So there seems to be a bit of conflicting reports on the status of Fast Food as a planned map.
Originally gruntr said:
"We will probably add Fast Food back post 1.0, because we actually didn't really have a place for it in the level threads -- always felt a bit outside the scope I guess. But it'll come back: just later on."
Source: https://www.reddit.com/ReadyOrNotGame/comments/z7ovdt/comment/iy7km4o/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
But later on Ali stated in the after party ama that Fast Food is planned to be a launch map and not a post launch map.
Source, timestamp included: https://youtu.be/e01ujOTsNEU?t=2412
​
I was just wondering what the current official status of the map is? If the team originally planned to make it post launch but eventually changed their mind, or if Ali was just not aware of gruntr's decision at that time?

I currently have an HP Omen 870-280. It currently has a Nvidia GeForce GTX 1070 in it and I upgraded to 32gb of RAM and a 750w Power Supply. I want to upgrade the GPU but I don’t know what to upgrade to? The case is the basic Omen case it came in. I’ve added a link to the computer itself, wondering if anyone has upgraded this before or has any info that would help?
https://support.hp.com/in-en/document/c05379734

i’m not really sure how to word this, but
out of curiosity, is it common to find microscopic evidence of inflammation when, during a colonoscopy, the colon/ileum looked okay? i’ve read a little bit about how crohns causes structural changes to the cells and was wondering also if that’s the case if someone appears to be in endoscopic remission/has a normal appearing colon. interested in any thoughts to do with these!

Up until now, I’ve only done one-shots on this sub. This, however, is the beginning chapter of a long space-opera sci-fi writing project I have been working on for several months now, an expansion of sorts of a one-shot story I posted in reply to a prompt from WritingPrompts.
I’m currently almost 60k words into it at the time of writing, and am planning on publishing it in full as a novel when I’m done, but I haven’t really shared it with anyone outside my immediate family, a couple friends, and the good people of HumansAreSpaceOrcs.
I don’t know how often I’ll be uploading these, especially given that I’m still not done with it, and have little free time to spend on writing these days; all the same, you can expect plenty of entries over the next few weeks.
And while yeah, the title doesn’t make much sense for the moment, trust me, it will. …Eventually. …After several chapters. Nervous smile
Anyway, free to leave your thoughts, any constructive criticisms, etc in the comments. And as always, I hope you enjoy :)
——

