty big tree, Jack.ā
Jack blinks several times.
āI do have a chainsaw...ā
āYes.ā I wonder what stories this tree has witnessed during its lifetime. Will we see the marks of our journey on its rings? Thereās always something that gets squeezed in tighter, begging to be unraveled.
āI'll drive you to the cabin and grab the chainsaw,ā Jack says. āPrepare some coffee while I'm gone.ā
Our short passage to the cabin around the bend is like shifting through the fog of memory. I'm in the kitchen. My fingers clench around the coffee tin can and spoon. Bewilderment engulfs my brain. I spot Jack with his saw. He slips around the corner, the curve of his bottom visible through his tight work trousers. I feel anxious about the crash. Did I deliberately hit the tree?
The measuring spoon slips from my hand. It drops onto the floor along with the tin can. I clean up the mess. Could someone drive into a tree on purpose? Accidents do happen after all. It's fascinating to see him take on this role of being so chivalrous. Far away from his academic duties.
As the chainsaw outside whines, I scroll through social media on my phone. People arguing about something or other makes me tired. I pick up a copy of Science magazine from the coffee table and scan through an article titled āQuantum Communication Across Interstellar Space,ā authored by Jack. As usual, the details go right over my head. I like to amuse myself with the idea that it speaks about communicating with individuals who have passed away.
Billy's message pops up. He asks for money for a fishing trip with his buddies somewhere in Lapland. I am more than happy to support him since heās enlisting in the army soon in July. My big boy.
I tell him about the car crash, and he gives me advice about a car repair store. Jack comes back earlier than expected. He plops into his seat, sweat beading on his forehead and the smell of resin emanating from him. He seems disappointed.
I pour coffee to the brim.
āDid the saw get stuck?ā
Jack shakes his head and adds sugar to his mug.
āIt got shattered under the tree. I stumbled...ā
Silence descends slowly, like dust.
āMy helmet cracked.ā
āDo you want me to buy new parts when I go to the store?ā
āNo need.ā
āBut there's pruning and cutting to do first.ā
Jack takes a bite out of a cinnamon bun.
āI can sharpen the axe.ā
āAsk the neighbors for help, that's what they're for. You can also mow the lawn while I'm away.ā
āThe grass is already shortā it'll die off.ā
āYou don't want ticks taking over! Think about your mother's joint pain. She would roll in her grave ifāā
āCremated?ā
āYes!ā My answer is like a flyswatter, leaving no room for further discussion or quantum physics.
Jack is busy chewing on the bun. His regular coffee breaks, which have become part of his daily routine in his sixties, have honed impressive jowls.
We enjoy our coffee and stare at the lake. Calm as a mirror. I have a feeling Jack will soon suggest fishing. As I gather my things to leave, I call to him:
āDon't hurt yourself. Should I bring more buns?ā
āI was thinking of skipping the sugar and wheat...ā
I simply smile in reply.
āCan you refuel the car?ā Jack asks.
I'm already off. The door slams shut in the middle of his sentence, but Jack knows better than to expect a response.
I jump into the driver's seat and immediately notice forgotten potato baskets in the back seat, but my mind drifts away before I can do anything about it. As I pass by our old well, I remember that we need to discuss connecting the cabin to a new water source. No matter what it costs, it needs to be done. Why should I agree to be responsible for our running water anymore?
I collide with something hard. Airbags abruptly inflate around me, disorienting me as my vision blurs. Struggling to escape from the tangled mess of seatbelts and inflatable bags, it feels like I'm an old person trying to climb out of a bouncy castle.
My gaze rests on the scene before me, but my thoughts can't understand it. I have plowed into a tree stump. The tree stretches over the ditch. Nearby the chainsaw lies crushed. The cutting chain is nowhere to be found.
I get back in the car. Should I phone Jack for an urgent call? Inhaling slowly helps me stay calm. Why didnāt he mention the tree stump?
Someone taps on my window
I jump and my neck stiffens up. I reach for the window switch.
āI should have told you about...ā Jack says.
āThe stump?ā
āDidn't you see the tree on the ground?ā
āI'm sorry. I was daydreaming.ā
āGreat galaxy, Hazel! You're burning through our last savings as if money grew on trees!ā
Jack is being truly authentic with me. I stare back at him like some big-eyed exotic species from Madagascar that I can't identify in all this chaos.
Jack opens the door and starts to put the cushion back in its place. We turn on the engine, giving the accelerator a test ride.
āLet's go to a repair shop. I'm sure our insurance will cover this,ā Jack suggests. āWe can say that we had an accident with a reindeer.ā
āYou're supposed to report it to the police or game warden if you hit an animal,ā I reply.
Jack pauses for a moment. He then reverses and drives forward again, but when he looks into the rear-view mirror, he slams on the brakes.
āI have a better plan.ā
He retrieves an orange towing strap from the trunk, a burst of determination on his face. He connects the stump and the tow hook.
āGet ready. Weāre going to take a quantum leap here.ā
We buckle our seat belts with a single click as we prepare for the inevitable disaster. We had already made so many mistakes together, starting with raising our childrenāthough sometimes failing was just part of parenting.
Jack revs up the engine. A sudden lurch forward, then Jack howls in pain as the stump smashes through the rear window, clambering through the seats and lodging itself onto the gearbox, trapping Jack's hand. He veers off toward the ditch.
The Milky Way spins around us, potatoes fly in the air and suddenly, all is quiet. We find ourselves upside downāsurrounded by earthy potatoes and broken glass.
