So for the past year I've been spending a huge amount of time on learning how to learn starting with Barbara Oakley's famous coursera course of the same name, to ultralearning from Scott Young, to Make It Stick by Peter C Brown, and from there I looked at papers on how to learn as well as sites and articles for anything else. This post is only a smidgen of what I've found, but I hope it is enough information for you to get started and hopefully find research yourself that you can look up to! I will link some recommended sources in the comments of this post so you can start with if you want to start digging deeper.

Introduction

Are you struggling to learn new things effectively? Do you feel like you're not making progress despite putting in a lot of effort? Learning how to learn is a crucial skill that can help you overcome these challenges and achieve your goals. In this post, we'll discuss the science behind effective learning and memory, and explore various techniques and insights from books and sources to help you learn things deeply and quickly. Whether you're a student, professional, or anyone who wants to improve their learning skills, this post is for you. So let's dive in and learn how to learn!
First, let's talk about why learning how to learn is so important. Many people approach learning as a chore, something they have to do to get good grades or advance in their career. But what if I told you that by mastering the science of learning, you can actually make learning more enjoyable and efficient?
To understand how to make learning easier and more effective, we need to dive into the science behind it. The brain is an incredibly complex device, with a million billion synapses where memories are stored. But how exactly do these memories get stored and retrieved?

How the Brain Works

To gain a better understanding of how memories are formed and retrieved, it is essential to delve into the intricacies of neurons and synapses. Neurons, as the fundamental building blocks of the brain, play a crucial role in the process of memory formation and retention. Synapses, on the other hand, are the interconnecting bridges that allow neurons to communicate with each other. When we learn something new, electrical signals are transmitted through these synapses, which in turn produce neurotransmitters responsible for the storage of memories
However, the process of memory formation is not just about having more synapses. It is also about the manner in which they are connected to one another. Different areas of the brain are responsible for various aspects of learning and memory. The hippocampus and frontal cortex, for instance, are involved in analyzing perceptions and deciding what information to store, while the amygdala plays a vital role in integrating emotions and memory. It is through the complex interplay of these different neural regions that memories are formed, stored, and retrieved.

How Memory Works

Memory is an intricate process that involves multiple stages. These stages are sensory, short-term, and long-term memory. Sensory memory is the first stage of memory that receives and processes fleeting impressions of your perceptions. It is responsible for holding raw information for a very short time, no more than a few seconds.
Short-term memory is the second stage of memory and is like a storage unit that holds about four chunks of information and lasts for 20-30 seconds. During this stage, the brain processes and stores the information currently in use, such as a phone number, an address, or a short message.
It is long-term memory that we tend to think of when we talk about memory. This stage is responsible for storing and retrieving information for an extended period. The long-term memory capacity is vast, and it is where the most important and meaningful memories are stored.
To move information from short-term to long-term memory, you need to use a technique called spaced repetition. This involves repeating what you're trying to retain over several days to strengthen the synaptic connections between neurons. However, it's not just about repetition - it's about encoding, storage, and retrieval processes. Encoding is the process of transforming information into a meaningful code that can be stored in memory, while storage is the process of retaining that information over time. Lastly, retrieval is the process of accessing stored information when needed.

Common Misconceptions about Learning and Memory

There are a number of myths and misconceptions surrounding the processes of learning and memory that can unfortunately hinder one's progress. One common misconception is that intelligence is a fixed trait and that one's memory or learning abilities cannot be improved. However, the reality is that anyone can improve their memory and learning skills through deliberate and consistent practice.
Another popular myth is the belief that taking breaks during learning or studying is a waste of time. However, in truth, taking breaks is an essential component of effective learning. When you take a break, your brain's diffuse mode works in the background, creating new neural connections and allowing you to see things from different perspectives, leading to better and more comprehensive learning.
By understanding the science behind learning and memory, one can approach the process of learning with a more positive mindset and focus on utilizing effective strategies. With the right techniques, anyone can learn new information deeply and quickly, making the process of learning a more enjoyable and rewarding experience. In addition, there are many tools and resources available to help one improve their learning and memory abilities, including mind mapping, mnemonic devices, spaced repetition, and more.

Techniques for Effective Learning

Now that we've busted some myths, it's time to explore some tried-and-true techniques for effective learning. These techniques involve taking advantage of the way our brains naturally process and store information. Let's dive in!

Recall

Recall is an effective strategy for improving memory retention because it strengthens the synaptic connections between neurons. Essentially, when you actively retrieve information from memory, you are exercising your brain and making it easier to retrieve the information in the future. This technique can be thought of as lifting weights for your brain, and just like with physical exercise, consistent practice is key.
To effectively use recall in your study routine, start by actively testing yourself on the material you are trying to learn. For example, if you are studying for a history exam, try to recall important dates and events without looking at your notes. This will help to exercise the neural pathways associated with that information and make it easier to remember in the future. Another effective technique is to use flashcards, which allow you to actively retrieve information from memory and test yourself on specific concepts or terms.
The reason why recall is so effective for improving memory retention is because it strengthens the synaptic connections between neurons. When you repeatedly retrieve information from memory, you are essentially reinforcing the neural pathways associated with that information. This makes it easier to retrieve the information in the future, because the pathways have been strengthened and the information is easier to access.
In addition to recall, there are other strategies that can improve memory retention. Spaced repetition is one such strategy, which involves repeating what you're trying to retain over several days to strengthen synaptic connections. Chunking is another strategy, which involves piecing together bits of information through meaning and usage. This allows you to tie meaning to a concept or idea and make it more memorable. By incorporating these techniques into your study routine, you can optimize your learning and retain information more effectively.

Spaced Repetition

Spaced repetition is a powerful technique that can be used to improve your ability to retain information. It involves repeating what you are trying to remember over several days to strengthen synaptic connections in your brain. The technique, much like watering a plant, requires the right amount of repetition at the right intervals to achieve optimal growth.
To effectively use spaced repetition, it is important to first create a schedule of when and how often to repeat the material. For example, if you are trying to memorize a list of vocabulary words in a foreign language, you might start by studying the words for a few minutes each day for a week. Then, you might repeat the list of words every other day for the next two weeks, and then once a week for the following month. This spaced repetition schedule allows for optimal growth of synaptic connections in your brain, improving your ability to retain the information.
Another example of spaced repetition in action is when learning to play a musical instrument. Instead of practicing for hours on end, it is often more effective to practice for shorter periods of time, with breaks in between to allow your brain to consolidate the new information. By spacing out your practice sessions and repeating the material over several days, you can improve your ability to retain the information and improve your overall skill level.
Spaced repetition works because it takes advantage of the brain's natural learning processes. When you learn something new, your brain creates new synapses between neurons to store the information. However, these synapses are relatively weak at first and can easily be forgotten. By repeating the material over several days, the synapses become stronger and more permanent, making it easier to recall the information later on. This technique also helps to prevent forgetting by refreshing the memory at regular intervals, further strengthening the synaptic connections in your brain.

Interleaving

Interleaving is a highly effective technique for learning and practicing skills or concepts. It involves mixing up different types of problems or materials, which can help you to better retain and apply the information. The key to effective interleaving is to ensure that you are constantly switching between different types of problems or materials in a way that allows your brain to make new connections between ideas and to think in a more flexible and adaptable way. This can lead to deeper understanding and more efficient learning.
For example, if you are trying to learn a new language, you might start by practicing basic vocabulary and grammar rules. However, instead of simply repeating the same exercises over and over again, you could try interleaving different types of exercises, such as practicing vocabulary, grammar, and reading comprehension in quick succession. This would force your brain to constantly switch between different types of problems, which would help you to better retain and apply the information.
Another example of interleaving is in sports training. Instead of performing the same drills over and over again, athletes can benefit from mixing up their training routine. For instance, a basketball player might practice shooting, dribbling, and passing in quick succession, rather than focusing on a single skill for an extended period of time. This would force the player to adjust to different types of challenges and think in a more flexible and adaptable way, which would ultimately improve their overall performance.
The reason why interleaving is so effective is that it forces your brain to constantly switch between different types of problems, which helps to build new neural connections and reinforce existing ones. By constantly challenging your brain to adapt to new situations, you are training it to be more flexible and adaptable, which can lead to deeper understanding and more efficient learning. Additionally, interleaving can help to prevent boredom and keep you engaged in the learning process, which can ultimately lead to better overall outcomes.

Mnemonics

Mnemonics are an effective memory aid that can help you remember information by creating associations between the information you want to remember and other things that you already know. This technique works because the brain is naturally wired to remember things that are meaningful and connected to other information.
One way to use mnemonics is to create a memorable sentence or acronym that represents a list of items. For example, to remember the colors of the rainbow in order, you can use the acronym ROYGBIV (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet). Another way to use mnemonics is to create a memorable image that represents a concept. For example, to remember the difference between weather and climate, you can imagine a man holding an umbrella (weather) while standing next to a tree (climate).
To use mnemonics effectively, it's important to create associations that are vivid, meaningful, and easy to remember. You should also try to use mnemonics in a way that makes sense to you personally. For example, if you have a strong association between a particular food and a memory, you can use that food in your mnemonic to help you remember the information.
Overall, mnemonics are a powerful tool that can help you remember information more effectively. By creating associations between new information and things you already know, you can improve your memory and recall more easily.

Memory Palace

The Memory Palace technique is an excellent mnemonic strategy that can be utilized to improve memory. This technique involves creating a mental map of a familiar location, such as your home or workplace, and associating each item that you want to remember with a specific location in that place. By doing so, you can significantly improve your ability to remember things.
To effectively use this technique, start by selecting a location that you are familiar with and that has a specific structure, such as a house or a building. Next, imagine yourself walking through the location and identify specific objects or landmarks that stand out to you. For example, if you choose your apartment, you could associate the couch with the color red, the dining table with a vase of flowers, and the kitchen with the smell of coffee.
Once you have identified these landmarks, you can associate each item that you want to remember with a specific location in your mental map. For instance, if you want to remember a list of grocery items, you can associate each item with a specific location in your home. For example, you can associate apples with the fruit bowl on your kitchen counter, bread with the bread box on your kitchen shelf, and milk with the refrigerator in your kitchen. By doing so, when you need to recall the items, you can simply visualize your mental map of your home and recall the location of each item.
This technique is effective because it leverages the power of visualization and association. By associating each item with a specific location in your mental map, you create a visual and spatial representation of the information in your mind. This makes it easier for you to recall the information later because your brain has formed strong connections between the items and the locations. With practice, you can use this technique to remember even long lists of items, and impress your friends and colleagues with your newfound memory skills.

Chunking

Chunking is a technique for memorizing information by grouping it into smaller chunks, making it easier to remember. For example, if you need to memorize a phone number, you might chunk it into three groups of numbers, like 555-123-4567. This makes it easier to remember because it's easier to remember three smaller chunks than one long string of digits.
Another example of chunking is breaking down a larger concept into smaller, more manageable pieces. For instance, if you're trying to learn a new programming language, you might start by breaking it down into smaller components, such as syntax, data types, and control structures. Once you've mastered these smaller chunks, you can start piecing them together to gain a better understanding of the language as a whole.
Chunking is effective because it makes it easier for the brain to process and store information. When information is presented in smaller, more manageable chunks, it's easier for the brain to process and remember. Additionally, chunking helps to create meaningful connections between pieces of information, making it easier to recall them later.
To effectively use chunking, it's important to give the task your undivided attention and then find the overall big picture and key ideas. You can perform a quick picture walk-through of your material, and anything that stands out is usually important. You should then provide context for your ideas and concepts to know when to use them. Finally, you want to tie auditory hooks to your memory by speaking about it out loud with self-explanation.
Overall, chunking is a powerful technique for learning and memorization because it makes information more manageable and easier to process. By breaking down larger concepts into smaller, more manageable chunks, you can make it easier for your brain to process and store information, making it easier to recall later on.

Self-Explanation

Self-explanation is a powerful learning technique that can be used in a variety of contexts. One way to effectively use self-explanation is to ask "why" questions when encountering a new concept. For example, if you are learning about the concept of photosynthesis, you might ask yourself, "Why do plants need sunlight in order to produce energy?" By asking and answering these types of questions, you are actively engaging with the material and promoting the formation of new connections between ideas.
Another way to use self-explanation is to relate new concepts to what you already know. For example, if you are learning a new language and come across a new word, you might try to relate it to a word in your native language that has a similar meaning. This can help you remember the new word and also reinforce your understanding of the concept it represents.
Finally, self-explanation can be used to identify gaps in your understanding. For example, if you are reading a complex scientific article and come across a term or concept that you don't fully understand, you might try to explain it to yourself in your own words. If you can't explain it, that might be an indication that you need to go back and review the material or seek additional resources.
The reason why self-explanation is such an effective learning technique is that it encourages individuals to actively engage with the material and construct new knowledge by relating it to what they already know. By creating a dialogue with oneself, one is able to identify gaps in their understanding and clarify their thinking, leading to a more thorough and integrated understanding of the material. Essentially, self-explanation is like having a conversation with your own brain, which can be a powerful tool in the learning process.

Elaborative Interrogation

Elaborative interrogation is a powerful technique that can help you improve your learning process by asking yourself "why" questions and trying to come up with a detailed explanation. This process can be thought of as trying to be a detective in your own mind, where you are constantly trying to uncover new clues and piece together the information you already have. Here are a few examples of how to effectively use this technique:
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• When studying history, ask yourself why certain events occurred and what factors led to them. Try to come up with a detailed explanation that takes into account all the relevant factors.
• When learning a new concept in science, ask yourself why it works the way it does, and try to come up with a detailed explanation that includes all the relevant principles and laws.
• When reading a novel, ask yourself why certain characters behave the way they do, and try to come up with a detailed explanation that considers their motivations and past experiences.