CHAPTER 1

Her arm hurt.
She was so, so tired...
Her arm hurt.
She was numb to the cold at this point, but kept shivering anyway.
Her arm hurt.
The only thing close to heat that she felt was the inflammation that was serving to add more throbbing pain to her arm.
…Which hurt, in case that wasn’t clear.
She turned her head to look at it, wincing from the pain the movement caused. It was ugly to behold, with a ragged stab wound in the muscles of her forearm near the elbow that was still slowly trickling blood, but that wasn’t even the worst part of it. She knew from experience that the needle-sharp pain she felt with every slight movement meant that some bone in there- probably the radius or ulna- was also either hairline-fractured or broken entirely.
…And just in case you weren’t aware, fun fact:
It hurt.
A lot.
The pain was only exacerbated by the swollen tissues and irritation around the stab wound that she knew meant it was definitely infected- with what, she could only guess. Whatever it was, she could feel the fever it was causing having a desperate tug-of-war with the cold autumn air to determine her body temperature.
When she couldn’t stand to look at it any longer, she leaned her head back, resting it against the dew-filled grass of the ditch she was lying in and looking up at the star-filled night sky that was slowly lightening to that hue of dark indigo that meant dawn was close, but not quite there.
She used to think the stars were beautiful. But as she lay there, the dreadful memories of what had led to this moment playing over and over in her head… Suffice to say, nothing in this world or outside of it seemed beautiful anymore.
She put the aesthetics of the sky aside and instead struggled to focus her thoughts through the haze of fatigue and pain.
Dawn approaching… That has to mean I’ve been laying here… Jeez, it must be almost an entire day at this point. …I think. It hasn’t been multiple days, surely… Or maybe it’s been-
…Oh, to hell with it. I don’t even care at this point…
She was too tired to sleep, but in too much pain to move. Her brain was fogged from fatigue, and even more so from the constant screaming coming from her nerve endings, desperately trying to let her know that yes, something was very wrong with her arm, she got it, thanks for the message, you can stop now-
…But mostly, the fog stemmed from that draining emotional and mental exhaustion that came with periods of grief. A single tear ran down her face from her already overworked tear ducts, nearly reaching the bruises on her neck before it was wiped away by the shaky fingers of her good arm.
The sky would be there for her to look at later. She needed to try (yet again) to rest, just one more time.
“You know what they say,” she murmured to herself. “76th time’s the charm.”
Delirious with exhaustion and the fever as she was, she couldn’t help herself from chuckling at the thought. Her eyes, bloodshot and burning from the strain she had endured, lazily looked around at what few constellations she could recognize for one last time, and spotted the pattern of Orion in the night sky.
Hey big O, close the door on your way out, eh? I’m gonna try and take a snooze.
She snorted, wincing as she did.
…Finding my own jokes funny. Jesus, I am delirious…
She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes, willing herself to please, please just go to sleep already, because sleep meant being unconscious, and being unconscious meant she could ignore the pain from her arm for a while. And to her surprise, she finally started drifting off. Her breath slowed, the fog visible in the cold air in front of her mouth coming less and less often as she drifted closer to the edge of unconsciousness.
As a result, she barely even heard the soft humming noise approaching, and almost didn’t feel herself being gently, almost imperceptibly lifted off the ground. When she noticed it, what parts of her mind that were still semi-conscious brushed it off as either a dream or hallucination, and slipped behind the wall of sleep…
…For all of two minutes. She wasn’t getting off that easy.
She was jolted awake by a sudden feeling of what could only be described as compression across her whole body, though “compression” hardly did it justice; It was as though she were being squeezed through a drinking straw. …Yet before she could react, the feeling was over.
Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing a dimly-lit room, alive with that same strange humming noise from before. She crinkled her nose at the smell that assailed her nostrils. It was strange, like a combination of various industrial cleaners, engine grease, and ozone. She rubbed her eyelids before she groggily looked around, confused. Where was she? She turned her head and saw a very strange-looking machine that was seemingly floating in midair. She craned her neck, looking past it, and her eyes widened at what she saw glowing through a small, circular viewing window in the nearby wall.
Was that- …Earth?