I try to break the silence:
āI just remembered: Billy's friend can repair cars at the vocational school much cheaper.ā
Jack looks so pale, his face almost white. I guess heās contemplating the next step.
Through the cracked windshield, I see the chainsaw chain lying in the ditch. How did it come to be rusting away? Maybe everything will go back to normal if we sit here and wait.
It feels almost as if we are flying in outer space, my nerves slowly calming down. But then a sudden stillness strikes that is anything but soothing.
āJack, Iām feeling a bit dizzyā¦ā
No answer.
āJack...ā
I snap open my eyes and the scene in front of me has changed drastically. Itās like Iāve been sucked into some kind of surreal void.
I hear a tapping noise on the window. An apology and then a loud thud; a huge rock has been hurled through the glass. A stench of strong aftershave ferments around me. A burly arm reaches across to release the seatbelt. An elderly man growls something crude, nothing like Jack's usual scout-like words.
My eyes close as I'm being cradled away, and visions of Jack's mathematics and symbols flicker around in my mind. Is the soul truly free when there is no force of gravity to pull us down?
I don't know who my savior is, but I can sense his worry as his face reddens. He is in military garb.
I come to as I feel my head thudding against the rubble. Instantly, I yearn to run away, contemplating that perhaps this experience is only a dream, and I'm back in the cabin chamber, tucked securely underneath a cosy blanket. A blanket that grants me the power to perform heroic acts like disappearing in a puff of smoke.
āAre you okay?ā he speaks in a familiar voice.
Fingers brush over my clothes, picking out pieces of glass. My pocket contains an odd bulgeāa potato? Suddenly, everything clicks: an aged Billy, wearing a major's rank insignia. How could he have achieved that rank so fast?
āSon, what are you doing on this tree ring?ā
Billy peers at me from across the way, accompanied by a mysterious female figure.
āWe came to check on how you're doing,ā Billy says. āDo you remember what happened?ā
I raise my head and look around. There's nobody in the driver's seat of the car.
āWhere is Jack?ā I manage.
Billy furrows his brows like a detective would when weighing evidence. An image of the classic TV show Columbo flashes through my mindāhe could lull suspects into a false sense of security before dropping the hammer of his sharp intellect on their inconsistencies. But I'm not hiding anything here. Though why are modern shows so bad? That's another mystery entirely.
āMom, what were you doing out here? The road is an absolute disaster zone, with the car smashed up in the ditch.ā
My thoughts swim haphazardly as Billy reads something from my expression, then casts his eyes towards his new girlfriend for assistance.
I try to get up but it hurts too much. Instead, I reach into my pocket and feel a sandy-sharp potato there. Maybe I can still wash it off.
āIām fine,ā I reply. āI need to get back to plowing the field... baking buns for Jack... buying a chainsaw...ā
The darkness returns and I feel my body shiver. I'm in the car, traveling down bumps I've known for quite some time. Soon, Iām settled inside the cabin's living room on the couch. The coffee maker is gurgling in the corner of the room. Billy is on a call with a doctor about how to deal with grief and coping alone; it seems someone had died while cutting down a tree last year. He gets furious and threatens to take away the keys from the person he's talking to. It might be a good idea; many people have too many keys that they don't use anyway.
My head is spinning with thoughts about Jack's absence. Where did he go?
Someone runs water over potatoes while a pot clatters on the stovetop. My temper rises as I wait for Jack's return. I won't stay here by myself without an explanation from him. I call out for Jack until there's no sound left but my coughing voice.
I crave sausage soup, and I know I must go to the store. As I try to move forward, I am wading through tar. They guide me to the coffee table. According to Jack, time runs faster the more hunched your back becomes. Let it be and let us sit here, motionless, gazing at the tips of our shoes. Surely, time has slowed down in this moment.
Billy reaches out and takes my hand. A handsome, greying gentleman. His girlfriend also places her hand on top of the pile. Her name is Ewa. A beautiful name, something familiar about her.
But did I hear her calling me mother?
In the yard, a squirrel hops with a cone in its mouth. It freezes and stares at me. I avert my gaze. My hands suddenly look wrinkled. I summon the inner strength that I've been striving to find for an eternity:
āDo we have to leave now?ā
Billy exchanges glances with Ewa and then looks outside.
āYou don't have to walk this path alone, Mother.ā
We finish our coffee without saying another word. The wind sweeps across the lake. A pair of swans take flight, and a duet of gentle honks echo across the water.
A shivering cold envelops me. Billy and Ewa take me to the car. The potatoes can wait.
The sun blazes brightly above us as we travel the cabin road; shapeless clouds dot the horizon and suddenly I sense a presenceāas if someone is waving to me.
I surrender.
I believe I will be warmly welcomed.
submitted by
BasicSith2 to
shortstory [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:36 RevolutionaryRun1597 Security screw?
2023.05.30 12:36 suny2000 Bullet engine optimizations techniques
A list of things I did to optimize my C++ Shoot 'em up Bullet engine:
BULLETS MANAGEMENT
I knew that creating and destructing a lot of objects every frame was bad, so I created a pool of bullet objects at runtime. It worked better. What was bad was the way to manage the active and free bullets in an efficient way. I was iterating on all the bullets to find an inactive object before spawning it and to update the alive bullets and so on. Not very efficient with 6000 bullets. So I wrote a bullet manager which keeps tabs on all this. I still create a pool of bullet objects but also 2 lists of bullet IDs: one of actives bullets and one of free bullets. Those IDs are references to the poolās bullet objects. If I want to spawn a new bullet, I can take the last free bullets ID and set this bullet from the pool to āactiveā. I then remove this ID from the free bullets list and add it to the active bullets ID list. This active bullets list allows me to only update the active bullets and also to maintain an ordered bullets list, which I need for rendering (more details in the next section). When a bullet is dead, I set its state to āDEADā and I erase his ID from the alive bullets vector (I know itās not the most efficient thing in the world, butā¦) and add it to the free bullets vector. Also, keeping the active bullets ordered in memory helps the CPU and avoid cache misses, which is really important.