This technique works because it forces you to engage with the material on a deeper level and make connections with other ideas. By asking yourself why something is true, you are actively processing the information and creating new neural connections. This process helps you to remember the information better and understand it more deeply. Furthermore, the process of elaborative interrogation helps to overcome illusions of understanding by exposing gaps in knowledge and highlighting areas that need further clarification.
Moreover, these techniques can make learning more effective and enjoyable. Whether you are trying to learn a new language, improve your math skills, or expand your knowledge, these techniques can help you achieve your goals. Not only do they allow you to think more critically and creatively, but they also stimulate your brain in new ways and encourage you to explore different perspectives and ideas.
So, if you haven't tried these techniques yet, give them a try! You might be surprised at how much they can improve your learning experience. Your brain will certainly thank you for it!

Beating Procrastination

Procrastination is a fascinating phenomenon that affects all of us in some way or another. It's like a monster that lurks inside our brains, always ready to pounce when we need to get something done. When we're faced with a task that we don't want to do, our brain associates it with pain, discomfort and stress. It's like our brain is telling us that this task is going to be hard and that we're going to have to work really hard to get it done. This is because the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and cognitive control, is in charge of regulating behavior associated with goals. When faced with a difficult task, the prefrontal cortex sends signals to the amygdala, the part of the brain associated with emotion, to initiate a stress response. This stress response activates the release of cortisol, a hormone that is associated with the body's response to stress, and creates physical discomfort in our body. This discomfort is what we perceive as pain, and it's what makes procrastination so difficult to overcome.
To make matters worse, our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. When we procrastinate, we turn to activities that give us immediate pleasure, like scrolling through social media or watching TV. These activities release dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. Our brains then begin to associate procrastination with pleasure, making it even harder to overcome.
So, how can we beat procrastination?
To beat procrastination, it's important to understand the habit loop consisting of a cue, routine, reward, and belief. Once you have identified the cues and rewards that drive your procrastination habits, you can develop strategies to override them. For example, if the cue for procrastination is checking social media, you can remove the social media app from your phone or block it during certain times of the day. If the reward for procrastination is watching TV, you can reward yourself with an episode of your favorite show after completing a task.
This technique works because it helps to rewire the neural pathways associated with procrastination. By changing the cues and rewards, you can change the behavior associated with the habit. Additionally, by developing new habits and routines, you can strengthen the neural pathways associated with those behaviors, making them more automatic and easier to perform over time. With practice, you can learn to override the procrastination habit and develop more productive habits that help you achieve your goals.
The Pomodoro technique is a time management method that involves breaking work into 25-minute intervals, called "pomodoros," followed by a 5-minute break. After four pomodoros, take a longer break of around 15-30 minutes. However, it is important to note that you do not have to follow this exact timing and can adjust the intervals to fit your needs.
The Pomodoro technique works because it helps you stay focused and avoid distractions. By breaking work into manageable intervals, you are less likely to become overwhelmed or lose focus. Additionally, the breaks allow your brain to rest and recharge, making it easier to stay productive throughout the day.
To effectively use the Pomodoro technique, start by identifying the task you want to complete. Set a timer for 25 minutes and work on the task until the timer goes off. Take a 5-minute break, then repeat the process. After four pomodoros, take a longer break to recharge. It can also be helpful to track your progress and make adjustments as needed. If you find that 25-minute intervals are too long or too short, adjust the intervals to fit your needs.
Here are a few concrete examples of how to use the Pomodoro technique:
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• When studying for a test, break the material into manageable chunks and work on each chunk for 25 minutes at a time.
• When writing a paper, work on one section for 25 minutes, then take a break before moving on to the next section.
• When working on a project, break it down into smaller tasks and work on each task for 25 minutes at a time.

Overall, the Pomodoro technique is a simple but effective way to manage your time and stay focused on your work. Of course, you don’t have to follow 25/5 pomodoro. You can do 50/10, 45/15, etc. I wouldn’t recommend letting yourself study for more than one hour at a time however.
Journaling about your procrastination habits can help you identify triggers and develop strategies to overcome them. For example, if you find yourself procrastinating when faced with a difficult task, you could break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. By doing this, you can build momentum and gain a sense of accomplishment as you complete each step, which can help motivate you to continue working.
Time blocking is another effective technique for combating procrastination. To use this technique, you can break up your day into specific time slots and dedicate each slot to a specific task. For instance, you could block out two hours for writing a report, followed by a 30-minute break, then another two-hour block for responding to emails. This can help you stay focused and prevent distractions from derailing your progress. By scheduling specific tasks at specific times, you can create a sense of urgency and hold yourself accountable for completing them.
Both journaling and time blocking work by helping you stay organized and focused on your goals. By identifying the triggers that lead to procrastination and breaking your day into manageable tasks, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed and build the momentum you need to achieve your goals. Additionally, these techniques can help you develop a sense of control over your time and reduce the anxiety and stress that often accompany procrastination.
"Eat your frogs first" is a technique that involves tackling your most difficult or unpleasant task first thing in the morning when your willpower is at its strongest. This technique is effective because it helps to build momentum and make the rest of your day feel more manageable.
For example, if you have a project that you've been dreading, start your day by working on it for an hour or two. By doing so, you'll be able to make significant progress and feel a sense of accomplishment that will carry you through the rest of your day. Alternatively, if you have a difficult conversation that you've been putting off, schedule it for the beginning of your day when you're most alert and focused.
Another example of this technique in action is a writer who starts their day by writing their most challenging section first, such as the introduction or conclusion. By doing so, they build momentum and gain confidence that they can complete the rest of their work.
Overall, eating your frogs first is an effective technique because it helps you to break through procrastination and build momentum towards your goals. By tackling your most difficult or unpleasant task first, you'll be able to make progress and build confidence that will carry you through the rest of your day.
To effectively remove environmental triggers that lead to procrastination, you can take a few concrete steps. For example, if you find yourself constantly checking your phone when you should be studying, you can put your phone in another room or turn off notifications during your study sessions. Another example is to create a designated study space that is free from distractions, such as a library or a quiet room in your house. This can help you stay focused and avoid interruptions. Additionally, you can make your environment clean and organized by removing clutter and creating a clear workspace. This can help you feel more motivated and focused on your goals.
The reason this technique works is that it helps reduce the distractions that can lead to procrastination. By removing environmental triggers, you are creating an environment that is conducive to studying and learning. This can help you stay focused on your tasks and avoid the temptations that can derail your progress. Additionally, by creating a clean and organized workspace, you are signaling to your brain that it is time to focus and be productive. This can help you get into the right mindset for learning and studying.
In summary, beating procrastination is all about understanding the habit loop, pomodoro, identifying your triggers, and developing strategies to override them. By using techniques like journaling, time blocking, and eating your frogs first, you can stay focused and make progress towards your learning goals. So the next time you find yourself procrastinating, remember that you have the power to take control of your habits and achieve your dreams. Your brain will thank you for it!

Lifestyle Choices That Improve Memory

Now that we've covered some techniques for learning more deeply and efficiently, let's talk about some lifestyle choices that can help improve your memory even further. These tips are designed to help you take care of your brain and optimize its performance, so that you can learn and remember more effectively.

Exercise

Exercise has been shown to have numerous benefits for brain health and cognitive function, including improved memory. But how exactly does exercise help improve memory? One theory is that exercise increases blood flow and oxygen to the brain, which helps to nourish brain cells and promote the growth of new neurons. Additionally, exercise has been shown to increase the production of certain chemicals in the brain, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which is important for the growth and survival of neurons.
To effectively use exercise to improve memory, it's important to engage in cardiovascular exercise that gets your heart rate up and increases blood flow to the brain. This can include activities such as running, cycling, swimming, or brisk walking. It's also important to make exercise a regular part of your routine. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week.
Finally, it's important to stay motivated and make exercise a fun and enjoyable part of your routine. Find activities that you enjoy and that you look forward to, and try to make exercise a social activity by finding a workout buddy or joining a group fitness class. By making exercise a regular and enjoyable part of your routine, you can reap the many benefits it has to offer for both your body and your brain.

Meditation

Meditation is a powerful tool for improving memory and cognitive function. This ancient practice has been used for centuries to help people calm their minds and improve their focus. Recent research has shown that meditation can actually change the structure of the brain, improving memory and attention span. To effectively use this technique, start by finding a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor, with your back straight and your eyes closed. Focus on your breath and try to clear your mind of all other thoughts. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath. Start with just a few minutes each day and gradually increase the time as you become more comfortable with the practice.
One reason why meditation can improve memory is that it helps reduce stress and anxiety, which are known to impair memory function. Additionally, meditation can increase the size of the hippocampus, the part of the brain that is critical for memory and learning. This can lead to better memory consolidation and recall.
To illustrate the effectiveness of meditation for memory improvement, a study conducted by researchers at the University of California, Santa Barbara found that participants who meditated for just 10 minutes a day for two weeks showed significant improvements in working memory and executive function compared to a control group. Another study published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease found that a mindfulness meditation program improved memory, attention, and cognitive flexibility in older adults with mild cognitive impairment.
In conclusion, meditation is a simple yet powerful technique for improving memory and cognitive function. By reducing stress and anxiety, increasing the size of the hippocampus, and improving memory consolidation and recall, meditation can help you reach your learning goals and achieve success.

Brain-Boosting Foods

Eating certain foods can promote brain health and improve memory. For example, blueberries are high in antioxidants that protect brain cells from damage and inflammation, while salmon is rich in omega-3 fatty acids that support brain function and improve memory. Nuts, such as almonds and walnuts, contain vitamin E that helps prevent cognitive decline and enhance memory recall. Additionally, dark chocolate contains flavonoids that improve blood flow to the brain, which can boost cognitive function.
These brain-boosting foods work by providing essential nutrients that nourish the brain and promote the growth of new neurons. Antioxidants, for example, protect the brain from damage and inflammation caused by free radicals, which are unstable molecules that can damage cells. Omega-3 fatty acids, on the other hand, are important for brain function and can improve memory by supporting the growth of new neurons and enhancing communication between brain cells. Vitamin E acts as an antioxidant and can help prevent cognitive decline by protecting the brain from damage. Finally, flavonoids in dark chocolate can improve blood flow to the brain, which can boost cognitive function.
To effectively use this technique, it is important to incorporate brain-boosting foods into your diet regularly. Snack on a handful of almonds or blueberries, include salmon in your meals, and indulge in a square of dark chocolate every now and then. It is also important to maintain a balanced and healthy diet overall and to exercise regularly, as physical activity has been linked to improved brain function and memory.

Sleep

Getting enough sleep is crucial for memory consolidation and cognitive function. To effectively use this technique, it's important to establish a regular sleep schedule and aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Avoiding caffeine and screens before bedtime and creating a relaxing sleep environment can also help you fall asleep more easily.
One concrete example of how to incorporate this technique into your routine is to set a specific bedtime and wake-up time, and stick to it every day. This will help regulate your body's internal clock and make it easier to fall asleep and wake up at the same time each day. Another example is to avoid stimulating activities before bedtime, such as watching TV or using electronic devices, which can interfere with your ability to fall asleep.
The reason why sleep is so important for memory consolidation is that during sleep, the brain processes and consolidates memories, making it easier to remember what you've learned and make connections between different pieces of information. Additionally, getting enough sleep can improve cognitive function, including attention, problem-solving, and decision-making abilities. In contrast, not getting enough sleep can lead to fatigue, poor memory retention, and decreased cognitive function.

Other Lifestyle Changes

Adding new activities to your routine can be a great way to improve your memory and cognitive function. In fact, there are numerous activities that can be beneficial for your brain health and cognitive abilities.
For example, playing chess is a popular activity that can help to improve your problem-solving skills and strategic thinking abilities. It is a game that requires you to think ahead and anticipate your opponent's moves, which can help to challenge your brain in new ways. Similarly, learning a new instrument can be a great way to challenge your brain and promote the growth of new neurons. It requires you to learn new skills, such as reading music, playing different chords, and developing your sense of rhythm. All of these skills can help to stimulate your brain and improve cognitive function.
In summary, by making some simple lifestyle changes, you can improve your memory and cognitive function. Exercise, meditation, brain-boosting foods, sleep, and other activities can all help to promote brain health and improve memory. So, take care of your brain, and it will take care of you!

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. Our 3-year relationship has been on and off with issues not related to the emotional “cheating” (commitment issues on his side). There’s a lot to this but I’ll try and be concise.
We met 3 years ago and he is the most loving, affectionate man I have ever met. He made me feel so loved. He made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. In short, he made me feel so secure in his affections. There was no one else more beautiful in his eyes but me. All throughout our relationship he always tells me the last time he was in love this much was 20 years ago—let’s call her Sheila.
In the span of that 20 years he’s had a few more girlfriends and even married. Now I am not a jealous person. If a beautiful woman walk down the street and he happens to look, I really don’t care. Again, I was very secure because he made me feel so loved. He’s mentioned before that he’s still friends with one of his exes, who’s now married and live in another country. She’s from the last 20 years (not Shelia) so I did not care about her. To me, everyone from the last 20 years are no big deal, he didn’t love them. In one of our arguments he mentioned that he is still in contact with Sheila (did not mention this to me before) which made my ears perked up. Now Sheila was special, she was the one, the one he loved as much as me. Of course I’m interested in her. He assured me there was nothing to worry about, that he is so proud to say he’s been faithful to me in thoughts and deed. Of course I did not believe him.
I happen to know his Netflix password as he used to share his Netflix with me. He also said it’s his password to everything. I am not proud but I logged in to his email and looked for emails between him and Sheila. I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I’m sure it’s my fault for snooping but I’d rather know than being made a fool of. While they were not conducting an online relationship as far as I can see, it was clear Sheila is still in love with him and he was, or is, keeping her on the hook. He mentioned to her that he is “seeing someone”, not “I am in a committed relationship and I love my girlfriend very much so whatever feelings you are harbouring you might wanna give up on that”. Nope, I was relegated to “seeing someone”, that’s it.
They started emailing each other 6 months into our relationship, a time when we were so happy. He told her he had always thought about her during the last 20 years. We just came back from a romantic trip to Venice, we were on a high, so in love and so happy, and yet 2 days later he was emailing his ex-girlfriend, telling her how he will always be there for her, that she will always mean more to him (than a friend), and she should have expectations that he will always be there on the other side of the phone if she needed him (she was going through some things at this point). They carried on emailing until June 2021, where it stopped as they started talking on the phone and most likely What’sApp instead so I don’t know what was said between them since then.
I don’t blame Sheila. He was the one in a relationship and he never told her the extent of that relationship, probably to spare her pain, but never thinking about me. I confronted him and he insists he was not emotionally cheating, that she was just a friend, that signing his emails with “All my love, Axxx” was just him being kind.
Now Reddit, tell me, was he emotionally cheating? I know he was but I’d like an outside opinion. Yes I was wrong to snoop but I don’t regret it. I had legitimate reason to.