She slowly, gingerly sat up, wincing from the protests her arm gave at her daring to do such a thing. It took everything in her, but she slowly dragged herself closer to the window, peering out at the planet slowly circling in the void below her. There was no doubt about it, that was Earth. She recognized North and South America, Greenland, even a portion of the northern Arctic. She could even see all the wildfires burning as a result of-
…Well, everything collectively hitting the fan in the past week.
Tilting her head, she could see the exterior of the… building? Satellite? Space station? …Whatever it was she was apparently on, that was outside the window. Gun-metal gray and covered in strange symbols in a language she didn’t recognize, it was unlike anything she’d seen before- and it wasn’t alone.
She saw several other similar… things, floating nearby. They ranged in size from the relatively small, around the size of a house, to absolutely massive ones that she estimated must be miles across. She shook her head in disbelief and laid her head back down on the cold metal floor.
Ok, scratch that, she was obviously still asleep; after all, this had to be the weirdest dream she’d ever had…
Suddenly, a scraping, screeching noise rang through the room, startling her. She looked around and saw a tall, lanky, shadowy figure entering the room they were in as it finished sliding open the metal door that was the source of the noise. Without warning, the room was aglow with a bright light from overhead, causing her to wince and close her eyes. She rubbed her eyelids again, trying to ignore the irritation the action caused, and looked back at the figure, eyes widening as they adjusted to the light- and then even wider, as she froze in place with a gasp at what she saw.
The… creature standing over her was like some horrific combination of a reptile and insect. Its frame was slim and bipedal, with limbs proportioned far longer than any normal human. It towered over her, easily seven feet tall or more. Its head was like that of a praying mantis minus the antennae, with three chameleon-like eyes. The first eye was symmetrically centered in the forehead, the other the two mirrored on the sides of its head where the temples on a human head would be, and all three were very intently focused on her. On its face was a glowing, bioluminescent set of growths all down the front, forming a v-shaped, curving pattern that almost looked like a deranged smile, but its real mouth hid behind a pair of razor-sharp mandibles on its jawline that clicked together a few times as she watched.
Its hide was dark gray and shiny, almost metallic, somewhere between reptilian scales and an insectoid carapace, and generally looked like it would be at home in an H.R. Giger painting. The bioluminescent growths on its face continued down to its torso in three vertical, parallel lines, growing larger as they went further down. Each gangly arm ended in four chitin-covered fingers, tipped with razor-sharp claws.
The only thing even remotely resembling clothing it was wearing was something that looked like a long skirt or kilt, which would probably almost look funny if it weren’t for the fact that the material it was made of almost looked like human skin. From what she saw of the legs underneath it, they were digitrade and almost like those of a bird, with three toes in front and one facing backwards, all with very long claws on them, but no feathers could be seen- just more of that sickly-gray chitinous carapace.
It stood there for a second, silently watching her as she sat there trembling, now more from fear than cold or fever, before all its glowing growths suddenly began to gleam blood-red, and it reached out towards her with one of its clawed arms whilst making a terrifying noise- like the hiss of a cat mixed with the warning signal of a rattlesnake.
Her adrenaline spiked, and the various subdivisions of her brain responsible for survival instincts went into overdrive.
Each presented their findings for peer review: THING. BIG. DEADLY. SCARY.
They rapidly formed a committee and held a brief conference as to the good and proper response to this interesting new development. The vote was both swift and unanimous:
RUN.
The adrenaline surge gave her the endurance she needed to ignore the pain and scramble backwards before finally getting enough traction on the metal floor to get to her feet, turn, and run screaming through the opposite doorway, getting away from the monster as fast as she could.
——
Y’ggdrasog flinched at the sudden movement of the human scrambling awkwardly to her feet with the help of her unbroken arm before sprinting away from him whilst emitting a high-pitched noise he was unfamiliar with, presumably of distress.
For a moment, he just stood there, puzzled. What was she doing, and why? All he had done was say “Hello.” Then he remembered himself, and figured he should probably resolve the situation before she bumbled her way out of the airlock or something. He called after her:
<”Wait- please, stop! I mean you no harm! …Why in the name of the spirits above are you running away from-”>
His eyes widened, his bioluminescence rapidly shifting to a bright white as he realized.