DRAWING the BULLETS and DRAW CALLS
The most terrible thing I was doing was to draw individually each bullet. It was working well enough on my laptop, so what the heck? But with a lot of bullets, I began to see some performance drop. On top of this, ordering the rendering of thousands of objects was not easy with the graphic engine (Ogre) and was slowing down the game a lot. So, I wrote my own bullet renderer. For each bullet type, I create a polygons list using all the current bullets' positions and orientations and draw it with its own material. Thanks to the active bullets list Iām able to draw each bullet in the right order. So, if I have 1000 bullets of the same type, I'm only drawing one object only. At the end, I have only one draw call for each bullet type, instead of 3000 draw calls for 3000 bullets.
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
Do you have more ideas and techniques to optimize more and gain some performance?
S.
https://i.redd.it/lrvfy4bq7e1b1.gif submitted by
suny2000 to
gamedev [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:35 divine-catpocalypse House Sale Falling Through - Need advice
Hi all, I need your advice.
My partner and I were looking for a house, and about three months ago we went sale agreed. We got a solicitor, they seemed nice and had good reviews. They replied to emails instantly and were very polite - in the beginning.
Three months into the process, we are finding out the seller has not served the tenants the tenancy termination notice (meaning my mortgage won't go through), and my solicitor doesn't even reply to my emails. They only answer calls.
Three months in, after already dropping all other houses we were interested in, setting up the mortgage protection, paying the valuator, sale agreed deposit... Anyways, all I am trying to say, we are extremely angry and disappointed. Shouldn't she have found this out at the start of the process, as soon as we contacted her? Or is this somehow the seller's fault?
My question is - will I get the sale agreed deposit back?
What's the process now - I am guessing I still have to pay my solicitor for their "work" ?
Edit: typo
submitted by
divine-catpocalypse to
irishpersonalfinance [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:35 OneShot_Absolute Shitpost sub for Call of Duty League
submitted by OneShot_Absolute to CDLShitpost [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:35 flauschxger Workaround for Vanguard (TPM/secure boot)
Hi, I am dual booting Windows 11 and Arch Linux, I have TPM and secure boot disabled because Linux doesn't really like those settings. Now, when I get on my Windows machine and try to start up Valorant, an error pops up which tells me Vanguard needs secure boot and TPM to be enabled. Since I really can't enable those settings in my BIOS, what can I do? I didn't have this issue on Windows 10, which is weird since Windows 10 also had support for secure boot and TPM 2.0. I know Microsoft wants you to enable those settings in order to upgrade, but I figured my way around it. I also don't get why an anti cheat would ever need permission for root and settings like secure boot/TPM enabled, since there are bypasses for both of these so-called "security measures" for a long time now. TPM and secure boot do not make your PC more safe or hard to get into to, but that is a different topic.
submitted by
flauschxger to
ValorantTechSupport [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:33 AgreeableHold3551 I donāt know how to fix an issue with my close friend who is now my dorm mate. Social friendship connection issue.
Context: I wanted to replace her rug with a brand new one of the exact same cheap Walmart Rug, cause the rug still smelled like Guinea pig was a hazard to the hygiene of our dorm.
We live in separate bedrooms & have a common area where the rug is. Itās a lrg plain rug from Walmart b/c she didnāt like walking on the tile floor of her old dorm. She prior admitted to not having sentimental value to it.
For context, she used to have guinea pigs, which we found out together I was allergic to. At the time, this was not a huge issue. I just couldnāt be around them for long periods of time. The pigs did make her entire dorm smell like a petting zoo, but I loved the little buggers. I was even given the title of āGuinea Pig Auntyā. She got rid of them due to dorm policy, so I invited her to my dorm. But the rug still had the āpig smell. She moved into my dorm three weeks ago & claims she could not smell it.
I had initially stated I didnāt mind if she brought the rug over, but that was before I realized it couldnāt be saved with products a college student would reasonably have (I did try tho). + itās cheaper to replace than it would have been to try to deep clean.
I will admit my fault. I did not communicate to her prior to the event, & inadvertently put her on the spot, my bad. I will not make an excuse for it. If it had been anything other than a new, but nasty-smelly-ruined rug that was in our common area, affecting the quality of life for the dorm, I would have never made such a fast course of action.
I called & asked if it would be okay if I replaced the rug with its exact replica to get rid of the smell. She said she guessed it would be fine. I wanted to call her before doing anything that I couldnāt reverse. I did, however, roll up the rug( and start to leave the dorm with it) before calling, so that if she said itās fine, I could get it out ASAP & clean the floor where it had been. If she said no, I would simply put the rug back & stay at my parents house until she got back, to avoid the smell.
I then took the rug to the trash. When I got back to clean, she called & changed her mind. She wanted to wait until she got back. I explained that it was too late. She got mad that I had touched it before calling, said that wasnāt okay for me to do, based on the principle that it was hers (itās the principle of the matter, even tho she had no personal attachment to the rug).