Feels like a very silly thing to post, but I’ve got nothing to lose here lol.
Here’s the situation: I’m at a bar (25M) with a guy friend (24M). We’re hanging out playing darts. Both very competitive so the game got a little rowdy, but we’re having a great time.
There was another dart board right next to ours. A couple there playing their own game. The girl and the guy with her both looked about my age, maybe the guy was a few years older.
I’d been at the beach with family most of the day so I’m dressed pretty much like an asshole. Sleeveless tank top on, dark shades indoors, baseball cap, basketball shorts. Really not expecting anyone to approach me like this.
Pretty soon into our game the girl comes over and smiles at me and asks about our dart game. We start chatting, I notice she’s incredibly gorgeous. She had a strong resemblance to Shakira. The guy she’s with looked like a poor man’s Paul Rudd LOL.
Throughout the night she’d try and make little jokes and references with the guy and he wouldn’t get it. Then I’d chime in laughing or showing I’m on the same page. She came over to our game a 3-4 more times and we talked about music and our hometowns and we found out our apartments are maybe 2min from each other. As we’re talking, completely out of nowhere she grabbed my left bicep and squeezed it… her guy is off to the side just like awkwardly waiting for her to come back so out of respect I’m trying not to flirt too obviously… but she then grabs my other bicep and squeezes it with no explanation lmao.
This entire night whenever I’d try and make solo convo with the girl the guy she was with would come up behind her and hold her like showing me “hey she’s mine, bro.” I waited for a moment to exchange contacts with her once the guy went to the bathroom or something but he just wouldn’t leave LOL. I know going after someone else’s partner is a gross despicable thing to do. But in my defense it was REALLY hard to see the connection they had. They shared nothing in common (that I overheard) and for the most part she initiated with me!
Am I delusional or did this incredibly hot stranger at the dart board have a lil crush on me?

<< FIRST
< PREVIOUS
Hello, spacers!
On this episode: a post-apocalypse shuttle tour, a look at the latest in Earth tourism fashion trends, and a bit of paperwork- …though with some juicy details to be found within. ;)
As always, I hope you enjoy. :)
——
As Y’ggdrasog helped Kate move both herself in microgravity and what little luggage they had packed from his ship to the shuttle, she found herself surrounded by dozens of Collective aliens who only had eyes (where applicable) for her. As he helped her to her seat and got her strapped in, she leaned toward Y’ggdrasog and whispered to him.
“Y’know, I might find all this staring flattering if I had a bit more self-esteem. As-is, it’s just creepy…”
He chuckled as he strapped himself in beside her.
<“In their defense, they’ve never seen a human in person before now.”>
Kate was about to respond when she saw something move out of the corner of her eye, and glanced up. An alien, one of the armadillo-octopus looking ones like Zapaht-Toh- a spaxar-tickoss, she reminded herself- was leaning over her seat from the aisle behind her. They stared down at her as one would stare at an unusual bug under a rock.
Kate slowly raised an eyebrow.
“…Can I, um… help you…?”
<“Sorry to bother you, I just had a quick question; is it true that you humans have an organ inside you that’s full of extremely corrosive acid?”>
Kate’s eyes narrowed in confusion.
“Yeah, that’d be the stomach. A lot of species on Earth have them. …Why?”
The alien dropped back down into their own seat without answering, but Kate could hear them whisper to the alien sitting next to them.
<“Told you! You owe me five credits.”>
Kate shook her head in bemusement as she heard the one the alien was whispering to sheepishly grumbling to themselves. She turned to Y’ggdrasog to see him only just barely holding in his snickering at the exchange.
“This is probably close to what being an animal in a zoo is like. Well, if the animals could talk, and did Q and A sessions, and- …alright, maybe it’s not really much like it, but-”
There came a small crackle over the speakers, sending her train of thought careening off the tracks.
<“We are now preparing to depart for the surface. Keep yourselves strapped in for the entirety of the descent. Descent beginning in three… two… one.”>
And with that, the shuttle lurched as it turned and slowly began to accelerate towards the planet below.
Kate rarely stopped staring out the shuttle windows at the tortured landscape of her planet as the ship descended. She had seen plenty of smoke in the atmosphere and the occasional wildfire from Y’ggdrasog’s ship, but it was another thing entirely to view it all from this close. The ashen remains of past forest fires. The veritable seas of rubble where towns and cities once stood. Highway after highway of derelict vehicles. The occasional roof with things like “HELP,” “OUT OF WATER,” “PLEASE SAVE MY CHILDREN” or “WE ARE DEAD AND THIS IS HELL” painted on them.
It was like watching a disaster play out before your eyes that you’re powerless to stop. A train wreck in the distance, when you’re out of reach of a track-switch to pull to prevent it. A pedestrian too far from you to push out of the way before they’re hit by a car. You can’t stop it, but you can’t seem to drag your gaze away either.
She only realized she had started crying when Y’ggdrasog nudged her, holding out the familiar cylindrical container of silk tissues that she accepted with a grateful nod. He gently put his hand on her good shoulder.
<”The Collective can fix this. It might take years, but we can.”>
Kate glanced at him as she dabbed away the tears.
“Can you guys bring back all the people who died?”
Y’ggdrasog merely remained silent.
Kate pursed her lips.
“Then you can’t fix it, can you? …No one can.”
<”...It is true, we can’t bring back those who were lost. But we can still do our utmost to rebuild, and help those who remain.”>
“At this point, is it even worth rebuilding it? Helping us?”
Y’ggdrasog winced at the bitterness in her voice.
<“…If you truly thought it wasn’t, would you have agreed to come down here?”>
Kate stared at him for a few more seconds before a small smile finally cracked through the emotionally exhausted look on her face.
“…You always know just what to say to pull me back from my bad thoughts, you know that?”
J’Ffrane’s disembodied head floated into view from their seat behind the pair of them.
<“What can I say? He had a simply marvelous teacher.”>
This spurred Kate to laughter, finally banishing her sour mood, if only for a time.
——
As the shuttle touched down, Kate zipped up her jacket and put on the beanie cap Y’ggdrasog had fabricated at her request. The same gray as her Giger-esque jacket, the cap was an artificial wool weaved so tightly together that it retained all the benefits of wool without any of the itchiness associated with it. She turned to see that Y’ggdrasog has just finished struggling his way into-
“…Yiggy, what are those?”
He glanced up at her as he finished fastening the last strap.
<“Just my shoes. …Or at least the closest thing to them I can wear to protect my feet from the cold, anyway. I just wish they weren’t such a hassle to put on and take off…”>
It was all Kate could do to keep herself from bursting into laughter as she stared down at the footwear. For all intents and purposes, they resembled the feet of a duck, albeit a grossly oversized duck with an extra toe in the back. A thin membrane extended between each of his forward talons, presumably to retain warmth between them like a mitten would for fingers, and to top it all off they were made of some shiny, bright orange material.
Y’ggdrasog’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as Kate averted her own gaze, trying and failing to hide her smile as she only just barely continued to suppress her laughter.
<“…What’s so funny?”>
“Uh- well, it’s just that, um… N-nevermind, it’s not important…”
If anything, his eyes only narrowed further as his suspicion reached its zenith, but he had other things to attend to.
<“…Right then.”>
With that, he pulled his own jacket out of his carry-on, and-
With her defenses already weakened, Kate couldn’t hold back an amused snort, much to Y’ggdrasog’s chagrin.
<“Oh, what is it now?!”>
“I- *snrk* …I’m sorry, but that is by far the single ugliest jacket I’ve ever seen…”
Y’ggrasog looked down at the pink, orange, yellow and green (all bright neon) crime against fashion he had fabricated, and winced.
<“…Is it really that bad? I only really had visibility in mind when making it, in case I were to get lost in one of these “blizzards” I’ve read about.”>
“On that front, you are 100% good to go. You’re probably going to be visible from space. I just- …nevermind. Maybe it’ll grow on me.”
As Y’ggdrasog put the jacket on and zipped it up, he looked down at his now-covered chest with disdain and let out a reluctant sigh.
<“Ugh… I know I’ve made fun of lumigogs who never cover up, but I can’t remember the last time I wore anything over my sacs. It just feels so weird! …Still, I guess it can’t be helped...”>
“Oh, chin up Yiggy. You’re a big boy, you can do this.”
<“Doesn’t mean I have to like it. …Now, where did I put those zip-up leggings…”>
As Y’ggdrasog finally finished bundling up, the shuttle came to a stop and parked. The pilot- a large but squat alien in an orange uniform that resembled what would happen if you were to somehow take a malformed gorilla with dwarfism, graft the skin of a rhinoceros onto it, and then give it some steroids for good measure- addressed them one last time.
<“Alright everyone, remember: make sure to always mask up whatever body parts you need to when you’re outside to protect your internal organs, always clean off your clothing before entering any occupied enclosed space to prevent potential radioactive contamination, and most of all, always be on your best behavior!
Each and every one of you represent the Collective, and the governing powers of this particular planetary territory have extended to us the ENORMOUS privilege of allowing us on their homeworld when they are at their most vulnerable. We do not want to give them a reason to regret it! Got it? …Good.
…Now get off my shuttle already. I have twenty more rounds of volunteers to bring to various territories today alone.”>
As Kate and the rest of the first round of volunteers made their way down the shuttle’s exit ramp, she winced at the sudden drop in temperature that brought the occasional snow flurry with it as they exited the controlled climate of the ship and entered the crisp, late-autumn air. Suddenly, she heard a sharp intake of breath from beside her.
<“SPIRITS! How can you people survive in these conditions?!”>
She turned to see Y’ggdrasog clutching his coat closer to himself, his mandibles chittering together under the translucent face mask they had both been issued to protect themselves from fallout. Kate couldn’t help but grin under her own mask at his reaction to the chill.
“Oh don’t worry, it gets much worse from here on out. …In a couple months, you’ll be wishing it were only as cold as it is now.”
<“Ugh… forget the taboo, remind me to print another three coats or so. Maybe then I won’t worry that my algal sacs might crystallize before my very eyes!”>
As they continued down the ramp, Kate looked around at the flurry of activity around them on the runway they had landed on. The vast majority of it was human, but she recognized a few aliens amidst the crowd. …It was hard not to, when almost every human around was giving them a wide berth.
Suddenly, one such alien began to approach them, alongside a human in a military uniform. Kate struggled to hold back her laughter at the alien’s appearance. It seemed as though the Collective contained a species that, against all odds, resembled a stork of all things, albeit with a large blue cranial crest not unlike that of a rooster, and thicker legs that small hand-like appendages instead of feet- opposable thumbs and all. They were wearing a sleek blue uniform alongside several bags hung about their body at seemingly random intervals.
The alien’s auto-translated voice was bright and cheery as they met the new arrivals.
<“Greetings! You must be the first of the rounds of volunteers coming planetside, correct?”>
Kate nodded as the aliens around her made similar gestures or noises of automation.
“Yeah, that’s us.”
The alien’s feathers ruffled slightly in mirth, and the man in the military uniform looked at her with a cold, unamused gaze before speaking.
“Sorry, ma’am, he was talking to the Collective representatives here.”
Kate’s brow furrowed in confusion.
“What?”
“The Collective agents that just came from orbit. He was addressing them. If you’d step aside, maybe head back to whatever group you’re with…?”
“…But I did just come from orbit.”
The bird-like alien laughed (a sound like that of a songbird’s call) before he saw Kate’s expression.
“I’m not a refugee. I came down with Yiggy here-“
<“Y’ggdrasog,”> he hastily corrected her whilst internally cringing. <“My name is Y’ggdrasog, and I can attest that she was aboard my ship for a time.”>
The uniformed man’s eyebrows shot up like rockets in surprise, and the bird-like alien’s feathers puffed out a bit in shock before he found his voice.
<“…It seems a few details of this group were left out of my dossier! I suppose apologies are in order for the misunderstanding. …If I might inquire, how did a human end up-“>
Kate interrupted them with a dismissive gesture.
“It’s a very, very long story. Could we just focus on what we’re supposed to be doing down here?”
The stork alien clearly wanted to ask a million questions or so, but simply nodded.
<“Right, sorry, I just wasn’t expecting- …sorry. Anyway, my name is Migtryl, a member of the Collective’s diplomatic branch. And this is Jack-”>
“Senior Airman Jack,” Jack clarified. Migtryl’s feathers puffed up a bit in embarrassment at this.
<“Ah, yes, right, sorry. I’ll still getting used to this weird ranking system you all use- er, no offense. …Anyway, right this way, we need to get you all registered.”>
Jack nodded and tagged behind Migtryl as the alien led the group over to a nearby tent and began rifling through a set of filing cabinets inside. As he waited for Migtryl to finish up, he turned back to the group.
“We have to be very thorough about keeping track of everyone here, be they human refugees or Collective volunteers. Names, faces, what group they’re part of, if they have any special dietary or medical needs, that sort of thing. It affects everything from how we distribute rations to sending out a search party or two in the event that anyone were to go missing from the fort.”
Kate cocked an eyebrow.
“How often does that happen?”
“More often than I’d like. Usually it’s just people getting delayed on their way back from scavenging runs, or someone going for a walk and getting lost. Other times, well…”
He pursed his lips, and his next words were somber in tone.
“…There’s one less mouth to feed.”
An awkward silence ensued for a few seconds before Migtryl came back bearing a holo-tablet.
<“Right, this should only take a few minutes. Just pass the tablet around.”>
He went to hand the tablet to Kate, but she motioned to her broken arm.
“Uh… do you have a table or something around here I could set it on? I can’t hold it and write at the same-”>
<“Ah, not to worry, not to worry. I’ll just hold it for you!”>
Kate went to protest, but closed her mouth and let out a defeated sigh, averting eye contact.
“Fine…”
Migtryl balanced on one leg and held out the tablet for her with the other. As Kate activated her visor and began to fill in the various blank portions of the interface with her good hand, Y’ggdrasog peered over her shoulder- hard not to, when one only had to glance down to do so at his height.
<““Katherine Alba Olson-Davis?””>
Kate took a break from filling in the blanks to swat him on the arm quite a bit harder than the more playful ones before now (though he still barely felt it), earning a rather concerned glance from Migtryl. Her next words to Y’ggdrasog came as a harsh, VERY irritated whisper.
“Do not call me that. I’m Kate. Not Katherine, and DEFINITELY not my full name!”
As she finished up writing and Migtryl passed Y’ggdrasog the tablet, he saw the familiar sight of Kate’s good hand going to clutch her nanite cast. He connected the mental dots with ease.
After filling his information in and passing the tablet to the next person, he turned to Kate.
<“…Your parents called you Katherine, didn’t they?”>
She bristled at his words.
“For the love of- …Yiggy, I’m warning you-”
<“Ok, ok! I’ll drop it. …Sorry…”>
As the last of the group finished, Migtryl bobbed his head up and down in approval.
<“Excellent! Now, if you’ll all follow behind us, we’ll lead the way to the fort.”>
With that, he turned and began hopping along towards the edge of the base with Jack in tow.