He tapped the side of his head to bring up his cranial implant’s heads-up-display interface and quickly went through a few drop-down menus. Finally finding the setting he was looking for, he turned the software back on and then started to run after her. He shook his head as he went, irritated at himself as his bioluminescence changed to an annoyed green to match.

He let out a frustrated sigh and just kept following the loud, high-pitched noises, wincing as he did so.
His ears hurt.

I ordered a Dr. Pen microneedling pen which should be here today. I cant MN for a few weeks tho, I did a peel two days ago. Just wondering what you guys use for serum. I’ve watched countless videos on other people doing it, influencers and such. They all use different things and I’m just overwhelmed as to what to use. I don’t want to spend a fortune on something but I don’t mind paying for good quality. I’m 43 and have a lot of sun damage that I’m working hard on. I also have naturally dry skin. Not sensitive at all, just very fair and dry skin.
Any advice?

CashApp and Gpay payments should have NO COMMENTS. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS PLEASE PM ME. Comments will result in a permanent ban
Item Name Set Number: 2x 501st Legion Clone Troopers 75280 or 3x Road Plates 60304
Lego Price/Justification: $64 BE ($32x2) or $63 ($21 w/tax x3)
Shipping: $19 (12x9x6, 3lb, ups ground, 53186 to 98597)
Raffle Total/Spots: $82 = 82 @ $1
Call spots: Yes
Spot limit per person: No
Duration of spot limit: N/A
Location(Country): WI
Will ship international: No sorry/Hawaii/Alaska pay cost above listed quote.
Timestamp pics: https://imgur.com/a/deLnTyG
Description: Winner gets EITHER 2x 501st Legion Clone Troopers 75280 or 3x Road Plates 60304. Not both. Creasing on the back of some of the clones.
Payment required w/in 10 minutes of raffle filling. 5 min for drama
CashApp and Gpay payments should have NO COMMENTS. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS PLEASE PM ME. Comments will result in a permanent ban
PM me for Gpay NO PAYPAL

PayPal Info: NO PP, PM For Gpay
Cash App Info: https://cash.app
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Tip BlobAndHisBoy
Number of vacant slots: 82
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This slot list is created and updated by The EDC Raffle Tool by BlobAndHisBoy.
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Hello good sparks of Reddit!
We recently moved into a new house (new to us) in Ireland. I have a smart WiFi security camera that is designed to go in place of a security light. It has a motion sensor, but needs constant power as it records on a loop and only saves when it detects motion. I have installed this camera successfully in two other properties we previously lived at.
I installed it in place of a security light at the front door of our new property. This light also had a built in motion sensor. However, beside that there is a separate standalone motion sensor mounted on the wall. Everything seemed fine after the install except that another security light at the side of the house was on constantly.
My wife eventually found a switch to turn the light at the side off. The problem is it seems to be connected to the circuit for the light (now camera) and standalone motion sensor at the front of the house. So now the camera only has power when the standalone sensor beside it is activated. This sensor also switches on the security light at the side of the house as intended. This is obviously not ideal as we have no remote access to the camera unless there is motion and due to the bootup time, whatever triggers the motion sensor is gone by the time the camera starts recording.
So it seems to me that I need to remove the camera from the motion sensor circuit and supply it with constant power. My question is: can I easily set this up so that the camera has constant power whilst retaining the sensor function of the other light at the side of the house? Can I figure out which wires have constant power and which are going to the sensor?
It's been a few weeks since I installed it but I think there were two sets of each wire plugged into the camera, I just wired it exactly as the existing light had been wired.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I appreciate any advice you can offer.

https://ibb.co/nzvcQcW
This is the task manager after playing a youtube video for a while(420p). both CPU and GPU keep going back and forth between 100% and 30%.
If I use Firefox picture-in-picture and watch the video on a blank page(even if I make it full screen) the CPU goes under 20%. but if I open the page of the video(even in picture-in-picture mode) it goes back to 100%!
I installed Chrome too and it's on 80% over there too(and the same thing with picture-in-picture)
I tried other streaming sites and they're all under 20% in any mode.
​
My drivers are all up to date. my Windows is up to date.
Also my Windows security keeps showing me this warning, in the core isolation. I turned it on but it doesn't go away. I wonder if it had anything to do with this thing!
https://ibb.co/zPqGCny
​
I also use a V2Ray VPN. If it has anything to do with it. but other streaming sites work fine with it(under 20% CPU). But Edge and Chrome crash 4 seconds after launching them if V2Ray is active(unless I run them as Admin, wtf)

Hi there,
I didn’t played much of PvP just a bit of rogue and warrior but I would like to get started as a healer to play with my friend.
I was wondering which class should I pick. I was maybe thinking about MW or Rdrood. Are they decent class to start with?
And aside from class selection do you have any general advice on how to get started?
Cheers!

I decided to try out a summon necro, basically because I've collected some great gear for one.
First thing I've noticed is decrepify and life tap are disgusting! I've never had such an easy time with bosses.
I'm near the end of nightmare, and wondering where to go with the build...
I've maxed raise skeleton and skeleton mastery, one point in - Clay golem, golem mastery, summon resist, corpse explosion and all the curses (except the ones on the left).
I've seen maxing clay golem and corpse explosion is common, but is a going skelly mage viable instead of clay golem, so I can have a bigger army?
I'm guessing corpse explosion is a must, as its my only way of dealing damage myself?
Thanks for any advice!