My mindset initially was āI love my friend & I am so happy she moved in with me; but this rug canāt be saved. I will replace it for her so she doesnāt have to lose money on a rug she just bought & so our dorm will have better hygiene & not smell awful.ā Win-win for both of us, I thought, especially b/c she had mentioned many times before moving in that she loves that we will be roomies b/c we can keep the dorm clean together. Her previous roomie was nasty.
After I bought the rug, ~1hr, maybe less, later she said that she would prefer a personal rug instead, and wants me to take the other rug back. That feels unfair to me b/c I asked to replace the rug in our common area for the betterment of our dorm, not her private room, which she currently has a different rug in.
I caved cause I wanted to be a āgood friendā and I just wanted everything to go back to before she got upset. So I said that since I already have the rug, I could return this one, but we need the living room rug, so Iād get her a personal rug too. But itās been a couple days, and now I feel like if I do that, I am setting a precedent for myself and for her that I will go over the top to make something ārightā.
I donāt know how to talk to her about this now. I decided I will set up the main rug in the morning probably⦠we need the rug. That other one just absolutely had to go, and so when she said I could do it, I did it too fast I guess.
However, whenever I try to think about how to make it better now, all that pops in my head is rudely put thoughts, very direct thoughts with an attitude behind them, which I hate. I donāt want to be mean to my friend by any means, and Iām scared that I might lose her forever over something this small, just because my brain( social anxiety and attachment issues) wonāt stop trying to trick me into running away. I just donāt know what to say or do. I know I canāt avoid the situation all together. Her love language is gift giving. I thought about giving her something she really loves, but also, then I worry that she might think Iām just trying to buy our friendship, which isnāt right.
Does anyone have advice? Sorry for the long text. I donāt know how to summarize properly. Thank you to anyone who responds. I hope yāall have a good day.
submitted by
AgreeableHold3551 to
helpme [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:32 Carr0t Seeking opinions on on-call alerting (SMS, phone call) SaaS products
I've been tasked with investigating the options for on-call alerting software for my company.
We already use incident.io to manage any incidents themselves, and track metrics and trigger alerts with DataDog, both of which are integrated into our Slack workspace to send messages to a custom channel. But neither currently support sending out either SMS or phone call alerts to an on-call engineer (and we can't wait to see if they are building it). If everything else was A+ I would accept app/push notifications, but using the mobile phone network is first choice.
The reason I bring up those existing systems is because a lot of tools out there (PagerDuty, BetterUptime etc) cover a lot of the same bases
as well as the on-call alerting, so we'd be paying a fair chunk of change for features we have no intention of using. I saw a recent blog post about
PagerDuty alternatives, but from my reading many of the listed products are covering the incident management portion (like incident.io), but missing the actual alerting via SMS or phone call (out of hours, when we can't expect engineers to be paying attention to the work Slack).
This needs to be a SaaS solution, because we want to be able to alert in the case that our entire platform on which all our own stuff is hosted is having issues. Given that we're entirely in AWS currently it also shouldn't go down if AWS has issues.
What products are other people using? Would you particularly recommend or warn against using it, or is it just 'good enough'? Is there anything out there that really focuses on the callout schedule and actually calling people out, rather than all the rest of the management and tooling
around that?
submitted by
Carr0t to
sysadmin [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:30 AgreeableHold3551 I donāt know how to fix an issue with my close friend who is now my dormmate
Context: I wanted to replace her rug with a brand new one of the exact same cheap Walmart Rug, cause the rug still smelled like Guinea pig was a hazard to the hygiene of our dorm.
We live in separate bedrooms & have a common area where the rug is. Itās a lrg plain rug from Walmart b/c she didnāt like walking on the tile floor of her old dorm. She prior admitted to not having sentimental value to it.
For context, she used to have guinea pigs, which we found out together I was allergic to. At the time, this was not a huge issue. I just couldnāt be around them for long periods of time. The pigs did make her entire dorm smell like a petting zoo, but I loved the little buggers. I was even given the title of āGuinea Pig Auntyā. She got rid of them due to dorm policy, so I invited her to my dorm. But the rug still had the āpig smell. She moved into my dorm three weeks ago & claims she could not smell it.
I had initially stated I didnāt mind if she brought the rug over, but that was before I realized it couldnāt be saved with products a college student would reasonably have (I did try tho). + itās cheaper to replace than it would have been to try to deep clean.
I will admit my fault. I did not communicate to her prior to the event, & inadvertently put her on the spot, my bad. I will not make an excuse for it. If it had been anything other than a new, but nasty-smelly-ruined rug that was in our common area, affecting the quality of life for the dorm, I would have never made such a fast course of action.
I called & asked if it would be okay if I replaced the rug with its exact replica to get rid of the smell. She said she guessed it would be fine. I wanted to call her before doing anything that I couldnāt reverse. I did, however, roll up the rug( and start to leave the dorm with it) before calling, so that if she said itās fine, I could get it out ASAP & clean the floor where it had been. If she said no, I would simply put the rug back & stay at my parents house until she got back, to avoid the smell.
I then took the rug to the trash. When I got back to clean, she called & changed her mind. She wanted to wait until she got back. I explained that it was too late. She got mad that I had touched it before calling, said that wasnāt okay for me to do, based on the principle that it was hers (itās the principle of the matter, even tho she had no personal attachment to the rug).
My mindset initially was āI love my friend & I am so happy she moved in with me; but this rug canāt be saved. I will replace it for her so she doesnāt have to lose money on a rug she just bought & so our dorm will have better hygiene & not smell awful.ā Win-win for both of us, I thought, especially b/c she had mentioned many times before moving in that she loves that we will be roomies b/c we can keep the dorm clean together. Her previous roomie was nasty.