I was in a relationship for 2 years with a girl I thought was going to marry me. We both towards the end of our relationship finished up college and had planned some things out. She got a job over the summer that I was reluctant of and I know I should've been fully on board from the get go, however, she ended up cheating on me with a coworker from that job and ended up blaming me for many different things (most of which l've reflected on and agree with her on) and she broke things off and it was nasty and hurtful on both sides. I haven't talked to her since, nor have I tried messaging her or anyone she knows, but it's been a year now, and I've not had one day that I don't think about her and miss her. She's lived out some of her lifelong dreams since splitting and really grown as a person I've seen recently in social media. I just decided to search her up out of curiosity the other day and I saw that she unblocked me. Previously, post-breakup, all social media she blocked me (I assume to hide that she left me for another man, and probably also to make it easier to get me out of each others life, and I get it), however, now that I can see posts and profiles and such, I just have to wonder why? Why all of a sudden am I allowed to see things when I couldn't all this time before? Do the "blockings" expire? Or did she go in and specifically unblock me on things, and if so what does that mean? Should I reach out to her? Should I forget it and move on I would rather make amends)? I almost feel like if I were to reach out, it wouldn't go well and she'd be upset I reach out, but if she unblocked me maybe that's a hint at something? Friends? More, as we previously were?? Somebody please help me.

I was in a relationship for 2 years with a girl I thought was going to marry me. We both towards the end of our relationship finished up college and had planned some things out. She got a job over the summer that I was reluctant of and I know I should've been fully on board from the get go, however, she ended up cheating on me with a coworker from that job and ended up blaming me for many different things (most of which l've reflected on and agree with her on) and she broke things off and it was nasty and hurtful on both sides. I haven't talked to her since, nor have I tried messaging her or anyone she knows, but it's been a year now, and I've not had one day that I don't think about her and miss her. She's lived out some of her lifelong dreams since splitting and really grown as a person I've seen recently in social media. I just decided to search her up out of curiosity the other day and I saw that she unblocked me. Previously, post-breakup, all social media she blocked me (I assume to hide that she left me for another man, and probably also to make it easier to get me out of each others life, and I get it), however, now that I can see posts and profiles and such, I just have to wonder why. Why all of a sudden am I allowed to see things when I couldn't all this time before? Do the "blockings" expire, or did she go in and specifically unblock me on things, and if so what does that mean? Should I reach out to her or should I forget it and move on (I would rather make amends). I almost feel like if I were to reach out, it wouldn't go well and she'd be upset I reach out after waiting so long, but if she just unblocked me maybe that's a hint at something else. Friends perhaps. More, as we previously were, I could only hope for. Somebody please help me.

I (23f) have been with my (now ex) boyfriend (26m) for 3 years on June 9th. Things started going downhill last January/February whenever I found out he was breaking our lease and moving away on his own. I had went to him one weekend, telling him I wanted us to move to the closest city so we can start to build the life we want. He’s lived all over the place, whereas I’ve only lived in the same small town and felt as though it was time for a change. By this point, he had already bought a ring and planned on marrying me so his response was that we should stay and save for the wedding. I was content with that, thinking we’d stay until we were married and could move together; however, the very next week he had left apartment listings for this city up on his computer. I brought it up and he told me— yes, he changed his mind and wanted to move…. But wanted to move alone. It caused a huge fight between us and he told me he didn’t want to get married anymore. I just couldn’t understand why he changed his mind and why I wasn’t a part of his plan. That night, he went to the local bar and got a girls Snapchat and had been talking to her. I didn’t find out until weeks later when we went to tour apartments in this city and she messaged him at 1:30 at night (he refused to open it and lied about what she actually said. She was moving to the same city and asked if he wanted to hang out). By May, he had moved and I was forced to move back into my parents with the dog we got together. I later moved to the same city, thinking “this was what I wanted originally, so why should I change my plans because he did what he did”. Silly maybe. For the next year to present day, I have felt neglected in almost every way. He began hanging out with new friends (including other women), he quit inviting me around his friends, he stopped posting me and posting more of the women and friends he was with, and even began talking and hanging out with other girls I had never met (but he swears it was platonically and never 1-on-1.. which wasn’t always true). EVERYTHING changed. I became very unhappy with him but wanted to stay because I truly love this man. Within the last two to three months, I’ve been voicing my feelings more. I started therapy and medication for depression and anxiety and began learning how to communicate healthily (though I’m still not perfect at it, I’ve made progress). A lot of times, he would dismiss my feelings or literally say “I’m under a lot of stress. Let’s not do this. Please just be happy”. I finally told him I was feeling done with us, so for the last few weeks he has tried to be better. Occasionally inviting me out and finally taking me on a few dates again. But by this point, I’m at my wits end. I’m stuck in fight or flight and am so easily triggered by everything he does. I can’t forgive him. Literally every conversation seems to end in a fight because I can’t contain my emotions.. and now I feel like there’s something wrong with me. He’s actually starting to treat me right, so why can’t I accept it? We ended things last night on pretty bad terms and I think I went into crisis mode. Other than him, I have been dealing with so many things in my personal life— I just lost my grandma, my boss is leaving so I’m taking more responsibilities at work, I’m also trying to save to move again July, amongst other things. Im embarrassed to admit but I actually called the hotline last night because I’m so tired of this life.
Anyway, all of that to ask for this advice:
For those of you who have been in a pretty tough relationship and it ended on bad terms, what are some things that helped you heal and move on? How do I find myself again? I feel so hurt and lost and angry at myself for so many things. I don’t foresee myself feeling better about this situation for a long time… and I know this isn’t the case necessarily, but I feel like my hurt emotions and inability to forgive ruined everything.
Any advice on how to proceed and bring myself peace is greatly appreciated.
Tl;Dr — my rocky relationship came to an end. How do I find peace?

I (23f) have been with my (now ex) boyfriend (26m) for 3 years on June 9th. Things started going downhill last January/February whenever I found out he was breaking our lease and moving away on his own. I had went to him one weekend, telling him I wanted us to move to the closest city so we can start to build the life we want. He’s lived all over the place, whereas I’ve only lived in the same small town and felt as though it was time for a change. By this point, he had already bought a ring and planned on marrying me so his response was that we should stay and save for the wedding. I was content with that, thinking we’d stay until we were married and could move together; however, the very next week he had left apartment listings for this city up on his computer. I brought it up and he told me— yes, he changed his mind and wanted to move…. But wanted to move alone. It caused a huge fight between us and he told me he didn’t want to get married anymore. I just couldn’t understand why he changed his mind and why I wasn’t a part of his plan. That night, he went to the local bar and got a girls Snapchat and had been talking to her. I didn’t find out until weeks later when we went to tour apartments in this city and she messaged him at 1:30 at night (he refused to open it and lied about what she actually said. She was moving to the same city and asked if he wanted to hang out). By May, he had moved and I was forced to move back into my parents with the dog we got together. I later moved to the same city, thinking “this was what I wanted originally, so why should I change my plans because he did what he did”. Silly maybe. For the next year to present day, I have felt neglected in almost every way. He began hanging out with new friends (including other women), he quit inviting me around his friends, he stopped posting me and posting more of the women and friends he was with, and even began talking and hanging out with other girls I had never met (but he swears it was platonically and never 1-on-1.. which wasn’t always true). EVERYTHING changed. I became very unhappy with him but wanted to stay because I truly love this man. Within the last two to three months, I’ve been voicing my feelings more. I started therapy and medication for depression and anxiety and began learning how to communicate healthily (though I’m still not perfect at it, I’ve made progress). A lot of times, he would dismiss my feelings or literally say “I’m under a lot of stress. Let’s not do this. Please just be happy”. I finally told him I was feeling done with us, so for the last few weeks he has tried to be better. Occasionally inviting me out and finally taking me on a few dates again. But by this point, I’m at my wits end. I’m stuck in fight or flight and am so easily triggered by everything he does. I can’t forgive him. Literally every conversation seems to end in a fight because I can’t contain my emotions.. and now I feel like there’s something wrong with me. He’s actually starting to treat me right, so why can’t I accept it? We ended things last night on pretty bad terms and I think I went into crisis mode. Other than him, I have been dealing with so many things in my personal life— I just lost my grandma, my boss is leaving so I’m taking more responsibilities at work, I’m also trying to save to move again July, amongst other things. Im embarrassed to admit but I actually called the hotline last night because I’m so tired of this life.
Anyway, all of that to ask for this advice:
For those of you who have been in a pretty tough relationship and it ended on bad terms, what are some things that helped you heal and move on? How do I find myself again? I feel so hurt and lost and angry at myself for so many things. I don’t foresee myself feeling better about this situation for a long time… and I know this isn’t the case necessarily, but I feel like my hurt emotions and inability to forgive ruined everything.
Any advice on how to proceed and bring myself peace is greatly appreciated.
Tl;Dr — my rocky relationship came to an end. How do I find peace?

I 23F and my boyfriend 25M, who I'll call "H" have been together for just over a year. We are currently in the process of moving in together. Everything in our relationship has been so easy, I was reluctant to trust at the start of the relationship due to past experiences being hurt and felt like the men I dated didn't want to commit to me. Then I met H. He was the nicest man I'd ever met, he does everything for me. He has a steady job and a great relationship with his family, where I have a steady job but an extremely strained relationship with my family. We rarely argue but if we do, it's spoken about calmly, he listens and we work through things together and we don't go to sleep until we have resolved our issues. He is perfect in every way and I knew in my mind that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. If I'm hungry at 1am and there's no food in the house, he'll go out and get me some, if I can't sleep, he'll stay up and talk to me or play games with me that will make me sleepy and wait till I drift off. Due to issues with my family I stress a lot and he's always happy to listen for hours on end to me venting and crying. We also have a very healthy bedroom life. Everything was perfect. However lately he has been dropping hints about proposing, and it's made me start to pick apart his behaviour and analyse everything about how we interact. I'm vomiting from the anxiety and my appetite has gone. I've never felt anxiety like this. I don't know whether I am self sabotaging due to past experiences or maybe thinking I don't deserve this. Would asking to hold off on marriage be unreasonable?

My dad was a horrible father when I was growing up. I always like to make fun of him whenever he talks about how my mom and him tried for a boy but got 2 more girls instead. I like to think God keeled over, cackled and said, “Silly Josh.” Always in life he complained how it felt like the world was against him and he could never win. Now I think to myself, “Sir you are a white man, you’re playing the goddamned game wrong.” He always bitched and complained about him having to pay child support for 4 girls (in reality it wasn’t that much) even though he had a very well paying job but at work or with family friends he would boast about how he had two sets of twins and how he’s such a wonderful father. I know about the work thing because my aunt on my mom’s side happened to work in the same company branch as him. He had horrible road rage and for some odd reason chose to be with and live with a woman that lived an hour away from where I lived so from the ages of 7-13 once a week on Wednesdays after school I would go straight home and quickly pack everything I needed for that night and what I would wear to the next day at school. And then every other weekend I would go to his and his girlfriend’s house. I rarely did anything fun when I was with him because he’s such a cheap ass but I do remember being taken advantage of to clean their big ass house (I hate brown granite and marble floors). I remember one year he took his girlfriend and her daughters on a cruise and even helped his girlfriend pay for her eldest daughter’s quince. I did hear from someone else that he tried proposing to her on the cruise and she rejected him. They did stay together for a few more years after that. I had just started 8th grade and found out that my dad and her separated. I was so happy and thought that I could spend more time with my dad this way. During the time he was single I found myself at my aunts house more often while he was doing God knows what when I was supposed to see him for visitation. About 2 years later, he meets a Mexican woman that lives in Costa Mesa on a visa on Tinder. Oh how wonderful I thought she was. She would buy me clothes and take us to fancy restaurants in Orange County and pretend she was my mother. I thought nothing of this and welcomed her but now I think, I don’t look anything like that fat oompaloompa bitch. She drove an E class Mercedes yet she shared a bed with her mother in a townhouse of a cat lady. My dad and her moved in with each other very quickly and then by the next year I had a baby sister at the age of 17. When I turned 18 my father and stepmother took me to a nice restaurant and when my dad was toasting my sister and I, he also toasted to the fact that he wouldn’t have to pay child support anymore. Free from the chains of having to fulfill visitation for 10 years, I stopped seeing him frequently. This offended him. He would throw at me that I had a baby sister and it’s not right that I’m not seeing her often. True, I do love her. But I’m not the one that had a baby, I had no control in having a younger sibling at the age of 17. If I could have it my way, I don’t think my dad should have had another child. But remember, Josh has always wanted a boy. So of course God choked on his spit, wheezed and said, “Silly Josh.” Last year my dad had me come over and blindsided me when he asked me to tell him why I resented him. I said fuck it and told him everything. He replied, “So that’s how you feel?” He said he was sorry I felt that way and acted like he was in disbelief. Ever since then my contact with my dad and stepmom has gone radio silent ever since she opened a bank letter of mine back in December and she attacked me for confronting her. I saw them at my cousin’s wedding and did not speak to them other than to say hello. He did approach me when I was sitting at my table, only to ask for a cigarette. I hesitated for a few moments and then he said he would buy me another pack since my two uncles pestered me for a cigarette as well. I thought to myself, how is it me the 23 year old girl at her second adult wedding more prepared than these men that have been to countless weddings. One uncle came to me again, drunk, asking for another cigarette saying, “I know how we don’t get along and talk that much,” I bowed my head and covered my hands with my face, disappointed that my premonition of people asking me for cigarettes came true. My sister was fucked up and said, “It might look like that in your head but we don’t feel that way at all.” I reached for my pack and opened it to find two cigarettes left. I originally had half of the pack. My uncle sees this and stops what he’s saying and says aww, probably expecting me to give him one. I shooed him away and said not today. My dad disappeared without a trace before I left so the next morning my sister reminded him to send me money. He replied, “I’ll send the money but next time I don’t want to hear static when I ask for a cigarette next time.” This angered me. If he thought he heard static from me then, he should look up what it sounds like in space. Remember Josh, God laughs when you cry.