Good morning everyone!
I'm taking my first cruise this May on NCL and I'm super excited. I'm big on budgeting and haven't really planned for the excursions, and now i see that the majority have early start times only (730a) and I'm not too thrilled to get up and directly go on an excursion. I plan to do one and take advantage of my $50 excursion credit. I was wondering if there are any people out there that have forgone the excursions and made their own plans or booked experiences, and if so how was it and what did you do? And do you have any tips or opinions on this?
Stops: St Thomas, D.R Amber Cove, P.R San Juan.
Any opinions or tips are much appreciated!
Take care A.P

my five year old has been evaluated for an IEP due to high functioning autism and adhd. we have out PR-01 today and I’m very nervous and almost expecting them to not approve her. Just really trying to prepare myself mentally for every outcome, but that’s my own anxiety.
I’m wondering if anyone has an input on what goals and objectives to put in for someone in this category? she is really struggling with staying on task, emotional regulation and sensory issues. one page of homework is taking an hour +
I’ve also got a 15 month old and MIL got sick this morning so she can no longer baby sit. Will it be inappropriate to bring her along? I would obviously rather not but I am scrambling to find another sitter at this point.
Any advice is welcome, please be kind.
And thank you to all you teachers/staff members/caretakers. you all rock

I drove in the Netherlands for quite a while and as a foreigner I'm wondering about one thing.
Why is there overtaking forbidden on few expressways or (is it correct?) autoweg. Visibility is usually very good, because it's a literally straight road or a slight curve (still with good visibility).
Except it, green stripe in middle of the road meaning 100 km/h limit is a very good idea, when you don't see any speed signs.

This painting on the wall is The Rale Guardians of Romidna. You remember reading about this place in Master Arasemis’s library. Romidna is part of Spardo Aria, a sacred island that the Ovelians believe is owned by one of their gods. Romidna is a holy place where all crimes are forbidden, especially murder and theft. All Ovelians may come and go from Romidna as they wish, and all food is free for short stays. Housing is also free, but one can only live there by petitioning the king.
Like the other islands of Spardo, Romidna competes for the greatest and most opulent shrines and monuments to the various Ovelian deities. But because it is a holy island, Romidna stands apart. Some of its temples took centuries to construct, and some even date back to the first temples built by the Caribani tribe. Among the most peculiar temples is a small, egg-shaped one that honors the god Rale, built in a mossy forest of larch trees. You notice a painting of the Rale temple nearby.
---
Context: This is an excerpt from the Earthpillar Online: Thorendor Castle interactive. This epic fantasy WIP has full-scale DungeonDraft maps of every room of a 10-floor castle (100+ map images), where alchemical objects, artwork, bookshelves, chests, and doors are clickable like an old school choose-your-own-adventure. You can wander each room to learn more about the Earthpillar world you’ve read about in the novels (or get a taste of the writing if you haven't), without stumbling into spoilers. More at Earthpillar

Let me start by saying that we have a beautiful, healthy 5 month old baby girl. She’s learning new things every day and you can start to see flashes of her personality. She’s cooing and babbling and giggling. It’s wonderful to watch and very fun.
However, I am completely exhausted. I think my body was more tired during pregnancy because I would sleep constantly. But this is more like physical exhaustion caused by a combination of being overly stressed or anxious and trying to get so much done.
My good friend told me that she found 5 months especially challenging. As she put it, you’ve finally run out of adrenaline and you aren’t in the newborn stage anymore but you also don’t have a more independent baby.
Anyone else experience this? I work full time and so does my husband. I’d love suggestions on how to get my energy levels up so I can get everything done without collapsing into bed every night.