After I bought the rug, ~1hr, maybe less, later she said that she would prefer a personal rug instead, and wants me to take the other rug back. That feels unfair to me b/c I asked to replace the rug in our common area for the betterment of our dorm, not her private room, which she currently has a different rug in.
I caved cause I wanted to be a āgood friendā and I just wanted everything to go back to before she got upset. So I said that since I already have the rug, I could return this one, but we need the living room rug, so Iād get her a personal rug too. But itās been a couple days, and now I feel like if I do that, I am setting a precedent for myself and for her that I will go over the top to make something ārightā.
I donāt know how to talk to her about this now. I decided I will set up the main rug in the morning probably⦠we need the rug. That other one just absolutely had to go, and so when she said I could do it, I did it too fast I guess.
However, whenever I try to think about how to make it better now, all that pops in my head is rudely put thoughts, very direct thoughts with an attitude behind them, which I hate. I donāt want to be mean to my friend by any means, and Iām scared that I might lose her forever over something this small, just because my brain( social anxiety and attachment issues) wonāt stop trying to trick me into running away. I just donāt know what to say or do. I know I canāt avoid the situation all together. Her love language is gift giving. I thought about giving her something she really loves, but also, then I worry that she might think Iām just trying to buy our friendship, which isnāt right.
Does anyone have advice? Sorry for the long text. I donāt know how to summarize properly. Thank you to anyone who responds. I hope yāall have a good day.
submitted by
AgreeableHold3551 to
helpmewithwords [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:28 Time-Mud3213 Iām either an empath, have crippling anxiety or depression, or maybe itās nothing.
Hello, apologies but this is going to be a really long post and basically a stream of consciousness, and I understand if no one bothers to read any of it. The main problem I (M 28) have is that I think a lot of these feelings are really intense and quite sad. I feel like I canāt talk to my friends or family about them because a lot of them are depressed or seem as though they have their own problems and I donāt want to burden people by making them worry about me. I think maybe I could benefit from therapy, but there is no way I could afford to pay for it, and on the NHS I donāt know how long the waiting list is, but I also donāt want to take away the place in the queue from someone who has experienced real trauma in their life when I have lived a relatively sheltered middle-class regular life in the UK.
Something I have been seriously struggling in my life since I was a teenager is fatigue and this is possibly linked to mental problems stemming from what I would call overthinking and floods of empathic thoughts created from the things I learn about the world around me and I consume from the media. Iām going to give an example of some of the things that run through my head, and if you want you can read a part of it to get the gist and skip the next paragraph.
I feel terrible for all the animals that are going to be wiped out by environmental changes due to climate change, and I feel sad that this loss of biological life means the next generations might never see the beauty of the species we lose. I feel sad for the loss of knowledge of how these species interacted with the environment and their genetics, the loss of insights we could have gained in medicine. I feel sad for all the animals trapped in huge battery farms living in horrific conditions, and I feel sad for all the people eating food that is contaminated, and I feel sad for the future issues that will come from this, pandemics, antibiotic resistance, monocultures destroying the environment, the pollution from agriculture, the loss of soil quality for future farmers. I feel sad that water and soil is becoming polluted with forever chemicals from industry, and I feel sad that resources are going to diminish quickly and inevitably lead to war and famine, which they have in many places already. I feel sad that people will turn to fanatical populism when conditions deteriorate and I feel sad they will likely vote and act against their own interests and turn on each other and their neighbouring countries. I feel sad that this has and will lead to increased immigration, and I feel sad that this going to lead to increased friction between people. I feel sad for LGBT and others who will be subject to increased persecution due to difference in cultural and imposed moral values of those that immigrate. I feel sad for the racism people will experience after immigrating, and the inevitable ghettoisation as people fail to become integrated and the exacerbation of extremism due to this. I feel sad for people of colour experiencing racism, real disadvantages and hurt due to effects of white supremacy and post-colonial systemic injustice that is constantly being diminished by certain media. I feel sad for people who live in these countries already who are being challenged, demonised for their xenophobia, that has been encouraged by some of their own media and made to feel small and wrong, however it can be justified, for legitimate concerns about the erosion of their own culture, but also the degeneration of their lives and the lives of people around them due to addiction epidemics and disappearance of industry and lack of support that has occurred in parallel with progressivism and globalism. I feel sad for trans people who experience violence and fear almost every day and whose lives and medical support have been subject to intense, extreme political battery. I feel sad for people who have had their previously concrete beliefs in gender challenged and demonised by certain media, however justified people think it might be, and I feel sad that often people find they hate a version of the other side that does not actually believe as extreme things as they have been lead to believe about them. I feel sad trans issues are being used to distract them from other real issues that affect them in a real way. I feel sad that womenās ability to have abortions is being attacked, the danger to their lives, peace of mind, punishment for sex and rape, and I feel sad for the children that will be born into terrible circumstances as a result. I feel sad that many of the people pushing against abortion do so because they feel that they are saving human lives by doing so, and I feel sad that people are made to feel as though that is a bad thing, however justified it might be. I feel sad that no matter what side of the spectrum people are on, for the vast majority, everything seems to be getting worse, quality of life is reducing, people are being made to hate each other along divisive issues upon which there seems to be no way to reconcile, and I feel sad that I donāt think that it ever needed to be that way, but people have become convinced that it is.