So, Frieza vs Kaos, a matchup I'm really vibing with and that has quickly become my favorite for both, so it's only right I make a script for it right? I think this is my longest script yet as there was a lot I wanted to include in here, even if a good chunk of it can be dumbed down to "lasers" if you wanna do that lol (it's dragon ball, whatcha expect?) Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
We begin with a shot of the Skylands. Floating isles, hidden amongst a wafting of mist and fog high in the sky. Each was themed towards the different elements that power the land, its inhabitants and its defenders, the mighty Skylanders, however there was one location in particular reserved for the most rotten of them all. On the Cloudbreak Islands lay the Kaos Fortress, where the dark lord Kaos himself resides. In this fortress, Kaos sat on his large, comfortable chair, a chair that was realistically far too large for him to sit on. Standing next to him was his loyal right hand, a demure and lanky goblin man named Glumshanks, who held for Kaos a large strawberry milkshake that the dark lord was eagerly drinking. However, Kaos' drink was cut short by a new arrival.
Floating down from the clouds above was a large, circular ship, made of high tech materials and construction. The flagship of the Frieza Force, reserved for their own Mighty Lord, Frieza himself. The hatch at the top of the ship opened up, and out from within floated up the white and purple tyrant himself. Clearing his throat as his tail casually swished around behind him, Frieza seemed as though he was preparing for some sort of business meeting with how casual he seemed. Although, his words were far from as disarming as his actions. "Haha, residents of the Skylands, it has come to my attention that you exist. I tried to tell your Master Eon to kneel but the old man was delusional enough to deny me. And so I, the Mighty Lord Frieza, grant you the honor of being the first graveyard amongst the Skylands!" He announced, casually raising his finger up to the air, a small burning orb of fiery light formed at the tip of his finger, swelling into the form of his deadly Supernova attack. It grew until it eclipsed the fortress below, before Frieza pointed down at the ground below, intending to detonate the island like he did to Planet Vegeta. However, before the Big Bang could hit the ground, a crackling aura of purple energy surrounded the attack. The aura held the attack back and forced it to shrink, shrinking it smaller and smaller until it was the size of a mere soccer ball before it transmuted into a confused, seemingly traumatized sheep.
Kaos stepped out onto his balcony, with Glumshanks placing a large stepping stool out on the edge for his Lord to use to heighten himself. Handing Kaos a megaphone, Glumshanks stepped back and plugged his ears, preparing for the ear shattering speech to follow. "FOOL! You believe you get to rule the Skylands?? The Skylands belongs to me! The bringer of ultimate mega DOOM! LORD KAOS! GLUMSHANKS, TELL HIM," Kaos holds the megaphone down to Glumshanks mouth, and the monotone goblin spoke into it. "sigh, yeah, yeah he's right."
Frieza chuckled, amused by the defiant buffoon, as more Frieza Force ships begin to descend from the clouds, launching pods filled with Saibamen onto the fortress. Manning the walls of the Kaos Fortress, trolls began to mount onto cannons and turrets to blast at the pods, blasting a few out of the air but missing a precious few, which landed on the ground and released their Saibamen. The Saibamen started blasting holes through the walls of the Fortress, flooding into it's inner walls to take it from the inside, only to find Cyclopes and Spell Punks meeting them within. "Send the Ginyu Force!" Frieza commanded, cackling to himself as he watched his forces battle Kaos' down below and, as he commanded, the Ginyu Force landed on the Island, with their theme song playing as expected. In response Kaos screeched, "DOOMLANDERS! Don't just stand there, bring them their doom!!" As he instructed as well, the Doomlanders met the Ginyu Force on the field of battle.
The two groups would fight for a brief while, however soon enough the Doomlanders would emerge victorious. Kaos began to cheer for his victory, only to see a comet of purple energy hurtle towards the ground, slamming in the middle of the Doomlanders. Standing in the middle of the crater left behind was Frieza, the strength of his landing alone vaporizing the Doomlanders with the alien tyrant giving negative shits about it. He pointed up to Kaos, and a bright beam of purple light blasted from his finger towards the short portal master. Kaos narrowly leapt out of the way, with the beam blasting into the top of the fortress and blasting a hole through it's roof.
As Kaos began descending, he used a spell to make himself float as he bared down on Frieza, flying towards him as he threw balls of blue fire at the white and purple alien. Frieza sidestepped and ducked around them, charging forward at Kaos with an attack prepared for him. When Kaos got close, Frieza whipped him with his tail and sent Kaos flying towards the ground, cratering the ground below him. "Oww! That was rude! Glumshanks, bring me a bandaid!" He yelled, with his minion somehow understanding him even from so far away. Frieza landed down in front of Kaos, kicking him to the side to send him even further away, *right when Glumshanks reached the area with a comically large first aid kit in his hands,** causing the man to sigh as he realized how much more he'd have to run. Frieza floated over to Kaos, chuckling to himself.* "Interesting, you're being beaten to death and your crying over a boo-boo? I find you so pathetic that I'm tempted to let you live," Frieza teased, lifting Kaos up out of the ground and blasting him up into the air, blasting upwards into the sky to trail behind him. He blasted more and more rapid fire purple lasers, but Kaos was not outdone. Kaos teleported out of the air and back down to the ground, leaving Frieza confused until he looked back down to the ground, seeing Kaos mount up onto his supercharger that he got out of a portal he summoned. Igniting his superchargers engine, Kaos launched up into the air, now being the one to chase Frieza through the sky, sadly just as Glumshanks reached him again causing the poor servant to be launched back by the rocket boosters, sending the first aid kit out of his hands.
Frieza now started flying away from Kaos, with Kaos flying after him and blasting his own purple lasers at Frieza in the shape of rings, waves, lines and zig-zags, throwing Frieza off his game and causing him to be pelted by lasers at every turn, all while Kaos monologued behind him. "Stupid fool! You run away from your doom? From Kaos? You'll only lose tired… GLUMSHANKS! WHERE IS MY BANDAID?!" After a while, Frieza started to wisen up to the patterns of Kaos' blasts and began to deftly dodge them, annoying Kaos. Summoning another portal, Kaos pulled out one of his artifacts, a powerful red and gold gauntlet. The Iron Fist of Arkus. "You have annoyed me for long enough, Freezer!" Kaos said, his voice deep and distorted into that of a robot. Frieza's flight was halted as his tail was grabbed by Kaos, now in the form of a massive, powerful Arkeyan robot, his eyes glowing bright blue. "Unhand me you idio-" Frieza yelled before his words were cut off, with Kaos swinging Frieza down onto a nearby mountain, pulverizing it with the force of the impact, leaving Frieza in a massive crater in the ground. However, Kaos was not done. Leaping up into the air with his massive robot form, Kaos landed a comically large peoples-elbow on his opponent who was currently many times smaller than him. Standing back up to his feet, Kaos stomped down onto the crater multiple times, smashing Frieza further and further into the ground, before pointing his head down to blast a powerful beam of light out of his eyes down into the crater. "That's…ENOUGH!" Frieza cried out, a powerful burst of golden light dispersing the laser of the Arkeyan Kaos immediately as Frieza flew up to Kaos' head, landing a powerful punch into Kaos' chin in his now-golden form. Kaos was launched up into the sky but by the time his large, robotic frame was done flying up, Frieza was already behind him and pointing his finger forward, blasting repeated blasts of ki into his back, severing the gauntlet off of Kaos' robotic hand and reverting him back to his base form, showering the ground below in craters formed by Frieza's ki blasts, the ground being covered in a layer of smoke.
"Fool…FOOL! You DARE power up? ONLY I GET TO POWER UP!" Kaos whined, his voice growing distorted once again as he spoke. The smoke dispersed around him to reveal him in his Traptanium form, floating with a lower half made of Traptanium crystal and dark purple skin. He flew up to Frieza, blasting beams of purple energy at him as the two began to engage in a ranged air-skirmish. The two eventually get taken to melee, with Frieza kicking Kaos to the side where Kaos smacks into the screen, breaking it for a few seconds as he flies back into the fight again (cuz Traptanium Kaos breaks the fourth wall.) When Kaos flies back though, Frieza blasts Kaos back down to the ground, now following him to the ground and slowly, dramatically walking towards him. "This sparring session is getting less and less entertaining you buffoon," Frieza said.
"Master Kaos, I have your bandaid," Glumshanks said, running up in-between Frieza and Kaos desperately panting for breath, bandages spilling out of it and flapping in the wind like loose toilet paper. "Want a large one or a small one?" Glumshanks asked. Frieza rolled his eyes and pointed at the tall goblin man, Death Beam'ing him through the chest and causing Glumshanks to die, just like how Frieza killed Paragus. "Such a tragedy," Frieza mocked, before looking back at Kaos. Kaos however was…still. He wasn't screaming, he wasn't whining, he was just…angry. Very angry, and Frieza could tell. “So much for that blundering buffoonery! I did wonder when you would stop whini-“ Crackling purple light emanated from Kaos as his body bulked up and grew, cutting off Frieza's words. His muscles bulged and hulked out, metal armor covered his body, and his hair and eyes burned a bright, crackling blue…something that sparked a memory in the sadistic tyrant Frieza.
When the smoke clears fully, a familiar cackle, now deepened, can be heard as Kaos emerges in his Super State and begins charging a blast. "Your doom will be slow, Frieza!" Kaos threatened.
“That’s…that’s…” Frieza could barely force the words out of his mouth as a flash of memory crosses his mind…a memory of his second death, a familiar foe charging a similar blue blast.
“FRIEZAAAAA!!!!” Goku shouted in his memory
Cut back to reality, Frieza’s flashback distracting him long enough for him to take the blast in the gut, sending Frieza to the ground. As it dissolves…he begins fuming in rage.
“ANOTHER BLASTED!” Frieza punches the ground with each word. “STUPID!” Finally, rage overtakes him completely, in an ironic reference to the first transformation of the one who killed him in his cybernetic state, and he transforms into his Black form! “MONNNNKEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!!!” A powerful purple aura enveloped Frieza, his skin turning black and his eyes burning bright red. The two where now in their highest forms, and the fight would truly commence.
The two battled against one another in the air and on the ground, blasting waves of energy at eachother in varying shapes and sizes. Kaos summoned his Doom Sharks, sending a wave of chomping energy sharks at Frieza who dispatched them quickly with a series of blasts. Frieza tried to land a flurry of punches on Kaos, but Kaos summoned his large, energy construct Doom Hands to grab the alien racist by the tail and smash him down on the floor, opening him up to more and more blasts of chaotic energy from Super Kaos. However, Frieza wasn't done yet.
"I have had enough of this charade! Kaos, your end is now, and it only makes me more annoyed that I won't be able to savor your quick demise!" Frieza cried out, flying up into the sky and raising a hand to the air, a large ball of purple energy forming above him as he prepared a large, powerful Death Ball. "Kaos doesn't know defeat, Frieza! But you, you will know DOOM!" *Kaos shouted back in his deepened voice, raising his large Doom Hands as he prepared to catch the Death Ball. Frieza launched the ball, a wave of energy erupting from it as it collided with the Doom Hands…

FRIEZA WIN

The Death Ball barely overpowers the Doom Hands, blasting through them and colliding into Kaos. Kaos screamed out in pain, using his magic to try and contain it like he did to the Supernova previously, but it was too much. The raw power of the Death Ball caused rocks and pebbles to rise up from the ground, orbiting it like a star, with the sheep-supernova from earlier swirling around alongside them. Eventually though, Kaos accepted his own doom, reverting to his base form as his body disintegrated, shouting his final lines. "YOU'RE STUPID!" He shouted, as if trying to get one last insult in to his opponent.
After Kaos was incinerated, Frieza floated down to the ground, his forms exhausting as he reverted to base, covered in bruises as he crossed his arms. "That's one island down…let's hope the rest have less childish rulers," Frieza said, not realizing he was pouting like a petulant child.

KAOS WIN

Kaos's Doom Hands closed around the Death Ball, slowly compressing it and crushing it into nothingness. "T-thats not possible!" Frieza cried out, before the Doom Hands grabbed him by the tail. Frieza was slammed down onto the ground, where Kaos used his Doom Hands to repeatedly pummel into his face. He summoned his Psychic Shot blades to stab into Frieza's limbs, pinning him to the ground as his Doom Hands beat the tyrant for death. "This is for Glumshanks you fool!" Kaos cried out, "W-wait! No, stop! I am the mighty Lord Frieza-" Frieza begged before Kaos finished his assault, splattering Frieza's head against the ground. Kaos reverted to his base form, falling back to the ground as his tongue comically hung out of his mouth in exhaustion. "Victory…belongs…to Kaos…fool…" Kaos said, the final shot being of the supernova-sheep coming over and licking his face like the deer in Hulk vs Broly.