At 4 Friends Moving of Vero Beach, we take pride in helping our community be great. Get to know your town and all of the wonderful people who help make this city the best place to live. We will ensure that moving day is as easy as possible for you. At 4 Friends Moving of Vero Beach, we take pride in helping our community be great. Whether you are moving locally or across the country, we provide a high level of service that is second to none. Our goal is to give you a stress-free experience with total confidence in your move.

I’m doing better than either of my parents could have hoped for, I have an amazing girlfriend, two wonderful boys, with my ex wife, and I feel like I should be on top of the world.
I don’t feel like it though. Everyday is a slog and it’s getting too much to handle. I had a mental health appointment at the VA a few weeks ago but I was ten minutes late and it pushed back another two months.
I’m not looking for advice. I just think I need to vent. Almost 32 years of life and I feel the lowest I’ve ever been. I hate this.

Hi, I am (32M Pansexual) and my wife (26F Bi-curious) decided to go the ENM route last year. Married for 5 years and in a relationship for 7. We both are very hi-libido.
​
A lot of our history because I guess context matters. I Apologise for the long post in advance.
I always knew I am Non-monogamous because non of my previous relationships worked out as I was sexually attracted to women mostly but also certain types of men and genders that I just felt right. That led to a lot of anxiety, OCD and depression. Bouts of low self-esteem and feeling worthless. I'm naturally resilient and never needed medication. I had no clue about my sexual orientation growing up in a strict catholic family. I'm an ambivert but I'm a very dominant person and sometimes a control freak wanting every detail.
​
My wife is bi-curious and we live in a very rigid social norms Asian country from a moderate Buddhist family. The culture actively discourages women from exploring sexuality. She was hooking up a lot and enjoyed the sex but had no idea about the concept of ENM. She battled BPD, at one point was on medication. She is a total extrovert, happy-go-lucky. Everyone she comes in contact with loves her company.
​
She is the absolute best. I was very open about wanting to have multiple partners from the start. We partook in kinks like exhibitionism, Light BDSM, voyeurism, and roleplay this led to us talking more openly about how she misses casual sex. Given the fact, I'm a buzzkill when going out to drinks or dinners and she really wants it.
​
We live in a society where anything outside of heterosexuality and monogamy is shameful. It's sexually regressive. People get shamed, lose inheritances and their lives are destroyed. So we are very secretive. Most kinks we do while we travel, staying in hotels where no one can recognize us. Away from the city where we have families and friends. Limit it to online. Our major rule is we will never get in touch with anyone we know.
​
After long discussions, we decided we should try dating other couples. The idea was swinging, threesome or foursomes. After a lot of time on research, posting on the regional ENM/GW community and chatting and video calls we landed a date with another couple that didn't go well because of my timid socially awkward ass and the other woman did not like me. It worked online but people are different IRL. They say they are good for a threesome with my wife but are not comfortable with me because I did not fit their expectations. My wife says I'm a 10/10 for her but I have no luck with dates. A 0/10 with most women. I just get awkward in social situations.
​
My wife was disappointed, we had a few rules in place and a major one was we both would participate or it's a no. That was not going well for her and I was not a big fan of hot-wife cuckold LS, I have my insecurities from a past relationship where I felt I was cheated on. I find it enjoyable when I'm actively involved. I'm dominating by nature.
​
We worked through it and decided that she would sext with men and see how that went. Keep it only online. If I was still not comfortable she would stop. I don't really enjoy it but I can compromise to make our relationship happy. The catch was I wanted every detail of it. She had fun and shared with me everything and our sex was much more intense. We even made groups of 3 where we discussed having threesomes as a possibility with FWB. That never materialized as we are all in different cities and all the possible reasons.
​
So this week she had to travel for work to another city around 200 miles for 15 days. I'm alone at home. She goes out for a drink with her colleagues. Comes back that night and tells me there were so many guys trying to hit on her and it was hard for her to say no. As we have only had sex with each other for the last 7 years. So I tell her how about she gets a dating app and see where it goes and it went bonkers. She got about 600 superlikes in a single day and now the total likes going around 4000. She starts chatting with men. She shares that she has a hookup date that wants to meet her for drinks and if all goes well they will get a room in a different hotel and hit it off. So I say ok, I swallow my pride and tell her to have fun but we have unbreakable rules. It's this or it's an absolute no.