This is just an example of one thread of thoughts that runs through me. As you can see many of them do not affect me directly right now and itās like Iām feeling things for people that I donāt actually know, and feeling things for people that arenāt born yet, and feeling things for people in the future. You might read this and think, yeah, there is no way in hell this guy is thinking all this crap on a random tuesday afternoon. The thing is these thoughts are not verbalised in my brain, they are abstract feelings, and each one, I hope you can see, is connected to each other. So they thread and wind into one another and what happens is I experience this huge wave of feeling and its overwhelming, it cripples me and I feel as though I am unable to do anything, if Iām standing up I have to sit down. It makes me feel like Iām drowning, and what I typed up earlier itās like I took two hands and took a scoop and tried to distentangle and verbalise just a fragment of what I can catch. Often when I am speaking to people I end up taking long pauses to try and hear the thoughts relevant to the conversation over all the noise happening inside my head. Thankfully my friends know I am not dumb but sometimes I think it takes a long time to focus back in and conversations are becoming more difficult for me.
I guess someone might read this and think, how pathetic, this person is just feeling and thinking random shit from the news, and Iām right there with you, there is a constant undercurrent of guilt, and shame and confusion, constantly thinking why am I thinking these things about people I donāt know, why am I fictionalising and focusing on issues seperate from myself, why am I acting like everyone else isnāt also thinking about this stuff and also struggling all the time. I know other people also feel these things and they can carry on living, and they are more resilient than me, and I must be weaker mentally, or they are struggling and not showing it to me. There are also constant thoughts about things I wish I did, things I wish I had not done, so many regrets and lost opportunities and sadnesses that also wash over me.
I know it may be hard to believe but I consider myself a happy person and not functionally depressed, I look forward to things throughout the day and in the future. Every day I spend many hours painting. I try to be optimistic, in the time that I am awake I enjoy speaking to people and going out to exercise regularly for many hours a week inside and outside, and I eat healthily, with blood tests showing no deficiencies. But everyday I carry these emotional waves with me and every day is getting harder. I feel constantly burnt out, I am unable to hold a job, I feel so tired I have to sleep 12 hours a day just to feel normal. I donāt collect any government assistance because I feel guilty collecting money for basically just not having the energy to work and no other reason, though I can live off the money I save between jobs before I quit. I donāt feel like I have the energy to live anymore but I donāt want to die. I just want to go into a coma or something so I can rest without burdening my friends or family. I donāt know what the solution is but I wonder if many others feel the same and self-medicate using drugs or alcohol. I fear being put on some kind of medication that is just going to make me numb or change my personality as a solution for being me. I wonder if fearing medication altering my authentic self is just some kind of stockholm syndrome where Iāve romanticised myself and my pain but actually I am just a prisoner of my own mind unable to escape.
On the bright side, there is one time these winding and unwinding feely-thoughts have helped me in life. Once in a job I had the opportunity to manage people. I was thinking things like, well this person recently immigrated to the UK, I will schedule longer meetings with them and a higher proportion of time spent discussing personal things so that they can build confidence in their english and have someone they can comfortably talk to if they have issues and I adapt my own language so they can understand me better. I feel like I understand what their long term goals are in their careers, so I try to proportion the work given to them so they always feel like they are progressing, even if not everything is directly relevant to their goals. I take unconscious notes on response times, active times, energy levels in meetings to understand the best times to work with them, how long to schedule things, whether to cancel things, and understand when they might be struggling and too shy or embarrassed to reach out. I feel like I understand when people struggle with concepts or get stuck, so I take proactive steps to help, I am patient and understanding and make myself available to ensure people get the help they need without fear. I make unconscious notes about peopleās skill sets, problems, schedules, and network people when I think they might be able to help each other when they otherwise would not have communicated at all. When I explained these are some of the things I considered when I manage people, I got promoted. Though reading this back it just seems like.. stuff youād read in a how to manage 101 book that I never read.
I guess this is where the idea I might be an empath comes from, because itās like when I see someone or am around people, or read about someone, I start to feel things strongly, and mainly the negative things, and I understand it might not be what they are actually feeling, its all inferred, but its inferred so strongly. I am always crying during movies, yes, even animated ones. The thing is, say someone dies in a movie, I know it isnāt real, but I am sad because I think, someone wrote this, they put a part of themselves in it, their own fear of death, their own experience of death, loss, grief, I relate it to my own experiences of grief too, and someone somewhere died or will die so that the person in this movie could die, and I am feeling this wave of emotion from that, the fiction becomes real I guess. Again, Iām aware this just sounds⦠dramatic. Maybe this is just how everyone experiences things and I am just verbalising and putting into words how everybody feels. This is why Iām posting anonymously, Iām ashamed I might just be describing being a normal human being, and that itās too much for me and I think that there is something exceptional or wrong about me, when Iām just a normal person experiencing normal human things. I donāt understand how everybody else is going about their day, 9-5, when just existing day to day is overwhelming for me. I know people are struggling too, people with much worse problems than me, people with complex interpersonal issues, shit life circumstances, homelessness, people with chronic health conditions. Am I just lazy, weak? Is it silly of me to be calling myself an empath or saying I have anxiety or depression when I am just experiencing normal emotion and I am just trying to come up with an excuse to make myself feel special or for my own laziness.
I think thatās everything to get off my chest. I realise probably nobody has or will read all of this, but it was cathartic to write out. If someone does read it I would appreciate you letting me know your thoughts, any kind of diagnosis. Thank you.
submitted by
Time-Mud3213 to
offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:26 Expensive_Split_9155 What if Star Wars had a horror movie? ChatGPT
Title: "Shadows of the Sith"
Plot:
Set in the vast and mysterious Star Wars universe, "Shadows of the Sith" takes place a few years after the events of "Return of the Jedi." The galaxy is slowly recovering from the fall of the Empire, but a hidden menace lurks in the darkest corners of the galaxy.