CONCLUSION:

Best for both imo, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Lemme know your thoughts in the comments below.

The President smiled at us from his pedestal in the sky - there, in a distant capitol where the long angular shadows of buildings loomed over you like hungry giants. He smiled upon us with an air of enduring dignity, and the two rows of white teeth glinted on the cheap, plasticky material his portrait was printed on.
I bet his house is air-conditioned, I remember thinking to myself as the sweat on my back glued the fabric of my uniform to my skin. During the early afternoon, the stuffy homeroom classroom of my sophomore year felt like the inside of an oven - a crematorium of sorts - and smelled nearly rotten with sweat, body odor, and the excrement of the bats that dwelled in the trees of the school grounds. I went to a public school - not the well-funded, big city kind that even the rich kids went to sometimes. No, I went to a public school in a village that was mostly fields and forest, tucked away from the rest of the province behind steep hills and trees that clawed their ways up to the skies.
There were barely a thousand of us living in the village, so it came to no surprise that our school was underfunded. The single, creaking ceiling fan that tried its best to keep all thirty two of us comfortable during the equatorial summers was enough proof of that. High school - a time spent mostly praying for rain that wouldn't come the entire afternoon - is a thing of the past now. I graduated six years ago - the discomfort of humid afternoons in that classroom now survived only as the faintest shadow of a memory.
I was digging through my second plate of rice, seated before the grainy box TV in the common area of my boarding house when Sarah, an old childhood friend, called me. From ages six to sixteen, I can count on my fingers and toes the number of days when she and I didn't walk to school together. "Remember our second year classroom?" she asked me on the phone, "It burned down last week. I was wondering if you were free this weekend - they still haven't gotten around to cleaning it. Maybe we could all chip in and help get it in order again? No, the other classrooms are okay."
Looking back, it seemed as though the news barely disturbed me at all. If anything, I was annoyed at the fact that I had been interrupted in the middle of dinner. I considered the invitation, however briefly. There was nothing for me to do that weekend - I had no work. All I did was lie in my little bedroom while a fan blew hot air in my face. I didn't want to spend my weekend like that, so I agreed.
The trip from the city I worked in to the little village I grew up in was not a particularly scenic nor dramatic one. I spent most of the one-hour commute sleeping in the bus with my mouth hanging open, and when I arrived I wasn't greeted by a band of family members who were surprised, but ultimately overjoyed, to see me. I still came back home every other weekend to save up on a few meals and to gain some much-needed freedom from all the noise.
It was the arrival of Sarah, and the rest of my batch, that was met with warm smiles and open arms. Some of them hadn't been here since they were whisked off to college, and a few of them had flown back from their jobs abroad to lend their aid in our little act of charity. Meanwhile, I stood there, observing, and occasionally offered a cordial handshake or comment about how much this and that had changed.
I felt myself shrinking inwards as everybody talked about how much their lives had changed since they left our village. I can kid myself into thinking I was free - I found myself a job at a call center in the nearest city - but I was still very much a part of this awful, mind-numbingly dull village. Nobody really asked about what I did or where I worked. It was almost as if they could smell the sour, sickly rot of my stagnation - like a waterway clogged with sewage and dead rats - from miles away.
Still, the excitement of being there overpowered the self-pity that welled deep inside me, and I soon warmed up to my peers as well. We were all invited to dinner at our barangay captain's home, and one of our old teachers, Miss Lubayo - who was now married, and legally a Mrs. - came to say hello. The evening was a pleasant affair, and sleep came to me softly much later that night.
Our little "clean-up drive", as we decided to call it, started at 6:30 a.m.. We came dressed in jogging pants and long-sleeved shirts, with sun hats and several gallons of water loaded into the back of an old pickup truck. There were only fifteen of us, but we were all eager to start the task of hacking down the weeds surrounding the classroom.
Our old high school was small - if you're picturing it now, I need you to think even smaller.
It consisted of two buildings - one L-shaped main building where the shared principal's and faculty office stood in one end and the common restrooms on the other, and a smaller, newer building that was perpendicular to the school's main gate.
Separating the gate and the buildings was a small school yard - a field of unkempt carabao grass pocked with puddles of dark brown mud - where the flag pole stood right in the center.
The old classroom, the one that burned down, was in the second, smaller building, on the end farthest from the gate. Miss Lubayo tagged along, and during one of our water breaks we asked her exactly how the fire started.
"Well," she began, "do you remember Manong?" My first instinct was to ask her which one, and then I remembered that she was talking about a very specific Manong - one we all remembered. He was the old school janitor.
My first impression of him when I was twelve was that he looked so much like a tree - his arms were thin, dark branches that ended in the twigs of his knobby, rounded fingers, and his skin had the withered, leathery quality of someone who had spent his days working in the sun. I mean all of this with no prejudice, as my parents' skin had looked similar as they aged, after years of toiling for me and my siblings to live well. Our school was small, so I ran into him often. He was quiet - and moved around with the imperceptibility of a ghost - but was pretty hard to forget.
"His life has been very difficult - it's complicated and I don't think we have the time. I only heard this story from rumors - he never did tell us much about his life from the start…" she was beginning to trail off, so she pulled herself back for a moment, before continuing:
"Anyway, his life got difficult, they say. His wife died of a stroke, his son died in a motorcycle accident -"
Sympathetic Oh dears and Oh gods rose up in whispers, momentarily interrupting her, and when everyone had the chance to interject, she resumed: "He was quiet before, but then he got quieter. He stopped greeting us in the morning, stopped volunteering to do things - it's the small things, you know. We tried cheering him up - tried talking to him - but…"
He tried setting the school on fire, apparently. His nephew, who moved in with him after the death of his only family, showed up in tears to the scene of the crime the following morning. "He got drunk," he told them breathlessly, "He threatened to set the school on fire, he said he got tired of everyone minding his business. I thought he was just drunk, and raving - he's old, you see - so I got him into bed and thought he'd just fall asleep."
There was something so uncanny about finding out that the timid man who glided through the corridors with a mop and broom tried to commit arson in a drunken rage - and yet he did.
The tale ended with him disappearing - it was assumed that he ran away, and was probably wandering the next village with his eyes glazed over, his only connection to reality being the fact that his feet were on the ground.
We were all sad to hear the story, but when the shock died down fifteen minutes later, we started with our other tasks.
The charred remnants of the classroom were covered in soot, dirt, and melted plastic. Chairs lay crumbled and blackened on the floor, and flakes of burnt paper tumbled about in the breeze like feathers. We began to pick up the larger pieces of debris, tossing them into sacks as we went. It was then that I heard a dry, croaking voice from somewhere behind me - it was groaning, or mumbling something. I turned around, facing the old chalkboard. A huge crack appeared along the upper right corner, creeping down towards the center before finally ending just before the bottom frame. Whatever parts of the chalkboard hadn't been burned off looked very brittle, as if the slightest touch could send it toppling over.
The voice was faint, but I knew it came from behind the chalkboard. I hesitated, looking back to see if anyone had heard it too. Nobody seemed to - maybe it was too faint for them to hear.
I stepped a little closer, if only to hear what it was, "...may their harvest be little, and their children grow sickly. May their pockets run dry…"
More wishes for misfortune were uttered, solemnly. My breath hitched as I tried to step backwards, but the temptation of having my curiosities granted was too irresistible. Instead, my body drew nearer to the source of that demented prayer.
"May their women be barren, and their sons and daughters full of hate…" Instinctively, I dug my fingers in between the cracks of the chalkboard, and pulled the sheet of burnt wood. It gave way easily, and my heart sank to the ground.
Behind the burnt chalkboard was a frail, thin, burnt body crouched in the small crevice of the wall. It shuddered, as if still alive, its hands clasped together in prayer. The parts of it that I assumed were burnt were blackened, like coal, but the rest of it looked like it was made of wood. It looked like a tree. Then I realized -
It was Manong - whatever little flesh and fat he had was consumed by the fire, his gray hair nothing more but wisps of white on top of his charred head. His prayer came to an end. He muttered an amen as he looked up at me, through jaundiced yellow eyes, and for a moment I felt myself drowning into the vast emptiness of his irises. I tried to breathe, but choked on the air, and fell back, landing on my backside with a hollow, aching thump. From the looks of it, he set the classroom on fire, and tried to burn himself with it too.
When everyone gathered around to ask if I was alright - to see if I was hurt - I could only feel a bubbling hatred rising up my throat - for them, for Miss Lubayo, for the rest of this godforsaken village that would never leave me alone or mind my own business.
*May their sons and daughters grow full of hate…* Would you believe me if I told you that I could still smell damp, burnt wood in my room at night? When I closed my eyes, those deep black eyes with its yellow sclera still leered down at me.
I can sense him creeping behind the thin walls of my bedroom. It grows hotter every night - maybe his fire is drawing nearer.

I was driving down the road, following my friend we were on the way to a restaurant. It was midnight, raining and foggy. I was about 2 car lengths behind him I didn’t know the area it was dark with little to no street lights. He was in front of me I was going under the speed limit, he saw what looked like a box or a rug in the road and was able to swerve, there were a couple of cars in the right hand lane but I didn’t see any flashing lights hazards or anything (where I live it’s pretty common to see cars on fire on the side of the road of crazy shit happening I was just minding my own business), there was also a truck in the middle of the road in the turning lane parked facing us with its lights off which I thought was unusual. I kept going. When he saw the object he swerved I didn’t have time to react and I didn’t see anything. Turns out it was a cop that had chased a wanted man into the road, he was on top of the guy trying to arrest him apparently. I noticed damage to my vehicle, my airbag didn’t deploy, I had some repair job done on my car a few weeks prior and they did a shitty job and I had parts fall off on me while driving before. I stopped immediately in the center turn lane got out and checked the damage. This lady started to yell at me saying I just killed some people, I was very confused and turned around and saw the officer in the road behind my car. I didn’t see the suspect and didn’t even know there was another person. I was straight in shock at this point I called my family told them what happened and then the police stopped me and took my phone, a cop ran up and asked me “ what did YOU DO?” I didn’t know how to answer so I stupidly said I don’t know what happened I guess they ran out in front of me” I was detained and the police asked me if I was drunk. Then asked me if I would do a sobriety test, in no way would I do any test I saw a cop and I immediately wanted my lawyer. They got a search warrant for my blood about 3 to 4 hours after the incident and I was charged with serious injury by vehicle dui and driving too fast for conditions and failure to maintain lane. I was just driving, they said some one saw me swerve around a bunch of cars which was bullshit. After a few days in jail I was able to post bond which I was told that I was lucky that happened and it cost A LOT of money. I’ve never been convicted of a crime also. I never saw any flashing lights and or police presence, I asked the cop why there was no flashing lights of flares or anything to alert me of there presence and he wouldn’t answer me. I was at the jail when the cop was speaking to another and told them the cop was chasing an armed suspect. I’m looking at 30 years in prison as per my lawyers are saying, the suspect was out on bond for being arrested 2 weeks prior. I found the incident report and no gun was found yet they still say he was armed in the media. They call me a drunk driver in the media and yet no evidence is even out there yet of said intoxication. I wasn’t drunk either, I was in shock I didn’t know what was happening, they are trying to pin this on me they talked about how the cop was “protecting his community” when he was endangering it. I’ve sold part of my inheritance to pay for lawyers but I still have no confidence in them, I’m terrified and lost countless hours of sleep and sanity, I feel like I have ptsd from this. I’ve lost job opportunities, I work in hospitality as well so I make money off tips. My lawyers say it will take a year to get the toxicology results back. I even asked the cop if if I had to sign his piece of paper and he told me yes which I signed begrudgingly. Now this cop is suing me for something he caused. Even going on the news and talking about how “ he doesn’t do this stuff for money” he exaggerated a whole bunch of facts of the incident as well saying he had to learn how to walk, when his go fund me says he was up walking around less than week after. The media is all on his side and dragging me through the mud for something he cause by chasing a convicted felon out on bond into the road. I got what I thought was the best lawyers I still have faith in them but I have little to no assurance, they won’t even schedule a time to meet me in person, I’ve sent them so much information and I don’t even think they looked at it. I sent them the incident report for the suspects case and he said, “ the incident reports that we need will be in discovery” I feel doomed and my life is over. One news agency reported an interview from the suspects family saying he had mental problems and he was being profiled. I feel like I’m being sent up River and made a political martyr I’m even wearing an ankle monitor I’m no flight risk or even a convicted criminal. I live in fear of people recognizing me or someone seeing my monitor at my new job( they don’t know this about me) I could get fired any moment I’m in an at will state. I can’t get a therapist either due to them being subpoenaed and it’s not protected info. This happened last year and I still have no movement on this, and the police officer is suing insurance trying to get paid and ride this wave as much as he can even tho he raised over 20k on his go fund me. Can someone please give me some assurance on this I feel like I’m losing my mind.

My gf and I have been dating for over 2 years now. At first when we were in our “honeymoon” stage we had sex all the time. Every day, and even wake up in the middle of the night and have sex. Slowly over time, things just stopped. Now we don’t have sex at all anymore. It’s been over 6 months. I love her with my whole heart and it’s killing me that we don’t have sex anymore. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she will just tell me that she doesn’t have a sex drive and simply is just not interested. Now, she has put on weight and I know that’s part of the problem. She says she just doesn’t feel sexy anymore. However, I try to assure her that she’s extremely beautiful and she absolutely turns me on, but in the end it doesn’t matter. Is there any advice on how I can go about talking to her about this again? I get worried talking about it to her cuz I don’t want to frustrate or bother her, or even make her feel pressured and uncomfortable, but man I’m touched starved and so sexually frustrated that, idk what to do.