1. No unprotected VP. A condom is a must.
2. No oral sex (BJs) because don't contract STIs.
3. She keeps me updated all the time. Share's live location shares his profile and the hotel they go to. Just so the panicky anxious me can stay sane that she's safe. Well, our country is known for rape and women abuse so can't be more careful.
4. If someone in her company notices she will abort the date.
5. She has the autonomy over choosing when and who she can see as per her time as long as she is safe.
6. She will decide how far the date goes as per her comfort level.
7. It's a one-time thing unless we discuss it together on taking it FWB. No phone numbers were shared.
8. In case they do end up having sex, She shares the details. A naked selfie of herself in the hotel room, or a voice note of her screaming, if the other person agrees to a good video. Something that we can remember the night when we meet and talk about it. (This was purely my idea)
9. She tells me everything in minute detail about the whole experience. Once she's back or the next day as per her convenience. We will share and talk about the experience.

​
So they meet, have drinks and she goes to his place. He insisted and she obliged. No hotel room. I was under the impression that it's mandatory to get a hotel. They go to his place, they drink some more and she is now not texting. She sends me the location so which calms me down I wait for about 3 hours patiently.
She texts me and I'm excited to get to the details. I ask her how was it. She is not giving me any straight answers. She says I might flip and not like her. I ask her why? She says it was really great for her. She had a wonderful time. They got to talking about a lot of stuff and they made out and had sex.
​
I'm glad, she's happy and she reaches her hotel. So I ask her if she got any pics or voice notes. She said she was going with the flow and she didn't wanna ruin the mood and the guy was not willing to. I agree it was irrational of me to ask this of her. I'm dissatisfied. devasted. I tell her I wanna be a part of it, can she tell me what went down? She says she's tired and we can talk the next day. I let her sleep. I cannot sleep the whole night.
The next day I cannot think of anything other than what might have happened. I wish her a good morning, be nice to her. I wait till the evening and ask her if she can tell me what went on and she says she had a good time. I tell her I wanna know what happened, give me some details and she says I wouldn't like it. she starts to patronize me saying he was not half as good as me, I'm the best but I find it way too disrespectful and at this point, everything she's saying is a lie. She doesn't tell me much but evades the question. She says she has another date planned now and she needs to leave.
I'm wondering did they use protection, what is happening? I'm having panic attacks. That causes physical pain. the last time this happened was 8 years ago when I went through a breakup with my ex-girlfriend and I can't breathe. My heart is pounding. it only gets worse. This was yesterday she doesn't text, call or let me know. I don't know who this guy is. I have no clue what's going on.
I call her colleague and ask her if she's doing ok and her colleague calls her room. It seems she got too drunk and did not remember when she got back and forgot to text. Well, I'm glad she's safe so I let her sleep it off.
This morning she tells me nothing happened. She got a bit too drunk and got back to the hotel and passed out on the bed.
Whiskey and Cigarettes are keeping me sane for the day. She has another 3 days left before she comes home.
Now, today she has another coffee date.
I am Looking for advice on the things:

1. How do I process this? I feel my trust is broken. My insecurities have taken hold of me. I know we desire each other. I love her.
2. What do I do next? I feel everything until now was a big lie. I feel we had an understanding but to what extent do I compromise my sanity for her happiness? Is this even worth it?

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Any advice on how to move forward? I think we trust and love each other to make this work, I'm shattered ... I am just sincerely terrified of harming her and ruining our beautiful relationship.

So I just finished my second run of Retribution (amazing game) and this time I went in person to meet Hollow Ground. I was kinda annoyed that after the crash apperently the Rangers had figured out I was the villain, I'd been very careful to keep my Anonymity score high (78%). I mean obviously there's no hiding the whole ReGene thing... but I'm just wondering if there anyway to go in person to meet Hollow Ground without being revealed.