The story follows a group of Rebel Alliance operatives, led by seasoned Jedi Knight, Mira Starrunner, and her apprentice, Kaelin Veran. The Rebel Alliance receives a distress signal from an isolated and uncharted planet, Endurin. The distress signal is a distress call from a group of Rebel scouts who were sent to investigate rumors of an ancient Sith temple on the planet.
Mira, sensing a disturbance in the Force, decides to investigate the distress call and takes Kaelin, along with a small team of specialists, including a skilled pilot, a tech expert, and a survivalist, to Endurin. Upon arriving, they find a desolate, hauntingly beautiful landscape shrouded in an eerie mist.
As they make their way through the treacherous terrain, the team encounters strange occurrences, such as disturbing whispers and ghostly apparitions. They soon realize that the planet itself is steeped in the dark side of the Force, corrupted by the ancient Sith presence. It becomes apparent that the Sith temple holds a powerful artifact capable of summoning and binding spirits of fallen Sith Lords.
One by one, the team members are haunted by their own fears and personal demons, as the spirits of the Sith Lords manipulate and torment them. The once cohesive group starts to fracture under the pressure of the Sith's psychological attacks, and paranoia begins to consume them.
Mira, guided by her Jedi training, must confront her own fears and insecurities while trying to protect her team and prevent the Sith spirits from escaping the planet. As the haunting intensifies, the team must navigate through treacherous traps, face their darkest nightmares, and confront the vengeful spirits of the Sith Lords.
Throughout the harrowing journey, the characters' loyalties are tested, and alliances are formed and broken. They must overcome their individual fears and find strength within themselves to resist the temptations of the dark side and unite against the ancient evil that threatens to consume them.
Ultimately, Mira and her team must find a way to destroy the Sith artifact, break the hold of the Sith spirits, and escape the planet before they succumb to the horrors of the dark side. "Shadows of the Sith" explores the depths of fear, redemption, and the resilience of the light side of the Force in the face of overwhelming darkness.
submitted by
Expensive_Split_9155 to
u/Expensive_Split_9155 [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:21 ComradeColorado How accurate is this?
2023.05.30 12:17 neoxiana 26 [F4R] Singapore/Anywhere- Reliant on magnesium today.
In the middle of audit at work and it had me overwhelmed and overstimulated all day. I canāt wait to just have a nice dinner, nice shower and be on my cozy bed.
I am looking for a semi to very present online friend.
About me: I like books, a lot. I like being indoors a lot but Iām unsure if itās because I canāt stand the heat & humidity in this tropical country or if itās just because I just love the quiet at home.
I read, play the playstation sometimes, write and get all philosophical in my head during my free time.
I love bonding over books. Gaming too but thatās just dramatically decreased now that Iām older. Long gone are the call of duty late nights with the squad.
I travel to see my family thatās scattered all over the world, it can make holidays feels non-holiday ish at times. This usually includes the Philippines & Italy. Apart from that, Iām also too guilty to use up my free weeks not being able to see my family.
My brain is tired today but Iād love to get connected anyways!
:-)
Edit: I dislike fantasy & romance books BTW, but I also just finished Fire & Blood because I have no patience waiting for House of The Dragon S2 (will still watch and get angry a lot though)
2nd edit: Please include an introduction.
submitted by
neoxiana to
r4r [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 12:16 Otarih Everyone disappeared
I just found this messed up mail in my postbox, and I haven't slept at all since I read it. The stuff written in there is so confusing and honestly, pretty damn scary. I thought maybe you guys could help me figure out what the hell is going on. I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post it, but I gotta do something, right? I'm seriously considering whether I should contact the police over this.
So anyway, here's the deal: I got this mail from a guy I barely even know. Sure, we've played some Call of Duty together occasionally, but he's more of an acquaintance than a friend. He's known among my circle, but honestly, no one is really close to him. He's kinda... odd. Like, I think he's maybe on the spectrum or something - autistic or schizoid, I'm not sure. He's just uncomfortable to be around, y'know? Doesn't talk much, keeps to himself a lot. That's why I was so surprised to find this mail from him. Anyway, I'll attach the mail below. Let me know what you guys think.
---
- Everyone disappeared. It's been days since I've seen anyone. A few days ago, I woke up and it was like everyone had just... poof... gone. I live downtown and there was no one on the streets. Not a car, not a dog, nothing. It was like a ghost town. I was just trying to hit up the grocery store, but when I got there, it was totally empty. My first thought was - sweet, free food. But when I tried to get in, it was like there was an invisible wall or something. Freaked me out big time. Sent me into a panic.
So, I bolted back home, popped some antipsychotics to chill out. Had a little drink, smoked some weed - just the usual. Then I thought I'd get lost in some Call of Duty. The game was working fine, even the multiplayer. But there was no chat, no voices. Just weird mumbling and some freaky symbols instead of words. It was as if every single person had just vanished, and language had gone MIA too.
- So yeah, here I am, surviving in my own little bubble. Nothing's really changed, I guess. I still can't bring myself to raid the grocery store, but I've got some random junk food and sodas in the house to keep me going. No idea how long that's gonna last though. I'm just trying to get by, playing video games. It's freakin' weird that the world's still turning without people.
And now, I'm starting to remember. You're not here, but I know we did something that night. We were in this together, you and me. I can't remember it all, not clearly, because of all the crap I was on. But now, when I think about that resistance, I remember that it was always there. Before humanity vanished, you were there. You tried to help me. But now you're gone. Where are you? Come back. You have to come back.