I (24M) considered myself bi, but there is something I don't understand.
I only like cute female bodies, or male ones that look similarly, and this is also what I look like myself. Only had crushes on girls (the last happened in school when I was about 12).
But also, when I'm horny I always think about being with another man, and I'm instantly hard if I look in the mirror while dressing like a girl. Now I'm not a very social person, but even talking to men seems easier, I feel more confident and safe doing so. I have a few friends and they are all straight guys, I'm not out to anyone.
So my question is literally "who am I?". And are there a lot of guys like me?

Hey all, I'm Han, 24 years old also caucasian. My timezone is GMT +3 and i'm from Turkey. I'm looking for someone to talk daily about anything and if you're also an artist maybe we can create some stuff or draw together? I'm totally down for gaming or watchin stuff too!
I'm 6.1 ft - 1.84 and i do powerlifting.
I'm hugely into any kind of art as an artist, (Concept and 3D art mostly) and mostly draw or game in my spare time and sometimes I do watch anime and tv series sometimes + love going to gym. Also my mbti type is INFP-T .
I have a cat and I'd burn whole world for him.(You can see him if you look at my profile) Named him after one of my favorite bosses in Dark Souls 1.Guess which one.
I have lots of playlists for any kind of mood i'm having. Here is my spotify link ( Most of my playlists are too melancholic & slow or gym based )
https://open.spotify.com/usem5kdvdl6zg156mpb2jp5t33lt?si=72901339bf1a46aa
I don't have a favorite music, band, game etc. they are always changing but for now Bell Witch and Neroche are my favorite bands. And I love souls-like games in general.Right now i can play Dbd, Overwatch 2, Destiny 2 , Lost Ark, Apex, No Man's Sky, Escape Simulator and many other games.I also play chill games like Dinkum, A Hat in Time, Valheim etc.
Also huge coffee lover here, no sugar pls but i'm sucker for chocolate tho, you can bribe me with chocolate.
Well if you're interested feel free to send me a DM!

There's a huge debate in the red dead fandom on who is the best gunslinger. Alot always say Arthur morgan, some say rdr1 John marston, and a select few such as myself who say Red Harlow.
Now Arthur Morgan is indeed an amazing gunslinger, his skills presented through out rdr2 is mind-blowing. However I feel that out of the three, he's the least skilled. I think rdr1 John is more skilled than Arthur from rdr2, I'd list why but this post isn't about John, it's about Red.
I'd say this is how I'd order the three in terms of gun skills. 3) Arthur morgan 2) John Marston 1) Red Harlow.
Red Harlow is undoubtedly in my mind the most skilled and dangerous gunslinger in not just the Red dead franchise but western media in general.
The reason why I state such a bold statement is because when you analysis Red Harlows feats in Revolver, you begin to realise how godly he really is as a gunslinger.
First of all, let's talk about Red Harlow when he was just a small child. We see that Reds childhood home was invaded by the men sent from Deigo after making a deal with Nates business partner Griffon, who sold Nate out for his own life. When they surpise attack the home, Young Red Harlow had only just began to practice his shooting with his first ever gun, yet immediately he's thrown into a huge gunfight with no prior training, but despite that Red is just killing all of the men with ease. He had no training with a gun, nor any experience in a gunfight, hell he was a literal child, yet here he is going pop pop pop and making armed men drop. Remember these men are not just dumb outlaws, they were specifically sent by deigo,(a general from the Mexican army) so these men must have had a lifetime of training, only to be shot like flies by a kid who had no training with a gun. Its obvious that Red Harlow was a born to be gunslinger, and it foreshadows his path of becoming the ultimate fighter.
Even when his parents were murdered right infront of him, Young Red went for his father's gun (which was engulfed in flames) without any hesitation or concern for his own safety, and somehow managed to hit Daren with his hand on literal fire. Red Harlow even as a child was so brave and did things that a full grown outlaw couldn't do.
However despite all this praise, Red Harlow was still a child and still needed years of training to become the god of gunslingers that he's known for. Sure enough for the rest of the game, we play Red harlow as a grownup, and instantly we realise how very very skilled and dangerous he is.
Inorder or present all of Red Harlows insane feats, I'm going to make a list of all the batshit impossibility stuff he pulled off in the game. Please keep in mind that all of these events I'm gonna list, all happen within just roughly 2 days of each other, which makes them even more impressive.
First of all, Red Harlow takes on a ruthless gang by himself at Twin Rocks. He had to fight against around 10 armed men, a very impressive feat for just one man. He goes to Widows Patch hoping for some bounty money from the gang he took down, however instead he choses to take down another big and notorious gang that took over widows patch. Red had to take on around 15 armed men in this battle all by himself, again a very impressive feat, especially when you consider that he just took on a gang before this one.
Red then goes on a train to Brimstone, on this train a huge gang attacks the train to rob it. Red has to duel a man before running ontop of the freaking train while killing tons of armed men with ease. He fights of possibly around 60 outlaws all by himself on a moving train all by himself, even more impressive.
At Brimstone Red Harlow then goes off to fight and win against 3 huge gangs with massive prices on their heads, he takes on these 3 very big and dangerous gangs all by himself. For the first one he does bump into Jack Swift who helps alittle for the first gang, but aside from that Red Harlow fights them all alone. While fighting the last gang, he duels and wins against 3 experienced outlaws. He does all of what I've said so far on this list in the exact same day.
That night, Red Harlow causes a big brawl in Brimstone saloon. Red Harlow manages to fight off against huge buff men in the saloon without a scratch on him. Afterwards he then casually takes on another gang of outlaws in the next room, which started by Red dueling one of their men. Again all I've listed so far has happened in the same day.
After Red finds out that it was General Deigo who sent those men to kill him and his parent's, he immediately sets of to take on the entire Mexican army by himself. He attacks a Fort that is guarded by trained solders and wins against a huge wagon that was described by the sheriff as "a fortress on wheels" and he does all this like its nothing. Red did have the drop on him by Daren and was imprisoned in the mine that Deigo owned which was right next to the Fort Deigo. Being freed by his cousin Shadow Wolf, Red immediately manages to escape the mine. By the way, this mine was filled with armed miners, yet he managed to escape and kill most if not all of them.
Immediately after that with his weapons back, he attacks the Fort with Shadow Wolf by his side. Red manages to kill every single armed and trained solider in the Fort, including Daren. And right after that Red went after the Mexican train where he kill tons more of Deigos men and eventually Deigo himself. So let's just pause for a moment. Red Harlow, by himself, has done ALL of what I've said so far in just a day and a half.... what the fuck.
It gets even more crazy when after he kills Deigo, he goes back into Brimstone and signs up for the battle Royal, which is the dueling competition. Red Harlow faces against gunslingers like Mr Kelley, who is actually just as fast as Arthur Morgan. And Red manages to out duel Kelley and win. Please also note that in the book, the Sheriff himself states that "being better than most won't cut it, you have to be the best to win" and Red Harlow was the man who won the duel tournament.
Right after this, Red Harlow with Annie and Jack Swift go after Governor Griffon in his massive white house. This place was armed to the teeth with trained soldiers, and Red just casually kills them all. Red even manages to protect Jack for 2 minutes while he was unlocking the front door, protecting Jack from tons and tons of armed soldiers who are trying to kill Red and Jack.
Ofcourse Red manages to kill everyone and duels the Governor in the end, who is possibly just as fast if not faster than rdr1 John. Red rides off into the sunset with his new scorpion revolver from Griffon, satisfied with his revenge.
Red Harlow, basically all alone in this entire game, managed to do ALL OF THIS SHIT in just 2 days...
Red Harlow possiblely killed hundreds and hundreds of armed men in just 2 days. Red Harlow dueled and won again some of the greatest gunslingers in the franchise, he could kill abunch of men within a second before they could draw leather, he took on the biggest and most dangerous gangs in the series like it was nothing, and he did all of that in 2 days...
Now Arthur Morgans feats and John Marstons feats are very very impressive, however those feats happen within possibly weeks. Red Harlow managed to do so much more in so less time.
Red Harlow has to be the best gunslinger, he just has to be. I'm sorry if this is too long I just wanted to share my opinion on this subject.

He's my SSI payee. He's cheated and when I find out he flips out on me and tells me it's my fault. Everything is someone else's fault. He belittles me and tells me things like"Everyone told me not to be with you because of your disablity, I defended you and said there was more to you than that (then he looked me in the eyes and said)....but, I was wrong. Or after the cheating he told me to get the fuck out, that I was annoying and man handled me towards the door. He's shoved me and because I was caught off guard because it was so random, I shoved him back (because I was tired of being bullied) I thought it would end there but then he grabbed me and made arm bars around me neck. I struggled to get out and while he was squeezing he cracked my front tooth (granted my front teeth are root canals and not as strong as regular teeth)...it was like he was trying to choke me out. The next day I bit into a sandwich and it fell out. He told me later he was just trying to restrain me so I wouldn't start swinging (why is he showing dominance after he shoved me first, in my mind out of nowhere)...but why was it not around my chest or waist holding my arms? I'm not a violent person either so, wtf. He also told me my tooth was because I bit into a sandwich.
After the cheating and telling me to get the fuck out...I said it's fine if it's over but I'm disabled and need help to find a place to live. I said this very calmly. He told me, no, that's your responsibility. And later to start sucking dick and start,"hoing..." (Because I'd be homeless)
Also when he said get the fuck out I told him I couldn't walk far. That he knows my body will collapse. He told me he didn't care and to get the fuck out.
He's my payee.
A few days later he screamed at me for over five hours, part of it was screaming,"Are we going to have sex again?!! Yes or No?!!!" When I tried to talk and explain he told me to,"Shut the fuck up...say yes, or, no."
All because he blames the cheating on lack of intimacy but I tried to explain how he treats me makes that unlikely.
Then he went on about how his life is so hard and then went in the garage to mix bleach with I think ammonia agents to kill himself. I told him I'd try and take it away from him but he most likely would tackle me for it.
What also freaks me out a little is when I woke up the next day, he asked me what happened to my arm. I had a burn blister on it. We don't have any fire in the bedroom or garage except for cigarettes lighters. This was not the shape of a cigarette burn. I wasn't in the kitchen or near a stove. There's no way I can figure out how that happened. Maybe I'm very paranoid that he did it (?) after I went to sleep???
Anyways, this is a very concise and shortened version of this. VERY.
Phychologically I always (well, almost, sometimes I refuse to engauge at all) but I do spell out in texts to him what I think is wrong, in great detail and why he is responsible for these patterns. Not I...
I text because I'm afraid of in person.
I feel terrorized and my only family has a neurodegenerative disease and the other is dying.
I've tried to find a way out.
Friends of mine spilled more beans to my relative with the neurodegenerative disorder.
Which really freaked him out and isn't good for him. I know these friends of mine were trying to help, they're out of state, but I had to text them and say that I know it wasn't their intention but that did the opposite of helping. I said I loved them and thanked them.
They haven't gotten back to me since.
I've looked for other options but there are only DV shelters that last for a month and I need permanent low cost housing since I can't work.
I can't be out on the street. I can't fully care for myself.
I'm not sure what to do. I feel hopeless.
After these two relatives pass, I don't want to die but I may un-alive myself just to escape.
I don't know what to do....
Any thoughts?