- Now I remember. I remember your name. Levy. It's the name I gave you, Levy. And the memories are flooding back. I was on the dark web, a few months ago I think, and I found this website. It was chock-full of so-called 'forbidden knowledge' and your typical conspiracy theory garbage. Stuff about the FBI or CIA covering up about aliens, the US government using mind control, all that crap. I thought it was just a bunch of nonsense, but then I saw this one ritual. It promised to grant any wish.
I mean, I was pretty messed up, so I thought, why not? It's gotta be better than therapy. I'd dropped out of therapy, it just wasn't doing it for me. It was adding more resistance to my life and I didn't want that. So, I figured I'd give this ritual a shot. It was about creating a tulpa, which is supposed to be like a copy of yourself from another dimension or something. I didn't really get it, it was all so much mumbo jumbo, but the gist was that you could summon these tulpas by believing in them, and through some quantum particle whatever, it would open a rift to another dimension.
I don't know how it worked, but I followed the steps. It was all really weird stuff, like buying certain items from various stores, and then standing in front of a mirror in your bathroom at 3 a.m. You had to light a candle, turn off all the lights and all the electronics in the house, and then say some incantations while visualizing the tulpa.
And it worked. I saw it crawl out of the mirror. The mirror shattered, and it was bleeding from its eyes. It was you, a monster from another dimension, a Lovecraftian horror, a leviathan. You were my creation, and I named you Levy.
Since then, we've been together. And eventually, you granted my wish. But now you're gone. You fulfilled my wish, but that made you disappear. And now I'm alone. I'm alone. What do I do now?
- I tried to go outside again but it's impossible. I can't get past this resistance that's everywhere. It's like I'm being watched by a billion invisible eyes, like there's some invisible hand holding me back. It's always the invisible. It's this resistance I can't overcome. I can't leave the house.
Everywhere I look there's resistance. I even stopped playing video games, I can see the resistance in the chats, I hear it in the voice calls. Even though it's just mumbling, it's nonsense, it's still language. Even though it's obfuscated, it's there. Just the fact that it's there... the resistance is there. I can't fucking stand it.
I've been taking antipsychotics and other stuff, I'm trying to escape, but I don't think I can take this for much longer.
- Now that everyone's gone, can I even call myself human? When I go outside, I walk around like something that could never have been known as human, a thing whose shape is so alien that humanity seems more obscene because of the vague resemblance.
I'm nothing. I'm not human anymore. I've always wanted to leave society but what is a society but an individual? What am I? I am nothing. The eyes are all dead but at the same time they're still there. Levy, you granted my wish. I wanted nothing more than to erase humanity, and you gave that to me. But I also left humanity behind because I just couldn't stand it anymore. The panic, the fear, the judgment, the pain, the betrayal... It was too much. I had to leave it all behind. But I'm wondering, did I actually leave anything behind?
- Now I'm going to keep writing this manifesto just to piss people off. To tell a kind of truth that I think is valid. It will make me feel more and more like a writer, an important writer. And I really think I am one. I mean it. I don't doubt it for a second. Damn it, stop laughing at me, stop judging me, stop all this resistance.
- Today, I had an encounter. I went outside again. I wanted to go grocery shopping, but the panic fucking stopped me. I bolted outside, and on my way back home in an alleyway, I ran into another one of those resistances. This time, though, I had brought my knife with me. I fought it off, I stabbed it once, and the knife actually sunk into the invisible barrier. I stabbed it twice, thrice... I stabbed it over and over and over again. I lost count. Even when the resistance fell to the floor, I knelt down and kept stabbing. I killed the resistance, erased the resistance, cleansed the resistance. Then, I ran home. My knife was full of blood, my hands were covered in it. I didn't even think that the resistance could bleed. How could something invisible bleed? But for a moment, I felt... finally quiet. Finally, finally, finally. Salvation.
- Hate, let me tell you how much I've come to hate humanity since I was a kid. There are 86 billion neurons in my head, connected by myriads of synapses in the human brain that fill my cranium. If the word HATE was engraved on each nanometer of those billions of neurons, it would not equal one one billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you, hate. Hate.
- I am a great writer. Levy, what do you think? How do you like my writing? Isn't it poetic? I'm so poetic. I'm so smart and original, right? Am I? Am I? Am I? But humans couldn't possibly understand that. I am, I am an advanced creature. I have seen the truth, and the others, they're just fucking idiotic, aren't they? Aren't they, Levy? We're the only ones who know the truth, we're the only ones who know.
And now, now I'm so glad, you know. I'm so glad I bought those weapons. I bought even more weapons, even fully automatic weapons off the dark web. And I even have the materials to build bombs, and I know how to do it, and I will do it.
- You know what, Levy? I have figured it out. I have figured out the correct path we should take. We should end this resistance once and for all. Hate. Hate. We have to cleanse the resistance, we have to cleanse it.
I am going to end it all. Cleanse the world of the resistance. I am preparing, and tomorrow, I will start with the grand cleansing. To bring the world back into its natural state. We will do this together, Levy. Once more, you will come out of the mirror, and then we will work together to end the resistance.
---
Okay, so that's the entire thing. Obviously, this guy is having some sort of psychotic break. I have no idea what the heck is going on. Obviously, there wasn't some large-scale disappearance unless I missed something? I don't know, he seems very disturbed. And what's that stuff about weapons and such? I genuinely feel very concerned. Should I call the police or, you know, what should I do? Anyway, thanks for any responses, guys. Take care.
submitted by
Otarih to
nosleep [link] [comments]