Oh, my beloved's wonderfully beautiful house, we found it empty From humans, even from empty ghosts Where did they leave and where did they go? There is no one here Even ask him about them except the remnants of their stuff I stood by their hearth and the ashes of their fire Maybe they will answer my question But she is deaf even if she speaks to them with signs Dumb don't speak and don't care about my condition I turned around, towards my sweetheart's room And water them with pure tears Harsh does not understand the lover's words They are like envious hearts The soul is desperate here around his house I call out loud why the beloved changed his home How do I find my soul mate? And circuits I can't cheat on I can't help it I sat watching and the spectrum came waving to me Like a mirage, I see it and it has no shadow Shows its color and body But I saw her braid when I took off her veil I stood up to him and he approached me and greeted him Hello, hello, where are you my dear How can you leave me without a mark, my love? You are my world and all my life She looked at me with eyes that were gazelles Tears fell like a string of pearls and overflowed She said: Don't blame me for a moment I have never paid attention to others, and the heart has no entrance to others Be patient, may God have mercy on you And after the distance that was between us, you will feel close to my arrival I told her that my patience ran out and my life What's my trick, it's been a long time to leave you? And you're in my heart, how could you not know that? And the fire in my heart burns and glows My eyes do not rest for an hour at night - Tell me when the darkness of the night will pass Then she looked at the Southern Star and offered him sympathy Because he is also a lover And I said, O Star of the South, there you are, like me This chandelier faces north My love also left our homes Don't blame me, spectrum, she's my love After her, I feel the spirit rising He smiled sweetly about the eight pearls They emit a glow and scatter their mirages high And his spectrum disappeared from the moment of my eyes He missed his imagination and got carried away a lot I stood up to say something that crossed my mind A dream my eyes saw or something I imagined for me I wiped my eyes and saw nothing but those remnants of their belongings And the dust hid under it everything they left I cried and cried knowing that crying does not work But crying over him sometimes lightens the burden for me I walked with my eyes behind her whims And the eye hopes to see it again And every step I take, the heart wants her home So that his house became shady, warm and cool And if a vile or envious person passes me by, he will blame me They said compensation or someone else's role in place of your lover I nodded and didn't want to talk to him until he leaves He thinks I'm crazy He doesn't know how much I love Sarah She is life, soul and all my hopes Sarah, my life and death without her I don't care if I see her with blood on my clothes They mentioned that she lives in the winter in the desert The desert is very wide From Dumat Al-Jandal to the North Mountains From the Jordan Junction in the south to Wadi Ramadi As for the country of Raqqa, its sun shines with heat My dear brother: whenever I see lightning, I am happy At Kohla I said lightning makes me happy My dear brother: When my chest gets tired of my world I sing in a sad voice of my fears I'm still young, but my hair has turned white I don't know why luck has become a sieve Even my buddies. They started to move away from me And when I come to them, they don't care about me Maybe I think when their minds are petty - I have never been stingy. I disobey myself if you ask me to They shorten the words of benefit so that I do not hear Their love for my enemy became more Solitude has become more beautiful and delicious in the wilderness And I answered his wolf and howled over the hills I said to him: O wolf, your voice comforts me Come close to me, you are my friend You left behind your loved ones and so did I And your worries and fears have a loud voice Our loved ones are having a good winter in this beautiful country May they be healthy and their country fertile When they get close, good news for you I will give you from God's gifts of elite what I have You and I made a vow of purity and purity And what we wish for you is my hope Let you play with deer and antelope And drink water after thirst from pure water Even your fangs are beautiful, don't eat carrion with them And do not snipe from the weak catch - And what do you say about the days that reverse the trend? Bad days, cutting chains and cables His ribs trembled and his chest ached His voice echoed from the countryside and hills And the wild pigeons heard the echo of my complaint to the wolf Then the pigeons wailed from a thin tree branch Birds of prey fluttered to him Even the broken winged one took pity on me Then the birds migrated south and rose into the sky Even the slender bird has become a migratory They returned after about a year and then went to Russia They want a spring and drink earthquake water They said we saw him a year ago This is a wolf companion in an empty nomadic wilderness It tolerates heat and winter frosts He only wears shabby clothes Then the birds headed with the liver of the sky towards the star of Capricorn After we cut my heart Death has become with my life together I think death is more beautiful than life - He did not despair of the mercy of the living God who never sleeps He is a surety if he wants to cherish me or humiliate me If he wants to send happiness to my heart And it makes the world beautiful in my eyes This is the appreciation of God Almighty, and He is above the Great Throne God knows what covered my chest and what he said Oh God, I ask you, Taiz Karim, I miss him You are generous and giving My brother is still physically and existentially alone in my heart When I visit him, he makes my situation with him generous His right is greater than mine, and I cannot fulfill his right For the duration of his absence, I cut off my letters from him May my life and my time bring us together And the eyes rejoice after crying And the dark days stop oppressing its people After the gloom, life becomes beautiful and cloudless I would be glad to see him if he came to me in my dreams So how about my eyes if I saw him before me My brother, when he sits in the council, adorns him with etiquette and good manners He has a stature and learner from the lives of the apostles - Lover of the book of God and the biography of his prophet What has changed by nature is still generous When the white flags of thanks went up It has a white flag with a high mountain peak And the miser who closes his door is miserly The doors of his house are always open and no doors are closed He meets you and greets you and you can see the fun on his face And the smell of coffee, saffron and cardamom, coffee workers He always honors guests as he honors himself A decent man always has guests in his house I remember him when a gentle western breeze comes I called him by his name and one of my sons was named after him I have waited and hoped that my dream would come true Neither my uncle nor my uncle compensated me for that And as I climbed to the top of Mt The world narrowed down and the carefree walks beside me Separation of a brother cuts the veins of my heart The wound is not treated unless it is near me I'm not with living in the world in happiness I ask forgiveness from God if I say that death is more merciful to my condition - Oh God, forgive my slip and my sin You know what's going on Man's luck is helpless He runs and does not catch up with bare feet Because the world has managed him Like the fearful when fear befalls him Just like scattering flour with the wind It is necessary to collect it, but the wind shakes the flour When night comes and people enter their homes They sleep now, but I stay up with my worries The night is like a stingy person collecting his money in a treasury Gather my worries hard and leave no burden but bring it It's like I'm on coals turning on the night of the fire Seconds became long in this darkness He no longer walks, but something is pulling him You have eaten me In winter, cold flutes are heard Blue and black clouds covered my eyes And the wind squeezed his lightning and it disappeared Her thunder resounded like the beating of a drum - And they descended the valleys and tributaries with their pebbles A roaring water shouted noise If I put my palms in front of me, I will not see them My mind narrowed until I touched its tip I'm waiting for the harbinger of dawn However, the sky became cold and its star was clear The ice melted and my limbs froze Even my lips weren't able to say oh brother The twilight color in my eyes is fading Missed from last night The morning came and completed what was missing from the worries of the night And the sun at noon automatically with its warmth My blood ran through my veins I cried the cry of an old man who had lost his only child At the top of a tall mountain then began to weep My eyes looked from west to east And differentiate between right and left I shed tears like embers on my cheeks I hope that, I hope it heals me Lump in my throat and shortness of breath And over my eyes a thick cloud covering me - I no longer find myself between the valleys and the mountain And if I read the letter K, I told him the letter D I asked for my freedom, I tasted the obvious injustice I insisted on ordering it, and I feel sorry for her You have redeemed freedom with soul, blood and body I have never been lazy But it pushes me away into alien land and over the edge And my heart goes out to the family homes and loved ones to care for them I want to be close to them, I want to be near them, I want to support them And these are their songs, and I don't want to live alone I am not an arrogant person And I didn't run like tails like artists But she obeys only the humiliated and submissive And lead them without pulling the ropes Don't take advantage and deny making it known Deny the love of the generosity of the preferred benefactor And if she is responsible for her prestige and money I stood up and was aware of all the scammers What happened to a prisoner without fault struck me, too And whatever grievances reached his chest, you came to me I want liberation, not a slave to the world And the spirit frees her few lovers Patience is patience for time and time Men and even children cried at him as he turned gray - hanging from the roof of the sky
https://aqelayash.blogspot.com/search?q=%D9%8A%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B2%D9%84+

​
Oh, my beloved's wonderfully beautiful house, we found it empty
From humans, even from empty ghosts
Where did they leave and where did they go?
There is no one here
Even ask him about them except the remnants of their stuff
I stood by their hearth and the ashes of their fire
Maybe they will answer my question
But she is deaf even if she speaks to them with signs
Dumb don't speak and don't care about my condition
I turned around, towards my sweetheart's room
And water them with pure tears
Harsh does not understand the lover's words
They are like envious hearts
The soul is desperate here
around his house
I call out loud why the beloved changed his home
How do I find my soul mate?
And circuits I can't cheat on
I can't help it
I sat watching and the spectrum came waving to me
Like a mirage, I see it and it has no shadow
Shows its color and body
But I saw her braid when I took off her veil
I stood up to him and he approached me and greeted him
Hello, hello, where are you my dear
How can you leave me without a mark, my love?
You are my world and all my life
She looked at me with eyes that were gazelles
Tears fell like a string of pearls and overflowed
She said: Don't blame me for a moment
I have never paid attention to others, and the heart has no entrance to others
Be patient, may God have mercy on you
And after the distance that was between us, you will feel close to my arrival
I told her that my patience ran out and my life
What's my trick, it's been a long time to leave you?
And you're in my heart, how could you not know that?
And the fire in my heart burns and glows
My eyes do not rest for an hour at night
-
Tell me when the darkness of the night will pass
Then she looked at the Southern Star and offered him sympathy
Because he is also a lover
And I said, O Star of the South, there you are, like me
This chandelier faces north
My love also left our homes
Don't blame me, spectrum, she's my love
After her, I feel the spirit rising
He smiled sweetly about the eight pearls
They emit a glow and scatter their mirages high
And his spectrum disappeared from the moment of my eyes
He missed his imagination and got carried away a lot
I stood up to say something that crossed my mind
A dream my eyes saw or something I imagined for me
I wiped my eyes and saw nothing but those remnants of their belongings
And the dust hid under it everything they left
I cried and cried knowing that crying does not work
But crying over him sometimes lightens the burden for me
I walked with my eyes behind her whims
And the eye hopes to see it again
And every step I take, the heart wants her home
So that his house became shady, warm and cool
And if a vile or envious person passes me by, he will blame me
They said compensation or someone else's role in place of your lover
I nodded and didn't want to talk to him
until he leaves
He thinks I'm crazy
He doesn't know how much I love Sarah
She is life, soul and all my hopes
Sarah, my life and death without her
I don't care if I see her with blood on my clothes
They mentioned that she lives in the winter in the desert
The desert is very wide
From Dumat Al-Jandal to the North Mountains
From the Jordan Junction in the south to Wadi Ramadi
As for the country of Raqqa, its sun shines with heat
My dear brother: whenever I see lightning, I am happy
At Kohla I said lightning makes me happy
My dear brother: When my chest gets tired of my world
I sing in a sad voice of my fears
I'm still young, but my hair has turned white
I don't know why luck has become a sieve
Even my buddies. They started to move away from me
And when I come to them, they don't care about me
Maybe I think when their minds are petty
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I have never been stingy. I disobey myself if you ask me to
They shorten the words of benefit so that I do not hear
Their love for my enemy became more
Solitude has become more beautiful and delicious in the wilderness
And I answered his wolf and howled over the hills
I said to him: O wolf, your voice comforts me
Come close to me, you are my friend
You left behind your loved ones and so did I
And your worries and fears have a loud voice
Our loved ones are having a good winter in this beautiful country
May they be healthy and their country fertile
When they get close, good news for you
I will give you from God's gifts of elite what I have
You and I made a vow of purity and purity
And what we wish for you is my hope
Let you play with deer and antelope
And drink water after thirst from pure water
Even your fangs are beautiful, don't eat carrion with them
And do not snipe from the weak catch
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And what do you say about the days that reverse the trend?
Bad days, cutting chains and cables
His ribs trembled and his chest ached
His voice echoed from the countryside and hills
And the wild pigeons heard the echo of my complaint to the wolf
Then the pigeons wailed from a thin tree branch
Birds of prey fluttered to him
Even the broken winged one took pity on me
Then the birds migrated south and rose into the sky
Even the slender bird has become a migratory
They returned after about a year and then went to Russia
They want a spring and drink earthquake water
They said we saw him a year ago
This is a wolf companion in an empty nomadic wilderness
It tolerates heat and winter frosts
He only wears shabby clothes
Then the birds headed with the liver of the sky towards the star of Capricorn
After we cut my heart
Death has become with my life together
I think death is more beautiful than life
-
He did not despair of the mercy of the living God who never sleeps
He is a surety if he wants to cherish me or humiliate me
If he wants to send happiness to my heart
And it makes the world beautiful in my eyes
This is the appreciation of God Almighty, and He is above the Great Throne
God knows what covered my chest and what he said
Oh God, I ask you, Taiz Karim, I miss him
You are generous and giving
My brother is still physically and existentially alone in my heart
When I visit him, he makes my situation with him generous
His right is greater than mine, and I cannot fulfill his right
For the duration of his absence, I cut off my letters from him
May my life and my time bring us together
And the eyes rejoice after crying
And the dark days stop oppressing its people
After the gloom, life becomes beautiful and cloudless
I would be glad to see him if he came to me in my dreams
So how about my eyes if I saw him before me
My brother, when he sits in the council, adorns him with etiquette and good manners
He has a stature and learner from the lives of the apostles
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Lover of the book of God and the biography of his prophet
What has changed by nature is still generous
When the white flags of thanks went up
It has a white flag with a high mountain peak
And the miser who closes his door is miserly
The doors of his house are always open and no doors are closed
He meets you and greets you and you can see the fun on his face
And the smell of coffee, saffron and cardamom, coffee workers
He always honors guests as he honors himself
A decent man always has guests in his house
I remember him when a gentle western breeze comes
I called him by his name and one of my sons was named after him
I have waited and hoped that my dream would come true
Neither my uncle nor my uncle compensated me for that
And as I climbed to the top of Mt
The world narrowed down and the carefree walks beside me
Separation of a brother cuts the veins of my heart
The wound is not treated unless it is near me
I'm not with living in the world in happiness
I ask forgiveness from God if I say that death is more merciful to my condition
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Oh God, forgive my slip and my sin
You know what's going on
Man's luck is helpless
He runs and does not catch up with bare feet
Because the world has managed him
Like the fearful when fear befalls him
Just like scattering flour with the wind
It is necessary to collect it, but the wind shakes the flour
When night comes and people enter their homes
They sleep now, but I stay up with my worries
The night is like a stingy person collecting his money in a treasury
Gather my worries hard and leave no burden but bring it
It's like I'm on coals turning on the night of the fire
Seconds became long in this darkness
He no longer walks, but something is pulling him
You have eaten me
In winter, cold flutes are heard
Blue and black clouds covered my eyes
And the wind squeezed his lightning and it disappeared
Her thunder resounded like the beating of a drum
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And they descended the valleys and tributaries with their pebbles
A roaring water shouted noise
If I put my palms in front of me, I will not see them
My mind narrowed until I touched its tip
I'm waiting for the harbinger of dawn
However, the sky became cold and its star was clear
The ice melted and my limbs froze
Even my lips weren't able to say oh brother
The twilight color in my eyes is fading
Missed from last night
The morning came and completed what was missing from the worries of the night
And the sun at noon automatically with its warmth
My blood ran through my veins
I cried the cry of an old man who had lost his only child
At the top of a tall mountain then began to weep
My eyes looked from west to east
And differentiate between right and left
I shed tears like embers on my cheeks
I hope that, I hope it heals me
Lump in my throat and shortness of breath
And over my eyes a thick cloud covering me
-
I no longer find myself between the valleys and the mountain
And if I read the letter K, I told him the letter D
I asked for my freedom, I tasted the obvious injustice
I insisted on ordering it, and I feel sorry for her
You have redeemed freedom with soul, blood and body
I have never been lazy
But it pushes me away into alien land and over the edge
And my heart goes out to the family homes and loved ones to care for them
I want to be close to them, I want to be near them, I want to support them
And these are their songs, and I don't want to live alone
I am not an arrogant person
And I didn't run like tails like artists
But she obeys only the humiliated and submissive
And lead them without pulling the ropes
Don't take advantage and deny making it known
Deny the love of the generosity of the preferred benefactor
And if she is responsible for her prestige and money
I stood up and was aware of all the scammers
What happened to a prisoner without fault struck me, too
And whatever grievances reached his chest, you came to me
I want liberation, not a slave to the world
And the spirit frees her few lovers
Patience is patience for time and time
Men and even children cried at him as he turned gray
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hanging from the roof of the sky
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